- Location
- United States
Or the Home Alone 2 scream when the guy is being electrocuted.
Project: Gamer Ver. 2 (Young Justice/Gamer/Multicross OC)
- Thread starter Mister Ficser
- Start date
Lycanthromancer
The Arcane Fuzz
- Location
- USA
in the yarn ball timeline analogy what happens to the ball when the fire is linked???
Typically, when one introduces fire to a ball of rubber, the rubber melts...
Broovian
The Patriarch of Oblivion and all it contains.
- Location
- The cesspool of New York and Loving it!
Sure, solid rubber, like a super bouncy ball. A Ball made of hundreds to thousands of extremely stressed rubber strands? They don't melt, they catch fire and explode.
I think I just found a solution to the problem
View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CHMY4G9gTPA
gotta spin it really fast
How are you going to do it… Beats me
View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CHMY4G9gTPA
gotta spin it really fast
How are you going to do it… Beats me
I'm not sure how different that spell is from the D&D's 9th level spell "Black Blade of Disaster".
While 9th level spells aren't easy to get, he should be able to collect a host of spells if he visits a D&D world like Greyhawk, the continent of Faerun on Abeir-Toril (other areas like Kara-Tur or Maztica might have different spells), Sigil, Krynn, or any place mentioned in Spelljammer, etc Although he should stay far away from Ravenloft. I'm not sure even Terra's power and protection can let him escape from there easily.
MaimakteriAnn
(Verified Sleepy)
- Location
- Enormous And Round Terran Homeworld
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Dr
He should stay away from all the domains of dread tbh.
Blade of disaster is closer to Ruby eyed Blade. Ragna blade has been used to kill the fusion of two entities immediately below overdeity level. Not even usurp them, their divine portfolios just end. So spell level 11+. Actually, to cast it, you need an artefact that gives you access to spell slots of a level mortals can't reach, so yeah 11+.
I don't know much about the Black Blade of Disaster, but Ragna Blade is a spell that literally opens a controlled rift into the sentient primordial chaos outside of reality, shapes it into a sword-ish melee weapon, and un-makes anything you hit with it, from a baked potato to a world-creating/destroying deity, with zero difference in resistance or damage between the two extremes. You don't get a roll, you get a hole.
Well, escaping Ravenloft is a problem, but at least Terra doesn't have a local alternate personification there who can hijack the I.Q. and lock him into doing their bidding, right?
Arthur Hansen
Author of no Authority.
- Location
- Utah, behind the Zion Curtain.
That is, in fact, what is likely to happen.
Broovian
The Patriarch of Oblivion and all it contains.
- Location
- The cesspool of New York and Loving it!
You have the system that governs how you interact with reality hacked one time! Suddenly, everything unexpected is, "The local Primordial Diety must be hacking me, when will stupid Terra-chan get a decent programmer!"
Side note: He wasn't hacked this time apparently. The person who set the quest just edited the requirements in the store page.
Terra-tan does, somewhat, seem to be the spirit of the world. Ravenloft does, somewhat, seem to be a world with a spirit... specifically a spirit that wants to find all the worst stuff, steal it, make it worse, and then never let anything escape. Maybe the best way to escape would be to ruin its toys. Maybe throw some much-needed therapy at the local Lord to help them work through their parents' shadows?
Arthur Hansen
Author of no Authority.
- Location
- Utah, behind the Zion Curtain.
I think there is some hints in the background that Ravenloft is a prison realm run by several major evil deities in the background and probably empowered by some major artifacts.
...this wouldn't happen to be Pike from The Legend of Vox Machina would it?
MaimakteriAnn
(Verified Sleepy)
- Location
- Enormous And Round Terran Homeworld
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Dr
Each of the domains of dread are forever punishments for various beings. Ravenloft is Strahd being punished by playing out the story of his fall over and over. The domains themselves are definitely evil, given the other souls they torture eternally to ensure the specific souls they want get tortured.
Probably? It was an AMV where they'd put 'Holding out for a hero!' from Shrek 2 over some animated D&D stuff. The cleric came down in a bolt of holy lightning to cleave through a giant undead. There was some white haired dude with a revolver, too. And a bard that couldn't play...
So basically any D&D game, ever.
Anywho-
Chapter 134
Project: Gamer Ver. 2 Alpha Build 1.3.4
Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
_________________________________________________________________________
The first real dungeon in Dark Souls 3 started off in the outskirts of a castle town, presumably called Lothric.
Alchemist... Didn't really remember. It had been a few years and a fair few games in between Dark Souls and today. Regardless, he knew the first area was known as the 'High Wall of Lothric'.
"The hollow soldiers here are significantly more aggressive. Them, dogs, knights, a few angels and an infected dragon make up the first leg of the journey." Just outside of where they were warped in was the first bonfire. It didn't light up at Alchemist's touch, but Cremation got it going just fine.
He wasn't a chosen undead then! Just... Undead.
"An infected Dragon?" Kary twisted once they were out the door, returning to her full and proper form. "What disease could infect such a creature?"
"It's called this 'Pus of Man', it... I'm not actually sure. It's implied to be a physical manifestation of the Primordial Abyss, I think, which is where this realities humans were first spawned." Leaning over the edge of a railing, Alchemist waved and then pointed at a handful of shambling figures.
Kary raised a greatsword in one hand, a blade Alchemist had given her. The Bloodskal Blade from Solstheim.
He didn't really have a use for it, personally.
Kary swung the blade with tremendous force and a crimson crescent screamed forth! It decapitated one of the undead which fell over with a hollow 'thunk'.
There wasn't much blood.
Its companions, whom had all gathered around the re-dead corpse, were quickly felled with a loud and explosive 'Bang!' as Flare consumed them.
The spell had reached such potency that he didn't even need to focus on a particular target, the shockwave alone had slain them all.
Holy may have been a better choice, all things considered, but Alchemist specifically wanted to see if the noise would attract the other undead.
Unfortunately, he was quite disappointed.
~~ Enemy Defeated: Hollow Soldier X4 ~~
~~ Experience + 400 ~~
~~ GP + 800 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Titanite Shard X4, Raw Gem X2, Steel Soldier Helm X2~~
Some of the nearby dogs had perked up but they refused to step away from their master, who was sitting inconsolably against a wall.
Alchemist was fine with leaving him alone, he was on a side path so they didn't even need to pass him!
There... Really wasn't much here that he needed to collect, anyway.
"Let's move." Diana said, holding her own sword at the ready. "We'll deal with them as they come!"
So saying, the warrior princess jumped over the railing heading down!
Kary was directly behind her, blades at the ready and a manic grin on her lips!
Alchemist rolled his eyes, checked his gun for a third time and then swiftly headed down after them.
-----
"Hold up!" They'd traversed through a solid segment of the region already, swiftly tearing through maddened foes with simple overwhelming strength!
Now, however, they stood at a doorway with a knight holding a spear on the other side and Alchemist knew there was greater danger waiting.
"It's a lone sentinel." Kary was a bit too big to fit through these doors easily, though that was partially remedied in Alchemist expanding them with Transmutation.
Partially, however. She still had to crawl through the small opening on her hands and knees.
"I'm not worried about him." Alchemist was instead peering through the blocked doorway, trying to gaze up at the sky. "Watch."
The knight stared at them, his eyes blank but for a deep, unending hunger...
Then Alchemist gave him a third eye with his gun.
~~ Enemy Defeated: Lothric Knight (Spear)~~
~~ Experience + 280 ~~
~~ GP + 560 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Lothric Knight Longspear X2, Lothric Knight Greatshield X2, Titanite Shard X2~~
He had his full suit of armor on, so he should be alright.
Still...
Alchemist took a deep breath and jogged out into the open area, passing by a hollow soldier aiming at him with a crossbow.
"Alchemist! Watch-" Diana started to shout but was cut off by a great roar ripping through the air! Overhead, a massive pale dragon flew over, flames pouring from its maw!
Alchemist ignored the notice of defeated enemies and was focused on something else instead.
~~ +72 HP! ~~
The fire breath had healed him, as he'd hoped.
Under his helmet, Alchemist grinned viciously. He looked up to where the dragon had perched, screaming wordlessly.
Mad. Utterly depraved.
The next time it went to open its mouth, flames licking across its tongue, Alchemist put two bullets into it.
"You can't hog all the fun!" Kary shouted at him, squeezing her way through the door. "I'll help!"
"Fine!" And Wonder Woman flew out behind her. "This is sure to be a glorious tale-"
Alchemist put two more bullets into the dragon's mouth.
It screamed. Loudly. Before falling to the courtyard below and dissipating like fog in the sunlight.
"Yes." Alchemist turned to face the two women. "I can, in fact, hog all the fun."
He scrolled past the notices about the hollows that had been slain when the dragon crushed them and-
~~ Enemy Defeated: Wyvern~~
~~ Experience + 3125 ~~
~~ GP + 6250 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Large Titanite Shard X2~~
"Huh." Alchemist mumbled as he headed up the stairs that were formerly guarded. "Looks like I was wrong."
"About what?" Diana asked him, looking over the various corpses strewn about the courtyard they'd entered.
It took Alchemist a solid moment to answer her, focused as he was on a blocked door.
"It wasn't a dragon." Eventually he just snapped his fingers and the door slammed open. "It was a wyvern."
"Ah." And Kary was looking at the door with a very unhappy expression. "That explains why it was so stupid."
"Yep." Alchemist walked through the doorway.
Wonder Woman walked through the doorway.
Kary glared at the doorway.
"This is literally just a treasure room." Alchemist said over his shoulder. "Go back down the stairs and continue forward, you'll find a few knights and the other door."
"More knights?" Kary asked, crouching down to look in. "That I can fight by myself?"
"Yep. Also. Yep." Alchemist pointed down at a literal treasure chest on the bottom floor, where Wonder Woman started towards. "Knock yourself out, we'll wait for you."
"What's the difference between a wyvern and a dragon?" Diana shouted up at him as she descended a ladder.
Like a plebeian.
"Wyverns have two back legs and a pair of wings for their forelimbs." There was something about this room that was setting off Alchemist's senses, but he just could not remember what. "Dragons have four limbs and a pair of wings on their backs. Wyvern's are typically not too bright, but sometimes they're just another form of dragon. It depends, a lot, on which reality you're in. There was this fire dragon named Wagner who was a wyvern, but the earth dragon Belial in that reality was a lindwyrm. Hindel had wings on his arms that didn't go all the way to his back, so I'm not sure about him and Leventhan started off looking like a normal dragon before growing up to be a serpent... Dragons are weird."
He looked down at the ground floor and tried to scratch his head, but hit his helmet instead.
Locked door? Yeah. Ladder? Yep. Treasure Chest? Breathing.
Everything looked righ- Hold up.
"Wonder Woman, wai-!" Alchemist was just a hair too late to warn the woman as a pair of arms tore out of the side of the treasure chest and grabbed on to her! The lid opened, revealing row upon row of crooked, uneven teeth.
Right.
He forgot about the mimic!
-----
"Alchemist?" Wonder Woman was feeling especially unhappy. "I loathe this place."
"Yeah." The man agreed. "That tracks. This whole reality is known for being unpleasant."
The mimic had broken its teeth on her, then she'd broken the mimic. That had been a while back.
Alchemist had offered her one of the 'Deep Axes' that it dropped, a magical weapon that had some kind of foul darkness tainting the edge but she refused. Her sword was more than good enough.
Something about that black weapon... It set her teeth on edge.
"...Are you well?" She'd noticed him acting off since they got here. Distracted and distant the entire time.
"...I will be, with a bit of time. Stressed, worn out, I've got that empty feeling in my chest from being pissed off but not able to do anything. Then I'm also anxious about going back to reality because I'll need to check on the people that Wotan attacked. I also don't know where Wotan went or what they're up to, so that's also stuck in the back of my head." Those were... Fair concerns, honestly.
"That was a bit more than I was expecting." Most men that Diana had dealt with were unwilling to be so candid about how they felt.
There was a brief scuffle with a group of would-be assassins inside of a round tower before she and Alchemist pushed through a locked door to an elevator leading down.
"...Right, sorry. Hang on a second." Alchemist cleared his throat a few times, phlegm breaking up audibly before he said- "Che, I'm like, totes fine babe. You're just imagining things!"
He turned his head to look at her and she could almost imagine him plastering a fake smile on his face under the helmet.
"Is that better?" That was a genuine question? He seriously wanted to know if she'd actually preferred the non-answer over his actual response?
Diana inhaled deeply and thought on the question for a moment as someone new came into view. A man in skeletal armor holding a broad sword, a deep sense of malice wafting off of him.
"I preferred your first answer, actually." She really had. It had been an honest answer, one that offered insight into his character.
The second one had just been... Worthless posturing.
"Got it." Alchemist threw a knife at the evil thing pretending to be human in front of them. It raised its sword and charged, but Alchemist just stepped back and reactivated the elevator.
Diana leaned forward over the edge of the unsecured platform and watched the monster run right into the hole in the floor.
After a few seconds-
~~ Enemy Defeated: Darkwraith~~
~~ Experience + 3125 ~~
~~ GP + 6250 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Dark Sword X2, Dark Mask X2, Dark Armor X2, Dark Leggings X2, Dark Gauntlets X2, Cracked Red Eye Orb X8, Pale Tongue X2~~
"Alright." Alchemist mumbled as he looked at the menu. "What the hell is going on? I know the drop rate isn't that good. And my luck definitely isn't that high..."
Diana let him mumble to himself for a moment, debating what needed to be said, to be asked.
"Why would you think I wanted to hear the second answer you made up?" She'd actually gotten that sort of answer a lot, from a lot of different people. Alchemist was just the most obviously fake.
"A lot of people don't like admitting to any kind of perceived weakness. A lot of people don't like having that kind of openness shared with them. The way you responded is similar to how a lot of people say 'That was too much, tone it down'." That... Was honestly the first time she'd gotten a real answer to that question.
Most people she asked would just shrug and look confused, maybe give her an answer somewhere along the lines of 'That's just how it is'.
She let that thought stew for a bit as Alchemist let someone named 'Grey Rat' out of a cage and told them to go back to the Firelink Shrine.
The two of them made their way out of the tower and headed up, to another sword embedded in a vessel that Alchemist lit aflame. The entire time they were also getting notifications regarding Kar'Yashlan massacring her way through scores of enemies.
They'd gotten a significant number of suits of armor, swords, spears, a handful of different gems though she wasn't sure what the significance of 'Dark', 'Sharp', 'Heavy' or 'Blessed' gems were supposed to be.
Alchemist seemed to think they'd be important at least.
"Alchemist?" Diana finally got a solid feel for what she wanted to ask. "Kary seems to be quite infatuated with you. Do you have any plans on returning her feelings?"
"...I don't know." The man responded after a moment of thought.
The two of them had crested a roof and the great demoness was in sight. Covered in nicks and cuts but wearing a broad, satisfied smile.
"It's rather simple, isn't it?" The women of Themyscira loved deeply. They had to, after countless long centuries of youth.
Everything shallow had already been done.
"It is." Alchemist admitted simply. "And it isn't. Mind if I see your lasso for a second?"
Then he went and made it complicated.
"The Lasso of Hestia is a great and powerful artifact, not a toy." She warned, even as she handed it over.
He wrapped the golden rope around his wrist. Something of a feat, given that the lasso would force a person to be true to themselves.
That aspect, more than actually being bound, was what tended to incapacitate people.
"The last person I let in so deeply killed me and I'm terrified of trying again." He was looking directly into her eyes, Diana was sure of it. He had to be with the simple force of that statement.
She dumbly accepted the rope when he handed it to her and could do little more than stare at his back while he continued walking forward.
Walking forward with a bounce in his step and a jaunty wave toward the demoness, gaily waving back at him.
Well, she had to give it to him.
His reason was simple, even if it really wasn't.
-----
"I've saved the strongest of the beasts for you!" Kary shouted as soon as Alchemist and Diana were close enough to hear her. "It's been centuries since I've had such fun!"
"That's... Kind of you?" Diana sounded uncertain.
Alchemist just snorted and shook his head. Wonder Woman turned a curious eye on him and Kary just grinned even wider.
"Kindness for the sake of it isn't beyond a demon... At least, not one that's been elevated as high as Kary is." Alchemist knew Diana had dealt with infernal abominations in the past... And that her experience was likely very limited to fiends at the very top and very bottom of the pecking order. "But if there can be an ulterior motive? There is one."
"Aww, you can't go and spill all of my secrets... Unless you share one with me, too!" Kary flirted with him shamelessly.
Considering the state of her toga, her secrets were practically spilling out as it was.
"And what kind of motive would she have? She outright told us she left the strongest of these hollows for us." Diana didn't seem to see it, and Alchemist understood. If Kary were being deceptive, why would she admit to leaving the strongest enemy alive?
"I'm guessing she left the strongest enemy for -me-." Alchemist turned his head from Diana to Kary, one gaining a look of comprehension whilst the other just smiled down at him. "As for secrets? I have a minor phobia of teddy bears."
"Oh~h. Clever? Or maybe just, hmm... Experienced. Yes." The way the woman sauntered around Alchemist and placed her hands on his shoulders was decidedly serpentine. He was especially glad for the concealing nature of the armor, he knew his back had gone ramrod stiff at the unexpected contact. "The mage from before was a surprise. An unwelcome one, he attacked us when we'd already expended ourselves. When you were already spent and tired."
She let go and stepped around him, her warriors grace offering the simple motions a surprising amount of sensuality.
"I've cleared the way for you. I want to see how you perform, now that you're at your best." Her smile shifted slightly, the curve of her lips sharpened and the focus of her gaze intensified. "You've a gift for violence, I can feel it! I want to see it!"
...Well, at least Alchemist was back in familiar territory.
"Fine then." A Marilith was a demon of power. Of strength. They weren't seductresses... Just violence in a vaguely feminine shape.
He was guessing that a lot of her behaviors had been picked up second hand as she'd grown and developed after forming. A measure of adaptability that the rank and file of demons typically lacked.
...He really needed to put together a packet for the Little League on Demons and Devils and the differences between them.
Stepping down the stairs leading to a portcullis, Alchemist mentally reviewed his options.
It had been a while since he'd used his shotgun. It didn't have any Materia slots, being a perfectly mundane shotgun, but for this?
He wouldn't need any.
He stepped through the gate and looked up, closing his menus whilst loading the weapon and casting Abundant Ammunition. He was practically as the gate on the other side of the room when he felt the air grow cold.
"I'd suggest stepping back." Wonder Woman likely didn't need any warnings. Kary, however, was a child of fire.
And the monster that crawled out of the rift in reality, Vordt of the Boreal Valley, carried within him the frigid chill of Ice. The man, or at least the remains of a man, walked forward on all four limbs. A heavy greathammer held in a deathgrip in his left hand.
That would have to go.
The armored knight stretched out its neck like some sad mockery of a bear or a wolf and howled, the air growing steadily colder!
With a sound like thunder, Alchemist just put a slug in the madmans head.
It didn't kill him. Vordt was already long-dead and long since corrupted by madness. The bullet had simply hurt him instead.
Vordt lunged at Alchemist's position, ice trailing his bloated body and hammer ready to strike!
He hit nothing. Alchemist had teleported up and into the air, landing on the Outrider Knight! His free hand latched on to the fluting on the back of his armor.
[Steal]! Alchemist did not say, or shout, but the skill activated none the less! The greathammer Vordt had carried disappearing into Alchemist's inventory in a flash of nothingness.
The knight stopped, freezing up momentarily as it tried to comprehend what had happened. It leaned up on its knees, both hands held in front of its face as though it would miraculously discover where its hammer had disappeared to.
Alchemist, still hanging on to the knights back, made good use of the opportunity.
[Double Cut] let him slam two more slugs right into the back of Vordt's massive, misshapen skull.
Vordt shook himself like a dog, flinging Alchemist off of him and howling like a beast! The air grew colder as a magical chill surrounded the banished madman! He turned once more to face Alchemist, all too grim and silent, and lunged!
Alchemist, however, simply stood his ground as Vordt slammed face first into a Wall of Force. He instead cast Dispel on his gun, breaking the transmutation spell he'd placed earlier and worked the pump until all of the shells had been pushed out.
Vordt slowly walked around to the side, trying to find the edge of the invisible wall in front of him while Alchemist loaded bright-red shells into the magazine. Neither of them took their eyes off the other.
As he found the end of the wall, Vordt lunged once more! ...And found himself slamming face-first into the Wall of Force, back in his original position. Teleported right back to where he'd started.
Vordt fell to the ground, stunned, and Alchemist teleported himself directly in front of the poor beast. It tried to stand up, but found the barrel of Alchemist's gun fed directly into the hole he'd made in Vordt's helmet with the very first slug.
Alchemist pulled the trigger...
And Vordt's existence ended in Hellfire.
~~ Boss Defeated: Vordt of the Boreal Valley~~
~~ Experience + 3750 ~~
~~ GP + 7500 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Soul of Boreal Valley Vordt X2~~
~~ Special Weapon Obtained? ~~
~~ Vordt's Great Hammer ~~
~~ Attack: Physical 176
Scales with Strength (C Rank), Frost Buildup +110.
Additional Effect: Heavy Stance- Increase Poise and reduce interruptions ~~
-----
Kary had loved watching Alchemist fight. It may have been short, but it had been brutal and showed a solid measure of battlefield control.
Robbing the man-beast of its weapon? If the man wasn't painfully pragmatic she'd have assumed he meant it as an insult!
Sadly, he'd called their journey done for the day after that battle. Diana, Alchemist and herself had all gone back to the quaint little shrine sitting in the heart of the chaos.
Diana had gone back into Alchemist's personal realm, it seemed the woman was still immature enough that she required sustenance.
Kar'Yashlan didn't really recall if she'd ever needed such a triviality.
Alchemist, however, had gone directly to the smith Andre. Even just talking with the stout, muscular man she could see him getting notifications.
~~ Congratulations! ~~
~~ Skill: Smithing has leveled up! ~~
The blacksmith didn't stop hammering away at the estoc in his hands until Alchemist actually bought something, a box, from some kind of menu.
An Armorer's Workbox?
Kar'Yashlan was sure that would be important... But her mind was on something else.
~~ Enemy Defeated: Cathedral Evangelist ~~
~~ Experience + 475 ~~
~~ GP + 950 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Spiked Mace X2, Titanite Shard X2, Blessed Gem X2~~
She'd been getting notifications near constantly about something or other dying... That she wasn't involved with!
Something odd was going on... And the way Alchemist flinched just before she got a notification? She was certain he was involved.
Still... He was actually working on something. Talking to the smith and tinkering with tools and the various suits of armor they'd won, buying and using materials to grind out a skill.
It wasn't a direction she would have pursued for power, but she understood all the same. Her blades, after all, were fantastic force multipliers... Especially the one he'd gifted her!
A silver blade that fired great crescents of blood-red energy at distant targets? It was so delightfully thoughtful!
Kary set that thought aside with a grin and headed upstairs, her form audibly and visibly shrinking with every step. She would talk with the god-daughter and hear her thoughts.
Alchemist's realm... It was a curious little place. Perhaps forty meters square? It was well lit in perpetual starlight and had grass growing underfoot. A pair of buildings sat within easy walking distance of each other, identical in most respects except for the contents.
The one directly in front of the entrance had a handful of those soft resting shelves mortals so enjoyed, along with a variety of other amenities. 'Shower' and 'Stove' and 'Fridge'.
Kary did appreciate the couch, however. It had ample room for her miniature form and Alchemist claimed that it served multiple purposes of convenience.
Sleeping still seemed like such a waste for her. Even after countless hundreds of years she struggled to understand why mortals spent anywhere from one quarter to almost half of their lives doing nothing!
Even the demons of Sloth would choose to partake in it!
The other cabin, the one she was not going to at the moment, was filled with tools lining the walls and a handful of workbenches. In the very center of the building was a small but well insulated forge.
Alchemist had shown that to both of the ladies with him, showing how he'd used magic to produce the flame. That brilliant white fire of his... It was mesmerizing.
He'd said they had free reign of the facilities so long as they cleaned up after themselves. Such a simple request for access to such equipment.
"Diana?" The inside of the residence was sparsely furnished, made to be used rather than enjoyed. Kary approved wholeheartedly.
"Wha- Kary- Hang on!" Diana for example was sitting at the bar on a stool and trying to eat something. She hit herself in the chest a few times and then visibly swallowed before grabbing a glass of water. "Sorry, you startled me and I swallowed wrong."
"Alright?" How, exactly, a person swallowed 'Wrong' she had no idea. Then again, Kary had never really tried the whole 'eating' thing, either. "I wish to speak with you."
"I... Figured as much." Diana was coughing as she spoke, choking down more water when she finished. "What do you need?"
~~ Enemy Defeated?: Demon ~~
~~ Experience + 6250 ~~
~~ GP + 12500 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Fire Gem X2~~
"That." Kary waved at the quickly fading window. "I wish to speak with you about that."
"Yes, that has been rather odd." Diana set down her eating tools and put a finger on the window, halting its transition to invisibility. "I've been seeing them since shortly after we got back."
"Yes. That." Kary had actually reached level sixty-one thanks to that, where she'd been stuck at fifty-five for literal millennia. "How is Alchemist doing that?"
"He's in the shrine, isn't he? Though... No, that wouldn't work. He has a potion that can create a duplicate, but the one time I saw it, it seemed particularly fragile." Diana trailed off in thought, occasionally clearing her throat.
Kary, however, had thought of something far different.
If Alchemist had a means of duplicating himself, how many could he make? Just the one? Perhaps more? Enough, even...
To hold all of her hands?
Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
_________________________________________________________________________
The first real dungeon in Dark Souls 3 started off in the outskirts of a castle town, presumably called Lothric.
Alchemist... Didn't really remember. It had been a few years and a fair few games in between Dark Souls and today. Regardless, he knew the first area was known as the 'High Wall of Lothric'.
"The hollow soldiers here are significantly more aggressive. Them, dogs, knights, a few angels and an infected dragon make up the first leg of the journey." Just outside of where they were warped in was the first bonfire. It didn't light up at Alchemist's touch, but Cremation got it going just fine.
He wasn't a chosen undead then! Just... Undead.
"An infected Dragon?" Kary twisted once they were out the door, returning to her full and proper form. "What disease could infect such a creature?"
"It's called this 'Pus of Man', it... I'm not actually sure. It's implied to be a physical manifestation of the Primordial Abyss, I think, which is where this realities humans were first spawned." Leaning over the edge of a railing, Alchemist waved and then pointed at a handful of shambling figures.
Kary raised a greatsword in one hand, a blade Alchemist had given her. The Bloodskal Blade from Solstheim.
He didn't really have a use for it, personally.
Kary swung the blade with tremendous force and a crimson crescent screamed forth! It decapitated one of the undead which fell over with a hollow 'thunk'.
There wasn't much blood.
Its companions, whom had all gathered around the re-dead corpse, were quickly felled with a loud and explosive 'Bang!' as Flare consumed them.
The spell had reached such potency that he didn't even need to focus on a particular target, the shockwave alone had slain them all.
Holy may have been a better choice, all things considered, but Alchemist specifically wanted to see if the noise would attract the other undead.
Unfortunately, he was quite disappointed.
~~ Enemy Defeated: Hollow Soldier X4 ~~
~~ Experience + 400 ~~
~~ GP + 800 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Titanite Shard X4, Raw Gem X2, Steel Soldier Helm X2~~
Some of the nearby dogs had perked up but they refused to step away from their master, who was sitting inconsolably against a wall.
Alchemist was fine with leaving him alone, he was on a side path so they didn't even need to pass him!
There... Really wasn't much here that he needed to collect, anyway.
"Let's move." Diana said, holding her own sword at the ready. "We'll deal with them as they come!"
So saying, the warrior princess jumped over the railing heading down!
Kary was directly behind her, blades at the ready and a manic grin on her lips!
Alchemist rolled his eyes, checked his gun for a third time and then swiftly headed down after them.
-----
"Hold up!" They'd traversed through a solid segment of the region already, swiftly tearing through maddened foes with simple overwhelming strength!
Now, however, they stood at a doorway with a knight holding a spear on the other side and Alchemist knew there was greater danger waiting.
"It's a lone sentinel." Kary was a bit too big to fit through these doors easily, though that was partially remedied in Alchemist expanding them with Transmutation.
Partially, however. She still had to crawl through the small opening on her hands and knees.
"I'm not worried about him." Alchemist was instead peering through the blocked doorway, trying to gaze up at the sky. "Watch."
The knight stared at them, his eyes blank but for a deep, unending hunger...
Then Alchemist gave him a third eye with his gun.
~~ Enemy Defeated: Lothric Knight (Spear)~~
~~ Experience + 280 ~~
~~ GP + 560 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Lothric Knight Longspear X2, Lothric Knight Greatshield X2, Titanite Shard X2~~
He had his full suit of armor on, so he should be alright.
Still...
Alchemist took a deep breath and jogged out into the open area, passing by a hollow soldier aiming at him with a crossbow.
"Alchemist! Watch-" Diana started to shout but was cut off by a great roar ripping through the air! Overhead, a massive pale dragon flew over, flames pouring from its maw!
Alchemist ignored the notice of defeated enemies and was focused on something else instead.
~~ +72 HP! ~~
The fire breath had healed him, as he'd hoped.
Under his helmet, Alchemist grinned viciously. He looked up to where the dragon had perched, screaming wordlessly.
Mad. Utterly depraved.
The next time it went to open its mouth, flames licking across its tongue, Alchemist put two bullets into it.
"You can't hog all the fun!" Kary shouted at him, squeezing her way through the door. "I'll help!"
"Fine!" And Wonder Woman flew out behind her. "This is sure to be a glorious tale-"
Alchemist put two more bullets into the dragon's mouth.
It screamed. Loudly. Before falling to the courtyard below and dissipating like fog in the sunlight.
"Yes." Alchemist turned to face the two women. "I can, in fact, hog all the fun."
He scrolled past the notices about the hollows that had been slain when the dragon crushed them and-
~~ Enemy Defeated: Wyvern~~
~~ Experience + 3125 ~~
~~ GP + 6250 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Large Titanite Shard X2~~
"Huh." Alchemist mumbled as he headed up the stairs that were formerly guarded. "Looks like I was wrong."
"About what?" Diana asked him, looking over the various corpses strewn about the courtyard they'd entered.
It took Alchemist a solid moment to answer her, focused as he was on a blocked door.
"It wasn't a dragon." Eventually he just snapped his fingers and the door slammed open. "It was a wyvern."
"Ah." And Kary was looking at the door with a very unhappy expression. "That explains why it was so stupid."
"Yep." Alchemist walked through the doorway.
Wonder Woman walked through the doorway.
Kary glared at the doorway.
"This is literally just a treasure room." Alchemist said over his shoulder. "Go back down the stairs and continue forward, you'll find a few knights and the other door."
"More knights?" Kary asked, crouching down to look in. "That I can fight by myself?"
"Yep. Also. Yep." Alchemist pointed down at a literal treasure chest on the bottom floor, where Wonder Woman started towards. "Knock yourself out, we'll wait for you."
"What's the difference between a wyvern and a dragon?" Diana shouted up at him as she descended a ladder.
Like a plebeian.
"Wyverns have two back legs and a pair of wings for their forelimbs." There was something about this room that was setting off Alchemist's senses, but he just could not remember what. "Dragons have four limbs and a pair of wings on their backs. Wyvern's are typically not too bright, but sometimes they're just another form of dragon. It depends, a lot, on which reality you're in. There was this fire dragon named Wagner who was a wyvern, but the earth dragon Belial in that reality was a lindwyrm. Hindel had wings on his arms that didn't go all the way to his back, so I'm not sure about him and Leventhan started off looking like a normal dragon before growing up to be a serpent... Dragons are weird."
He looked down at the ground floor and tried to scratch his head, but hit his helmet instead.
Locked door? Yeah. Ladder? Yep. Treasure Chest? Breathing.
Everything looked righ- Hold up.
"Wonder Woman, wai-!" Alchemist was just a hair too late to warn the woman as a pair of arms tore out of the side of the treasure chest and grabbed on to her! The lid opened, revealing row upon row of crooked, uneven teeth.
Right.
He forgot about the mimic!
-----
"Alchemist?" Wonder Woman was feeling especially unhappy. "I loathe this place."
"Yeah." The man agreed. "That tracks. This whole reality is known for being unpleasant."
The mimic had broken its teeth on her, then she'd broken the mimic. That had been a while back.
Alchemist had offered her one of the 'Deep Axes' that it dropped, a magical weapon that had some kind of foul darkness tainting the edge but she refused. Her sword was more than good enough.
Something about that black weapon... It set her teeth on edge.
"...Are you well?" She'd noticed him acting off since they got here. Distracted and distant the entire time.
"...I will be, with a bit of time. Stressed, worn out, I've got that empty feeling in my chest from being pissed off but not able to do anything. Then I'm also anxious about going back to reality because I'll need to check on the people that Wotan attacked. I also don't know where Wotan went or what they're up to, so that's also stuck in the back of my head." Those were... Fair concerns, honestly.
"That was a bit more than I was expecting." Most men that Diana had dealt with were unwilling to be so candid about how they felt.
There was a brief scuffle with a group of would-be assassins inside of a round tower before she and Alchemist pushed through a locked door to an elevator leading down.
"...Right, sorry. Hang on a second." Alchemist cleared his throat a few times, phlegm breaking up audibly before he said- "Che, I'm like, totes fine babe. You're just imagining things!"
He turned his head to look at her and she could almost imagine him plastering a fake smile on his face under the helmet.
"Is that better?" That was a genuine question? He seriously wanted to know if she'd actually preferred the non-answer over his actual response?
Diana inhaled deeply and thought on the question for a moment as someone new came into view. A man in skeletal armor holding a broad sword, a deep sense of malice wafting off of him.
"I preferred your first answer, actually." She really had. It had been an honest answer, one that offered insight into his character.
The second one had just been... Worthless posturing.
"Got it." Alchemist threw a knife at the evil thing pretending to be human in front of them. It raised its sword and charged, but Alchemist just stepped back and reactivated the elevator.
Diana leaned forward over the edge of the unsecured platform and watched the monster run right into the hole in the floor.
After a few seconds-
~~ Enemy Defeated: Darkwraith~~
~~ Experience + 3125 ~~
~~ GP + 6250 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Dark Sword X2, Dark Mask X2, Dark Armor X2, Dark Leggings X2, Dark Gauntlets X2, Cracked Red Eye Orb X8, Pale Tongue X2~~
"Alright." Alchemist mumbled as he looked at the menu. "What the hell is going on? I know the drop rate isn't that good. And my luck definitely isn't that high..."
Diana let him mumble to himself for a moment, debating what needed to be said, to be asked.
"Why would you think I wanted to hear the second answer you made up?" She'd actually gotten that sort of answer a lot, from a lot of different people. Alchemist was just the most obviously fake.
"A lot of people don't like admitting to any kind of perceived weakness. A lot of people don't like having that kind of openness shared with them. The way you responded is similar to how a lot of people say 'That was too much, tone it down'." That... Was honestly the first time she'd gotten a real answer to that question.
Most people she asked would just shrug and look confused, maybe give her an answer somewhere along the lines of 'That's just how it is'.
She let that thought stew for a bit as Alchemist let someone named 'Grey Rat' out of a cage and told them to go back to the Firelink Shrine.
The two of them made their way out of the tower and headed up, to another sword embedded in a vessel that Alchemist lit aflame. The entire time they were also getting notifications regarding Kar'Yashlan massacring her way through scores of enemies.
They'd gotten a significant number of suits of armor, swords, spears, a handful of different gems though she wasn't sure what the significance of 'Dark', 'Sharp', 'Heavy' or 'Blessed' gems were supposed to be.
Alchemist seemed to think they'd be important at least.
"Alchemist?" Diana finally got a solid feel for what she wanted to ask. "Kary seems to be quite infatuated with you. Do you have any plans on returning her feelings?"
"...I don't know." The man responded after a moment of thought.
The two of them had crested a roof and the great demoness was in sight. Covered in nicks and cuts but wearing a broad, satisfied smile.
"It's rather simple, isn't it?" The women of Themyscira loved deeply. They had to, after countless long centuries of youth.
Everything shallow had already been done.
"It is." Alchemist admitted simply. "And it isn't. Mind if I see your lasso for a second?"
Then he went and made it complicated.
"The Lasso of Hestia is a great and powerful artifact, not a toy." She warned, even as she handed it over.
He wrapped the golden rope around his wrist. Something of a feat, given that the lasso would force a person to be true to themselves.
That aspect, more than actually being bound, was what tended to incapacitate people.
"The last person I let in so deeply killed me and I'm terrified of trying again." He was looking directly into her eyes, Diana was sure of it. He had to be with the simple force of that statement.
She dumbly accepted the rope when he handed it to her and could do little more than stare at his back while he continued walking forward.
Walking forward with a bounce in his step and a jaunty wave toward the demoness, gaily waving back at him.
Well, she had to give it to him.
His reason was simple, even if it really wasn't.
-----
"I've saved the strongest of the beasts for you!" Kary shouted as soon as Alchemist and Diana were close enough to hear her. "It's been centuries since I've had such fun!"
"That's... Kind of you?" Diana sounded uncertain.
Alchemist just snorted and shook his head. Wonder Woman turned a curious eye on him and Kary just grinned even wider.
"Kindness for the sake of it isn't beyond a demon... At least, not one that's been elevated as high as Kary is." Alchemist knew Diana had dealt with infernal abominations in the past... And that her experience was likely very limited to fiends at the very top and very bottom of the pecking order. "But if there can be an ulterior motive? There is one."
"Aww, you can't go and spill all of my secrets... Unless you share one with me, too!" Kary flirted with him shamelessly.
Considering the state of her toga, her secrets were practically spilling out as it was.
"And what kind of motive would she have? She outright told us she left the strongest of these hollows for us." Diana didn't seem to see it, and Alchemist understood. If Kary were being deceptive, why would she admit to leaving the strongest enemy alive?
"I'm guessing she left the strongest enemy for -me-." Alchemist turned his head from Diana to Kary, one gaining a look of comprehension whilst the other just smiled down at him. "As for secrets? I have a minor phobia of teddy bears."
"Oh~h. Clever? Or maybe just, hmm... Experienced. Yes." The way the woman sauntered around Alchemist and placed her hands on his shoulders was decidedly serpentine. He was especially glad for the concealing nature of the armor, he knew his back had gone ramrod stiff at the unexpected contact. "The mage from before was a surprise. An unwelcome one, he attacked us when we'd already expended ourselves. When you were already spent and tired."
She let go and stepped around him, her warriors grace offering the simple motions a surprising amount of sensuality.
"I've cleared the way for you. I want to see how you perform, now that you're at your best." Her smile shifted slightly, the curve of her lips sharpened and the focus of her gaze intensified. "You've a gift for violence, I can feel it! I want to see it!"
...Well, at least Alchemist was back in familiar territory.
"Fine then." A Marilith was a demon of power. Of strength. They weren't seductresses... Just violence in a vaguely feminine shape.
He was guessing that a lot of her behaviors had been picked up second hand as she'd grown and developed after forming. A measure of adaptability that the rank and file of demons typically lacked.
...He really needed to put together a packet for the Little League on Demons and Devils and the differences between them.
Stepping down the stairs leading to a portcullis, Alchemist mentally reviewed his options.
It had been a while since he'd used his shotgun. It didn't have any Materia slots, being a perfectly mundane shotgun, but for this?
He wouldn't need any.
He stepped through the gate and looked up, closing his menus whilst loading the weapon and casting Abundant Ammunition. He was practically as the gate on the other side of the room when he felt the air grow cold.
"I'd suggest stepping back." Wonder Woman likely didn't need any warnings. Kary, however, was a child of fire.
And the monster that crawled out of the rift in reality, Vordt of the Boreal Valley, carried within him the frigid chill of Ice. The man, or at least the remains of a man, walked forward on all four limbs. A heavy greathammer held in a deathgrip in his left hand.
That would have to go.
The armored knight stretched out its neck like some sad mockery of a bear or a wolf and howled, the air growing steadily colder!
With a sound like thunder, Alchemist just put a slug in the madmans head.
It didn't kill him. Vordt was already long-dead and long since corrupted by madness. The bullet had simply hurt him instead.
Vordt lunged at Alchemist's position, ice trailing his bloated body and hammer ready to strike!
He hit nothing. Alchemist had teleported up and into the air, landing on the Outrider Knight! His free hand latched on to the fluting on the back of his armor.
[Steal]! Alchemist did not say, or shout, but the skill activated none the less! The greathammer Vordt had carried disappearing into Alchemist's inventory in a flash of nothingness.
The knight stopped, freezing up momentarily as it tried to comprehend what had happened. It leaned up on its knees, both hands held in front of its face as though it would miraculously discover where its hammer had disappeared to.
Alchemist, still hanging on to the knights back, made good use of the opportunity.
[Double Cut] let him slam two more slugs right into the back of Vordt's massive, misshapen skull.
Vordt shook himself like a dog, flinging Alchemist off of him and howling like a beast! The air grew colder as a magical chill surrounded the banished madman! He turned once more to face Alchemist, all too grim and silent, and lunged!
Alchemist, however, simply stood his ground as Vordt slammed face first into a Wall of Force. He instead cast Dispel on his gun, breaking the transmutation spell he'd placed earlier and worked the pump until all of the shells had been pushed out.
Vordt slowly walked around to the side, trying to find the edge of the invisible wall in front of him while Alchemist loaded bright-red shells into the magazine. Neither of them took their eyes off the other.
As he found the end of the wall, Vordt lunged once more! ...And found himself slamming face-first into the Wall of Force, back in his original position. Teleported right back to where he'd started.
Vordt fell to the ground, stunned, and Alchemist teleported himself directly in front of the poor beast. It tried to stand up, but found the barrel of Alchemist's gun fed directly into the hole he'd made in Vordt's helmet with the very first slug.
Alchemist pulled the trigger...
And Vordt's existence ended in Hellfire.
~~ Boss Defeated: Vordt of the Boreal Valley~~
~~ Experience + 3750 ~~
~~ GP + 7500 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Soul of Boreal Valley Vordt X2~~
~~ Special Weapon Obtained? ~~
~~ Vordt's Great Hammer ~~
~~ Attack: Physical 176
Scales with Strength (C Rank), Frost Buildup +110.
Additional Effect: Heavy Stance- Increase Poise and reduce interruptions ~~
-----
Kary had loved watching Alchemist fight. It may have been short, but it had been brutal and showed a solid measure of battlefield control.
Robbing the man-beast of its weapon? If the man wasn't painfully pragmatic she'd have assumed he meant it as an insult!
Sadly, he'd called their journey done for the day after that battle. Diana, Alchemist and herself had all gone back to the quaint little shrine sitting in the heart of the chaos.
Diana had gone back into Alchemist's personal realm, it seemed the woman was still immature enough that she required sustenance.
Kar'Yashlan didn't really recall if she'd ever needed such a triviality.
Alchemist, however, had gone directly to the smith Andre. Even just talking with the stout, muscular man she could see him getting notifications.
~~ Congratulations! ~~
~~ Skill: Smithing has leveled up! ~~
The blacksmith didn't stop hammering away at the estoc in his hands until Alchemist actually bought something, a box, from some kind of menu.
An Armorer's Workbox?
Kar'Yashlan was sure that would be important... But her mind was on something else.
~~ Enemy Defeated: Cathedral Evangelist ~~
~~ Experience + 475 ~~
~~ GP + 950 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Spiked Mace X2, Titanite Shard X2, Blessed Gem X2~~
She'd been getting notifications near constantly about something or other dying... That she wasn't involved with!
Something odd was going on... And the way Alchemist flinched just before she got a notification? She was certain he was involved.
Still... He was actually working on something. Talking to the smith and tinkering with tools and the various suits of armor they'd won, buying and using materials to grind out a skill.
It wasn't a direction she would have pursued for power, but she understood all the same. Her blades, after all, were fantastic force multipliers... Especially the one he'd gifted her!
A silver blade that fired great crescents of blood-red energy at distant targets? It was so delightfully thoughtful!
Kary set that thought aside with a grin and headed upstairs, her form audibly and visibly shrinking with every step. She would talk with the god-daughter and hear her thoughts.
Alchemist's realm... It was a curious little place. Perhaps forty meters square? It was well lit in perpetual starlight and had grass growing underfoot. A pair of buildings sat within easy walking distance of each other, identical in most respects except for the contents.
The one directly in front of the entrance had a handful of those soft resting shelves mortals so enjoyed, along with a variety of other amenities. 'Shower' and 'Stove' and 'Fridge'.
Kary did appreciate the couch, however. It had ample room for her miniature form and Alchemist claimed that it served multiple purposes of convenience.
Sleeping still seemed like such a waste for her. Even after countless hundreds of years she struggled to understand why mortals spent anywhere from one quarter to almost half of their lives doing nothing!
Even the demons of Sloth would choose to partake in it!
The other cabin, the one she was not going to at the moment, was filled with tools lining the walls and a handful of workbenches. In the very center of the building was a small but well insulated forge.
Alchemist had shown that to both of the ladies with him, showing how he'd used magic to produce the flame. That brilliant white fire of his... It was mesmerizing.
He'd said they had free reign of the facilities so long as they cleaned up after themselves. Such a simple request for access to such equipment.
"Diana?" The inside of the residence was sparsely furnished, made to be used rather than enjoyed. Kary approved wholeheartedly.
"Wha- Kary- Hang on!" Diana for example was sitting at the bar on a stool and trying to eat something. She hit herself in the chest a few times and then visibly swallowed before grabbing a glass of water. "Sorry, you startled me and I swallowed wrong."
"Alright?" How, exactly, a person swallowed 'Wrong' she had no idea. Then again, Kary had never really tried the whole 'eating' thing, either. "I wish to speak with you."
"I... Figured as much." Diana was coughing as she spoke, choking down more water when she finished. "What do you need?"
~~ Enemy Defeated?: Demon ~~
~~ Experience + 6250 ~~
~~ GP + 12500 ~~
~~ Obtained Items: Fire Gem X2~~
"That." Kary waved at the quickly fading window. "I wish to speak with you about that."
"Yes, that has been rather odd." Diana set down her eating tools and put a finger on the window, halting its transition to invisibility. "I've been seeing them since shortly after we got back."
"Yes. That." Kary had actually reached level sixty-one thanks to that, where she'd been stuck at fifty-five for literal millennia. "How is Alchemist doing that?"
"He's in the shrine, isn't he? Though... No, that wouldn't work. He has a potion that can create a duplicate, but the one time I saw it, it seemed particularly fragile." Diana trailed off in thought, occasionally clearing her throat.
Kary, however, had thought of something far different.
If Alchemist had a means of duplicating himself, how many could he make? Just the one? Perhaps more? Enough, even...
To hold all of her hands?
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
- Location
- United States
Kary is not a demon of strength! She is a demon of lust!!
Not even Slaanesh is as depraved as Kary!
- Location
- Brazil
Now I can't help but imagine alchemist going to warhammer 40k or warhammer fantasy.
- Location
- U.S.
And there he makes 4 great friends, a brutal but honest red berserker knight, a lusty pink garbbed adrogynous bard, a wiley blue robed magician, and a stinky green stained alchemist. He wonders how they are doing after going on a adventure with them that power leveled them all up ridiculously.
- Location
- United states
I don't think AL is that absent minded.
Alchemist: So, Batman, I have good news and other news.
Batman: You mean bad news?
Alchemist: That's such a negative way of looking at things.
Batman: It's bad news.
Alchemist: I brought back some very hardy and very replicable technology.
Batman: Is that the good news?
Alchemist: Maybe? I also brought back some new friends.
Batman: I don't see anyone.
Alchemist: Oh, don't worry. That's completely normal.
Batman: Alchemist... What did you do this time?
Alchemist: I made some new friends, they really liked my guns. Like, -really- liked my guns. So I brought a few back.
Batman: The guns?
Alchemist: No, my friends.
Batman: I don't see anyone.
Alchemist: I told you, that's completely normal. Nobody ever sees the Purple Orcs.