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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Nickan said:
If we want to be completely tongue-in-cheek, print out an 'Operations for the safety of Westeros' - a completely accurate one barring perhaps strategic goals of ours in progress. Then base the Monster Manual out of said encounters and what little could peasants have done against them.

Dread Sorcerer Viserys Targaryen
- Event 1
- Event 2
-

Lannisters, the faith, the crown and so on.

"Because while busy doing a dozen other more important things, yet found the time guard you lot, my once and future subjects. You are welcome!"

@Crake, hit the disney tunes.


OK, OK

I see what's happening here
You're face-to-face with greatness and it's strange
You don't even know how you feel.
It's adorable!
Well, it's nice to see that mortals never change

Open your eyes, let's begin
Yes, it's really me,
It's Viserys! Breathe it in
I know it's a lot:
The hair, the bod!
When you're staring at a Dragon Quasi-God

What can I say except "You're welcome"
For the economy, Mantarys, and your formerly dying Gods?
Hey, it's OK, it's OK. You're welcome
I'm just an ordinary dragon-guy!

Hey, what has two thumbs and held off the Pit
When you were waddling yay high?
This guy!
When the nights got cold, who kept back the Long Night and Ithilidae from down below?
You're looking at him, yo!

Oh, also I wrassled the Lung, Yi Tish if you didn't know
—you're welcome—
To lengthen your days and keep you from being well done
Also, I harnessed the power of steam
—You're welcome—
To fill your sails and break your piggy bankies

So what can I say except "You're welcome"
For the islands I pulled up from the shattered sea?
There's no need to pray, really don't send them my way
You're welcome
I guess it's just my way of being me

You're welcome, you're welcome
Well, come to think of it

Kid, honestly I can go on and on
I can explain every unnatural phenomenon
The Living Brass mages, the incarnate spirit sages, the ground-breaking enchanted necrophages
Oh, that was Viserys just messing around
I killed an Aboleth, I buried its deep-guts
Sprouted a heart tree, now you've got bloody entrails to go with your bear butts
What's the lesson? What is the take-away?
Don't mess with Viserys when he's on the break-away
And the tapestry here in my Doom Keep?
Is a map of the victories upon which I heap
Look where I've been. I make everything happen
Look at that mean mini Varys just tippity tappin'
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hey!

Well, anyway, let me say you're welcome!
For the wonderful world as you now know
Hey, it's OK, it's OK. You're welcome!
Well, come to think of it, I gotta go

Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome!
'Cause I'm gonna need that Spell-Jammer boat
I'm flying away, away. You're welcome!
'Cause Viserys can do anything but not gloat
You're welcome, you're welcome

And thank you!
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Ah yes, one of my better works.
 
So let's recap the issues we can talk to peasants about:
  • No more going hungry in Winter. The lands bloom under our rule, both from our magic and the blessings of the Gods.
    • Yes, we have a bigger Sept than Robert does. Also the OG are our buddies.
  • You can fear magic - or it can create jobs and wealth. It can make everyone live longer, healthier, and richer. Jobs and Healthcare! What more could you want!
  • You've heard the stories of magic, and of monsters. Do you want to be ruled by a coward and an idiot, or by the Sorcerer-King who promises peace between Fey and men? The fey will be subject to same laws and justice as you! The Children of the Forest have returned to our realm, living in harmony with mortals like they did millenia ago! The Age of Heroes, returned!
    • As the Deep Ones stir from their watery halls, there is but one who would match flame against water, but one with the strength to drive them back from the land. Would one rather have a dragon or a stag on one's side in war?
  • Justice. We promise clearer laws, fairness, and a separation of powers. We can straight-up break out into Montesquieu's basic theories here. It worked IRL, after all.
  • Tywin using magic to bind the minds of his vassals. A slaver Lord! Shocking! A slaver lord is a lord who breaks the basics of the feudal contract - and here we explicitly say what that is and remind people to fight for it if necessary. We also remind everyone of how well we've been following it.
  • Who will keep the Sorcerers in check? Who will stop rapacious lords from preying on their smallfolk? Us! We ended slavery. We've always stood for the common folk. Our people are rich and fed, and those who defend their fellows all wear full plate because we care for them. We're promising a fairer world, in which peasants can be protected from Lords and the meaning of the word justice doesn't change every week.
 
What about something like this, @Crake?

[] "Greetings, gentlefolk of Westeros. My name is Viserys Targaryen, though I am known by many others. If you would give me but a moment of your time, I would like to tell you a story, a story of a young boy and his infant sister, cast out into the world to fend for themselves."
-[] In short, explain how we were forced into exile by Robert Baratheon, carried to safety in far off Braavos by the loyal Ser Willem Darry in order to avoid the horrific fate which befell our kinfolk when King's Landing fell to Lannister treachery.
--[] We grew up in Braavos, untroubled by the events of the world as children so often are. Eventually Ser Darry passed and magic returned to the world. We struggled, faced hardships and monsters, but grew strong. We gathered friends, loyal companions all, and we helped to defend Braavos from inhuman threats which now plague so much of the world.
---[] And then we had to leave our comfortable home in Braavos, not for any wrongdoing on our part, but due to threats levied against the city that had welcomed us. Jon Arryn, the Hand of the Usurper, threatened the well being of Braavos, to block its traders from all Westerosi ports. Rather than force our friend the Sealord to decide whether to defy the Usurper and watch his city wither, or cast us out of our home, we voluntarily departed, going once more into exile.
----[] All was not lost, however, and soon we set foot upon unfriendly shores, the pirate's haven of Torturer's Deep. Through force of arms and powerful magic, the island was cleansed of the cutthroats infesting it, so that a new city could rise, one founded on principles we learned growing up in Braavos. We had a new mission, to rid the Narrow Sea and Essos of slavery.
-----[] Our successes came quickly, wiping slavers from the Narrow Sea that had previously gone unopposed for centuries. That success attracted the Usurper's fearful gaze once more, and for a third time he sought to chase us from our home, this time with a grand fleet, one bought and paid for with Lannister gold. This time we chose to make a stand.
------[] To Be Continued
 
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Goldfish said:
What about something like this, @Crake?

[] "Greetings, gentlefolk of Westeros. My name is Viserys Targaryen, though I am known by many others. If you would give me but a moment of your time, I would like to tell you a story, a story of a young boy and his infant sister, cast out into the world to fend for themselves."
-[] In short, explain how we were forced into exile by Robert Baratheon, carried to safety in far off Braavos by the loyal Ser Willem Darry in order to avoid the horrific fate which befell our kinfolk when King's Landing fell to Lannister treachery.
--[] We grew up in Braavos, untroubled by the events of the world as children so often are. Eventually Ser Darry passed and magic returned to the world. We struggled, faced hardships and monsters, but grew strong. We gathered friends, loyal companions all, and we helped to defend Braavos from inhuman threats which now plague so much of the world.
---[] And then we had to leave our comfortable home in Braavos, not for any wrongdoing on our part, but due to threats levied against the city that had welcomed us. Jon Arryn, the Hand of the Usurper, threatened the well being of Braavos, to block its traders from all Westerosi ports. Rather than force our friend the Sealord to decide whether to defy the Usurper or watch his city wither, we voluntarily departed, going once more into exile.
----[] All was not lost, however, and soon we set foot upon unfriendly shores, the pirate's haven of Torturer's Deep. Through force of arms and powerful magic, the island was cleansed of the cutthroats infesting it, so that a new city could rise, one founded on principles we learned growing up in Braavos. We had a new mission, to rid the narrow sea and Essos of slavery.
-----[] Our successes came quickly, wiping slavers from the Narrow Sea that had previously gone unopposed for centuries. That success attracted the Usurper's fearful gaze once more, and for a third time he sought to chase us from our home, this time with a grand fleet, one bought and paid for with Lannister gold. This time we chose to make a stand.
------[] To Be Continued
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Ehhh Idk how much we want to emphasize Viserys' Bravos-iness here. Might turn Westerosi peeps off.
 
Crake said:
Write something and I'll add it? The fact of the matter is public address is a better way to inform people that injustices have been served and will be righted, since it puts a face to who is righting those injustices in the same breath.

Reading about how they're being ill-serviced and how incompetent their rulers are is all well and good, but it's just magic paper at the end of the day, paper that many peasants will burn on principle even if a quarter of them don't and pass it along to others who will also be outraged.
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While I'm not saying writing something down won't help get the point across we should also remember that this is a medieval society. The peasantry weren't exactly the most literate of people. So while all this talk about making sure the peasants don't burn the paper is all well and good. We should also keep in mind that even if you right down a real catchy slogan it's not going to mean much to the average illiterate peasant. The pictures are descriptive enough that people will understand, but if you start creating an almanac it will just look like a bunch a squiggly lines on paper.
[X] Crake
 
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Fallout5368 said:
While I'm not saying writing something down won't help get the point across we should also remember that this is a medieval society. The peasantry weren't exactly the most literate of people. So while all this talk about making sure the peasants don't burn the paper is all well and good. We should also keep in mind that even if you right down a real catchy slogan it's not going to mean much to the average illiterate peasant. The pictures are descriptive enough that people will understand, but if you start creating an almanac it will just look like a bunch a squiggly lines on paper.

Edit: [X] Crake
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Actually, we've made these things so that even an illiterate peasant can read them. Magic is bullshit like that.
 
More than that we have a target audience, illeriate pesents. So pictures are a must, we are not giving these panflite to more of the literate lords and such. So we need pictures and catchy slogans.
 
@Crake, this seems like a great place to make pro-Imperium propaganda along the lines of recruitment for the Legion, the Scholarum, the Inquisition, the Imperial Administration, etc. Stuff like the old WWII posters, except with Truespeech and whatnot. A lot of them make for a very easy switch.

For the Inquisition we could have fiends lurking in dark corners, with the caption demanding citizens report suspicious activity for the good of the empire.

For the Legion we could have a scene of liberation, marching into an obviously slaver city and striking off their chains.

Etc etc, you get the idea. We all saw the same sorts of propaganda in school. Either way, if we're getting started on our own propaganda, I just felt we shouldn't neglect promoting our official institutions.
 
Goldfish said:
What about something like this, @Crake?

[] "Greetings, gentlefolk of Westeros. My name is Viserys Targaryen, though I am known by many others. If you would give me but a moment of your time, I would like to tell you a story, a story of a young boy and his infant sister, cast out into the world to fend for themselves."
-[] In short, explain how we were forced into exile by Robert Baratheon, carried to safety in far off Braavos by the loyal Ser Willem Darry in order to avoid the horrific fate which befell our kinfolk when King's Landing fell to Lannister treachery.
--[] We grew up in Braavos, untroubled by the events of the world as children so often are. Eventually Ser Darry passed and magic returned to the world. We struggled, faced hardships and monsters, but grew strong. We gathered friends, loyal companions all, and we helped to defend Braavos from inhuman threats which now plague so much of the world.
---[] And then we had to leave our comfortable home in Braavos, not for any wrongdoing on our part, but due to threats levied against the city that had welcomed us. Jon Arryn, the Hand of the Usurper, threatened the well being of Braavos, to block its traders from all Westerosi ports. Rather than force our friend the Sealord to decide whether to defy the Usurper and watch his city wither, or cast us out of our home, we voluntarily departed, going once more into exile.
----[] All was not lost, however, and soon we set foot upon unfriendly shores, the pirate's haven of Torturer's Deep. Through force of arms and powerful magic, the island was cleansed of the cutthroats infesting it, so that a new city could rise, one founded on principles we learned growing up in Braavos. We had a new mission, to rid the Narrow Sea and Essos of slavery.
-----[] Our successes came quickly, wiping slavers from the Narrow Sea that had previously gone unopposed for centuries. That success attracted the Usurper's fearful gaze once more, and for a third time he sought to chase us from our home, this time with a grand fleet, one bought and paid for with Lannister gold. This time we chose to make a stand.
------[] To Be Continued
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The life and times of Viserys Targaryen isn't bad, but Talon wants to actually explain the basics of why Targ = Good and Lion = Teh Badz.

I mean yes, spreading the (mostly accurate) accounts of our success might give them a folk hero to rally around, but we're already basically that in the Riverlands. We can do it by having a personal touch to each occasion, it barely takes us a couple of weeks to act like a literal folk hero and help people spread the word about our deeds with bards and stuff.
 
Fallout5368 said:
While I'm not saying writing something down won't help get the point across we should also remember that this is a medieval society. The peasantry weren't exactly the most literate of people. So while all this talk about making sure the peasants don't burn the paper is all well and good. We should also keep in mind that even if you right down a real catchy slogan it's not going to mean much to the average illiterate peasant. The pictures are descriptive enough that people will understand, but if you start creating an almanac it will just look like a bunch a squiggly lines on paper.

Edit: [X] Crake
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Looks like you need to remove the "Edit:" from the front of your vote for the tally to track it.
 
Crake said:
The life and times of Viserys Targaryen isn't bad, but Talon wants to actually explain the basics of why Targ = Good and Lion = Teh Badz.

I mean yes, spreading the (mostly accurate) accounts of our success might give them a folk hero to rally around, but we're already basically that in the Riverlands. We can do it by having a personal touch to each occasion, it barely takes us a couple of weeks to act like a literal folk hero and help people spread the word about our deeds with bards and stuff.
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I don't have an issue with @TalonofAnathrax's approach, I just thought we could do some work to further humanize Viserys in the eyes of the smallfolk. Make it a multi-part serial telling the barebones of his life.
 
Crake said:
The life and times of Viserys Targaryen isn't bad, but Talon wants to actually explain the basics of why Targ = Good and Lion = Teh Badz.

I mean yes, spreading the (mostly accurate) accounts of our success might give them a folk hero to rally around, but we're already basically that in the Riverlands. We can do it by having a personal touch to each occasion, it barely takes us a couple of weeks to act like a literal folk hero and help people spread the word about our deeds with bards and stuff.
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I've been eyeing the Vale for our next instance of that...
 
Hmmm, maybe something about the lannisters taking over?

Something with a lion eating a stag.
 
Speed53066 said:
More than that we have a target audience, illeriate pesents. So pictures are a must, we are not giving these panflite to more of the literate lords and such. So we need pictures and catchy slogans.
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Actually, the words are supposed to convey the meaning directly to the person reading them, so using obscure words that peasants ordinarily would have a hard time of grasping doesn't actually impede them from fully getting what they are trying to convey in this case.

Paradoxically, being verbose about it will simply give them insight into how King Viserys thinks, which might make them feel special.
 
Crane gets it. I'm not just trying to convince them that we are a folk hero : I'm trying to convince them that being on our side is being on the side of justice, safety, health and prosperity. Meanwhile being against us is falling for the lies of the slavers, the selfish thieves and the idiots.

For IRL inspiration, check out the sort of pamphlets that were spread before IRL revolutions (especially in the USA, France and the UK)
The smallfolk can understand some fairly complex political theory, you know. People aren't stupid ! Use clear and punchy language and you can turn this into a "feudalism Vs reform" debate, which we are sure to win.
 
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Here's what we'll do @TalonofAnathrax @Goldfish @Duesal.

Everyone write their stuff. We'll include ALL of it. We'll do a poster with each broadsheet set, we'll have little editorials which are the equivalent of a Rumor Post, but this time we're generating the rumors as we wish them to be heard/read. We'll include a monster's manual. We'll include political cartoons. And we'll have a serialized story about Viserys and the Companions, probably literally called "the Life and Times of Viserys Targaryen". Because why not be on the nose about it?

Finally we'll have a foreword, explaining what our positions actually are, why they are to your (the smallfolk's) benefit and why anyone opposed to our works is either a petty tyrant, a moron or a devil-thrall/cultist/madman.

Everyone write what you want and we'll consolidate. The final result will be:

The Imperial Times
 
Crake said:
Here's what we'll do @TalonofAnathrax @Goldfish @Duesal.

Everyone write their stuff. We'll include ALL of it. We'll do a poster with each broadsheet set, we'll have little editorials which are the equivalent of a Rumor Post, but this time we're generating the rumors as we wish them to be heard/read. We'll include a monster's manual. We'll include political cartoons. And we'll have a serialized story about Viserys and the Companions, probably literally called "the Life and Times of Viserys Targaryen". Because why not be on the nose about it?

Finally we'll have a foreword, explaining what our positions actually are, why they are to your (the smallfolk's) benefit and why anyone opposed to our works is either a petty tyrant, a moron or a devil-thrall/cultist/madman.

Everyone write what you want and we'll consolidate. The final result will be:

The Imperial Times
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Here's my part:

[] "An Exile's Journey, Part One"
-[] "Greetings, gentlefolk of Westeros. My name is Viserys Targaryen, though I am known by many others. If you would give me but a moment of your time, I would like to tell you a story, a story of a young boy and his infant sister, cast out into the world to fend for themselves."
--[] In short, explain how we were forced into exile by Robert Baratheon, carried to safety in far off Braavos by the loyal Ser Willem Darry in order to avoid the horrific fate which befell our kinfolk when King's Landing fell to Lannister treachery.
---[] We grew up in Braavos, untroubled by the events of the world as children so often are. Eventually Ser Darry passed and magic returned to the world. We struggled, faced hardships and monsters, but grew strong. We gathered friends, loyal companions all, and we helped to defend Braavos from inhuman threats which now plague so much of the world.
----[] And then we had to leave our comfortable home in Braavos, not for any wrongdoing on our part, but due to threats levied against the city that had welcomed us. Jon Arryn, the Hand of the Usurper, threatened the well being of Braavos, to block its traders from all Westerosi ports. Rather than force our friend the Sealord to decide whether to defy the Usurper and watch his city wither, or cast us out of our home, we voluntarily departed, going once more into exile.
-----[] All was not lost, however, and soon we set foot upon unfriendly shores, the pirate's haven of Torturer's Deep. Through force of arms and powerful magic, the island was cleansed of the cutthroats infesting it, so that a new city could rise, Sorcerer's Deep, one founded on principles we learned growing up in Braavos. We had a new mission, to rid the Narrow Sea and Essos of slavery.
------[] Our successes came quickly, wiping slavers from the Narrow Sea that had previously gone unopposed for centuries. That success attracted the Usurper's fearful gaze once more, and for a third time he sought to chase us from our home, this time with a grand fleet, one bought and paid for with Lannister gold. This time we chose to make a stand.
-------[] To Be Continued
 
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Another idea.


A red faced septon in a westeros city screaming about demons and evil while demons wearing masks of his clergy stand behind him smiling wickedly.

The caption being "From poisoned council hate springs"

A picture of a bunch of smallfolk being dragged into the sea by tentacled monsters screaming for help while members of the golden shields burn a small girl with tears in her eyes.

The caption being something about the golden sheilds ignoring the real threats.
 
A group of men before a serene faced heart tree having their wounds heal in the deep while a priest of the seven beats down a blind crippled begger with a fanatical rage on his face.

A smallfolk family looks between the two in thought.

The caption being "Which should they choose?"
 
lockingbane said:
Another idea.


A red faced septon in a westeros city screaming about demons and evil while demons wearing masks of his clergy stand behind him smiling wickedly.

The caption being "From poisoned council hate springs"

A picture of a bunch of smallfolk being dragged into the sea by tentacled monsters screaming for help while members of the golden shields burn a small girl with tears in her eyes.

The caption being something about the golden sheilds ignoring the real threats.
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lockingbane said:
A group of men before a serene faced heart tree having their wounds heal in the deep while a priest of the seven beats down a blind crippled begger with a fanatical rage on his face.

A smallfolk family looks between the two in thought.

The caption being "Which should they choose?"
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Only issue I see with this is that it might be a bit too provocative against the Faith of the Seven. We're trying to do the whole truce thing with them at the moment and this wouldn't help that effort very much.
 
Maybe fey-based folklore with a slight bent towards the Imperium? That way we can subtly influence their story to be more friendly with our image
 
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