AN: No, really, thank my patrons for this one. I was only able to work so long on this since I had delicious, quickly-made food to sustain me. Also thank @Sapient_Ham for searching the novel's text to answer a few canon questions I had; that saved me a good bit of time. As always, feedback and comments are appreciated!
"You really do have a serious alcohol problem."
"Hearing that from the black flower addict was pretty rich."
"That doesn't count! I need those!"
"I'd never heard that one before."
"No, really. You don't want to see what happens if I stop eating them."
"Still nothing new."
"...Go sit in time-out."
"And you even transitioned from denial that you had a problem to anger that someone questioned you! You really weren't helping your case any."
~ ~ ~
Lili had felt so confident in Queen Administrator's abilities when she'd first left the Hestia Familia's home. Approaching the sprawling home of the Soma Familia made her question all that. Its watchtowers towered over her like the spines of some great beast, its iron fencing and gates reminiscent of teeth and lips. Those gates were open, now, and Lili had spotted someone rushing inside to warn others of their arrival. Nobody ever reacted like that when Lili returned. At best, they ignored her instead of trying to steal any belongings she brought.
And it wouldn't do for a queen to find someone passed out along her route, would it? Not that Tiona would be tricked; the amazoness could probably smell anyone who'd slept there in weeks. Lili was glad she
couldn't; she was afraid the mere scent of soma would steal her reason away and turn her into just another addict.
Still, there really wasn't anything forcing the Soma Familia to yield Lili. Orario's laws were made for the benefit of its gods, and those gods didn't like being told how to manage their Familia. The Guild was sometimes allowed to punish those who harmed other Familia, but that would actually harm Lili more than it would help her. If the Soma Familia refused to release her, there wasn't really anything Tiona or Queen Administrator could do. The Loki Familia could make their lives difficult, but Soma would just take that out on Lili.
The more she thought about it, the more reasons she recalled for why the Soma Familia might refuse to release her. She knew of the horrible things they did to get enough money for the wine
soma, much of it illegal. With someone else's support, Lili thought she could get at least a few adventurers blacklisted and banned from Orario. Not many, though; she knew some of it happened, but she didn't have
proof. There were only a few specific incidents she could remember in enough detail to get it, and only because the perpetrators were arrogant enough to brag about it.
The only hope she could cling to was the curse Queen Administrator's Spirit had laid upon Ishtar's Familia. Nobody sane or sensible would risk bringing that down upon themselves, least of all Soma. The curse had protected people from their own addictions and the effects of narcotics, if only for a little while. What would it do to those warped by Soma's wine? Even if their freedom was only temporary, how poorly would they view their own past actions? Or was it already too late for them?
The runner from earlier soon exited the Soma's Familia's main building and rushed to greet them. The brown-haired young man had to be relatively new; he hadn't yet developed the sunken-eye appearance of exhaustion that was so common among those who dedicated their lives and deteriorating minds to getting just one more sip of soma.
"Ah, hello? It's Queen Administrator and Amazon, isn't it?" he asked carefully.
His eyes skipped past Lili like she wasn't even there.
Unsurprising. She'd donned her brown Supporter's cloak once more, and to adventurers, that made her just another part of the scenery.
"And Lili, a member of
your own Familia,"
Tiona the Hiryute stressed.
The adventurer started to roll his eyes before remembering who he was speaking with. He quickly turned the motion into a nod of agreement.
"I understand," he lied. "Regardless, our Captain would like to speak with you. Could you follow me, please?"
Tiona blinked, appearing somewhat surprised by this turn of events.
"Inside?" the amazoness asked.
The adventurer gave her an odd look.
"Of course. His office is in there."
Tiona opened her mouth to object again, appeared to think better of it, and shrugged. Inviting friends into the home of a Familia was often reserved for the careless or close allies, it was true. The keen senses of an adventurer could let them learn an awful lot about a Familia's operations from just a glance. The faint smell of alcohol that pervaded the Soma Familia's home would be rather
less faint indoors, Lili knew, and the blood shed by those fighting over Soma's wine would likely linger as well.
Lili soon needed to dismount, but clutched Sable's fur with one hand regardless. Their guide almost looked as though he was going to object to the presence of cats indoors, but took one look at Queen Administrator's expressionless visage and thought better of it. The Friends were even well-trained enough to wipe their paws on the entryway carpet, Lili noticed.
The route was familiar and almost as anxiety-inducing as it always had been. The only difference was that there was nobody to harass her along the way, nobody to examine her to see if she had anything worth stealing and selling to get yet more soma. The apparent extravagance of Soma's home concealed its rotten foundations to casual visitors and hopeful Familia applicants alike. A close inspection would reveal the inadequacies of their decorations: their scratchy red carpets were cheaper than they appeared, and the apparent gold fixtures weren't made from
actual gold at all. Soma's Familia members would've stolen and sold them if they were; Lili had even seen someone breaking apart a chandelier once.
All too soon, she found herself shuffling into the opulent office of the Soma Familia's Captain, Zanis Lustra. Even with others beside her, the room was still massive. She'd long suspected that the sheer size and poor lighting was intended to make others feel very, very small. It worked.
When Lili approached Zanis, he'd always made a show of putting aside some document or another in a silent hint that he had better things to do than to discipline her. There was none of that for his current visitors; his desk was cleared and he deliberately showed every sign of giving them his full attention.
"Tiona Hiryute and Queen Administrator, I assume?" the Soma Captain asked smoothly, his eyes repeatedly wandering to QA's Friends. "It's a pleasure to meet you both. Please, take a seat. I am Zanis Lustra, Captain of this Familia. What business do you have with the Soma Familia? I do hope our little Liliruca hasn't caused you any trouble."
Zanis flashed a too-pleasant smile at Lili that promised punishment if she'd managed to do exactly that. Lili squeezed Sable's fur just a little harder as painful memories surfaced from even such a small action. She loathed Zanis most of all and regularly daydreamed about spreading his ashes in the wind; he was perhaps the only person aside from Soma in a position to truly help her, but he never had. The frequency with which he made things worse showed that he never
would, either.
"We are here to speak with Soma," Queen Administrator answered emotionlessly, not moving toward the offered chairs.
"Any trouble caused by Lili is, and will remain, well within acceptable margins."
…Lili honestly couldn't tell if that was a pointed threat or not. She'd need to ask Hestia later; she didn't want to find out what 'too much trouble' meant. For his part, Zanis paused to parse QA's words before shaking his head with apparent regret.
"I'm afraid that isn't so easy," Zanis said apologetically. "Soma generally supports the Familia through his famous wine and finds lesser affairs tedious. However, I have his utmost confidence; any business you wished to bring him, you can bring to me instead. Given the wonders he can produce, I think we can all see why he thinks his time is better spent there. Would either of you care for a drink?"
Absolutely not. Lili wanted to
escape that horrid drink, not let others fall into the same trap. She doubted he'd be so stupid as to give Tiona superior soma, but Queen Administrator? Her Familia was weak and her Spirit reportedly exhausted. Fortunately, Queen Administrator promptly shook her head and answered for all those present.
"We would not," Queen Administrator tonelessly replied.
"I am told that Soma's lake has too many hunched trees for that to be safe. Lachesis, however, rates it a seven out of ten with further improvement necessary."
Those assembled stopped to stare at the monarch Lili was once again beginning to doubt the sanity of. Lili had never heard of any 'Lachesis;' was that some obscure Spirit or deity from QA's homeland?
It seemingly took several seconds for Queen Administrator to realize that nobody knew what she was talking about. She soon sighed and elaborated.
"Soma's wine appears to be highly addictive to the sapient category known as 'mortals,'" the monarch translated.
"Gods do not experience the same problems. I am not a god, and as I am not, I do not wish to taste it."
Zanis's confusion cleared, the Soma Captain appearing as though he was back on familiar ground.
"But are you not a queen?" Zanis persisted. "Surely you've sampled fine wines before. Could you not manage where your lessers would fall?"
Tiona looked as though she wanted to object to that, but had the self-control to confine herself to a mere glare. Zanis pretended not to notice.
"Most likely," Queen Administrator arrogantly admitted.
"But that is a property of something other than my monarchy. Regardless, I would prefer not to take the chance. I appreciate the offer, but we've come to adopt Lili and would prefer to do so quickly. I do not believe she likes you very much."
You aren't supposed to say that, Administrator! Lili shuffled around so that Sable was between her and the adventurer Queen Administrator had just insulted. However, Zanis dismissed the rudeness with a laugh and a wave of his hand.
"Yes, well, you know how children can be. You tell them 'no' one too many times and they blame you instead of acknowledging fault."
Lili really did want to stab him right then. She'd tried years ago, but he was bigger, faster, and had seemingly been expecting such a thing. It had only earned her a contemptuous pummeling and days without food.
"Regardless," Zanis continued. "Is this 'we' the Loki or Hestia Familia? Last I checked, you and Miss Hiryute were not in the kind of relationship that ends in children. I believe rumor reserves that for you and Miss Wallenstein."
And he even has the nerve to tease them! As though he actually cares about someone other than himself!
Queen Administrator turned to frown at Tiona. The amazoness coughed and looked sheepish.
"Yeah, that's probably at least somewhat my fault. I did goad the others on; sorry. Just run under the assumption that the Hestia Familia wants Lili, would you? The Loki Familia won't be stepping in unless we need to."
Zanis laughed and nodded.
"Simple mischief can often get out of hand, true. As long as Lili agrees to it, I'm sure she and her equipment can be ceded for the fee of half a—"
"No," Queen Administrator bluntly interrupted.
The Soma Familia's Captain paused. Judging by Tiona's expression, she'd also be more comfortable with just paying and being on their way. Lili agreed; she assumed he'd been about to say
'half a million Valis' and she already had that much saved up. The Supporter assumed that having two high-profile adventurers in his office was making Zanis want to appear generous. Gods had paid far more in the past; Apollo, for example, was infamous for paying millions of Valis just for eye-candy. Lili still felt his asking price was absurd, but then again, it wasn't as though Zanis had any practice with letting people go. Nobody else wanted to leave the Soma Familia once they'd had their first taste of Soma's wine.
"I beg your pardon?" Zanis asked politely.
Queen Administrator seemed oblivious to his attempts at amiability and replied in her usual dead tone.
"You are proposing a transfer of funds in exchange for the freedom of one who wishes to escape you. That is the definition of human trafficking, a practice that is illegal in Orario. I will not aid in it."
That's an understatement. Lili doubted the market for it had vanished overnight, but it'd certainly been crippled by the Familia Curse laid by Queen Administrator's Spirit.
While Lili was dwelling on QA's apparent dislike of the practice, Zanis visibly bristled at the accusation. Lili knew better than to think the manipulative bastard actually cared; he believed showing offense would help him, so that was what he would do.
"This is hardly something so crude. We have raised Liliruca, cared for her—"
"Poorly," Queen Administrator interjected.
"—And guided her since she was born into the Soma Familia," Zanis continued doggedly. "The fee is just to compensate our Familia for everything it's already done for her. It is a common practice in Orario, as Miss Hiryute could well tell you."
Lili wanted to stay well out of the discussion, but
that was too outrageous a claim to allow.
"Lili has already given a fortune to the Soma Familia!" Lili objected. "Lili didn't get a Status update or even
food if Lili didn't!"
Even then, her food was often stolen by less productive members of the Familia. She'd been forced to hide money and purchase extra food in disguise just to avoid starvation.
Zanis's expression flickered to something darker in the moment before he covered it with regret. Judging by
Tiona's Hiryute's sudden stiffening, she'd noticed the passing emotion just as well as Lili had.
"Alright," Zanis sighed. "I didn't want to reveal internal problems to outsiders, but it's clear you have an admirable amount of loyalty to someone you just met, Your Highness. I'm afraid the money is actually to pay off our little Liliruca's victims; it seems as though she's been stealing from other adventurers for quite some time and pocketing the proceeds. Is that
truly the kind of person you want in your Familia?"
Queen Administrator barely even waited for Zanis to finish before responding. Lili herself hadn't even had time to grapple with Zanis's accusation; how had he even
known? She'd been careful to wear a different disguise each time! It'd taken her some time to learn how to change her clothes, yet she'd managed even that in time and it wasn't as though most Supporters wore anything different.
"I doubt anyone could prove anything and it is irrelevant even if you could."
Zanis stared blankly at the monarch, apparently not having expected that response. Lili couldn't help but follow his example. How could Queen Administrator
not care? Didn't the saying go 'once a thief, always a thief?' Lili didn't even
regret stealing! All her targets were
adventurers and deserved it!
"Could you repeat that?" Zanis requested, apparently unwilling to believe his ears.
Tiona snickered into one palm, apparently believing her own and finding Zanis's reaction amusing. Lili felt a flicker of perfectly reasonable dislike for how the amazoness was reacting to the situation. Lili's life was not a
game! Yes, she found his confusion a little amusing as well, but she was the victim; she was allowed to find rare bits of joy where she could.
"I doubt anyone could prove anything and it is irrelevant even if you could," Queen Administrator obligingly repeated, then elaborated.
"When deprived of essential resources, it is moral to steal them in order to prevent personal harm. Additionally, if you were aware of such hypothetical activities, benefitted from them, and directly or indirectly encouraged them, then that would make you an accomplice. Do you want the Soma Familia to be associated with theft?"
Zanis's too-pleasant mask was broken by shock. Like Lili herself, it seemed he hadn't actually expected someone to tie her actions to
him. Unfortunately, he was able to transition to mild sorrow without issue.
"I am only trying to warn you," Zanis lied. "We only just found out about Liliruca's crimes, of course. We're deeply sorry our errant member seems to have dragged you so far into her web of lies—"
"We had never spoken when I decided to adopt her," Queen Administrator interrupted.
Zanis blinked, apparently still not yet prepared for Administrator's particular brand of strangeness. In all fairness, neither was Lili. The Supporter was amazed that Hestia seemed to have adapted so quickly.
"What?"
Lili had never seen him surprised so many times in one month, let alone a single conversation. It would probably be fun if they weren't talking wasn't about
her.
"Queen Administrator isn't joking," Tiona confirmed. "Literally snatched fleeing little Lili off the street and began talking about her new sister."
Zanis's eyebrows crept toward the ceiling. Lili distantly wondered if they'd manage to escape his face entirely and make a mad dash for freedom.
"You cannot
possibly be serious."
"Just said she was, didn't I?" Tiona cheerfully replied. "Right outside the Tower of Babel and in front of everyone. Could barely breathe, I was laughing so hard. There's a street full of witnesses who saw it and probably spread word all across Orario by now."
This latest news finally seemed to give Zanis pause. Why, Lili wasn't sure; he'd never before hesitated to risk the Soma Familia's reputation in the name of higher Familia revenue. The only reason the Soma Familia's name wasn't mud was that other adventurers were just as corrupt as they were.
"What did Queen Administrator do in public, exactly?" he asked carefully.
Tiona raised her hands and began checking points off on them.
"Argued about how it didn't count as kidnapping if she was just adopting Lili, promised to help Lili escape from the Soma Familia after Lili loudly expressed her wishes and said nobody cared when she cried, hugged Lili, happily talked about how she'd take good care of her new sibling, and so on. Went on for several minutes, you know? There was a whole thing."
Zanis steepled his fingers and lapsed into a long silence.
"Very well," Zanis finally conceded. "Due to the Hestia Familia's destitution, I suppose we can waive the departure fee. I still believe you are making a mistake. However, if you truly wish to accept a manipulative
thief into your Familia, I suppose that is your prerogative. As your Familia member, any necessary restitution for her crimes will, of course, be your responsibility."
"As previously mentioned, you are unlikely to have proof of any such claims. Attack my new sister's reputation and my Friends will tear you to shreds," Queen Administrator said in what could charitably be called a pleasant tone of voice. To most everyone else, she just sounded happy about threatening murder.
Pleasant and
happy were not supposed to be the same thing.
There was a long pause while both Zanis and Tiona stared at Queen Administrator in shocked silence. Honestly, Lili was surprised it'd taken this long for the threats to start; a Familia Curse would've been a rather massive stick to wave around, yet Queen Administrator hadn't so much as mentioned that possibility. Still hadn't, actually.
"Are you threatening me?" Zanis eventually asked, aghast. "In my own Familia's home, when Orario's laws are on my side, while I am well within earshot of dozens of reinforcements, after I've already agreed to your unreasonable demands, and when I am a higher level than you? Are you truly a queen or merely a brainless thug?"
"She isn't threatening you, exactly," Tiona demurred. "She's just talking about how upset she'd be if someone went and accused her sibling of something she's clearly innocent of. Nothing wrong with that. But since we're apparently discussing our levels: I
am level five, you know."
Queen Administrator sighed.
"Tiona Hiryute, I appreciate the attempted assistance, but please let me threaten this ignorant peasant without interference."
Tiona's hand met her own forehead with an audible clap. Lili could sympathize; hadn't the monarch ever heard of plausible deniability? As long as you could skitter around a deity's questions and tell technical truths, you could make yourself look innocent when you really weren't. Outright admitting it could cause problems later.
"Gods damn it, Administrator, how am
I being the smart one right now?" Tiona groaned.
"You're not as dumb as you like to say you are," Queen Administrator promptly replied before turning her attention back to Zanis's flabbergasted form.
"Unlike monsters, my Friends are perfectly capable of being far stronger than I am without rebelling. My flesh is fragile; theirs is armor. My teeth are small and puny; theirs are sharp and possess a paralytic toxin currently curable only with an Elixir. Friends: Maces."
The tails of the two cats flanking Queen Administrator rapidly stiffened to fluffy brushes. Lili wasn't impressed until a straightened bit of fur scratched the polished wood floor with an audible screech. Zanis started and stared at the gash left behind, his expression unreadable.
"I do not possess a tail, but theirs are made of needles," Queen Administrator concluded.
"Why would a Queen be guarded by something weak? Please learn when to accept a loss, Soma Captain. I am adopting one member when your Familia consists of dozens. You are utterly irrelevant to me after that; I have no intention of pursuing any past slights as long as you refrain from making future ones."
Speak for yourself, Lili thought rebelliously.
"Then why in Heaven's name are you
threatening me?" Zanis demanded. "I've already agreed to waive the fee for Liliruca's departure."
A tiny white form fell from the ceiling and lightly bounced off Zanis's head. The adventurer blinked, looked up at the distant ceiling, and (presumably) tried to figure out where it could've fallen from. Lili had no idea, either. Maybe if a mouse kicked it off a shelf or a spider kept it in its web for a little while…?
~ ~
"I didn't give you popcorn so you could throw it at people!"
"But he was being
annoying! He totally deserved it!"
"…You're the kind of horrible person who throws peanuts at actors, aren't you?"
"Only if they were bad."
~ ~
Queen Administrator dragged their attention away from the odd white
thing by pretending the interruption hadn't occurred at all.
"You were clearly implying you would tell unproven and/or harmful claims of my new sister's alleged crimes," Administrator observed.
"I would consider that an attack on my family. As a Monarch, it is my duty to react to attacks on my family with whatever weapons are available to me. I sought to discourage such an irritating, unnecessary conflict from ever occurring. Meanwhile, threats are a direct and memorable method of dissuasion. Summarized: Once Liliruca Arde is my sister, I have no intention of taking further action against you or the Soma Familia unless you start such an unnecessary battle yourself, presumably from sheer spite. Is this explanation sufficient?"
Zanis drummed his fingers atop his desk for several seconds before sighing and answering.
"I believe it was unnecessary," he lied. "But yes, I can see how you decided on such a crude solution. Very well. I will keep what I know of Liliruca's
'alleged' crimes to myself unless you decide to throw the first stone. Should I die of unclear causes or you take further action against my Familia, then I will no longer hesitate to share what I know. Do we have an agreement?"
Queen Administrator's nodded as soon as he finished speaking.
"Correction: What you believe, not what you know. We will also continue escorting Lili while her Falna is being altered. Apart from that, those terms are acceptable."
No they are not! Wasn't Queen Administrator supposed to help Lili not only get free, but also get revenge? Why was she giving in so soon? If it was because of the threatened fee, Lili would gladly pay that!
Zanis grimaced and looked at the two Friends, oblivious to Lili's growing disgruntlement with the situation.
"I can let you and Miss Hiryute in to see him, but your cats will need to stay here or outside the house. Animals are strictly forbidden inside or near Soma's workshop; it wouldn't do for his wine to be contaminated by animals, would it? That is a policy I could not change even if I wanted to. Miss Hiryute should be more than enough to protect you."
"Understood," Queen Administrator allowed.
After a short delay, Zanis pushed himself upright and began moving toward the doors. He even pointedly walked within striking distance of Queen Administrator and her Friends, a demonstration of confidence that was rather thoroughly undercut by Tiona's giggling. Zanis really wasn't used to people he couldn't push around, it seemed.
The path after was one Lili hadn't traveled in months; she'd refused to pay the monthly quota for a Status update and wasn't allowed to enter Soma's rooms for any other reason. Nobody was. She just hoped the god was in a good mood and would forgive the transgression.
He wasn't. Zanis had barely opened the door when the god spoke up, surrounded by glassware and busy adding strange powders to a wooden bowl.
"Not update time," Soma said shortly, not bothering to look up from his work. "Get out."
"Ah—" Zanis glanced at Queen Administrator and shook his head. "My Lord, Liliruca Arde wishes to leave the Familia. Immediately, if possible."
"I don't c—" Soma began, then blinked and stopped speaking.
The god's movements slowed as he seemingly came to realize what his Captain had said. He carefully put down the wooden bowl of purple liquid he'd been examining and turned to the group he'd considered intruders mere moments before. It took him a moment to find Lili with three others towering over her, but find her he did.
"You want to
leave?" Soma asked, seemingly puzzled by the very idea.
"Since Lili—" Lili began.
Was little.
"She does," Zanis interrupted shortly. "Queen Administrator has offered to take her in and she appears to—"
Soma held up one hand for silence, his eyes still fixed on Lili. The Supporter didn't know what to make of Soma's apparent expression; he'd always appeared as though he didn't care about anything, but now he appeared
interested. Kind, even. She honestly wasn't sure if it was for the benefit of their visitors or if the god truly did find the idea so unthinkable. Perhaps he did; his wine was
terrifying. Even Lili had been enthralled for a time; if adventurers hadn't stolen her rightful shares and allowed her to save up enough for more, she might've become just another mindless thrall.
"I wish to hear it from… Liliruca, wasn't it? Let her speak for herself, Zanis."
"We have already discussed it," the Familia Captain protested. "The rest would merely be a waste of your time. You appointed me to
avoid such delays, did you not?"
"Then you can stop wasting
more time by objecting," Soma rebuked. "This is a matter of my
art, Zanis. Lili, you truly don't wish to have more soma? I should have a few spare bottles laying around. You can have them."
I want them.
The supporter shook her head violently and tried to discard her happy mask. It persisted anyway; something told her that letting it go around enemies would only end badly. And no matter how he was acting, Soma
did still know about his Familia's horrors, Lili knew, and he'd never cared before. It was best to just answer his questions and get away.
"Lili does
not," Lili replied as firmly as she could. "Lili had it when she was first inducted into the Familia and is terrified of what another taste would do."
The god's brow furrowed further, his initial confusion almost completely replaced by interest. Was it because Lili rejected it where all others wanted more? Gods did always seem attracted to new experiences and marvels, certainly, but she thought the effects of his wine were the
point. The bottles they sold outside the Familia weren't half as potent and were, after all, considered
failures.
"I remember that batch," Soma murmured. "Some of my better work, I think. And… yes, there
were others who tried it. How long have you felt like this? Be as precise as possible."
Lili bit down her reflexive answer and tried to cast her memory back. There'd been the overwhelmingly wonderful taste and more happiness than she'd previously felt, of course, but its tantalizing lure had only held her for so long. The aftermath had left her shaken and horrified. She hadn't been that happy when she brought money for her reckless parents, when she'd received the rare piece of candy or extra food, or even when she'd found an unbroken toy horse with flaking paint outside one of Orario's residential districts. The casual cruelty and abuse of adventurers hadn't helped any; one party had almost let her die to a monster and even refused to heal her afterward and the rest weren't much better. She'd only managed to tolerate their actions by clinging to the distant promise of more soma. The massive contrast between what she'd felt while drinking soma and what she'd felt before and afterward eventually left her miserable instead of wanting more.
She'd fled the Soma Familia, then, and had briefly managed to find happiness assisting a pair of elderly flower-sellers. That, too, had faded; adventurers from the Soma Familia found her, ransacked flower shop from greed, and left Lili to return to a pair that no longer welcomed her. She'd been devastated at the time, but Lili understood why they hadn't wanted anything to do with her after that. They didn't need to look at her as though she'd helped the rest of Soma's Familia, though. It hadn't been her fault; she'd just wanted to hide.
"Within months of when Lili first tasted it," Lili said aloud. "It made Lili
too happy and she was left miserable once the effects faded. Lili has avoided it since."
Soma slowly took a seat atop a nearby stool, his distant interest giving way to even more unusual excitement. Lili doubted that emotion could mean anything good for her, but she knew that saying that would just get her in even bigger trouble. Shooting a pleading glance at Queen Administrator and
Tiona Hiryute only earned her a mildly confused frown from QA and an encouraging smile from the amazoness.
"Absence has never stopped any other mortal," Soma persisted. "That was one of the first things I tried. They just wanted it
more."
"She just doesn't appreciate—" Zanis began.
"Leave us, Zanis," Soma interrupted irritably. "I'm
busy and won't ask a third time."
The Soma Captain stared at his god in silent shock, his mouth still hanging open. Eventually, he shook his head and moved out of the room in what likely would've been an angry stomp had he not been around delicate glassware. He tried to leave the heavy door cracked open as he left, Lili noticed, but Tiona soon shut it with one shoulder. It might not entirely prevent eavesdropping, but it'd at least make it a little harder.
"As I was saying," Soma began again. "No other mortal has opposed their baser urges since I first tried to share my better works with them. You don't appear to have properly
appreciated it, either, but rejection is a far different response than any have shown before you. A
better response. Are there any others in the Familia like you?"
Lili immediately shook her head, anger and regret filling her in equal amounts. Even the rare individuals who
didn't try to hurt Lili were still hopelessly addicted to Soma's wine; Soma
knew that and kept giving it to them anyway. How
dare Soma be happy the one time someone rejected his creations?
"Pity," the god sighed. "And it would be cruel to make you try it again. Very well. Sit down so we can get your Falna altered. I would like to continue speaking of this later, but I'll need time to think of more questions."
Lili scampered over with alacrity. She would've been perfectly content to have her Falna updated in silence, but it wasn't to be; she hadn't managed to raise her shirt when Queen Administrator spoke up.
"Why would it be cruel to force Lili to ingest addictive substances when you regularly do so with others?" Queen Administrator asked.
"I could understand your actions if you were solely interested in the resources they contribute, but you appear happy that someone finally resisted conversion."
Please stop talking, Lili wanted to tell her. Being rude to a god was never a good idea; their moods could flip in an instant and they seldom tolerated impudence from mortals.
Soma looked at the monarch as though he'd completely forgotten she existed and could care less about that fact. He didn't even bother to look away from Lili's now-exposed back as he answered.
"It's the difference between taking the goblet themselves and having it forced upon them," Soma answered curtly. "To force it upon her would be barbaric. I don't
make anyone do anything; they take the test of their own will, and they all
fail. I even keep my greater works from the public so they are not caught unaware."
Queen Administrator hesitated long enough for Soma to actually begin updating Lili's Status. The Supporter kept waiting for something to go wrong. Zanis had probably been eavesdropping some; would he barge in and ruin everything?
"While I am here, I am supposed to relay the following from Lachesis: 'Your quarter-assed attempt at a Familia was unbecoming of one who strove for perfection. Your Captain was an annoying ass who shouldn't have been allowed near kids unsupervised and your business practices were disgraceful.' Message ends."
Why are you relaying an insult? Lili wanted to scream. Was the monarch
trying to ruin Lili's chances of escaping?
Contrary to her expectations, however, Soma's tone indicated he was more intrigued than upset, albeit not enough to stop updating and altering Lili's Status.
"Lachesis? The Fate? I hadn't realized she'd descended. Are she and her sisters in Orario?"
Queen Administrator hesitated and, for the first time since Lili had met her, began to
fidget. The stark difference between her impassive expression and nervous actions was rather glaring.
"The Fates are still in Heaven," the monarch admitted.
"I am, approximately, a prophet with one degree of separation."
Then someone Administrator knows talks to Lachesis? That wasn't very prophetic at all. That was just being a normal follower of a prophet. Still, the declaration was enough for Hiryute to raise her eyebrows and look at the monarch with clear interest instead of getting her to
stop talking. Soma also paused his work on Lili's Falna for the briefest of moments before continuing.
"That's against the rules we set up," Soma said dismissively. "You were tricked."
His piece said, he seemingly put Queen Administrator out of his mind and focused on the work ahead of him. Lili waited for the monarch to inevitably object and endanger her freedom
again. It didn't take long.
"Correction: Leaving Heaven or using their powers on the mortal world is against the rules. Mortals are allowed to travel most of the way themselves for the purposes of discussion and guidance. Mortal offerings may also be received even if few continue with such a practice when descended deities walk the land; this can include letters."
Soma was silent for quite some time before replying, his tone uncharacteristically harsh.
"That is
extremely dangerous, child. Who risked their life so I could receive a mere
greeting? I hadn't thought Lachesis to be so careless with mortal lives."
"No lives were risked in the acquisition of her message," Queen Administrator said shortly.
"There are methods you apparently do not know of and I am not supposed to share them. I merely delivered her message."
"She should've delivered such a useless message herself," Soma rudely replied, apparently annoyed. "Get out so I can finish updating Lili's Status in peace."
Finally. Lili would need to ask Hestia if she was allowed to undercut her future Familia Captain; watching the monarch trample over Soma's passing goodwill was
stressful. Lili would hate to see Queen Administrator get them in trouble just because she couldn't tell when she was being rude.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing went wrong. Nobody attacked them as they waited for Lili's Update to be finished; there were none of the bloodstains that indicated someone tried to attack or kidnap QA's Friends; and they didn't even see Zanis on their way out of the building. Tiona was uncharacteristically quiet until they'd left the Soma Familia's mansion, but leave they did. Oddly enough, it seemed as though Lili had stopped smiling the one time she had something worthy of happiness. Queen Administrator truly didn't understand humans sometimes.
At least Host had revealed herself to be even more productive than Queen Administrator had realized. Apparently, she'd managed to make contact with three individuals in Heaven, the '
Fates,' and found them useful enough to relay the occasional message. Host had lapsed back into dreaming afterward, but it was still impressive that she'd managed so much all on her own. She would've had to develop the relevant communications arrays herself, too, which only made Queen Administrator prouder. Host really
was becoming a proper shard.
Tiona soon skipped ahead and began walking backward, her eyes fixed on Queen Administrator's new sibling.
"Right!" Tiona began briskly. "Congratulations on your freedom, Lili! I've been where you are, kinda, so let me fill in the inevitable '
things will go wrong' impression you're probably feeling."
Queen Administrator didn't understand why Tiona felt she needed to humor such thoughts. The Monarch could, with sufficient warning, kill anything that threatened them. End of story. There was no reason to present something as worthy of ruining the good mood Lili should've had, but was currently failing to properly display.
"Anyway," Tiona continued. "I'm pretty sure they're going to say you were misinterpreting things and that their Familia had no idea that you were so miserable. Clear bullshit, I know, but that's life."
This news seemed to shock Lili out of her stupor. The Supporter whipped her head around to glare at the amazoness, her false happiness thoroughly discarded. Queen Administrator tried to expresses happiness to encourage the contrast, but Lili didn't appear to notice and/or care.
"They
beat Lili!" QA's new sister objected.
Tiona shook her head and expressed unhappiness.
Archival note: Unhappiness is 'frowning.'
"I'm not saying your suffering didn't matter, but when it comes to excuses? Three words: '
pain tolerance training.' There are a couple Familia who genuinely believe it helps people survive and they provide cover for all the abusive assholes."
That does sound somewhat sensible, actually. Human pain had clearly transitioned from a mere warning into debilitating dissuasion somewhere along their evolutionary path. Queen Administrator could see the application in non-sapient species, but shouldn't sapients know better? Then again, humans did seem to have a disturbing tendency to avoid their problems until forced to acknowledge them. Perhaps painful pain was a necessity. Queen Administrator still hated feeling it, though, so she'd skip such training and would avoid encouraging others to put her through it.
"What of the starvation?" Administrator asked instead.
"Same deal. What'stheirname, uh, Ares... Rakia! The horribly warlike country off to the west? Anyway, in some parts of Rakia, the children put up for military training are underfed so much that they need to steal to avoid starvation. I don't really get the reason for the
'encouraging theft' part, honestly. But anyway, the main idea is to ensure that hunger doesn't distract them in combat and it supposedly works pretty well. Honestly, I think it's a dumb excuse
here since it's easier to take quick food breaks in the Dungeon than during a big army-battle. It's one Soma can use, though, so I suspect they will."
Queen Administrator tried to make sense of the idea of not merely forcing children to utilize their resources well, but to deliberately deprive them of adequate amounts. It was nonsensical. Perhaps Rakia's frequent warfare was due to lingering bitterness that individuals in other countries could have what they didn't? Instilling the mindset necessary for a given goal seemed like a more sensible reason than the one they publicly provided.
Still, the fact that Tiona could predict enemy plans was in and of itself a sign that her brain was adequately functional and at least average among humans.
"You are not stupid," Queen Administrator told Tiona yet again.
Human memories seemed to require extensive repetition in order for humans to reliably recall them. Even Queen Administrator's attempts at creating archival notes were more wishful thinking than anything else. QA wasn't sure if repetition would help teach someone who rejected a lesson, but she could at least make Tiona understand that QA believed in her abilities.
Tiona frowned and waved one hand into the air.
"That's not
planning or any of that shit. I just enjoy gossip and I've heard similar excuses before. Anyway, uh, I know your Familia is pretty short on cash and all, so do you want
me to buy Lili a puppy or something? It might help. I think Loki already bought a few for those of Ishtar's Familia that we took in. There should still be a few left in the litter."
Lili adopted her falsified smile like it'd never vanished to begin with. Queen Administrator was starting to dislike that expression; why would you signal happiness when you were feeling anything but? It was an excellent way to accidentally provide unhelpful feedback to others and encourage them to do more things that you disliked. An emotionless visage was far safer.
"Lili appreciates that Tiona would think of her, but Lili will already be getting a pet from Queen Administrator."
...Oops? Apparently, there was a downside to casually disseminating secrets to close allies: human communications did not automatically come with specified information permissions. QA would need to be sure that secrets were properly noted as such in future interactions.
Tiona blinked and turned hopeful eyes on the shard-turned-human before her.
"You're giving out Friends now? If so, sign me up; that tail thing was
great. Did you overrule whatever said you weren't allowed to?"
Queen Administrator spent several seconds silently thinking of a sufficiently truthful response. Refusing to outright lie had served her quite well thus far and would likely continue doing so in the future.
"The rules were intended to prevent reckless dissemination and negative attention," Queen Administrator replied eventually.
"Friends are also expensive to grow and bring; they must consume—"
No, she couldn't tell Tiona that they needed a number of Magic Stones. Queen Administrator had already told Aiz that her Friends had never eaten any before.
"—A specific diet toxic to most other creatures or a large number of Magic Stones. The latter is ideal for a combat subtype, but can be understandably difficult to provide."
"So... my question?" Tiona prompted.
Queen Administrator sighed to express exasperation.
"I had not yet finished. Lili is to be family, and is thus easily permitted. Aiz Wallenstein has formally classified me as her student and is apparently considered a master of her specialty; I can excuse her as a :COUSIN:—"
The two humans walking near Administrator simultaneously stumbled and reached for their own heads, involuntary sounds of moderate pain escaping both. Tiona managed to ignore her own pain long enough to catch Lili before QA's new sibling could hit the cobblestones below.
...Oopsie? She'd meant to say that in the purely auditory human-speech, not a bastardized variant of shard-speech.
"What the fuck was that supposed to be?" Tiona groaned, still pressing against her forehead with one hand. "Fucking hell, that feels like someone just pounded a tent stake into my
brain. I mean,
fuck! Don't
do that!"
Lili nodded in silent agreement, both hands still pressing against her own head.
Archival note: Human-adapted shard-speech may be usable as an improvised weapon. Avoid using near allies.
"I apologize. I did not intend to say it like that. However, could you please stop swearing? I may be forbidden future contact if Hestia is like my former parental figure."
"How the fuck do you accidentally—" Tiona hesitated and shook her head. "—Say something about a crystal spire that isn't yours...? Did you just shove a damned memory in my mind? Shit, that'd be pretty cool if it didn't sting like fury."
Queen Administrator paused. That transmission should've been little more than indecipherable noise to normal humans. Tiona's status as a pseudo-pseudo-host may have helped, but Queen Administrator hadn't realized that came with the interpretation structures necessary for understanding. For her to recognize even the idea of an
:AUNT: or
:UNCLE: was at once impressive and baffling.
:MOTHER: couldn't have been planning on converting successful humans to shards, could she? There weren't enough local rewards for intellectual pursuits for that to make sense. Successful adventurers couldn't contribute much more than knowledge of small unit tactics utilizing humanoids.
The more she learned about this experimental world, the less support any of Queen Administrator's ongoing theories received. Confirmation would be slow, too; she likely wouldn't receive it until the experiment was concluded.
"It was the conveyance of an idea, but yes. Again, I apologize for the mistake and am amazed you understood any of it. I meant to say—" QA concentrated on saying it through only Host's original primary communication method.
"—'cousin.'"
Tiona let out a weak chuckle, still rubbing at her forehead with one hand and supporting Lili with the other. For once, the shapeshifter didn't seem to mind the close contact.
Archival note: Pain may render humans more amenable to shows of affection and/or balancing aids. Do not deliberately cause pain lest they be tempted to reciprocate; test when opportunities are provided.
"The betting pool isn't going to be happy... actually, never mind. I don't think that's stopped them before. Seriously though, how the hell do you
accidentally shove an idea in someone's mind? Is that just how people talk where you come from?"
"It is an inferior approximation, but yes. Please refrain from sharing this information with others; it could be problematic."
Tiona flapped one hand in yet another gesture Queen Administrator didn't recognize.
"No complaints there. Am I at least allowed to tell them that you're probably all mages? It's not like you've been subtle about that."
"You may," Queen Administrator allowed.
"However, this permission should not be taken as confirmation. Supplementary: You are not stupid."
The pseudo-pseudo-host let out a weak laugh and started to shake her head, then winded and halted the motion.
"That's basically confirmation, you know. And are you just going to keep saying that until I agree with you? Because you should know I'm more stubborn than that."
"You interrupt or oppose me whenever I attempt a longer explanation and conveying it normally would apparently harm you. Repetition may help you learn."
"That's not the way it works, Administrator."
"You are not arguing as vehemently as you were earlier today."
"Because you just shoved a
dagger in my brain!"
"Understood."
Archival note: Pain may make humanoids more amenable to changes in personal beliefs and/or changes to self-esteem.
"Don't you
'understood' me, I know what you're thinking. It was
not a fucking invitation to go and do it again! I'm saying that's why I'm protesting less, not that I'm agreeing more!"
Archival addendum: Humans may become moderately agitated when considering the idea of using pain to further teaching methods. Avoid implying such in the future.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lili silently seethed as she stepped into the Hestia Familia's underground home, her mask firmly in place. She'd technically achieved her freedom — she doubted it could be this easy and kept waiting for something to inevitably go wrong — but it sounded as though she was back to her original plan of needing to get revenge herself. It wasn't as though Zanis would just leave her alone; she'd seen before what running away got her. She'd thought he might accept a bribe to look the other way, but she hadn't even provided that. All Queen Administrator had done was threaten him and push him around, neither of which were things likely to
encourage him to leave Lili be.
She'd hated Soma for his apathy before, too, and now she was infuriated by his interest. She'd been in his Familia for her entire life and he hadn't taken a second look at her, but as soon as he realized she might be interesting after all, his opinion flipped? How
dare he?
She was grudgingly willing to acknowledge that Tiona might not be entirely deserving of her hatred, though. The amazoness didn't need to warn Lili about the excuses Zanis spewed; Tiona had still previously walked past Lili without caring, but the adventurer at least didn't want to make it worse. When it was convenient for the Hiryute to help, she would. She'd even caught and kept Lili walking after Queen Administrator's...
thing. Lili was still horrified by the idea that the monarch could momentarily incapacitate a first-class adventurer by
accident. Admittedly, Tiona handled it better than Lili did and appeared to be all better by the time they parted ways at the church; Lili still had a slight headache to contend with. She was amazed Administrator
didn't. Was Queen Administrator even human at all? Hestia hadn't exactly said QA's nation had normal humans in it, and she did act rather suspiciously when Lili asked about the magic of their children.
"How would you like to get vengeance upon Zanis?" Queen Administrator abruptly asked, startling Lili out of her brooding.
"What?" Lili asked automatically, still trying to understand what the monarch had just said.
"In what manner would you prefer to get revenge upon Zanis?" Queen Administrator repeated.
"You clearly loathe him. It should be easy to arrange a fatal encounter in the Du—"
"Administrator!" Hestia's muffled voice called from the bathroom, seemingly scandalized. "You are
not offering to kill someone! Do I need to set up some bizarre version of a swear jar? Because I will if you make — ugh, I do, don't I? I'll go find something tomorrow..."
Lili blinked and tuned out the exasperated goddess. The Supporter really had thought that Queen Administrator would be satisfied with the non-aggression pact they'd agreed to. The only person left unhappy about it seemed to be Lili herself.
"Lili thought everyone but her was happy with the truce. Why would Queen Administrator want to break it?"
"One moment, please," QA said, then raised her voice to respond to Hestia.
"I do not know what that is. Summary: Lili has been freed from Soma. His captain, Zanis... last name cannot be recalled, but he appears to be both spiteful and greedy. The temporary truce between us is likely to be broken as soon as their Familia deems it advantageous to do so. Tiona believes they have an excuse for their behavior that Orario will largely find acceptable. Soma is unwilling to accept constructive feedback. Soma appeared pleased that Lili was not addicted to his product. Lili innocently revealed the fact that I will be making a Friend for her; I managed an excuse before it could become problematic. I accidentally spoke to Tiona and Lili in a manner that hurt their brains. It may be worth attempting to weaponize this ability. Summary ends."
Briefing delivered, Queen Administrator rotated her neck to look back down at Lili.
"One: he hurt you and you want to hurt him in return," Queen Administrator explained.
"Two-A: I do not believe him to be intelligent enough to maintain the Soma Familia's current state forever; it is likely that he will lose power eventually. When he does, I believe he will harm as many people as possible in his death throes. Two-B: That assumes he does not betray us immediately, which his personality type seems compatible with. Three: His reaction to the public nature of your declaration indicates that he has a potentially viable damage control scheme in mind. We should undercut that plan with damage he hadn't planned for. Four: I dislike how quickly Soma dismissed Lachesis's well-intended advice. He appeared to be well aware that the caustic wording poorly concealed genuine concern. Five: Their god knows of your transformation spell. He may have shared this information with others. Six: Assassinations are easy. Interpersonal interactions are harder."
Hestia slipped out of the bathroom with her arms crossed and an expression that couldn't decide whether it wanted to be exasperated or stern.
"Do I really need to start teaching you about politics just so you stop trying to kill people as your first solution?" Hestia grumbled. "Honestly, I was already going to tell Hephaestus about them. She has a lot of people beholden to her and she can get a lot of people to stop buying soma in a short period of time. It might not satisfy you as much, but it has the advantage of being both moral and legal."
That would just make them hate Lili
more, she knew. Queen Administrator had the right idea; people died in the Dungeon all the time. The only problem was that Zanis seldom entered the dungeon and focused more on managing the Familia. Or at least, Lili thought so. That might've just been a rumor he spread so people didn't try to ambush him down there. She
hoped it was a rumor he spread, even.
"More weapons are always welcome," Queen Administrator allowed.
"If you can present a non-violent plan that satisfies Lili's requirements, it would be welcome. A mere embargo is insufficient."
No such plan exists. Soma's Familia could recover from a boycott and come back angrier and more spiteful than ever. Lili wouldn't feel safe until their estate was gone and their horrid god returned to Heaven.
'Weapon,' Hestia silently mouthed, her eyes widening.
"If you count something like that as a weapon," Hestia began hopefully. "Did you maybe mean a whistle when you talked about arming babies...?"
Queen Administrator appeared to consider this idea.
"Closer to primed crossbows," the monarch admitted.
Hestia's hope died a painful death, the goddess hanging her head in apparent despair.
"And just for a moment, I'd thought your country might've been somewhat sane," Hestia quietly mourned.
"Silly me. That's worse than a knife."
"We are perfectly sane," Queen Administrator protested, then stopped and appeared to think better of it.
"Addendum: Most of us are sane, and we are far less irrational on average."
Hestia's head snapped back up, the goddess appearing infuriated by the mere claim. Lili resisted the urge to hide behind Queen Administrator; the Supporter was not a
child.
"You
arm your children and experiment on each other! That is not anything
approaching reasonable!"
"The benefits far outweigh the downsides. It also makes sense in context," Queen Administrator deflected.
"And doesn't Lili require additional actions before she is considered a member of our Familia?"
Hestia shot Queen Administrator a look that promised further arguments in the future, then transitioned to a kindly smile for Lili's benefit.
"I am
so sorry," Hestia apologized sheepishly. "Administrator's people seem to have a whole book's worth of issues
. You'll get used to it."
Lili felt she was already approaching that point. The baby-crossbows, Friends, and painful speaking were all weird, but since 'normal' was dictated by
adventurers, she'd welcome every little difference she could uncover. Having someone willing to help with her revenge was nice, too; she'd always been worried to even speak of it aloud, but it looked like she could collaboratively plan with Administrator without fear of censure.
"Ah, just to confirm,
do you want to join our Familia?" Hestia asked anxiously. "You don't need to; anyone can update your Status now and we're rather poor at the moment. Even if you don't join us, you can still stay for a few days until you find one you like and you can keep whatever Friend Queen Administrator makes for you."
Lili looked at the cushion hiding Queen Administrator's sketches, panned her gaze to the smile just as fake as Lili's own mask, and made her decision.
"Lili would still like to join, please!"
Several minutes later, Lili was stuck wondering why Hestia was whimpering. She knew her Status wasn't much to look at, but it wasn't
that bad, was it? Queen Administrator's had to be even worse; Aiz Wallenstein might be training her, but QA had reportedly only gone into the Dungeon twice. Even if Queen Administrator was growing as quickly as the Sword Princess herself had, QA would still be far weaker than Lili.
Her confusion only switched targets when Hestia passed the Supporter a sheet of parchment with a longer Status than Lili had expected. She'd had her Status updated not even two hours prior and she certainly hadn't possessed a second skill back then. She hadn't done anything worthy of one in the time since, either; how could she have gotten what looked to be the perfect Supporter's skill with so little excelia to help create it?
Liliruca Arde
Lv. 1
Strength: I 42
Endurance: I 42
Dexterity: H 142
Agility: G 284
Magic: F 320
Magic:
Cinder Ella: Transformation magic. Allows the user to assume an envisioned shape at time of casting. Indistinct imagery will cause the magic to fail; imitation is recommended.
"Your scars are mine. My scars are mine."
"Stroke of midnight's bell."
Skills:
Artel Assist: Automatically increases effective abilities when carried weight exceeds a certain threshold. Amount of assistance is proportional to weight carried.
Terpsichorus: Grants additional ability growth based on benefits provided to teammates and the growth of those teammates. Additionally, provides immunity to foreign mind-affecting effects; this second function may be partially suppressed by the user, but it will still reject divine influence.
The world is cruel and life is short,
Let this be a sibling's retort.
"Administrator, you get your royal butt over here right this instant! And get Taylor's attention if you can!"
