Chapter 36: Peeved Proxy Pulse
- Location
- A single human dimension
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Special thanks to @saganatsu, @DB_Explorer, @fictionfan, @Adephagia, @orchamus, @Just_A_Knight, Mr. Silver, @DaGeek247, @ChaoticSky, and my sixteen other patrons not mentioned here. An extremely enthusiastic "Thank you" to @Torgamous for her patronage as well.
Beta-read by @Vebyast and @Nachtigall
Beta-read by @Vebyast and @Nachtigall
~ ~ ~
Hestia had vaguely known that mortal Seers often met with tragedy, but she hadn't realized what the cause frequently was. Specifically, the gods themselves. Hestia was aware that other deities could be remarkably petty, although she'd assumed it was a case of having good people and bad people. Instead, it seemed that a number of even those she liked and thought relatively responsible, such as Artemis, could be disproportionately harsh when in a bad mood.
And then there was Hera. Hestia had known the Goddess of Marriage could be a bit overprotective of Zeus, but it seemed as though her wrath extended much farther than that. The gods Hestia originally considered evil were fond of watching their handiwork, which saved others from their wrath until they got bored or the cursed person or persons died. Hera, though? She seemed to follow the overconfident crossbowman's philosophy of fire-and-forget. Hera might not take as much joy from the action as most evil gods, yet that seemed to let the Goddess of Marriage distribute a downright absurd number of curses. The historical tales of Seers predating the Falna's creation only reinforced that impression. Hestia was half convinced that Hera simply loathed Seers in general; the Goddess of Marriage certainly seemed fond of doing terrible things to them, especially if Zeus even glanced in their general direction.
…And in the midst of Melpomene's prayers, divinity saw fit to notice her once more. However, it was not Lord Zeus who appeared. Instead, Lady Hera manifested before the Seer and spoke in a voice filled with wroth.
"As you are so fond of singing of tragedy, it seems only fair that I should provide you with material. Your visions shall be filled with all the hardship and horrors your songs fail to prevent; this I decree, and so shall it be."
In the wake of the Goddess's words, Melpomene's visions twisted to those of slaughter and suffering. And so it was that the Seer of Song became the Seer of Tragedy, and those who formerly attended her performances instead chose to avoid the horrifying tales they depicted.
Hestia flipped the book of tales shut and held her head in both hands. She shouldn't have tried to learn why Administrator and Taylor's shared skills had such strange names. The Goddess of the Hearth no longer even wanted to find out who or what Terpsichore had been. Seers high-profile enough to be remembered by name seldom seemed to survive past their mid-twenties.
At least Hestia had a slightly better idea of how to help fix her children, right…? Maybe. Okay, not really. Aside from their condition, there didn't seem to be any curse following her children around — aside from maybe whoever had caused the Monster Mansion, anyway, but Administrator's Friends seemed to have their creator's protection well in hand. Some might even consider Administrator to be too well defended. Adventurers needed to exceed their former limits in order to increase their level, a state of affairs that Hestia simply couldn't see Administrator managing. Taylor might, but a featless rank-up would cause its own share of problems.
Still, at least Administrator's problems were something that Hestia thought she could handle. The Goddess of the Hearth didn't even know where to start with little Lili; the new murder jar might work for getting Administrator to stop considering it, but a false-smile or self-deprecation jar wouldn't do anything to Lili. The problem was blatant and the consequences for failure were severe; Hestia wasn't sure she could fix such things on her own.
Well, that's what friends are for, right?
Hestia didn't actually blame her children for having tragic backgrounds, but she might've already reached her limit for helping them. Hopefully, the next member of her Familia would be someone who could help rather than present more problems.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pulse, the Dungeon's agent tasked with locating the Other, slowly found herself transitioning from annoyance to resentment. The other defenders had yet to cease their attacks on her person and the latest assault had ripped the outermost covering that Pulse had so painstakingly stolen and cleaned of defender blood. Even the portions which survived proved to be less useful than anticipated; the extra cloth floated behind her and provided easy grips for teeth, claws, horns, and spiky spines. She would need to find a way to pin the extra portions to her body at some point or otherwise find a way to ensure they stopped providing such easy targets.
She was also fairly confident that she needed more coverings to properly blend into the populace; a 'tunic' alone likely wouldn't suffice, especially now that she'd lost her stolen 'cloak.' Foot-protectors may or may not be necessary. However, she was rapidly reaching the point where she simply didn't care. Unlike some defenders, her form was not designed to function without rest periods and she had yet to manage one uninterrupted. One of the only things keeping Pulse functional was the background melody provided by the Sirens trying to kill her; she was immune to the rest-forcing effects and merely found it pleasant. Still, her growing exhaustion seemed to have negative effects on physical coordination, sensory interpretation, personal temperature perception, reflexes, speed, speed of thought, and miscellaneous other cumulative effects. It was highly unpleasant.
If the Other wasn't worth all the trouble, Pulse would probably imprison and/or exterminate them out of sheer spite. She realized that wasn't supposed to be her decision to make, but she no longer cared. If the Dungeon wanted her full obedience, then it should've at least let her have rest breaks between attacks. What was the point of existence if one was too busy fending off recurring foes to learn about new subjects?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lili, Queen Administrator noticed, had taken to front-line combat with remarkable ease and effectiveness. The goblins and kobolds they were fighting often unbalanced themselves by trying to attack targets out of reach. Lili, with Aiz's urging, had taken to removing offending limbs with an Aiz-donated battleaxe after dodging away from such blows. However, the Supporter didn't seem very happy about her participation and had only been willing to enter combat when linked to Sir Kara via Queen Administrator's 'spell.'
"Lili still thinks this isn't a very good idea!" QA's new sibling complained, displaying likely-genuine displeasure. "Lili will still need to remove the Monster Cores after this!"
Queen Administrator idly threw another knife at the closest goblin while keeping the majority of her attention on Lili's weapon and backpack. Queen Administrator didn't have the full simulator access necessary for proper verification, yet she remained confident that objects carried by Lili were not acting as they should. The Supporter appeared to be capable of hanging from her back an amount of material that significantly exceeded her own mass. Leaning slightly forward should not be anywhere near enough to stop Lili from toppling backward. Aiz and Lili had both dismissed the interaction as "Adventurer's stability;" local knowledge of physics was insufficient for QA to properly explain why the anomaly was a blatant sign of intervention. Among other problems, Queen Administrator often needed to explain to Newborns that the world was fragile and would tear if excessive force was applied to it.
"Incorrect. Sir Kara and Lady Sable can simply devour these weaklings. Collection will occur on the higher floors and with enemies you likely should not be practicing against."
"Lower floors," Aiz corrected absentmindedly.
The veteran's hands were occupied with petting her new Friend, 'Felicity,' while she kept her eyes responsibly fixed on Lili. Queen Administrator felt that the supplementary attention was unnecessary; with her spell active, they would be aware if Lili stumbled or tried to block a blow she lacked the strength for. Felicity herself was accomplishing the task she was originally created for: getting Aiz to stop staring longingly at QA's other Friends. Now any such glances seemed to be anticipatory and preceded Aiz audibly administering affection and cuddling to Felicity.
The current Dungeon raid was going slower than the previous occasion. However, it was intended as an educational activity and Lili's complaints seemed to be based more in fear of other people than the monsters themselves. The present time investment would likely yield significant gains in the future.
Queen Administrator hoped that Hestia's day was proving to be similarly productive. Now that Hestia no longer had daily duties to complete, the shard didn't know what Queen Administrator and Host's replacement parental unit would do. Gathering knowledge from books? The goddess had seemed quite fond of them.
~ ~ ~
Hestia laid atop one of Hephaestus's couches and watched her escort bird-Friends zip around the room. Creatures that colorful should not be capable of injecting venom into their enemies and condemning them to a slow death, she felt. It just wasn't the way things were supposed to be.
…Snakes didn't count.
Hephaestus was continuing to review a giant ledger in what the Goddess of the Hearth suspected to be a veiled message: I'm busy; why aren't you? Hestia didn't particularly resent the implication. If not for Aiz essentially becoming Hestia's employer, then such frequent visits would mean that Hestia was neglecting her day-job.
After several minutes, the Divine Smith sighed, placed a bookmark between the pages, and flipped the tome closed.
"Congratulations on your second child," Hephaestus said aloud. "However, you should know that you can't just drop everything whenever you adopt another. I've heard you haven't been at work the last few days; you wouldn't be placing all the responsibility on your new children, would you?"
Hestia shook her head furiously and halfheartedly glared at the Goddess of the Forge. Thanks to Hephaestus, Hestia couldn't enjoy being lazy.
"Aiz Wallenstein is paying me an absurd amount to make her a basket of treats twice a day," Hestia relayed grumpily. "Besides, you've corrupted me; I can't lay around without getting bored or thinking of how I could be helping Administrator and Lili. They're the reason I'm here, actually."
Hephaestus raised an eyebrow. The scrunching of her forehead hinted at it being both eyebrows, but one of them was hidden behind her usual eyepatch. It really was too bad that nearly everyone thought Hephaestus's hidden eye was terrifying; Hestia seldom liked it when people had to hide who they were. Yes, forges could be dangerous and should be treated with caution, but it wasn't fair for that aspect of them to be reflected on their goddess.
"Oh?" Hephaestus asked sweetly. "And here I was thinking that you had the Loki Familia for that."
Hestia's forehead furrowed. The reason I'm—oh. To take care of them.
"Mmmmrrr, now you're just being mean," Hestia halfheartedly complained. "It's not as though I forgot everything you did to help without suborning my Familia. Administrator just seems incapable of going one day without attracting attention."
Hephaestus smiled teasingly—apparently, she'd only intended to tease instead of being mad?—and gestured to Hestia with one hand.
"A trait she shares with her goddess," Hephaestus mused. "Half the rumors I heard at lunch were about you, actually."
Hestia sighed and buried her face in Hephaestus's cushions. Seeing the rainbow hummingbirds silently flit about was making her uneasy. She kept thinking they were going to knock objects off shelves only for them to deftly investigate the area around said objects. Probably looking for hidden monsters or eavesdropping holes, I suppose.
"It's about Aiz's new kitten, isn't it?" Hestia asked, dreading the answer. Good excuse or not, she expected to spend days explaining that Administrator and Aiz were neither engaged nor related.
There was a conspicuously long pause. Hestia had the sinking feeling that the city somehow had yet to learn of the new kitten.
"I actually hadn't heard anything about that," Hephaestus admitted. "Is it one of the Spirit-blessed 'Friends?'"
"Yes," Hestia answered shortly, then tried transitioning to the reason behind her visit. "Listen, have you — never mind. You've taken in a few former members of Ishtar's familia, right? Do you have any advice for helping the broken put themselves back together or teaching mortals that some things are unacceptable? Lili was badly abused by Soma's Familia and readily resorts to defensive self-deprecation, while Administrator was abused by her country and is quick to plot murder."
Hestia heard Hephaestus's breathing hitch. The Goddess of the Hearth raised her head and waved her arms wildly, desperate to wipe away the wide-eyed look of her friend.
"She hasn't done anything yet!" Hestia hastily added. "Only, all the things I've heard about her homeland are just awful. Did you know they give hand crossbows to infants? Because that isn't even the worst thing I've heard about them and Administrator treats it as if it's normal and advisable. And she might not even be wrong; those birds?"
Hestia pointed at the closest Friend flitting around the room.
"Their beaks are venom injectors, and Administrator thought giving me two hidden bodyguards was normal. Their politics sound cutthroat and…"
The Goddess of the Hearth shook her head in wordless frustration while Hephaestus made appropriately sympathetic noises.
"She's oblivious to the idea that it might even be a problem," Hestia finished weakly. "I still don't think that insane is the right word for her, but she definitely doesn't view the world the way that people normally do. I usually don't even know where to start. The hand-crossbows? I could tell her that her people could just work harder to keep their children safe, but that's just addressing one underlying idea without even addressing infant armaments. She's getting better at interpreting and expressing emotions, but that often feels like the only thing I'm making progress on."
Hephaestus settled back in her seat and gave Hestia a sympathetic smile.
"Remember that you haven't even known each other for a whole week," Hephaestus gently reminded her. "And she hasn't even been home for most of that time, has she? The fact that you're already seeing progress is something to be celebrated. You shouldn't expect a problem acknowledged by even the Falna to be something easily unmade."
The Goddess of the Forge paused and looked back up at the Friends flying around.
"Really though, venomous bodyguards?" Hephaestus asked. "How does one even train such creatures? An accident seems as though it could be fatal."
Honestly, Hestia was still half-wondering about that herself. They seemed to be born knowing what to do and how to follow orders, but how did one request such specialized souls? Their tiny little heads hardly seemed large enough to house anything helpful.
"It's a recurring trend," Hestia deflected. "Administrator's cats have venom, too. Besides, I'm increasingly convinced her homeland is full of Spirits. They might just be able to heal away any such injuries."
"Mmm," Hephaestus acknowledged absentmindedly.
The Goddess of the Forge continued to watch Hestia's Friends silently move around the room for a long time. Eventually, the Divine Blacksmith shook her head and turned back to Hestia with her visible eyebrow quirked.
"Well, is it true that you're now rejecting those who wish to join you?" Hephaestus prodded. "Weren't you begging people on the street mere days ago? You went straight from badgering to belittlement without passing through the steps between. People now seem to think you wanted to be rejected and were merely biding your time."
Hestia bit her lip to conceal the giggle that threatened to break out. Administrator's reluctance to share her remained adorable, especially now that Administrator had gone and recruited someone else wounded by the world.
"The abuse was all Administrator," Hestia corrected, well aware that her friend probably already knew. "She had an oh-so-logical explanation for how more people would mean less…"
Hestia trailed off and remembered how Hephaestus had so many children that she could no longer give each of them the attention they arguably needed.
"Less of their goddess's time for each of them?" Hephaestus guessed, half-smiling. "I'm aware of the impression that Anzo must have given you, yet having more children isn't the source of that problem. Most of them avoid me anyway."
Hestia felt her own chagrined smile drop like the temperature after someone leaves the front door open in winter. She'd assumed that Hephaestus had gotten careless while forgetting how most people viewed the Goddess of the Forge and the eye that Hephaestus herself often considered to be cursed.
"You should meet Administrator yourself," Hestia half-offered. "I think she'd like your eye; she seems fond of—"
Hestia's brain caught up with her mouth. Unfortunately, it was too late for her to stop without making matters even worse.
"—body parts that can be used as weaponry."
The Goddess of the Forge froze and stared at Hestia as though unable to believe the words that had just been said.
"I'm really, really sorry!" Hestia hastily apologized. "I wasn't thinking. I just, you know, wanted you to know that Administrator wouldn't mind at all…? I wasn't saying I thought like that!"
Hephaestus didn't acknowledge her words. Hestia really should've thought before she spoke; Administrator might like giving Friends as many hidden weapons as possible, but Hephaestus's perceived defect tended to horrify even the gods who saw it. Hestia was probably the only deity who hadn't viewed the Goddess of the Forge negatively after seeing her right eye.
"Weaponry," Hephaestus echoed tonelessly.
Aaaaahhh, why? Hestia hadn't meant to hurt Hephaestus; it was meant to be reassuring, not horrible! Maybe Hestia could distract the other goddess with an example? She didn't know most of what Administrator's Friends could do, but she knew enough.
"Administrator's cats can stiffen and launch the hairs on their tails!" Hestia half-shouted, desperately drawing on the explanation she'd interrupted several days before. "She thinks it's cute!"
The claim startled Hephaestus out of her downward spiral and earned the incredulous look that Hestia had been aiming for. After seemingly verifying that Hestia wasn't joking, Hephaestus's mouth quirked upward in a manner Hestia had come to associate with impending embarrassment.
"So you're saying that Administrator would find me cute?" Hephaestus teased.
Oh. Well, that isn't so bad. Hestia had already prepared herself for all the likely rumors that would surround Aiz and Administrator once people learned about the kitten.
"I won't rule it out," Hestia shot back.
The flabbergasted expression appearing on Hephaestus's face was priceless, Hestia decided. No wonder people enjoyed teasing Hestia so much. But really, it served Hephaestus right for choosing to think of innocent little Administrator as someone interested in things. Even if the idea was only in passing and part of an attempt to embarrass Hestia, Administrator seemed more likely to make a baby out of Monster Cores if she ever wanted one.
...Please don't tell me she can actually do that.
Last edited:
