Lycanthromancer
The Arcane Fuzz
- Location
- USA
I can't find that feat. What's the sourcebook?
Project: Gamer Ver. 2 (Young Justice/Gamer/Multicross OC)
- Thread starter Mister Ficser
- Start date
It hit me yesterday while I was at work that there is a relatively simple answer to mass production, it just doesn't come from DnD.
I was getting back into Palworld a bit which got me thinking about some of the other base-building games I've enjoyed and I remembered a specific workbench from Dragon Quest Builders 2 which, while it takes a bit of time, can automatically produce magical objects so long as it has the materials.
Obviously I can't say 'well, it can do absolutely everything that Al can do!' because that would just be... a mass oversimplification which would defeat the purpose of having Al work on and make things himself.
But for a comparatively straightforward enchantment/ensorcelment? It's going to be slower and less efficient but it does have the benefit of not requiring active attention or focus.
The hows and whys will be looked at in the next chapter, along with the key reason why Al and Co. went with this option instead of the one I was looking at earlier.
Alchemist is downplaying the Fatal Five as mediocre, but he's ignoring the fact that they are niche absolutes who are VERY powerful in those niches.
The Emerald Eye of Ekron is a prototype GL Ring. You know, acknowledged even in the 30th century as the most powerful Weapons in the universe, and Green Lanterns are NOT allowed on Earth for some reason. The Emerald Empress being a skilled assassin on top of that only makes it worse.
The Persuader is a superstrong and highly skilled weapon wielder with an axe that can cut through ANYTHING. It can and has chopped into Kryptonians, killing Superboy in one time paradox event.
A touch of Mano's right hand can disintegrate anything. With one touch, he destroyed his entire homeworld! He's the worst mass murderer of the 30th century! Pissing off someone who can crouch down and destroy the planet you are both standing on does NOT make him mediocre!
Validus is the strongest and most invulnerable creature in the known universe, who can generate lightning storms from his thoughts powerful enough to wipe out cities. He can manhandle Kryptonians and Daxamites with little problem, and has the intelligence of a child with big emotional issues.
The Leader of the group is Tharok, half of whose body is grafted to cyborg parts with 30th century technology. Given how smart some supervillains are with 20th century tech, can you imagine how smart Tharok is, albeit with little emotional control? He can and has given Braniac-5 a run for his money, as he should, and that was without exploiting 30th century weapon tech!
So, the Fatal Five are NOT mediocre. They actually have incredible power in their specialties, and Alchemist is being snarky and insulting. The ones who are mediocre are actually the Legion, whose powers are usually FAR less expansive and powerful than the Fatal Five. Most of the Legion would not survive a run-in with a member of the Fatal Five by themselves, at least not without authorial fiat. Add to this the fact the Five use future tech without qualms, while most of the Legion survives with Legion Flight Rings, suits, and their powers, and yeah, the Fatal Five are monstrously dangerous.
Take any one of the above fighting against someone whose only power is Lightning, and they know it. He's just dead. Magnetism? Yeah. Make two copies of yourself? Uh huh. Intangible? Just how much? Make things cold? Space karate? Psi-shields alone neuter Saturn Girl. Makes things DARK? Bounces around? Grow big? Grow small? Makes things Low Gravity?...
Yeah, teamwork and Brainy's tech is the only thing which gives the Legion an advantage over the Five, that and having Mon-El and/or Superboy around to lean on, in the end.
Note that Al's words about Brainiac-5 are not classic Legion. Brainiac had no problems with his ancestry in the classic stories, he's a wholly balanced Coluan genius. They come from darker eras and canon rewrites, ignoring the fact Brainy is one of the most respected of all the Legionnaires. If he goes bad, its because someone is messing with his head, and ANYONE is vulnerable to that kind of stuff.
The Emerald Eye of Ekron is a prototype GL Ring. You know, acknowledged even in the 30th century as the most powerful Weapons in the universe, and Green Lanterns are NOT allowed on Earth for some reason. The Emerald Empress being a skilled assassin on top of that only makes it worse.
The Persuader is a superstrong and highly skilled weapon wielder with an axe that can cut through ANYTHING. It can and has chopped into Kryptonians, killing Superboy in one time paradox event.
A touch of Mano's right hand can disintegrate anything. With one touch, he destroyed his entire homeworld! He's the worst mass murderer of the 30th century! Pissing off someone who can crouch down and destroy the planet you are both standing on does NOT make him mediocre!
Validus is the strongest and most invulnerable creature in the known universe, who can generate lightning storms from his thoughts powerful enough to wipe out cities. He can manhandle Kryptonians and Daxamites with little problem, and has the intelligence of a child with big emotional issues.
The Leader of the group is Tharok, half of whose body is grafted to cyborg parts with 30th century technology. Given how smart some supervillains are with 20th century tech, can you imagine how smart Tharok is, albeit with little emotional control? He can and has given Braniac-5 a run for his money, as he should, and that was without exploiting 30th century weapon tech!
So, the Fatal Five are NOT mediocre. They actually have incredible power in their specialties, and Alchemist is being snarky and insulting. The ones who are mediocre are actually the Legion, whose powers are usually FAR less expansive and powerful than the Fatal Five. Most of the Legion would not survive a run-in with a member of the Fatal Five by themselves, at least not without authorial fiat. Add to this the fact the Five use future tech without qualms, while most of the Legion survives with Legion Flight Rings, suits, and their powers, and yeah, the Fatal Five are monstrously dangerous.
Take any one of the above fighting against someone whose only power is Lightning, and they know it. He's just dead. Magnetism? Yeah. Make two copies of yourself? Uh huh. Intangible? Just how much? Make things cold? Space karate? Psi-shields alone neuter Saturn Girl. Makes things DARK? Bounces around? Grow big? Grow small? Makes things Low Gravity?...
Yeah, teamwork and Brainy's tech is the only thing which gives the Legion an advantage over the Five, that and having Mon-El and/or Superboy around to lean on, in the end.
Note that Al's words about Brainiac-5 are not classic Legion. Brainiac had no problems with his ancestry in the classic stories, he's a wholly balanced Coluan genius. They come from darker eras and canon rewrites, ignoring the fact Brainy is one of the most respected of all the Legionnaires. If he goes bad, its because someone is messing with his head, and ANYONE is vulnerable to that kind of stuff.
I may have the name wrong. It's the Feat for making massive magical machines with expansive wish-level effects beyond magic items. It's definitely from the Eberron books. The specific example I remember in the Feat description is that making a machine that animates all the dead in a twenty mile radius and draws them together under your control is part of the Feat.
Then again, it could be a high level application of Create Wondrous Item?
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Frescko
King of Silver 🏳️⚧️
With Alchemist being described in appearance differently by different people. I.E a Young Adult, A Late Teenager, A Older Man, ECT. Couldn't that be his Void Dragon nature messing with people, making his appearance what they perceive it to be?
The best example I can think of is the Emperor of Mankind from WH40k how depending on who looked at him you'd get different results. From a Normal tired old man to a Golden God-like Figure, Ect.
The best example I can think of is the Emperor of Mankind from WH40k how depending on who looked at him you'd get different results. From a Normal tired old man to a Golden God-like Figure, Ect.
- Location
- Wisconsin
I think Spyro would probably be good if hanging out with other dragons on a vacation is the goal. The original games not the 'legend of spyro' series. More than a few levels seem like they would be nice places to just hang out and the threats that are present aren't really all that fierce compared to some of the other stuff out there.
- Location
- Oregon, USA
Don't have the books handy, but given it's Eberron, could it be one of the examples for Bind Elemental?
Lycanthromancer
The Arcane Fuzz
- Location
- USA
Watch Alchemist shoot for The Gummi Bears and land in Dark Sun.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Yeah… he totally would do that, sadly.
At least he knows how to fix it?
Lycanthromancer
The Arcane Fuzz
- Location
- USA
A thought occurs. Alchemist finds himself in G4 and facing down Discord. What would happen if he gave Discord the gift of a necklace with an Acorn of Far Travel spell attuned to an aligned plane, such as the Chaotic-Good plane of Arborea? It's a plane literally made of both elemental Chaos and elemental Good. Chaos would sustain him, but it's a gentle chaos, tempered by the goodness of the plane, and he would assuredly be affected by both. He would likely become dependent on the Chaos, while also absorbing the Good inherent to the plane.
Maybe Alchemist really could prove that friendship truly is magic. Literally.
Out of curiosity, how does this compare to Krona's Gauntlet?
This method is too disingenious, the only true method to change discord is to get him to want to change himself, like anyone else.
Chapter 281
Project: Gamer Ver. 2 Alpha Build 2.8.1
Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
_________________________________________________________________________
1/12/2010
Giovanni Zatarra very carefully adjusted the frame he was placing on his wall.
It was an object of pride for him. A hasty decision, fuelled by rage and fury and yet he was satisfied with the results.
The pounding at his front door pulled the smile from his face, however.
With a final sigh of longing, Giovanni gave his prize a final glance before turning towards the entrance of his home. He knew who was hammering at his door.
"-open up you bloody plonker!"
It wasn't as though John Constantine actually knew how to be subtle, after all.
Fixing a wooden smile on to his face, Giovanni opened the door and came face to face with an unfortunately expected sight.
"Took your bloody time, ya did," Constantine growled, the blond shoving his way through the door. "Cold as a witch's tit out there, innit."
"Constantine," Giovanni greeted, his voice conveying how... cross he felt at the English ungentleman that was tracking ice and mud through his halls. "Must you be here?"
"Well, ain't no luck in findin' the 'ouse o' Secrets. Where was I s'posed to go, then?"
"Great Britain, England, the United Kingdom," Giovanni listed off. "A hotel, a motel, a hostel, a cardboard box in a back alley. Hell, if you're looking for some place warm this time of year."
"Aww, come on, mate! 'm startin' to think you don't much care for me," Constantine said as he turned around and sent Giovanni a rogueish grin.
Had Giovanni been a teenage girl with a head injury, he might have found it endearing.
"I don't," was Giovanni's clear and steady response. "As a point of fact, I would prefer you stay on your side of the pond, as it were. And especially keep away from what's left of my family."
Gritting his teeth at the mud staining into Shadowcrest's carpets, Giovanni had to take a deep breath to avoid saying something he shouldn't.
"Well, I'll be out your hair right quick 'en. Just need a li'l pick-me-up 'n I'll be on my way."
Giovanni was about to try and rip into the willfully oblivious blond when he heard someone else knocking on his door. He sent John another acidic glare, one that was fully ignored as the warlock looked through Giovanni's liquor cabinet, before turning to whoever else was coming to ruin his day.
Ripping open the door, he met a rather startled pair of yellow eyes.
"...Hi?" Alchemist offered, uncertainty in his voice.
"...Alchemist," Giovanni greeted, forced cordialness in his voice. "Please, come in."
Alchemist, unlike John, waited until Giovanni had actually stepped aside before he entered. And he even performed a small little trick of magic that cleaned his boots.
Manners. Will wonders never cease?
"Seen you before, ain't I?" John asked, elbow deep into Giovanni's finer spirits.
"Maybe," Alchemist admitted as he stepped into a puddle of ice-melt and froze. Giovanni honestly felt mortified that a decent houseguest actually had to deal with Shadowcrest in such a state. "I didn't really bother learning too many names back when I was homeless and I'll admit I'm a bit face-blind. Who were you supposed to be?"
"...Think I ought to be a bit insulted, mate," John shot back as he plucked a bottle of whisky out of Giovanni's cabinet. A fifty year old bottle that Giovanni had gotten as a wedding present, actually. "That's twice now you've called me a dosser."
"...I have a universal translation spell running and I still have no idea what you just said," Alchemist fired back as he began to snap his fingers and the puddles John left behind disappeared into the ether.
"He's accusing you of calling him homeless," Giovanni answered as he stepped around John and grabbed the bottle out of his hands with a firm glare.
John just sent him a smile, pretending to be sheepish.
Giovanni put his wedding present back in the cabinet and came back with a much, much less meaningful bottle of scotch.
"...Was it rude for me to say that out loud?" Alchemist asked, wiping the smile off of John's face.
It was almost enough for Giovanni to grin at the byplay, especially when he caught the small smirk on Alchemist's face in the reflection off of a bottle.
"Awful rude, mate," John told him, mischief in his voice. "Don't suppose you'd be willing to make it right, would ya?"
"...That depends on what you're asking." Alchemist's voice, however, had lost all traces of humor.
"Not much, not much," John said. "Just need to know if you could help a fella bum a fag."
Giovanni reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. Constantine knew better than to ask for cigarettes using those words outside of England. He could tell the wheeler and dealer was trying to rile Alchemist up.
"Well... if that's what you really want..." Alchemist sounded uncertain for a moment before his visage warped and a fairly evil grin crossed his face as he raised one hand. "Sure, have fun."
"Wut?" Constantine got out just before Alchemist snapped his fingers and John disappeared.
"...Where did you send him?" Giovanni asked as he closed up his liquor cabinet. He'd lock it for good measure but he knew that would just encourage John to break in if he came back.
"The 'Rough and Tumble' on the east end of Gotham."
"...I suppose he was asking for it," Giovanni admitted as a small smile finally spread across his face. "He'll certainly be able to, ah, get what he was 'asking' for there."
It honestly managed to pull a small laugh out of the serious sorcerer. The Rough and Tumble, being Gotham's premier bar catering to the homosexual demographic, was a rather exact fit to John's poor choice of words.
"...Has he been bothering you a lot, lately?" Alchemist asked as he properly stepped into the sitting room of Shadowcrest. Giovanni watched the wizard's eyes track across the various trophies and artifacts before stopping on the newest acquisition. The confusion and surprise clearly drew his interest as Alchemist walked over to examine Giovanni's newest pride and joy.
"Constantly," Giovanni admitted as he stepped over to Alchemist's side and re-examined it himself. "You were quite correct in his pursuit of the House of Secrets. He's convinced he'll find it in Gotham. And he's been making a nuisance of himself after his failures."
"...Would you like a bit of help in keeping him out?" Alchemist asked, his eyes slowly tracking their way across Giovanni's trophy.
"...Are you offering to teach me the spells you would be using?" Giovanni asked in turn.
While he desperately wanted to better secure his home against the likes of Constantine, there were just some things that were not done. And letting another wizard place unknown wards upon one's home was quite high on that list.
"Sure," Alchemist said nonchalantly. "I'd normally ask for something in return but, honestly, frustrating Constantine is its own reward. And spreading around the knowledge on making a Magic Circle Against Evil could help with the whole... Gotham... thing."
...It was surprisingly easy for Giovanni to forget that Alchemist simply did not care if other magicians learned his magic.
"If you want, I can also sanctify the doorknobs and windowlatches around the house, too," Alchemist offered. "Dunno who Constantine's been dealing with but there's a pretty strong... stink? Don't know if that's the right word. I've fought demons that had less hellfire in 'em."
And Shadowcrest actually creaked and groaned in agreement, something Giovanni genuinely had not expected. Whether that was about the wizard's offer, or what he'd said about John, Giovanni could not tell.
"...That would be delightful," Giovanni admitted after a moment of thought, his eyes trailing over the contract he'd written in his ancestor's blood. "But I really must ask; what business did you have with me today?"
"Eh, just some issues in trying to sell some magical trinkets Jinx and I have been making," Alchemist said before waving his hand dismissively. "Got a scalper that bought up all of the stock Jinx made today, and I'm not currently up to casting too many higher level spells after getting sunburns on my soul so I can't help her out on that front. Figured I'd ask for some advice."
...Giovanni now had a significant number of questions.
"But that can wait a bit," Alchemist continued, heedless of Giovanni's confusion as to how one got sunburns on their very soul. "Let's get to work!"
"...Yes." Giovanni just shook his head and grinned ruefully. However confusing or difficult the mage might be, he was still offering his help with no expectation of recompense. "Let's get to it."
It would simply be rude to reject a helping hand that was offered freely, after all.
-----
Zatanna kept her hands huddled inside of her winter coat as she trudged up the too-long path to her front door.
She hated winter. And she hated the snow. It was all gray and slushy and it just soaked into everything and chilled her straight to the bone.
The girl stopped at her front door and froze. Metaphorically.
Something felt... different? Something was definitely off with Shadowcrest.
Backing up and taking a look over the face of the manor, Zatanna tried to piece together whatever was bothering her.
Still dark and spooky, that hadn't changed. Tilting her head to the side, a reflection of light struck the girl and she readjusted to look at whatever was shining in the dull sunlight.
"...Huh," Zatanna mumbled as she examined the latch on one of the windows. It didn't just gleam in the light, it looked like it might have been producing some sort of glow all its own.
...And it was covered in little chisel marks that sort of looked like some kind of script.
The teen briefly debated looking at the other windows but a brisk wind gusted through and rather thoroughly convinced her that it would be a terrible idea. Instead she decided to go back inside. And in a hurry.
Did she pause for a moment at seeing the silver doorknob at the front door?
Sure.
But it was cold and wet outside.
"Hey! Dad?!" Zatanna called as she stepped into the house. The... clean house?
Alright. Shadowcrest was never -filthy- but she was used to seeing cobwebs and dust in the corners. That little bit of... old world flair that her dad really liked.
Now?
The banisters were polished, the floors looked to be freshly mopped and waxed, there wasn't a sign of neglect or age anywhere in the house!
"In the kitchen!" her father's voice called out from deeper into the old house. "Alchemist is visiting!"
"Alright!" Zatanna hollered back as she began to work on shucking off her coat. Hanging up her backpack and slipping off her boots, the girl made her way into the kitchen.
She found Alchemist and her dad hovering over a round table with four legs, one large crystal ball in the middle of the table and then four more smaller crystal balls equidistant from each other on the edges and in between the legs.
On the stove, steam wafted from a large cauldron and Zatanna could swear there were motes of light escaping with the vapors.
"Uh... what's going on?" She asked.
Her father and Alchemist were both huddling over the round table and the girl noted that the outer circle of crystal balls were situated on some sort of track which was actually glowing white in a growing line.
"Alchemist came by to ask for advice in his business venture and he offered to assist in upgrading the protections around Shadowcrest," her dad explained.
Alchemist offered the girl a brief wave but never took his eyes off of the strange table that was in the middle of the kitchen.
"Yeah... I noticed the silver stuff around the entrances of the house," Zatanna said as she got close enough to really look at the strange table. "What is all this?"
The light was slowly, slowly inching its way around the perimeter of the table and the teenage mage noted there were actually a pair of boxes sitting underneath of the whole thing.
"This thing," Alchemist began to explain as he knocked on the glowing table between himself and her dad, "is called a 'Wizard's Workbench'. They come from a really unusual world, a dream that refused to die when it woke up. They're really nifty because they can automatically enchant things so long as a wizard provides materials and performs the spell that it's replicating. Something Giovanni said reminded me about them."
"This is truly the better option than what this fool had been considering," her dad cut in, a mean smirk on his face aimed at Alchemist. "Tracking down a race of magical cat people? Really? And you genuinely thought you could convince them to work for you?"
"Cat people?" Zatanna asked as she slipped around the massive obstacles in the center of the kitchen and opened the fridge. "What? Like cat-girls or something?"
"...Something like that," Alchemist admitted after a second. "I was thinking about inviting your father on an instant quest to try and track down a kind of magical cat-people called 'Katress'. You know how a cat-girl in anime is basically just a human with cat ears, eyes and maybe a tail?"
"...I guess?" Zatanna said, uncertainty in her voice. She actually didn't know, she didn't actually watch anime.
"This would be the opposite of that. Instead of being seventy percent human and maybe thirty percent cat, a Katress is about eighty percent cat and twenty percent human. So paws, whiskers, fur and no mental handicap."
"...Is that some kind of joke about girls?" Zatanna asked as she pulled a bottle of juice out of the fridge.
"It's a joke about anime," Alchemist clarified.
"Regardless," her dad cut in. "It seemed as though going on a grand adventure for the sake of forcing people into employment was a bit too close to slavery and those plans were rather immediately discarded."
"So, you guys figured out that thing instead?" Zatanna asked as she reached up to a cupboard and grabbed a glass.
She couldn't help but notice that even the handles of the cupboards were made of that gleaming, glowing silver now.
What the heck did her dad and Alchemist get up to while she was at school?
"It sort of came up while we were discussing magical traps," Alchemist admitted. "We got to talking about fire and Constantine's name came up, then-"
"John was here?!" Zatanna demanded, forgetting completely about her juice as she turned to look at her dad and Alchemist. "Oh, I can't believe I missed him!"
She didn't miss the strange looks that the older two wizards shared with each other but she couldn't bring herself to care.
The five o'clock shadow, John's deep voice, that confidence... and that accent!
"He... had something going on at the Rough and Tumble," Alchemist sounded unsure as he spoke and he was looking at Giovanni instead of at her.
Which meant he didn't even see the look of absolute heartbreak on Zatanna's face.
"The... Rough and Tumble?" she asked, hoping she'd heard wrong.
Sure, she'd never been there. It was a bar, a place where people would drink or smoke and they had an age limit. One she definitely wasn't going to sneak her way around. And she just didn't have the right kind of equipment, not if the rumors she heard in school were true.
"Yes... Yes!" her dad coughed into his fist before practically shouting the last word. "Yes, he went straight there from here, Zatanna."
"...Oh," Zatanna mumbled as she picked up her glass. "I'm just... gonna go to my room."
"Oh, uh, yes. Alright," her dad cleared his throat again and looked distinctly uncomfortable for a moment. "We've replaced most of the fixtures about the house with sanctified silver, dear. If you feel any discomfort or notice anything unusual, please let one of us know."
"...Sure." Zatanna didn't so much as say goodbye or wave at either of the adults as she left the room. She just felt like there was a yawning hole that had ripped itself wide open in the center of her chest.
Mentally, the poor girl was doing her best to beat herself up as she walked up to her room.
She should have known better, she told herself.
She should have known that she and John would just have different tastes in men.
-----
Alchemist enjoyed a mug of hot chocolate as he and Giovanni both stood in the Zatara patriarch's kitchen and watched the Wizard's Workbench.
Putting the workbench together did take a bit of magical finagling, it wasn't as wonderfully simple as Dragon Quest Builders had made it look, but it was a sort of technical difficulty. A bit tricky but not impossible, not at all.
"...I do hope Zatanna gets over things soon enough," Giovanni said with a quiet sigh. The man had a steaming mug of coffee in his hands as he pondered the magical device Alchemist had assembled. "John's not a bad man, not really, but the way Zatanna's been looking at him recently has been... upsetting."
Giovanni finished his statement by pulling a flask from his pocket and pouring a healthy serving of its contents into his coffee.
"I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on that front," Alchemist said with a shake of his head. "Being in the same city as that man puts my teeth on edge. If not for his own actions then because of everything after him trying to claim his debts."
Giovanni sighed quietly as the magical artifact briefly lit up, the magical progress bar on top completing its course before it restarted.
"...I hate the man," Giovanni admitted, his voice quiet. "I absolutely despise him, Alchemist. Helping the damned fool with his escapades took my wife, took my Sindella from us. My daughter grew up without her mother thanks to that feckless fool!"
"...You looked about ready to have an aneurysm when I turned up," Alchemist observed as he nudged open one of the boxes underneath of the table. It had several sheets of paper inside of it, each one covered in a script that shone with a subtle, golden hue. And a significant amount of broken crystal shards sitting at the opposite end of the box. Bending over, the mage extracted everything before closing the box and opening the one that sat next to it.
It was still mostly full. Housing an old-fashioned ink pen, an inkwell that was now half-empty, most of a ream of paper and a rather significant number of Greater Soul Gems that he'd charged the day before.
Alchemist handed one of the enchanted sheets to Giovanni after closing the lid and standing back up.
The man pursed his lips in thought as he checked over the results that had been produced. Only eight scrolls of Regeneration, with the self-destruct mechanism included. Far less than if he'd been performing the enchanting himself. And significantly slower, too, at five minutes per object compared to the three minutes that he and Jinx could manage.
Holding one paper up to the light to better examine the magic within the enchanted scroll, he also noted that it was significantly weaker. Equal in strength to Regeneration as cast without perks, levels or equipment modifying it.
They would still serve their purpose just fine, they were still perfectly capable of performing as advertised. They were just... less than what Alchemist could put together himself.
"If I could, I would gladly cast Constantine out and into the streets. I had to tell my daughter that her mother died of illness instead of what truly happened to her because of him!" Giovanni admitted after drinking... an especially large amount of Irish coffee. "But the man has the strangest relationship with luck. Any hand turned against him will, almost without fail, meet a rather unfortunate fate in short order."
"Right, right. Riding that 'Synchronicity Wave' or whatever inane bullshit it's named," Alchemist mumbled as he checked over the other six scrolls he had. "He's basically taking a red pen to the book of Destiny and writing 'I win!' but he's not clever enough to do more than a ham-handed bit where he wins and forgets to account for the consequences."
"...There's a name for John's particular brand of insanity?" Giovanni asked as he imitated Alchemist and held the scroll up so that the fading sunlight could filter through it. "I can't say I've ever heard of any force called the 'Synchronicity Wave'."
"I think it was something that only the Laughing Magician is allowed to access," Alchemist explained as he considered the ways he could improve the efficiency of the Wizard's Workbench. "Which sounds like some special snowflake bullshit but I don't think I'm in a position to complain."
Crouching back down, Alchemist re-opened the box of materials and pulled out the inkwell. Removing the lid, he dipped one finger into the thick, viscous fluid. Using that, the mage channeled Create or Destroy Water, a surprisingly flexible spell once it was leveled up a bit, and Fused it with Spellboost: Lock on the inkwell.
The wizard ignored the notice about receiving a dozen duplicates, then, putting the stopper back on the now permanently full bottle, Alchemist returned it to the materials box and then headed over to the sink to wash his hands.
"...I suppose you aren't," Giovanni agreed as Alchemist scrubbed. The ink was already staining his fingers a blotchy purple. "What was the spell you just used? I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the household magics you seem so fond of."
"Create or Destroy Water," Alchemist stated, just barely loud enough to be heard over the faucet. "It's normally low level magic, able to multiply a drop of water into ten gallons or else it can be used to erase the same amount per casting." Alchemist turned off the water, his hand still stained but not terribly so, and continued to speak. "And, while it can't be used to directly multiply things like holy or accursed water, it can be used to create rainfall that carries the properties of whatever water was used as the source... which you can then just recollect in a barrel or something. Anyway, the spell makes up the base for creating an 'everfull' enchantment for non-alchoholic and non-nutritious liquids."
"...Fascinating," Giovanni mumbled as he rolled up the scroll of Regeneration and looked out the window. "I suppose you would be the one responsible for the magical rain we enjoyed in October?"
"Yeah, I-" Alchemist froze momentarily, then turned to look out the window towards Gotham. The skies, while cloudy and miserable, were not raining. And he hadn't noticed. "...That rain was supposed to be permanent."
"Hmm..." Giovanni hummed as Alchemist tapped one wet hand against his opposite forearm. "You would hardly be the first mage to try and do something about the miasma of this city, Alchemist. Failure is nothing to be ashamed of."
"...That's not the part that bothers me," Alchemist admitted before he sighed and seemed to shrink, just a bit. "I'm more upset that I didn't notice my spells being broken. Do you remember when it happened?"
"Oh, Hallowe'en," Giovanni immediately answered. "Quite a few of us noticed when the clouds broke. Jason Blood was practically ecstatic. Apparently, he'd been stuck inside for quite some time because the water would literally burn him."
Alchemist... actually felt a little bit bad about that one. Tormenting a knight from King Arthur's court hadn't been one of his intentions.
"...Did he consider using a raincoat?" Alchemist asked as he cast Haste on the Wizard's Workbench.
The light circling around the top of the device sped up dramatically. It almost had Alchemist chuckling, even in spite of the bad news he was being given.
He'd been wondering how he could possibly use Haste at its full level and he'd finally, finally found something it would actually work on!
"A simple solution?" Giovanni asked, mock outrage in his voice. "For an aged and potent practitioner of Blood's caliber? Perish the thought!"
Alright. That one actually got a grin out of the wizard.
"Well, we'll have to give him one when I get around to re-casting the rain," Alchemist said, a small grin on his face as things... looked to be working themselves out. "I can't say I know everything that's under Gotham but, what I do know about? If I can't find them, I'd be glad to drown them in holy water."
"Hmph. Pragmatic, I suppose," Giovanni begrudgingly agreed before he looked down to his nearly empty mug of coffee, then to the flask he'd been using to refill it.
Outside, at the front door, both men heard someone cursing in British but chose to ignore it. If Constantine found the bare touch of holy-enchanted metal to be painful? Well, that sounded like a Constantine problem.
"That everfull enchantment of yours," Giovanni began to ask as they heard the cursing outside get louder. And angrier. "Would it work to make a flask of kopi luwak coffee that never runs out?"
"...It should," Alchemist admitted after a second of thought. If it were actual food, Alchemist would need to use Create Food and Water. A spell that Alchemist had learned but never mastered after discovering just how bland and tasteless the resulting food actually was. Alcohol would need another spell entirely, Enhance Water, which he'd never taken the time to actually learn. "Do you want to give it a try?"
"Oh, yes," Giovanni agreed as they heard a single, loud epithet from outside followed by a heavy slam against the door. And then John Constantine stomped away, his boots crunching so loudly in the snow that they could hear it from the kitchen inside of Shadowcrest. "That sounds like the kind of magical experiment I absolutely want to see!"
Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
_________________________________________________________________________
1/12/2010
Giovanni Zatarra very carefully adjusted the frame he was placing on his wall.
It was an object of pride for him. A hasty decision, fuelled by rage and fury and yet he was satisfied with the results.
The pounding at his front door pulled the smile from his face, however.
With a final sigh of longing, Giovanni gave his prize a final glance before turning towards the entrance of his home. He knew who was hammering at his door.
"-open up you bloody plonker!"
It wasn't as though John Constantine actually knew how to be subtle, after all.
Fixing a wooden smile on to his face, Giovanni opened the door and came face to face with an unfortunately expected sight.
"Took your bloody time, ya did," Constantine growled, the blond shoving his way through the door. "Cold as a witch's tit out there, innit."
"Constantine," Giovanni greeted, his voice conveying how... cross he felt at the English ungentleman that was tracking ice and mud through his halls. "Must you be here?"
"Well, ain't no luck in findin' the 'ouse o' Secrets. Where was I s'posed to go, then?"
"Great Britain, England, the United Kingdom," Giovanni listed off. "A hotel, a motel, a hostel, a cardboard box in a back alley. Hell, if you're looking for some place warm this time of year."
"Aww, come on, mate! 'm startin' to think you don't much care for me," Constantine said as he turned around and sent Giovanni a rogueish grin.
Had Giovanni been a teenage girl with a head injury, he might have found it endearing.
"I don't," was Giovanni's clear and steady response. "As a point of fact, I would prefer you stay on your side of the pond, as it were. And especially keep away from what's left of my family."
Gritting his teeth at the mud staining into Shadowcrest's carpets, Giovanni had to take a deep breath to avoid saying something he shouldn't.
"Well, I'll be out your hair right quick 'en. Just need a li'l pick-me-up 'n I'll be on my way."
Giovanni was about to try and rip into the willfully oblivious blond when he heard someone else knocking on his door. He sent John another acidic glare, one that was fully ignored as the warlock looked through Giovanni's liquor cabinet, before turning to whoever else was coming to ruin his day.
Ripping open the door, he met a rather startled pair of yellow eyes.
"...Hi?" Alchemist offered, uncertainty in his voice.
"...Alchemist," Giovanni greeted, forced cordialness in his voice. "Please, come in."
Alchemist, unlike John, waited until Giovanni had actually stepped aside before he entered. And he even performed a small little trick of magic that cleaned his boots.
Manners. Will wonders never cease?
"Seen you before, ain't I?" John asked, elbow deep into Giovanni's finer spirits.
"Maybe," Alchemist admitted as he stepped into a puddle of ice-melt and froze. Giovanni honestly felt mortified that a decent houseguest actually had to deal with Shadowcrest in such a state. "I didn't really bother learning too many names back when I was homeless and I'll admit I'm a bit face-blind. Who were you supposed to be?"
"...Think I ought to be a bit insulted, mate," John shot back as he plucked a bottle of whisky out of Giovanni's cabinet. A fifty year old bottle that Giovanni had gotten as a wedding present, actually. "That's twice now you've called me a dosser."
"...I have a universal translation spell running and I still have no idea what you just said," Alchemist fired back as he began to snap his fingers and the puddles John left behind disappeared into the ether.
"He's accusing you of calling him homeless," Giovanni answered as he stepped around John and grabbed the bottle out of his hands with a firm glare.
John just sent him a smile, pretending to be sheepish.
Giovanni put his wedding present back in the cabinet and came back with a much, much less meaningful bottle of scotch.
"...Was it rude for me to say that out loud?" Alchemist asked, wiping the smile off of John's face.
It was almost enough for Giovanni to grin at the byplay, especially when he caught the small smirk on Alchemist's face in the reflection off of a bottle.
"Awful rude, mate," John told him, mischief in his voice. "Don't suppose you'd be willing to make it right, would ya?"
"...That depends on what you're asking." Alchemist's voice, however, had lost all traces of humor.
"Not much, not much," John said. "Just need to know if you could help a fella bum a fag."
Giovanni reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. Constantine knew better than to ask for cigarettes using those words outside of England. He could tell the wheeler and dealer was trying to rile Alchemist up.
"Well... if that's what you really want..." Alchemist sounded uncertain for a moment before his visage warped and a fairly evil grin crossed his face as he raised one hand. "Sure, have fun."
"Wut?" Constantine got out just before Alchemist snapped his fingers and John disappeared.
"...Where did you send him?" Giovanni asked as he closed up his liquor cabinet. He'd lock it for good measure but he knew that would just encourage John to break in if he came back.
"The 'Rough and Tumble' on the east end of Gotham."
"...I suppose he was asking for it," Giovanni admitted as a small smile finally spread across his face. "He'll certainly be able to, ah, get what he was 'asking' for there."
It honestly managed to pull a small laugh out of the serious sorcerer. The Rough and Tumble, being Gotham's premier bar catering to the homosexual demographic, was a rather exact fit to John's poor choice of words.
"...Has he been bothering you a lot, lately?" Alchemist asked as he properly stepped into the sitting room of Shadowcrest. Giovanni watched the wizard's eyes track across the various trophies and artifacts before stopping on the newest acquisition. The confusion and surprise clearly drew his interest as Alchemist walked over to examine Giovanni's newest pride and joy.
"Constantly," Giovanni admitted as he stepped over to Alchemist's side and re-examined it himself. "You were quite correct in his pursuit of the House of Secrets. He's convinced he'll find it in Gotham. And he's been making a nuisance of himself after his failures."
"...Would you like a bit of help in keeping him out?" Alchemist asked, his eyes slowly tracking their way across Giovanni's trophy.
"...Are you offering to teach me the spells you would be using?" Giovanni asked in turn.
While he desperately wanted to better secure his home against the likes of Constantine, there were just some things that were not done. And letting another wizard place unknown wards upon one's home was quite high on that list.
"Sure," Alchemist said nonchalantly. "I'd normally ask for something in return but, honestly, frustrating Constantine is its own reward. And spreading around the knowledge on making a Magic Circle Against Evil could help with the whole... Gotham... thing."
...It was surprisingly easy for Giovanni to forget that Alchemist simply did not care if other magicians learned his magic.
"If you want, I can also sanctify the doorknobs and windowlatches around the house, too," Alchemist offered. "Dunno who Constantine's been dealing with but there's a pretty strong... stink? Don't know if that's the right word. I've fought demons that had less hellfire in 'em."
And Shadowcrest actually creaked and groaned in agreement, something Giovanni genuinely had not expected. Whether that was about the wizard's offer, or what he'd said about John, Giovanni could not tell.
"...That would be delightful," Giovanni admitted after a moment of thought, his eyes trailing over the contract he'd written in his ancestor's blood. "But I really must ask; what business did you have with me today?"
"Eh, just some issues in trying to sell some magical trinkets Jinx and I have been making," Alchemist said before waving his hand dismissively. "Got a scalper that bought up all of the stock Jinx made today, and I'm not currently up to casting too many higher level spells after getting sunburns on my soul so I can't help her out on that front. Figured I'd ask for some advice."
...Giovanni now had a significant number of questions.
"But that can wait a bit," Alchemist continued, heedless of Giovanni's confusion as to how one got sunburns on their very soul. "Let's get to work!"
"...Yes." Giovanni just shook his head and grinned ruefully. However confusing or difficult the mage might be, he was still offering his help with no expectation of recompense. "Let's get to it."
It would simply be rude to reject a helping hand that was offered freely, after all.
-----
Zatanna kept her hands huddled inside of her winter coat as she trudged up the too-long path to her front door.
She hated winter. And she hated the snow. It was all gray and slushy and it just soaked into everything and chilled her straight to the bone.
The girl stopped at her front door and froze. Metaphorically.
Something felt... different? Something was definitely off with Shadowcrest.
Backing up and taking a look over the face of the manor, Zatanna tried to piece together whatever was bothering her.
Still dark and spooky, that hadn't changed. Tilting her head to the side, a reflection of light struck the girl and she readjusted to look at whatever was shining in the dull sunlight.
"...Huh," Zatanna mumbled as she examined the latch on one of the windows. It didn't just gleam in the light, it looked like it might have been producing some sort of glow all its own.
...And it was covered in little chisel marks that sort of looked like some kind of script.
The teen briefly debated looking at the other windows but a brisk wind gusted through and rather thoroughly convinced her that it would be a terrible idea. Instead she decided to go back inside. And in a hurry.
Did she pause for a moment at seeing the silver doorknob at the front door?
Sure.
But it was cold and wet outside.
"Hey! Dad?!" Zatanna called as she stepped into the house. The... clean house?
Alright. Shadowcrest was never -filthy- but she was used to seeing cobwebs and dust in the corners. That little bit of... old world flair that her dad really liked.
Now?
The banisters were polished, the floors looked to be freshly mopped and waxed, there wasn't a sign of neglect or age anywhere in the house!
"In the kitchen!" her father's voice called out from deeper into the old house. "Alchemist is visiting!"
"Alright!" Zatanna hollered back as she began to work on shucking off her coat. Hanging up her backpack and slipping off her boots, the girl made her way into the kitchen.
She found Alchemist and her dad hovering over a round table with four legs, one large crystal ball in the middle of the table and then four more smaller crystal balls equidistant from each other on the edges and in between the legs.
On the stove, steam wafted from a large cauldron and Zatanna could swear there were motes of light escaping with the vapors.
"Uh... what's going on?" She asked.
Her father and Alchemist were both huddling over the round table and the girl noted that the outer circle of crystal balls were situated on some sort of track which was actually glowing white in a growing line.
"Alchemist came by to ask for advice in his business venture and he offered to assist in upgrading the protections around Shadowcrest," her dad explained.
Alchemist offered the girl a brief wave but never took his eyes off of the strange table that was in the middle of the kitchen.
"Yeah... I noticed the silver stuff around the entrances of the house," Zatanna said as she got close enough to really look at the strange table. "What is all this?"
The light was slowly, slowly inching its way around the perimeter of the table and the teenage mage noted there were actually a pair of boxes sitting underneath of the whole thing.
"This thing," Alchemist began to explain as he knocked on the glowing table between himself and her dad, "is called a 'Wizard's Workbench'. They come from a really unusual world, a dream that refused to die when it woke up. They're really nifty because they can automatically enchant things so long as a wizard provides materials and performs the spell that it's replicating. Something Giovanni said reminded me about them."
"This is truly the better option than what this fool had been considering," her dad cut in, a mean smirk on his face aimed at Alchemist. "Tracking down a race of magical cat people? Really? And you genuinely thought you could convince them to work for you?"
"Cat people?" Zatanna asked as she slipped around the massive obstacles in the center of the kitchen and opened the fridge. "What? Like cat-girls or something?"
"...Something like that," Alchemist admitted after a second. "I was thinking about inviting your father on an instant quest to try and track down a kind of magical cat-people called 'Katress'. You know how a cat-girl in anime is basically just a human with cat ears, eyes and maybe a tail?"
"...I guess?" Zatanna said, uncertainty in her voice. She actually didn't know, she didn't actually watch anime.
"This would be the opposite of that. Instead of being seventy percent human and maybe thirty percent cat, a Katress is about eighty percent cat and twenty percent human. So paws, whiskers, fur and no mental handicap."
"...Is that some kind of joke about girls?" Zatanna asked as she pulled a bottle of juice out of the fridge.
"It's a joke about anime," Alchemist clarified.
"Regardless," her dad cut in. "It seemed as though going on a grand adventure for the sake of forcing people into employment was a bit too close to slavery and those plans were rather immediately discarded."
"So, you guys figured out that thing instead?" Zatanna asked as she reached up to a cupboard and grabbed a glass.
She couldn't help but notice that even the handles of the cupboards were made of that gleaming, glowing silver now.
What the heck did her dad and Alchemist get up to while she was at school?
"It sort of came up while we were discussing magical traps," Alchemist admitted. "We got to talking about fire and Constantine's name came up, then-"
"John was here?!" Zatanna demanded, forgetting completely about her juice as she turned to look at her dad and Alchemist. "Oh, I can't believe I missed him!"
She didn't miss the strange looks that the older two wizards shared with each other but she couldn't bring herself to care.
The five o'clock shadow, John's deep voice, that confidence... and that accent!
"He... had something going on at the Rough and Tumble," Alchemist sounded unsure as he spoke and he was looking at Giovanni instead of at her.
Which meant he didn't even see the look of absolute heartbreak on Zatanna's face.
"The... Rough and Tumble?" she asked, hoping she'd heard wrong.
Sure, she'd never been there. It was a bar, a place where people would drink or smoke and they had an age limit. One she definitely wasn't going to sneak her way around. And she just didn't have the right kind of equipment, not if the rumors she heard in school were true.
"Yes... Yes!" her dad coughed into his fist before practically shouting the last word. "Yes, he went straight there from here, Zatanna."
"...Oh," Zatanna mumbled as she picked up her glass. "I'm just... gonna go to my room."
"Oh, uh, yes. Alright," her dad cleared his throat again and looked distinctly uncomfortable for a moment. "We've replaced most of the fixtures about the house with sanctified silver, dear. If you feel any discomfort or notice anything unusual, please let one of us know."
"...Sure." Zatanna didn't so much as say goodbye or wave at either of the adults as she left the room. She just felt like there was a yawning hole that had ripped itself wide open in the center of her chest.
Mentally, the poor girl was doing her best to beat herself up as she walked up to her room.
She should have known better, she told herself.
She should have known that she and John would just have different tastes in men.
-----
Alchemist enjoyed a mug of hot chocolate as he and Giovanni both stood in the Zatara patriarch's kitchen and watched the Wizard's Workbench.
Putting the workbench together did take a bit of magical finagling, it wasn't as wonderfully simple as Dragon Quest Builders had made it look, but it was a sort of technical difficulty. A bit tricky but not impossible, not at all.
"...I do hope Zatanna gets over things soon enough," Giovanni said with a quiet sigh. The man had a steaming mug of coffee in his hands as he pondered the magical device Alchemist had assembled. "John's not a bad man, not really, but the way Zatanna's been looking at him recently has been... upsetting."
Giovanni finished his statement by pulling a flask from his pocket and pouring a healthy serving of its contents into his coffee.
"I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on that front," Alchemist said with a shake of his head. "Being in the same city as that man puts my teeth on edge. If not for his own actions then because of everything after him trying to claim his debts."
Giovanni sighed quietly as the magical artifact briefly lit up, the magical progress bar on top completing its course before it restarted.
"...I hate the man," Giovanni admitted, his voice quiet. "I absolutely despise him, Alchemist. Helping the damned fool with his escapades took my wife, took my Sindella from us. My daughter grew up without her mother thanks to that feckless fool!"
"...You looked about ready to have an aneurysm when I turned up," Alchemist observed as he nudged open one of the boxes underneath of the table. It had several sheets of paper inside of it, each one covered in a script that shone with a subtle, golden hue. And a significant amount of broken crystal shards sitting at the opposite end of the box. Bending over, the mage extracted everything before closing the box and opening the one that sat next to it.
It was still mostly full. Housing an old-fashioned ink pen, an inkwell that was now half-empty, most of a ream of paper and a rather significant number of Greater Soul Gems that he'd charged the day before.
Alchemist handed one of the enchanted sheets to Giovanni after closing the lid and standing back up.
The man pursed his lips in thought as he checked over the results that had been produced. Only eight scrolls of Regeneration, with the self-destruct mechanism included. Far less than if he'd been performing the enchanting himself. And significantly slower, too, at five minutes per object compared to the three minutes that he and Jinx could manage.
Holding one paper up to the light to better examine the magic within the enchanted scroll, he also noted that it was significantly weaker. Equal in strength to Regeneration as cast without perks, levels or equipment modifying it.
They would still serve their purpose just fine, they were still perfectly capable of performing as advertised. They were just... less than what Alchemist could put together himself.
"If I could, I would gladly cast Constantine out and into the streets. I had to tell my daughter that her mother died of illness instead of what truly happened to her because of him!" Giovanni admitted after drinking... an especially large amount of Irish coffee. "But the man has the strangest relationship with luck. Any hand turned against him will, almost without fail, meet a rather unfortunate fate in short order."
"Right, right. Riding that 'Synchronicity Wave' or whatever inane bullshit it's named," Alchemist mumbled as he checked over the other six scrolls he had. "He's basically taking a red pen to the book of Destiny and writing 'I win!' but he's not clever enough to do more than a ham-handed bit where he wins and forgets to account for the consequences."
"...There's a name for John's particular brand of insanity?" Giovanni asked as he imitated Alchemist and held the scroll up so that the fading sunlight could filter through it. "I can't say I've ever heard of any force called the 'Synchronicity Wave'."
"I think it was something that only the Laughing Magician is allowed to access," Alchemist explained as he considered the ways he could improve the efficiency of the Wizard's Workbench. "Which sounds like some special snowflake bullshit but I don't think I'm in a position to complain."
Crouching back down, Alchemist re-opened the box of materials and pulled out the inkwell. Removing the lid, he dipped one finger into the thick, viscous fluid. Using that, the mage channeled Create or Destroy Water, a surprisingly flexible spell once it was leveled up a bit, and Fused it with Spellboost: Lock on the inkwell.
The wizard ignored the notice about receiving a dozen duplicates, then, putting the stopper back on the now permanently full bottle, Alchemist returned it to the materials box and then headed over to the sink to wash his hands.
"...I suppose you aren't," Giovanni agreed as Alchemist scrubbed. The ink was already staining his fingers a blotchy purple. "What was the spell you just used? I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the household magics you seem so fond of."
"Create or Destroy Water," Alchemist stated, just barely loud enough to be heard over the faucet. "It's normally low level magic, able to multiply a drop of water into ten gallons or else it can be used to erase the same amount per casting." Alchemist turned off the water, his hand still stained but not terribly so, and continued to speak. "And, while it can't be used to directly multiply things like holy or accursed water, it can be used to create rainfall that carries the properties of whatever water was used as the source... which you can then just recollect in a barrel or something. Anyway, the spell makes up the base for creating an 'everfull' enchantment for non-alchoholic and non-nutritious liquids."
"...Fascinating," Giovanni mumbled as he rolled up the scroll of Regeneration and looked out the window. "I suppose you would be the one responsible for the magical rain we enjoyed in October?"
"Yeah, I-" Alchemist froze momentarily, then turned to look out the window towards Gotham. The skies, while cloudy and miserable, were not raining. And he hadn't noticed. "...That rain was supposed to be permanent."
"Hmm..." Giovanni hummed as Alchemist tapped one wet hand against his opposite forearm. "You would hardly be the first mage to try and do something about the miasma of this city, Alchemist. Failure is nothing to be ashamed of."
"...That's not the part that bothers me," Alchemist admitted before he sighed and seemed to shrink, just a bit. "I'm more upset that I didn't notice my spells being broken. Do you remember when it happened?"
"Oh, Hallowe'en," Giovanni immediately answered. "Quite a few of us noticed when the clouds broke. Jason Blood was practically ecstatic. Apparently, he'd been stuck inside for quite some time because the water would literally burn him."
Alchemist... actually felt a little bit bad about that one. Tormenting a knight from King Arthur's court hadn't been one of his intentions.
"...Did he consider using a raincoat?" Alchemist asked as he cast Haste on the Wizard's Workbench.
The light circling around the top of the device sped up dramatically. It almost had Alchemist chuckling, even in spite of the bad news he was being given.
He'd been wondering how he could possibly use Haste at its full level and he'd finally, finally found something it would actually work on!
"A simple solution?" Giovanni asked, mock outrage in his voice. "For an aged and potent practitioner of Blood's caliber? Perish the thought!"
Alright. That one actually got a grin out of the wizard.
"Well, we'll have to give him one when I get around to re-casting the rain," Alchemist said, a small grin on his face as things... looked to be working themselves out. "I can't say I know everything that's under Gotham but, what I do know about? If I can't find them, I'd be glad to drown them in holy water."
"Hmph. Pragmatic, I suppose," Giovanni begrudgingly agreed before he looked down to his nearly empty mug of coffee, then to the flask he'd been using to refill it.
Outside, at the front door, both men heard someone cursing in British but chose to ignore it. If Constantine found the bare touch of holy-enchanted metal to be painful? Well, that sounded like a Constantine problem.
"That everfull enchantment of yours," Giovanni began to ask as they heard the cursing outside get louder. And angrier. "Would it work to make a flask of kopi luwak coffee that never runs out?"
"...It should," Alchemist admitted after a second of thought. If it were actual food, Alchemist would need to use Create Food and Water. A spell that Alchemist had learned but never mastered after discovering just how bland and tasteless the resulting food actually was. Alcohol would need another spell entirely, Enhance Water, which he'd never taken the time to actually learn. "Do you want to give it a try?"
"Oh, yes," Giovanni agreed as they heard a single, loud epithet from outside followed by a heavy slam against the door. And then John Constantine stomped away, his boots crunching so loudly in the snow that they could hear it from the kitchen inside of Shadowcrest. "That sounds like the kind of magical experiment I absolutely want to see!"
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- Location
- United States
Poor Zatanna. It's really for the best but she will be so sad for the next few weeks.
- Location
- Here
So at first I thought this could have a bad impact on the local economy when it comes to coffee, but instead I think that it wouldn't have an issue at all because there's more than just the beverage when it comes to enjoying the process of drinking a cup of coffee.
Slight variants in taste based on what you add to it for sweetener or whatever, getting tired of the same exact identical liquid everyday even if you assume that it never gets cold or spoils, and most importantly? The loss of routine.
For some people the act of brewing or going to a specific location every day is part of how they balance and center themselves.
For them coffee is a process and not just a product.
- Location
- South Carolina
I'd love more chapters of Alchemist and Giovanni being Magic Bros, bro-ing it out while getting up to some mild (but very interesting) magical shenaniganry.
"What're we doing tonight, Alchemist?"
"Same thing we do every night, Giovanni... Try to drown Gotham's curses in holy water!"
*KRACK-A-THOOM!*
"What're we doing tonight, Alchemist?"
"Same thing we do every night, Giovanni... Try to drown Gotham's curses in holy water!"
*KRACK-A-THOOM!*
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- Location
- South Carolina
I don't know, how'd you feel if the guy responsible for your wife's death regularly waltzes into your house like he owns the place, and raids your liquor cabinet?
Oh, and the liquor he was trying to get into was your wedding present. Cant forget that.
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- Location
- Nightopia
...hoo, boy, where to start...
Yzarc
The Spark of Madness
Yeah this. Easier to ask why people like him.
- Location
- South Carolina
Pretty sure the only people who like him are in this universe, and that's because we're far enough away from the demonic splash zone that constantly surrounds the guy.
Honestly, several universes away is the closest I'd get to him, just to be safe.
LiamOfOrmonde
67% lewd. Oh my!
- Location
- Florida Sometimes
No Giovani! That's gimmick coffee! Unsatisfying gimmick coffee!
- Location
- United States
But it will now be infinite free gimmick coffee. He won't have to pay crazy mark ups for the gimmick anymore.