@Mister Ficser are you sure the SI is young? He sounds like grumpy old man you just irritated. Don't get me wrong I'd have said the same thing to Black Canary in even blunter terms. I laughed out loud for a few minutes.
Starro Tech is a canonical example. I mean, one of their primary drives is to infect others and they can do so near-instantly by touch. Upon infection they promptly become hostile to everything they care about. There is a lot of overlap between zombies and body-snatchers, so it is a bit extreme to deny the possibility of a cure. There is also the issue that there are gods around(?), so Wonder Woman could probably arrange a cure of some pretty extreme cases of brain-replacement if it was important enough. Like, I am pretty sure that We have a different definition of "This case of Rabies is incurable" than Star Trek does...
Then again, these are costumed heroes, so they will go much further for a cure than is necessarily "sane". To be fair, they will have better success rates than is sane too, but Young Justice is not exactly the best version of the setting for boundless optimism...
Starro is, thankfully, more or less bodyjacking. It can be disrupted, removed and even over-written provided your team has the know-how.
Zombies are more a case of 'Elvis has left the building'. It's hard to have an encore when the star performer is already gone.
Death doesn't have a big issue with the dead coming back because she'll still collect everyone in the end. That said, it's still difficult for everyone involved. Especially when you have someone who doesn't -want- to come back.
As for why you should never use a Nuke in a zombie virus:
Best case scenario you win and all the zombies are dead. Worst case scenarios? The Virus mutates or is sent into the atmosphere. Or in the "Oh God it can get worst" case both happen.
You also have the issue of zombies being just outside the frozen pizza zone. They'll wander off and might not break down until they're someplace that really shouldn't get irradiated. Like a critical water source or a pig farm.
This seems redundant. it could be reduced to "Often they spread their infection through a bite that kills and transforms someone into something."
This is ironic coming from Alchemist who is himself trying to 'cure' Leslie of his deceased status, though I guess there is a bit of wiggle room with Terra's retcon.
Alchemist is rambling and not exactly working with a script. He's got an idea on what to teach, but not the best way to teach it. Hence why he got distracted and started airing some of his thoughts on the problem with a lot of Gamer stories.
And yeah, it's a bit hypocritical. What you say and what you do tend to be a bit different when the problem is right on your doorstep.
Alchemist is rambling and not exactly working with a script. He's got an idea on what to teach, but not the best way to teach it. Hence why he got distracted and started airing some of his thoughts on the problem with a lot of Gamer stories.
And yeah, it's a bit hypocritical. What you say and what you do tend to be a bit different when the problem is right on your doorstep.
Honestly, that's a small detail I adore about the story. Silliness aside, Alchemist feels real in his actions and what he says. While he's abusing his OOCP nature and knowledge, he doesn't talk like he's reading off a script or he's some superhuman speaker. I mean, sure, he doesn't have the natural stutters and breaks you'd have IRL but that's really hard to convey in a story without breaking the flow to an unbearable degree.
Although, in fairness, there's a decent bit of difference between Leslie's death and something like the plague of undeath. Leslie's body is still around completely whole while zombies tend to be, as they're oft described to be, walking corpses. If you cure the virus or burn out the parasite or whatever... The body's still dead. Even if you called the soul back into it, they'd just up and die without some kind of mystical life support. Alchemist just wants to return a soul where it belongs - in a fully functional, still living body - and put his own self in a new shell.
Yes, very much so, it is just... . It can be difficult to determine which is which. If Starro Tech was used for "moan, shamble, eat brains" then... . Like, the underlying message seems to me, should be, "if the brain is dead, then it is a corpse and the prior owner should be treated as such", which is not the sort of thing that can be put into practice without a means of examining the brains of active zeds, which is easier for some heroes than others. So "If it looks like a zombie, and it moves like a zombie, and it steers like a zombie, then give up on a cure, containment is not a solution, incendiary the entire area to ash at the first opportunity." could be less than the best possible outcome. It might still be the wise option, but these are heroes, so "they were still alive in there" would be a harsh realisation.
To be clear: It is my understanding that biozombies generally are, in fact, alive, as zombies(distinct from, but not necessarily exclusive from, humans). With the "being alive" thing being the primary means of discerning them from magzombiesm which are noteworthy in their not-requiring of biology.
Yes, very much so, it is just... . It can be difficult to determine which is which. If Starro Tech was used for "moan, shamble, eat brains" then... . Like, the underlying message seems to me, should be, "if the brain is dead, then it is a corpse and the prior owner should be treated as such", which is not the sort of thing that can be put into practice without a means of examining the brains of active zeds, which is easier for some heroes than others. So "If it looks like a zombie, and it moves like a zombie, and it steers like a zombie, then give up on a cure, containment is not a solution, incendiary the entire area to ash at the first opportunity." could be less than the best possible outcome. It might still be the wise option, but these are heroes, so "they were still alive in there" would be a harsh realisation.
To be clear: It is my understanding that biozombies generally are, in fact, alive, as zombies(distinct from, but not necessarily exclusive from, humans). With the "being alive" thing being the primary means of discerning them from magzombiesm which are noteworthy in their not-requiring of biology.
There are some very different measures of alive in regards to biozombies. The cordyceps fungus was mentioned for a reason, it tends to root itself into the nervous system of what it does grow on (Ants, thankfully) and destroys enough of the brain that the host being 'Alive' is more of a technical term than anything.
Even if the fungus was removed in a non-destructive manner, it would finish off the host regardless as it no longer has a puppeteer controlling the body.
Viruses and bacteria may offer some chance of survival, though. But that falls into 'I am Legend' territory. By the time a cure is synthesized, would it still be worth it? And how much of the infected person will be left?
These are all good questions, and now I kind of want to see a story written on the premise of 'Post Zombie Apocalypse, year zero'.
There are some very different measures of alive in regards to biozombies. The cordyceps fungus was mentioned for a reason, it tends to root itself into the nervous system of what it does grow on (Ants, thankfully) and destroys enough of the brain that the host being 'Alive' is more of a technical term than anything.
Even if the fungus was removed in a non-destructive manner, it would finish off the host regardless as it no longer has a puppeteer controlling the body.
Viruses and bacteria may offer some chance of survival, though. But that falls into 'I am Legend' territory. By the time a cure is synthesized, would it still be worth it? And how much of the infected person will be left?
These are all good questions, and now I kind of want to see a story written on the premise of 'Post Zombie Apocalypse, year zero'.
Read the Newsflesh series, that is the basic world, and this is on the back of the first book:
Alive or dead, the truth won't rest. My name is Georgia Mason, and I am begging you. Rise up while you can."
The year was 2014. We had cured cancer. We had beat the common cold. But in doing so we created something new, something terrible that no one could stop. The infection spread, virus blocks taking over bodies and minds with one, unstoppable command: FEED.
NOW, twenty years after the Rising, Georgia and Shaun Mason are on the trail of the biggest story of their lives-the dark conspiracy behind the infected. The truth will out, even if it kills them.
But that falls into 'I am Legend' territory. By the time a cure is synthesized, would it still be worth it? And how much of the infected person will be left?
Couldn't Alchemist just point out that his "curing of death" only works in so far that Death itself gave him permission to do it once and for only one person? And that if he was to revive idk Elvis death wouldn't agree with that. It's one thing to cure death without permission form death itself but a whole nother situation when given the go ahead?
It was a bad choice for adaptation, as almost all non traditional narratives are. Its no more than a generic zombie movie with something else's name on it
It was a bad choice for adaptation, as almost all non traditional narratives are. Its no more than a generic zombie movie with something else's name on it
At least it isn't the reverse, where it's a terrible, horribly disturbing book and an "Eh, an ok, albeit Cheesy Teen Romance" movie adaption.
I remember when the movie first came and I wanted to read the book it was adapted from. I was a teen then and it was pretty traumatizing reading. Eventually I realized it was the author's exceedingly graphic social commentary about how having sex with women your age is like fucking a corpse (complete with an actual horribly graphic scene with two middle aged, "zombie-married" zombies having a miserable, dry fuck) while romancing teenagers is much more innocent/refreshing and "Alive".
Edit: Ah, I forgot to mention the book/movie title. It's "Warm Bodies". The movie and the book are two completely different things, unrecognizable from the other. The movie changed the male love interest from middle aged to a teenager and it became Star Crossed Lovers instead of Passive Older Male Becomes Involved with a Fresh Young Thing.
the only thing i remember about that movie was that the zombies had zombies. those fuckers were scary to think about. zombies rot but they rot into super zombies and they use tactics too so good luck. special zombies are a problem but special zombies that spawn when you take to long to kill normal zombies are a whole different problem
@Mister Ficser
-The kids might not have noticed, but Batman certainly did when he did not deny that death could be cured.
For a dude whose trauma is so fundamentally rooted in premature parental death, it does speak to a significant amount of self control. Come to think about it, Robin might feel some sort of way, assuming this is Dick Grayson.
-It occurs to me just how significantly the availability of Esuna messes with a couple YJ plotlines
1)Assuming its not meant to be a plot point?
DnD 5's Shiftweave is a potential solution for the problem of Dragonform wrecking one's clothes.
Alternatively, Exalted 2E has the 1-dot Transformative Clothing that requires no attunement, changes form with you or into any item or outfit of clothing you choose from ribbon to three piece suit, but offers no protection, or the 2-dot Transformative Armor which does the same thing, but offers some protection against damage.
2)Black Canary may not be fully trained or licensed as a therapist, but its not really believable that she would deliberately set up someone she has every reason to believe is a teenager to be beaten up under her care as petty revenge for something he said.
If Jinx noticed, Robin would have. So would M'gann the telepath.
And frankly, if he believed she was abusive to him, Alchemist would have raised the issue before now with Batman or the League, either when she was assigned to help care for vulnerable superteens like the Kryptonian siblings, or when she essentially adopted Jinx.
Hostility/antipathy? That happens.
Batman and Guy Gardner canonically dont get along in the comics. But abuse is something else.
3)Speaking of Guy Gardner, its worth noting that prior to becoming a GL?
He was canonically a juvenile delinquent, qualified from college with degrees in psychology and education, then served as a councillor for prisoners, before finally ending up as a physical ed teacher for special needs children.
Thats probably a lot more professional knowledge of kids than anyone League-adjacent. Including Batman.
He'd probably be the closest thing to a knowledgeable professional helping with the children if he was around Earth regularly.
And if he and Batman got along in this continuity, since the Team is essentially a Batman project.
She's previously been introduced to both Batman and Robin, but neither remember.
Probably wont be any different with the rest of the kids, besides maybe Penny.
One does have to suspect that Alchemist interests her on some level; most mortals dont meet her in their lifetime as many times he has. And especially in a non-professional basis.
@Mister Ficser
-The kids might not have noticed, but Batman certainly did when he did not deny that death could be cured.
For a dude whose trauma is so fundamentally rooted in premature parental death, it does speak to a significant amount of self control. Come to think about it, Robin might feel some sort of way, assuming this is Dick Grayson.
-It occurs to me just how significantly the availability of Esuna messes with a couple YJ plotlines
1)Assuming its not meant to be a plot point?
DnD 5's Shiftweave is a potential solution for the problem of Dragonform wrecking one's clothes.
Alternatively, Exalted 2E has the 1-dot Transformative Clothing that requires no attunement, changes form with you or into any item or outfit of clothing you choose from ribbon to three piece suit, but offers no protection, or the 2-dot Transformative Armor which does the same thing, but offers some protection against damage.
2)Black Canary may not be fully trained or licensed as a therapist, but its not really believable that she would deliberately set up someone she has every reason to believe is a teenager to be beaten up under her care as petty revenge for something he said.
If Jinx noticed, Robin would have. So would M'gann the telepath.
And frankly, if he believed she was abusive to him, Alchemist would have raised the issue before now with Batman or the League, either when she was assigned to help care for vulnerable superteens like the Kryptonian siblings, or when she essentially adopted Jinx.
Hostility/antipathy? That happens.
Batman and Guy Gardner canonically dont get along in the comics. But abuse is something else.
3)Speaking of Guy Gardner, its worth noting that prior to becoming a GL?
He was canonically a juvenile delinquent, qualified from college with degrees in psychology and education, then served as a councillor for prisoners, before finally ending up as a physical ed teacher for special needs children.
Thats probably a lot more professional knowledge of kids than anyone League-adjacent. Including Batman.
He'd probably be the closest thing to a knowledgeable professional helping with the children if he was around Earth regularly.
And if he and Batman got along in this continuity, since the Team is essentially a Batman project.
She's previously been introduced to both Batman and Robin, but neither remember.
Probably wont be any different with the rest of the kids, besides maybe Penny.
One does have to suspect that Alchemist interests her on some level; most mortals dont meet her in their lifetime as many times he has. And especially in a non-professional basis.
Alchemist's opinions on Black Canary and her motivations can't really be taken as gospel.
In a portion of the story written from her perspective earlier, it was said that she uses him in sparring to train the others against someone who's mostly a baseline human due to his lack of physical enhancements outside of endurance.
It was also mentioned that his hand to hand is pretty bad. Good for someone with no actual training, but just plain bad against people who actually know what they're doing.
And, finally, neither of them have a positive opinion of each other. His first interaction with her, it seemed like she was being dismissive of him bringing up what he felt was a serious issue.
Her first real interaction with him outside of a screen, he came in prepared for a fight and got one.
That's going to skew the perspective of each others actions, regardless of the actual intent behind them.
Both of them are in the wrong.
Guy Gardner -would- be a fantastic resource, if the Green Lanterns weren't constantly busy and off-world.
I get the idea behind them. I appreciate the idea behind them. But there's just too few lanterns to effectively police the galaxy and it shows.
That's basically the premise behind tons of Green Lantern stories. Not outright, but it's kind of the underlying theme. It's why Sinestro flips to using fear: he knows there aren't enough Green Lanterns to do the job and he knows that there is no way to increase their numbers so he goes for alternative solutions. The fact that it puts him at odds with the Malthusians and the GL Corps is inconsequential to him.
the only thing i remember about that movie was that the zombies had zombies. those fuckers were scary to think about. zombies rot but they rot into super zombies and they use tactics too so good luck. special zombies are a problem but special zombies that spawn when you take to long to kill normal zombies are a whole different problem
That's basically the premise behind tons of Green Lantern stories. Not outright, but it's kind of the underlying theme. It's why Sinestro flips to using fear: he knows there aren't enough Green Lanterns to do the job and he knows that there is no way to increase their numbers so he goes for alternative solutions. The fact that it puts him at odds with the Malthusians and the GL Corps is inconsequential to him.
Alchemist's opinions on Black Canary and her motivations can't really be taken as gospel.
In a portion of the story written from her perspective earlier, it was said that she uses him in sparring to train the others against someone who's mostly a baseline human due to his lack of physical enhancements outside of endurance.
It was also mentioned that his hand to hand is pretty bad. Good for someone with no actual training, but just plain bad against people who actually know what they're doing.
And, finally, neither of them have a positive opinion of each other. His first interaction with her, it seemed like she was being dismissive of him bringing up what he felt was a serious issue.
Her first real interaction with him outside of a screen, he came in prepared for a fight and got one.
That's going to skew the perspective of each others actions, regardless of the actual intent behind them.
Both of them are in the wrong.
Guy Gardner -would- be a fantastic resource, if the Green Lanterns weren't constantly busy and off-world.
I get the idea behind them. I appreciate the idea behind them. But there's just too few lanterns to effectively police the galaxy and it shows.
One more suggestion:
First familiar per person does not occupy party space. Subsequent familiars do, unless you
Fair.
I always had the impression the Guardians had so many human GLs so there'd always be one on or around the planet, given its cosmic significance and reputation as a trouble magnet. But if thas different in this AU, thts alright.
I am of the impression that the relative paucity of Lanterns is a deliberate measure on the part of the Guardians.
Enough Lanterns to prevent outright disasters, but not really enough to impose order, and having to determine what order to impose. Puts them more in the role of emergency workers than beat cops.
Too busy and too few to pull a Sinestro or a Manhunters without a lot of detectable preptime .
They've never had an issue sourcing Lanterns for actual critical issues.
Like how Earth gets four Lanterns(5 if you count Alan Scott, 7 if you count Cruz and Baz, 10 if you count Savenlovich, Sool and Rathbone from that one issue ).
It's because people that are good and great green lanterns are generally people that would be heroes but heroes can also be greedy, rageful, lustful, fearmongers, and every other color. That boy Sinestro is an example of that. Great Green Lantern but an AMAZING Yellow Lantern.
I don't know if it continued into the new-52, but one of the reasons the Lanterns are limited is because the Green light of Will is also a limited resource integral to the continued existence of reality. In the previous reality, the lights of the emotional spectrum were overused in the creation of permanent constructs, pushing the reality deeper into entropy and eventually causing it to collapse, leading to the Big Bang that made the current reality.
I don't know if that's been retconned out, though.
It hadn't taken long for the teams to separate. Alchemist had his own interests, and they didn't align with training a bunch of teenagers on how to actually fight zombies. So long as Player One actually kept up on the Cannibals, this should be a relatively safe expedition for them.
No, Alchemist's interests today involved looting a warehouse sized Do-it-yourself hardware store. Magic would make applying everything pretty easy, but he still needed base materials. And the closer it was to its final needed shape or form, the cheaper it was to transmute.
His end goal? Building a bunker far enough away from civilization that it would be inconvenient for anyone, villain or otherwise without some form of movement power to harass, harangue, beg or otherwise bother him.
He had plans. Not necessarily well thought out plans, but still! And step one was to not be stuck begging for a place to sleep or squatting.
Identity? Check! Money? Now he could write a check! He could get an apartment, he supposed, but he had a feeling that explosions and a curious baby dragon might end up costing him his deposit.
And it'd be kind of hard to explain why he was digging out a mine shaft, lining it in lead and Darksteel only to have it end in a door that went nowhere.
Speaking of, he really needed to meet up with his underground contact. Batman probably knew he'd gone to get a secondary identity... But hopefully he'd keep it to himself.
If Alchemist hadn't been busy thinking to himself while inventorying the entirety of the stores stock of black and white PVC pipes, he might have heard the sound of someone shuffling nearby.
If he'd been paying attention to his surroundings more, he might have noticed he was being watched by someone, or perhaps something, stalking around the shelves.
Maybe, if he hadn't been looting the building wholesale, he'd have noticed he was being hunted before he'd been attacked.
It happened quickly, as these things often do. A quick 'fwip' 'fwip' 'fwip' noise, practically inaudible was very, very quickly followed by Alchemist cursing up a storm.
"Ah, god! Son of a- Christmas tree!" He pulled the objects out of his backside with a quick and painful jerk.
Nails.
Thanks to protect, they hadn't gone deep. Twenty HP a pop wasn't terrible.
Didn't make it hurt any less.
He cast cure on himself, repairing the damage with ease and erasing the debuff before it could pile up.
By default of it being a back attack, he hadn't seen whoever had nailed him in the butt. They hadn't stuck around to announce themselves, either.
Alchemist growled in frustration when he looked and looked, but couldn't find them.
"I will get you." He said to the seemingly empty building. "If you think you can hide, I will burn this entire building down with both of us in it. Do you hear me?!"
'Fwip!'
~~ -20 HP! ~~
"Gah- Again?! Seriously?!"
-----
Batman watched with a critical eye as the team took down a 'Corpsulant', a grotesquely over-large zombie with a bulging abdomen and disproportionately long limbs.
They were doing rather well, all in all. It was clearly stronger and far more durable than a normal human, but the team was making good use of its clumsiness and overall lack of agility.
That it was also a regenerator of some sort was interesting, though the mechanic left quite a lot to be desired. Watching it backhand three members of the team so it could grab a normal zombie and eat it was... Well, he wouldn't be too harsh on the team for backing off from the gory display.
Though as interesting as all of that was, one thing he was keeping an eye on was Player One.
Penny.
The implications of what Alchemist said when he'd been rambling earlier were hardly lost on him.
That this place, this power, was not unique was worrisome. That Alchemist seemed to think it was made to intentionally create people with a casual disregard for life and an incessant hunger for power was troubling in the extreme.
He'd noticed that much of the girls growth was sporadic, occurring in bursts of sudden gains compared to a more natural progression like he'd see in a normal person.
That said however?
She was, it seemed, a normal girl. She spent the majority of her time with Miss Martian and Power Girl. She watched teenage drama shows on television at the base, talked about clothes and shopping or whatever else caught her attention.
Even in here, in this mockery of His City, he could see her hesitate at times. Look at her teammates before going in for a crippling strike or fatal blow.
She wanted their approval and she was afraid of how they would perceive her.
He didn't know if that was because she was, regardless of her powers, a teenage girl... Or she'd seen how much Alchemist had floundered through his own explanations of how his 'Alpha' system worked and simply hadn't wanted to be treated as an outsider.
As a point of fact, the girl showed no real symptoms of psychopathy.
Alchemist, however, seemed to. At least at first. It was one of the key issues Black Canary had expressed. He seemed to have a glib, almost amused dint to his emotions...
On the surface.
When he was caught off guard, or else intentionally exposed himself emotionally, it was fairly different. The mage was aware of his difficulty connecting to people, and it seemed to honestly bother him.
In front of Batman, Aqualad finally managed to use his water conjuration spell in tandem with his Water Bearers to trip the ghoulish beast, letting Player One ram her burning stone greatsword through its eye and ending the battle.
Grisly, messy and terrible. Not something he genuinely wanted the kids to be learning... But somewhere between alien invasions and unquiet dead, this...
This would be necessary. For all of them.
"Good work. All of you." It was a small thing, but praising the team as a group should encourage them to continue honing their skills as a group.
Rather than strictly as independent operators who occasionally worked together.
"Player One, how long does it normally take for you to defeat-" Not kill. Don't say kill. "-one of these Corpsulants?"
"Maybe... Five times as long? I have to be careful to dodge around its swipes and lead it to attack in a way that leaves it open." The girl was futilely trying to wipe the vitreous fluid off the porous stone blade to no avail. Whatever the source of the magical fire, it didn't seem to have any effect on her.
Batman could smell the rotten fluid burning from ten meters away. Easily.
"And you fought these things regularly?" Aqualad asked, struggling to catch his breath after seemingly expending a significant amount of his magic in that last attack.
"These? No. There's a stronger version though. It offered better rewards." The majority of the team didn't quite seem certain how to handle that knowledge. Miss Martian and Power Girl didn't seem surprised, however.
"Alchemist said this is how you got started? Was that true?" Batman nodded almost imperceptibly at Robin's question. The boy should know that verifying that could verify more of what the wizard had said.
Or at least offer those claims more weight.
"Ah, yeah? I'm not really sure how he knows that, since... Well, I guess he kind of just knows a lot about this power. It's kind of weird though, since his is really different." That... Was actually a very good observation on her part.
Similar powers could be expressed very differently, that was true. Superman and Wonder Woman were fantastic examples of that. One was blessed with a divine heritage and the gifts of multiple deities, the other had an alien biology that was above and beyond anything else that Bruce had ever even heard of.
On the surface though? Both had flight, super-strength and super-speed.
"That's... Probably not good." It took a moment for the others to see what Miss Martian meant, helped immensely by her pointing helpfully at what she was looking at.
At a rising plume of smoke in the distance.
"Isn't that where Alchemist went?" Superboy pointed out.
Player One sighed dejectedly as she began walking towards the fire, the rest following her lead.
The poor girl seemed to have some expectation of what she'd find, something else with Alchemist's skewed comprehension behind it.
Bruce, however, would reserve judgement and keep an eye on how Miss Martian handled things. She and J'onn seemed much better able to understand how the magician thought.
-----
"Oh. Hey." Alchemist seemed largely unaffected when the others found him, watching the warehouse burn down from the other end of the block.
He was standing nonchalantly, hands in his pockets and a neutral expression on his face.
Bruce could see the bloodstains throughout his clothing though.
"Alchemist, what happened here?" Aqualad stepped forward, acting in his role as the team leader.
"Yeah, so, I found a spider." A lie. A very obvious lie.
"A... Spider?" Player One asked, falling right into it.
"Yeah, a really big one." He waved at the inferno that, even from a block away they could feel the heat rolling off of it. "So I burned the whole place down."
"You burned down a store, to get rid of a spider?" Robin should have known better, but he was still letting Alchemist get to him.
Miss Martian was silent, but Batman noted that she was rubbing her own arms in places consistent with Alchemist's bloodstains.
"Well, yeah?" The magician shrugged, unconcerned with the lack of belief the others had in him. "Sometimes you just have to make sure."
-----
Meanwhile, just a bit earlier...
Alchemist ripped another set of nails out of his arm and ducked low, sprinting under a now-emptied shelf that once held doorknobs.
He'd caught sight of the zombie attacking him, but the denim-clad monster was clever. It kept ducking and weaving through the aisles and shelves, climbing and dropping to keep out of his sight while they set up more traps and ambush points.
He didn't admire them for it, not when it was something he'd do.
Dropping flat to the ground, he barely avoided getting shot in the face by a handful of steel ball bearings being fired out of a pipe attached to an air compressor.
The valve on it controlled by nothing so complex as a little piece of string.
He inventoried the hastily made potato launcher and got back to work. Every shelf he cleared off, all of the junk he was storing took away more and more cover. A practice he'd normally disagree with, preferring to ambush and disorient enemies himself.
A reflection off of a nearby window pane (Freestanding, for display) saw him juking to the side as another trio of nails shattered the glass. Looking over his shoulder, he just barely caught sight of the zombie disappearing between the shelves again.
Still, he'd gotten a decent glance. He was being attacked by a feminine blonde zombie in denim coveralls... A carpenter?
Hold on. Not A carpenter. The Carpenter.
Jenna Duffy.
And he was in a hardware store. A big one.
Her domain.
Wonderful. What was next, a walrus? ...Probably best to not think like that, he might actually show up.
Alchemist took a deep breath-
~~ Congratulations! ~~
~~ Haste has reached level 13! ~~
-and the world slowed down.
He took the time to actually observe what was going on around him, to try and listen for where she'd be attacking from next.
Sounds were weird, slowed down. And it just kept getting worse the higher the spells level. At least sight didn't suffer the same problems.
He'd looted everything he needed. Pipes, wiring, insulation, loads of fixtures and other materials... He was basically a fully stocked doomsday prepper at this point.
He'd been playing her game of hide and seek.
Well, he was done seeking.
She wasn't visible, whether by game mechanic or skill he didn't know... But he was going to fix that.
He jogged down the aisles, keeping his head on a swivel as he passed by every support pillar for the massive ceiling high shelves. Transmutation pitting them with holes near the base with ease, especially since he had no need to actually touch them now.
'Buh-whip' The sound was a lot deeper, and a lot easier to hear now that it took longer than a fraction of a second.
He actually had time to dodge now, Blink properly working since, being aware of it now, the attack didn't benefit from being a sneak attack.
He brought his rifle out of his inventory... But put it back after he got a good look. The Carpenter was practically out of sight already, he wasn't going to try and shoot at a foot that was quickly going out of his field of view.
A quick hop had him avoiding another tripwire as he continued, covering the distance of the store and avoiding several more ambush attempts.
Definitely a game mechanic. The zombie shouldn't be able to keep up with him otherwise.
'Buh-whip' again, but he didn't make any specific effort to avoid the nails this time.
Rather, he ran at the shelves he'd weakened, ignoring the notice of lost HP. He jumped up after picking up speed, angled so he'd hit at what would honestly be a very painful angle.
And cast Ironize on himself.
-----
It took a moment for him to regain his senses, wedged as he was between bags of sand and concrete powder.
After a second, he simply inventoried them so he could stand up and look at the mess he'd made.
Half the store was a mess of mixed everything all over the floor, shelves knocked over like dominoes from one end to the next.
~~ Enemy Defeated! ~~
~~ The Carpenter X1! ~~
~~ You have gained 500 XP! ~~
~~ You have gained 15000 GP! ~~
~~ Special Perk "The Handyman" has been acquired! ~~
Nice. Awesome. He'd look at that later.
Though that didn't stop him from thinking the experience had been crap.
He dispelled Haste (And reapplied Protect) and was getting ready to leave when he heard clapping coming from the side.
Near the managers office.
The grotesque, balding, fat zombie there was looking at him. Smiling.
"Ooh, very good. The meat is quite clever today!"
A zombie that could talk. That was probably going to be a problem.
Alchemist rolled his neck and spat out some dust and dirt.
"Funny. Is this the part where you offer to kill me quickly if I don't resist?" Alright, what did Alchemist remember about Duffy?
Smart enough, good with her hands. Con-artist? Which was a counterpoint to smart, he supposed. Gambler, he recalled that she took her payday to Vegas... Never quite meshed with the other girls in Gotham.
No, no, that was the end of her arc. How did she begin? Alchemist had a feeling that was how she was connected to the egg-shaped sophist-cum-zombie.
"Oh, no no no! That simply wouldn't do at all! The fear? The pain? Oh-h-h." The filthy creature moaned. "Those are what give meat like you the most delectable flavors!"
Alchemist was so heavily focused on the tub of lard in front of him, he never even noticed the sandbag swinging down at him.
~~ Critical hit! ~~
~~ -2 VP! ~~
~~ -50 HP! ~~
"Oh-hoh! Good show, cousin! Splendid work!" The fat bastard clapped and laughed as Alchemist pulled himself back out of the wreckage of the shelves.
Cousins. Fat. Well-dressed.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
Well now, Alchemist was feeling rather stupid.
Not as stupid as the zombies at least.
The one up in the rafters was easy to spot now, and he wasn't moving with anything resembling the grace or speed of The Carpenter.
This time, Alchemist brought out his Gigant Hydra, cast Carthus Flame Arc on it, and fired.
He dropped to the ground in between Alchemist and whichever cousin had started on the ground floor in a smoking heap.
"No! Cousin! How could you?!" The zombie waddled to the well cooked corpse, tears and snot pouring from its face.
"I mean, I just pointed and pulled the trigger? It wasn't exactly difficult." Right, even as a zombie these guys were Batman villains. They weren't used to being on the other side of the gun.
"And you call us monsters!" The zombie dropped down to its knees, cradling its cousins head in his hands.
"Well, yeah? I mean, you guys- Okay, that's just sick." The 'living' zombies head split open at the jaw, the maw opening wider and wider as it descended on its deceased family member.
Alchemist did try putting a few bullets into it, but it casually ignored them with all of the aplomb of cutscene induced invincibility frames.
"Oh, you cheap bastard!" Tweedle Dee, or maybe Dum, glared at him over his cousins bulk. The two joined grotesquely as one cousins head was down the others gullet, but both were moving again.
Hunched over, with all eight limbs crawling along the ground like some kind of demented centipede, it tried to charge Alchemist.
Who stepped to the side and let it run right past him.
Rather than playing this game again, he simply began pulling gas cans out of his inventory.
He didn't like zombies on a good day. Smart ones even less.
Name: (@**&@%$#%) Leslie Winters
Race: Human
Level: 51
GP: 650000
USD: $250,169,050
Stats-
VP: 7
HP: 1360
MP: 802
-STR: 16
-VIT: 68
-DEX: 7
-AGI: 16
-INT: 107
-WIS: 107
-LUK: 8
Abilities:
-Alchemy
--Transmutation (81)
--Conversion (30)
--Advanced Homonculus Creation (1)
-Divination
--Scrying (12)
-Magical Engineering
--Living Steel Manufacturing and Production (Max)
-Fusion
--Synthesis (28)
Spells:
--Final Fantasy series!
-( FFII )
-Esuna (16 -Max)
-Life (16 -Max)
-Teleport (16 -Max)
-Cure (16 -Max)
-Blink (16 -Max)
-Protect (16 -Max)
-Toad (16 -Max)
-Flare (16 -Max)
-Osmose (16 -Max)
-Break (9)
-Haste (13)
-Berserk (13)
-Shell (15)
-Curse (5)
-Holy (16 -Max)
-( FFXI )
-Dispel (10)
--Dark Souls series!
-Repair (28)
-Twisted Wall of Light (25)
-Hidden Weapon (1)
-Hidden Body (2)
-Cast Light (2)
-Dark Blade (100 -Max)
-Carthus Flame Arc (3)
-Blessed Weapon (100 -Max)
-Lightning Blade (1)
-Crystal Magic Weapon (1)
-Frozen Blade (1)
--Dungeons and Dragons/Pathfinder
-Prestidigitation (36)
-Regenerate (15)
-Dragonkind -Form of the Dragon- (35)
-Create Food and Water (1)
-Create or Destroy Water (5)
-Create Effect -Bind Demiplane- (1)
-Various create item skills removed to save space.
-Shrink Item (5)
-Shadow Evocation (1)
--Dragon Warrior
-Ironize -Kaclang- (2)
Inventory:
-Weapons
--Nagrarok (Atk: 1, Evade +50%, On-hit: Toad)
--Magic Wellness Stick (On-hit: Heal)
--9mm Semi-Automatic Carbine (Nothing special to note)
--Zastava M93 .50 Caliber Long Range Rifle (Nothing special to note)
--Enhancer (Atk: 43, Int: 16)
--Gigant Hydra (Atk: 799, assuming unbugged power booster gives 95% bonus, else 676)
-Equipment
-- Lichbone Pendant (Dark/Negative Damage +100%, Dark/Negative Damage Resistance +50%)
-- Midnight Cowl (Intelligence -10, Wisdom +20, Dark Damage Resistance +75%)
-- Bootyshorts of Evasion (Defence +15, Agility/Dexterity +10, Respect -20)
-- Life Grail (HP regen +200/min)
-- Magic Grail (MP regen +50/min)
-- Clean Undies (Defense +310, status ailment immunity)
-- Missing Sock (Defense +310, Evasion +160)
-Skillbooks
-- Transmutation (read)
-- Scrying (read)
-- Advanced Homonculi by C.Grande (read)
-- De Le Metalica (read)
-- Synthesis: Fusion (read)
-- MP Boost (Failed!)
-- Heward's Handy Handbook of Magical Mysteries (read)
-- The Incredible Incorruptus! Complete blueprints and designs compiled by the fantastic Framboise!
-Consumables
--Nectar X61
--Magic Carrot X77
--Heal Berry X99
-Spellbooks
-(Read spell books have been removed to condense space)
-- Necronomicon X3 (Unread)
-- Shades
-Familiars
-- ??? Dragon Egg
-Miscellaneous
-- Metal Sample "Necrodermis"
-- Metal Sample "Darksteel"
-- Magical Nectarine Pit X2
-- Darksteel Magic Condenser ???%
-- The Journal of Gofard Gaffgarion (Requirements not met!)
Perks:
-Bright Soul (MP regen +50%)
-Shining Soul (MP +50%)
--Combined effect! Magical attunement is now visible!
-Spellboost: Expand (Double spell area of effect OR double spell duration)
-Spellboost: Lock (Persistent spell effects are more difficult to dispel based on level. Mastered spell may be cast permanently until dispelled)
-Spellboost: Pierce (Spells ignore magic resistance. Up to 50% at max level)
-Spellboost: Minimum Powah! (Spells retain potency when multicast. Up to 50% at max level)
-Spellboost: Entangle (Spells may be cast on objects or foes sharing history with the target) -Magically Apprenticed (Spell values are increased by 10%. Spell costs are reduced by 10%)
-Magically A-Practiced (Spell Values are increased by 20%. Spell costs are reduced by 20%)
-Adept Arcanist (Spell Values are increased by 30%. Spell costs are reduced by 30%)
-Wizened Warlock (Spell Values are increased by 40%. Spell costs are reduced by 40%)
-Archmage (Spell Values are increased by 50%. Spell costs are reduced by 50%)
-Hero Of Rime (Ice and Cold based damage and effects +50%, Ice and Cold Damage Resistance +25%)
-Polymind (Maintain human levels of consciousness within animal forms)
-Greatest Wilder (Retain spellcasting capabilities within animal forms)
-Crafter's Luck (25% chance to receive duplicate crafted item)
-Haphephobic (Touch-limited skill and spell have their range extended to 3 meters)
-Sharpshooter? Smartshooter. (Gun damage is based on INT instead of AGI)
--Special Perks
-Briar's Dream (+1HP/MP per minute. +1VP per day.)
-Handyman (Double durability on crafted or repaired items!)
AN/ If I've missed anything, feel free to let me know!
