Ling Qi let out a slow breath as she ended her meditation in front of the Argent Vent. Seated cross legged on the smooth stone floor, Ling Qi could feel without looking outside that several hours had passed and night had fallen. Stellar qi tingled at the edges of her senses, even through the width of earth and stone between her and the dim moonlight. Normally, she would be going out to soak in the lunar energies, but tonight, she had other intentions. She had thought long and hard on where she should begin her composition efforts. She had paid a visit to Mother and Biyu, and come close to asking her mother for advice. She had considered going once more to Zeqing, though more briefly. In the end, she had turned away from both choices for the same reason.
For her first challenge against another musician, she wanted a piece that was wholly hers, and there was only one person who could help her in that regard. Sixiang was, for all her flightiness superb at prodding her toward creativity without unduly influencing the result. When she wasn't in a teasing mood anyway. Sixiang had been quiet for weeks now though, barely responding to anything. It concerned her, even if she knew the source. Right now though, she needed the spirits help, and couldn't afford to continue giving her space. "Sixiang," she said aloud, turning her thoughts inward at the same time. "I need your help. Don't you think you've been quiet long enough?"
Ling Qi stared at the mist slowly seeping from the Argent Vent in silence as she waited for a response, eyes tracing the faint geometric shapes that formed and dissolved in the mist. As first seconds and then a minute ticked by, she began to worry, but then she felt a stirring of awareness in her thoughts.
"...Sorry, just busy. Can it wait a bit longer? I'll be done soon," the muses whispery voice whispered distractedly in her thoughts.
"I need to compose a piece within three days," Ling Qi replied dryly. "And… you know, it hurts a little, that you haven't even told me what your doing. We're friends aren't we?"
"...Sorry," Sixiang repeated, sounding dispirited. "I just… It'll be easier to show you. Why don't you go to sleep."
Ling Qi almost shot back an irritated quip, but caught the meaning before the words could leave her lips. "Alright, I suppose I'll see you soon," she replied. Speaking to Sixiang in her dreams was something she had suspected that she could do, but it had never come up.
Heading to her bedroom, Ling Qi was struck by the odd thought that it would be the first time she had slept in the bed provided. The handful of hours of sleep she had taken in the last two months had been snatched in the meditation room. It felt odd to lie down in an actual bed after so long. The pillow was soft, and the bedding perfect in balance between firmness and give. Yet, ultimately, Ling Qi barely noticed as she laid down after changing into nightclothes that she had not worn in months. For her there was no lying awake trying to fall asleep. It was merely an effort of will, cutting off the flow of qi that maintained her more mortal functions, and she felt her consciousness fade. She only hoped that Sixiang could guide her dreams.
A moment of blackness passed, and then Ling Qi opened her eyes to be assaulted by a riot of color. She sat up immediately, looking around in confusion at the thick sea of pillows, blankets and mats that she rested atop. Her hands sank deep into the soft fabric, and for a moment she floundered, almost sinking into the mountain of fluff and fabric. Her limbs felt heavy and clumsy, but she still managed to regain her balance after a moment.
"It's still kind of a mess isn't it?" Sixiang asked wryly, drawing her attention away from her resting place. Looking up, she had to squint to see through the glittering rainbow mist that seemed to shroud everything, but she could make out a few things. A meter or two in front of her the mass of pillows and cushions ended, and a sea of opaque blue-green 'water' began. It was a bit disturbing to look at, though it lapped and rippled realistically, the color was wrong, more like an illustration than reality. Sixiang sat on the shore, with their androgynous back to Ling Qi, their legs were bare and dangled lazily into the 'water'.
"What is this?" Ling Qi asked, managing to stand up after a few moments and begin picking her way across the treacherously soft 'ground'.
"Um, I guess you could say this kinda like my Domain?" Sixiang replied, not looking back at her. "Not bad for a first try, huh? I haven't gotten all the physical bits finished though. I wanted to wait a bit before I invited you in."
Ling Qi rolled those words around in her head, but put off the obvious question for now as she reached the 'shore' The footing was surer here, and she was able to find a cushion to sit on that didn't immediately sink or shift uncomfortably. "Sorry for pushing you. I need my muse though," Ling Qi replied lightly.
"Do you really?" Sixiang replied, finally looking her way. "I'm kinda thoughtless aren't I? All the good stuff comes from you."
Ling Qi remained quiet for a moment, observing Sixiang as they turned their face back to the mist shrouded sea. "...I don't blame you for that Dream. It's not like you could stand up to the whole Bloody Moon or...whatever that was."
"Maybe not, but I could have warned you that it was gonna be trouble. I guess I still didn't really get it."
"Get what exactly?" Ling Qi asked, giving the 'water' another dubious look. It looked vaguely like paint.
"Do you remember when we talked about death?" Sixiang asked absently.
Ling Qi nodded slowly. "That was a weird conversation."
"I didn't really understand how it was scary," Sixiang replied. "I guess its because of how I am, fairies, muses die and are born all the time, the way you humans figure things."
Ling Qi did not reply at first, trailing a finger through the water, it felt normal at least. "How old are you Sixiang?"
"How long ago was you're debut party?" Sixiang asked lightly, answering her question obliquely. "Or...it's hard to put it in way you'll get. I have memories way older than that, but 'Sixiang' isn't even a year old. I didn't understand how losing yourself would be scary, after all, all the bits that were you would end up part of something else, and that's fine."
"...You're right. I don't get it," Ling Qi replied slowly. "Why did that change though? ...Did the Bloody Moon threaten you or something?"
Sixiang grimaced. "No, I could… feel you hurting though, and that made me hurt. And if something happened to you, this dream would end, and I wouldn't get to tease you anymore, or listen to your songs or watch everyone fumble around trying to express themselves and…" Sixiang reached up, toying with a strand of their drifting misty hair as they babbled. "...I didn't want that. I'm not ready to wake up and rejoin grandmother yet," frustration and confusion bled into Sixiang's voice.
Was Sixiang's existence tied that closely to hers? Ling Qi was faintly disturbed by the thought. "I mean, that just makes sense, doesn't it?" Hesitating a moment, Ling Qi reached over and placed her hand on Sixiang's shoulder.
"Maybe to you. A dream is only supposed to exist in the moment. The past and the future are for other phases, you know?" Sixiang laughed.
"You're selling yourself short, what good is a muse that doesn't stick around?" Ling Qi jibed, hoping to lighten the mood.
"A muse is just a nudge. It's up to the artist to actually create something," Sixiang shot back, a grin finding its way back onto their features. "So I guess I should get nudging huh? What is it you want to compose?"
Ling Qi glanced away, considering, unsteadiness that still lurked in Sixiang's tone and voice. "We can still wait a bit, if you'd like. I can ask…"
"No, no, no, not gonna fail at the thing that's actually my job you know? Sixiang chided. "...There's some stuff I want to share, but I gotta stress test it first. Don't want to do damage by mistake, you know," she added more quietly.
Ling Qi gave the spirit a sidelong look, but shrugged, recognizing that it was the most she was going to get. "Alright then. Right now I need to compose a piece for my Sect challenge. We're going to compete over which composition has the stronger message, and I want something that will resonate well with my opponent and myself…"
Sixiang held up a hand to forestall her. "Hang on a sec, let me catch up, I haven't been paying attention," Ling Qi blinked as the spirit reached out and brushed her fingers across the opaque water. She saw the surface ripple, and glimpsed flashing images; the mountain path, her conversation with Cai renxiang, Yu Nuan's face and others as well.
"You can just do that?" Ling Qi asked, bewildered.
"Once I'm done you'll be able to as well, one more sec," Sixiang muttered distractedly. "Alright, I think I got a handle on her. Where are you stuck?"
"I'm just… not sure how much I buy my own words," Ling Qi replied, shaking off the questions for now. "I won't lie, a big part of it is because of that dream. I'm just… not sure of myself anymore. If I'm willing to step back on the first thing I decided I wouldn't do, can I really say I have any convictions at all?"
Sixiang idly kicked their bare legs, sending up splashes of paint-like water. "Is it really so bad to be uncertain? You're not a construct or an elemental you know. It's okay to have some give to your beliefs."
"That feels like an excuse," Ling Qi sighed.
"Hm, hm, I see where I imprinted those issues from," Sixiang said, her voice a little brittle. "But… you're gonna fail, and your gonna disappoint yourself. Nobody walks a path without stumbling."
"You sound like a book of koans," Ling Qi grumbled.
"I remember parts of writing plenty of those," Sixiang replied with a laugh. "But, the point is your human, and not far enough along to really have any pure convictions. Each experience is a brick laid in the foundation of who you are."
"Now you're doing it on purpose," Ling Qi rolled her eyes, but… she could see the spirits point. She wasn't sure she would ever see that dream as anything but a failure...but she couldn't wallow in that. She couldn't afford too...and as much as she felt a sliver of self loathing for it, she didn't want to. She had buckled to fear in the face of overwhelming power but… hadn't she stood with Meizhen when she was alone and ambushed? There had been other moments as well, one false step did not invalidate a path.
"I need a composition that focuses on what I want to do in the future don't I, what I think I can accomplish," Ling Qi finally said.
"Ha, see, I told you a muse was just a nudge," Sixiang replied lightly. "So, what do you want?"
And wasn't that a question, Ling Qi thought grumpily.
[] Compose a piece about the shadows of disorder and uncertainty, and how those ills might be vanquished
[] Compose a piece about loneliness and cold, and how they came to fade away
[] Compose a piece about fear and disquiet, and how they might be defeated
