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That Time I Became A Dictator Of A Small Asian Communist Nation

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[X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
-[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
-[X] get a field hopstial and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
-[X] set up an impromptu imigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
 
Ramble said:
[X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
-[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
-[X] get a field hopstial and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
-[X] set up an impromptu imigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
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This is going to become a bit, isn't it?
 
HeroCooky said:
This is going to become a bit, isn't it?
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I don't know what you're talking about.

Though if an short army of street vendors, barbers, pop up bars, and other assorted entrepreneurs decide to set up nearby to bilk the 2600 stranded Americans with pockets full of dollars and zero financial management training than that's just business isn't it?
 
Ramble said:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Though if an short army of street vendors, barbers, pop up bars, and other assorted entrepreneurs decide to set up nearby to bilk the 2600 stranded Americans with pockets full of dollars and zero financial management training than that's just business isn't it?
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Cyberphilosipher said:
Buissnessmen of the Nation: Can we...do this Capitalism thing while they are here?
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Even communist nations understood the art of fleecing tourists.
 
[X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
-[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
-[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
-[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
 
HeroCooky said:
It was nearly three in the morning, and Jungmin was doing all he could to chuck coffee in an attempt to stay awake for just one more hour to complete the paperwork required for the expansion of the navy. He knew that the crunch he was subjecting himself to wasn't healthy, but the stress of having to work in overdrive to complete the plan, coordinate all resources, wrangle the politicians in order, and prank the scientists bombarding him with proposals instead of going the official way, was a small price in comparison to the workers currently working double-shifts in construction and the naval yards. Taking another sip of his triple-strength coffee, he makes a note to his awake self to double their bonuses for the work they are doing, as well as the rations allocated to their families in thanks for their voluntary sacrifice.

"Fuck," he spoke, running a hand over his face, a wave of tiredness crashing into him with the might of an angry capitalist denied their exploitation. Once more, he looked at the papers before him, though his eyes could barely focus on the words for more than a few seconds, his hand barely able to write his signature to approve the spending for... something. "I need to sleep," he concluded and stood, the action giving him just enough wakefulness to appreciate the protest of his lower half.

This was not due to him sitting down too much, mind, but from another source. A small smile of satisfaction crept onto his face as Jungmin remembered why he was currently walking rather funny, though it was interwoven with warmth and deep love. Mai had already been rather miffed at all the exercise she had missed when she got pregnant with twins, so him knocking her up with triplets didn't exactly make her very appreciative of his face. Well, 'outside of bedroom situations, that is,' Jungmin thought, a dirty chuckle escaping him as he slowly cleaned his desk, already yearning to crawl into bed next to his wife. 'I should take a day off, maybe tomorrow,' his thoughts continued, a small plan forming within his mind to further assuage Mai's frustrations. The maid dress he had recently gotten had received more than a few hidden glances from her. Though he was sure that he wouldn't be able to walk straight for a week after she was finished with hi-

"SIR!" One of his bodyguards yelled, literally kicking the door to Jungmins office open. "WE'VE GOT A FUCKING SITUATION!" He continued to shout, not minding the pistol squarely aimed at his chest, a fully awake and alert Jungmin looking at him with ice-cold eyes, wondering what reason was dire enough for the guards to kick his door in. Barely even a fraction of a second later, said guard provided the reason. "TSUNAMI!"

"Ah," Jungmin spoke, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "Well, shit."
The people of Guangchou weren't strangers to natural disasters, having had to endure several tsunamis within a single lifetime and one bombing campaign that put all others to shame. Yet, despite what most people would assume, the news of one of the titanic disasters slowly but inevitably advancing onto their island did not spark panic. There were no rushed attempts to run for their lives; nobody rioted or smashed anything apart to loot valuables in the general confusion or something of the nature.

Instead, the people woke up to the sound of a siren, blearily blinking into the night as they listened to the signal. Three minutes later, people emerged from their houses, small pouches on their backs, with some carrying their parents, grandparents, children, or infirm relatives or neighbors. Then, slowly, each city on the coast and village in the lowlands began to gather the people up at predetermined spots, army trucks and general civilian vehicles commandeered from both factories and logistic duty carrying the people out of the city onto higher ground. But, of course, there couldn't be enough space for most people, even with the advanced warning given to Guangchou by their Vietnamese allies. So those young and healthy enough made their way to higher ground if they were lucky enough to live in an area that allowed them to do so. The rest filed into rows and entered the bunkers, long-since abandoned but still maintained, complexes that had once shielded almost all of the Ghuanchou people when the IJAAS bombed them day and night.

These structures had been re-designed after the war to house as many people as possible in the event of a tsunami, with several multi-ton gates hermetically sealable to keep the water out and air inside. Their entrances were constructed so that the water would both flow around them and not submerge the structures for longer than needed and had already served with distinction in 1946 and 1960.

Factories shut down, and volunteers ran through streets for the last minutes to see if anyone had been left behind. Power stations were decoupled as emergency services in the highland, and the entire military was placed on high alert to begin rescue and recovery efforts the second the waters receded. The nation braced itself for another reminder that, for all its achievements and scientific advancements, humanity was still nothing compared to the awesome powers of nature.

And then the waters came.

Over twelve meters high, the sea rolled into the island, one continuous mass of water carving its mark onto the island once more, contemptuously smashing apart buildings and construction with little effort. Its power was undeniable, its fury all-encompassing.

And like all tsunamis, it received.

The water returned, the damage became visible, and those on the highland kept watch for any other waves.

None came, even after several hours, and select locations slowly opened up to see the damage and report the needed efforts to keep them supplied until the all-clear could be given in two days for all shelters.

The Shi-Ching Shelter did not report back the damage around them.

Instead, the commander of the Shelter demanded to be connected to the Great Leader ASAP, saying that the safety of the entire nation was at stake.
Jungmin was having a not-good day and a personal crisis as he stared out at the capital on his balcony, his mind racing through the information he had received. Not only was he tired beyond belief, but he also had had to oversee the recovery of the nation from a natural disaster. Thankfully, his father, and he, had never put anything meaningful into the lowlands beyond resource extraction operations like mines or farms. So, at the very least, the nation's industry could recover immediately once the people emerged and the damages were repaired in the ports.

However, his situation had gone from natural disaster-bad to World War Three Incident-Bad with a single phone call. Mainly because, due to the tsunami, there was an American Aircraft Carrier Beached A Hundred Meters Into The Island.

Fuck, he just wanted to sleep and have sex in a maid costume; why did the universe do that to him? And could the day get even worse?

Then a goose flying over him shat on his head.
Fuck. What do?

[] (Wat Do?)
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Cyberphilosipher said:
Birds Watching…​

The Crewman of the SR-71 Blackbird out of one of America's many Airbase looked at their charts one last time as they planned a small detour on the return trip.

Now it wasn't exactly a difficult thing to actually do, the flight over Vietnam and Cambodia was planned well in advance of any of their commanders orders and it was well known that spying on other nations from 30,000 feet was a viable and useful use of time and resources.

After all, no one was gonna catch them even if they tried.

"Hey Bruce? We got enough Fuel for a little sightseeing in Guangchou, I always wanted to see their little light shows." Capt Alan Cirino asked his RSO, Capt Bruce Liebman.

"I don't know Alan…we're gonna have to run the paperwork with the guys on the Ground for this on ePlus aren't we pushing our luck after flying over the Warsaw Pact a few weeks ago?" He said.

"I know but I think a Few photos to see what's up is in order." You said.

"Al I get it? Its a nice remote paradice that happens to be run by Commies, just like the Norks in North Korea or the Gooks in China?" Bruce said.

"I'm all for beaches and oceanfront property…Command, I know it's a bit sudden, but requesting permission to fly overGuangchou for recon." You asked.

"Running request by Base Comm…we have something of a situation you might be qualified to handle 71' we'll run it by your bosses…welcome to our neck of the Woods." The Operator said

"Well, guess we get that beach photo after all…send traffic Yokota?" Bruce said.

"We have reports of a Missing US Aircraft Carrier that went missing in the Guangchou area, and we want to confirm their status." He said.

"Roger that, we'll find them? Anything else to Order?" You said.

"U2 spy planes have been seeing some odd activity in the Guangchou jungles and Mountains, give them a whirl around if you get the chance." He asked.

"Wait…How do you lose an aircraft carrier?" You said.

"Its the Iwo Jima, and while the circumstances are troubling in what she's doing far from her post, we lack the information to make a concrete guess." The Operator said.

So this was a blind op…Neat. "How low should we go?"

"Scare the shit out of them…and remind them they can't touch you." The Op said.

"Bruce…BRUCE…We're gonna be going low in the next few hours." You said.

"HELL YEAH! Let's scare the shit out of them."

----------------------------------------------------

Captain Bai Han, was on guard duty over one of Guangchou's small military command bases over the west side of the island, it was primarily a shelter that watched the sea's for…unwanted visitors and disasters.

All he could hear now was the buzz of the night and a loud booming sound.

He couldn't place it? Was it a test for the Tiger Lady? Or whatever they were calling it these days.

The Booming sound was getting louder, and the coming dawn was not yet bright enough to-.

Alright they were CLEARLY doing an aerial test without sending you the Memo.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT WAS GOOD !! Can't they SHUT THE HELL!-

You saw it..flying low beneath the cloud cover was a black speeding monster, moving faster than a missile.

A Missile of Precision and Human control.

"Rồng đen" You said remembering the words spoken by your fellow soldiers in Vietnam. "The Black Dragon"…what the Americans called a Blackbird.

She was moving fast as the Ensuring BOOM of the speed of its passing came and shook the base, the glass cracked as the shaking of your desk failed to cease.

You saw it…flying low…you could SEE the cockpit…see the little helmets of the pilots passed the tinted glass.

You had to smile at their courage…flying this low for their photographs.

The Americans are truly insane.

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"HOLY SHIT BRUCE I ALMOST CLIPPED THAT BUILDING!!" Alan said. " Did you get the Photos!"

"Yeah, can we go home now?"He said.

"No, we haven't found Iwo Jima yet?!" You said. "Raising altitude to cruising and a little below the cloud cover. Let's not push our luck."

"Oh alright, we're gonna make another pass over the island," Bruce said.

"SR-71 Making another pass." You said.

-----------------------------------

Captain Hiro looked to the Sky within the Iron Tiger and wondered quietly if he could actually hit something with what he had.

The Hot Seat was getting uncomfortable.

He looked and waited as something cried out from the Radio on an open channel.

"Smile for the Camera."

-------------------------------------------

"Bruce, I see it in the What the…opening all frequencies." You were going crazy...that couldn't be right?

"SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!" Bruce said as the Camera took photos by the dozen.

"I think we scared the shit out of them this time. Did you see that walking statue?" You said.

"I don't think it's a statue? I think it's a new kind of turret?" He said.

"It looks kinda ridiculous." You said.

"USS Iwo Jima.This is SR-71 Blackbird…Send Traffic." Bruce said.

"No response?" He said. "What the Fuc-"

It was there alright...beached on the Island...Shit

You didn't have time to process this as the Photos were taken.

"Are they any good?" You asked.

"I don't know...they came up blurry? Has that happened before?" Bruce said.

"Equipment failure at a time like this...what else can go wrong?" You said.

"We got boogies deploying, Six on our Six." He said.

"They can't catch us…We're 30,000 and Climbing…" You said before pulling up into the cloud cover. And then making a turn.

--------------------------------------------

"We lost them, they just banked up?!"

"Keep on Patrol they can't have gotten-"

-----------------------------

"Hey! LOOK UP!" You shouted over the Open Channel.

Then you Flew past Mach 3 flying over the Six Boogies in a somewhat taunting manner.

"YEEHAW!!" You felt the power of the Machine push you away from the airspace at speed.

Was it Childish to use one of the Most expensive pieces of Machinery the US had ever designed to mock them?

Yes yes, it was?

DId it get you what you came for? Absolutely.

---------------------------------------------

"They Reached our airspace…took photos of our prototype equipment and made a mockery of our airforce." The Officer said to the Pilots.

"Yes…we couldn't have caught them even if we tried."

The Captain wasn't even mad…he was just impressed that they reacted so quickly.

"There will be an investigation into this…but for now, we are impressed with how quickly you reacted."

---------------------------------------------------------

"Bruce." You said.

"Yeah Alan?" He said.

"They will never let us do this again?" You said.

"Can't argue with the results….can we?" He said.

"That we cannot, that we cannot." You said.

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Notes: It is realistic that The US Forces in the Pacific would Ask for an SR-71 to find their misplaced carrier and I took it to an extreme.

Now would they have gone as low as they did? Likely not, but it would have depended on the weather conditions that day.

Capt Alan Cirino and RSO, Capt Bruce Liebman are both a real SR-71 Crew that Flew in 1974…and likely would have been used in this situation.

Edit: And because of the Weather? Yeah…they would have flown low.

Also

@HeroCooky I'll just leave this here
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Fly, Blackbird, fly! You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Also, I say we leave sightings of "Giants" roaming along the coastline at night for the Americans to find. Then when they bring it up, we mock 'em for their silliness!

:V:V:V
 
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How about we set them up with state credit. We will cover all expenses during their impromptu stay and then bill their government afterwards. We could get cheeky with some of the charges too.

Mayhaps add in some trolling to desensitize them to any state secrets they come across. Make them believe those giants they saw were put there to screw with them.
 
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Grandma’s Recipes
  • Apocrypha
    • Grandma's Recipes
    ​
    Hey. PSSST. HEEEEEY!

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    You just never knew it until now. Here, have a baggie. Free sample.

    Go on. Try it out. Go, go! Special recipe, homemade, comes from my grandma. She sure as hell knew here shit. Come on, open it and try some! What's the worst that could happen, yeah?

    Well? What do you think?

    'Pretty good'? What do you mean, pretty good!? It's FUCKING AWESOME!

    Wanna know how I got it? Old family friend supplies us with the best stuff. He takes a hefty batch of the raw goods and dries 'em, all natural-like, under the sun. Get 'em nice and toasty. Fun and crispy! Then he hands 'em off to us and we give him a slice of the pie, so to speak. His part of the proceeds.

    Then me and the fam get to work processing the good stuff. We cut 'em up into the ideal bite-sized pieces, and coat 'em with our special, oil and herb blend, maybe with a couple more secret seasonings. Then comes the most important part. We bake each side in an oven till it's all crunchy and crispy. Gotta make sure they don't burn, a'course!

    And that's how you make the good stuff!

    …

    Huh? What do we call 'em?

    Mmm…

    Ah! We'll call 'em the The Good Stuff Homemade Seaweed Snacks! Yeah that'll do. Aight, imma go on and hand out some more free samples. Ah, but first, wanna buy some?

    Ha! Of course you do! Three? Nice! Here, I'll hand you five. Consider it a special for being our first customer! Now, if you'll excuse me, Imma go and hand out some more samples. You just come on back 'round these parts if you want some more. Me and my fam should be around to sell some more in case your supply runs out.

    See ya!


    Note: I have this mental picture of an Iron Tiger mecha handing out a huge The Good Stuff™ baggie to a beached American sailor.

    ​
     
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  • Apocrypha
    • Okay boys I've just talked to some writing friends who have told me not to do this.

    I choose to ignore them.

    An omake will come later tonight.

    We're about to get wired.
     
    You are ignoring content by this member.
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hopstial and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu imigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.

    This is just hilarious, completely change American expectations about us
     
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.

    Not only do we get to troll the US, we can do it while getting payed as well.
     
    Ramble said:
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hopstial and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu imigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Put this in:

    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
     
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] Talk to the embassies of the US and China while getting ahead of the media so that our story is the one that hits the news first. Both to make sure that there will be no problems with the Chinese government, and to get ahead of the capitalist propaganda sure to try to paint Guangcho in the worst light possible.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
     
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    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
    -[X] offer sailors immediate transport to nearest US aligned country (Japan or South Korea). Record any public declaration be soldiers on why they can't do that (because of course they won't just leave their ship)
    -[X] Don't let US diplomats redirect the news to something stupid, like that we have captured and are holding hostage US sailors. Make public all accommodations made to sailors, perhaps at UN (If we don't have representative there, ask for help from china at spreading message)
    -[X] If allies ask about our handling of event, emphasize the danger of escalation. This incident has a danger of escalating like the cuban missile crisis. Its best if this kept a minor regional affair, rather than becoming an open dispute between 2 nuclear nations. We are keeping are demands reasonable, and we are not attempting anything stupid that will exacerbate the situation, like stealing any american technology, or taking US prisoners
    -[X] Record other accommodations offered to americans. Make sure to record moments when any americans take advantage of the aid we have provided. Try to provide 24 hr recordings, or equivalents, to prove at least some sailors are using our aid, and that they still are free and manning their ships.
    -[X] Ask allies to leak recordings in western nations if possible. Make it clear to common citizens that we have not mistreated soldiers, and that we are trying to deescalate. Try to make it look like Western nations value their money more than the sailors lives
     
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    Okay, so, it is 0:18 here, and I need to sleep. So see y'all in 8-10 hours!

    Btw, any omakes about/around the Crisis will be given three options as their reward.

    Escalation (In a fun, Tropico Style, way.)
    De-escalation (In a "We don't want to die in nuclear fire" way.)
    And "Make Magoose Suffer."
     
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