- Location
- Internet, The
@yrsillar, I got back into this story again and started reading the Royal Road version. Since that is more of a final version, I thought you might not mind someone pointing out spelling mistakes and such. Might make it easier on the eyes for future readers, even if correcting them is tedious.
I'm only at Chapter 73, and I only really started writing them down around chapter 30, but here is what I have so far:
I'm only at Chapter 73, and I only really started writing them down around chapter 30, but here is what I have so far:
Bonus 5: The Great Sects
Capitalization of s/Sects is inconsistent.
> the fruits of which went were delivered the sects ruling clan.
"went to the" or "were delivered to the"; "sect's"
>the practice of allowing sects spread throughout the empire
"to spread"
>under the prince's superlative leadership, and the core of strength arising from the Sect's the barbarians were defeated
"the Sects, the"
> the Great Sect's were born
Sects
>to enroll their second sons and daughters in the sects programs
"sects'"
>multiplied the Sects funding many times
"Sects'"
Bonus 6
> Ones immediate retainers and maids were often the ones a noble was closest with after all.
One's
Chapter 31
>The three of you found one of the mountains vents?
mountain's / mountains'
Chapter 32
> congested her entire life and could only now breath freely as her Argent Foundation expanded from bone to organ
breathe
Chapter 34
>and the the metallic clangs as Hong Lin struck him a half dozen times
remove "the"
Bonus 7
>And If you can't manage, than you keep your head down and stay outta sight, you hear?"
then
Chapter 38
>Avoiding another thunderous strike from her own opponent. Ling Qi played first dissonant note of the new verse, the shadows grew darker and hungry eyes appeared in the mist.
"opponent, Ling Qi"; "the first"; "verse. The shadows"
Chapter 41
>he stepped over Cui's emerald coils andoffered Bai Meizhen her hand
"and offered"
Chapter 44
>Ling Qi picked up on the unspoken threat of what would happen if the two girls they evicted didn't take the payment and clear out though.
"out, though."
Chapter 48
> the trick to weaving the the first two melodies together
"weaving the first"
Bonus 9
>In order to refine the body and spirit, or practice arts and techniques requires additional infusions of external qi.
Grammar issue: Either "Refining etc requires" or "In order to refine … it is required/one needs/etc"
>trading away some portion of their humanity identity to catalyze their internal energies
"humanity", "identiy" or "human identity"?
Chapter 53
>Ling Qi squinted at the white hot characters her friend was pointing too.
"pointing to"
Chapter 54
>study them beyond a few basic alarm and spirit wards for home.
"my home", probably?
>not pointing out the number of times she had overbalanced and fell over while learning to swing around the heavy guandao
"and fallen"
Chapter 60
>We're already doing pretty good, aren't we?
suggestion: "pretty well"
Chapter 63
>shards tore right through her spinning winds, slicing across her limbs and in one case, embedding itself in her shoulder
themselves
>a dozen meters away.Ling Qi felt
"away. Ling"
Chapter 66
>I was simply searching for my friend ,Gu Xiulan, and
"friend, Gu"
> Ling Qi felt something like pressure pressing down on her
Recommendation: "pressure weighting down"
Bonus 11
>It is agreed among scholars that that by the time of Longshen's rebellion, the Ao family already in its terminal decline.
"family was already"
>Patriarch Lu Guanxi chose to awaken his clans ancestor
clan's
> the desperate efforts of the empires formations masters to contain
empire's
Chapter 69
>. is unseen feet struck the ground
"His unseen"
>If Ling Qicould land another shot as well
"Qi could"
Chapter 70
>the boy's father, a man grown and the owner of the lumber yard,
"a grown man"
Chapter 72
> Ling Qi returned to meditation.Under the effects
spacing
Capitalization of s/Sects is inconsistent.
> the fruits of which went were delivered the sects ruling clan.
"went to the" or "were delivered to the"; "sect's"
>the practice of allowing sects spread throughout the empire
"to spread"
>under the prince's superlative leadership, and the core of strength arising from the Sect's the barbarians were defeated
"the Sects, the"
> the Great Sect's were born
Sects
>to enroll their second sons and daughters in the sects programs
"sects'"
>multiplied the Sects funding many times
"Sects'"
Bonus 6
> Ones immediate retainers and maids were often the ones a noble was closest with after all.
One's
Chapter 31
>The three of you found one of the mountains vents?
mountain's / mountains'
Chapter 32
> congested her entire life and could only now breath freely as her Argent Foundation expanded from bone to organ
breathe
Chapter 34
>and the the metallic clangs as Hong Lin struck him a half dozen times
remove "the"
Bonus 7
>And If you can't manage, than you keep your head down and stay outta sight, you hear?"
then
Chapter 38
>Avoiding another thunderous strike from her own opponent. Ling Qi played first dissonant note of the new verse, the shadows grew darker and hungry eyes appeared in the mist.
"opponent, Ling Qi"; "the first"; "verse. The shadows"
Chapter 41
>he stepped over Cui's emerald coils andoffered Bai Meizhen her hand
"and offered"
Chapter 44
>Ling Qi picked up on the unspoken threat of what would happen if the two girls they evicted didn't take the payment and clear out though.
"out, though."
Chapter 48
> the trick to weaving the the first two melodies together
"weaving the first"
Bonus 9
>In order to refine the body and spirit, or practice arts and techniques requires additional infusions of external qi.
Grammar issue: Either "Refining etc requires" or "In order to refine … it is required/one needs/etc"
>trading away some portion of their humanity identity to catalyze their internal energies
"humanity", "identiy" or "human identity"?
Chapter 53
>Ling Qi squinted at the white hot characters her friend was pointing too.
"pointing to"
Chapter 54
>study them beyond a few basic alarm and spirit wards for home.
"my home", probably?
>not pointing out the number of times she had overbalanced and fell over while learning to swing around the heavy guandao
"and fallen"
Chapter 60
>We're already doing pretty good, aren't we?
suggestion: "pretty well"
Chapter 63
>shards tore right through her spinning winds, slicing across her limbs and in one case, embedding itself in her shoulder
themselves
>a dozen meters away.Ling Qi felt
"away. Ling"
Chapter 66
>I was simply searching for my friend ,Gu Xiulan, and
"friend, Gu"
> Ling Qi felt something like pressure pressing down on her
Recommendation: "pressure weighting down"
Bonus 11
>It is agreed among scholars that that by the time of Longshen's rebellion, the Ao family already in its terminal decline.
"family was already"
>Patriarch Lu Guanxi chose to awaken his clans ancestor
clan's
> the desperate efforts of the empires formations masters to contain
empire's
Chapter 69
>. is unseen feet struck the ground
"His unseen"
>If Ling Qicould land another shot as well
"Qi could"
Chapter 70
>the boy's father, a man grown and the owner of the lumber yard,
"a grown man"
Chapter 72
> Ling Qi returned to meditation.Under the effects
spacing
