Project: Gamer Ver. 2 Alpha Build Sidestory: Spell: Codespeak
Alternative title: The Dude Abides
Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
_________________________________________________________________________
Shrike liked the whole team thing her mom had helped her get situated on.
She did miss Speedy, yeah, but the guy threw a tantrum and left when Artemis had suggested the idea. He seemed to really hate the idea of taking orders from the Justice League...
Or maybe it was just Green Arrow? She really wasn't sure. There seemed to be a whole host of issues there and she didn't know where to start to get them untangled.
"Yo!" Alchemist, that bastard, shouted into the common room. It distracted her from her schoolwork, the significantly more advanced material her new school demanded she complete for proper placement. "I'm not feeling like cookin' tonight. Who wants some O'Shaughnessy's?"
"Sweet!" Robin shouted back.
"I could totally go for a burger." Player One responded. "Can I get a large number two with a root beer?"
Artemis turned around on the couch and saw Alchemist had a notepad open in hand while he stood in the doorway.
"Absolutely can. M'gann?" Alchemist turned slightly to the green-skinned martian, butchering her name. Like usual.
"Uh... Do they have chicken sandwiches?" The redhead fumbled for a moment before continuing when Alchemist nodded to her. "Then I'll take that and, uh, fries? Oh, and a chocolate shake!"
"...I would like a burger and fries." Karen spoke up, softly. "And can I have a lemonade?"
"I'll take a Caesar salad." Artemis finally decided, electing for a more varied option. "With an extra five-piece chicken finger?"
"Got it, got it. Number two with beer, chicken and chocolate, number one with lemons, one knife-salad and a fistful of chicken. Robin, dude?" Alchemist turned slightly towards the boy.
"Dude! Du-dude, sweet." Robin fired back, his words completely unintelligible. "Sweetness, dude."
"Du~ude." Alchemist responded, writing something down on his notepad before turning towards Speedy.
"Sa-weet, dude." The redhead told him, his face serious. "Dude-dude-dude, dood."
"Sweet." Aqualad chimed in before Alchemist could turn to him. "Su-we~et."
"Da-dude." Alchemist nodded, moving on.
Artemis turned to Megan and Penny, her eyes wide in confusion.
"...What the hell is going on?" She asked, hoping one of them could make sense of the dudes and sweets that Kid Flash was rapid-firing at the man.
"I... I have no idea." Megan told her, the Martian's eyes rapidly swapping between. "It's not just what they're saying- They're thinking like this, too!"
"How does that even work?" Penny asked, just as confused as the other girls.
Except maybe Power Girl. Artemis could barely make out heads or tails of that one.
The gaggle of girls turned around as Superboy told Alchemist a single, solid 'Dude' and the mage turned to leave.
"What the heck was that?" Player One asked, her question directed to the room at large. "You guys weren't- You weren't talking! It was just a whole lot of 'Dude' and 'Sweet', that didn't make any sense!"
"What are you talking about?" Robin asked, a subtle grin on his masked face. "It made perfect sense. Alchemist asked what we wanted, we told him."
"No!" Megan denied, poking the Boy Wonder in the chest with one finger. "You didn't tell anyone anything! It was just-just-just two words! Over and over again!"
"Dude?" Kid Flash asked, placing one hand on Robin's shoulder.
"Dude." Robin responded, a small shake of his head.
"Dude?" Speedy didn't quite shout but he had to raise his voice to be heard from across the room. Kid Flash turned and shook his head at the cryogenically stunted boy. "Sweet."
"That's not a language!" Penny shouted, clearly frustrated. "You're just saying 'Dude' and 'Sweet' over and over again!"
"...Girls." Superboy shook his head.
"I know, right?" Robin turned away from Megan and headed over to sit with Superboy and Speedy. "They just don't get it."
"There's nothing to get!" Shrike shouted, more frustrated at being blown off rather than whatever craziness the boys had come up with...
-----
Earlier...
"Alright, so." It had taken some doing but Alchemist had managed to get all of the boys together without the girls finding out. "I've been thinking-"
"Did it hurt?" Kid Flash fired off in an instant.
"Only a little." Alchemist answered before continuing. "I've got access to a spell that will let us all learn to speak a unique, magical language."
"What would be the point of this?" Aqualad asked, leaning forward in his chair and placing his elbows on his knees, his joined hands under his chin.
"Operational security is the excuse I'll be using if it's brought up." Alchemist told him before he brought out a copy of a video.
'Dude, Where's My Car'
"Honestly, though?" Alchemist grinned, mischief in his eyes. "Sometimes, it's just fun to mess with people."
"...I'm in." Robin's expression matched Alchemist's. A worrying sign on a good day.
"Fine." Superboy just seemed disinterested.
Extracting him from his conjoined twin had been a hassle and a half.
"Whatever." And Speedy was equally disinterested, or at least that was how he chose to act.
Kid Flash and Aqualad simply nodded when Alchemist looked at them.
"Alright..." The wizard held a diamond in his palm as he thought on the spell. Codespeak wasn't a complicated spell, he could probably learn it normally...
But he doubted he could convince the boys that he wasn't trying to mess with them if he actually had to use the material components, a rune-inscribed piece of paper placed under the recipients tongues.
The diamond dissolved into ashes as the spell took hold, burning a new language into the minds of those present.
"...Dude." Alchemist brought a hand up to massage his forehead, failing to reach at an ache deep inside of his skull.
"...Sweet." Aqualad agreed, doing the same.