Ok, crack omake time. Obviously not intended to be canon.
Yozi Relationship Advice
Ebon Dragon: "Lelouch, you should marry that redhead you know."
Lelouch: "You mean Kallen... right?" Please don't let him mean Tamaki.
Ebon Dragon: "Yeah, her, though Tamaki would be ok too. I'm perfectly ok with being gay when I need to be to oppose something."
Lelouch: "Ok... so why do I need to marry Kallen?"
Ebon Dragon: "First off, I think marriage is awesome. I don't know why. Maybe it's because couples bicker all the time and their love turn to ash. And as for why Kallen, it's quite simple - redheads are hot."
Lelouch: "I... see..." *begins backing away slowly*
Isidoros bursts onto the scene, stealing all attention for himself.
Isidoros: "NONSENSE!"
Ebon Dragon: "Well hey there, Mr. Hedonist. Now explain yourself! Redheads are hot, don't deny it!"
Isidoros: "A real man has a HAREM!"
Ebon Dragon: "You raise a good point. Harems tend to go against societal norms. Approved!"
Lelouch:
Fuck the gods.
Seyrun:
Yeah, fuck them!
And suddenly ORAMUS!!!!
Oramus: "Best dragon is in the house, bitches!"
Ebon Dragon: "Crap..."
Oramus: "I agree wholeheartedly with this harem idea, but I have a caveat!"
Isidoros: "This should be interesting! Tell us now!"
Oramus: "Lelouch vi Britannia, I have decided on your next Urge for when you complete your current one."
Lelouch:
No. No. Please don't let this be true.
Oramus: "You shall create a harem that is greater and more unique than the Emperor of Britannia's harem."
Lelouch:
Fuck the gods!
Seyrun:
Yeah, fuck them!
Lelouch:
Actually, I need to stop thinking that or it might become something I have to do literally at this rate...
Isidoros: "SPLENDID! I like it!"
Oramus: "Oh yes, your harem will be a veritable kaleidoscope of women! You've got the redhead, the blond, the orangette, the greenette, the brunette, and I'm sure there are plenty of other unique colors you can find."
More Yozis and some other people show up!
Metagaos: "Yes! Take all the womenz! Make all of them yours!"
Isidoros: "How delightfully hedonistic! Approved!"
Milly: *squeals with delight* "All my yes!"
Cytherea: "There will be so many babies! Make lots!"
Cecelyne: "Be sure to make your harem worship the ground you walk on."
Oramus: "My Charms are halping with that!"
Adjoran: "Make all of them yandere for you! Now I'm leaving. It's too noisy." *leaves*
Oramus: "My Charms are halping with that, too!"
Kimbery: *Simply enjoys Lelouch's suffering*
Szoreny: "Be patient about growing your harem. Get to know them as individuals, to build a solid relationship."
Lelouch:
That's actually sound advice. Sort of...
Metagaos: "Fuck that! Get all the womenz! NOWZ!"
Isidoros: "Hell yeah! Give in to your base desires and rut like a mindless animal!"
Lelouch:
And now it's ruined.
Hegra: "Psychedelic nightmare drugs can keep the relationship interesting."
Isidoros: "That sounds fucking awesome! Approved!"
SWLiHN: "There must be a hierarchy within the harem, lest it be chaos."
Kaguya: *raises hand* "I'll be the legal wife!"
Ebon Dragon: "No! He has to marry the redhead! For the hawtness!"
Lelouch is quite visibly on the verge of having a panic attack.
Seyrun:
Calm down! Calm down! It's going crazy in here!
Lelouch: "FUCK THE GODS!" *starts screaming incoherently*
Yozis: "Yeah, fuck them!"
While Lelouch is having a mental breakdown...
SWLiHN: "Oh... Oramus. I didn't know you where here. I... uhm... made a bento for lunch and made too much. Here, you can have some." *telekinetically gives Oramus the most perfectly ordered bento box ever* "It's not like I made it just for you or anything." *spheres turn a tone suggesting she's blushing*
Oramus: "Thanks! Hmmm... needs something..." *breathes breath of Pure Chaos on it, causing the bento to mutate and become disordered* "There we go! Now it's unique!"
SWLiHN: "You... you... BAKA ORAMUS!" *runs away, clearly upset*
Oramus: "What's her problem?"
Lelouch: *calms down* "I have no idea."
Everyone Else: *facepalms*
Ebon Dragon: "Anyways, back to the harem plan. Lelouch must marry the redhead!"
Kaguya: "No! I'm the legal wife."
Lelouch: *runs the hell away*
Once away, Lelouch runs into Malfeas.
Malfeas: "The others tried to convince you to get a harem, didn't they?"
Lelouch: "Yes. They're crazy."
Malfeas: "Anyone who wants to enter into a committed relationship is insane. I'd rather cut off my hand than tie myself down like that, which is why I invented Neomah."
Lelouch: *considers this for a moment, weighing it against the alternative* "You are most wise, Your Majesty."