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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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*looks at proliferation of bear puns*

I had better close the vote before it gets any worse:V
Adhoc vote count started by DragonParadox on Apr 10, 2019 at 1:53 AM, finished with 299057 posts and 9 votes.
  • [X] Plan Northern Diplomacy
    -[X] "Then let us speak plainly. What I need is a bulwark against the coming Night, preferably without having to tip-toe around the idiot on said pointy chair and the pride of lions circling the carcass of a realm he 'rules'. Alas, the same honor that bides you to repay this favor makes that impossible." // No need to tip-toe around the topic. She is Jeor Mormonts sister. She is damn well aware what's going on beyond the wall. Also, actually make air-quotes.
    -[X] If she asks why we don't just invade already: "The very same reason. Victory needs to come with a minimum of effort and bloodshed to preserve the strength of the realm for what is to come."
    -[X] "There is however something you could do for me. At some point, a Braavosi man will come to your shores. He will speak of building an anchorage to build good ships. Whaling vessels going to the frozen waters to the north. He will speak of trade. Timber, furs and whatever else can be found on Bear Isle, traded towards Braavos and beyond. He will pay handsomely for the land and your support in all of this. When this man comes, just celebrate your good fortune and don't look too closely into his background. I can assure you that nothing he will do will be to your detriment or that of your liege lord."
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Winning vote

[] Plan Northern Diplomacy
-[] "Then let us speak plainly. What I need is a bulwark against the coming Night, preferably without having to tip-toe around the idiot on said pointy chair and the pride of lions circling the carcass of a realm he 'rules'. Alas, the same honor that bides you to repay this favor makes that impossible." // No need to tip-toe around the topic. She is Jeor Mormonts sister. She is damn well aware what's going on beyond the wall. Also, actually make air-quotes.
-[] If she asks why we don't just invade already: "The very same reason. Victory needs to come with a minimum of effort and bloodshed to preserve the strength of the realm for what is to come."
-[] "There is however something you could do for me. At some point, a Braavosi man will come to your shores. He will speak of building an anchorage to build good ships. Whaling vessels going to the frozen waters to the north. He will speak of trade. Timber, furs and whatever else can be found on Bear Isle, traded towards Braavos and beyond. He will pay handsomely for the land and your support in all of this. When this man comes, just celebrate your good fortune and don't look too closely into his background. I can assure you that nothing he will do will be to your detriment or that of your liege lord."
 
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Part MMDCCXXXVII: Pledges and Homecomings
  • Threadmarks
    • Pledges and Homecomings ​

    Thirtieth Day of the Eighth Month 293 AC

    "Then let us speak plainly. What I need is a bulwark against the coming Night, preferably without having to tip-toe around the idiot on said pointy chair and the pride of lions circling the carcass of a realm he 'rules'." You weigh down the word with enough sarcasm to sink a galleon. "Alas, the same honor that bids you to repay this favor makes that impossible."

    "Why does the stag still rule?" she asks, just as bluntly as you. "You know what is coming just as well as Jeor or better, what the gods foretold. Now of all times we need a strong king to take up the sword and shield, to unite the hosts of men, not beat drums and snarl at each other over the water."

    "The question you ask holds my answer at its heart," you reply instantly. "Victory needs to come with a minimum of effort and bloodshed to preserve the strength of the realm for what is to come. This is the long summer. We have more time to spare than we do lives."

    Maege Mormont looks you up and down in silence for a long moment before nodding. "Strange to know how long the summer will last, even in those terms. Most of those who try to guess at such things are hopeful fools, starving fools soon enough, but given what a winter this will be I can see why its coming must be known to us as far as the gods can tell us..." She sighs. "I just hope this isn't the sort of fight where the enemy can steal a march on us and catch us with our pants around our ankles."

    "There are many, many eyes bent upon guarding against such a calamity," you reply, as much of a reference to the Last Greenseer as you dare make. "While we must wait there is something you could do for me. At some point, a Braavosi man will come to your shores. He will speak of building an anchorage to build good ships. Whaling vessels going to the frozen waters of the north. He will speak of trade. Timber, furs, and whatever else can be found on Bear Island, traded towards Braavos and beyond. He will pay handsomely for the land and your support in all of this. When this man comes, just celebrate your good fortune and don't look too closely into his background. I can assure you that nothing he will do will be to your detriment or that of your liege lord."

    The lady listens to your proposal carefully before replying: "Now what would we poor Bear Islanders know of checking where a Braavosi came from or why he wants to spend money?" It pays to remember bears can be cunning too when there's honey to be found. After a moment she adds: "If you should happen to meet such a man in the future, tell him to dress and act as differently from the other Essosi folk that were sniffing around Jorah as he can. There are a lot of folk who hold grudges for that."

    "Not to worry, my lady, Braavos and Tyrosh have dramatically different opinions on what constitutes respectable attire," you answer with a smile.

    Your business done here you bid farewell to the She-Bear and set out in search for her secondborn daughter and her companions. They had not, as Lady Maege suggested in parting, gone to any tavern. Instead Oddric had been sent off to speak to Wyl's family and deliver the gold he had earned along with news of his fate while Alysane and Walter went to see their daughter. The green-sworn mage will have trouble enough explaining himself without your presence to muddy waters, so instead you remain within the dark-timbered halls of the keep seeking out the singer and the warrior.

    As you approach the door to their chambers you are surprised to hear the sound of growling and shuffling from behind the door, a much lighter voice than Alysane in her bear form, the sound of lighter paws. Did she...?

    Before the thought could run its course the door opens to reveal Alysane still in human form with a bear cub jumping excitedly in her arms and enthusiastically trying to lick her face. The cub, or rather the girl currently wearing bear's skin, starts pointing at you and growling at her mother.

    "If you want to know who it is you are going to have to introduce yourself," she says, trying and failing to sound stern.

    Still, the girl does listen, flesh and bone shifting by magic deeper than spell-craft to reveal a three-year old with a mop of dark blond curls the same color as her fur a moment ago: "Hi," she waves. "I'm Leona. Who are you?"

    "I'm Corlys, a traveler from far away here to speak to your mother and father about some things. Very boring grown-up things unfortunately..."

    "But I can talk to you later, right?" she pleads.

    "Right, once the boring parts are done," you agree, studiously ignoring Ser Richard's smile at your inability to just brush off the little girl entirely.

    What do you propose to Alysane and Walter Mormont?

    [] Swearing fealty to you
    -[] Write in arguments and terms

    [] Creating more werebears, now or in the future
    -[] Write in arguments and terms

    OOC: Unfortunately, due to Maege accepting the deal at once, this is a very short part. I thought about doing the Oddric scene first, but dropping Viserys on the meeting with Wyl's family just felt like needlessly jamming him into someone else's story and over-complicating things.
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • [X] Ask of the history of Bear Island's werebears and in exchange we speak of our own experience meeting with a werebear of the Dawn Times beyond the Wall.
     
    Getting her fealty would make it much easier to poke her about the bear thing once we have some time to research it.
     
    Something that encompasses "There's a fair chance it'll help a lot come winter, and we'll share our findings with you" would be enough, I feel. No fealty needed for this.

    So, marginally easier than it is now, at most.
     
    [X] Ask of the history of Bear Island's werebears and in exchange we speak of our own experience meeting with a werebear of the Dawn Times beyond the Wall.
    -[X] Ask her if she would be willing to return to SD in the coming months as we would like to study her unique ability. The bear beyond the wall wasn't wrong that it greatly enhances the power of a warrior and we would be interested to give those willing this ability.

    Might as well just try the direct approach. It should work much better now that she is safely at home.
     
    [X] Azel

    Well, the internet never fails to disturb me, even if I've mostly grown numb to it after the past couple decades.

    From looking for more neat Werebear pictures, I now know that that there is a startling amount of Werebear fiction that appears to be in trashy romance novel form. o_O
     
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    drewski346 said:
    The real question is how many werebear-bears did you find in the gay trashy romance section?
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    I didn't pay enough attention to figure out which were the regular trashy romance novels and which were the gay trashy romance novels, though come to think of it, I'm not sure how one would tell the difference without going a bit too deep down that particular rabbit hole?

    I'm going to go out on a limb, though, and guess that the Scottish Werebear series is for the dudes who like other dudes genre.
     
    Goldfish said:
    [X] Azel

    Well, the internet never fails to disturb me, even if I've mostly grown numb to it after the past couple decades.

    From looking for more neat Werebear pictures, I now know that that there is a startling amount of Werebear fiction that appears to be in trashy romance novel form. o_O
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    This is all it takes to disturb you? o_O
     
    Azel said:
    This is all it takes to disturb you? o_O
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    Eh, there are different degrees of "disturbed". I'm sitting here, drinking my morning coffee, scrolling through Werebear pics, then *BHAM* Scottish Werebear book, complete with ripped muscley guy on the cover. It's just strange for some reason. I know that Vampires got the trashy romance novel treatment (there's a lady at work who is really into that sub-genre...), and I think I recall hearing that Werewolves got a similar treatment, but Werebears? That's just weird.

    The ways of the spiderfish abomination are strange and nonsensical, and not meant for the minds of mortals or even Devils to understand! :oops:
     
    Goldfish said:
    Eh, there are different degrees of "disturbed". I'm sitting here, drinking my morning coffee, scrolling through Werebear pics, then *BHAM* Scottish Werebear book, complete with ripped muscley guy on the cover. It's just strange for some reason. I know that Vampires got the trashy romance novel treatment (there's a lady at work who is really into that sub-genre...), and I think I recall hearing that Werewolves got a similar treatment, but Werebears? That's just weird.

    The ways of the spiderfish abomination are strange and nonsensical, and not meant for the minds of mortals or even Devils to understand! :oops:
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    Speaking as a dude who samples from both sides of the buffet table, trust me when I say there is a lot of people interested in Were-anything. When it comes to magical creatures the trick is actually finding any source that hasn't been given the trashy romance treatment.

    Ever since Twilight, may that abomination rot in the deepest part of L-space, came into existence cool non-fetishistic pictures of were-creatures and vampires have become almost impossible to find.

    The picture I found took me at least 3 different searches over 10 minutes.
     
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