I came up with another omake idea that's a sequel to my first one, I can stop whenever I want no really but it turns out I've
2 + 2 = ?
"...Are you being serious?" Miller grumbled, looking at the laughably easy question on the whiteboard in front of him before turning to face a smirking Ocelot. "You said that you wanted to tell me something about Paz's condition after I submitted that report-"
"We'll get there, but first I need you to answer the question," Ocelot said, surprisingly managing to not sound patronizing.
Miller scoffed. "Fine. Two plus two equals four."
"Wrong."
Miller tilted his head as Ocelot erased the question mark and wrote in five.
2 + 2 = 5
"...What are you getting at?" Miller muttered. Ocelot was many things, but being outright patronizing wasn't usually one of them. "We both know that's objectively wrong."
"I'm not sure I get what you're saying Miller," Ocelot replied. "Two plus two has always equaled five. Just ask any of the other recruits around here and they'll agree with me."
Miller stared at Ocelot, scrutinizing him intensely for any sign of mirth or amusement...but he found none. What was he doing...?
"You can't seriously believe that. If two plus two equals five, then mathematics itself would be rendered useless."
"That's right," Ocelot flatly replied as though it were an obvious truth. Miller raised an eyebrow slightly as he processed what Ocelot was telling him.
"...So you're telling me that you believe that 'two plus two equals four'
and 'two plus two equals five' at the same time?"
"
Now you're starting to get it," Ocelot replied, writing down the "correct" equation below the "incorrect" one.
2 + 2 = 5
2 + 2 = 4
"Intentional cognitive dissonance," Miller said to himself.
"Of a sort. This kind of mental conditioning has a nickname of its own: 'doublethink,'" Ocelot began to explain. "The term came from George Orwell's novel
1984, where the ruling Party would condition the people it ruled over into believing in two contradictory ideas with equal fervor. Namely that 'democracy is evil'
and that 'The Party is a bastion of democracy.'"
"And because people believe in both ideas so strongly they have no reason to question the contradiction itself."
"Exactly," Ocelot replied, erasing the bottom equation and rewriting the top one.
2 + 2 = 4 & 5
"I don't see what this has to do with Paz though," Miller said to Ocelot. "You're implying that she's using doublethink, but that would mean that she's intentionally deceiving us, and every psychologist on Mother Base-"
"Would tell you that she's telling the truth about her amnesia," Ocelot interrupted. "That she can't remember any of her time as 'Pacifica Ocean.' Well, I can tell you right now that they're not wrong...but they're not entirely right either."
Miller nodded, starting to see where Ocelot was going with this. "You're saying that she's using doublethink on a subconscious level."
"That I am."
Miller was fully prepared to believe Ocelot in that regard; if anyone in Diamond Dogs knew what they were talking about when it came to deception and false information, it was him. But there was something missing from this...
"Assuming that is true, what would those contradictory ideas be?" Miller asked. "If she can't remember her time as a Cipher agent, how can she use doublethink to convince herself otherwise? There's no other truth for her to remember."
"And that's the interesting part, isn't it?" Ocelot said as he began to pace around. "You would think that there is no way for her to be able to use doublethink for herself if there aren't two truths for her to actively believe in."
"So what makes you think that she's doing it?"
"Some records from the first Mother Base. I would hope you would be familiar with the cassette diary she kept?"
Miller nodded, before his eyes started to widen as an idea came to him. "The one thing I remember from them is how she started to doubt at the end - if she hadn't gotten the call from Cipher to hijack ZEKE, she might have just turned of her own volition and none of us would have been any the wiser about her original allegiance. You think that she's unconsciously suppressing her memories so that she can stay 'Paz Ortega Andrade'-"
"And make sure that 'Pacifica Ocean' died during the attack on the first Mother Base," Ocelot finished. "Pacifica Ocean is dead. Two plus two equals five. But Paz Ortega Andrade is alive. Two plus two equals four."
"Alright...so what does that mean for the future?"
"What it means is that she will never fully recover unless she's able to realize she's using doublethink like that," Ocelot replied. "Of course, the next question you might ask is:
would she be better off like this?"
Miller frowned, having gone over that exact train of thought many times, especially in recent months. He felt the phantom pain from his arm start to intensify...
"...I'm not so sure," Miller replied after a moment of thought. "Even if she
thinks she's forgotten, I'm certain that she still feels the 'phantom pain' of those missing memories."
Ocelot nodded in agreement. "While it is possible for the human mind to forget less important memories, it's designed to preserve ones that are particularly defining for a person, whether they're positive or negative. Even when people manage to repress particularly traumatic memories, the effects of those events still have a significant impact on their psyche. Think of someone like Eli for example; even if he somehow managed to suppress his memories of being a child soldier there would still be signs of it he would exhibit. An unusual amount of familiarity with firearms despite his age. Abnormally high reflexes from battlefield training. Paranoia as he unconsciously searches for enemies behind every corner. And if he had a superior officer of some kind, he would be unusually compliant when given any orders whatsoever."
"So what then?" Miller asked, growing frustrated at the idea that he couldn't really affect anything. "Going by everything you've told me the only way to heal Paz would be to force her to confront those contradictory ideas, but-"
"You're worried that her mind wouldn't be able to handle the strain."
"...You didn't see the state she was in after we brought her back from Camp Omega," Miller solemnly replied.
"Well, no matter what you or I think this isn't the kind of problem either of us can fix," Ocelot said as he began to erase the equation on the whiteboard with a nearby cloth. "The only hope that girl has for recovering is for the one man who made her want to switch sides to help her see the truth."
"The Boss."
"So if you want to see progress you need to talk to him," Ocelot said, not paying attention to Miller as he set down the now stained cloth and began to walk away. "If things work out, you might get to see one of Diamond Dogs' phantoms finally be put to rest."
AN:
@konamikode Word count: 1138
I ended up taking cues from TPP's cassette tapes here, and I really like how that made things flow here. Also I'm not 100% sure if it's been confirmed Paz is amnesiac in this quest; I went off of the idea from the "conversations" in TPP where that was the case.