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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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DragonParadox said:
Hated and Honored ​

Seventh Day of the Fifth Month 294 AC

In the end there can be no contest. While you recognize the worth of Sul Da's skills in Mantarys, Menel was the man who taught a boy who still thought coin came from 'taxing the smallfolk', or at best 'conning criminals', the meaning of trade. Would you have gotten so far so fast without those lessons? Not all your foresight and all your magic say for certain, but it is undeniable that for that and for his leal service these past months, he is owed the closest of considerations, and his proposals for the ministry and his predictions for the broad flow of trade are well written and argued. Bold without being headlong and calculating without wholly forgetting the human costs involved.

"You do me the greatest honor, Majesty," the seemingly young man bows elegantly, though one has only to look into his eyes to see the rich and storied history that gleams there. "I fear there might yet be some who shall object to my rising so far and so fast, but I shall do my best to reconcile with who I may and keep the others from troubling you overmuch."

You wave that concern aside before he can say more on the matter. "If there are any in Braavos or abroad who would complain at your appointment, then they may come before the throne to see the matter settled."

At that Menel laughs darkly. "Few would be so bold, Majesty, though I confess I would wish to see at least one standing there for the lightness of my heart." With that he bows low again and departs from your study to be about his duties. A wheel well turning among the ordering of the realm.

Thus, as evening falls to dusk, gleaming gold and crimson over the white roofs of Sorcerer's Deep, you ponder the position that is likely to be among all the ministries of your realm the least loved, the taxman. Yet though no man loves being parted from his coin, only a fool would discount the position and grant it to one already unloved. For a moment it is as though the shade of Petyr Baelish stands before you one last time in mute rebuttal of the folly that had seen such as him given the keys of a treasury.

"The citizens may not love the taxman, but they damn well should if they have any sense..." you muse to a slumbering Varys who only flicks her tail and turns her head aside, having no care for the work of an empire one way or another.

"Talking to yourself again?" she grumbles.

You shake your head more in amusement than exasperation. "Only because you are not listening, my friend. What if one day I should be called away to some urgent task and you should have to sit on the throne in my place to render judgement?"

"Why then I should call upon Malarys on my right with law in hand and Ser Richard on my left with sword in hand, and I would see who dares come before me seeking redress, and to them I would grant their will for their boldness," the replies, still sleepy.

"You would make a dreadful judge," you laugh at her reply.

"Why then it would best never ask me to sit in judgement," your familiar replies, faux innocence dripping from her forked tongue.

It is therefore alone that you are faced with reviewing the files of those who might see that the realm is given its due, those of your Companions who are responsible enough to help while having other tasks and those who are not having found other places to be. The first proposal is a Tyroshi magistrate of impeccable record and by some coincidence the father of Lydia of rat-making fame, though you do not jest on the matter with him as you would have done with most others in his position, for it is clear Argentos Aertis has little use for humor, most of all at his own expense. Not an easy man to work with, though perhaps that could be turned to a strength and not a weakness in time.

The second candidate who steps into your study is far more experienced, indeed he has seen aeons collecting that which others did not wish to relinquish and he is skilled at following trails of parchment to any spy or thief, and you have no doubts as to his loyalty, for if you did he would not be in your service at all. Only one concern do you have in that glowing report... it is the molten gold gaze of a Harvester devil that looks up at you over a cup of steaming Myrish tea. It is one thing to get men to trust that the furies do not mean them ill when they are far away on business that does not concern them, another for them to trust one of the baatezu with the contents of their coin purses.

You bid the baatezu a courteous farewell therefore, and consider the last name on the short list. Aldo Wyl is troubled by who he had just passed by the door, but you doubt an eye less careful than yours would have caught it. The grey-haired Dornish noble has eyes as sharp as castle forged steel and according to Doran, who had originally patronized him, he has seen to it that all the taxes old and new were paid in full, caring not if kith nor kin would try to sway him.

A distant cousin of the main branch of House Wyl and born without any great skill for the traditional tasks of the nobility, he had gotten by on a head for numbers that few other nobles cultivated. Where the likes of Baelish saw the scorn of their fellows as cause to cheat and steal, Aldo had gone the other way, scrupulously honest and willing to hang anyone who transgressed over it. Still, that had not kept the man from seeking greener pastures in the east once he saw how your realm had been growing and Doran had released him to your service more than a year and a half ago, time in which he has served with distinction as part of the old Office of Taxation.

[] Argentos Aertis
+Perfect Recall (Possesses Eidetic Memory almost akin to Lya as the only expression of an otherwise latent magical affinity)
+Exemplary Judicial Service (Is one of the most skilled and most fair judges in Tyrosh)
+Last of his line (Has no family save his young daughter to call upon undue loyalties)
-Tongue of Iron (His courtesies sound rehearsed and and artificial, his manner cold and unfeeling)
-High standards (Difficult to work with, he has gone through more court scribes than any other magistrate in Tyrosh)

[] Iziku of the Deep
+Eons of Experience (Has served in the taxation system of Mammon the Golden)
+Follow the Ink (Skilled in spotting inconsistency and fraud)
+Relentless (As one who has hunted souls across the spheres he would never relent in seeking out the state's due)
--Devil in the Dark (His nature is likely to worry any cautious or pious souls no matter what you put out in the Times)

[] Aldo Wyl
+High Scruples (Has never taken a bribe nor softened his hand for kith or kin even when he served in Dorne where such was more accepted at the time)
+Ruthlessly Fair (Takes personal satisfaction in bringing malefactors to justice, though he has never let it get in the way of his sense of fairness)
+Channeled Ambition (Very loyal to the Imperium as the place where he has most been able to find a place of honor as befits his skills)
-Dornish Favoritism (Doran is already the only Prince in your realm, the other lords of Westeros will not look with favor upon a Dornishman being in charge of their taxes)
-Too Finely Sharpened (Does not seem to have any interests or passions outside his work which might leave him psychologically vulnerable)

OOC: I did roll for a Sarnori lich, but that did not pan out. No immigrants with the right skills and interests yet from that corner.
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Made a few additional edits to the chapter, DP.
 
Iziku is tempting (haha, I made a punny). He's got a lot of good selling points and I don't think him being a Devil is any significant hurdle to overcome. If people get too uppity about it, they might just end up getting audited to make sure they're not trying to cheat on their taxes. Totally by coincidence, of course!

Gonna go with Aldo, though. He's got a proven background specifically in tax collection and his temperament is perfect for this position. I couldn't care less about others seeing this as us favoring the Dornish. We do favor them. Suck it, Westeros.

His mono-focus on the job might be an issue, but it's not likely to be an insurmountable one.

[X] Aldo Wyl
 
Goldfish said:
Iziku is tempting (haha, I made a punny). He's got a lot of good selling points and I don't think him being a Devil is any significant hurdle to overcome. If people get too uppity about it, they might just end up getting audited to make sure they're not trying to cheat on their taxes. Totally by coincidence, of course!

Gonna go with Aldo, though. He's got a proven background specifically in tax collection and his temperament is perfect for this position. I couldn't care less about others seeing this as us favoring the Dornish. We do favor them. Suck it, Westeros.

His mono-focus on the job might be an issue, but it's not likely to be an insurmountable one.

[X] Aldo Wyl
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The mono-focus leads me to believe DP's gonna make him Void bait or something. That's an oddly specific flaw to point out.
 
Duesal said:
The mono-focus leads me to believe DP's gonna make him Void bait or something. That's an oddly specific flaw to point out.
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Viserys can think of many ways in which obsession like that can be used against someone, not all or even most of them having to do with supernatural powers. Human beings are supposed to have some kind of diversion the same way they are supposed to sleep and eat.
 
I'm also deeply suspicious of that flaw of Wyl and I'm pretty sure it will lead to some kind of disaster in the near future.
 
...

[X] Make a Fungal Lich in the Fungus Forge and appoint it as the Tax Minister

There! Problem solved! No strings attached, surprise mechanics!
 
DragonParadox said:
No experience either and little knowledge of how humans and other mortals work. 'Incarnate nature spirits' are good for a lot of things, taxman is not one of them.
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Can we make a souped-up fungus leshy to be in charge of sanitation? All they have to do is eat every bit of shit they see leaving aside the shit farmers collect for fertilization.
 
Duesal said:


But more seriously, if we can build roads and bridges out of nothing, it's safe to say conservation of matter was dragged into a dark alley and stabbed a long time ago.
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We didn't make those out of nothing. We transformed locally available dirt and stone using magic.

Conservation of Matter is still a thing.
 
Duesal said:
Conservation of Matter survives another day...
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There are simply some rules that have to exist for a universe to remain functional. If magic can do literally anything, then there would be no way that universe would have even a passing resemblance to ours. Everyone would be living in fully automated gay space communist arcologies, assuming they didn't merge into some sort of hivemind instead.
 
The PR concerns of making our tax collector are substantial, but I think we can handle it. We just need a counterbalancing force to make the ministries as a whole look better, which is why we should appoint Zathir to education in the same announcement. :V

[X] Iziku of the Deep
 
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