So see you tomorrow?It's being worked on. Was planning on releasing last night, but it'll be today.
Edit: I may have underestimated.
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Metal Gear Solid V: Chronicles of Outer Heaven (MGS/Valkyria Chronicles)
- Thread starter konamikode
- Start date
- Sci-Fi Crossover Action Mature
Edit: I may have underestimated.
mako cl
ComissarPancakes
Pan-Galactic Motivational Officer
- Location
- The State of Golden Fires
Right.
So...after waffling over this over work today, I've decided that a little humor (while...ill-fitting to the current situation) might be called for after all. For as much as finance can be humorous at any rate...
Oh, special thanks to Always Late for putting up with my rambling.
Word count: 1457
So...after waffling over this over work today, I've decided that a little humor (while...ill-fitting to the current situation) might be called for after all. For as much as finance can be humorous at any rate...
Oh, special thanks to Always Late for putting up with my rambling.
(Or a transcript of Mako's seminar on finances regarding Mother Base to the FNGs)
[Muffled shuffling and conversations]
"Right, right. Settle down everyone.
Hey! Listen!"
"OY. ASSHOLES."
[Sounds of minute conversations continue to drift through the mic]
"Right…"
[Click]
"One...two...fiv-three.."
[Dink! - BLAM]
"Right, now that I have everyone's attention!
...Oh suck it up. It was a flashbang."
"Okay, everyone's hearing back? Good. Now I know that have your undivided attention, listen up. I know that none of you want to be here, what with finances being an utter bore to you lot but you will LISTEN and UNDERSTAND if you want to see ANY inkling of a paycheck."
[Sounds of a deep inhale/exhale]
"How 'bout we all start over. I am Skittish Mako and I'm pretty much all we have for a finance department proper." [Muffled question]
"...Yes, that is my name. No you cannot ask why."
"Moving along, you all are aware that Mother Base is pretty much an isolated series of platforms in the Seychelles and as su...what do you mean you didn't know. No, nevermind. Go talk to Fourth Platoon after this is done."
"Now as I was saying, Mother Base is isolated from pretty much any country by at least a few hundred miles of sea. In an attempt to simplify logistics and pay, Diamond Dogs uses script for any and all transactions made on the Base; a monetary fiat resource that the command staff and I officially refer to as GMP. You will see a visual representation of a GMP bill on the screen behind me.
No. No I am not going to change it to the Doggo. I...no. I really don't care if it sounds better. Go take it up with Commander Miller if you think so."
"Now, back to GMP. Your paychecks will be doled out via the appropriate amount of GMP you earn. Yes, everyone gets paid in it. It doesn't matter whether you're deployed to the field or whether you work in maintenance. In regards to payment, you may earn GMP via two ways."
"First, should you be deployed onto a mission you will fill out a voucher before hand. I cannot stress this enough. This allows me to know who is or will be on mission in the near future so that I can calculate how much of a cut you get." [Click] "Now here is a visual representation of the voucher, also known as Form V-2, and you will note that it has been signed and dated by both Commander Miller and myself. Do NOT try to forge this. The Commander will know. I will know. And SO HELP YOU GOD IF YOU MESS UP AN-"
[Cough]
"...Excuse me. Oh, yes. A question? Replacement forms are available in the Financial office in the main Command Strut. Yes, I will be handing those out. Commander Miller will be notified to authorize, yes."
"Where were we? Oh, right. Second payment method. Not much to it really, just a regular weekly paycheck. No, you will not receive an actual check. I'm the one that keeps track of the totals.
No, look. Do you know how many people live and work here? Are you suggesting that we should tell 650+ people that they need to report to a tiny basement annex in the Command Strut every two weeks to pick up a piece of paper that I must waste resources to print out so that they can hand back to me anyways? REALLY?
I use a computer. Yes they come that small. It's on my desk. And it is encrypted so no funny ideas. Really.
Okay, you know what? Let me let you in on a little 'secret.' In accordance with advice set forth by the Spooks, I have the thing wired so that any unauthorized attempt at accessing it results in it melting. Meaning that I get to toss the idiot that tried but ended up deleting the pay records and finances of two weeks to not only the Boss and Commander Miller, but also to the rest of the base that just lost their entire paycheck.
Got it? Go-What was that? Yes, you can request a current total on your account. Just come see me. Or call. Whatever works best, really."
"Now, while we're on the topic of missions, we are not going to make you pay for your own supplies. That would be asinine. And potentially piss off Cookie, but that's beside the point.
No, any gear that is not a personalized item will be authorized via Supply. What this means is that in an estimated ordinary procession of events with an expected level of material expenditure, you will not have your pay docked. You will be allowed up to three instances of abnormal consumption over a six month period, with subsequent occurrences subject to audit. So yes, don't worry if you seem to have extraordinary bad luck. We'll take in the circumstances. Remember people, Mother Base foots the bill on these, so keep them to a minimum.
Who does the audit? Myself or Bumblebee. Or Snow Leopardess now that I think about it.
Yes, her. The one that caused Mink to barricaded himself in the medical wing for a week. What was she ta...dude I have no damned clue. Regulations over proper supply restock I think. Either way, there's a good chance if you get on my shit list, you get to deal with her.
No, I do not have any mercy. I'm in FINANCE."
"That is to say if you are found to have wastfully done so on multiple counts, I will personally make sure you pay back ever single GMP you purposefully pissed away. I have ways people! Do not try me."
"Moving on, when deploying on miss-sorry? Speak up please. Oh, oh yes. GMP can be spent on commodities and civilian things. Talk to Supply, they'll sent me the receipt to credit your account for anything you request to have shipped in.
No, I do not keep a running tally on their inventory. No, just fluxuations in costs."
"Right, final thing to keep in mind. When you get sent off onto missions, you can request to have some of your GMP exchanged for the local currency. Again, this can be done at the Financial Office. Just make sure you fill out Form 1062 before hand. Yes, this is one of the reasons why for the voucher. Please keep in mind that we have a finite amount of foreign currency on base at any time. This is mainly to cut down on space. Yes, we generally receive payment from countries via their local currency but Diamond Dogs will often turn that into a more liquid form of asset that can be easily exchanged for another currency."
"I saw a hand in the ba- yes, you."
"Currency exchange rates? Sorry, not off the top of my head, no. I've got a bulletin board that I update right outside the office for that. The rates are also published in the weekly memo in the appendix. You guys will read the memos right? Really guys, all the info you need to know is in there.
Yes, you? Right, come see me if you don't see your native cash on the board. There's only so much room on the thing that I'll have to look it up the more, for a lack of a better term, 'exotic' stuff."
"Yes, diamonds are one of these mediums.
No. No, you may not."
"...Alright, look. Personally, I don't care if you decide to turn every single bit of GMP you earn into diamonds, but hiding them in nooks and crannies around the base is one of the most stupid ideas I've ever heard. I mean really. You are going to 'secure' your hard earned cash the same way a god damned squirrel hides its nuts!
No, I will not insure them in case John McKlepto decides that he likes and wants your shiny rocks."
You listen shit for brai...you know what? You're going on the list. Now sit down and shut up!
[Sounds of a deep inhale/exhale]
"Right, so that's all you need to know about the part financial system that matters to you. The basic portion at least. Any questions? Ah, you in the back."
"No, this is why we asked you to turn in all the currency you had on you when you first got here. Yes, it has already been debit'd to your account. Yes, even you Possum. We counted how much you had on you after your…" [cough] "...'balloon ride' while you were in the brig."
"That it? Good."
"No, you may not talk about Mason. Stop. Asking."
[Muffled shuffling and conversations]
"Right, right. Settle down everyone.
Hey! Listen!"
"OY. ASSHOLES."
[Sounds of minute conversations continue to drift through the mic]
"Right…"
[Click]
"One...two...fiv-three.."
[Dink! - BLAM]
"Right, now that I have everyone's attention!
...Oh suck it up. It was a flashbang."
"Okay, everyone's hearing back? Good. Now I know that have your undivided attention, listen up. I know that none of you want to be here, what with finances being an utter bore to you lot but you will LISTEN and UNDERSTAND if you want to see ANY inkling of a paycheck."
[Sounds of a deep inhale/exhale]
"How 'bout we all start over. I am Skittish Mako and I'm pretty much all we have for a finance department proper." [Muffled question]
"...Yes, that is my name. No you cannot ask why."
"Moving along, you all are aware that Mother Base is pretty much an isolated series of platforms in the Seychelles and as su...what do you mean you didn't know. No, nevermind. Go talk to Fourth Platoon after this is done."
"Now as I was saying, Mother Base is isolated from pretty much any country by at least a few hundred miles of sea. In an attempt to simplify logistics and pay, Diamond Dogs uses script for any and all transactions made on the Base; a monetary fiat resource that the command staff and I officially refer to as GMP. You will see a visual representation of a GMP bill on the screen behind me.
No. No I am not going to change it to the Doggo. I...no. I really don't care if it sounds better. Go take it up with Commander Miller if you think so."
"Now, back to GMP. Your paychecks will be doled out via the appropriate amount of GMP you earn. Yes, everyone gets paid in it. It doesn't matter whether you're deployed to the field or whether you work in maintenance. In regards to payment, you may earn GMP via two ways."
"First, should you be deployed onto a mission you will fill out a voucher before hand. I cannot stress this enough. This allows me to know who is or will be on mission in the near future so that I can calculate how much of a cut you get." [Click] "Now here is a visual representation of the voucher, also known as Form V-2, and you will note that it has been signed and dated by both Commander Miller and myself. Do NOT try to forge this. The Commander will know. I will know. And SO HELP YOU GOD IF YOU MESS UP AN-"
[Cough]
"...Excuse me. Oh, yes. A question? Replacement forms are available in the Financial office in the main Command Strut. Yes, I will be handing those out. Commander Miller will be notified to authorize, yes."
"Where were we? Oh, right. Second payment method. Not much to it really, just a regular weekly paycheck. No, you will not receive an actual check. I'm the one that keeps track of the totals.
No, look. Do you know how many people live and work here? Are you suggesting that we should tell 650+ people that they need to report to a tiny basement annex in the Command Strut every two weeks to pick up a piece of paper that I must waste resources to print out so that they can hand back to me anyways? REALLY?
I use a computer. Yes they come that small. It's on my desk. And it is encrypted so no funny ideas. Really.
Okay, you know what? Let me let you in on a little 'secret.' In accordance with advice set forth by the Spooks, I have the thing wired so that any unauthorized attempt at accessing it results in it melting. Meaning that I get to toss the idiot that tried but ended up deleting the pay records and finances of two weeks to not only the Boss and Commander Miller, but also to the rest of the base that just lost their entire paycheck.
Got it? Go-What was that? Yes, you can request a current total on your account. Just come see me. Or call. Whatever works best, really."
"Now, while we're on the topic of missions, we are not going to make you pay for your own supplies. That would be asinine. And potentially piss off Cookie, but that's beside the point.
No, any gear that is not a personalized item will be authorized via Supply. What this means is that in an estimated ordinary procession of events with an expected level of material expenditure, you will not have your pay docked. You will be allowed up to three instances of abnormal consumption over a six month period, with subsequent occurrences subject to audit. So yes, don't worry if you seem to have extraordinary bad luck. We'll take in the circumstances. Remember people, Mother Base foots the bill on these, so keep them to a minimum.
Who does the audit? Myself or Bumblebee. Or Snow Leopardess now that I think about it.
Yes, her. The one that caused Mink to barricaded himself in the medical wing for a week. What was she ta...dude I have no damned clue. Regulations over proper supply restock I think. Either way, there's a good chance if you get on my shit list, you get to deal with her.
No, I do not have any mercy. I'm in FINANCE."
"That is to say if you are found to have wastfully done so on multiple counts, I will personally make sure you pay back ever single GMP you purposefully pissed away. I have ways people! Do not try me."
"Moving on, when deploying on miss-sorry? Speak up please. Oh, oh yes. GMP can be spent on commodities and civilian things. Talk to Supply, they'll sent me the receipt to credit your account for anything you request to have shipped in.
No, I do not keep a running tally on their inventory. No, just fluxuations in costs."
"Right, final thing to keep in mind. When you get sent off onto missions, you can request to have some of your GMP exchanged for the local currency. Again, this can be done at the Financial Office. Just make sure you fill out Form 1062 before hand. Yes, this is one of the reasons why for the voucher. Please keep in mind that we have a finite amount of foreign currency on base at any time. This is mainly to cut down on space. Yes, we generally receive payment from countries via their local currency but Diamond Dogs will often turn that into a more liquid form of asset that can be easily exchanged for another currency."
"I saw a hand in the ba- yes, you."
"Currency exchange rates? Sorry, not off the top of my head, no. I've got a bulletin board that I update right outside the office for that. The rates are also published in the weekly memo in the appendix. You guys will read the memos right? Really guys, all the info you need to know is in there.
Yes, you? Right, come see me if you don't see your native cash on the board. There's only so much room on the thing that I'll have to look it up the more, for a lack of a better term, 'exotic' stuff."
"Yes, diamonds are one of these mediums.
No. No, you may not."
"...Alright, look. Personally, I don't care if you decide to turn every single bit of GMP you earn into diamonds, but hiding them in nooks and crannies around the base is one of the most stupid ideas I've ever heard. I mean really. You are going to 'secure' your hard earned cash the same way a god damned squirrel hides its nuts!
No, I will not insure them in case John McKlepto decides that he likes and wants your shiny rocks."
You listen shit for brai...you know what? You're going on the list. Now sit down and shut up!
[Sounds of a deep inhale/exhale]
"Right, so that's all you need to know about the part financial system that matters to you. The basic portion at least. Any questions? Ah, you in the back."
"No, this is why we asked you to turn in all the currency you had on you when you first got here. Yes, it has already been debit'd to your account. Yes, even you Possum. We counted how much you had on you after your…" [cough] "...'balloon ride' while you were in the brig."
"That it? Good."
"No, you may not talk about Mason. Stop. Asking."
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Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
Snow: "Please do not confuse this with Form V-2-2. That is the one requesting pre-mission authorization of the on-base ICBMs. And we still don't have conventional warheads for those."
Correction: Take it up with Miller, if you can get to him. And there are people who have... disagreements about the validity of the name change.
And Boss will know. And he will know someone's got enough spare time for CQC training.
*three weeks later*
Huey: "Wow. I never thought I'd be the second most hated person on the base."
But he does make you pay for other things.
Snow: "While the idea of a nation of soldiers is lovely, at the moment we are still a privately owned for-profit security force. That means we need to make money at the end of the day. And while we do not dock your pay, yet, for supply usage, we do know how much each of you is worth in both resource consumption and skill-equivocal pay. And when you exceed value, we need to ensure you do not become a liability to the company and to your fellow soldiers."
*hand raises in back*
"Yes? Oh, of course you're allowed to talk about your paycheck and compare them with others. The idea you shouldn't is just a silly tactic American companies use to make their workers ignorant of how underpaid they a- Mr. Mako, why are you looking at me like that?"
On the screen behind Mako, an image briefly flashed of a paper pamphlet. It read "Diamond Dogs For Dummies, and Otherwise Obtuse Operators."
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Ah, the fun of fiat currency.
Maybe we need to put pictures in them again.
Snow Leopardess' face when.
AWACS Sky Eye
....
- Location
- Everywhere
Monarch Butterfly: Finances people are scary. Remind me not to make any problems with them.
ComissarPancakes
Pan-Galactic Motivational Officer
- Location
- The State of Golden Fires
Mako: Don't remind me... R&D somehow managed to get the Boss to "okay" funding for a project for a payload of nothing but cheese fondue and Carolina Reapers...
Silly Leopardess, the Boss is above petty worries like finance!
*cries*
*cries a LOT*
Mako: Miss Leopardess, mission pay is also added onto the total of the pay so of course the totals will be different.
After the last fiasco with the crayons, that might not be a good idea...
*Skittish Mako will remember that*
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technotemplar
(Sleeping Bear)
- Location
- Texas
Just making the rounds on all the threads I visit a lot, and well Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
On another note can you guys feel it? It's like the world just got a tiny bit brighter.
Edit: Silly me I never got to say what I'm thankful for this year. Well then I'm thankful for @konamikode for making this thread and I'm thankful to all of you who made this thread what it is and what it will be.
To KonamiKode I want to thank you for this thread and I hope that you have a Long and prosperous life.
On another note can you guys feel it? It's like the world just got a tiny bit brighter.
Edit: Silly me I never got to say what I'm thankful for this year. Well then I'm thankful for @konamikode for making this thread and I'm thankful to all of you who made this thread what it is and what it will be.
To KonamiKode I want to thank you for this thread and I hope that you have a Long and prosperous life.
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- Location
- Freedom Land
I'm thankful you guys are all so swell and that old and new could get back together to enjoy each others company. It's great.
Aranfan
Team Plasma Grunt
About the same amount of time the old one did.
At least there's consistency now, I suppose?
It's probably not dead yet.
ComissarPancakes
Pan-Galactic Motivational Officer
- Location
- The State of Golden Fires
I mean, he also said he was breaking in a new keyboard so there probably was something that nixed any writing that first week.
Dream Logic
An offseason swallow
- Location
- In transit
There's a few hundred quotes for this type of situation but let's go with the one that I remember.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons pass, even death itself might one day die..."
Updates will come if and when they do. In the meantime we should all do sensible things.
Like compare quest updates to the slumber of deathless dread gods who's domains lay just beyond our comprehension.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons pass, even death itself might one day die..."
Updates will come if and when they do. In the meantime we should all do sensible things.
Like compare quest updates to the slumber of deathless dread gods who's domains lay just beyond our comprehension.
ComissarPancakes
Pan-Galactic Motivational Officer
- Location
- The State of Golden Fires
...Considering how we've anticipated the Big Stupid Jellyfish attacking Mother Base, this particular quote is quite apt.
Well played, sir.
konamikode
Cooking Harder
Alright, finally in the right frame of mind and not stuck in mental purgatory wondering whether life is real or not. For everyone concerned about quest death, it's understandable, but I just needed a bit of time away to recharge the muse with irl shenanigans.
I'll be writing up commission pieces first and moving between non commissioned updates in between, but Kona is back from his food and psychedelic mushroom filled Thanksgiving
In other news, my first hard cider brewing project is a success with a gallon at about 16 ABV and another half gallon being converted into Applejack :3
I'll be writing up commission pieces first and moving between non commissioned updates in between, but Kona is back from his food and psychedelic mushroom filled Thanksgiving
In other news, my first hard cider brewing project is a success with a gallon at about 16 ABV and another half gallon being converted into Applejack :3
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
Niiiiice. semi unrelated, but now I'm craving Apple Ice Cider. It's good stuff.
konamikode
Cooking Harder
If it's cold enough, you should be able to make a pretty big batch by leaving it outside in the cold. Fun science project :3
that time of year.
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Evillevi
A Pikachu for everything - Shadow Pikachu,2015
so you got kidnapped by the Turkey GobblersAlright, finally in the right frame of mind and not stuck in mental purgatory wondering whether life is real or not. For everyone concerned about quest death, it's understandable, but I just needed a bit of time away to recharge the muse with irl shenanigans.
I'll be writing up commission pieces first and moving between non commissioned updates in between, but Kona is back from his food and psychedelic mushroom filled Thanksgiving
In other news, my first hard cider brewing project is a success with a gallon at about 16 ABV and another half gallon being converted into Applejack :3
- Location
- Anchorage, Alaska
NINJA Turkey Gobblers...in stealth suits.
With cardboard boxes of course!