Remove ads

That Time I Became A Dictator Of A Small Asian Communist Nation

Voting is open
Reader mode
[X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
-[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
-[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
-[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
-[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
-[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
 
TheJoy said:
The Chinese may get mad if we're to independent. We are there vassal.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

We can take the hit. Worst case, we reveal a bit of our less suspicious tech that would help contribute to manned spaceflight for brownie points, something that we'd need to do anyways when pursuing a space program, if only so the Chinese don't lose face and crack down on us in retaliation.
 
[X] send an American native to speak to the sailors on the ship to explain that we will work with their government to get them home.

[X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
-[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
-[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
-[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
-[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
-[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
 
TheJoy said:
The Chinese may get mad if we're to independent. We are there vassal.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Quick note before I sleep:
Not really. You are semi-reliant on them for economic reasons. However, politicaly speaking, you have a junior-senior relationship, with the implicit understanding that you aren't a bumfuck province to exploit as they see fit. If China went: "Gib Clay," you'd make 'Nam look like a fucking joke.

And I'm talking before you factor in that you can start producing Iron Tiger Regiments. Someday. Eventually.
 
Remove ads
USS Iwo Jima Incident Transcript
HeroCooky said:
However, his situation had gone from natural disaster-bad to World War Three Incident-Bad with a single phone call. Mainly because, due to the tsunami, there was an American Aircraft Carrier Beached A Hundred Meters Into The Island.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Cyberphilosipher said:
You didn't have time to process this as the Photos were taken.

"Are they any good?" You asked.

"I don't know...they came up blurry? Has that happened before?" Bruce said.

"Equipment failure at a time like this...what else can go wrong?" You said.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
:"Did we locate the Iwo Jima yet"
:"It seems we did, and you are not going to like WHERE it somehow ended up. Beached on the unimportant Communist island of Guangchou. You know, the one that recently caught a massive amount of rebels and became a media sensation?"
:"HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET BEACHED THERE!!!"
:"No clue, unfortunately the spy plane camera malfunctioned, meaning we only have the pilot reports and whatever the Guangchou release, until we can send another over."
:"The Blackbird had a MALFUNCTIONING CAMERA!?!? The most advanced spy plane in our Arsenal, had a malfunctioning camera while in the air!?"
:"Well, technical problems are a given, no matter what tech you work with, still doesn't change the situation. Might the captain of the carrier purposefully run the ship aground? there was a lot of evidence being thrown around in those trials. Maybe they might have a competent spy network?"
:"While the ship was not where it should of, purposefully running it aground is not likely, especially since the Guangchou don't have the facilities to maintain let alone repair such a ship."
:"Though we still have a whole aircraft carrier worth of sailors trapped in that island, we may need to send a force to exfiltrate them. Though hopefully we might not have to"
:"Really hope so. There is a reason why China does not have the guts to try and take over that island. They did make sure the Japanese never managed to secure any foothold on their soil. And I don't think our forces would be quite enough"
A/N: This is what I got so far on my omake.
 
Cyberphilosipher said:
remote paradice that
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
paradise
Given what's happened recently I see the confusion to think the dice are para-dice!
Cyberphilosipher said:
and oceanfront property…Command, I know it's a bit sudden, but requesting permission to fly overGuangchou
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Spaces needed.
HeroCooky said:
Mainly because, due to the tsunami, there was an American Aircraft Carrier Beached A Hundred Meters Into The Island.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yoink.
Magoose said:
Maybe we should call the Americans and tell them they owe us billions for the damages their carrier caused us.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yes.
HeroCooky said:
You can get an american native to them in half an hour (which would be my personal favorite option), with about several dozen fluent english speakers in a 5-minute range.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
We have a native American on the island?
Themarineguy said:
Why don't we treat the stranded seamen as honored guests?
You know, just to completely subvert expectations and see how they handle it.:D
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Also yes.
BelligerentGnu said:
The Americans know we're not trying to steal the thing, just extort a small amount of money, and we get to show off our big brass national balls by flicking off Uncle Sam.

Honoured guests is nice too. Hell, maybe some gay sailors would defect!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
They are the navy!
Plus any planes that got fell off the ship? Salvage. Ours specifically...
Ryzer said:
We can very much try to get a fine for some good 20 Million dollar, and Even try and make a fuzz about America destroyind exotic and extremely rare fauna, with this we can get the greenpeace or something environmental to shit on america, and get the reportern about the disaster that cause in the lives of our citizen, get the media milk this news
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
They're fighting 1 commies and made to pay out another!
HeroCooky said:
This is going to become a bit, isn't it?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
You knew what you were doing when you wrote that chapter.
Ramble said:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Though if an short army of street vendors, barbers, pop up bars, and other assorted entrepreneurs decide to set up nearby to bilk the 2600 stranded Americans with pockets full of dollars and zero financial management training than that's just business isn't it?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Reminds me of a bit in Order Of The Stick webcomic. A rural village with cheaper than dirt prices hears of adventures coming and the rapidly glitz up the place and sell everything at a 1000 percent mark up. Then the adventures comment how nice it is the place is more homely and simple with cheap prices for goods and services compared to the bigger cities.
abominable said:
randma. She sure as hell new here knew here
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Several misspelling and grammar mistakes.
abominable said:
Old family fried supplies us with the best stuff. He takes a hefty
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
friend
abominable said:
Put this in:

-[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
While we're at it?
-[X] See if some of those planes and various other equipment can't just...you know...fall off a ship?
HeroCooky said:
Gib Clay
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
???
 
HeroCooky said:
Quick note before I sleep:
Not really. You are semi-reliant on them for economic reasons. However, politicaly speaking, you have a junior-senior relationship, with the implicit understanding that you aren't a bumfuck province to exploit as they see fit. If China went: "Gib Clay," you'd make 'Nam look like a fucking joke.

And I'm talking before you factor in that you can start producing Iron Tiger Regiments. Someday. Eventually.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Ok, I thought we're in a more subordinate position. This address my concerns.
 
So idea for the ship if it can't be put back in the water: let the Americans strip their planes, ammo, fuel and classified stuff off the ship then we convert the thing into a coastal defense airbase.
 
Cyberphilosipher said:
"Also tell the Blackbirds to stop violating our nations Airspace. We know it was you."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Uniromically i want to do this

Defuse the situation as much

"You left something of yours on our territory,we will cordon thw rean so you can get it out,at exchange dont look up out shit and stay away from the areas you werent allowed in"

No need to have a cuban missile style crysis
And get some diplomavy brownie points too
 
Puking his guts up was not a fun time
  • Apocrypha
    • Puking his guts up was not a fun time, and certainly not a good sign, since he had been slammed full force into a bulkhead when they were picked up and thrown who knows where by what felt like an angry God. "Sorry about not praying more often, I'll go to chapel, I swear." Petty officer third class, Johnathan 'Nate' Rico murmured, clutching his crucifix as he would a life preserver.

    The banging on the Hatch left him confused for a moment, and made his headache feel a thousand times worse. Unless he'd been knocked unconscious for even longer than he thought and just left lying in a heap, there shouldn't be anyone outside. Hell, there couldn't be anyone outside. Not after being hit by that insane wave.

    Maybe it was the concussion, or maybe it was the fact his head felt like it was exploding and he didn't want to hear the banging anymore, but he twisted the handle of the hatch, pulling it open with a heave. A strange Asian fellow holding a hoe was standing at the door, looking at him with a near incandescent fury and speaking in surprisingly good English.

    "Stupid American sailor, can't keep stupid American Ship in the ocean, now my field under ten thousand tons of stupid American metal!" The hoe was thrust into his hands. "You come now, Stupid American Sailor, you hoe new field. Maybe you become good Guangchou Farmer. Get food, get doctor, marry pretty Guangchou."

    "I...what?"

    "Hurry up!" The Asian fellow said, clapping his hands and making Nate's headache worse. He stumbled out the door, thoroughly confused, as instead of open seas spreading into the distance, there was instead verdant waterlogged jungle and row after row of fields and rice paddies.

    "What the fuck?"
     
  • Apocrypha
    • USS Iwo Jima Incident Transcript
  • Apocrypha
    • USS Iwo Jima Incident Transcript
    HeroCooky said:
    However, his situation had gone from natural disaster-bad to World War Three Incident-Bad with a single phone call. Mainly because, due to the tsunami, there was an American Aircraft Carrier Beached A Hundred Meters Into The Island.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Cyberphilosipher said:
    You didn't have time to process this as the Photos were taken.

    "Are they any good?" You asked.

    "I don't know...they came up blurry? Has that happened before?" Bruce said.

    "Equipment failure at a time like this...what else can go wrong?" You said.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    :"Did we locate the Iwo Jima yet"
    :"It seems we did, and you are not going to like WHERE it somehow ended up. Beached on the unimportant Communist island of Guangchou. You know, the one that recently caught a massive amount of rebels and became a media sensation?"
    :"HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET BEACHED THERE!!!"
    :"No clue, unfortunately the spy plane camera malfunctioned, meaning we only have the pilot reports and whatever the Guangchou release, until we can send another over."
    :"The Blackbird had a MALFUNCTIONING CAMERA!?!? The most advanced spy plane in our Arsenal, had a malfunctioning camera while in the air!?"
    :"Well, technical problems are a given, no matter what tech you work with, still doesn't change the situation. Especially since it's gonna take some time at the analysts to see what we could get from them. Might the captain of the carrier purposefully run the ship aground? there was a lot of evidence being thrown around in those trials. Maybe they might have a competent spy network?"
    :"While the ship was not where it should of, purposefully running it aground is not likely, especially since the Guangchou don't have the facilities to maintain let alone repair such a ship."
    :"Though we still have a whole aircraft carrier worth of sailors trapped in that island, we may need to send a force to exfiltrate them. Though hopefully we might not have to"
    :"Really hope so. There is a reason why China does not have the guts to try and take over that island. They did make sure the Japanese never managed to secure any foothold on their soil. And I don't think our forces would be quite enough"
    :"Why little faith? We have a lot more to work with than the imperials did, on top of better planes, ships, and everything else."
    :"And they know their island, which is quite defensible, a stubborn population, and of course there are whatever defenses they still maintain from WW2 we may need to contend with. Even before counting where their military budget is going. I mean, they haven't been buying anything new or making their own, even if just to show off!"
    :"That IS weird. Either they have an ace that they feel secures their survival, or they are working on something BIG"
    :"Nuclear program? No, can't be, they don't have any source of uranium, nor are they looking for any. We really want to investigate, cause we don't want any rude surprises. Like this incident is turning out to be"

    A/N: Well, this is an expanded thing, and I think that besides maybe names, seems about done. And honestly, the sheer lack of military designs on our end is likely worrying. Because honestly, it sends a signal that we don't feel any need to puff ourselves up and look strong, hinting at something going on, a black project either done or being worked on.
     
  • Apocrypha
    • [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
     
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
     
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
    -[X] See if some of those planes and various other equipment can't just...you know...fall off a ship?
     
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
    -[X] See if some of those planes and various other equipment can't just...you know...fall off a ship?
     
    new options I am adding in red:
    edit: I didn't realize we knew what exact type of carrier we had washed up on our shores. I have struck through everything that is no longer relevant, now that I know the carrier is not nuclear powered

    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
    -[X] don't try to remove anything off the boat. Make a conscious effort not to steal anything, and crack down on any looters. If un investigators are sent, their should be no evidence that we have stolen a single piece of military hardware
    -[X] offer sailors immediate transport to nearest US aligned country (Japan or South Korea). Record any public declaration be soldiers on why they can't do that (because of course they won't just leave their ship)
    -[X] Don't let US diplomats redirect the news to something stupid, like that we have captured and are holding hostage US sailors. Make public all accommodations made to sailors, perhaps at UN (If we don't have representative there, ask for help from china at spreading message)
    -[X] If allies ask about our handling of event, emphasize the danger of escalation. This incident has a danger of escalating like the cuban missile crisis. Its best if this kept a minor regional affair, rather than becoming an open dispute between 2 nuclear nations. We are keeping are demands reasonable, and we are not attempting anything stupid that will exacerbate the situation, like stealing any american technology, or taking US prisoners
    -[X] Record other accommodations offered to americans. Make sure to record moments when any americans take advantage of the aid we have provided. Try to provide 24 hr recordings, or equivalents, to prove at least some sailors are using our aid, and that they still are free and manning their ships.
    -[X] Ask allies to leak recordings in western nations if possible. Make it clear to common citizens that we have not mistreated soldiers, and that we are trying to deescalate. Try to make it look like Western nations value their money more than the sailors lives
    -[X] If allies ask about our handling of event, emphasize the danger of escalation, due to nuclear power plant that is probably within the carrier itself. This incident is already nuclear, and has a danger of escalating like the cuban missile crisis. Its best if this kept a minor regional affair, rather than becoming an open dispute between 2 nuclear nations
    -[X] If talks go terribly with America, remind them that the nuclear reactor in the ship may be damaged and leaking radiation. Explain Exorbitant littering fees are because america just left a possible nuclear bomb on your doorstep, and that you just want reparations for the medical care of your citizens (I think nuclear reactors should be much more resistant than this, but it is a diplomatic card we can pull)
    -[X] Maybe actually measure the radiation in the area to see if anything happened. Its the best we can do without direct investigation into the ships nuclear reactor

    -[X] Talk to the embassies of the US and China while getting ahead of the media so that our story is the one that hits the news first. Both to make sure that there will be no problems with the Chinese government, and to get ahead of the capitalist propaganda sure to try to paint Guangcho in the worst light possible.
    (Am stealing the above line from later post by @7th Hex because it is a very good point)

    And now a short (unrealistic) scene on our call with the american diplomat (as I imagine it, if things go extremely well for us).
    What? No, American Diplomat Smith, we are not holding your soldiers hostage! They are free to leave.... No, Our issue is with the tens of thousands of steel you just dumped on our soil! ... No sir, don't bring up the bullshit about your soldiers being captured. They are staying with the ship under their captains orders. We need you to take the ship so that the soldiers- ... Bullshit! We have several audio recordings we have given to the UN which prove the humanitarian treatment of- .... DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU WILL COMISSION A NUCLEAR STRIKE WHEN WE HAVEN'T EVEN TAKEN ANY PRISONERS! ... I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT TO AVOID PAYING ANY FINES. BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WOULD START WORLD WAR 3 TO AVOID THEM, MR. SMITH! ... No, Mr Smith, I don't know anything about the recordings provided to abc. I provided all the information to the chinese delgation to the UN, who I assume handed it over to the general assembly of the UN. It has been 3 weeks since then, so I can imagine someone decided to leak the information. ... No, Mr. smith, we didn't do anything. We couldn't have done anything. How would we even hand over audio recordings to abc. ... Yes, I understand that a western nation like yours has found a million derogatory terms for the sexual liberation my people experience, but I am failing to see the point in your latest diatribe. ... Mr. Smith, are you telling me it is the american position that you do not care about your soldiers being 'lost' if the other option means 'losing' to a nation like ours? Did you really describe paying fees as 'losing'? ... No, mr smith, I just find it interesting, since I have been putting our entire discussion on speakers for all your soldiers to hear. .... Please, Mr. smith, please don't pretend as if your own words are our 'propoganda'. We have been honest in trying to find a peaceful resolution to this conflict but ... Ah, Mr smith, I just realized. There is another way for this entire conflict to be resolved. We have set up an immigration post near the ship. If all your sailors wanted to immigrate to our country, we would be more than happy. ... Oh mr smith, I believe they have already started lining up. I can't imagine what you could've said to make them act this way ... It not a pleasure to talk to you, Mr smith. However, I imagine I will have a far more productive time talking to your replacement.


    And now a short (unrealistic) scene on our call with the american diplomat (as I imagine it, if things go well. I know we will probably have another vote to dictate our exact negotiation strategy though):
    What? No, American Diplomat Smith, we are not holding your soldiers hostage! They are free to leave.... No, Our issue is with the tens of thousands of steel you just dumped on our soil! ... No sir, don't bring up the bullshit about your soldiers being captured. They are staying with the ship under their captains orders. We need you to take the ship so that the soldiers- ... Bullshit! We haven't even touched your sailing nuclear bomb. Do you understand just how much damage its already done! ... No, that was not a threat, Smith. Its a statement of fact. We have already given you numbers for the damages you have caused. If you don't realize that that is what we care about- ... You can call us bimbos and whores all you want. It doesn't change the fact that you are demanding to put soldiers on our shows because your nuclear boy toy crashed on our shores and started spewing- ... DO YOU WANT US TO GO TO THE UN AND OUR ALLIES AND SHOW THE RADIATION CHARTS! ... YES, LET ME REPEAT WHAT YOU SAID. 'I DON'T CARE IF A BUNCH OF STUPID SLUTS DIE OF IRRADIATION OR NUCLEAR FIRE, YOU WILL HAND OVER OUR SHIP!' SIR, ARE YOU SURE THAT WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE MAKING THREATS? ... Yes, we should calm down and remember this call is being recorded. ... Yes sir, threatening to start world war three is bad. Its a shame that we have made 0 claims about military force in this conversation, and you have made 5. ... Yes, mr smith, it is just money we want. money, and for your ship to leave. ... Please don't insult me. We haven't taken anything from your precious boy toy. That ship is as pristine as the moment it touched our shores. What that ship was doing there in the first place is a mystery, but at least no one was talking about military force, or nuclear fire in response to this incident. That would be bad. ... No, mr. Smith, it was not a pleasure to talk to you. However, I will be glad to discuss the details with your replacement.
     
    Last edited:
    [X] send a message asking for the Americans to please come pick up their boat.
    -[X] The nation's littering laws are currently not suitable for the situation at hand. Pass a new law to allow for a suitable littering fine.
    -[X] get a field hospital and field kitchen going to help the American sailors, issue orders to our people they they are NOT prisoners but dont let let them wander off.
    -[X] set up an impromptu immigrations and customs post in case any sailors do want to leave and go into town or something.
    -[X] Extend a line of credit to the sailors for the duration of their stay. Bill their government the difference afterwards.
    -[X] Get the Americans addicted to our The Good Stuff™ Homemade Seaween Snacks with its top secret oil-herb-seasoning mix till they're begging for our exports shipments. We shall become a household name!
     
    Last edited:
    Reader mode
    You must login or register to reply here.
    Voting is open
    Remove ads
    Back
    Top