So, Rei has the chance to become a Pretty Cure! I'm sure this is going to represent a major change in her life path from being a shrine maiden who works part-time at that new Crystal Millennium building that popped up a while back.
Nagisa Misumi sits under the softly swaying branches of the sakura tree. Next to her is Shougo Fujimura. They sit and they talk.
They talk and they sit.
They talk about the strange things that have happened at their school, with Nagisa trying to conceal just how much she knows about them. They talk about the lacrosse club and the football club.
But there's something missing.
Because… those are really the only things that they talk about. There should be something more, but… Fujimura isn't like Honoka. Here and there, Nagisa tries to find something else to talk about. About their favorite colors or their favorite foods. But the words keep falling away, trailing off. It's not that Fujimura isn't nice or anything like that. But if Nagisa doesn't take the effort to start the discussion and keep it going, it doesn't seem to keep going naturally. The two quickly fall off into silence, just sitting there next to each other.
It isn't like this when Nagisa's with Honoka. With her best friend, she can always find something to talk about, even if there's not really anything to talk about. They could chat about the color of the sky, or the leaves on the trees, or whatever nonsense Mipple and Mepple got up to in the last few days, and it just keeps going. She can keep it up forever, without effort.
Thinking about the little fairy at her hip sends a pang of quiet sadness through Nagisa again. Ever since the Dark King was destroyed, things have been different for the two tiny fairies.
The Queen of Light is dead.
She's gone, and no one seems to know what that means for the Garden of Light.
Mepple and Mipple should be returning home. But they've said they don't want to go. They've decided to stay with Nagisa and Honoka. Nagisa wouldn't say it out loud, because she'd feel manipulative if she did, but she's glad that Mepple has decided to stay. Part of that, selfishly, is that the Dark Seeds are still out there, and as far as she knows, they still want revenge for the Dark King or whatever they're after. But… she'd miss Mepple. She'd really miss him. Even if the two of them do argue all the time.
But even though they're staying on Earth, or maybe because of it, both fairies have been quieter and more somber since the death fo the Queen. Nagisa isn't sure what to do.
Worse, the person she'd be most likely to go to for advice, Endymion, the masked tuxedo warrior, is gone too. Well, from what he's said, he's probably still in Tokyo, but he's been helping the Sailor Senshi with something very important all weekend, and apparently he has a plane to catch this evening. There's something wrong in America that he needs to take care of; that's all Nagisa knows.
Nagisa suppresses the urge to shake her head, knowing it'd be misunderstood. The silence stretches out for a minute more before she can stand it no longer. She sighs and rises to her feet, managing a smile for the boy. "Thanks for… talking with me."
Fujimura smiles back at her a little more broadly. There's a distinct lack of butterflies in her stomach. Why is that her first thought? Then his lips part to speak. "Yeah. Any time. Any friend of Honoka's is a friend of mine. Though I… have a feeling she'd be better to talk to about whatever it is that's bothering you."
"Wha-?" Nagisa starts to ask, not entirely sure what he means by that.
"I'm not saying I'm a dummy or anything, but Honoka's got at least twice my brains. If something's wrong, she'll probably figure it out a lot better than I could, and she's always so willing to help, you know? And you're closest to her, so of course she'd help you!" With that sprightly if confusing note, Fujimura hops up, giving Nagisa a quick wave. "See you, probably tomorrow?"
Nagisa says her goodbye on autopilot and watches Fujimura walk away, completely unaware of the real reason she'd asked to talk to him. Not that it really mattered. She'd never be able to tell him how she feels about him.
.
Admitting that should feel bitter. It always did before. But… But…
"Agh! This is so frustrating!" She looks around- it doesn't seem like anyone heard her say that out loud. A good thing, too, because she'd hate to try and explain. Because… she's supposed to be upset that she didn't admit that she liked him. That was the whole point of talking with him.
But talking with him wasn't… wasn't like she'd expected it to be. There was a spark missing.
He wasn't that interested in lacrosse. Nagisa found that she wasn't that interested in football. And that was it, really. Fujimura liked to talk about football, and plans for football, and what the other football teams were doing. And that was only natural, but when he tried to talk about Nagisa's team and what they'd been doing, she could tell that he was more reaching for something to talk about than actually being interested in it for its own sake.
Or… or interested in it because it was her saying it. The way-
The way it would be with Honoka. Who, come to think of it, probably never spared much thought for lacrosse before Nagisa met her. Much as Nagisa never spared much thought for chemistry or astronomy before she got to know Honoka.
Something in her mind puts what Fujimura said about help together with that thought. Nagisa Misumi is not, on the whole, an introspective girl, but she can, occasionally, put two and two together to get four. And, though it feels kind of unkind to think it, she has to admit that she wishes she'd spent the last fifteen minutes with Honoka instead.
And that makes her think about why she wanted, or thought she wanted, to spend those minutes with Fujimura.
And a few things click.
She felt terrible flashes of jealousy when she first noticed Honoka and Fujimara together, walking to school. Sometimes, she still does. But something's changed, somehow. Is it just that her crush is fading? Nagisa leans her head back and presses her palms against her eyes. She tries, just as an exercise, to imagine working up the nerve to actually confess to him. Imagines - No, she forces herself to imagine it going well, better than she really thinks it would, in her heart of hearts. She imagines his goofy smile, as he steps forwards, pulling her in close to him, her face tipping dow- tipping up. Then, a kiss-
But…
Somehow, despite all the effort she pushes into the image, she can't imagine that kiss being… much of anything. The idea feels like, say, the thought of kissing her uncle on the cheek. There's nothing bad about it. It's a friendly gesture. But nothing more.
It doesn't make her cheeks burn, or set butterflies dancing in her stomach, or leave her wanting to scream into her pillow the way that some of her manga do when the main couple finally opens up to each other.
Fujimara's a nice boy, but… She can't imagine him being a good kisser. Not like- she struggles to think of an example. Her mind turns to the romance movies she and Honoka have watched. And then, unbidden, a face appears in her mind.
Not like Honoka?
And there it is. Heat rushes to her cheeks. Dancing butterflies in her stomach crash up against a sinking dread. Her thoughts come to a screeching halt
Wait. WHAT?
She… oh. Oh, no. Oh, god no.
She's thinking about Honoka differently now. As… Not as a friend, but as a girl.
She knows this kind of thing can happen. At least two other girls she knows of in her year have admitted to her that they like girls. She's found love letters slipped into her locker quite a number of times, and some of those were from girls. Nagisa's not really even surprised to find herself thinking of a girl this way, not in general. It's not the first time she's… well, noticed a girl, so to speak.
But feeling it this much, about Honoka, is… This… This is complicated. This is dangerous.
And it's not like it's going to matter.
Honoka is amazing. Heroic and smart and funny and everything Nagisa isn't. Honoka deserves someone better than her. Someone who isn't uncontrollably brash and loud, who doesn't keep getting them into trouble as Pretty Cures. Who kept falling for Poisony's stupid tricks right up to the end of her. Who keeps letting those horrible Dark Seeds get under her skin.
Honoka deserves someone better than Nagisa. If she even likes girls that way- probably not.
An unwelcome vision strikes Nagisa like a spear in her heart. Herself, leaning forwards and just a little down to kiss Honoka. Honoka stiffening, pushing Nagisa back. Those eyes, blue like the evening sky, now dark and stormy. That elegant face, turning away. Honoka wouldn't be angry, nor cruel. Just… confused. Taken aback. Disappointed in Nagisa.
Honoka would shake her head, and-
Nagisa lets out a keening cry and tries to stop thinking about any of this. To put it all out of her mind before she imagines what Honoka might say next. Because whatever it would be, it would break her heart.
It would never be the same again. It'd never be any good again, after that. Maybe nothing would.
Life would be so much simpler if this turns out to be just a passing fancy. Something she can just ignore and let pass. Like her crush on Fujimara seems to be doing.
Life would be so much simpler if…
A defiant, and sometimes gallant, corner of her mind rebels against that 'if.'
She slumps, muttering under her breath.
"This is unbelievable…"
Finally, she opens her eyes and trudges toward the train station.
Wednesday, June 24th, 1992
After school
In the Branches of the Sky Tree
Saki Hyuuga sighs comfortably, resting her head in the lap of her favorite person in the entire world. Mai's fingers run idly through her hair. She's looking out over the forests, down across part of Kamakura city and out to sea. Her gaze is fixed in the distance. She's probably counting the buildings or something. Or maybe trying to fix it all into her mind for a sketch.
There are probably art words for all the, uh, elements. Saki knows she's heard them, but despite her best efforts, she can't remember all the things Mai tells her about drawing. She gets so distracted when Mai gets passionate talking about things.
Mai… Mai is someone special to Saki. Love is the word that flutters through her mind, but seems to flutter away, frightened off somehow.
Love is a big word, Love is a scary word. Saki loves Mai, and she knows that Mai loves Saki too, but…
Put a capital on that word, and all of a sudden Saki isn't sure where things stand. She's had crushes before. And what she feels for Saki is like a crush, but… different. Is this Love? She doesn't know. Nothing else compares.
Mai's so smart, and so funny. And ever since that adventure in the Land of Clocks, where they so very nearly lost…
Well, that's the thing.
Mai is Saki's best friend, and she's beautiful and smart and funny and that smile fills Saki's stomach with butterflies. Like a crush, but different. Why? Is it because they're best friends on top of the crush? Is it because they're Pretty Cure underneath it all? Can all of those work at once?
Does she want this to be more than a crush? To really steady down and be more than friends with hair-stroking?
All she really knows is that life's been scary for the last three months, and Mai makes her feel safe. But at the same time, something terrible and wonderful and magnetic about Mai, her grace, her presence, scares Saki more than a fifty-meter Uzaina.
But if there's one thing Saki's learned from her parents, it's that when it comes to the people you care about, communication is the most important thing in the world. To be willing to speak, and to listen.
So she's going to talk to Mai about all of this, even if it's scarier than fighting that fifty-meter Uzaina. She takes a deep breath to shore up her resolve.
And Mai must have heard that. She probably wasn't as deep into whatever she was thinking about as Saki thought. She glances down at Saki with a soft smile. She's so calm- nearly always so calm…
Saki's nerves sing tension and her resolve starts cracking again, but she pushes on before she can chicken out. "Soooo… Things aren't as crazy as they used to be."
"That's… true. I could wish we had any more clues about where they're hiding Michiru and Kaoru than Dark Fall has about where to find the Fountain of the Sun." She purses her lips, looking sad for a moment. "But you're right; except for that Sirloin guy, things have been a little quieter for the past few weeks. And I don't think we'll be seeing Sirloin again… Having to keep restoring their warriors again and again seems to be slowing Dark Fall down, even if we can't get them to go away permanently like Kintoleski did."
Saki sniffs. "It'd be especially nice if Miss Shotaru would go away like Kintoleski."
Mai smiles. "Remember Honoka?"
Saki nods slowly. Right, the pretty Pretty Cure from up in Tokyo. "Yeah."
"If she were with us, she'd probably be able to keep count of all the different ways you've gotten Miss Shitataare's name wrong. You're doing it on purpose these days, aren't you?" Mai winks and smiles.
Saki suppresses a thrill before answering. "Hey, if she can mess with us, we can mess with her."
"Oh, I'm not complaining."
Saki takes a moment, reminding herself of what she was doing. No chickening out. "But anyway… it's nice to have some time to think once in a while. And just… talk."
There is a weight to that last word, and Mai picks up on it at once.
"Is this the kind of conversation that we'd want to be on solid ground for?"
Saki's nervous. And, she realizes, Mai can tell. And it's making her nervous. And so Saki shakes her head and smiles.
"No, but I guess I should probably sit up." Saki suppresses a sigh. This was nice.
Mai nods. "Okay."
Mai seems a little less worried now. That's… good. Saki thinks back to the Maze of Tartarus in the Land of Clocks. She nearly lost Mai forever, before they were rescued by a mysterious woman who could only have been a Sailor Senshi. Saki likes to think that she and Mai would have reconciled and made it out together anyway, even if the secret Senshi hadn't been there to remind Saki that Mai still cared about her. And to talk to Mai, too- when they compared notes later, it seemed as if she must have talked to both of them at nearly the same time.
Saki likes to think that everything would have been fine.
But she… isn't sure.
Since then, Saki's made sure to pay closer attention to Mai. To listen, and to be the best for Mai that she can be.
Whether it's because the mysterious Senshi helped Saki too, or just because of the brush with disaster caused by them getting into an argument, they've both found it easier to get along and be open with each other. To stop and talk it out when they start to get on each other's nerves.
For a moment, Saki concentrates on just moving. The branches of the Sky Tree are huge and wide, but it still pays to be careful when you're skyscraper-high off the ground and not transformed. Soon enough, they're properly sitting across from each other, facing each other. Silently, Saki stares at Mai, and Mai stares back. No chickening out. Saki has to know. One way, or the other.
It's scary, but Saki knows that if worst comes to worst, the two of them will still be friends. They'll still be Pretty Cure.
"Are you… Do you…" Saki starts and stops, hesitating. She's spent a lot of time thinking about asking this question, and somehow every thought she's ever had about how to ask it has flown right out of her head now, in the very moment. "What kind of…"
Language has failed Saki. But- no chickening out!
She brings both hands up to her mouth, clasped in wordless prayer for a moment, her next words are punctuated with a chopping motion, as she swings them forward and clasps them back in front of her lips. "Girls. Boys. Kissing. Who?"
Mai giggles, and Saki finds herself pouting. Then Mai sticks her tongue out, and withdraws it into a silly little smirk. "So if I translated that into Japanese right, I think you just asked me who I want to kiss…"
Saki just nods, trying very hard not to look desperately eager.
Mai stops, thinking it over. "I… don't really know. I've never kissed anyone before." Saki can hear that there's more to those words than just the quiet admission itself.
Saki tilts her head curiously. "You haven't imagined what it'd be like? Any actors, or…"
And now Saki can tell that Mai is steeling herself, and scooting a little closer to her, and blushing more and more intensely, and she tries to clamp down on the wild surge of hope before it gets completely out of control. Maybe, just maybe, Mai is getting ready to whisper her answer right in Saki's ear-
Or… not quite. Saki forces herself to sit still, waiting, hoping.
And finally, her hope is answered.
"There is… one person I've thought about kissing." Mai's eyes wander the leaves of the great Sky Tree, avoiding Saki's face. "Someone I've thought about kissing a lot. Someone that I want to give my first kiss to."
Oh. Very suddenly, Saki's mouth feels very dry. She licks her lips, trying to concentrate totally on what her friend is saying. It's suddenly so much harder to hear over the rush of blood and pounding pulse in her ears.
And finally, Mai looks up, looks right into Saki's eyes.
"Would it be okay if I kissed you?"
Language fails Saki even more completely. Her words lodge in her throat, and all she can do is nod, jerking her head up and down, and only stopping because-
Because Mai pushes closer, and their lips touch.
The rest of the world falls away. Right here and now. Being like this, here with Mai. The only thing that comes close is calling on the Spirits of the Earth, and the sheer elemental joy that comes with it. But that's like comparing a reading lamp to the noonday Sun.
Saki feels like she's floating. And as Mai slowly pulls back, Saki can see the spirits of the Wind and Sky dancing around her. Their glow gives Mai a soft halo, here in the shadow of the Sky Tree's leaves.
"Oh." Mai says, sounding utterly awestruck. "Wow."
Saki glances down at her own hands, watching the spirits of the Earth and Moon dancing around her. She wonders, only briefly, how she must look to Mai right now.
"Yeah…" Saki can't think of any word better to say than that. "Wow."
And they sit there, quietly, in the branches of the Sky Tree, for a time, needing no more words than those.
But then Mai glances over to Saki. A wide smile breaks out across her face at the thought of what just happened.
"So, does that mean we're dating?"
Saki tilts her head. "Hmmm. I mean, we already go practically everywhere together."
"I don't think it counts as dating if you're not going places you wouldn't go anyway."
"I guess we could fly somewhere."
Mai huffs and tilts her chin, pointing out over the city towards the distant shores, to the hidden caves that the Dark Fall seems to be based out of. "But we can't go too far from Kamakura. What if an Uzaina shows up?"
"I see what you mean. And when we try something new around town, a monster keeps interrupting and it's stressful."
Mai smiles, bumping Saki with her shoulder. "Maybe after we finally beat Akudaikan, we can go out somewhere together to celebrate."
Saki giggles. "That sounds great!"
Mai leans over, resting her head on Saki's shoulder. "Yeah, it does."
The silence between the two is the same as it always was, and yet it is also somehow different as well. After a moment, Mai makes a questioning little noise.
"What is it?"
"It's nothing." Mai says, not exactly avoiding the question, but not answering it either.
"Mai…"
Mai sits up straight again with a silly look on her face. "I was just wondering… I know we just said that we aren't going to start dating yet… But does that mean that we have to stop kissing?"
"I'm not saying I'm a dummy or anything, but Honoka's got at least twice my brains. If something's wrong, she'll probably figure it out a lot better than I could, and she's always so willing to help, you know? And you're closest to her, so of course she'd help you!" With that sprightly if confusing note, Fujimura hops up, giving Nagisa a quick wave. "See you, probably tomorrow?"
Mai seems a little less worried now. That's… good. Saki thinks back to the Maze of Tartarus in the Land of Clocks. She nearly lost Mai forever, before they were rescued by a mysterious woman who could only have been a Sailor Senshi. Saki likes to think that she and Mai would have reconciled and made it out together anyway, even if the secret Senshi hadn't been there to remind Saki that Mai still cared about her. And to talk to Mai, too- when they compared notes later, it seemed as if she must have talked to both of them at nearly the same time.
Pluto is a busy busy bee when we aren't looking isn't she. If at the end of this we can pull out that one meme about the load bearing block, I wouldn't be surprised
For real. I almost didn't go to my high school prom because this girl asked me to go with her, before crumbling under my giddiness and confused that she'd been dared to ask out "that happy weirdo senior from the student store" by her friends.
I did end up going, alone, and I danced with thirty different people, which was awesome. For the last month or so of school I was one of the cool kids after being the bookish, mostly-quiet class clown the whole year.
I had two people halfway confess in the last week of school (one guy and one girl), but I'll never know how serious either one was because I had decided that schoolyard romance was just not for me by then.
You can do it Nagisa and you have successfully done it Saki. Big feels all around with a touch of bitter realizations on one side, and just pure sweetness of resolution on the other.
*Imagines Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune setting up a seminar titled something like "The Magic of Magical Girl Duos: The Love in the Power of Love" *
*Imagines Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune setting up a seminar titled something like "The Magic of Magical Girl Duos: The Love in the Power of Love" *
This. I was making a TED Talk joke. I spent longer than necessary (five minutes) trying to find an English word that fit besides Soldier or Superheroine, before deciding to just go with Senshi.
That's more "lehss talk", a single s usually sounds like a z in slang. Lez Talk. Because it's short for lesbian. Which very much has the "z" sound in it.
Pretty Cure would be so amazingly gay if the men in suits would let them. Hopefully someday there'll be a fine example for young girls that it's okay to like girls.
