931: Just Be.
[X] Calming, soothing mint tea.
Before you speak, you take another sip of your tea. The mint pierces your taste buds, bringing you back into the moment and letting you focus on your words.
"...Back home, I was always just stronger than everyone else." You admit to Raido, who doesn't interrupt you, "Heck, I never even questioned it. I kept doing what I thought I should be doing, even if it got me into a ton of fights and all the trouble that comes with 'em." You take a deep breath before continuing, "After a little while, I found out that there were bigger threats to fight than bullies, so I just... Kept doing what I always did. I fought. Now, I've had a ton of close calls, and some... Incidents that I needed Shoji's guidance to keep me from losing my head, but I never actually had to... Kill anyone." The word falls from your mouth like you were spitting out some rotten food.
Raido still doesn't interrupt you, just silently sipping his tea while keeping you in the corner of his eye. A part of you wishes he'd ask you something, even if it was a waste of time to answer.
"No, they always either dropped or tapped out before I got anywhere close to that far. So..." You take another sip of tea, "...That's why I came to Mitakihara. To get away from everything and just... Be. I-I know I'm not really making sense, and I--?"
"I understand, Yumi." Raido finally speaks again, holding up his hand to stop you for a moment, "I understand exactly what you're saying. That's why I came here, back to Kazamino. Tokyo was simply too loud, and the only cases I could get weren't anything the police couldn't handle. Even the demon population dwindled down to just the occasional straggler. So, when a couple of my... "Cousins" requested to guard Tokyo themselves, I let them. Back then, I felt awful about leaving my duties to recover at home. Now, I'm glad I let them have that chance to grow. Because I got to meet you all over again." He offers you a small smile, "...Sorry for going off on a tangent. Go on?"
You shrug a little, "Even through all of my fighting, I've... I've never fought someone like Father Hino before. He was so willing to do whatever it takes to make people suffer, and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Even scum like alleyway thugs work for greed or pride, but that was something else entirely." You take another sip, realizing that the cup is now empty and filling it back up, "And even if there was another choice, I still... My decision would've been the same. Just knowing that he was out there, haunting my friends and family, would've made it a done deal. I thought I would feel different, be different, especially after that, but..." You stare out over the pond, "...I don't. I'm still me, even after going through what terrified me as a child, even with all my strength."
"I just wish I had gotten there earlier." Raido admits, staring at his tea, "That I could have been the one to make that decision, if only so you didn't. I'm truly sorry, Yumi. But that's the only way it could have gone, and I'm glad you understand that you aren't a murderer for defending yourself and your friends. Also..." He turns to you, a slight smile on his face, "...You did a good job discreetly healing Chitose today. I'm sure she appreciates not being the center of attention for that."
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Before you speak, you take another sip of your tea. The mint pierces your taste buds, bringing you back into the moment and letting you focus on your words.
"...Back home, I was always just stronger than everyone else." You admit to Raido, who doesn't interrupt you, "Heck, I never even questioned it. I kept doing what I thought I should be doing, even if it got me into a ton of fights and all the trouble that comes with 'em." You take a deep breath before continuing, "After a little while, I found out that there were bigger threats to fight than bullies, so I just... Kept doing what I always did. I fought. Now, I've had a ton of close calls, and some... Incidents that I needed Shoji's guidance to keep me from losing my head, but I never actually had to... Kill anyone." The word falls from your mouth like you were spitting out some rotten food.
Raido still doesn't interrupt you, just silently sipping his tea while keeping you in the corner of his eye. A part of you wishes he'd ask you something, even if it was a waste of time to answer.
"No, they always either dropped or tapped out before I got anywhere close to that far. So..." You take another sip of tea, "...That's why I came to Mitakihara. To get away from everything and just... Be. I-I know I'm not really making sense, and I--?"
"I understand, Yumi." Raido finally speaks again, holding up his hand to stop you for a moment, "I understand exactly what you're saying. That's why I came here, back to Kazamino. Tokyo was simply too loud, and the only cases I could get weren't anything the police couldn't handle. Even the demon population dwindled down to just the occasional straggler. So, when a couple of my... "Cousins" requested to guard Tokyo themselves, I let them. Back then, I felt awful about leaving my duties to recover at home. Now, I'm glad I let them have that chance to grow. Because I got to meet you all over again." He offers you a small smile, "...Sorry for going off on a tangent. Go on?"
You shrug a little, "Even through all of my fighting, I've... I've never fought someone like Father Hino before. He was so willing to do whatever it takes to make people suffer, and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Even scum like alleyway thugs work for greed or pride, but that was something else entirely." You take another sip, realizing that the cup is now empty and filling it back up, "And even if there was another choice, I still... My decision would've been the same. Just knowing that he was out there, haunting my friends and family, would've made it a done deal. I thought I would feel different, be different, especially after that, but..." You stare out over the pond, "...I don't. I'm still me, even after going through what terrified me as a child, even with all my strength."
"I just wish I had gotten there earlier." Raido admits, staring at his tea, "That I could have been the one to make that decision, if only so you didn't. I'm truly sorry, Yumi. But that's the only way it could have gone, and I'm glad you understand that you aren't a murderer for defending yourself and your friends. Also..." He turns to you, a slight smile on his face, "...You did a good job discreetly healing Chitose today. I'm sure she appreciates not being the center of attention for that."
[] ??????????????????????????????