XO: "Captain, we have a problem! We've touched the harbour floor! Thankfully there's no damage though..."
CO: "How? We're stationary and there's no flooding... right?"
XO: "And the tug near the front wants to file a complaint over damage from shoving him into a destroyer overnight."
CO: "I'm looking out the bridge at the exact same point as I was last night. We are stationary, so how is that possible?"
XO: "The men are reporting major changes to the machinery spaces. It looks like a Yorktown-class fit."
CO: "Huh... Wasp was always a trimmed Yorktown... I KNEW that skinniness was unnatural! WASP, WE NEED TO TALK!"
Wasp: "MMMPHH??"
CO: "Where..." *leans over bridge railing, looks at the deck parking lot of food trucks* "Why was I not informed that the 'food exhibition' on the deck, arranged as a fundraiser for the troops, was in fact a disguise for feeding the ship?"
Wasp: "MMM HMMMPH MMMGG NNNNGGGHH!" (WE DID TELL YOU!) *while shovelling more food down*
CO: "Notify the nearby ships that we're pulling out to a bigger berth, I have no idea what she's saying while she's stuffing her face like that."
The US Navy's new strategy for boosting carrier strength: docking Wasp somewhere and feeding her lots.