FATHER QUEST: Turn Marker
FATHER QUEST - A Cartoon Network: Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest Cross Over
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Prologue
Standing before you, the ruined remains of a mansion, burnt, broken, and wrecked into a skeletal structure with but the most modest remains of architecture clinging to its form. Like the last bits of dried flesh clinging to a long picked-over corpse. The grisly sight was one you were not accustomed to. As you slinked your way past blackened, warped scrap metal and burned wood, you felt a chill roll down your back.
You suppose that this was how you left it, after all. The remains of television screens, bikes, cars, and shuttle pieces revealed themselves as you made your way into what once was the grand foyer. It took you months of drawing and sketching, followed by months more of directing work to create it. Now, the only months dedicated to it were months of neglect. But you hardly felt bad about the destruction around you. In a way, it was your fault.
Heading up the stairs and past the cinders of the dining room, around the ashes of the gardens you had once cultivated, and through the twisted remains of what had once been your parlor, you knew you wouldn't find what you were looking for. All that remained in the burned, broken, and obliterated place you once called home were ghosts. But yet you persisted onwards.
The rooms began to grow more narrow, and you can easily see where the remains of pastel blue and white walls remained, covered in dust and soot. You brushed past the blackened remains of interior structures, and once or twice, you simply incinerated fallen plastery that blocked your way. With each blast of fire from your palm, you thought back to the last months.
It had been some time, hadn't it? Six months? Seven months? You were never quite great at times, and the mixture of grief and loathing within you made a salve that dulled your perceptions even greater. But you could recall some things.
You recalled that night you faced your father, your anger burning hotter than the sun. You remembered your brother by your side. You knew you were angry. Soon, your memory turns red, the fire inside you devouring all thought and reason. You didn't know if you had intended to kill him. You couldn't even recall if it had been you. But the next thing you remembered, once the fires subsided, you were in this mansion, your brother nowhere to be seen, the remains of a moon base around you, and the ashes of your father in one hand and a book in the other. How exactly that happened felt so raw, yet so… distant in the back of your mind.
—----------------------------------
"You have made me… VERY…. VERY…. ANGRY!"
How did it happen? One moment you were on the ground, or rather, buried in it. The next, you clearly remember standing, fire blazing around you. You could recall your brother's face, his features smothered in that ridiculously bushy mustache and eyebrows, while your father looked merely annoyed. But then the next memory came. You could remember your brother crying out, but what exactly he said had vanished on the roar of the inferno. Suddenly, your father didn't look annoyed. He looked furious.
But you weren't focused on that, not at that moment. Instead, your attention was consumed entirely by the book in your hands. It was something familiar, something that long ago, had perhaps offered a different path than the one you took. It was something that your brother had dedicated himself to. And it was something that had spelled the first doom of your other. Once further in the past. And now, you recalled, fire spiraling and bleeding through your thoughts and memory, it brought upon his destruction then. Giddy and mad with power, you remember clashing with your father, the world blowing away in ash and dust. Entropy and fire consumed the landscape as you two fought, your wills bashing into one another.
Fear vanished, instead replaced with white-hot rage. Locked into a deathmatch, you recalled grappling with him, your powers flaring against one another, perfectly matched. And then, they weren't. With a croaking gasp of total surprise, you vividly remembered him folding to his knees, collapsing under your power. He had been saying something, perhaps some weak heart platitude or ask of forgiveness. You couldn't bring forth exactly what it was, and truth be told, it was at about this point that your memories became more than a little fuzzy. The last thing you remembered was the massive twenty bajillion tons of gum and scrap metal landing on your head. When you woke up, your father was gone.
All that remained was a pile of ash before you, and the Book in your hand.
—---------------------------------
That same Book that was now in your pocket; it had been since you had left. You had taken his ashes, the Book, and left. For the first time in your rage-filled life, you had been adrift. Uncertain. Non-conclusive. The next few months blurred. Brief seconds of ordering a plane to England, your homeland. Non-committal responses to concerned friends. Even a question or two from your sister-in-law. It all sort of drifted away like ashes on the wind. It had taken a while for you to put yourself together enough to even get a tenuous grasp on what was going on, like working your fingers around a smooth, scorched pearl down at the end of the drain. More clearly, you could see yourself letting those ashes go, over the city he had once ruled with an iron fist, his remains reminiscent of the smoke that once roared into the sky. After a week at your old abode, it was only when you found a picture of yourself did you finally find a reason to return.
Truth be told, you knew you wouldn't find them. But yet you opened their bedroom door all the same. What would you even say to them? Would you scold them? Would you berate them? Would you apologize? It didn't matter. All that you saw was an empty room, with broken windows and five beds, melted and ruined. The smell of burnt cotton filled the air as you looked over to their wardrobe. It had fallen over, splintered, and broken and the fabrics within lay as a burnt pile of ashes.
Walking over, you looked down and noticed a small arrangement of fabrics inlaid into a nest. Curiously poking down into the blackened mess, you found a small clutch of eggs, and as your finger made contact, you cocked an eyebrow as one of the eggs began to crack. Recoiling your hand, you watched for a moment longer, as a small little tie peeked its head from its shell and peered back at you. The small creature hissed, and you began to turn your head away; that was until you spotted something hidden beneath the ashes. Digging your hand in, you pulled a small scrap of paper out, its white surface unmistakable, even beneath the ash.
"Hm. Well, what do we have here?"
Sitting down at what was once a vintage hairdresser, you sat and read.
As you placed the note down, you quietly contemplated what it had said. An invisible frown tugged at your silhouette, and your eyes narrowed in a smoldering fury. Yet the incandescent rage eluded you yet. Your children were gone. Run away. And you knew you would not see them again. At least not as you had made them. Chewing on the pipe perpetually stuck in your mouth, the questions burning at the back of your mind seemed only to grow as your mind became clear as if feeding air to a smothered fire. It had been too long since you had been out there in the field since you had done something. Anything. You could recall things had changed. Vague snippets of news between reruns of soap operas. And what had happened to your children? What had happened to your enemies? Your allies? To the world in your absence? These questions boiled in your head. But now wasn't the time for that.
Your name was Benedict Uno. But you were better known as Father. You were the bane of children everywhere, the most feared adult supervillain in the world, the angriest mastermind to ever live, and now, the slayer of Grandfather and the KND.
And you had a mansion to fix.
How will you rebuild your home?
-[ ] Just as it was, down to every detail. Heading down below, you find most of your vaults intact. Including the schematics of your mansion. It will look just as it had been before its destruction, down to every inch. People will know that you are back, just as powerful as ever. Or at least, you hope so.
-[ ] A man's home is his castle. Your home was destroyed, by your father, and by the KND. Never again. You will build a veritable fortress that will nearly be impossible to destroy. It will be brutal and strong, with hardly any facade of nicety or pleasantness. You are certain your co-workers will get the right idea. After all, it's not them you're trying to intimidate, right?
-[ ] Make it look nice! Spruce it up a little, make it bigger, you know, get a little creative with it. You deserve it! Add that garden, that jacuzzi you always wanted, everything that makes you happy. Sure, your enemies might think you're soft, but on the other hand, having a palace to relax in will probably help with your anger.
-[ ] Write in…
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It had been a few weeks since you had returned, and you had let yourself be consumed with rebuilding your home. It was probably for the best, since every time you turned your attention away, your temper grew, and you'd just burn down another hallway or foyer. Focusing your attention on the reconstruction was probably the most therapeutic thing you could have done, and lord knows you need therapy of some sort. Thankfully, you didn't have to do too much of the manual work yourself. Sure, you reasoned, you could have done that little clone trick you had learned a while ago, but that seemed like it would have defeated the point of not getting your hands dirty. Instead, you had fixed up some of the Knightamatons you had kept in your garden shed, which had been mostly left intact, and set them about the task. You were just about to call it quits for the day and retire to a nice, stiff mug of root beer, when you noticed a man approach.
As the square man approached, you took a moment to momentarily banish the shadows surrounding yourself, seeing as how he didn't look like a supervillain, or a kid wearing popcorn buckets as stilts. Better to keep a low profile, until at least your house is fixed up. As he approached, he looked you over. Brown curly hair crested his square forehead, complimenting his by-the-book black-rimmed glasses and professional pocket protector. You wouldn't call him a nerd or nebbish-looking guy, not with his tall posture and broad shoulders. The pot belly was less than impressive, but he looked like the kinda guy who played football in school.
"Mr. Benedict Uno?"
He looked up from his clipboard, a smile on his face. There was a bit of eagerness to this guy you just didn't get. But you also didn't get why he was here to begin with, or how he knew your name.
"Uh… Yes. That's me. And may I ask who YOU are?"
"Oh, pardon me sir. I'm Hank Hill. The temp your business asked for?"
"My BUSINESS? Oh, that's right… I did leave them a little… unorganized."
You hadn't given Adult Co. all that much thought, to be honest. It had always been sort of a side project, something you had going on to pay the bills and give you more people to boss around. Most of the time, you left that to Mr. Bossman. But now that you thought about it, you hadn't heard anything from him in a good stretch of time.
"So, how IS the old business? I've been on an extended leave."
"Well, you see Mr. Uno, that's sort of why I'm here in the first place."
He said, his hand immediately going to the back of his neck, scratching it out of habit while looking away. You expected he'd do this every time he had bad news to deliver.
"It's uh… Not doing too good. There's been greater competition in the market, and uh, your man-in-charge seems to have… gone missing. I got called in by my temp agency to try and help get this ship righted, sir."
"So you're here to BAIL us out, huh? Well, I suppose that'd work. What were you looking to fill in, Mr. Hill? Do you have any Experience?"
Hank took a moment to think, before flipping through his clipboard, adjusting his glasses with a firm hand as he did so. Internally, he was confused as all get out by your weird inflection, but you didn't know that, and he thought that telling you might sour his prospective working relationship.
"Well, I sold propane and propane accessories, sir."
"And that QUALIFIES you to run a conglomerate, Mr. Hill?"
"No sir, Mr. Uno. But to be frank, Mr. Uno, I was the only one who applied."
That one caught you off guard. You think you even blinked in confusion at that. Really? Nobody? Not even Tolienator? How long have you been gone? You were going to have to take stock of things quicker than you thought. A lot quicker.
"Well, Hot Dog, that's all the resume I need to hear. Welcome aboard, Mr. HILL."
"Thank you Mr. Uno. I'll do right by you sir."
You reach out a hand to shake his own. It's a firm, well-done, and practiced thing. Your dad hadn't taught you much, but he did teach you how to do a good handshake. Hank seemed to appreciate that.
"Now, to get down to business. While I was on the way here, I took the liberty of doing a brief overview of your company and your competition. And I'm afraid to say sir, we are in a dire situation."
He put some emphasis on that last sentence, and it seems like he really meant business. Picking it up, you brushed past the non-important part that told you about revenue, profits, savings, budgets and data. Instead, you immediately headed straight to the competitors. After all, these were the inconsequential FOOLS who thought they could pull a fast over you! As you quickly skimmed over them, however, you begin to realize with slight disappointment that only some of them seemed like fronts for the KND. Mandark Co. and Endsville Energy solutions seemed like obvious shells, but Total Drama Productions? Katz Inc? Rosewater Solutions? Scam Co? Guild of Financial Services? All of these seemed like actual, viable opponents capable of beating you in honest-to-god capitalism. You shudder as a chill runs down your back, and Hank instantly seems to pick up on your fear.
"Well, of course sir, it's not just the competition. As crazy as It may sound the uh… Alien problem up north has been a stressor on the economy. Not to mention the dictators in the south. Or all those superheroes flyin' around. Things are uh… Well, I'll be honest sir, like the whole dang world has been flipped upside down."
That seems to calm you down a little bit. At least things weren't all business related. Had things gotten that out of hand though? You figured that the KND were up and about as much anymore, but really? Aliens? Superheroes? Dictators in South America? Wait, no, that last one was pretty real, you think. In any case, you needed to focus on the here and now. You pinched your brow and blew a puff of smoke on your pipe; not that you needed anything in it to produce smoke.
"Alright Hank, it seems like we've got our hands full here. BUT, I've never been the kinda guy to GIVE up! We're gonna turn things around, YOU hear me? Good ol' FATH- Er, BENEDICT UNO has never been the kinda guy to uh… back off when the road gets rough. That ain't the AMERICAN way! So, let's get you signed up and put to work. That sound GOOD?"
"Sir, I've been waiting for someone to tell me that for the last year straight."
It seems like you've gotten on Hank Hill's good side, but where will you put him?
-[ ] Put Mr. Hill directly onto Adult Co.'s most mundane manufacturing department. Best to not scare him away with laser blasters and incredibly dangerous killing machines. He'll sell Paper and paper accessories, and he'll be darn good at it, and you tell him not to worry too much about anything else.
-[ ] Make Mr. Hill the CEO of Adult Co. it's a big jump in responsibility, but he seems like the kinda guy who would take to it like fish to water. Sure, he might have some questions about some of the more dangerous products you sell, and he might have some doubts, but he'll be doing his best to keep things running.
-[ ] Mr. Hill is too valuable to be wasted on just Adult Co. You'll make him your personal assistant. Sure, Adult Co. might flounder till you find someone else to run it, but Hank will do a bang-up job of making sure your personal effects are in order. He might have some questions about your less than… heroic activities and plans.
- [ ] Write in…
—---------------------------------------------------------
"Now, Mr. Uno, I can't say I've ever been to this particular branch of investors. Are you, uh, sure that they're reputable?"
"Nonsense my good SIR. These investors are the best in the business. Or so I'm told. They come highly RECOMMENDED."
The car ride to the investors was… Less than perfect. After explaining to Hank his new role in the company, you decided to take a quick car ride over to your usual bankers. On the way, Hank began to break down the situation in the world at large. It seemed that in your absence, all hell had broken loose; in Canada, a hostile alien empire known as The Great Diamond Authority had invaded and taken America's northern neighbor by surprise and conquered it outright. Thanks to the help of numerous investors, the surprisingly adequately funded military had stalled their advance and brought it to a grinding slog before the Gems, as they were called, retreated. Evidently, Sheep-powered lasers, gigantic mecha, and a thousand other hair-brained money pits had actually come in handy.
Meanwhile, in Latin America, things had gotten… Weird. To Hank's knowledge, a man calling himself Hector Con Carne had recently conquered Mexico, and had nearly invaded Texas and Nevada. Truth be told, and you had the feeling Hank would have jumped out of the truck if you said it, but Texas always had it coming. But that wasn't where the story ended. A massive Luchador-themed casino chain had come to dominate parts of Nevada, and ghost stories began to pour over the border. Some even said that the Rio Grande was more like a Rio Styx, with Boogie Men sailing under the banner of the underworld. Hank seemed to laugh that one off, but he still seemed more than a little concerned about his home state.
And as for the rest of the world… Well, it was kind of a mess. Ever since the alien invasion, worldwide networks were entirely down. The only places you could get any sort of reliable information pm were parts of Japan, Britain, and India, but other than that? Nothing. Zilch. It was like half the world had just up and fallen into a dark age of sorts. To be frank, if you weren't the guy who just single-handedly stopped a zombie apocalypse, you'd probably be just as nervous as Mr Hill.
"Well, under my EMPLOY Mr. Hill, such worries will be a thing of the past! NOBODY messes with Father and gets away with IT!"
"Father, sir?"
"Uh… Well, OF COURSE my nickname is Father. That's what ALL my employees call me. 'Cause I'm the FATHER of the company. Pretty clever, right? Heck, you can call me that now. I guess."
"Oh, of course Mr. Father sir. Ah, darn it, it looks like we're hitting traffic."
"Traffic? At 10 IN THE MORNING?"
"Well, maybe- What in the god damn-"
That was about when the giant foot crashed down on the car in front of you.
"BWAHHHH!"
Hank swerved the car, nearly crashing into a nearby fire hydrant. And to be honest, that was either the funniest scream you'd ever heard or the most confusing. It quickly became the most annoying, however, when he wouldn't stop doing it. It took a moment, and a reaffirming violent shake on the shoulder to snap him out of it.
"Hank. HANK."
When the temperature in the car skyrocketed, he turned to look you in the eyes.
"Why don't you just… Run on ahead. I'll meet you there."
"But sir-"
"Hank. You know those SUPER heroes, right?"
"Er… Yes Sir?"
"I'm… Something like that. In the same BALLpark. Understand?"
Hank nodded his head. As the monster crashed down on the car next to you, you turned back to him.
"Alright. Now I'm gonna need YOU to get to that meeting. Stall them, talk to them, do WHATEVER."
"What are you gonna do sir?"
"Easy, my good sir. I'm going to teach this OVERGROWN FISH STICK proper road ETIQUETTE."
Hank seemed to get the memo pretty quickly, as he dashed out of the car and down the street, toward the scheduled meeting place. Meanwhile, you calmly stood up and out of the car, chewing your pipe in a miff. With a deep breath, the shadows coil around you, returning you back to your intimidating dark silhouette. You exhale.
"Pardon me…"
The monster didn't seem to hear you. Well, that was his mistake. Snapping your fingers, a car near you simply began to levitate, before being flung with telekinetic force at the ten-story tall beast. As it slammed into the back of its ugly head, you took a look at the equally ugly beast. It was a large, orange, scaly and slimy creature with red fins. Rather than fall, the car seemed to get skewered on the beast's shiny white barbs, and you tried to remember if anybody had been in it when you threw it. Probably not. In either case, you got its attention. Slowly, its eyes and eyes and more eyes were all directly on you.
"Listen here, you big…. Giant… Fish Balloon… MONSTER! Do you know that you happened to make me LATE for MY meeting? Do you understand just how ANGRY that makes me?"
It roared. You took that as a no.
"I see. Well then, my scaly friend, allow me to articulate it in a method you UNDERSTAND!"
Reeling an arm back, you pitched a fireball right at its face, landing a hit square in the middle. Stumbling back, you let out a deep laugh.
"My my, it seems I had forgotten just how nice it is to toss around the old Fire and BRIMSTONE."
Shaking off the soot, the beast let out a screech. Stomping the ground, it began to lumber towards you, charging with its immense bulk. It seemed that it hadn't learned its lesson.
"I suppose you'll just have to learn THE HARD WAY."
With that, you really decide to let him have it. Flexing your arms back, fingers outstretched, you let loose a bolt of fire. Carrying over the movement, you let loose another, and then another, until you fall into that comfortable rhythm. Arm back, let loose, arm back, let loose, again and again, until you're letting loose a veritable fire storm. It's only when the beast is but a few blocks away that you feel the rage boil over.
"HAD ENOUGH YOU BIG JERK?"
And with that, an eruption of flame consumed you, the car, the monster, the block, and the next few blocks over. Everything just goes white-hot for a moment, smoke and fire filling the air.
By the time you come to, you are surrounded by people, looking up to you in amazement, or at the world's biggest fish stick in front of you.
"Wha…"
Have you really done that? With wide eyes, you looked down at your hands, still smoking with ash and fire. When did you get that strong? Or had you really been just penting it all up after the last few days? You took a few more moments before scattering the crowd, and quickly running to where you had sent Hank. Down the stairs, past the double doors, a flash of your ID, and soon you were quickly ushered down to the chamber entrance.
Rushing past a worried Hank, you knew you needed to meet your investors on the dot. With one last push, you fling open the doors, ready to meet them just as the clock begins to chime.
You fling open the door, ready to meet your investors, who were…
You suppose that this was how you left it, after all. The remains of television screens, bikes, cars, and shuttle pieces revealed themselves as you made your way into what once was the grand foyer. It took you months of drawing and sketching, followed by months more of directing work to create it. Now, the only months dedicated to it were months of neglect. But you hardly felt bad about the destruction around you. In a way, it was your fault.
Heading up the stairs and past the cinders of the dining room, around the ashes of the gardens you had once cultivated, and through the twisted remains of what had once been your parlor, you knew you wouldn't find what you were looking for. All that remained in the burned, broken, and obliterated place you once called home were ghosts. But yet you persisted onwards.
The rooms began to grow more narrow, and you can easily see where the remains of pastel blue and white walls remained, covered in dust and soot. You brushed past the blackened remains of interior structures, and once or twice, you simply incinerated fallen plastery that blocked your way. With each blast of fire from your palm, you thought back to the last months.
It had been some time, hadn't it? Six months? Seven months? You were never quite great at times, and the mixture of grief and loathing within you made a salve that dulled your perceptions even greater. But you could recall some things.
You recalled that night you faced your father, your anger burning hotter than the sun. You remembered your brother by your side. You knew you were angry. Soon, your memory turns red, the fire inside you devouring all thought and reason. You didn't know if you had intended to kill him. You couldn't even recall if it had been you. But the next thing you remembered, once the fires subsided, you were in this mansion, your brother nowhere to be seen, the remains of a moon base around you, and the ashes of your father in one hand and a book in the other. How exactly that happened felt so raw, yet so… distant in the back of your mind.
—----------------------------------
"You have made me… VERY…. VERY…. ANGRY!"
How did it happen? One moment you were on the ground, or rather, buried in it. The next, you clearly remember standing, fire blazing around you. You could recall your brother's face, his features smothered in that ridiculously bushy mustache and eyebrows, while your father looked merely annoyed. But then the next memory came. You could remember your brother crying out, but what exactly he said had vanished on the roar of the inferno. Suddenly, your father didn't look annoyed. He looked furious.
But you weren't focused on that, not at that moment. Instead, your attention was consumed entirely by the book in your hands. It was something familiar, something that long ago, had perhaps offered a different path than the one you took. It was something that your brother had dedicated himself to. And it was something that had spelled the first doom of your other. Once further in the past. And now, you recalled, fire spiraling and bleeding through your thoughts and memory, it brought upon his destruction then. Giddy and mad with power, you remember clashing with your father, the world blowing away in ash and dust. Entropy and fire consumed the landscape as you two fought, your wills bashing into one another.
Fear vanished, instead replaced with white-hot rage. Locked into a deathmatch, you recalled grappling with him, your powers flaring against one another, perfectly matched. And then, they weren't. With a croaking gasp of total surprise, you vividly remembered him folding to his knees, collapsing under your power. He had been saying something, perhaps some weak heart platitude or ask of forgiveness. You couldn't bring forth exactly what it was, and truth be told, it was at about this point that your memories became more than a little fuzzy. The last thing you remembered was the massive twenty bajillion tons of gum and scrap metal landing on your head. When you woke up, your father was gone.
All that remained was a pile of ash before you, and the Book in your hand.
—---------------------------------
That same Book that was now in your pocket; it had been since you had left. You had taken his ashes, the Book, and left. For the first time in your rage-filled life, you had been adrift. Uncertain. Non-conclusive. The next few months blurred. Brief seconds of ordering a plane to England, your homeland. Non-committal responses to concerned friends. Even a question or two from your sister-in-law. It all sort of drifted away like ashes on the wind. It had taken a while for you to put yourself together enough to even get a tenuous grasp on what was going on, like working your fingers around a smooth, scorched pearl down at the end of the drain. More clearly, you could see yourself letting those ashes go, over the city he had once ruled with an iron fist, his remains reminiscent of the smoke that once roared into the sky. After a week at your old abode, it was only when you found a picture of yourself did you finally find a reason to return.
Truth be told, you knew you wouldn't find them. But yet you opened their bedroom door all the same. What would you even say to them? Would you scold them? Would you berate them? Would you apologize? It didn't matter. All that you saw was an empty room, with broken windows and five beds, melted and ruined. The smell of burnt cotton filled the air as you looked over to their wardrobe. It had fallen over, splintered, and broken and the fabrics within lay as a burnt pile of ashes.
Walking over, you looked down and noticed a small arrangement of fabrics inlaid into a nest. Curiously poking down into the blackened mess, you found a small clutch of eggs, and as your finger made contact, you cocked an eyebrow as one of the eggs began to crack. Recoiling your hand, you watched for a moment longer, as a small little tie peeked its head from its shell and peered back at you. The small creature hissed, and you began to turn your head away; that was until you spotted something hidden beneath the ashes. Digging your hand in, you pulled a small scrap of paper out, its white surface unmistakable, even beneath the ash.
"Hm. Well, what do we have here?"
Sitting down at what was once a vintage hairdresser, you sat and read.
As you placed the note down, you quietly contemplated what it had said. An invisible frown tugged at your silhouette, and your eyes narrowed in a smoldering fury. Yet the incandescent rage eluded you yet. Your children were gone. Run away. And you knew you would not see them again. At least not as you had made them. Chewing on the pipe perpetually stuck in your mouth, the questions burning at the back of your mind seemed only to grow as your mind became clear as if feeding air to a smothered fire. It had been too long since you had been out there in the field since you had done something. Anything. You could recall things had changed. Vague snippets of news between reruns of soap operas. And what had happened to your children? What had happened to your enemies? Your allies? To the world in your absence? These questions boiled in your head. But now wasn't the time for that.
Your name was Benedict Uno. But you were better known as Father. You were the bane of children everywhere, the most feared adult supervillain in the world, the angriest mastermind to ever live, and now, the slayer of Grandfather and the KND.
And you had a mansion to fix.
How will you rebuild your home?
-[ ] Just as it was, down to every detail. Heading down below, you find most of your vaults intact. Including the schematics of your mansion. It will look just as it had been before its destruction, down to every inch. People will know that you are back, just as powerful as ever. Or at least, you hope so.
-[ ] A man's home is his castle. Your home was destroyed, by your father, and by the KND. Never again. You will build a veritable fortress that will nearly be impossible to destroy. It will be brutal and strong, with hardly any facade of nicety or pleasantness. You are certain your co-workers will get the right idea. After all, it's not them you're trying to intimidate, right?
-[ ] Make it look nice! Spruce it up a little, make it bigger, you know, get a little creative with it. You deserve it! Add that garden, that jacuzzi you always wanted, everything that makes you happy. Sure, your enemies might think you're soft, but on the other hand, having a palace to relax in will probably help with your anger.
-[ ] Write in…
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It had been a few weeks since you had returned, and you had let yourself be consumed with rebuilding your home. It was probably for the best, since every time you turned your attention away, your temper grew, and you'd just burn down another hallway or foyer. Focusing your attention on the reconstruction was probably the most therapeutic thing you could have done, and lord knows you need therapy of some sort. Thankfully, you didn't have to do too much of the manual work yourself. Sure, you reasoned, you could have done that little clone trick you had learned a while ago, but that seemed like it would have defeated the point of not getting your hands dirty. Instead, you had fixed up some of the Knightamatons you had kept in your garden shed, which had been mostly left intact, and set them about the task. You were just about to call it quits for the day and retire to a nice, stiff mug of root beer, when you noticed a man approach.
As the square man approached, you took a moment to momentarily banish the shadows surrounding yourself, seeing as how he didn't look like a supervillain, or a kid wearing popcorn buckets as stilts. Better to keep a low profile, until at least your house is fixed up. As he approached, he looked you over. Brown curly hair crested his square forehead, complimenting his by-the-book black-rimmed glasses and professional pocket protector. You wouldn't call him a nerd or nebbish-looking guy, not with his tall posture and broad shoulders. The pot belly was less than impressive, but he looked like the kinda guy who played football in school.
"Mr. Benedict Uno?"
He looked up from his clipboard, a smile on his face. There was a bit of eagerness to this guy you just didn't get. But you also didn't get why he was here to begin with, or how he knew your name.
"Uh… Yes. That's me. And may I ask who YOU are?"
"Oh, pardon me sir. I'm Hank Hill. The temp your business asked for?"
"My BUSINESS? Oh, that's right… I did leave them a little… unorganized."
You hadn't given Adult Co. all that much thought, to be honest. It had always been sort of a side project, something you had going on to pay the bills and give you more people to boss around. Most of the time, you left that to Mr. Bossman. But now that you thought about it, you hadn't heard anything from him in a good stretch of time.
"So, how IS the old business? I've been on an extended leave."
"Well, you see Mr. Uno, that's sort of why I'm here in the first place."
He said, his hand immediately going to the back of his neck, scratching it out of habit while looking away. You expected he'd do this every time he had bad news to deliver.
"It's uh… Not doing too good. There's been greater competition in the market, and uh, your man-in-charge seems to have… gone missing. I got called in by my temp agency to try and help get this ship righted, sir."
"So you're here to BAIL us out, huh? Well, I suppose that'd work. What were you looking to fill in, Mr. Hill? Do you have any Experience?"
Hank took a moment to think, before flipping through his clipboard, adjusting his glasses with a firm hand as he did so. Internally, he was confused as all get out by your weird inflection, but you didn't know that, and he thought that telling you might sour his prospective working relationship.
"Well, I sold propane and propane accessories, sir."
"And that QUALIFIES you to run a conglomerate, Mr. Hill?"
"No sir, Mr. Uno. But to be frank, Mr. Uno, I was the only one who applied."
That one caught you off guard. You think you even blinked in confusion at that. Really? Nobody? Not even Tolienator? How long have you been gone? You were going to have to take stock of things quicker than you thought. A lot quicker.
"Well, Hot Dog, that's all the resume I need to hear. Welcome aboard, Mr. HILL."
"Thank you Mr. Uno. I'll do right by you sir."
You reach out a hand to shake his own. It's a firm, well-done, and practiced thing. Your dad hadn't taught you much, but he did teach you how to do a good handshake. Hank seemed to appreciate that.
"Now, to get down to business. While I was on the way here, I took the liberty of doing a brief overview of your company and your competition. And I'm afraid to say sir, we are in a dire situation."
He put some emphasis on that last sentence, and it seems like he really meant business. Picking it up, you brushed past the non-important part that told you about revenue, profits, savings, budgets and data. Instead, you immediately headed straight to the competitors. After all, these were the inconsequential FOOLS who thought they could pull a fast over you! As you quickly skimmed over them, however, you begin to realize with slight disappointment that only some of them seemed like fronts for the KND. Mandark Co. and Endsville Energy solutions seemed like obvious shells, but Total Drama Productions? Katz Inc? Rosewater Solutions? Scam Co? Guild of Financial Services? All of these seemed like actual, viable opponents capable of beating you in honest-to-god capitalism. You shudder as a chill runs down your back, and Hank instantly seems to pick up on your fear.
"Well, of course sir, it's not just the competition. As crazy as It may sound the uh… Alien problem up north has been a stressor on the economy. Not to mention the dictators in the south. Or all those superheroes flyin' around. Things are uh… Well, I'll be honest sir, like the whole dang world has been flipped upside down."
That seems to calm you down a little bit. At least things weren't all business related. Had things gotten that out of hand though? You figured that the KND were up and about as much anymore, but really? Aliens? Superheroes? Dictators in South America? Wait, no, that last one was pretty real, you think. In any case, you needed to focus on the here and now. You pinched your brow and blew a puff of smoke on your pipe; not that you needed anything in it to produce smoke.
"Alright Hank, it seems like we've got our hands full here. BUT, I've never been the kinda guy to GIVE up! We're gonna turn things around, YOU hear me? Good ol' FATH- Er, BENEDICT UNO has never been the kinda guy to uh… back off when the road gets rough. That ain't the AMERICAN way! So, let's get you signed up and put to work. That sound GOOD?"
"Sir, I've been waiting for someone to tell me that for the last year straight."
It seems like you've gotten on Hank Hill's good side, but where will you put him?
-[ ] Put Mr. Hill directly onto Adult Co.'s most mundane manufacturing department. Best to not scare him away with laser blasters and incredibly dangerous killing machines. He'll sell Paper and paper accessories, and he'll be darn good at it, and you tell him not to worry too much about anything else.
-[ ] Make Mr. Hill the CEO of Adult Co. it's a big jump in responsibility, but he seems like the kinda guy who would take to it like fish to water. Sure, he might have some questions about some of the more dangerous products you sell, and he might have some doubts, but he'll be doing his best to keep things running.
-[ ] Mr. Hill is too valuable to be wasted on just Adult Co. You'll make him your personal assistant. Sure, Adult Co. might flounder till you find someone else to run it, but Hank will do a bang-up job of making sure your personal effects are in order. He might have some questions about your less than… heroic activities and plans.
- [ ] Write in…
—---------------------------------------------------------
"Now, Mr. Uno, I can't say I've ever been to this particular branch of investors. Are you, uh, sure that they're reputable?"
"Nonsense my good SIR. These investors are the best in the business. Or so I'm told. They come highly RECOMMENDED."
The car ride to the investors was… Less than perfect. After explaining to Hank his new role in the company, you decided to take a quick car ride over to your usual bankers. On the way, Hank began to break down the situation in the world at large. It seemed that in your absence, all hell had broken loose; in Canada, a hostile alien empire known as The Great Diamond Authority had invaded and taken America's northern neighbor by surprise and conquered it outright. Thanks to the help of numerous investors, the surprisingly adequately funded military had stalled their advance and brought it to a grinding slog before the Gems, as they were called, retreated. Evidently, Sheep-powered lasers, gigantic mecha, and a thousand other hair-brained money pits had actually come in handy.
Meanwhile, in Latin America, things had gotten… Weird. To Hank's knowledge, a man calling himself Hector Con Carne had recently conquered Mexico, and had nearly invaded Texas and Nevada. Truth be told, and you had the feeling Hank would have jumped out of the truck if you said it, but Texas always had it coming. But that wasn't where the story ended. A massive Luchador-themed casino chain had come to dominate parts of Nevada, and ghost stories began to pour over the border. Some even said that the Rio Grande was more like a Rio Styx, with Boogie Men sailing under the banner of the underworld. Hank seemed to laugh that one off, but he still seemed more than a little concerned about his home state.
And as for the rest of the world… Well, it was kind of a mess. Ever since the alien invasion, worldwide networks were entirely down. The only places you could get any sort of reliable information pm were parts of Japan, Britain, and India, but other than that? Nothing. Zilch. It was like half the world had just up and fallen into a dark age of sorts. To be frank, if you weren't the guy who just single-handedly stopped a zombie apocalypse, you'd probably be just as nervous as Mr Hill.
"Well, under my EMPLOY Mr. Hill, such worries will be a thing of the past! NOBODY messes with Father and gets away with IT!"
"Father, sir?"
"Uh… Well, OF COURSE my nickname is Father. That's what ALL my employees call me. 'Cause I'm the FATHER of the company. Pretty clever, right? Heck, you can call me that now. I guess."
"Oh, of course Mr. Father sir. Ah, darn it, it looks like we're hitting traffic."
"Traffic? At 10 IN THE MORNING?"
"Well, maybe- What in the god damn-"
That was about when the giant foot crashed down on the car in front of you.
"BWAHHHH!"
Hank swerved the car, nearly crashing into a nearby fire hydrant. And to be honest, that was either the funniest scream you'd ever heard or the most confusing. It quickly became the most annoying, however, when he wouldn't stop doing it. It took a moment, and a reaffirming violent shake on the shoulder to snap him out of it.
"Hank. HANK."
When the temperature in the car skyrocketed, he turned to look you in the eyes.
"Why don't you just… Run on ahead. I'll meet you there."
"But sir-"
"Hank. You know those SUPER heroes, right?"
"Er… Yes Sir?"
"I'm… Something like that. In the same BALLpark. Understand?"
Hank nodded his head. As the monster crashed down on the car next to you, you turned back to him.
"Alright. Now I'm gonna need YOU to get to that meeting. Stall them, talk to them, do WHATEVER."
"What are you gonna do sir?"
"Easy, my good sir. I'm going to teach this OVERGROWN FISH STICK proper road ETIQUETTE."
Hank seemed to get the memo pretty quickly, as he dashed out of the car and down the street, toward the scheduled meeting place. Meanwhile, you calmly stood up and out of the car, chewing your pipe in a miff. With a deep breath, the shadows coil around you, returning you back to your intimidating dark silhouette. You exhale.
"Pardon me…"
The monster didn't seem to hear you. Well, that was his mistake. Snapping your fingers, a car near you simply began to levitate, before being flung with telekinetic force at the ten-story tall beast. As it slammed into the back of its ugly head, you took a look at the equally ugly beast. It was a large, orange, scaly and slimy creature with red fins. Rather than fall, the car seemed to get skewered on the beast's shiny white barbs, and you tried to remember if anybody had been in it when you threw it. Probably not. In either case, you got its attention. Slowly, its eyes and eyes and more eyes were all directly on you.
"Listen here, you big…. Giant… Fish Balloon… MONSTER! Do you know that you happened to make me LATE for MY meeting? Do you understand just how ANGRY that makes me?"
It roared. You took that as a no.
"I see. Well then, my scaly friend, allow me to articulate it in a method you UNDERSTAND!"
Reeling an arm back, you pitched a fireball right at its face, landing a hit square in the middle. Stumbling back, you let out a deep laugh.
"My my, it seems I had forgotten just how nice it is to toss around the old Fire and BRIMSTONE."
Shaking off the soot, the beast let out a screech. Stomping the ground, it began to lumber towards you, charging with its immense bulk. It seemed that it hadn't learned its lesson.
"I suppose you'll just have to learn THE HARD WAY."
With that, you really decide to let him have it. Flexing your arms back, fingers outstretched, you let loose a bolt of fire. Carrying over the movement, you let loose another, and then another, until you fall into that comfortable rhythm. Arm back, let loose, arm back, let loose, again and again, until you're letting loose a veritable fire storm. It's only when the beast is but a few blocks away that you feel the rage boil over.
"HAD ENOUGH YOU BIG JERK?"
And with that, an eruption of flame consumed you, the car, the monster, the block, and the next few blocks over. Everything just goes white-hot for a moment, smoke and fire filling the air.
By the time you come to, you are surrounded by people, looking up to you in amazement, or at the world's biggest fish stick in front of you.
"Wha…"
Have you really done that? With wide eyes, you looked down at your hands, still smoking with ash and fire. When did you get that strong? Or had you really been just penting it all up after the last few days? You took a few more moments before scattering the crowd, and quickly running to where you had sent Hank. Down the stairs, past the double doors, a flash of your ID, and soon you were quickly ushered down to the chamber entrance.
Rushing past a worried Hank, you knew you needed to meet your investors on the dot. With one last push, you fling open the doors, ready to meet them just as the clock begins to chime.
You fling open the door, ready to meet your investors, who were…
- [ ] The Evil Board of Villains - Not exactly subtle, but they never really were. Composed of Cosma, Professor Venomous and Billiam Williams, these three are some of the most wealthy and influential independent supervillains in the US. But to them, Villainy is just the most efficient pathway to profit. While they're more than willing to prop up the most outlandish and crazy schemes with the vaguest of intents, they always demand their investment returned and then some. However, they always stick to their rules.
- [ ] Mammoth Corporation - Technically a front for the Guild of Calamitous Intent, Monstroso is more or less the chief executive of the branch. The man is capable of getting just about anything you could dream of and has his fingers everywhere, your wish is his command. But tit for tat is the name of the game. The bigger the favor, the bigger the one you'll owe him. Need a new heart? Say no more. Keep in mind, he might need your liver down the line though.
- [ ] Black Hat Inc. - The black-hatted demon of business himself awaits you in the council room, and he is a broker of terrible power and infrastructure. Unlike Monstroso, he doesn't play around. He wants your soul, simple and plain. Or at least any you can provide. So long as you can keep paying the soul stuff in written word or contract, he'll be more than happy to give you whatever weapon of terrible might you prefer. Just keep in mind he's not a fan of heroes.
- [ ] Write in…
—----------------------------------------------------------------------
What is Father Quest?
Father Quest is a game where you play the Archfiend of Adulthood from Codename: Kids Next Door, Benedict Uno, or better known as the insidious Father. While not exactly at the top of his game, ending the apocalypse can slow a guy down, you are one of the major players in a rapidly evolving world filled with danger, intrigue and catastrophes waiting to happen. In a world where Supervillainy and Mad scientists rule, alien warlords take as they please, and even darker creatures lurk in the shadows, it's up to you to take the reins of destiny by force and carve out your path in this wildly twisted world called Cruel Network.
As Father, you will be assuming his role half a dozen months or so following the end of KND: Operation Z.E.R.O, after defeating and slaying your own father. The KND have imploded and scattered to the wind, and your own villains are rapidly spinning off into their own subplots.
Of course, you aren't alone. Just like you, every other Cartoon Network villain has won in some way or at least succeeded by some definition. Their prospective foes beaten, corrupted or removed, they sit atop their respective thrones triumphant, albeit for only a moment. New foes emerge, and ever is it in their nature for such villains to plot and scheme. Their only question now? Who next.
Currently around you, Mandy (Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) forges an empire on the back of the Underworld, while dealing with mystical powers south of the border. Mandark (Dexter's Laboratory) plots his schemes for domination, collecting geniuses in an arms race against the world. Meanwhile, Katz (Courage the Cowardly Dog), Eddy (Ed Edd and Eddy) and Chris McLean (Total Drama Island) circle the borders, making a profit off whoever they can swindle. To the North, the great Diamond Authority (Steven Universe) wages its war against the United States and its various powers.
Out in the wider world…who knows?
Father beat the man who he had always idolized and who had always thought him lacking. But with Grandfather's final defeat, Father has been left adrift. And with his children gone missing, his business is in shambles, and without his lifelong foe to fight, Father may be forced to look in the once place that he has never dared to look within, that one place hidden beneath rage, hate and a dark silhouette: himself.
What is Cruel Network?
Listen, I'm not gonna lie: Things aren't looking pretty.
You've heard of Disney Villains Victorious, right? If not, well, check out DoofQuest. But if you're not so obliged, it's a world where the Disney Villains of their respective franchises or series were victorious over their heroic counterparts, ranging from the classic world to the Shadowrun-y future of DVV: Gridlocked. But this setting?
This is the world where the Cartoon Network Villains won. And seeing as you are Father, a Cartoon Network Villain, guess what bucko, you win too!
As you can imagine, this is a much more chaotic, violent, and overall darker world to inhabit. Across the U.S, Supervillains and Tech-moguls slowly dominate what remains of the civilized world whether it be through crony capitalism or outright conquest, while the forces of the Gem Homeworld harvest the life-force of the earth for their armies. Across Europe, the insidious AI X.A.N.A (Code Lyoko) is waging war upon all who challenge it, contesting the mutated EVO hordes of Van Kleiss (Generator Rex) and Cryptid armies of V.V. Arghost (Secret Saturdays). This is a world in which Hector Con Carne (Evil Con Carne) rules Mexico as Dictator El Supremo, and Warlord "Evil" Coop (Megas XLR) has turned Australia into a mech-scrap scoured waste. And that's just the parts you can see from orbit.
Above it all, Aku (Samurai Jack), the shape shifting master of evil, watches the world where his evil is law!
For more information, check these out!
CN KLRs - Google Docs
Special Thanks
I just really want to give a massive shout-out to my friends over in Doofquest, for being such awesome people who are always there for me, and for helping guide me, and especially for giving me inspiration for this quest and for lending me their system. To the Doofquest team, I give a massive, heart-filled thanks!
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FQ: The World of Cruel Network (Lore)
The World at Large
Now, the world is quite different from our own. Heck, it's even more different than that of DVV: Gridlocked. The world is in a tumultuous, dangerous time, where the numerous villains all scramble for power and the secret to destroying their enemies. You'll learn about some of these powers in the upcoming categories.
Supers
Within America, although found-elsewhere, there are numerous Superheroes, and even more Super-villains. These people have the ability to go even further beyond the normal limits of humanity, whether it be from dastardly schemes, to simply picking up banks and flying away. All in all, they are a force to be reckoned with. With the overall collapse of most of the world, and subsequent rise of villainy, Supervilliains have quickly risen to prominence as especially wanted minions and lieutenants among the villains who can afford them. While there are few Superheros, or villains, capable of destroying massive swathes of land, their myriad abilities and skills make them very desirable.
Oftentimes, these villains have rather impressive followings, both in person and online. Many also fall under the power of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and obey its membership and ruling, while others may prefer to work free-lance, or are hired by one specific King. There is a growing divide in the US between the older generations of Villains, who practice a more refined form of adversarialism called "Arching", while the newer generation pays them little respect, and prefers to do as they please, when they please. Finally, there are the Adult Supervillians; this is a group that is on the decline at the moment, as with the destruction of the KND, their main adversary has been removed.
The Internet
Just like in the real world, The Internet is NOT a safe place. While it may be possible to run a smaller, closed circuit of computers within one's territory that is completely safe, accessing the online world-wide web entails a certain level of danger. If the current web in the real world is untrustworthy, then times it by ten, and include sentient programs that hate your guts, both metaphorically and physically. And that's not including the ever looming menace of Hyper-advanced AI's that prowl the web; While local AI's have given some measure of resistance, XANA is an ever-looming threat, as well as other AI that have escaped their confines. If you use the internet, do so with extreme caution, and a fire-wall or forty.
The Scam
In a world as deranged and twisted as Cruel Network is, it's nearly impossible to completely hide the truth from the people at large, making a Masquerade is beyond possibility, even by the most tech-savvy of kings. That's not even mentioning the fact that many countries have been completely conquered by certain kings, who rule with an iron fist.
However, while they may not be able to hide it, they can certainly muddy the waters even further. Many kings, especially those in the US, choose to purposefully discredit, misinform, and misdirect the public, gaslighting them into not being certain of anything outside their world, with the first to do so, Eddy, coining the term "The Scam". Designed as a way to keep the people under them more easily controllable, many Kings have made a fragile agreement to lie to the public about the world around them, in order to better manipulate the population. These scary, and often absurd, threats and facts often lead to the general people growing frightened of the world beyond their borders; when coupled with the occasional robot or monster attack, these false truths seem all the more real and send people deeper into their delusion. And from the few who do know and do not act, they simply figure it as not their problem.
For the most part, information is vague and scattered, and oftentimes completely incorrect.
Underworld
Unlike much of the world, Demons and other assorted gribbly monsters are not totally out of place in America; ever since a permanent rift to the underworld was established within Endsville, TX, demons have become an increasingly common sight in the continental U.S. For the most part, while grotesque or monstrous, these creatures are typically harmless and are looking to improve their unlives in a place that isn't quintessentially hell. They come in all shapes and sizes, as well as temperaments. Mandy, the incredibly young CEO of Endsville Energy Solutions, was the one who first discovered the underworld of Bethalosos, or the courts of the damned, and later, pioneered the exploration of the numerous other underworlds. She would also later push for, and be the main force behind the Underworld Resident Legalization act, making the act of immigration legal for most circles of hell into the U.S.
The Underworld is quite vast and, for the most part, not of this world. Rather, it is a parallel dimension that seems to lurk somewhere in the strata of the earth, and consists of a honeycomb of different sub-worlds within them. From the Dead Worlds to the Courts of the Damned, to the Unknown, to the Land of the Dead, these numerous worlds are hard to reach, separated by perilous hazards and unfathomable depths. To navigate this byzantine dimension of monsters would require a master of Death, and most people have no clue as to what lies deeper within. Some say you might find the lost souls of the dead here, but no creature that has left there has ever truly been found.
Imaginary Friends
Across the globe, the ongoing phenomenon known as Imaginary Friends continue; these creatures are sprung into existence from the very thoughts of children and are given form by inner fancies. They can range from just about everything and anything physically, but seem to take on a mind of their own once created. There is little to no rhyme or reason to these creatures and their existence, and most children have no control over when they spawn, or what they look like..
Robots and Artificial Intelligence
While these things aren't exactly foreign to you (Afterall, Adult Co. does offer a line of robotic guards and your own house is protected by an army of automaton knight-bots), the whole idea of "sentient robots" and "AI" are exotic. Essentially, in the world of Cruel Network, there are numerous artificial lifeforms that either serve or work against the rulers of this war-torn world. While some are locked into one particular form, others can network themselves. While their power is somewhat limited due to the broken state of computer systems worldwide, they aren't exactly rare. Most people are familiar with robots and have at least heard or seen an AI once or twice, but they are relatively expensive.
The Moltar Array
Now, one may ask: How come there's a bunch of lights on the moon when I look up to it at night? And why is there so much scrap in orbit? And if aliens exist, why haven't they invaded? And if everything sucks here, why haven't we all left? All these questions, and more, are easily explained by the mad scientist known as Moltar, and his shadowy cabal. They are easily explained mostly because Moltar won't shut up about it on his talk show.
Early, during the initial rise of many kings, Moltar had freshly defeated the semi-heroic Space Ghost by trapping him in an AV closet when he called up- to the Moon- the greatest minds of the world to take over the earth. What he got was mostly a rabble of insane mad scientists and displaced peoples who he accepted with minimal explanation needed. Once staffed by his new legion of honorary Mooninites, he and Dr. Weird spearheaded a massive orbital array, designed to conquer the earth! It was only when it was finished, however, that they realized by building it on the dark side of the moon, it had effectively been built facing the wrong way. So, Moltar vented his frustration out upon the ceaseless legions of invading aliens that had begun combat over the planet Earth. This resulted in the rapid destruction of many of these fleets, sending their remains crashing down to Earth.
Nowadays, Moltar mostly uses it to blow up any aliens dumb enough to come close to Earth, technically ruling it over as the Overlord of the moon, as well as broadcasting his local (as in, the Local Arm) talk show.
Magic
Magic is odd. There are a great many types of it and a great many practitioners. Of those you know, there seem to be three distinct "schools" of magic: Weird, Wild and Worldly. Weird magic, for all intents and purposes, seems to have nothing in common with one another and can range from magic-dodgeball throwing to turning people inside out. What is known, however, is that it typically drives the user absolutely insane. The greater the power, the more deranged the individual.
Wild seems to draw life out of the universe itself, or in some cases, other people. Here is where the more mystic and seemingly unknowable powers are born, from imbuing the mighty Shen Gong Wu with power, call upon the incantations of Dr. Orpheus or perhaps even that of Aku. It is intrinsic, and it can take years of meditation to fully comprehend it.
Finally, Worldly draws power from the life force of the world and people around you. Called Mana by many, it can enhance and invigorate the powers of the other two, although it is much harder to channel and create. Worldly magic can draw power from not just earth, however, as many forms of underworld magic draw upon its accursed plains, while the mystic Anodites and Charmcaster draw upon the energy of the nearly limitless dimension of Ledgerdomain.
Basically, Weird magic is easy but leads to Madness and Sadness, Wild magic is hard and takes time to master, and Worldly can make either of the others a lot easier by using Mana as a shortcut.
Nanites
You don't know much about them; but from what you can tell, just about everyone's got some in them. They're tiny machines that mess around with DNA, and do all sorts of awful things when activated.
Aliens
They exist, evidently. During your… personal time off, evidently a large menagerie of aliens tried to invade the earth, only to run into the classic three-stooges problem. Too many warlords, not enough planet Earth. However, due to the Moltar Array's sudden activation, nearly all of these wannabe invaders either left town or went down with their ship, literally. Many of them are hiding out still, and are either planning for another go at invading, building up alliances with their forces, or just trying to survive. Or they're dead. In either case, you know for certain that the Government is at war with those weird crystal people up north, and that they're constantly reminding everyone to be vigilant. They've made some special forces entirely dedicated to fighting the threat, and other notable groups around the world want either the Alien's tech or the Aliens themselves for numerous different reasons.
The Government
It exists, still. But to what capacity, you aren't certain. Well, at least the United States Government is still around. Who else would be fighting all the aliens or the occasional invasion from Hector Con Carne? As for the rest of the world, you're not quite certain. Only time will tell if they're still standing.
Paradoxes
With all the time travel episodes that happened in Cartoon Network history, are you really gonna complain about paradoxes? Sure they exist, but it's typically better not to engage. After all, you don't wanna be written out of history, do you?
Now, the world is quite different from our own. Heck, it's even more different than that of DVV: Gridlocked. The world is in a tumultuous, dangerous time, where the numerous villains all scramble for power and the secret to destroying their enemies. You'll learn about some of these powers in the upcoming categories.
Supers
Within America, although found-elsewhere, there are numerous Superheroes, and even more Super-villains. These people have the ability to go even further beyond the normal limits of humanity, whether it be from dastardly schemes, to simply picking up banks and flying away. All in all, they are a force to be reckoned with. With the overall collapse of most of the world, and subsequent rise of villainy, Supervilliains have quickly risen to prominence as especially wanted minions and lieutenants among the villains who can afford them. While there are few Superheros, or villains, capable of destroying massive swathes of land, their myriad abilities and skills make them very desirable.
Oftentimes, these villains have rather impressive followings, both in person and online. Many also fall under the power of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and obey its membership and ruling, while others may prefer to work free-lance, or are hired by one specific King. There is a growing divide in the US between the older generations of Villains, who practice a more refined form of adversarialism called "Arching", while the newer generation pays them little respect, and prefers to do as they please, when they please. Finally, there are the Adult Supervillians; this is a group that is on the decline at the moment, as with the destruction of the KND, their main adversary has been removed.
The Internet
Just like in the real world, The Internet is NOT a safe place. While it may be possible to run a smaller, closed circuit of computers within one's territory that is completely safe, accessing the online world-wide web entails a certain level of danger. If the current web in the real world is untrustworthy, then times it by ten, and include sentient programs that hate your guts, both metaphorically and physically. And that's not including the ever looming menace of Hyper-advanced AI's that prowl the web; While local AI's have given some measure of resistance, XANA is an ever-looming threat, as well as other AI that have escaped their confines. If you use the internet, do so with extreme caution, and a fire-wall or forty.
The Scam
In a world as deranged and twisted as Cruel Network is, it's nearly impossible to completely hide the truth from the people at large, making a Masquerade is beyond possibility, even by the most tech-savvy of kings. That's not even mentioning the fact that many countries have been completely conquered by certain kings, who rule with an iron fist.
However, while they may not be able to hide it, they can certainly muddy the waters even further. Many kings, especially those in the US, choose to purposefully discredit, misinform, and misdirect the public, gaslighting them into not being certain of anything outside their world, with the first to do so, Eddy, coining the term "The Scam". Designed as a way to keep the people under them more easily controllable, many Kings have made a fragile agreement to lie to the public about the world around them, in order to better manipulate the population. These scary, and often absurd, threats and facts often lead to the general people growing frightened of the world beyond their borders; when coupled with the occasional robot or monster attack, these false truths seem all the more real and send people deeper into their delusion. And from the few who do know and do not act, they simply figure it as not their problem.
For the most part, information is vague and scattered, and oftentimes completely incorrect.
Underworld
Unlike much of the world, Demons and other assorted gribbly monsters are not totally out of place in America; ever since a permanent rift to the underworld was established within Endsville, TX, demons have become an increasingly common sight in the continental U.S. For the most part, while grotesque or monstrous, these creatures are typically harmless and are looking to improve their unlives in a place that isn't quintessentially hell. They come in all shapes and sizes, as well as temperaments. Mandy, the incredibly young CEO of Endsville Energy Solutions, was the one who first discovered the underworld of Bethalosos, or the courts of the damned, and later, pioneered the exploration of the numerous other underworlds. She would also later push for, and be the main force behind the Underworld Resident Legalization act, making the act of immigration legal for most circles of hell into the U.S.
The Underworld is quite vast and, for the most part, not of this world. Rather, it is a parallel dimension that seems to lurk somewhere in the strata of the earth, and consists of a honeycomb of different sub-worlds within them. From the Dead Worlds to the Courts of the Damned, to the Unknown, to the Land of the Dead, these numerous worlds are hard to reach, separated by perilous hazards and unfathomable depths. To navigate this byzantine dimension of monsters would require a master of Death, and most people have no clue as to what lies deeper within. Some say you might find the lost souls of the dead here, but no creature that has left there has ever truly been found.
Imaginary Friends
Across the globe, the ongoing phenomenon known as Imaginary Friends continue; these creatures are sprung into existence from the very thoughts of children and are given form by inner fancies. They can range from just about everything and anything physically, but seem to take on a mind of their own once created. There is little to no rhyme or reason to these creatures and their existence, and most children have no control over when they spawn, or what they look like..
Robots and Artificial Intelligence
While these things aren't exactly foreign to you (Afterall, Adult Co. does offer a line of robotic guards and your own house is protected by an army of automaton knight-bots), the whole idea of "sentient robots" and "AI" are exotic. Essentially, in the world of Cruel Network, there are numerous artificial lifeforms that either serve or work against the rulers of this war-torn world. While some are locked into one particular form, others can network themselves. While their power is somewhat limited due to the broken state of computer systems worldwide, they aren't exactly rare. Most people are familiar with robots and have at least heard or seen an AI once or twice, but they are relatively expensive.
The Moltar Array
Now, one may ask: How come there's a bunch of lights on the moon when I look up to it at night? And why is there so much scrap in orbit? And if aliens exist, why haven't they invaded? And if everything sucks here, why haven't we all left? All these questions, and more, are easily explained by the mad scientist known as Moltar, and his shadowy cabal. They are easily explained mostly because Moltar won't shut up about it on his talk show.
Early, during the initial rise of many kings, Moltar had freshly defeated the semi-heroic Space Ghost by trapping him in an AV closet when he called up- to the Moon- the greatest minds of the world to take over the earth. What he got was mostly a rabble of insane mad scientists and displaced peoples who he accepted with minimal explanation needed. Once staffed by his new legion of honorary Mooninites, he and Dr. Weird spearheaded a massive orbital array, designed to conquer the earth! It was only when it was finished, however, that they realized by building it on the dark side of the moon, it had effectively been built facing the wrong way. So, Moltar vented his frustration out upon the ceaseless legions of invading aliens that had begun combat over the planet Earth. This resulted in the rapid destruction of many of these fleets, sending their remains crashing down to Earth.
Nowadays, Moltar mostly uses it to blow up any aliens dumb enough to come close to Earth, technically ruling it over as the Overlord of the moon, as well as broadcasting his local (as in, the Local Arm) talk show.
Magic
Magic is odd. There are a great many types of it and a great many practitioners. Of those you know, there seem to be three distinct "schools" of magic: Weird, Wild and Worldly. Weird magic, for all intents and purposes, seems to have nothing in common with one another and can range from magic-dodgeball throwing to turning people inside out. What is known, however, is that it typically drives the user absolutely insane. The greater the power, the more deranged the individual.
Wild seems to draw life out of the universe itself, or in some cases, other people. Here is where the more mystic and seemingly unknowable powers are born, from imbuing the mighty Shen Gong Wu with power, call upon the incantations of Dr. Orpheus or perhaps even that of Aku. It is intrinsic, and it can take years of meditation to fully comprehend it.
Finally, Worldly draws power from the life force of the world and people around you. Called Mana by many, it can enhance and invigorate the powers of the other two, although it is much harder to channel and create. Worldly magic can draw power from not just earth, however, as many forms of underworld magic draw upon its accursed plains, while the mystic Anodites and Charmcaster draw upon the energy of the nearly limitless dimension of Ledgerdomain.
Basically, Weird magic is easy but leads to Madness and Sadness, Wild magic is hard and takes time to master, and Worldly can make either of the others a lot easier by using Mana as a shortcut.
Nanites
You don't know much about them; but from what you can tell, just about everyone's got some in them. They're tiny machines that mess around with DNA, and do all sorts of awful things when activated.
Aliens
They exist, evidently. During your… personal time off, evidently a large menagerie of aliens tried to invade the earth, only to run into the classic three-stooges problem. Too many warlords, not enough planet Earth. However, due to the Moltar Array's sudden activation, nearly all of these wannabe invaders either left town or went down with their ship, literally. Many of them are hiding out still, and are either planning for another go at invading, building up alliances with their forces, or just trying to survive. Or they're dead. In either case, you know for certain that the Government is at war with those weird crystal people up north, and that they're constantly reminding everyone to be vigilant. They've made some special forces entirely dedicated to fighting the threat, and other notable groups around the world want either the Alien's tech or the Aliens themselves for numerous different reasons.
The Government
It exists, still. But to what capacity, you aren't certain. Well, at least the United States Government is still around. Who else would be fighting all the aliens or the occasional invasion from Hector Con Carne? As for the rest of the world, you're not quite certain. Only time will tell if they're still standing.
Paradoxes
With all the time travel episodes that happened in Cartoon Network history, are you really gonna complain about paradoxes? Sure they exist, but it's typically better not to engage. After all, you don't wanna be written out of history, do you?
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Character Sheet (FQ)
HERO STAT PAGE
8/20
FATHER
Martial: 37 You are one of the toughest people you know, and your powers can almost feel sorta-made up. Flight, pyrokinesis, cloning, shapeshifting, sword fighting, teleportation, heck, you're pretty sure you can even do other crazy stuff. If it's in your reach, it's probably in for a bad time.
Diplomacy : 21 You have a sort of fatherly charisma and authoritative attitude that can really draw people in.
Stewardship: 20 You own your own company! Although, your slogan is Don't spare the Rod AND spoil the child, so maybe your business sense could use some work.
Intrigue: 27 You consider yourself a crafty man. However, the fact that most of your experience is fighting children might make you a little biased.
Learning: 19 Book smart, you're not exactly. Growing up, you were mostly homeschooled on a combination of rambling evil monologues and crash courses in giant robot construction. Not a bad cook though!
Occult: 15 Frankly, you know something isn't precisely… normal about you and your family. But you've also never really thought about how it works. There's probably some potential in there, but for now it remains raw and untapped like unbrewed coffee grounds.
TRAITS
- I am MOST dissatisfied: Father doesn't tolerate failure, and he always comes back. After a crit fail, Father gains +10 to whatever stat the crit fail was in. This lasts the subsequent turn after the failure before ending.
- Fiery Temper: +5 to Diplomacy Rolls against targets that have also been the target of successful Martial Actions the turn prior.
- Feel the Heat: +5 to Martial actions when personally fighting; -5 to Martial actions instead when fighting enemies utilizing cryo or cold weaponry.
Rage Mechanic:
Father has a rage meter that is increased by certain actions. Based on his level, he may gain bonuses, unlock special actions or quest missions. Father's Rage Meter changes level as he gains and loses Rage Points. Rage Points are gained through different actions and events.
0- 10 = Cold Shoulder: Gain -15 to Martial, but +10 to Intrigue and Learning. Father is in his most calculating and vindictive mood, as he grows almost icy.
11 - 30 = Room Temperature: No effects. Father considers this his baseline when not angry about anything.
31 - 40 = Warm and Fuzzy: +5 to Diplomacy, -5 Intrigue. Father is in his most friendly state and is willing to work with people.
41 - 50 = Smoldering Coals: +5 to Stewardship, -5 Diplomacy. Father in his most industrious and productive state, and seeks to complete his goals.
51 - 60 = Blistering Anger: -5 Diplomacy, +5 Martial. Father is in a war state, and will try to bring his fight right to the enemy.
61 - 70 = Burning Rage: -10 to Diplomacy and Intrigue, +15 to Martial. Father is practically ready to explode. He's had it up to here with this cockamamy chicanery, and it better stop RIGHT NOW.
70+ = Incandescent Inferno: -10 to Stewardship, -10 to Diplomacy, -10 Learning, -10 to Intrigue, +30 to Martial. He's had it UP TO HERE with all of you! Father is an uncontrollable, nearly inconsolable rage, but can go toe to toe with practically anyone within the continent. He may be a danger to everything around him at this point.
HANK HILL
Martial: 14 He's gonna kick your ass! Hank played football through highschool, and he coulda gone pro if it wasn't for his something or other. He is still just a regular guy though.
Diplomacy: 23 While not precisely diplomatic, Hank has a charisma that helps him find solutions in his own unique way.
Stewardship: 22 Under his care, Hank made Strickland Propane the most successful propane store in West Texas.
Intrigue: 10 Hank may not be the most adaptable fellow, but he has a way of getting to the bottom of things.
Learning: 19 Hank actually has his high school degree, which automatically ranks him among your most educated employees.
Occult: 0 Besides the odd ghost or angel, Hank has no experience with the paranormal.
TRAITS
- Well, Howdy There!: A little Texan hospitality goes a long way. +5 to Diplomacy rolls when interacting with someone for the first time
- Propane and Propane Accessories: +10 to any rolls involving propane or propane accessories
- Adult to Adult: Hank still believes you're a good man, even if it'll take some work to understand you. Hank will not lose loyalty from being assigned to supervillainous actions, provided they do not harm ordinary people. He's willing to step outside his comfort zone, but not compromise his morals.
In addition, you may now assign Hank using a Personal Action to "Shadow" Father on one of his own Personals, including Arch actions, adding twice his loyalty bonus from a QM chosen relevant stat to all involved rolls. Doing this will cause this trait to evolve with new bonuses over time.
LOYALTY: 50%
- Base 20%
- Made Me CEO! + 30%
- Damn Good Barbecue +3%
- Hates Kids -3%
DAPHNE BLAKE
Martial: 16 On top of piano, dancing, charm school, and solving mysteries, Daph managed to squeeze in a few karate lessons in between.
Diplomacy: 27 As the debutante daughter of the wealthiest family in Crystal Cove, Daphne's mastered the art of pretending to like people at fancy social gatherings.
Stewardship: 17 Her best subject in school was Civics. Shockingly useful for keeping a bunch of easily distracted teenagers on task. Daddy always wanted her to inherit the family business.
Intrigue: 17 Mysteries don't solve themselves. And she does it all in heels too.
Learning: 14 Velma was always the brainy one, but Daph's a pretty smart cookie.
Occult: 0 Miner 49er, Spooky Space Kook, Captain Cutler's Ghost, it's all the same. Just another guy in a mask.
TRAITS:
- Jeepers!: Daphne does her best work as part of a gang. She gains a +1 bonus to both Intrigue and Diplomacy per friendly unit accompanying her.
- Danger Prone: There's no better way of finding clues than literally stumbling into them. When Daphne fails an intrigue roll, she still clumsily uncovers an important piece of information that reduces the DC by 5 for every 10 points under the target DC she rolled (maximum 25).
- Let's see who's really behind all this: Daphne is a seasoned sleuth, but you can only unmask so many monsters before you start getting cynical of the supernatural. Daphne has +15 Intrigue bonus when supernatural entities are apparently involved, but suffers a flat -25 to her Occult rolls in all circumstances. This malus may be reduced with time.
- Media Czar: This hero unit currently holds the Media Czar position. This unit does not take National Actions normally. Every turn, AdultCo may take a second Diplomacy National Action using their score in place of Father's plus the assigned hero unit's. Due to the responsibilities of the position, this unit may only take a Personal Action on even numbered turns.
- [Media Czar] Investigative Reporting: Daphne may choose to take an appropriate Intrigue national action instead of a Diplomacy one. As a rule of thumb, any Intrigue national that includes the word "Investigate" is fair game.
LOYALTY: 17%
- Base 20%
- Made Me Media Czar! +10%
- Hates Kids -5%
- Another Creepy Guy In A Mask -8%
TOILETNATOR
Martial: 14 (29) Despite being a complete failure, Tolienator has managed to defeat much more capable opponents through some combination of scrappiness and sheer dumb luck.
Diplomacy: 8 (23) For those that don't know him, Tolienator is… tolerable.
Stewardship: 10 (25) Despite what it seems, Tolienator did once run a fairly successful business. Once.
Intrigue: 6 (21) He can sneak through wipes, I guess.
Learning: 6 (21) He can be taught! Maybe!
Occult: 6 (21) Tolienator, despite his sucky appearance, has received the boon of an ancient god. An ancient god of toilets, but still, a god's a god!
Traits
- Porcelain Paladin: The Toiletnator has sworn a solemn oath to uphold the dignity and privacy of all people in the most, ahem, "vulnerable" moments of their lives. When acting in direct defense of bathrooms, the Almighty Protector of Potty's patron boon increases all of Toiletnator's base stats by 15 points.
- I Was ALWAYS Loyal: Toiletnator will take a functionally infinite amount of abuse from you. Unless you actually seriously betray him. Then he might be a little upset if he actually realises it's happened. Toiletnator's base Loyalty is always at 100%
- Down The Drain: 1% reduced chance of Critical Success OR Failure.
-Triskaidekaphobia: Ever since he has sworn Numbuh 13 as his enemy, Tolienator has made it his mission to defeat this great agent of the KND! If Tolienator rolls a 13 or a number divisible by 13 on a personal action, he must immediately switch that action to waging a personal attack on his sworn enemy.
LOYALTY: 100%
- Base 100%
IZZY EXPLOSIVO CATASTROPHE KALEIDOSCOPE
Martial: 25 As Canada's former eighth most wanted woman, Izzy has tango'd with the RCMP's finest, Chris McLean's worst, and just about every deadly critter known to man.. As such, she's a formidable one-woman force.
Diplomacy: 20 Izzy might be crazy, but it's the charismatic, cult-leader kind of crazy.
Stewardship: 12 The closest thing Izzy's had to a managerial experience was corraling a team of teenage reality TV stars. Actually a pretty impressive feat.
Intrigue: 29 If there's one thing Izzy loves, it's planning and manipulating.
Learning: 10 She never finished high school; but then again, she did get her GED
Occult: 2 Total Drama Productions, strangely, has had very little occult activity. Lucky for them, you suppose.
TRAITS::
- Ha Ha, I'm Psychotic!: +3 Intrigue against those who believe Izzy is crazy or utterly deranged. In order to trigger this effect, the target must know she is crazy.
- I Wanna Be Famous: Izzy's breaking out from Total Drama fame and starting to make a name for herself. Izzy gains +10 Diplomacy against her fans, or against leaders whose underlings are Izzy fanatics.
- Dethklok
LOYALTY: 20%
- Base 20%
HEX
Martial: 27 Fighting a war against an evil magic turtle, and then surviving in another dimension has made Hex a proficient fighter in his pursuit of power.
Diplomacy: 10 At his best, Hex can manage social relationships and even come off as charming. He does come off as cold or aloof to most though.
Stewardship: 15 As a former noble, Hex has some idea of how to properly lead and manage groups of people..
Intrigue: 24 In his long search for magical artifacts that would help restore his power, he has learned how to conceal his presence and spy from afar.
Learning: 28 Having spent long years in exile, from both his dimension and his niece, Hex has learned a great many fonts. He also has a doctorate.
Occult: 28 A master of the arcane, Hex is a full on wizard. While not the most powerful on Earth, he is more than respectable.
TRAITS:
- Seeker of Lost Knowledge: +4 to Occult rolls when searching for hidden or lost magical artifacts
- Scholar of the Arcane: +3 to Stewardship rolls when teaching or leading lesser wizards.
- Noble in Exile: Legerdomain does not release its grip so easily. Hex may receive visits and messages from Charmcaster.
- Strangers To Time: Hex has hit it off with his fellow immortal Skips. Though he still has much to learn about getting down to earth.
LOYALTY: 40%
- Base 20%
- Retired Supervillain +20%
PROFESSOR XXXL
Martial: 13 Though he never means harm to anyone, past experiences have taught him to keep a few mechanised war-machines handy.
Diplomacy: 7 Not his strong suit, but ice cream has a way of bringing people together.
Stewardship: 12 He's mostly focussed on the R&D side of things, but he can manage a warehouse or two.
Intrigue: 16 Surprisingly cunning. In a "throwing a surprise party" kind of way.
Learning: 31 Professor XXXL has more degrees than he can keep track of. He's only really proud of his Doctorate in Culinary Science though.
Occult: 0 The Professor is a man of science. He doesn't have time for dubious myths. Unless it concerns the legendary Fourth Flavour.
TRAITS:
- Ominously Benign: +20 to intrigue on actions which are actively beneficial for the target or unambiguously good; however all attempts to convince the target you are acting in their best interest if discovered are automatically failures.
- (Not So) Mad Food Scientist: +10 to Learning when studying Ice Cream, Snow Cones, or Ice Cream Cake.
LOYALTY: 20%
- Base: 20%
SKIPS
Martial: 20 Skips knows his way around a fight. Those burly forearms aren't for show.
Diplomacy: 15 Skips has an air of quiet authority about him. He's a man of few words, but when he speaks, people who know him tend to listen.
Stewardship: 15 Skips is a career handyman who can fix just about anything. Just don't ask him to touch a computer though.
Intrigue: 15 Skips is well-practised at keeping secrets. He's got a few of them he still hasn't shared.
Learning: 10 Skips never finished high school, but he's got a degree from the school of hard knocks.
Occult: 15 Skips's knowledge of magic consists largely of folk wisdom. He's rarely ever wrong though.
TRAITS:
- I've Seen This All Before: Skips is worldly and well-travelled. he knows a little bit of everything. That said, he isn't a researcher. +15 to Occult or Learning rolls that don't involve actual spellcasting or laboratory testing. (This applies to most tech-tree openers)
- Handyman: Skips's main trade. +10 to Stewardship rolls that involve maintenance, repairs, or mundane construction work.
- Strangers To Time: Skips has hit it off with his fellow immortal Hex. He's still a little wary of the wizard, but he's warming up to him.
LOYALTY: 30%
- Base 20%
- Don't ask what I do in the woods. +10%
ALEXIS WARRINGTON
Martial: 17 Alexis chalks her burly physique up to a childhood wrestling with her older sisters. Mental note: if you ever meet them, decline a handshake. One broken wrist is enough. 🔒
Diplomacy: 25 Say what you will about her methods. If she wants a quote from you, she gets a quote from you.
Stewardship: 18 Her leadership style can be… curt. But you can't argue with results. She could whip a gaggle of no-nothings into a well oiled news aggregating machine with military discipline.
Intrigue: 16 She prefers the direct approach, but sometimes it pays to be a little underhanded when you're digging up politicians' dirty laundry.
Learning: 15 A journalism degree doesn't quite explain how much Alexis knows about law, history, and miscellaneous antiquities. Maybe she took a few minors.
Occult: 🔒 Greek heritage or not, if you ask her about gods and monsters she'll pretend she didn't hear you.
TRAITS:
- Alter Ego: This unit has abilities which are locked behind a secret alter ego. Abilities and traits marked with a 🔒 are diminished while using this persona, and they will not roll using the full version unless they or somebody they care about is in immediate critical danger. Note that certain traits may be entirely invisible.
- Amazonian Physique: She regularly rearranges all the filing cabinets in her office. One handed. +3 Martial while performing feats of personal strength. 🔒
- Aletheian Lariat: As a crusading journalist, Alexis serves the ideal of truth above all else. Alexis gains +5 to Diplomacy rolls when interviewing, interrogating, or intimidating somebody to reveal their secrets. 🔒
- Lampedo's Scar: Alexis gains a +5 Martial bonus while using a bowstrung or javelin style ranged weapon.
- I Heed Not Your Bro Code: Alexis gains a flat +3 to rolls while working with women or subservient men. She gains a flat -3 while working with macho men or under any man's authority. Trait is assigned by majority in groups.
LOYALTY: 15%
- Base 20%
- Matriarchal Sensibilities -5%
MR. BLACK & MR. WHITE
Martial: 14 Despite regularly volunteering for supersoldier experiments at Area 51.1, all they have to show for it are those stupid rope implants.
Diplomacy: 17 Mr. White speaks seven languages! And Mr. Black speaks another six. It used to be seven, but nobody speaks Malaccan Creole anymore after the incident.
Stewardship: 8 These two are incurable slackers. They've lost track of multiple crashed spaceships on their lunch breaks.
Intrigue: 24 The government's men in black are trained experts in cloak & dagger operations. Which for these two mostly means tiptoeing around and wearing funny disguises.
Learning: 9 Rank and file government agents are expected to dress smart, not BE smart.
Occult: 0 Oh, no you want the other agency. We just deal with UFOs. I mean weather balloons.
TRAITS:
- I Blew Up Malaysia: When subtlety fails, Black & White escalate to ludicrous force. When Mr. Black & Mr. White critfail on an Intrigue action, they instead reroll using their Martial for the same target DC. Any degree of success results in a Critical Success as they finish the mission in the most bombastic, loud, and cover-blowing manner possible.
- We're With The Government: +3 bonus to Diplomacy rolls when interacting with law-abiding American citizens.
LOYALTY: 25%
- Base 20%
- Government Sanctioned +5%
8/20
FATHER
Martial: 37 You are one of the toughest people you know, and your powers can almost feel sorta-made up. Flight, pyrokinesis, cloning, shapeshifting, sword fighting, teleportation, heck, you're pretty sure you can even do other crazy stuff. If it's in your reach, it's probably in for a bad time.
Diplomacy : 21 You have a sort of fatherly charisma and authoritative attitude that can really draw people in.
Stewardship: 20 You own your own company! Although, your slogan is Don't spare the Rod AND spoil the child, so maybe your business sense could use some work.
Intrigue: 27 You consider yourself a crafty man. However, the fact that most of your experience is fighting children might make you a little biased.
Learning: 19 Book smart, you're not exactly. Growing up, you were mostly homeschooled on a combination of rambling evil monologues and crash courses in giant robot construction. Not a bad cook though!
Occult: 15 Frankly, you know something isn't precisely… normal about you and your family. But you've also never really thought about how it works. There's probably some potential in there, but for now it remains raw and untapped like unbrewed coffee grounds.
TRAITS
- I am MOST dissatisfied: Father doesn't tolerate failure, and he always comes back. After a crit fail, Father gains +10 to whatever stat the crit fail was in. This lasts the subsequent turn after the failure before ending.
- Fiery Temper: +5 to Diplomacy Rolls against targets that have also been the target of successful Martial Actions the turn prior.
- Feel the Heat: +5 to Martial actions when personally fighting; -5 to Martial actions instead when fighting enemies utilizing cryo or cold weaponry.
Rage Mechanic:
Father has a rage meter that is increased by certain actions. Based on his level, he may gain bonuses, unlock special actions or quest missions. Father's Rage Meter changes level as he gains and loses Rage Points. Rage Points are gained through different actions and events.
0- 10 = Cold Shoulder: Gain -15 to Martial, but +10 to Intrigue and Learning. Father is in his most calculating and vindictive mood, as he grows almost icy.
11 - 30 = Room Temperature: No effects. Father considers this his baseline when not angry about anything.
31 - 40 = Warm and Fuzzy: +5 to Diplomacy, -5 Intrigue. Father is in his most friendly state and is willing to work with people.
41 - 50 = Smoldering Coals: +5 to Stewardship, -5 Diplomacy. Father in his most industrious and productive state, and seeks to complete his goals.
51 - 60 = Blistering Anger: -5 Diplomacy, +5 Martial. Father is in a war state, and will try to bring his fight right to the enemy.
61 - 70 = Burning Rage: -10 to Diplomacy and Intrigue, +15 to Martial. Father is practically ready to explode. He's had it up to here with this cockamamy chicanery, and it better stop RIGHT NOW.
70+ = Incandescent Inferno: -10 to Stewardship, -10 to Diplomacy, -10 Learning, -10 to Intrigue, +30 to Martial. He's had it UP TO HERE with all of you! Father is an uncontrollable, nearly inconsolable rage, but can go toe to toe with practically anyone within the continent. He may be a danger to everything around him at this point.
HANK HILL
Martial: 14 He's gonna kick your ass! Hank played football through highschool, and he coulda gone pro if it wasn't for his something or other. He is still just a regular guy though.
Diplomacy: 23 While not precisely diplomatic, Hank has a charisma that helps him find solutions in his own unique way.
Stewardship: 22 Under his care, Hank made Strickland Propane the most successful propane store in West Texas.
Intrigue: 10 Hank may not be the most adaptable fellow, but he has a way of getting to the bottom of things.
Learning: 19 Hank actually has his high school degree, which automatically ranks him among your most educated employees.
Occult: 0 Besides the odd ghost or angel, Hank has no experience with the paranormal.
TRAITS
- Well, Howdy There!: A little Texan hospitality goes a long way. +5 to Diplomacy rolls when interacting with someone for the first time
- Propane and Propane Accessories: +10 to any rolls involving propane or propane accessories
- Adult to Adult: Hank still believes you're a good man, even if it'll take some work to understand you. Hank will not lose loyalty from being assigned to supervillainous actions, provided they do not harm ordinary people. He's willing to step outside his comfort zone, but not compromise his morals.
In addition, you may now assign Hank using a Personal Action to "Shadow" Father on one of his own Personals, including Arch actions, adding twice his loyalty bonus from a QM chosen relevant stat to all involved rolls. Doing this will cause this trait to evolve with new bonuses over time.
LOYALTY: 50%
- Base 20%
- Made Me CEO! + 30%
- Damn Good Barbecue +3%
- Hates Kids -3%
DAPHNE BLAKE
Martial: 16 On top of piano, dancing, charm school, and solving mysteries, Daph managed to squeeze in a few karate lessons in between.
Diplomacy: 27 As the debutante daughter of the wealthiest family in Crystal Cove, Daphne's mastered the art of pretending to like people at fancy social gatherings.
Stewardship: 17 Her best subject in school was Civics. Shockingly useful for keeping a bunch of easily distracted teenagers on task. Daddy always wanted her to inherit the family business.
Intrigue: 17 Mysteries don't solve themselves. And she does it all in heels too.
Learning: 14 Velma was always the brainy one, but Daph's a pretty smart cookie.
Occult: 0 Miner 49er, Spooky Space Kook, Captain Cutler's Ghost, it's all the same. Just another guy in a mask.
TRAITS:
- Jeepers!: Daphne does her best work as part of a gang. She gains a +1 bonus to both Intrigue and Diplomacy per friendly unit accompanying her.
- Danger Prone: There's no better way of finding clues than literally stumbling into them. When Daphne fails an intrigue roll, she still clumsily uncovers an important piece of information that reduces the DC by 5 for every 10 points under the target DC she rolled (maximum 25).
- Let's see who's really behind all this: Daphne is a seasoned sleuth, but you can only unmask so many monsters before you start getting cynical of the supernatural. Daphne has +15 Intrigue bonus when supernatural entities are apparently involved, but suffers a flat -25 to her Occult rolls in all circumstances. This malus may be reduced with time.
- Media Czar: This hero unit currently holds the Media Czar position. This unit does not take National Actions normally. Every turn, AdultCo may take a second Diplomacy National Action using their score in place of Father's plus the assigned hero unit's. Due to the responsibilities of the position, this unit may only take a Personal Action on even numbered turns.
- [Media Czar] Investigative Reporting: Daphne may choose to take an appropriate Intrigue national action instead of a Diplomacy one. As a rule of thumb, any Intrigue national that includes the word "Investigate" is fair game.
LOYALTY: 17%
- Base 20%
- Made Me Media Czar! +10%
- Hates Kids -5%
- Another Creepy Guy In A Mask -8%
TOILETNATOR
Martial: 14 (29) Despite being a complete failure, Tolienator has managed to defeat much more capable opponents through some combination of scrappiness and sheer dumb luck.
Diplomacy: 8 (23) For those that don't know him, Tolienator is… tolerable.
Stewardship: 10 (25) Despite what it seems, Tolienator did once run a fairly successful business. Once.
Intrigue: 6 (21) He can sneak through wipes, I guess.
Learning: 6 (21) He can be taught! Maybe!
Occult: 6 (21) Tolienator, despite his sucky appearance, has received the boon of an ancient god. An ancient god of toilets, but still, a god's a god!
Traits
- Porcelain Paladin: The Toiletnator has sworn a solemn oath to uphold the dignity and privacy of all people in the most, ahem, "vulnerable" moments of their lives. When acting in direct defense of bathrooms, the Almighty Protector of Potty's patron boon increases all of Toiletnator's base stats by 15 points.
- I Was ALWAYS Loyal: Toiletnator will take a functionally infinite amount of abuse from you. Unless you actually seriously betray him. Then he might be a little upset if he actually realises it's happened. Toiletnator's base Loyalty is always at 100%
- Down The Drain: 1% reduced chance of Critical Success OR Failure.
-Triskaidekaphobia: Ever since he has sworn Numbuh 13 as his enemy, Tolienator has made it his mission to defeat this great agent of the KND! If Tolienator rolls a 13 or a number divisible by 13 on a personal action, he must immediately switch that action to waging a personal attack on his sworn enemy.
LOYALTY: 100%
- Base 100%
IZZY EXPLOSIVO CATASTROPHE KALEIDOSCOPE
Martial: 25 As Canada's former eighth most wanted woman, Izzy has tango'd with the RCMP's finest, Chris McLean's worst, and just about every deadly critter known to man.. As such, she's a formidable one-woman force.
Diplomacy: 20 Izzy might be crazy, but it's the charismatic, cult-leader kind of crazy.
Stewardship: 12 The closest thing Izzy's had to a managerial experience was corraling a team of teenage reality TV stars. Actually a pretty impressive feat.
Intrigue: 29 If there's one thing Izzy loves, it's planning and manipulating.
Learning: 10 She never finished high school; but then again, she did get her GED
Occult: 2 Total Drama Productions, strangely, has had very little occult activity. Lucky for them, you suppose.
TRAITS::
- Ha Ha, I'm Psychotic!: +3 Intrigue against those who believe Izzy is crazy or utterly deranged. In order to trigger this effect, the target must know she is crazy.
- I Wanna Be Famous: Izzy's breaking out from Total Drama fame and starting to make a name for herself. Izzy gains +10 Diplomacy against her fans, or against leaders whose underlings are Izzy fanatics.
- Dethklok
LOYALTY: 20%
- Base 20%
HEX
Martial: 27 Fighting a war against an evil magic turtle, and then surviving in another dimension has made Hex a proficient fighter in his pursuit of power.
Diplomacy: 10 At his best, Hex can manage social relationships and even come off as charming. He does come off as cold or aloof to most though.
Stewardship: 15 As a former noble, Hex has some idea of how to properly lead and manage groups of people..
Intrigue: 24 In his long search for magical artifacts that would help restore his power, he has learned how to conceal his presence and spy from afar.
Learning: 28 Having spent long years in exile, from both his dimension and his niece, Hex has learned a great many fonts. He also has a doctorate.
Occult: 28 A master of the arcane, Hex is a full on wizard. While not the most powerful on Earth, he is more than respectable.
TRAITS:
- Seeker of Lost Knowledge: +4 to Occult rolls when searching for hidden or lost magical artifacts
- Scholar of the Arcane: +3 to Stewardship rolls when teaching or leading lesser wizards.
- Noble in Exile: Legerdomain does not release its grip so easily. Hex may receive visits and messages from Charmcaster.
- Strangers To Time: Hex has hit it off with his fellow immortal Skips. Though he still has much to learn about getting down to earth.
LOYALTY: 40%
- Base 20%
- Retired Supervillain +20%
PROFESSOR XXXL
Martial: 13 Though he never means harm to anyone, past experiences have taught him to keep a few mechanised war-machines handy.
Diplomacy: 7 Not his strong suit, but ice cream has a way of bringing people together.
Stewardship: 12 He's mostly focussed on the R&D side of things, but he can manage a warehouse or two.
Intrigue: 16 Surprisingly cunning. In a "throwing a surprise party" kind of way.
Learning: 31 Professor XXXL has more degrees than he can keep track of. He's only really proud of his Doctorate in Culinary Science though.
Occult: 0 The Professor is a man of science. He doesn't have time for dubious myths. Unless it concerns the legendary Fourth Flavour.
TRAITS:
- Ominously Benign: +20 to intrigue on actions which are actively beneficial for the target or unambiguously good; however all attempts to convince the target you are acting in their best interest if discovered are automatically failures.
- (Not So) Mad Food Scientist: +10 to Learning when studying Ice Cream, Snow Cones, or Ice Cream Cake.
LOYALTY: 20%
- Base: 20%
SKIPS
Martial: 20 Skips knows his way around a fight. Those burly forearms aren't for show.
Diplomacy: 15 Skips has an air of quiet authority about him. He's a man of few words, but when he speaks, people who know him tend to listen.
Stewardship: 15 Skips is a career handyman who can fix just about anything. Just don't ask him to touch a computer though.
Intrigue: 15 Skips is well-practised at keeping secrets. He's got a few of them he still hasn't shared.
Learning: 10 Skips never finished high school, but he's got a degree from the school of hard knocks.
Occult: 15 Skips's knowledge of magic consists largely of folk wisdom. He's rarely ever wrong though.
TRAITS:
- I've Seen This All Before: Skips is worldly and well-travelled. he knows a little bit of everything. That said, he isn't a researcher. +15 to Occult or Learning rolls that don't involve actual spellcasting or laboratory testing. (This applies to most tech-tree openers)
- Handyman: Skips's main trade. +10 to Stewardship rolls that involve maintenance, repairs, or mundane construction work.
- Strangers To Time: Skips has hit it off with his fellow immortal Hex. He's still a little wary of the wizard, but he's warming up to him.
LOYALTY: 30%
- Base 20%
- Don't ask what I do in the woods. +10%
ALEXIS WARRINGTON
Martial: 17 Alexis chalks her burly physique up to a childhood wrestling with her older sisters. Mental note: if you ever meet them, decline a handshake. One broken wrist is enough. 🔒
Diplomacy: 25 Say what you will about her methods. If she wants a quote from you, she gets a quote from you.
Stewardship: 18 Her leadership style can be… curt. But you can't argue with results. She could whip a gaggle of no-nothings into a well oiled news aggregating machine with military discipline.
Intrigue: 16 She prefers the direct approach, but sometimes it pays to be a little underhanded when you're digging up politicians' dirty laundry.
Learning: 15 A journalism degree doesn't quite explain how much Alexis knows about law, history, and miscellaneous antiquities. Maybe she took a few minors.
Occult: 🔒 Greek heritage or not, if you ask her about gods and monsters she'll pretend she didn't hear you.
TRAITS:
- Alter Ego: This unit has abilities which are locked behind a secret alter ego. Abilities and traits marked with a 🔒 are diminished while using this persona, and they will not roll using the full version unless they or somebody they care about is in immediate critical danger. Note that certain traits may be entirely invisible.
- Amazonian Physique: She regularly rearranges all the filing cabinets in her office. One handed. +3 Martial while performing feats of personal strength. 🔒
- Aletheian Lariat: As a crusading journalist, Alexis serves the ideal of truth above all else. Alexis gains +5 to Diplomacy rolls when interviewing, interrogating, or intimidating somebody to reveal their secrets. 🔒
- Lampedo's Scar: Alexis gains a +5 Martial bonus while using a bowstrung or javelin style ranged weapon.
- I Heed Not Your Bro Code: Alexis gains a flat +3 to rolls while working with women or subservient men. She gains a flat -3 while working with macho men or under any man's authority. Trait is assigned by majority in groups.
LOYALTY: 15%
- Base 20%
- Matriarchal Sensibilities -5%
MR. BLACK & MR. WHITE
Martial: 14 Despite regularly volunteering for supersoldier experiments at Area 51.1, all they have to show for it are those stupid rope implants.
Diplomacy: 17 Mr. White speaks seven languages! And Mr. Black speaks another six. It used to be seven, but nobody speaks Malaccan Creole anymore after the incident.
Stewardship: 8 These two are incurable slackers. They've lost track of multiple crashed spaceships on their lunch breaks.
Intrigue: 24 The government's men in black are trained experts in cloak & dagger operations. Which for these two mostly means tiptoeing around and wearing funny disguises.
Learning: 9 Rank and file government agents are expected to dress smart, not BE smart.
Occult: 0 Oh, no you want the other agency. We just deal with UFOs. I mean weather balloons.
TRAITS:
- I Blew Up Malaysia: When subtlety fails, Black & White escalate to ludicrous force. When Mr. Black & Mr. White critfail on an Intrigue action, they instead reroll using their Martial for the same target DC. Any degree of success results in a Critical Success as they finish the mission in the most bombastic, loud, and cover-blowing manner possible.
- We're With The Government: +3 bonus to Diplomacy rolls when interacting with law-abiding American citizens.
LOYALTY: 25%
- Base 20%
- Government Sanctioned +5%
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The Rules (FQ)
RULES
Turn Mechanics
Each turn will be the efforts and work of you and your allies and enemies done over about two months in-game. Obviously, this makes each six turns a year, and certain actions may be time-sensitive in being unlocked or taken.
National actions are actions (duh) that bring you closer to your goals and ups your standing in the world overall. They range from spying on your neighbor, conducting schemes, building robots (or sewer systems) or inventing new and incredible technologies. These fall into six categories: Martial, Diplomacy, Stewardship, Intrigue, Learning or Occult. Actions start off limited but may be raised in the future. As shown below, these stats show how good somebody is at their respective stat.
The base roll for a national action goes as follows, rolling against a certain DC:
1d100+The relevant stat of Father + Relevant stat of Assigned hero + Any traits of the hero or Father + Loyalty Bonus + Omake
The base benefits and costs of a national action are listed in the action itself, but the narrative effects may or may not be tweaked depending on who you assigned to a task. For example, putting Hank on a Martial roll would leave Father to do much of the heavy lifting, as Hank is a regular guy. However, he would get a first hand experience in combat, and might learn how to kick an ass or two better, with possible results!
Through special actions, OPERATIONS, or time, the stats of Father and his Heros can increase!
Critical Rolls
Particularly successful or unsuccessful rolls are considered Critical Successes or Critical Failures. Your chance of critical success is defined as 1/10th of your chance of success, rounded to the nearest percent. Your chance of critical failure is now defined as 1/10 of the chance to fail, rounded to the nearest percent. To illustrate:
If you have a 20% chance of success: 8% chance crit fail, 2% chance crit success
If you have a 50% chance of success: 5% crit fail, 5% crit success
If you have 80%: 2% crit fail, 8% crit success
No matter what else might affect your crits, you cannot Critically Fail at a greater percentage than you could normally fail. If you have a CoS of 3%, your Crit Success chance cannot be more than 3% as well.
A critical success represents an action going as well as it could have, and grants extra benefits. A critical failure represents an action going as badly as it could have, and leads to some additional penalty beyond simply failing an action.
As always, what character you place on a roll can affect how it plays out and cause knock-on effects. An AI critting on a Internet roll for example is likely to provide a much more impressive breakthrough than a spy assigned to the same action, and indeed a spy's crit success bonus might have more to do with hiding your Internet activity than expanding it.
As Learning actions tend to have very specialized categories without easily-transferable skills, learning actions by default have a 5% increased crit failure chance if the unit assigned is not a specialist in that area. This applies to both councilors and heroes.
Bare Failures
Bare failures occur when you miss a roll by 10 or less. Narratively, you nearly succeeded but were stymied in some small but critical way. On a bare failure, the DC of the action is halved, and you may attempt it again next turn.
If an action is neither a success, a crit success, a bare failure, nor a critical failure, it is a normal Failure. Generally speaking, nothing happens.
(Punch Time) Explosions
If you roll a crit success, you roll another d100 as an explosion, with the same crit success threshold. On another crit success, it becomes a double crit. A theoretical triple crit is again possible, and so on. Each successive crit threshold causes increasingly ludicrous degrees of success.
There are no crit failure explosions.
Personal Actions
Personal actions are actions that each individual hero unit can attempt per turn. Normally, these are simple things that range from talking to people, social networking, meeting up, and trying to improve relationships, or even something as mundane as seeing a movie. These actions may potentially unlock new research options or hero units, as well as increase your (minion's) employees' loyalty.
A Hero unit may be assigned to a single national action and hero action per turn. This will add their relevant stat value to the roll.
As Father, you will have a total of four personal actions per turn. They may be spent as you wish, but if you so choose you can burn three of your personal actions on giving a project your "special attention". This means that we will roll for the action twice, with relevant modifiers included, and take the better of the two rolls.
For most normal personal actions, a flat 1d100 will be rolled, with higher numbers indicating a greater degree of success. While 'critical failure' and 'critical success' are not specifically defined, rolling extremely high or extremely low will still cause the action to go as well or as poorly as it possibly could have. Particularly dangerous or chaotic personals will be signposted.
HERO Units!
Whether or not they are heroes is non-applicable; they all tend to serve under you, and will carry out your bidding as commanded. Sure, you have all the ice-cream men, office workers and minions to keep the money coming in, Heroes are the cool and awesome (and recognizasble) people that get things done!
You'll start off the quest with two Heroes; The reliable Hank Hill and the absolutely unreliable Tolienator (He was camping on your yard.) But over time, you'll be able to get some others to your cause, sometimes through straightforward actions such as Diplomacy, and other times you'll need to do some Questing or send some off to Operations. Hey, maybe even some can be gotten in your personal actions! Maybe!
However, the heroes under your employ are NOT static, and will respond to your actions as they happen, and may act differently under your rage states. Being an absolutely unending rage-monger who kicks puppies and enslaves the children will probably not be seen as very positive by most. Some like that sorta stuff, I guess. But most if treated poorly will just straight up leave, if not outright betray you! Some heroes if treated nicely, however, will increase their loyalty, and perhaps unlock some new perks or traits. Snazzy, right? Some people might just be too crazy to please, but may bring other benefits. That candy pirate might be rather stringy about "not being so oppressive" but he does bring an acute business acumen.
Some Heroes also have preferences that emerge over time; putting them on actions that they enjoy is likely to boost their opinion, while the opposite will do the opposite, obviously. If they really hate an action, their preference might not let them do it outright!
OPINION
All of your hero units will have an opinion value assigned to them that reflects how well they look upon you and how willing they are to do as you ask. For most units, this starts at 0 and can range from -100 to 100. A value of 0 to -25 indicates that the unit mildly dislikes you- nothing too serious for now, and it won't cause any harmful actions against you, but you might want to watch out to make sure it doesn't get worse. At -25 and beyond they will actively start hating you, and may make moves to pack up and leave at the earliest possible opportunity. Values of -75 or worse are when they will probably start to contemplate murder- at this point they deeply despise you and will actively attempt to work against you. Conversely, values above 25 will have them consider you a mild acquaintance, above 50 as a friend, and above 75 will reach the sort of trust it takes years of camaraderie to earn.
Even an opinion of 100 might not be enough to convince your units to do certain things- if your own mother came to you and asked you to pick up a gun and invade Spain single handedly, for example, you'd probably still say no even if you did like her. Character preferences can be mitigated by high opinion, but they will still have their own minds and can still say no to things that deeply violate their beliefs, common sense, or well-being.
Various modifiers can act upon this. An intern you hire on may have a +15 modifier for giving them a job they really need, while a government employee could have a -20 modifier for you flouting the government's authority. Modifiers like these are permanent until some event removes or alters them- the government employee won't change too much just because you invite him to a few cocktail parties, for instance, but if you prove to him that his loyalty is genuinely deserved he might lose the malus.
Pay attention to your heroes' Preferences! Forcing someone to work on a job they despise will give them a mild malus that will decay in a few months… unless you actively force them to keep working on that, in which case the modifiers stack, and the time it takes to remove will increase. Hiring a botanist and forcing them to work on organic chemistry will not go over well!
There's an advantage to keeping your heroes as loyal to you as possible. When making a roll, their loyalty will be reflected in a bonus modifier. A rating of -25 to 0 or 0 to 25 gives you an additional 10% of their relevant stat for that roll either subtracted or added, respectively. 25-49 will give you 15% added, 50-74 20%, and 75-100 25%. Numbers will be rounded down to the nearest whole.
If you have a hero with an Intrigue of 32 and a Loyalty of 15, they will gain a 32*0.1 rounded down bonus, or 3. The total roll will be:
1d100 + Father's Intrigue + 32 + (32*.1=3.2, rounded down to 3) + any other relevant modifiers
Free Agents:
Free agents are a lot like Heroes, but are a bit more… Transient. Occasionally, through your actions, or the actions of others, or sometimes entirely at random, Free Agents will wander through your territory. While there, they may be friendly or hostile. In either case, they will provide a bonus or malus to your actions. In addition, they will take actions as well. Sometimes, you may be able to direct them to some degree, while others, they might take actions against you. You may take martial actions to try and remove them, or diplomatic actions to convince them to do things for you.
$$$$FUNDS$$$$
You're rich! Well, rich enough. Grandfather left an inheritance, and you're a right businessman yourself. For now, don't worry too much about funds. However, Money might not go as far as it used to, and may or may not even be accepted in some areas! Heck, it might not even be money proper! Maybe it's candy!
MY STUFF: FQ: My Stuff!
Your stuff! You like stuff, most people do. Some items will be one use, while others will be given to different characters for bonuses. When you get some stuff, you'll get a snazzy Google doc page!
Fanart and Omakes
OMAKES/Fanart:
Omakes written will provide XP, which will be awarded depending on relevancy and overall quality of the Omake or art. In exchange for a 1000 XP, you may ask a direct question to Father which he would know in the universe. For example, you could ask what happened to The Interesting Twins from Underneath the Mountain, or things of that nature. Note, in asking that question, would only be within Father's ability to remember or know.
In addition, for particularly good Omakes, we may directly reward bonuses that can be used for plans in the future. We will be keeping track of them in a side document.
If you write an omake that is good, entertaining, and doesn't conflict with the quest, we may put it into the Canon Threadmarks! 'Canon' omakes would be stories that could actually take place in the quest's universe, and more importantly, can provide rumors that you could potentially act on. Got a favorite minor character that you really want to show up? Write an omake about them! With a little bit of tweaking to ensure it's canonical, your character may very well be available as a hero unit in the future! Of course, certain characters will be held in reserve, so writing an omake will not guarantee their fate- some characters are off doing their own thing, and some of them are dead.
Non-canon omakes would be just for fun. Have you got an amusing story idea, or wondered what would happen if the quest was taken in a different way? Write something up and you can earn some XP! This will be completely separate from the quest though, and have absolutely no bearing on any future events.
Fanart will also earn you a bonus, but it's got to be at least mostly relevant to the quest. Your picture of Thanos fighting Goku might be awesome, but it won't be awarded any XP (But a picture of Uncle Grandpa fighting Black Hat might). High-quality non-content will be given some XP, though not as much as fanart or omakes, and we reserve the right to stop this if it looks like things are getting spammy.
POSITIONS
In a new mechanic unique to Fatherquest, players can unlock additional national actions by selecting Hero units to fill key Positions. Positions work by placing a hero into a position (Media Czar, Head of Magical Affairs, Etc). Once a unit is selected to fill a Position, you may then take any actions marked with their specific positions tag. Actions taken by Position heroes do not roll with Father's National bonus, but rather, add the relevant stat of Position hero to that of the hero assigned to the action. In addition, Heroes in Positions may not be assigned to any actions as a hero normally would and may not take personal a personal action every other turn.
Heroes may be assigned to positions by a personal action by Father, or taken away via personal action by Father. Position Actions may still have other heroes assigned to them as per normal hero assignment rules. Once a unit is selected to fill a Position, you may then take any actions marked with their specific positions tag.
"Arching" Actions
Through your actions, you have acquired your first arch-enemy! These are certain individuals who either have it out for you or one of your hero units in particular, and will sometimes take actions to make your lives more miserable. Fortunately, you have ways to fight back! ARCHING ACTIONS are special rolls you can take during a turn to try and strike back at the miserable miscreants who are making your life harder! They can either enact personal schemes of their own, or take actions to make your National Actions more difficult!
You may take one in place of a national action that turn to gain the benefit of both Father's roll and your relevant hero's stat, or as a personal action to only add your relevant hero's stats to a 1d100 roll. The arch will contest this with a roll of their own!
Arch-enemies are recurring foes that will continually try to face your Hero Units in some form of combat. They will occasionally interfere with actions you send their foes on, giving a penalty to the National Action heroes are performing, beginning their own assault, or inserting themselves into a quest their foe is on.
It's far from all bad however! Facing an Arch-enemy is the surest way to continue a character's own development, improving stats, unlocking traits, and helping them to grow as a person. A potentially evil person.
In addition to dealing with them as they make their moves, you can also send the relevant Hero on a Nemesis action- to track down, fight, or otherwise face their arch-enemy, progressing their own story, preventing their arch-enemy from bothering them for some time, or even unlocking new Quests and other rewards!
Credit for the system goes to my friends on the Doofquest Team! Most of this is their ruleset, and ok'd for my use by them! Massive kudos!
Turn Mechanics
Each turn will be the efforts and work of you and your allies and enemies done over about two months in-game. Obviously, this makes each six turns a year, and certain actions may be time-sensitive in being unlocked or taken.
National actions are actions (duh) that bring you closer to your goals and ups your standing in the world overall. They range from spying on your neighbor, conducting schemes, building robots (or sewer systems) or inventing new and incredible technologies. These fall into six categories: Martial, Diplomacy, Stewardship, Intrigue, Learning or Occult. Actions start off limited but may be raised in the future. As shown below, these stats show how good somebody is at their respective stat.
The base roll for a national action goes as follows, rolling against a certain DC:
1d100+The relevant stat of Father + Relevant stat of Assigned hero + Any traits of the hero or Father + Loyalty Bonus + Omake
The base benefits and costs of a national action are listed in the action itself, but the narrative effects may or may not be tweaked depending on who you assigned to a task. For example, putting Hank on a Martial roll would leave Father to do much of the heavy lifting, as Hank is a regular guy. However, he would get a first hand experience in combat, and might learn how to kick an ass or two better, with possible results!
Through special actions, OPERATIONS, or time, the stats of Father and his Heros can increase!
Critical Rolls
Particularly successful or unsuccessful rolls are considered Critical Successes or Critical Failures. Your chance of critical success is defined as 1/10th of your chance of success, rounded to the nearest percent. Your chance of critical failure is now defined as 1/10 of the chance to fail, rounded to the nearest percent. To illustrate:
If you have a 20% chance of success: 8% chance crit fail, 2% chance crit success
If you have a 50% chance of success: 5% crit fail, 5% crit success
If you have 80%: 2% crit fail, 8% crit success
No matter what else might affect your crits, you cannot Critically Fail at a greater percentage than you could normally fail. If you have a CoS of 3%, your Crit Success chance cannot be more than 3% as well.
A critical success represents an action going as well as it could have, and grants extra benefits. A critical failure represents an action going as badly as it could have, and leads to some additional penalty beyond simply failing an action.
As always, what character you place on a roll can affect how it plays out and cause knock-on effects. An AI critting on a Internet roll for example is likely to provide a much more impressive breakthrough than a spy assigned to the same action, and indeed a spy's crit success bonus might have more to do with hiding your Internet activity than expanding it.
As Learning actions tend to have very specialized categories without easily-transferable skills, learning actions by default have a 5% increased crit failure chance if the unit assigned is not a specialist in that area. This applies to both councilors and heroes.
Bare Failures
Bare failures occur when you miss a roll by 10 or less. Narratively, you nearly succeeded but were stymied in some small but critical way. On a bare failure, the DC of the action is halved, and you may attempt it again next turn.
If an action is neither a success, a crit success, a bare failure, nor a critical failure, it is a normal Failure. Generally speaking, nothing happens.
(Punch Time) Explosions
If you roll a crit success, you roll another d100 as an explosion, with the same crit success threshold. On another crit success, it becomes a double crit. A theoretical triple crit is again possible, and so on. Each successive crit threshold causes increasingly ludicrous degrees of success.
There are no crit failure explosions.
Personal Actions
Personal actions are actions that each individual hero unit can attempt per turn. Normally, these are simple things that range from talking to people, social networking, meeting up, and trying to improve relationships, or even something as mundane as seeing a movie. These actions may potentially unlock new research options or hero units, as well as increase your (minion's) employees' loyalty.
A Hero unit may be assigned to a single national action and hero action per turn. This will add their relevant stat value to the roll.
As Father, you will have a total of four personal actions per turn. They may be spent as you wish, but if you so choose you can burn three of your personal actions on giving a project your "special attention". This means that we will roll for the action twice, with relevant modifiers included, and take the better of the two rolls.
For most normal personal actions, a flat 1d100 will be rolled, with higher numbers indicating a greater degree of success. While 'critical failure' and 'critical success' are not specifically defined, rolling extremely high or extremely low will still cause the action to go as well or as poorly as it possibly could have. Particularly dangerous or chaotic personals will be signposted.
HERO Units!
Whether or not they are heroes is non-applicable; they all tend to serve under you, and will carry out your bidding as commanded. Sure, you have all the ice-cream men, office workers and minions to keep the money coming in, Heroes are the cool and awesome (and recognizasble) people that get things done!
You'll start off the quest with two Heroes; The reliable Hank Hill and the absolutely unreliable Tolienator (He was camping on your yard.) But over time, you'll be able to get some others to your cause, sometimes through straightforward actions such as Diplomacy, and other times you'll need to do some Questing or send some off to Operations. Hey, maybe even some can be gotten in your personal actions! Maybe!
However, the heroes under your employ are NOT static, and will respond to your actions as they happen, and may act differently under your rage states. Being an absolutely unending rage-monger who kicks puppies and enslaves the children will probably not be seen as very positive by most. Some like that sorta stuff, I guess. But most if treated poorly will just straight up leave, if not outright betray you! Some heroes if treated nicely, however, will increase their loyalty, and perhaps unlock some new perks or traits. Snazzy, right? Some people might just be too crazy to please, but may bring other benefits. That candy pirate might be rather stringy about "not being so oppressive" but he does bring an acute business acumen.
Some Heroes also have preferences that emerge over time; putting them on actions that they enjoy is likely to boost their opinion, while the opposite will do the opposite, obviously. If they really hate an action, their preference might not let them do it outright!
OPINION
All of your hero units will have an opinion value assigned to them that reflects how well they look upon you and how willing they are to do as you ask. For most units, this starts at 0 and can range from -100 to 100. A value of 0 to -25 indicates that the unit mildly dislikes you- nothing too serious for now, and it won't cause any harmful actions against you, but you might want to watch out to make sure it doesn't get worse. At -25 and beyond they will actively start hating you, and may make moves to pack up and leave at the earliest possible opportunity. Values of -75 or worse are when they will probably start to contemplate murder- at this point they deeply despise you and will actively attempt to work against you. Conversely, values above 25 will have them consider you a mild acquaintance, above 50 as a friend, and above 75 will reach the sort of trust it takes years of camaraderie to earn.
Even an opinion of 100 might not be enough to convince your units to do certain things- if your own mother came to you and asked you to pick up a gun and invade Spain single handedly, for example, you'd probably still say no even if you did like her. Character preferences can be mitigated by high opinion, but they will still have their own minds and can still say no to things that deeply violate their beliefs, common sense, or well-being.
Various modifiers can act upon this. An intern you hire on may have a +15 modifier for giving them a job they really need, while a government employee could have a -20 modifier for you flouting the government's authority. Modifiers like these are permanent until some event removes or alters them- the government employee won't change too much just because you invite him to a few cocktail parties, for instance, but if you prove to him that his loyalty is genuinely deserved he might lose the malus.
Pay attention to your heroes' Preferences! Forcing someone to work on a job they despise will give them a mild malus that will decay in a few months… unless you actively force them to keep working on that, in which case the modifiers stack, and the time it takes to remove will increase. Hiring a botanist and forcing them to work on organic chemistry will not go over well!
There's an advantage to keeping your heroes as loyal to you as possible. When making a roll, their loyalty will be reflected in a bonus modifier. A rating of -25 to 0 or 0 to 25 gives you an additional 10% of their relevant stat for that roll either subtracted or added, respectively. 25-49 will give you 15% added, 50-74 20%, and 75-100 25%. Numbers will be rounded down to the nearest whole.
If you have a hero with an Intrigue of 32 and a Loyalty of 15, they will gain a 32*0.1 rounded down bonus, or 3. The total roll will be:
1d100 + Father's Intrigue + 32 + (32*.1=3.2, rounded down to 3) + any other relevant modifiers
Free Agents:
Free agents are a lot like Heroes, but are a bit more… Transient. Occasionally, through your actions, or the actions of others, or sometimes entirely at random, Free Agents will wander through your territory. While there, they may be friendly or hostile. In either case, they will provide a bonus or malus to your actions. In addition, they will take actions as well. Sometimes, you may be able to direct them to some degree, while others, they might take actions against you. You may take martial actions to try and remove them, or diplomatic actions to convince them to do things for you.
$$$$FUNDS$$$$
You're rich! Well, rich enough. Grandfather left an inheritance, and you're a right businessman yourself. For now, don't worry too much about funds. However, Money might not go as far as it used to, and may or may not even be accepted in some areas! Heck, it might not even be money proper! Maybe it's candy!
MY STUFF: FQ: My Stuff!
Your stuff! You like stuff, most people do. Some items will be one use, while others will be given to different characters for bonuses. When you get some stuff, you'll get a snazzy Google doc page!
Fanart and Omakes
OMAKES/Fanart:
Omakes written will provide XP, which will be awarded depending on relevancy and overall quality of the Omake or art. In exchange for a 1000 XP, you may ask a direct question to Father which he would know in the universe. For example, you could ask what happened to The Interesting Twins from Underneath the Mountain, or things of that nature. Note, in asking that question, would only be within Father's ability to remember or know.
In addition, for particularly good Omakes, we may directly reward bonuses that can be used for plans in the future. We will be keeping track of them in a side document.
If you write an omake that is good, entertaining, and doesn't conflict with the quest, we may put it into the Canon Threadmarks! 'Canon' omakes would be stories that could actually take place in the quest's universe, and more importantly, can provide rumors that you could potentially act on. Got a favorite minor character that you really want to show up? Write an omake about them! With a little bit of tweaking to ensure it's canonical, your character may very well be available as a hero unit in the future! Of course, certain characters will be held in reserve, so writing an omake will not guarantee their fate- some characters are off doing their own thing, and some of them are dead.
Non-canon omakes would be just for fun. Have you got an amusing story idea, or wondered what would happen if the quest was taken in a different way? Write something up and you can earn some XP! This will be completely separate from the quest though, and have absolutely no bearing on any future events.
Fanart will also earn you a bonus, but it's got to be at least mostly relevant to the quest. Your picture of Thanos fighting Goku might be awesome, but it won't be awarded any XP (But a picture of Uncle Grandpa fighting Black Hat might). High-quality non-content will be given some XP, though not as much as fanart or omakes, and we reserve the right to stop this if it looks like things are getting spammy.
POSITIONS
In a new mechanic unique to Fatherquest, players can unlock additional national actions by selecting Hero units to fill key Positions. Positions work by placing a hero into a position (Media Czar, Head of Magical Affairs, Etc). Once a unit is selected to fill a Position, you may then take any actions marked with their specific positions tag. Actions taken by Position heroes do not roll with Father's National bonus, but rather, add the relevant stat of Position hero to that of the hero assigned to the action. In addition, Heroes in Positions may not be assigned to any actions as a hero normally would and may not take personal a personal action every other turn.
Heroes may be assigned to positions by a personal action by Father, or taken away via personal action by Father. Position Actions may still have other heroes assigned to them as per normal hero assignment rules. Once a unit is selected to fill a Position, you may then take any actions marked with their specific positions tag.
"Arching" Actions
Through your actions, you have acquired your first arch-enemy! These are certain individuals who either have it out for you or one of your hero units in particular, and will sometimes take actions to make your lives more miserable. Fortunately, you have ways to fight back! ARCHING ACTIONS are special rolls you can take during a turn to try and strike back at the miserable miscreants who are making your life harder! They can either enact personal schemes of their own, or take actions to make your National Actions more difficult!
You may take one in place of a national action that turn to gain the benefit of both Father's roll and your relevant hero's stat, or as a personal action to only add your relevant hero's stats to a 1d100 roll. The arch will contest this with a roll of their own!
Arch-enemies are recurring foes that will continually try to face your Hero Units in some form of combat. They will occasionally interfere with actions you send their foes on, giving a penalty to the National Action heroes are performing, beginning their own assault, or inserting themselves into a quest their foe is on.
It's far from all bad however! Facing an Arch-enemy is the surest way to continue a character's own development, improving stats, unlocking traits, and helping them to grow as a person. A potentially evil person.
In addition to dealing with them as they make their moves, you can also send the relevant Hero on a Nemesis action- to track down, fight, or otherwise face their arch-enemy, progressing their own story, preventing their arch-enemy from bothering them for some time, or even unlocking new Quests and other rewards!
Credit for the system goes to my friends on the Doofquest Team! Most of this is their ruleset, and ok'd for my use by them! Massive kudos!
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HERO CARDS
P . O . W - CARD COLLECTION
Gotta collect 'em all!
This is your P.O.W Card collection! Somehow, someway, through the miracle of modern children's trading card technology, these cards are auto-generated upon meeting important people! And no, you can't sue them for using your likeness! You're not sure how they do it, but it's a neat way to track your allies, enemies and other weirdos you come across. While you still judge Tolienator for the fact that he blows half his paycheck on these things, it is a nice way to get ahold of the darn things.
Everytime you meet a new character, you can check out some stats, a little blurb and more!
My P.O.W. Card Collection!
Gotta collect 'em all!
This is your P.O.W Card collection! Somehow, someway, through the miracle of modern children's trading card technology, these cards are auto-generated upon meeting important people! And no, you can't sue them for using your likeness! You're not sure how they do it, but it's a neat way to track your allies, enemies and other weirdos you come across. While you still judge Tolienator for the fact that he blows half his paycheck on these things, it is a nice way to get ahold of the darn things.
Everytime you meet a new character, you can check out some stats, a little blurb and more!
My P.O.W. Card Collection!
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Turn 1: Meeting with Monstroso (9.27.20XX)
After you flung open the office doors, your first impression was that you were immediately impressed. Red hooded men in well-tailored, designer suits ushered you forward, past ironwood furniture and across the red, Safavid carpets. The walls were a deep, royal, dark crimson, while the fixtures above were of dark bronze and brass, carefully wrought with faces of devils and biblical demons. Adorning the shelves were volumes of legal indexes, law books, and document archives, each leather-bound with gold on the bindings. "The Power of Power-Moves", "Guild Legal Handbook: Volume 12", "Malleus Maleficarum" and "How to Make the Law Work for You" all were neatly arranged on the shelves, free of dust or debris.
Overall, it made you recall your own office… Or that of your own father's. Everything was steeped in rustic class, hand-crafted to give a relaxing, but professional atmosphere. Of course, you reasoned, a lawyer and businessman would like to see people relax. It makes them far easier for the conar- Er, professional to get what they want out of them. Though truth be told, if it wasn't your own office, you never quite felt comfortable in environments like this. It was like stepping into another man's house, and even if you had their permission, it never felt like you belonged. It was like you were an intruder, or as if you had done something wrong simply by walking in. Besides, if this office was anything like yours, then it consisted only of precisely what the owner wanted the guest to see.
You didn't have time to properly soak in any more of the details, however, as you quickly reached the main office. With a quiet knock from the attendant, you were let in, and came face to face with Monstroso himself. A Titan in First Standing, a doctorate in Human Dominance, a post-doctorate in hate management, and a giant among men. You knew all these things because they were all featured in the numerous certificates hanging on the walls behind him, and also because he was literally a giant amongst men. When he turned to face you in his chair, you could easily see that he was nearly eight feet tall and practically as wide as a tractor, with arms as thick as tree-trunks, all contained comfortably in a masterfully fit black and red pin-stripe suit that formed around him like a glove. Even his head just seemed a little bit bigger, more brutal, more solidly rugged, with a full beard and goatee, which carefully crept up and around his face, the product of meticulous grooming. Oh, and to top it all off, and to probably tie in with the goatee, he wore a little red hood with horns on it. I guess they didn't call him the devil's advocate for nothing.
"Mr. Father, please to meet you at last. I'm very glad to have such a prestigious and well-known villain such as yourself in my office. Cigar?"
If you hadn't seen him speak right there, you'd almost assume that his voice had been modulated, given the deep, basey reverb that flowed from his mouth. Then it occurs to you, that just like his voice, he must have had lungs to fit and a voice box to match. Leaning forward, he flips over a box of cigars. As you take a seat in the black leather chairs before his mahoagony desk, your eyes flicker up in flame.
"OH! Normally, I don't indulge myself, but for business… Don't mind IF I DO!"
He smiles and nods as you pluck one of the pudgy little black sticks from the box, the smell of burning tobacco already crossing your nostrils, before he does the same. Carefully, you remove your pipe from your mouth and tuck it away, before biting down on the cigar. While you always did prefer a pipe, you were a known sucker for cigars. Something about the smell, the taste, the smoke, the look, it all enticed you, despite the fact that you pretty much hated all of the above as well. But gosh darn it, it was just something you liked to do. Monstroso leans forward, already with a lighter in hand. But you raise your palm up to it.
"Allow me."
With a snap of your finger, you and Monstroso's cigars light up.
"Very nice. I'll admit that I've always had a fondness for pyrokinetic powers myself. However, my specialty has always been in the finer details."
"I noticed. A very snazzy place you GOT here, Mr. MON-stro-so."
Monstroso nodded, taking a moment to glance over at his office, smiling at his pride and joy.
"Appreciated. Everything you see here was selected by me, and each inch of this place was decorated by yours truly. Cigar?"
He gestured as he placed a massive, meaty hand towards his chest, and another to push the box of cigars forward. Seeing as your last one is now burnt to a stub in a matter of moments, you go for another.
"What? Get outta TOWN! You've got an EYE for quality, Mr. MON-stro-SO."
"Ah, it's nothing, Mr. Father. Simply the fruits of my labor. And speaking of labor, I've gone through your latest request submitted through our investment side of the firm."
He slid up a folder, filled with different ideas and schematics you had sent. It was practically the size of a large magazine or catalog.
"And?"
"Well, to be forward, some of the pitches you suggested are, and how should I put this…"
For a moment, Monstroso kinda shrugged with his hands, and looked away, as if trying to find the right word. Not to describe it, because you could tell that the word he was looking for was 'stupid', but he didn't want to say that to your face, and your fiery, fiery hands.
"Less than efficient."
"THAT so, Hm? Well, that Billiam Williams WEIRDO did leave me his contract infor-"
"Just a moment. While they are less than efficient, I think there are some genuinely good ideas in this. They might just need some more… Creative give and take. With some further discussion and planning, as well as some bargaining, we might have a profitable partnership ahead of us. Cigar?"
Puffing out a satisfying blast of smoke, you snatch another cigar, just as the last faded to ash in its entirety. Well, while you weren't entirely happy with having somebody else stick their nose in your business, the prospect of having a good business relationship with somebody who could help fund your more… extravagant ideas, or help you with more eclectic needs certainly sounds appealing.
"Well, I don't mean to ACCUSE, but I've heard TELL that you have a bad habit of double CROSSING your partners. Is that TRUE?"
Monstroso takes a moment to tap his fingers, sightly annoyed at the accusation, but with a small smile pulling at the edges of his brow and lips. He looks over to a picture on the wall, of him and a politician, you guess.
"Now, Mr. Father, I will admit that some of my clients have had… unfortunate terminations with my business. First and foremost, I believe myself a fair man, and above all, a man who believes in paying back what is given to me, and vice versa. But, if I can be frank?"
The giant of a man slowly pulls out a small, golden paper butterfly, turning it's fragile wings over in his huge, ogre-like hands. He holds it up for you to take a look at, before placing it on the desk gently. Then, with utter disdain, he pulls out his cigar and smears it on the butterfly, rubbing the embers and burning it.
"Those I choose to screw over are bastards and idiots. All I ask is you play ball, pay your dues, and don't try anything cheeky. I'll do everything to honor my end of the agreement. I suggest you do the same. I would advise you to remember that you are not the only one with skin in the game."
You pause for a moment, thinking it over. While he was a little aggressive, you weren't unfamiliar with that technique. You cross your arms, smoldering over your answer until finally, it comes to you. It was better to have somebody willing to stick precisely to their word than not playing fair at all.
"Alright MR. mon-STRO-so, I think we've got a PARTNERship."
"Excellent. And just as a show of good faith, I've already approved the loan to help rebuild your manor. Cigar?"
"DONT mind IF I DO!"
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------
As you looked over the results of your new mansion, you smiled. Well, you knew you were smiling. Everyone else just sorta saw your burning yellow eyes were a little less upset looking. With Hank in charge of the business side of things, you were able to get your living conditions in order. Taking a sip of your hot chocolate, you appreciated a job well done by your Knightamatons.
Perhaps taking inspiration from the man who made it possible, you've spared no expenses. From top to bottom, every square inch of your home was made to your specifications and tastes. Starting from the totally massive and exorbitant master bedroom, with an adjacent bathroom, complete with waterfall and rainstorm shower with authentic lava-rock floors, to the truly stunning home-theater with built-in pop-corn machine and soda bar, it was everything you'd ever dreamed of.
You now had your own personal bowling ally with no less then four lanes (one for each of your team members), eleventy-billion square foot underground workshop with hangar space for your personal projects, the hedge-maze with a built-in death-trap mode, an infinity people and finite pool (because both were an option), a massive ball-room slash convention slash ballroom (for balls) area space, an outdoor and indoor kitchen with state of the art grilling utensils (Mr. Hill insisted on making it entirely propane-based for some weird reason), your own personal bakery, an entire greenhouse for your child-eating plants and petunias, no less than three jacuzzi's, an entire ice-cream bar for your personal use (or for visiting officials), an area for live theater, oh, and a breakfast nook!
As for defense, it was acceptable. Ultra-Hard-Steel shutters would slam down at a moment's notice, as well as a personal bunker and evil-scheme room. The top pinnacles of your manor were also cleverly disguised laser cannons, good enough to repel a small army of the KND, and that wasn't even mentioning the automated army of Knightamatons and more.
But, there was way more luxury to it! And not to mention a dining hall, your own lavishly decorated study complete with were-wolf rug, your room where you keep all those portraits of yourself you and the other villains commissioned for you (You only kept the most tasteful of the ones tolietnator painted of you), an extra bedroom with five beds and a 70 Inch Plasma Screen TV, your own massage parlor, a small hall of fame and museum of villainy, a museum of all the captured 2x4 Technology and paraphernalia you had captured over the years, the entirety of the Green Bay Packers (frozen in peanut brittle due to their failure in the last years super bowl), a breeding ground for your own pet Tie Shnookums, your own personal coffee stand (for your morning cup of joe), a broccoli bansai tree room (that you made children trim and eat), a throne room with a very comfy and intimidating lazy boy as the throne and uh…
"Strange. This chocolate isn't so sweet… BETTER get a fresh CUP."
As you turned to go back inside, you noticed something that had slipped by your attention. It was a strange… white… string coming from one of your bushes. Looking closer, you noticed that it wasn't a string at all. Infact, as you began to stomp over, you realized it wasn't just a stringl. It was some sort of white… long roll of paper. In doubly fact, it was even connected to what could only be described as some sort of leanto made entirely out of cardboard rolls, toilet paper, and a bathroom stall.
You didn't even hesitate to underhand a lazy fireball at the abomination in your yard. As soon as it connected, the pathetic domicile lit up in a blaze, and out come the pathetic cries of your most meak and pathetic underlings.
"OUCHI-OUCHI-OW-OW-AHHH!"
"STOP YAPPIN', TOLIENATOR!"
The Tolienator comes to a screeching halt as he nose-dived into your pristine, perfect fountain made in the image of yourself, standing on a plinth that was crushing the KND and children. You pinched your nose, as he rose. He was, honestly, a mess. Leaves and grass were caught up in his toilet paper, his toilet seat was crooked, and he looked like he was just set on fire.
"OW! Why'd ya do… That.. for…. BOSS! Is that really you!?!"
Instantly, you wish you had thrown more fireballs than you had. He is at your feet, groveling, and it practically makes you want to kick him.
So you do.
It's only about the third time when he comes groveling back that you decide to not risk scuffing your silhouette and instead hear him. Then it's about a minute or two of sobbing in joy before he finally begins to speak coherently.
"You- SNIFF - You came back! I - SOB - I knew you - WEEP - I knew you would sir! I even waited for you! I told the others you'd come back! But- But they didn't listen! But I knew deep down you would!"
"Can you STOP crying for THREE seconds and tell me what HAPPENED?"
"Eurh… Sorry boss. But you know how your dad turned us all into zombies?'
You squint, before taking a deep breath and rolling your eyes.
"Yes, I do believe I remember that."
"Well, funny thing, right? Somehow, we all turned back! After, he uh, conquered the world? Anyways, we were all really confused! Both me, Mr. Bossman, Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb, the Crazy Cat lady, an-"
"GET TO THE POINT."
"Right! Sorry boss! Uh, anyways, even the KND were super confused! And so were a buncha random people who were also zombified- Anyways, the KND got all really scared and confused, they started fighting us, and then we all sorta split up. Mr. Bossman tried to rally us villains, but uh, that didn't last so long when we all realized that the KND were all in one spot, and running around. From what he told me, their base up on the moon got all quiet, and they were all weak and vulnerable."
"Uh huh."
"Right, so we started giving those kids a wooping! Like really kicking their butts good! But as we chased them, we all started chasing them in different directions. And then uh.. Well, a lot of 'em realized that since you were gone, they didn't really have to listen to anybody, and since the KND were so weak, they just sorta… went… off to do their own thing."
"I see."
"But not me! I ALWAYS knew you'd come back! I even made a tent to wait in! But uh, I had to go for the last week. It was my vacation days, sir."
"So your telling me that those KND brats are left leaderless? What ABOUT their big moon base?"
"Well, sir, that's it. Nobody has heard from their upper command in months! Heck, nobody has even seen where most of Sector V has gone to! And what parts of the moonbase they didn't drop on ya, well, it seems some weirdo named 'Moltar' has taken it over. I did see a couple with a kinda cool old guy in green overalls, but uh, that was months ago! But I know that your back, we'll be ship shape in no time! So all we gotta do is blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bl.."
The was a sure way to darken your mood. Your brother… You hadn't seem Monty in months, and the description Toilenator had given was certainly a match. The last time you had, he had broken into your house, begging for your help. That ended up with the two of you leaving your mansion to confront…
"Tolienator, get up."
"YES BOSS!"
"We've got some work to do."
"WOOHOO!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
National Actions
PERSONAL ACTIONS
Father gets 4 Personal actions; Heros get 1 plus being able to be assigned to a national action
Overall, it made you recall your own office… Or that of your own father's. Everything was steeped in rustic class, hand-crafted to give a relaxing, but professional atmosphere. Of course, you reasoned, a lawyer and businessman would like to see people relax. It makes them far easier for the conar- Er, professional to get what they want out of them. Though truth be told, if it wasn't your own office, you never quite felt comfortable in environments like this. It was like stepping into another man's house, and even if you had their permission, it never felt like you belonged. It was like you were an intruder, or as if you had done something wrong simply by walking in. Besides, if this office was anything like yours, then it consisted only of precisely what the owner wanted the guest to see.
You didn't have time to properly soak in any more of the details, however, as you quickly reached the main office. With a quiet knock from the attendant, you were let in, and came face to face with Monstroso himself. A Titan in First Standing, a doctorate in Human Dominance, a post-doctorate in hate management, and a giant among men. You knew all these things because they were all featured in the numerous certificates hanging on the walls behind him, and also because he was literally a giant amongst men. When he turned to face you in his chair, you could easily see that he was nearly eight feet tall and practically as wide as a tractor, with arms as thick as tree-trunks, all contained comfortably in a masterfully fit black and red pin-stripe suit that formed around him like a glove. Even his head just seemed a little bit bigger, more brutal, more solidly rugged, with a full beard and goatee, which carefully crept up and around his face, the product of meticulous grooming. Oh, and to top it all off, and to probably tie in with the goatee, he wore a little red hood with horns on it. I guess they didn't call him the devil's advocate for nothing.
"Mr. Father, please to meet you at last. I'm very glad to have such a prestigious and well-known villain such as yourself in my office. Cigar?"
If you hadn't seen him speak right there, you'd almost assume that his voice had been modulated, given the deep, basey reverb that flowed from his mouth. Then it occurs to you, that just like his voice, he must have had lungs to fit and a voice box to match. Leaning forward, he flips over a box of cigars. As you take a seat in the black leather chairs before his mahoagony desk, your eyes flicker up in flame.
"OH! Normally, I don't indulge myself, but for business… Don't mind IF I DO!"
He smiles and nods as you pluck one of the pudgy little black sticks from the box, the smell of burning tobacco already crossing your nostrils, before he does the same. Carefully, you remove your pipe from your mouth and tuck it away, before biting down on the cigar. While you always did prefer a pipe, you were a known sucker for cigars. Something about the smell, the taste, the smoke, the look, it all enticed you, despite the fact that you pretty much hated all of the above as well. But gosh darn it, it was just something you liked to do. Monstroso leans forward, already with a lighter in hand. But you raise your palm up to it.
"Allow me."
With a snap of your finger, you and Monstroso's cigars light up.
"Very nice. I'll admit that I've always had a fondness for pyrokinetic powers myself. However, my specialty has always been in the finer details."
"I noticed. A very snazzy place you GOT here, Mr. MON-stro-so."
Monstroso nodded, taking a moment to glance over at his office, smiling at his pride and joy.
"Appreciated. Everything you see here was selected by me, and each inch of this place was decorated by yours truly. Cigar?"
He gestured as he placed a massive, meaty hand towards his chest, and another to push the box of cigars forward. Seeing as your last one is now burnt to a stub in a matter of moments, you go for another.
"What? Get outta TOWN! You've got an EYE for quality, Mr. MON-stro-SO."
"Ah, it's nothing, Mr. Father. Simply the fruits of my labor. And speaking of labor, I've gone through your latest request submitted through our investment side of the firm."
He slid up a folder, filled with different ideas and schematics you had sent. It was practically the size of a large magazine or catalog.
"And?"
"Well, to be forward, some of the pitches you suggested are, and how should I put this…"
For a moment, Monstroso kinda shrugged with his hands, and looked away, as if trying to find the right word. Not to describe it, because you could tell that the word he was looking for was 'stupid', but he didn't want to say that to your face, and your fiery, fiery hands.
"Less than efficient."
"THAT so, Hm? Well, that Billiam Williams WEIRDO did leave me his contract infor-"
"Just a moment. While they are less than efficient, I think there are some genuinely good ideas in this. They might just need some more… Creative give and take. With some further discussion and planning, as well as some bargaining, we might have a profitable partnership ahead of us. Cigar?"
Puffing out a satisfying blast of smoke, you snatch another cigar, just as the last faded to ash in its entirety. Well, while you weren't entirely happy with having somebody else stick their nose in your business, the prospect of having a good business relationship with somebody who could help fund your more… extravagant ideas, or help you with more eclectic needs certainly sounds appealing.
"Well, I don't mean to ACCUSE, but I've heard TELL that you have a bad habit of double CROSSING your partners. Is that TRUE?"
Monstroso takes a moment to tap his fingers, sightly annoyed at the accusation, but with a small smile pulling at the edges of his brow and lips. He looks over to a picture on the wall, of him and a politician, you guess.
"Now, Mr. Father, I will admit that some of my clients have had… unfortunate terminations with my business. First and foremost, I believe myself a fair man, and above all, a man who believes in paying back what is given to me, and vice versa. But, if I can be frank?"
The giant of a man slowly pulls out a small, golden paper butterfly, turning it's fragile wings over in his huge, ogre-like hands. He holds it up for you to take a look at, before placing it on the desk gently. Then, with utter disdain, he pulls out his cigar and smears it on the butterfly, rubbing the embers and burning it.
"Those I choose to screw over are bastards and idiots. All I ask is you play ball, pay your dues, and don't try anything cheeky. I'll do everything to honor my end of the agreement. I suggest you do the same. I would advise you to remember that you are not the only one with skin in the game."
You pause for a moment, thinking it over. While he was a little aggressive, you weren't unfamiliar with that technique. You cross your arms, smoldering over your answer until finally, it comes to you. It was better to have somebody willing to stick precisely to their word than not playing fair at all.
"Alright MR. mon-STRO-so, I think we've got a PARTNERship."
"Excellent. And just as a show of good faith, I've already approved the loan to help rebuild your manor. Cigar?"
"DONT mind IF I DO!"
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------
As you looked over the results of your new mansion, you smiled. Well, you knew you were smiling. Everyone else just sorta saw your burning yellow eyes were a little less upset looking. With Hank in charge of the business side of things, you were able to get your living conditions in order. Taking a sip of your hot chocolate, you appreciated a job well done by your Knightamatons.
Perhaps taking inspiration from the man who made it possible, you've spared no expenses. From top to bottom, every square inch of your home was made to your specifications and tastes. Starting from the totally massive and exorbitant master bedroom, with an adjacent bathroom, complete with waterfall and rainstorm shower with authentic lava-rock floors, to the truly stunning home-theater with built-in pop-corn machine and soda bar, it was everything you'd ever dreamed of.
You now had your own personal bowling ally with no less then four lanes (one for each of your team members), eleventy-billion square foot underground workshop with hangar space for your personal projects, the hedge-maze with a built-in death-trap mode, an infinity people and finite pool (because both were an option), a massive ball-room slash convention slash ballroom (for balls) area space, an outdoor and indoor kitchen with state of the art grilling utensils (Mr. Hill insisted on making it entirely propane-based for some weird reason), your own personal bakery, an entire greenhouse for your child-eating plants and petunias, no less than three jacuzzi's, an entire ice-cream bar for your personal use (or for visiting officials), an area for live theater, oh, and a breakfast nook!
As for defense, it was acceptable. Ultra-Hard-Steel shutters would slam down at a moment's notice, as well as a personal bunker and evil-scheme room. The top pinnacles of your manor were also cleverly disguised laser cannons, good enough to repel a small army of the KND, and that wasn't even mentioning the automated army of Knightamatons and more.
But, there was way more luxury to it! And not to mention a dining hall, your own lavishly decorated study complete with were-wolf rug, your room where you keep all those portraits of yourself you and the other villains commissioned for you (You only kept the most tasteful of the ones tolietnator painted of you), an extra bedroom with five beds and a 70 Inch Plasma Screen TV, your own massage parlor, a small hall of fame and museum of villainy, a museum of all the captured 2x4 Technology and paraphernalia you had captured over the years, the entirety of the Green Bay Packers (frozen in peanut brittle due to their failure in the last years super bowl), a breeding ground for your own pet Tie Shnookums, your own personal coffee stand (for your morning cup of joe), a broccoli bansai tree room (that you made children trim and eat), a throne room with a very comfy and intimidating lazy boy as the throne and uh…
"Strange. This chocolate isn't so sweet… BETTER get a fresh CUP."
As you turned to go back inside, you noticed something that had slipped by your attention. It was a strange… white… string coming from one of your bushes. Looking closer, you noticed that it wasn't a string at all. Infact, as you began to stomp over, you realized it wasn't just a stringl. It was some sort of white… long roll of paper. In doubly fact, it was even connected to what could only be described as some sort of leanto made entirely out of cardboard rolls, toilet paper, and a bathroom stall.
You didn't even hesitate to underhand a lazy fireball at the abomination in your yard. As soon as it connected, the pathetic domicile lit up in a blaze, and out come the pathetic cries of your most meak and pathetic underlings.
"OUCHI-OUCHI-OW-OW-AHHH!"
"STOP YAPPIN', TOLIENATOR!"
The Tolienator comes to a screeching halt as he nose-dived into your pristine, perfect fountain made in the image of yourself, standing on a plinth that was crushing the KND and children. You pinched your nose, as he rose. He was, honestly, a mess. Leaves and grass were caught up in his toilet paper, his toilet seat was crooked, and he looked like he was just set on fire.
"OW! Why'd ya do… That.. for…. BOSS! Is that really you!?!"
Instantly, you wish you had thrown more fireballs than you had. He is at your feet, groveling, and it practically makes you want to kick him.
So you do.
It's only about the third time when he comes groveling back that you decide to not risk scuffing your silhouette and instead hear him. Then it's about a minute or two of sobbing in joy before he finally begins to speak coherently.
"You- SNIFF - You came back! I - SOB - I knew you - WEEP - I knew you would sir! I even waited for you! I told the others you'd come back! But- But they didn't listen! But I knew deep down you would!"
"Can you STOP crying for THREE seconds and tell me what HAPPENED?"
"Eurh… Sorry boss. But you know how your dad turned us all into zombies?'
You squint, before taking a deep breath and rolling your eyes.
"Yes, I do believe I remember that."
"Well, funny thing, right? Somehow, we all turned back! After, he uh, conquered the world? Anyways, we were all really confused! Both me, Mr. Bossman, Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb, the Crazy Cat lady, an-"
"GET TO THE POINT."
"Right! Sorry boss! Uh, anyways, even the KND were super confused! And so were a buncha random people who were also zombified- Anyways, the KND got all really scared and confused, they started fighting us, and then we all sorta split up. Mr. Bossman tried to rally us villains, but uh, that didn't last so long when we all realized that the KND were all in one spot, and running around. From what he told me, their base up on the moon got all quiet, and they were all weak and vulnerable."
"Uh huh."
"Right, so we started giving those kids a wooping! Like really kicking their butts good! But as we chased them, we all started chasing them in different directions. And then uh.. Well, a lot of 'em realized that since you were gone, they didn't really have to listen to anybody, and since the KND were so weak, they just sorta… went… off to do their own thing."
"I see."
"But not me! I ALWAYS knew you'd come back! I even made a tent to wait in! But uh, I had to go for the last week. It was my vacation days, sir."
"So your telling me that those KND brats are left leaderless? What ABOUT their big moon base?"
"Well, sir, that's it. Nobody has heard from their upper command in months! Heck, nobody has even seen where most of Sector V has gone to! And what parts of the moonbase they didn't drop on ya, well, it seems some weirdo named 'Moltar' has taken it over. I did see a couple with a kinda cool old guy in green overalls, but uh, that was months ago! But I know that your back, we'll be ship shape in no time! So all we gotta do is blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bl.."
The was a sure way to darken your mood. Your brother… You hadn't seem Monty in months, and the description Toilenator had given was certainly a match. The last time you had, he had broken into your house, begging for your help. That ended up with the two of you leaving your mansion to confront…
"Tolienator, get up."
"YES BOSS!"
"We've got some work to do."
"WOOHOO!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
National Actions
[ ] Smash KND Holdouts
DC 60
Even with that stupid Book in your hands, the loudest Kids Next Door holdout cells have started acting up again. They're pulling pranks, staying up after bedtime, and blowing up cars with confeitti bombs. Remind them of who's in charge: The adults! Then maybe your underlings will wake up and remember you're in charge of them!
Reward: Least subtle KND remnant groups are caught and grounded until they're thirteen. Father's soopervillains may notice his renewed activity.
[ ] Clean the Lawn
DC 65
That big pufferfish wasn't the only giant monster sniffing around in your neck of the woods. The fringes of the state are becoming the stalking grounds for all manners of creepy crawlies. The kids can wait while you teach these mutant freaks that you're the alpha around these parts
Reward: Giant monsters, mutants, and other weird things become pacified, reducing the chance that they try to attack again any time soon. May impress monster hunters.
DC 60
Even with that stupid Book in your hands, the loudest Kids Next Door holdout cells have started acting up again. They're pulling pranks, staying up after bedtime, and blowing up cars with confeitti bombs. Remind them of who's in charge: The adults! Then maybe your underlings will wake up and remember you're in charge of them!
Reward: Least subtle KND remnant groups are caught and grounded until they're thirteen. Father's soopervillains may notice his renewed activity.
[ ] Clean the Lawn
DC 65
That big pufferfish wasn't the only giant monster sniffing around in your neck of the woods. The fringes of the state are becoming the stalking grounds for all manners of creepy crawlies. The kids can wait while you teach these mutant freaks that you're the alpha around these parts
Reward: Giant monsters, mutants, and other weird things become pacified, reducing the chance that they try to attack again any time soon. May impress monster hunters.
[ ] Reach Out to Corporate Competition
DC 50
You've recently heard about some other businesses that have cropped up during your leave of absence. Well, it's high time you got a taste of the competition! Reach out to as many as you can, and maybe you can figure out how they tick.
Reward: Father introduces himself to the other megacorp magnates in the USA. Should notify the job market that you're back in business.
[ ] Reach Out to US Government
DC 60
As an adult, it is your obligation to pay taxes, participate in fair elections, and overall be a good citizen. Not that you care too much for paying taxes or fairness, but it might be a good idea to check in with the Stars and Stripes and see how they're holding up these days. Their job is to help upstanding citzens, so who knows? They might actually do it.
Reward: Reintroduce yourself to the government (whoever's in office these days) and any new special agencies. First step to securing a government liason and those sweet, sweet tax breaks. Slight Rage gain.
DC 50
You've recently heard about some other businesses that have cropped up during your leave of absence. Well, it's high time you got a taste of the competition! Reach out to as many as you can, and maybe you can figure out how they tick.
Reward: Father introduces himself to the other megacorp magnates in the USA. Should notify the job market that you're back in business.
[ ] Reach Out to US Government
DC 60
As an adult, it is your obligation to pay taxes, participate in fair elections, and overall be a good citizen. Not that you care too much for paying taxes or fairness, but it might be a good idea to check in with the Stars and Stripes and see how they're holding up these days. Their job is to help upstanding citzens, so who knows? They might actually do it.
Reward: Reintroduce yourself to the government (whoever's in office these days) and any new special agencies. First step to securing a government liason and those sweet, sweet tax breaks. Slight Rage gain.
[ ] Restructure Adult Co.
DC 65
Adult Co has gotten slow and lazy in your absence, and Mr. Boss putting in his two week's notice while you weren't looking hasn't helped things in the slightest. The company needs to shape up. Crack the whip! Double the quotas! And GET BACK TO WORK!
Reward: Adult Co resumes proper functions and starts making money again. You can use this opportunity to institute new guidelines and policies. Like Casual Friday, the one day where no one has to wear ties. Or make it even more oppressive than before.
[ ] Implement Candy Stock Exchange
DC 75
The economy took some funny turns as of recent. Nation-backed currencies are out, and candy is in. If Stickybeard and his candy pirate ilk could become wealthy buccaneers overnight, why can't you get a sweet cut of the action? Set yourself up a candy stock market to take advantage of the new status quo.
Reward: Info on the economics of the world, and current extent of candy piracy. Keeps track of candy stocks.
DC 65
Adult Co has gotten slow and lazy in your absence, and Mr. Boss putting in his two week's notice while you weren't looking hasn't helped things in the slightest. The company needs to shape up. Crack the whip! Double the quotas! And GET BACK TO WORK!
Reward: Adult Co resumes proper functions and starts making money again. You can use this opportunity to institute new guidelines and policies. Like Casual Friday, the one day where no one has to wear ties. Or make it even more oppressive than before.
[ ] Implement Candy Stock Exchange
DC 75
The economy took some funny turns as of recent. Nation-backed currencies are out, and candy is in. If Stickybeard and his candy pirate ilk could become wealthy buccaneers overnight, why can't you get a sweet cut of the action? Set yourself up a candy stock market to take advantage of the new status quo.
Reward: Info on the economics of the world, and current extent of candy piracy. Keeps track of candy stocks.
[ ] Catch Up on the News
DC 20
While you were on that little… getaway, you did end up watching a lot of TV. Nothing useful, unless knowledge of "Camp Pining Hearts" suddenly became a political bargaining chip. Now's the time to actually check out what's happening in the world at large. You might even find someone worth hiring to replace those deadbeat soopervillains.
Reward: Learn more about current state of the world. Potential Rage gain or loss, depending on what you tune into.
[ ] Look into Aliens
DC 70
Aliens? You thought Hank was pulling your leg about ETs and little green men, when the truth is that you metaphorically slepted through first contact. Or maybe literally, depending on if it was before noon. Learn about your new neighbors from outer space, and figure out if those space cadets online were on to something.
Reward: Father becomes aware of alien factions active on Earth. Unlocks actions to establish (late) contact with them.
[ ] Investigate this "guild" you heard about from Monstroso
DC 70
So there's some other tough guys trying to edge in on your turf, eh? Well, you were the original one to set up villainy! Well, at least adult-themed villainy, and that's got to count for something. Monstroso mentioned something about these costumed villains while signing, and with a little sleuthing, you might be able to learn about them.
Reward: Discover the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and what their whole deal is.
DC 20
While you were on that little… getaway, you did end up watching a lot of TV. Nothing useful, unless knowledge of "Camp Pining Hearts" suddenly became a political bargaining chip. Now's the time to actually check out what's happening in the world at large. You might even find someone worth hiring to replace those deadbeat soopervillains.
Reward: Learn more about current state of the world. Potential Rage gain or loss, depending on what you tune into.
[ ] Look into Aliens
DC 70
Aliens? You thought Hank was pulling your leg about ETs and little green men, when the truth is that you metaphorically slepted through first contact. Or maybe literally, depending on if it was before noon. Learn about your new neighbors from outer space, and figure out if those space cadets online were on to something.
Reward: Father becomes aware of alien factions active on Earth. Unlocks actions to establish (late) contact with them.
[ ] Investigate this "guild" you heard about from Monstroso
DC 70
So there's some other tough guys trying to edge in on your turf, eh? Well, you were the original one to set up villainy! Well, at least adult-themed villainy, and that's got to count for something. Monstroso mentioned something about these costumed villains while signing, and with a little sleuthing, you might be able to learn about them.
Reward: Discover the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and what their whole deal is.
[ ] Invent New Ice Cream flavor
DC 60
Monstroso definitely isn't backing this one, but you don't care. Now that you've got the free time, you're gonna try and take a crack at inventing a new flavor of ice cream for your side company, Adult Ice Cream Co. to sell. How hard could it be?
Reward: Boost to Adult Ice Cream Co. fund income, and gain the attention of frozen treat aficionados. Potential to find relevant hero unit. Moderate rage loss.
[ ] Build a Giant Robot
DC 60
Time to crack the ol' knuckles and use a little elbow grease. Let's build a big scary robot! It seems to be the trend around these parts, and hey, you never know when you might need one! However, it'll probably be more for show than anything else; you'll still be stronger than any robot you could build in a month. At the very least, it'll make some invading giant monsters a little wary.
REWARD: A giant robot, and boost towards intimidating diplomatic actions. Potential to find relevant hero unit and gain attention from robot and chair aficionados.
DC 60
Monstroso definitely isn't backing this one, but you don't care. Now that you've got the free time, you're gonna try and take a crack at inventing a new flavor of ice cream for your side company, Adult Ice Cream Co. to sell. How hard could it be?
Reward: Boost to Adult Ice Cream Co. fund income, and gain the attention of frozen treat aficionados. Potential to find relevant hero unit. Moderate rage loss.
[ ] Build a Giant Robot
DC 60
Time to crack the ol' knuckles and use a little elbow grease. Let's build a big scary robot! It seems to be the trend around these parts, and hey, you never know when you might need one! However, it'll probably be more for show than anything else; you'll still be stronger than any robot you could build in a month. At the very least, it'll make some invading giant monsters a little wary.
REWARD: A giant robot, and boost towards intimidating diplomatic actions. Potential to find relevant hero unit and gain attention from robot and chair aficionados.
[ ] Find a Wizard
DC: ??
You are certain that you're probably magic, and that magic probably exists. There were a lot of things adult science just sorta… can't explain. Plus, there was that weird dodgeball wizard dude, but he was kinda… you know, lame. So lets see if we can do better! Put out an add for any magical people who'd like to work for you!
REWARD: Potential to find a relevant hero unit.
[ ] Look into Artifacts
DC: ??
Speaking of magic, on the other hand, there are all those cool, magical and probably not-cursed artifacts. While you weren't much for it, a lot of rumors are swirling around the use of these artifacts.
REWARD: Magical or unique artifacts, or at least locations of them.
DC: ??
You are certain that you're probably magic, and that magic probably exists. There were a lot of things adult science just sorta… can't explain. Plus, there was that weird dodgeball wizard dude, but he was kinda… you know, lame. So lets see if we can do better! Put out an add for any magical people who'd like to work for you!
REWARD: Potential to find a relevant hero unit.
[ ] Look into Artifacts
DC: ??
Speaking of magic, on the other hand, there are all those cool, magical and probably not-cursed artifacts. While you weren't much for it, a lot of rumors are swirling around the use of these artifacts.
REWARD: Magical or unique artifacts, or at least locations of them.
PERSONAL ACTIONS
Father gets 4 Personal actions; Heros get 1 plus being able to be assigned to a national action
[ ] Check in on your Sister-In-Law
If your going to find out what happened to Monty or Numbuh 1, your going to need to start simple. And unfortunately, that'll involve in-laws. In particular, your Sister-in-law, Loretta Uno. Considering how distant you and Monty were, she'll probably only know you from Christmas cards. But it'll be as good a place as any.
[ ] Call the Moonbase
I mean, sure, the KND direct line was reserved purely for when they were holding your factories hostage or during negotiations, and definitely not for visiting… But you were really dying to see who would pick up. Would be this Moltar guy? Would it be 86? Or Numbuh 362? What exactly WAS going on up there?
[ ] Hold a Barbeque
If you were gonna get people back to your side, you knew the key to a lot of people's hearts. A good, old fashioned, personally cooked, Barbeque! And you were the best cook you knew (Not that'd you say it in front of Grand Mother Stuffum).
[ ] Go through your rolodex
When did you even buy a rolodex? It doesn't matter though, going through it could help put you in touch with old acquaintances, and see how things are. Couldn't hurt, right?
[ ] Work on Sir Toasty
He was always your favorite Knightamaton, even if he was just a Knightamaton with a name and a flame thrower. Maybe you could make him a cool butler or something? He'd at least help keep the house a bit more secure. Slight rage decrease.
[ ] Watch Politics
You are not sure who they are, but it makes you mad. Rage Increases.
[ ] Eat Ice Cream
Indulge yourself. Rage Decreases.
If your going to find out what happened to Monty or Numbuh 1, your going to need to start simple. And unfortunately, that'll involve in-laws. In particular, your Sister-in-law, Loretta Uno. Considering how distant you and Monty were, she'll probably only know you from Christmas cards. But it'll be as good a place as any.
[ ] Call the Moonbase
I mean, sure, the KND direct line was reserved purely for when they were holding your factories hostage or during negotiations, and definitely not for visiting… But you were really dying to see who would pick up. Would be this Moltar guy? Would it be 86? Or Numbuh 362? What exactly WAS going on up there?
[ ] Hold a Barbeque
If you were gonna get people back to your side, you knew the key to a lot of people's hearts. A good, old fashioned, personally cooked, Barbeque! And you were the best cook you knew (Not that'd you say it in front of Grand Mother Stuffum).
[ ] Go through your rolodex
When did you even buy a rolodex? It doesn't matter though, going through it could help put you in touch with old acquaintances, and see how things are. Couldn't hurt, right?
[ ] Work on Sir Toasty
He was always your favorite Knightamaton, even if he was just a Knightamaton with a name and a flame thrower. Maybe you could make him a cool butler or something? He'd at least help keep the house a bit more secure. Slight rage decrease.
[ ] Watch Politics
You are not sure who they are, but it makes you mad. Rage Increases.
[ ] Eat Ice Cream
Indulge yourself. Rage Decreases.
[ ] Check on Peggy and Bobby
It's the least Hank can do, since he's on business and so far away. Hank will take some time off and explain whats going on, and talk about his new work.
[ ] Hang out in the allyway
Well, it's not really the alleyway, but the CEO's office corridor would be a good way to boost morale and meet people. He could even invite Mr. Father!
[ ] Look into what all this "Super Villainy" Is
Becoming a CEO of a big corporation is stressful. It can be even more disconcerting when finds out that it also produces super villain weapons and tools. Hank will try to come to an understanding with what he does.
[ ] Barbeque
Have a barbeque! It won't be as good as Fathers, but it will be certifiably Texan. Hank will host a barbeque and see who shows up!
It's the least Hank can do, since he's on business and so far away. Hank will take some time off and explain whats going on, and talk about his new work.
[ ] Hang out in the allyway
Well, it's not really the alleyway, but the CEO's office corridor would be a good way to boost morale and meet people. He could even invite Mr. Father!
[ ] Look into what all this "Super Villainy" Is
Becoming a CEO of a big corporation is stressful. It can be even more disconcerting when finds out that it also produces super villain weapons and tools. Hank will try to come to an understanding with what he does.
[ ] Barbeque
Have a barbeque! It won't be as good as Fathers, but it will be certifiably Texan. Hank will host a barbeque and see who shows up!
[ ] Build an homage to Father
Tolienator did kinda mess up his fountain. Lets make a new one! Although, it will primarily be made of plumbing pipes and urinals. He'll probably like it?
[ ] Look for Friends!
Well, since all the villains left, Tolienator has mostly been left without a social circle. Time to fix that! Tolienator will try and find some friends to talk to. Keyword try.
[ ] DESTROY THE KND (or whats left)
It's a bit pathetic to kick a kid while they're down. But then again, the Tolienator is pathetic in general. He will try to emulate Father by hunting down KND remnants, or something or other!
Tolienator did kinda mess up his fountain. Lets make a new one! Although, it will primarily be made of plumbing pipes and urinals. He'll probably like it?
[ ] Look for Friends!
Well, since all the villains left, Tolienator has mostly been left without a social circle. Time to fix that! Tolienator will try and find some friends to talk to. Keyword try.
[ ] DESTROY THE KND (or whats left)
It's a bit pathetic to kick a kid while they're down. But then again, the Tolienator is pathetic in general. He will try to emulate Father by hunting down KND remnants, or something or other!
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Omake: Pondering the Past
- Location
- Warsaw
Omake: Pondering the Past
Father chewed idly on his pipe as he stared off into the distance. Lost in his thoughts at the moment. He was currently seated in a plush recliner chair in his newly renovated home. A fireplace before him crackling quietly. The walls decorated in a tasteful blue wallpaper with white columns braced in the corners. Several of his knight like robots standing to the sides. A side table baring a black phone for work on his left.
He was pondering what led him to this moment. Grandfather was dead. He had killed the old man. Vaporized the old bastard with his own power. Nothing but ashes that he himself had scattered back in England.
Part of him still couldn't believe that he had done it. He had finally managed to destroy that old man. If not exactly in the way that he had long dreamed of doing so. Father had been the one to bring him back in the first place. Maybe finally get the old man to respect him. Fitting in a way that it was him who destroyed Grandfather once and for all.
Did he regret doing it? No, he did not regret it in the slightest. He never would regret it no matter what some goody two shoes might say. Father hated that old wretch more than words could describe. He always had deep down. A deep seated resentment that was planted during childhood and had festered within him ever since. All those long hours trapped in those wretched factories. The endless suffocating stench of tapioca in the air. The aches and pains of all that hard work. All of that had never truly gone away merely been buried under years of anger and work.
Part of him still was amazed that he had actually pulled it off. Father was all too aware of the balance of power between the two of them. He knew full well that his own powers had come from Grandfather. You could even say that his abilities were a lesser derivative of his fathers. Much as it galled him to admit it Grandfather was more powerful than he would ever be. That wasn't even getting into the old wretches more exotic abilities.
At least he had believed that to be the case. Yet he was the one still standing after their clash. How had that happened? He could only assume that he had managed to somehow dig deeper into his powers than ever before. All he could really remember was the seething hot rage than poured through him. The crazed rush of energy that thrummed inside. The wicked joy as he brought forth destruction.
How had he brought it on then? Could it be that he had simply been so angry that he overcame some barrier within? Father knew that deep inside some part of him still wanted the old man's approval. Some part that was still afraid of him after all those years. He supposed what had happened had been the last straw.
He had brought the old codger back. Yet it was still Monty who was the favorite. Even when it was Monty who overthrew Grandfather to begin with. That blast that sent him flying had made something within him snap. That mental block finally coming undone. Allowing the hate to flow forth and letting his fire burn hotter than ever. Finally destroying the shadow that had loomed over him for so long.
The only question was what now?
@HellaCooltricks
I'd like to use this for dealing with Adult co.
Father chewed idly on his pipe as he stared off into the distance. Lost in his thoughts at the moment. He was currently seated in a plush recliner chair in his newly renovated home. A fireplace before him crackling quietly. The walls decorated in a tasteful blue wallpaper with white columns braced in the corners. Several of his knight like robots standing to the sides. A side table baring a black phone for work on his left.
He was pondering what led him to this moment. Grandfather was dead. He had killed the old man. Vaporized the old bastard with his own power. Nothing but ashes that he himself had scattered back in England.
Part of him still couldn't believe that he had done it. He had finally managed to destroy that old man. If not exactly in the way that he had long dreamed of doing so. Father had been the one to bring him back in the first place. Maybe finally get the old man to respect him. Fitting in a way that it was him who destroyed Grandfather once and for all.
Did he regret doing it? No, he did not regret it in the slightest. He never would regret it no matter what some goody two shoes might say. Father hated that old wretch more than words could describe. He always had deep down. A deep seated resentment that was planted during childhood and had festered within him ever since. All those long hours trapped in those wretched factories. The endless suffocating stench of tapioca in the air. The aches and pains of all that hard work. All of that had never truly gone away merely been buried under years of anger and work.
Part of him still was amazed that he had actually pulled it off. Father was all too aware of the balance of power between the two of them. He knew full well that his own powers had come from Grandfather. You could even say that his abilities were a lesser derivative of his fathers. Much as it galled him to admit it Grandfather was more powerful than he would ever be. That wasn't even getting into the old wretches more exotic abilities.
At least he had believed that to be the case. Yet he was the one still standing after their clash. How had that happened? He could only assume that he had managed to somehow dig deeper into his powers than ever before. All he could really remember was the seething hot rage than poured through him. The crazed rush of energy that thrummed inside. The wicked joy as he brought forth destruction.
How had he brought it on then? Could it be that he had simply been so angry that he overcame some barrier within? Father knew that deep inside some part of him still wanted the old man's approval. Some part that was still afraid of him after all those years. He supposed what had happened had been the last straw.
He had brought the old codger back. Yet it was still Monty who was the favorite. Even when it was Monty who overthrew Grandfather to begin with. That blast that sent him flying had made something within him snap. That mental block finally coming undone. Allowing the hate to flow forth and letting his fire burn hotter than ever. Finally destroying the shadow that had loomed over him for so long.
The only question was what now?
@HellaCooltricks
I'd like to use this for dealing with Adult co.
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Fanart: Adult Co. Serious Business Logo
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Since every serious business needs a serious logo, here's my hour long attempt at throwing together an appropriate one for Father's day job
Fanart: Fuck Them Kids
Always Watching
Definitely NOT an InventCo shill
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Omakes: Lucky Lydia Makes Some Friends
- Location
- Peterborough, NH, USA
Lucky Lydia Meets Some New Friends
Lydia smiled her classic smile as she bent down to pick a 16-leaf clover. 4 times as lucky as a four-leaf! Sure, things had been... weird lately, even if nobody seemed to be sure what was going on exactly, but things weren't that bad!
Sure, she hadn't seen Bernice or Bernice's mom recently and her mom and dad wouldn't tell her what happened... but she was sure there was a good reason!
Anyway, she was kicking a familiar diamond around, when she noticed some scuffed up kids acting weird. They looked like they hadn't had any fun in... a while. So se went over to say hi.
"I'm telling you. Father's back! He blew up one of those big monsters rolling around in his old turf, and he's probably pulling the old Adult Villains back together right now!" a blond girl claimed fearfully.
"And what are we supposed to do about it? Sis isn't answering our calls, and none of the other cells are in any shape to try and take him on right now." a blond boy noted, eyes hard. He had a 363 written in marker on his... hat? Lydia was going to call it a hat.
"Well, I guess there's one upside to the world turning sideways and giving itself a good shake. The old you would have had us try and take him on ourselves." a boy in a trapper hat commented, the hat covering his hair and eyes alike. He was bobbing a yo-yo up and down with the sort of casual ease Lydia only saw in people who practiced.
"I'm not dumb enough to try and fight the guy who obliterated Grandfather when he worked up the motivation to actually try." the blond boy scowled, trying to tug his helmet down tighter on his head. "For now, we need more recruits. They'll have to train on the mission, but, well, we don't have any better options."
Lydia was missing a lot of context, so she did what she did best and pushed through the strangeness with a grin on her face. "Uh, hey there." the trio started, but relaxed when they saw her, well, somewhat. "You guys new in the neighborhood?"
The trio glanced at each other. "You could say that, yeah. You know where the kids hang out around here?" the blond boy asked.
"Well, there's the clubhouse, but a bunch of kids have, uh, moved away recently, so my mom wants me home soon. We could play some video games if you want! Feel free to take some of the leprechaun gold too. It's not really worth anything these days, though I can't say I'm sad about the way candy's gone up in the world!" Lydia said with a bit more cheer than she really felt. While they had plenty of money, or well, 'money', she'd only bothered getting the games because there wasn't anybody to play with these days.
The girl mouthed 'leprechaun gold?' in confusion, while the boy nodded at her. "Sure, lead the way."
A few minutes walk found them at Lydia's house, where she was unsurprised to find her parents watching the TV, concerned expressions on their faces. "Hey mom, I found some new friends! We're gonna play video games!" she called, not waiting for a response that wouldn't come and dragged the other three kids to her room.
"Huh. Nice set." trapper hat boy nodded at her Funstation, Gamechild, and perfectly normal computer. She could play games with it just fine, but the Internet was off. Something her mother had insisted on, though she wouldn't explain why. ...She was sure there was a good reason though.
"Thanks..." Lydia's facade cracked slightly as she realized this was the first time she'd had anybody over in nearly a month. She pushed it down. Everything would be fine.
"Call me..." he glanced at the other boy in the room, who nodded at him. "Numbuh 84."
"Some kind of codename?" Lydia asked.
"Yeah. I'm 363, and this is 83." the blond boy noted.
"Uh, listen Lydia, how much do you know about what's going on out there?" 83 asked.
"...Not a lot." Lydia admitted. "Something's gone wrong, but nobody can tell me what or why. Heck, different news channels are saying some of the same things, and completely disagreeing on others, and any two of them will agree and disagree on different things."
"You watch the news?" 363 asked, a hint of suspicion in his eyes.
"My parents don't do much besides watch the news these days." Lydia sighed, her usual easy grin fading fast.
"Hm, well if it's information you want, I think we can do that much..."
AN: Lucky Lydia is from this particular CN Pilot. You know Milo Murphy? Well, she's the opposite of that. She literally has a pile of leprechaun gold outside her house because she keeps getting hit by rainbows every time it rains, and once kicked around a diamond the size of an orange like a rock while bored. I imagine she'd have garbage stats like the Toiletnator(though she has the excuse of being like 10 at most, probably younger, and she can be pretty observant when she wants to be) but have a special Trait:
The Anti-Murphy. Lydia leads a charmed life. Anything that can go right, will go right. It's a good thing she's a good-natured kid, or else she could probably cause a lot of havoc, rather than the odd bout of mischief when bored. When assigned to an action, add 10 to the critical success chance, and lower the critical failure chance by 10, or to the limit of the success and failure chances.
Which, as you can imagine, would be horrifically overpowered if she was set on a high success chance action. A 15% chance to crit means that a double crit is 2.25%, as opposed to a 0.25% chance for a 5% single crit to double crit, and if she learns to properly harness her abilities it could get to insane heights. Let's say she was set on an action with an 80% chance of success. 8% chance to crit succeed means a 18% chance for her, or a 3.24% chance to double crit. Honestly, she'd probably be mostly useful for handling crit fail debuffs.
Her more reliable trait would probably be something like:
Tumbleweed of the Strange. Lydia has a habit of picking up unusual and rare materials seemingly from nowhere. She won't be able to, say, randomly stumble across the Mona Lisa, but if you need gold, titanium, diamonds, etc.? You'll find it or the means to purchase it readily available. Significant income/generic resource harvest boost.
Now, this might seem really strong, but Lydia is a Slice of Life protagonist, and her 'Villains' (for a given value of Villains) aren't evil enough to qualify for Aku's boost, so while she's not doing great like most of the world, she hasn't lost like most of the heroes. Not the least because she's not above doing something a little morally dubious under peer pressure.