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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Crake said:
Instead we stomp in with more chaotic energy than our body can contain and absolutely zero fucks on hand.
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My good ser, look upon these lands. In the day's of my father, we used to grow from here the shore to the mountains yonder. Row upon row, field upon field, the finest produce you ever saw. Thick and juicy, sweet and crisp. Yet now this earth lies fallow. No plow has it seen for many a summer, for only weeds and dust grow upon this wilted earth. No good ser, there is nothing to be done. No single Fuck there is to give.
 
[X] Crake

In between conquering the Plane of Balance and restoring Hellven, I do enjoy how we committ to trolling Westerosi lords.
 
Vote closed. Interlude next to show this from Wenyld's perspective
Adhoc vote count started by DragonParadox on Mar 27, 2020 at 6:24 AM, finished with 85 posts and 19 votes.
  • [X] Meet the Fossoway girl, and as you had aided the heir to House Mallery, so might Buttercup aid the girl in crowning herself in glory, and to follow it a song of the blunderous and blighted Ser Fossoway, rotten to the core, made a fool by a green apple finally ripened.
    -[X] As far as the competition itself, you intend to make a name for yourself as a scoundrel and a jester, but also someone clearly sticking up for the little man, so when Ser Fossoway makes a clear villain of himself at the competition, you narrate events in song to make it certain people remember him that way.
    -[X] Should the Knight like his honor avenged, ensure it is made known beforehand that someone had signed the minstrel Buttercup up for the melee as some kind of joke, though given the man's character one he is likely foolhardy enough to dare.
    --[X] Start by giving her Greater Magic Weapon, Cat's Grace, Heroes Feast and Greater Heroism along with Moment of Greatness as a reserve or in case she needs an extra boost to start, as it doubles morale bonuses. Then a potion of Blessed Aim right off, followed later by another potion of Divine Favor and then hit her with Brilliant Inspiration, for a more crucial bout, explained as something he received as a gift from a fey maiden who's heart he stole (though implied more jokingly--or pitifully--as something he was handed to stop making advances towards her). You'll disguise all of that, as though only two of those spells diverge from the Bard spell list, and low level ones at that, you kind of want her to get away with it, too, using Cloak of Khyber and Magic Aura. You will use two Mythic Power to make Greater Heroism Extended (lasting 40 minutes) and Cat's Grace persistent, as casting 9th Level spells sends too big a wave to magical senses (not to mention it being a waste of high level spells, not that you ever cared about that) so as to remain more subtle.
    -[X] Because of the caveat of you having to be subtle about your spellcasting, you will apply all long duration buffs right off the bat to ensure she is benefiting as much as possible from spell effects throughout the competition while out of sight of anyone who could detect such. Any further spellcasting will only be conducted if you are absolutely sure you won't be found out, using divination to determine well or woe of that if necessary.
    ---[X] This way, she should have at least a +13 bonus to attack rolls throughout the competition, up to +16 for a more important bout, potentially up to +18 during with Moment of Greatness for some mad bulls eyes, in addition to a best of two rolls from Brilliant Inspiration. Even supposing she had real competition in this contest, she shouldn't expect to be defeated by anything less than a extremely specialized PC who is similarly cheating.
    ----[X] Why go so far to help some girl he's never met? Well, aside from wanting to see her succeed since he's got a soft-spot for the underdog trying to prove themselves to the world, liking the idea of writing a song (when don't we?), Ser Fossoway was an utter ass to Buttercup. Now, you can insult Buttercup's friends as you please, because they'll probably prove you wrong and they're more than capable of taking care of themselves, but no one makes fun of the bard. The lute is the most deadly weapon in the world, and you intend to show people why.
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...shall we publish this in our pamphlets one day?
:V

That one fey in Lys, the aberration one, was pretty enraged by us gobbling up all the plotlines "roles" around.

By now he'd have fffucking died of an aneurism.
:V
 
egoo said:
...shall we publish this in our pamphlets one day?
:V

That one fey in Lys, the aberration one, was pretty enraged by us gobbling up all the plotlines "roles" around.

By now he'd have fffucking died of an aneurism.
:V
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After the Re-Conquest, my friend. We don't want those unwashed barbarians to think that we are playing them with a fiddle. Because, while technically we are, that would cause some unnecessary headaches in the future regarding untrusting vassals and minions.
 
this tourny also seems like a good time to get rumors from Westeros at least. i also really want to send some of our adventurers to the summerset isles next month if we have options open becousei have a damn feeling that the place will spontaniously combust if we don't have a looik at some point
 
Jack vile Ripper said:
I think you meant Summer Isles.

Summerset Isles is an Elven Kingdom from Elder Scrolls who's people have the ego the size of the entire Great Wheel and beyond.

Unsurprising. They're High Elves after all.
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i honestly don't know why i said summerset isles. but yeah the summer isles. their gods seem to be a good bunch and i want to see what fun things and magic and other diciplines they might have, also there were those orchards that got burned down by some supernatural force with the power to put people to sleep so we have a reason to send at least some people there to have a look and solve some problems
 
Rovos said:
i honestly don't know why i said summerset isles. but yeah the summer isles. their gods seem to be a good bunch and i want to see what fun things and magic and other diciplines they might have, also there were those orchards that got burned down by some supernatural force with the power to put people to sleep so we have a reason to send at least some people there to have a look and solve some problems
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We should also send out some feelers about peaceful annexation of as much of it as possible. The Summer Isles stand to win quite a bit from trade with the Imperium at large.
 
Azel said:
We should also send out some feelers about peaceful annexation of as much of it as possible. The Summer Isles stand to win quite a bit from trade with the Imperium at large.
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Considering that we dont: a) try to uproot their social status, b) erase their cultural heritage, and c) force them into slavery, I think we have quite a good odds to bring them to the fold.

Strange, usually with an Empire with our size and might, they just skipped past Diplomacy and went straight to genocide. With the notion that nothing can stop them.

It's a nice fresh air to see that we did not try to become Valyria or the Solar Deliberative by being a colossal asshole with all of our arsenals and magic.

Now, if only OTHER people also gets the memo.
 
Eh, we've got so many world-ending enemies in the queue, we don't have to add 'stupid civil war for stupid evil reasons'.
 
Jack vile Ripper said:
Considering that we dont: a) try to uproot their social status, b) erase their cultural heritage, and c) force them into slavery, I think we have quite a good odds to bring them to the fold.

Strange, usually with an Empire with our size and might, they just skipped past Diplomacy and went straight to genocide. With the notion that nothing can stop them.

It's a nice fresh air to see that we did not try to become Valyria or the Solar Deliberative by being a colossal asshole with all of our arsenals and magic.

Now, if only OTHER people also gets the memo.
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Most empires act that way out of arrogance, believing their own propaganda, or being unwilling to settle for anything that isn't total subjugation and exploitation of "their lessers".

Viserys income isn't reliant on working people to death and stealing the products of their labor. His income relies on taxation. He is interested in subjugating functional economies, not war torn wreckages. It's quite a different incentive structure.
 
Azel said:
Viserys income isn't reliant on working people to death and stealing the products of their labor. His income relies on taxation. He is interested in subjugating functional economies, not war torn wreckages. It's quite a different incentive structure.
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He's also gets an itch when he encounters inefficient governments.
 
Azel said:
Viserys income isn't reliant on working people to death and stealing the products of their labor. His income relies on taxation. He is interested in subjugating functional economies, not war torn wreckages. It's quite a different incentive structure.
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Letting the economy circulate with each other and grow.

I like it. It makes your friends rich, your Empire rich, and most importantly ourselves filthy rich.
 
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