Warhammer Fantasy: Divided Loyalties - an Advisor's Quest
- Thread starter Boney
- Start date
- Fantasy Users' Choice!
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- Tags
- warhammer warhammer fantasy fantasy be gay do crimes (gay) female protagonist pansexual protagonist ck2 quest divided loyalties mountain vietnam ranald is real this is a dwarf quest (dwarfs) this is maybe an elf quest this is not a vampire quest this is not an empire quest try it and find out open voting
Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
- Location
- Before the Ninth Gate
I love how you can't tell if Horstmann is for Chaos or Order in this as well, despite being the Narrator. Great writing!
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Zedman7054
Eternally 3rd
- Location
- United States
That is exactly what I was aiming for, and it was both surprisingly hard to write, especially at the end, but also quite fun.
- Location
- Australia
I think Panoramia is much of a fighter. I mean, she wasn't really anything but confident when she joined the Expedition and she killed a bunch of enemies while on it with her magic.
Zedman7054
Eternally 3rd
- Location
- United States
Do keep in mind that while that may be true, this is Johann talking. I tried to make it subtle, and maybe succeeded too well, but one of the themes I was working with for this omake was that people are fallible. They can be mistaken and wrong. It's most obvious in how Egrimm assumes Mathilde manipulated the Grandmaster of Taal's Fury to divert the two wings of knight's to aid the expedition and the rest of his assumptions, but it's also in how Max talks himself up, saying things that aren't wrong but not necessarily the whole truth to make himself sound better. Bias is a factor. Yes, we know that Panoramia is a strong wizard who helped fight a number of times through the Reclamation of K8P, but her contributions weren't always the most notable or noticeable, especially with the one time she literally hid herself away to cast subtle magic to help. Add in how after the initial phases of the reclamation finished she really didn't take on an active part in the fighting and it's an easy assumption on Johann's part to see Pan as someone who really didn't take to the martial aspects of wizardry and decided to focus on being...well a magic farmer.
NexusEye
Aspiring God
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I don't know if there's anything objectively wrong with this sentence but it flows weirdly to me with two "as"'s so close together with only one word between them. Maybe "and equally as interesting"?
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His.
Whoops, let me fix that. Thanks.
[X] Lead the Wizards, Knightly Orders, and Asarnil
Zedman7054
Eternally 3rd
- Location
- United States
I understand what you mean, but I'm going to stand by what I wrote. It looks odds and even sounds odd, but I don't really think it's that much of an issue. Both the intent and meaning is clear, and looking back at it, it's one of those little quirks of language that a person would make. It might not pass a strict grammar check, but one of my goals in writing is trying to make the characters feel real and somebody thinking a not totally grammatically correct sounding thought lines up with my intent, even if it was on accident.
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Aranfan
Team Plasma Grunt
It has probably been remarked on before. But I find it amusing that, for all Mathilde doesn't believe in Sigmar, Sigmar in all likelyhood believes in Mathilde.
All of the stuff she's gotten up to since she became an anti-sigmarite is stuff he would broadly approve of. Especially the part where she helped dawi.
All of the stuff she's gotten up to since she became an anti-sigmarite is stuff he would broadly approve of. Especially the part where she helped dawi.
fictionfan
Please sir, may I have some Meows?
- Location
- Tempe, AZ
I expect that most people think that we are an especially devote sigmarite.
Aranfan
Team Plasma Grunt
She has spent almost every waking moment since Abelhelm died acting steadfastly in defense of the Empire and the Dawi. Fighting tirelessly against undead, "beastmen", and greenskins.
Hell, Starke seems to think we're a sigmarite, which is amusing.
- Pronouns
- Human/Form/Keyblade
How do you think Mathilde would react if she was blessed by Sigmar like Freddy?
Given how iirc anything other than ulgu getting permanently attached to our soul would make dhar? Explosively.
- Pronouns
- Human/Form/Keyblade
first that was gazul.
second, I think she complains about the height increase and that it is now more difficult to sneak.
second, I think she complains about the height increase and that it is now more difficult to sneak.
NexusEye
Aspiring God
- Pronouns
- She/Her
If it were compatible with her soul's nature as a Wizard, I think she'd accept and use it, she hates Sigmar but she's also very practical, she's not going to spurn a useful tool because of it's origin unless it's tainted by dhar or Chaos. Biggest problem would be that it might be in conflict with our relationship with Ranald, he might be okay with it as a temporary thing during a crisis but we seem to be in an implicit monogamous spiritual relationship with him, he might disapprove if we start accepting other gods blessings.
Every magical mark, divine or arcane, is some change in the soul that may or may not physically represent itself, if I have my lore right.
fictionfan
Please sir, may I have some Meows?
- Location
- Tempe, AZ
Also consider that people with good mage sight can likely sense a touch of divine on us from the coin.
- Location
- US
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I'm a little late to respond to the flow of discussion, but I don't think 'being more involved in Imperial Poltics' and 'Serving King Belegar at K8P' are mutually exclusive. Belegar favors humans strongly for a dawi king. A lot of the redevelopment of his Karak will depend on good will from the Empire. Having Mathilde sit around the Karak sneaking in the tunnels is a waste for him; she has his trust and is a major figure in the Empire. Being a Lady Magister puts her in the top 100 imperial officials serving the emperor easily.
So he provides a stable base, wealth and manpower to build up her research, and she's his woman on the inside of the Empire. Furthermore, his interest aren't at cross purposes with the Empire to begin with, so these aren't a crippling divide of her loyalty.
So he provides a stable base, wealth and manpower to build up her research, and she's his woman on the inside of the Empire. Furthermore, his interest aren't at cross purposes with the Empire to begin with, so these aren't a crippling divide of her loyalty.
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Besides. "Divided Loyalties" is right there in the quest name.
- Location
- Earth
@Zedman7054 I greatly enjoyed your omake's concept! Uncertainty, ambiguity and double-meanings are very fun to play around with. That said, I have compiled a list of potential corrections/suggestions (in red and yellow) that may improve the grammar and/or flow. Feel free to use or ignore them as you please.
Eminent means something respected and well known. While it is valid to use eminent there, you may have meant to use imminent, which is something about to happen or close at hand.
Plural 's' doesn't need apostrophes. "Knights" or "the Knights" both work.
"However" joins two separate clauses, so there should be commas before and after it. I'm not 100% on this one, but it feels odd not to have the pauses there.
"Glares" is plural but "is" is singular. Since they're linked, they should be both one or the other. You can use "Gone are the constant suspicious glares" for plural or "Gone is the constant suspicious glaring/gaze" for singular.
Probably fine? You seem to be using "chat" and "interrogate" as nouns(since they are the subject of the sentence) instead of verbs, so the participle form may be better here. E.g "chatting" and "interrogating"
Two ms in "clammed."
Inn should be uncapitalized unless it's part of the inn's name. Mathilde has an h.
Zedman7054
Eternally 3rd
- Location
- United States
Aha! I already beat you to that one!
I...want to say I'm not using it for that purpose, and that this is another way to use it, but I don't know how to put it into words.
That's annoying, the one place I messed that up.
Everything else has been looked at and edited to my whims. Thank you for advice.
