Remove ads

Transposition, or: Ship Happens [Worm/Aoki Hagane no Arpeggio | Arpeggio of Blue Steel]

Reader mode
ensou said:
~Snip!

"Taylor, we have a problem."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

HatsuZ said:
Whatever it is, I'm sure that Armsmaster is in the thick of it.

Or maybe Leviathan. What month is it now?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

OMAKE: TOO {CENSORED} EARLY!

"You have to see for yourself."

[Somewhere Else A Little Later]

The submarine continued on it's heading, unknowing of it's fated destiny-

'Dun, dundundun, du-du-u-u-u-u-UN!'

-to fight the dreaded rubber ducky!

"So, as you can clearly see, Leviathan is currently inside a huge bathtub which is located next to your shipyard and playing with a model of your ship-body and a giant rubber ducky."

'Pew-pew, pewpewpew. Qua-a-a-aCK! *Spray!*'

"A~and the spitting rubber ducky appears to be winning!"

".......Where in the hell did Leviathan find a bathtub that big?"

"Simurgh came down briefly to build it. She looked really embarrassed about it too, Leviathan must have some great blackmail on her."

".......Sure! Why not?! Dumbest dream yet!" With that little outburst Taylor transformed into her cape persona and stomped down towards the Endbringer who she just now noticed was wearing a shower cap.

[That Morning Afternoon]

Taylor watched the television in a daze as the news anchor repeated the story that all the news channels were repeating endlessly. Which happened to be footage of her cape persona angrily stomping up to a increasingly nervous looking Leviathan whereupon she positively flayed him (verbally) for his shenanigans at 3-ungodly-clock that morning until the ashamed Endbringer (now clad in a fluffy robe) had slunk off with it's bath toys towards the ocean with all due haste to escape the angry verbose teen.

Taylor:o:oops::confused:: "THAT REALLY HAPPENED?!"

:p
 
Last edited:
I always hoped that some variation of the Missouri scene from World in Conflict, only with an endbringer or Noelle, would end up happening.

Didn't think it would be this quick though.
 
Dutch said:
I always hoped that some variation of the Missouri scene from World in Conflict, only with an endbringer or Noelle, would end up happening.

Didn't think it would be this quick though.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Well Kongou's use of Flagship equipment let her assemble Ise's hull in about 25 minutes. Smaller things like scout submarines were done in 9 minutes. Sure it required her to become defenseless open her hull completely and remove her SGC to equip it but the fact she was able to rather quickly shift her fleet there is insanity.
 
ensou said:
I spent two weeks alone debating over whether I should end it there, and if that was how I should end it. Mostly because it's a plot development I wasn't originally planning on, but is both in-character and supported by canon (as in, it's something that would have happened in canon had certain circumstances played out, as stated by one of the characters themselves), and because I know cliffhangers can be infuriating if overused.

Unfortunately, it works really well here and is appropriate, and it's not like what happened isn't going to be explained within the first two paragraphs of the next chapter.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I really hate to say it since I really like most of your stories but that is the most pointlessly infuriating cliffhanger I've seen in months.

It's cheap sequelhooking at it's most egregious. It brings nothing to the story and is a horrific place to end a chapter besides. Cliffhangers are never appropriate, just degrees of bad.

If it was so easy to resolve then you should have done so. Or ended it before Leah burst in.
 
Alright, less comedy more analysis.

What is the problem Leah needed to tell Taylor about? We can rule a few things out immediately: it's not a problem at the yard or Relentless' ship body, because that would've been Taylor waking up with all her security systems screaming bloody murder. It's immediate enough to get Leah at the door at three in the morning, but the lack of action signifiers in the cliffhanger means it's probably not somebody's-about-to-blow-down-the-front-door immediate. With that in mind we can determine that whatever's going on it's something Leah discovered independently and it's something she thinks Taylor needs to know about right now. I'm going to rule out Endbringers for the moment because a) I don't think the timeline's quite right for that yet and b) while I'd honestly rather never see the narrative cancer that is the Endbringers in this story, they should only show up when Relentless is ready to paste 'em with a gravity cannon and we're still at least a week or two out story-wise for that.

I'm thinking that the logical external "problem" is that somebody is staking out the house. Not sure who (Coil or PRT, could be either. Comedy option is Shadow Stalker.) but somebody's got suspicions about the Heberts and their houseguest and their connection to Relentless and/or the Case of the Missing Shipwrecks, Leah spotted the stakeout and we get here. That's one possibility; there's also the possibility that there's some kind of internal problem. Danny was oddly distant this chapter, wasn't he? Compared to where he was previously, at least. Maybe there's something going on there; obvious drama hook is obvious of course but it's within the acceptable band of characterization.

Anybody else got a non-joke thought on the subject?
 
ChaoticSky said:
I really hate to say it since I really like most of your stories but that is the most pointlessly infuriating cliffhanger I've seen in months.

It's cheap sequelhooking at it's most egregious. It brings nothing to the story and is a horrific place to end a chapter besides. Cliffhangers are never appropriate, just degrees of bad.

If it was so easy to resolve then you should have done so. Or ended it before Leah burst in.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

... and anyone who first read the story after the next chapter comes out, will not have a cliffhanger? Clearly the literary technique of ending a chapter in a certain state is capable of being valid; the only issue here is that it is being written and read as a serial.

Acknowledging that cliffhangers are infuriating, I'm still willing to accept "I the author state that the story itself will be enhanced by this pacing", while taking the long view on what comes next. Although I would like to demand that the next chapter come out soon. :D
 
Mal-3 said:
Alright, less comedy more analysis.

What is the problem Leah needed to tell Taylor about? We can rule a few things out immediately: it's not a problem at the yard or Relentless' ship body, because that would've been Taylor waking up with all her security systems screaming bloody murder. It's immediate enough to get Leah at the door at three in the morning, but the lack of action signifiers in the cliffhanger means it's probably not somebody's-about-to-blow-down-the-front-door immediate. With that in mind we can determine that whatever's going on it's something Leah discovered independently and it's something she thinks Taylor needs to know about right now. I'm going to rule out Endbringers for the moment because a) I don't think the timeline's quite right for that yet and b) while I'd honestly rather never see the narrative cancer that is the Endbringers in this story, they should only show up when Relentless is ready to paste 'em with a gravity cannon and we're still at least a week or two out story-wise for that.

I'm thinking that the logical external "problem" is that somebody is staking out the house. Not sure who (Coil or PRT, could be either. Comedy option is Shadow Stalker.) but somebody's got suspicions about the Heberts and their houseguest and their connection to Relentless and/or the Case of the Missing Shipwrecks, Leah spotted the stakeout and we get here. That's one possibility; there's also the possibility that there's some kind of internal problem. Danny was oddly distant this chapter, wasn't he? Compared to where he was previously, at least. Maybe there's something going on there; obvious drama hook is obvious of course but it's within the acceptable band of characterization.

Anybody else got a non-joke thought on the subject?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Why does it have to be something directly related to Taylor? Could be something big going on in the city involving one of the other gangs. Maybe the ABB are going on the offensive, maybe the Empire had their ID's leaked, maybe Armsmaster got super drunk and punched out a reporter on live tv.
 
Well guys, do remember that Leah was starting to connect the dots once she started going on PHO, it was a chapter or two ago I think? The 'Problem' may well be that she finally put together enough to prove the existence of Cauldron, or about the Endbringers sandbagging. Both of those would be urgent enough that someone might react with 'who cares the time we need to talk'.
 
Mal-3 said:
Alright, less comedy more analysis.

What is the problem Leah needed to tell Taylor about? We can rule a few things out immediately: it's not a problem at the yard or Relentless' ship body, because that would've been Taylor waking up with all her security systems screaming bloody murder. It's immediate enough to get Leah at the door at three in the morning, but the lack of action signifiers in the cliffhanger means it's probably not somebody's-about-to-blow-down-the-front-door immediate. With that in mind we can determine that whatever's going on it's something Leah discovered independently and it's something she thinks Taylor needs to know about right now. I'm going to rule out Endbringers for the moment because a) I don't think the timeline's quite right for that yet and b) while I'd honestly rather never see the narrative cancer that is the Endbringers in this story, they should only show up when Relentless is ready to paste 'em with a gravity cannon and we're still at least a week or two out story-wise for that.

I'm thinking that the logical external "problem" is that somebody is staking out the house. Not sure who (Coil or PRT, could be either. Comedy option is Shadow Stalker.) but somebody's got suspicions about the Heberts and their houseguest and their connection to Relentless and/or the Case of the Missing Shipwrecks, Leah spotted the stakeout and we get here. That's one possibility; there's also the possibility that there's some kind of internal problem. Danny was oddly distant this chapter, wasn't he? Compared to where he was previously, at least. Maybe there's something going on there; obvious drama hook is obvious of course but it's within the acceptable band of characterization.

Anybody else got a non-joke thought on the subject?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Well... An Endbringer attack would mean the use of the sirens, wouldn't it? Given that she doesn't hear them it shouldn't be that. Or at least not locally.

As for interpersonal drama... The middle of the night would be a weird time for it.
 
Mal-3 said:
Alright, less comedy more analysis.

What is the problem Leah needed to tell Taylor about? We can rule a few things out immediately: it's not a problem at the yard or Relentless' ship body, because that would've been Taylor waking up with all her security systems screaming bloody murder. It's immediate enough to get Leah at the door at three in the morning, but the lack of action signifiers in the cliffhanger means it's probably not somebody's-about-to-blow-down-the-front-door immediate. With that in mind we can determine that whatever's going on it's something Leah discovered independently and it's something she thinks Taylor needs to know about right now. I'm going to rule out Endbringers for the moment because a) I don't think the timeline's quite right for that yet and b) while I'd honestly rather never see the narrative cancer that is the Endbringers in this story, they should only show up when Relentless is ready to paste 'em with a gravity cannon and we're still at least a week or two out story-wise for that.

I'm thinking that the logical external "problem" is that somebody is staking out the house. Not sure who (Coil or PRT, could be either. Comedy option is Shadow Stalker.) but somebody's got suspicions about the Heberts and their houseguest and their connection to Relentless and/or the Case of the Missing Shipwrecks, Leah spotted the stakeout and we get here. That's one possibility; there's also the possibility that there's some kind of internal problem. Danny was oddly distant this chapter, wasn't he? Compared to where he was previously, at least. Maybe there's something going on there; obvious drama hook is obvious of course but it's within the acceptable band of characterization.

Anybody else got a non-joke thought on the subject?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Perhaps the disappearance of the Boat Graveyard has stirred up more of a hornets nest then Taylor and Leah thought it would? In the very worst case someone high up in DC might have guessed that nanotech or something like nanotech is involved and is now talking about sterilizing the entire area with tinkertech nuclear fire.....after a quarantine is enacted.

Another possibility is that some unstable person (*Cough!*Bakuda!*Cough!*) has stepped up to claim responsibility for the Boat Graveyards disappearance and is threatening to do the same to populated buildings/cities if their demands aren't met.

Coil somehow found out Taylor was behind all that and in his panic (after several eaten by nanotech failed timelines) revealed her identity alongside the evidence of what she did.

Considering Taylors advanced technology and her potential once she gets going the Simurgh might've decided to make a surprise visit. Then again the Endbringer alarms weren't going off so that might safely be ruled out.

If the authorities are panicking behind the scenes then it's possible that Danny and the D.W.U. are being charged with the Boat Graveyards destruction.
 
Last edited:
serra2 said:
Why does it have to be something directly related to Taylor? Could be something big going on in the city involving one of the other gangs. Maybe the ABB are going on the offensive, maybe the Empire had their ID's leaked, maybe Armsmaster got super drunk and punched out a reporter on live tv.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Because it's Taylor's story, so it's got to swing back to her at some point? I know that's a weak-ass answer but it's the only one I've really got. :oops:

FullNothingness said:
As for interpersonal drama... The middle of the night would be a weird time for it.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Well, the obvious interpersonal drama hook is "your dad spent most of the day negotiating with the Protectorate behind our backs, so if you don't want to be part of the Wards we've gotta be gone before sunrise." It's within tolerances character-wise but I don't know if it fits properly within the framework of the story-as-told.
 
Mantech1 said:
Perhaps the disappearance of the Boat Graveyard has stirred up more of a hornets nest then Taylor and Leah thought it would? In the very worst case someone high up in DC might have guessed that nanotech or something like nanotech is involved and is now talking about sterilizing the entire area with tinkertech nuclear fire.....after a quarantine is enacted.

Another possibility is that some unstable person (*Cough!*Bakuda!*Cough!*) has stepped up to claim responsibility for the Boat Graveyards disappearance and is threatening to do the same to populated buildings/cities if their demands aren't met.

Coil somehow found out Taylor was behind all that and in his panic (after several eaten by nanotech failed timelines) revealed her identity alongside the evidence of what she did.

Considering Taylors advanced technology and her potential once she gets going the Simurgh might've decided to make a surprise visit. Then again the Endbringer alarms weren't going off so that might safely be ruled out.

If the authorities are panicking behind the scenes then it's possible that Danny and the D.W.U. are being charged with the Boat Graveyards destruction.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Bakuda has already been captured and none of the others are likely in my opinion, with Coil being the only one that's vaguely plausible.

I think the likely contenders are Coil releasing the Empire identities, Leah having figured some of the important behind-the-scenes stuff out, or Leah having a personal problem of some sort.
 
Mantech1 said:
*Shrugs*

Neither do I but in that setting who knows what a politician in full ass-covering mode might do when panicked and looking for any possible scapegoats to pin/blame their problems on.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

It's kinda hard to blame dockworkers that cleared a boat graveyard overnight without making noise or alerting anyone to the fact that they are doing it. Not even the most scummiest politician can swing that without being made into a laughing stock. Especially when there's an in universe scapegoat already primed.

A cape did it, that's all they need to say and people will go well, yeah duh.
 
ensou said:
"Diamond and carbon nanotubes and a material casing that's stronger than it should be by existing in more than three dimensions.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I get the feeling this is the start of 'Leah' figuring out Shards... (The VERY start.)
ensou said:
Now could you please say something? I feel like I've been talking to a brick wall.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I feel the two clauses should be seperated - if not by a question mark, then by a comma...
ensou said:
Or, enough of one that a rating for it wouldn't be out of the question.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
LOL
Which is exactly why everyone thinks Dragon is a Tinker!
(Her specialty is understanding Tinkertech... which leads to the biggest Irony of her situation - the best individual to remove Dragon's restrictions is Dragon herself. Which she can't do due to those same restrictions.)
ensou said:
That feeling was gone when Leah woke me at three in the morning, her face grim as she stood in the door.

"Taylor, we have a problem."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Did she realize something about Shards?

Also, I wonder what effect Taylor's processor has on Ziz Precog...


I can't wait to see Taylor interacting with Dragon - they're going to, ideally, fit well together.
After all, Dragon is an AI who is working making herself human - while Taylor is somewhat coming from the opposite side of the spectrum...
(I can't get out exactly what I mean, this is my best stab at it)




GREAT to see this updated!
( @ensou - on another note, I highly suggest putting a link to your snippet thread in your sig)...
 
Last edited:
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top