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Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
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Jinx may have been awed by how shiny and bright and wonderful everything was, but it didn't blind her.
For however much Alchemist was having fun with her, he was also constantly preoccupied. He'd still throw one-hundred percent into the games they were playing, or pay attention when there was a play on. They'd both tried a lot of new foods, things she'd never heard of before.
Like right now! It was the end of the 'Day' (Though that was hard to tell, with no natural light inside the Gold Saucer to be found) and they were at the food court for dinner. There were all kinds of different places offering stuff like 'Down home Corel style cooking' to 'Kalm Fried Chocobo', or liquor from 'The misty heights of Modeoheim!'. Today though, today they were eating at a Wutain restaurant that offered something called a Hot-Pot.
He was filling out the menu for them, apparently they had these disposable paper cards where you just circled things, but he was only paying half of his attention to it.
Jinx waited until a waiter took the card before she cast a spell she'd recently picked up.
Silent Table. It muffled the sounds coming from inside a sphere of space, but didn't stop the people inside of it from hearing what was going on outside.
Alchemist, staring into space, seemed to fully come to when he felt the magic wash over the area. His eyes landed on hers in a confused gaze.
"It's just a privacy spell, don't worry." She told him, getting a nod in response. "I just... I've noticed there's something on your mind and I've been trying to think about how to ask."
"...Yeah, suppose I haven't been hiding it too well." He leaned forward, putting both of his arms on the table. A table that had a couple of knobs on it and a big hole in the middle. "I got a quest, back almost a week ago. This worlds iteration of Gaia sent it as an emergency quest. I've been kind of busy using Bilocation to try and explore, figure out where things are, what all I need to do."
"Oh." Well, that kind of killed the hype. He'd shown her his quest list in the past, and it was mostly filled with failed quests called 'Win a sparring match with: X', though he'd actually won one against Superboy. He hadn't told her how he'd done it, though, and she didn't ask. "What do you need to do?"
Before he could answer, a tray was wheeled out to their table, it had one large soup pot on it, which the attendant set into the hole in the middle of the table, then they put a few more trays on the table in front of Alchemist and her. All different kinds of sliced meat, raw (Eugh) fish and beef and chocobo, as well as vegetables. A lot of vegetables. Leafy greens, bean sprouts, mushrooms...
"I don't know how aware this Gaia is." Alchemist admitted to her as he started adjusting the knobs and Jinx could hear a flame kick on under the pot of soup. "The spirit of this world is injured, sick and the people are actively drawing out her blood to burn for power. All the quest said was 'Help Me'. The problem of course, is that I don't know how much help she needs."
Once the pot started to bubble, Alchemist began putting meat into it. Jinx mimicked him after watching for a few moments.
"That sounds like it's really big." And it sounded like it was going to ruin her vacation... Still, the way Alchemist had explained his power, the System, the source it came from... A crippled, dying aspect of Gaia might be a pretty big deal. "What are we going to do about it?"
"I've been using Bilocation to be in two places at once pretty much since we got here." Alchemist admitted to her as he began putting vegetables in the pot. "I've just kept that up at night, too. I've been staying up an extra hour and sending myself out in dragon form, since it blends into the night sky, to get an idea where everything is. Between it and teleport, I can cover a lot of distance for the twenty-ish minutes I've got until the spell ends and I have to pick which one of me stays behind to recast it."
And here she'd just been having fun and playing games and- Wait, no, she wasn't going to feel guilty for it! He'd admitted he was doing the same thing! "Why didn't you tell me about the Quest sooner?"
"I've been having fun." She knew it! "And there's some stuff here that's rare and difficult to get, sure, but almost impossible to find outside of the Saucer. Also just been having fun working on some of my magic. Like using True Strike to get a perfect score in the basketball game, it's hilarious watching people complain about how it's impossible."
He started ladling food out of the pot and into a bowl as he continued speaking. "We've got a few months until events here start spiraling out of control, and I've been working on ideas for how to get a head start on the problems. I... Need to get an eighth level spell, though. And level it up to permanency. And that's just for one issue. If I wanted to be shortsighted, I could just slash and burn my way through everything, but that'll cause more problems than even I can imagine."
Ugh, she did not look forward to being an adult. Actually needing to be aware of 'consequences' sounded so difficult!
"Alright, so two more questions? What are the problems that you -can- imagine? And what spell do you need to get?" She tried a piece of red meat, gray now, with some vegetables and- Oh! That was actually really good!
"Well, civil unrest, rioting, fear. Also joblessness, more homeless, hunger and dysentery if I just go destroying the reactors bleeding the planet dry. Throwing the world back into the dark ages with a handful of 'civilized' settlements would be pretty damned evil." Okay. Yeah. She could see why he might be hesitating there. "I've got options, people that I can probably convince to change things. Maybe. I'll see what I can do after dealing with the more immediate problems at least."
"As to the spell? It's called 'Polymorph Any Object'. Kind of a mouthful, but it'll work on living things whereas my current skills only work on objects." He popped some of the food into his mouth and started chewing.
"What do you need to polymorph?" High level spells got into the range of playing god, and she knew he hesitated at those kinds of potential responsibilities.
"When a planet in this reality dies, it bundles up all of its life energy into a single entity called 'Omega WEAPON' and ships it off to another planet to start the whole process over again." She nodded, confused at the sudden change in topics. "Well, I don't know if it's a failed WEAPON or just a different evolutionary path, but there's something here that's trying to parasitize the planet instead of just starting fresh. Some jackass here decided to take the a-mortal flesh of this thing and stick it in a bunch of other people, which is a problem. And killing it outright doesn't really work since its 'Spirit' will just use that as another avenue to try and infect the world."
Alchemist put down his utensils and scratched the back of his neck with his left hand.
"So that. I'm going to polymorph that. Assuming I can. Otherwise I'll have to figure something else out."
-----
A few days later, and Jinx was helping Alchemist clean up a handful of injuries he'd received in the Battle Square.
Yes, he could heal them himself, but Alchemist hadn't been kidding when he'd said Dio would try to have him go back into the coliseum. Getting hurt in those kinds of fights, Alchemist had explained, was just as much part of the show as winning was.
Still, Alchemist hadn't done it for free. He'd gotten the man to hand over a copy of the Materia on offer there for 'Putting on a good show and really drawing in the crowds!'. He'd had Alchemist go for twelve rounds, back to back. The final battle had been against some massive turtle the man called 'Long Gui', and Alchemist had pulled out his full suit of armor for the fight.
Jinx had been in the crowds during the fight, she'd heard them roaring in approval when Alchemist had dropped his gun and spear and just Jumped up to pummel the thing. They'd called the match when he'd ripped off a chunk of the turtle's shell (She'd noticed he placed it in his inventory) and tried to crawl inside to start hurting it there.
Dio had given him the magical stones with a smile on his face and said Alchemist should ask for something a little more expensive next time. So now they had a yellow Materia called W-Summon, a blue Materia called Final Attack and three purple Materia. A Speed Plus, a Pre-Emptive and an Enemy Lure.
Alchemist had also gotten a lot of points, like, a lot of points. He'd used them to buy a book called 'Omnislash' which he said he couldn't use, then on the opposite end of the scale he'd bought a handful of leafy greens called Mimmet Greens.
He had told Dio that, next time around, he'd make him eat his words about calling Alchemist cheap. The man had just grinned and laughed, said he'd be looking forward to it.
(Jinx was unaware that Dio operated a sort of pay-per-view for the fights. The amount of money he'd raked in by hyping up the battle really did make Alchemist's demands into chump-change.)
She was interrupted from applying more rubbing alcohol to a series of scratches on his back by several slow knocks on the door and a groaned "Room... Service."
"That's probably for me." Alchemist stood up and went to the door, shirtless. He opened it, and there was a truly massive man on the other side. Jinx guessed he was almost seven feet tall! His skin was pale and clammy, and he was covered in stitches.
She couldn't tell if they were cosmetic or not.
He had a pile of boxes in his hands, seven or eight of them. Most were small, but the one on the bottom absolutely was not.
"Fantastic, thank you!" Alchemist took them all from the man's hands and set them on the floor next to the door.
The giant ghoul continued to stand at the door, his mouth ajar and dark eyes blearily focused on Alchemist. "...Ti-ip?" He groaned after a few uncomfortable seconds.
She watched Alchemist palm a one-thousand gil card in his hand and reach out to the ghoul at the door, a grin on his lips. "Here you go, it's a tip from October of Nineteen-Ninety; Talk to Everyone."
Rather than respond, the ghoul just turned and walked away. Alchemist simply closed the door and locked it afterwards.
"What is all of that?" Jinx asked him, going over to help unpack the boxes.
"My online purchases. Mostly accessories, some materia, found an online trading site for common Materia, too. Stupidest thing, can't find a Steal Materia at any official stores because everyone that wants one, already has one. Can't find a Steal-As-Well Materia at all, which is less surprising than it should be. Wutai is all about screaming about their honor as they stab people in the back. Frickin' princess robbing the people trying to stop the end of the world. Braindead ass..." And Alchemist settled into some unintelligeble grumbling as they continued opening boxes.
She probably ought to get the full story out of him some time, but she was a bit preoccupied at the moment.
Two pairs of gloves, some rings, amulets... A pair of Japanese samurai helmets? Then a bunch of little things, like a little sword keychain with a neon-glowing blade that was cycling through different colors, a few different kinds of wristbands and even a weird little bullseye necklace.
There were also two purple Materia orbs, one green orb and a yellow one.
"So, what is all of this?" Jinx asked once it was all laid out on his bed.
"This." Alchemist picked up a ring, and then fused it into an amulet. "Is how I get around things like 'Random Number Generator' garbage."
He then fused the modified amulet into a watch, though this time he also got the amulet and an unmodified watch back. The watch was then fused into an earring he'd pulled from his inventory. He got nothing back that time.
Then that earring was fused into a pair of gloves. Those, he got two pairs of gloves out of.
"Huh." Alchemist muttered, holding both sets of thin, dexterous gloves in hand. "I was planning on doing this twice, but that worked out. Here."
He handed one pair to her, and, not knowing what any of what he'd just done was supposed to do, she put it in the inventory.
~~Brigand's Gloves (Modified)~~
~~Description~~
"Thin black gloves meant for stealthy, dexterous movements. A friend to thieves and pickpockets everywhere."
~~ Experience +100%, Currency drops +100%, Items looted/stolen from enemies are guaranteed to be rare (if possible), steal attempts have a 100% success rate, looted items are multiplied X2, Luck +35 ~~
Jinx inhaled heavily at that description. He didn't just get around the experience issue, he'd blown it out of the water!
"Go ahead and check the helmet. I think you'll like that." He smiled at her, even as he was messing with his gauntlets, working the leather gloves out of them so he could fit the Brigand's Gloves in instead.
Her eyes went wide when she saw the effects on the helmet.
Zero MP cost!
She had to remind herself to breathe!
And then Alchemist took the other helmet and fused it into a common silver ring. No duplicates, on either end. He repeated the process two more times, though, until he was holding a pair of silver bands in his hands. One of which he gave to her while he put the other one on himself.
He slotted one of the purple materia (Dualcast) into his demi-gauntlets, as well as the Steal materia and clenched his fists, adjusting to the new feel.
"I think..." Jinx twisted the ring on her own hand, on her left ring finger. "I think we're probably good to go at your Polymorph challenge, aren't we?"
The kind of power offered at zero mp cost? With Dualcast? There was a light, almost bouncy feeling inside of her chest. It almost felt like she should be laughing but she didn't know if she'd stop if she started.
"Maybe." Alchemist looked a lot less certain. "The quest requires we challenge the God of Transformations. It doesn't say what the challenge is."
Alchemist cast Heal on himself, the ugly bruises and scratches disappearing in an instant with a pained hiss, then slipped his shirt back on. Apparently, his native regeneration didn't fix what was basically cosmetic damage.
"We can certainly try, but if need be I can figure out some alternatives. This is just the best solution -I- can think of." He inventoried everything left on the bed, then opened up his menu. "Are you ready?"
Jinx nodded eagerly.
Alchemist pressed the button.
Jinx was not, in fact, ready.
-----
"Poyo!" Were the first words Jinx heard in the subquest inside of a subquest.
Then the world was slowly colored in, and she saw a tiny little pink ball. With big, bright cartoon-ish eyes and little red shoes! He had a pair of flippers coming out of his sides!
(How did she know it was a he?)
Her ring was whispering into her brain, it told her the creature in front of her had an unknown number of hit points and that his name was-
"Hi there, Kirby!" Alchemist leaned down and extended his hand, the little pink ball of chewing gum reaching up to shake it. "I guess you're the one hosting the challenges today, then?"
Jinx didn't understand why, but the longer she looked at Kirby, the more fake everything else felt. The world around them, a happy little clearing at the edge of a village full of round dome houses, looked more and more cartoonish with every second.
The colors were brighter, the sky was bluer, the clouds were smiling down at her... Jinx held her hand up in front of her face, and there was a second image interposed over it. One where she was wearing tight sleeves down her arm with black and purple stripes, where her fingerprints had been smoothed and flattened out.
Where... Where...
"Jinx! Jinx, look at me?!" Alchemist waved his hand in front of her face, snapping his fingers and pulling her out of her fugue state. "You alright, back with me?"
"...What?" It took her a second to find her tongue. "What was that? Everything looked... Different. Less... Real?"
"...Congratulations, Jinx. You just got to see your very first outer god." Alchemist said as he leaned forward, looking at her eyes with a kind of uncomfortable scrutiny. "Well, you seem alright. Let's go, he's going to show us to the 'Challenge'."
"Wait-wait-wait!" She ran to reach his side. "What the heck do you mean by 'Outer God'!"
"Kirby?" Alchemist waved at the bouncing ball of bubblegum in front of them. "He's like one of three parts of a major god. Chill little guy, loves food, has an entire universe hidden inside of him and can punch up with Superman."
Sensing that he was being talked about, said little deity turned around, bounced in the air and said 'Poyo!' at them cheerfully.
Jinx felt well and fully confused. And maybe a little bit scared.
She glanced to the side, but Alchemist seemed wholly unconcerned.
Walking into the little town the god-chunk Kirby called home, Jinx saw a lot of other weirdly shaped people. Oval like bodies, flipper arms, very simple faces... Honestly, it was starting to kind of creep her out.
Alchemist, now that she actually looked at him, was also feeling pretty uncomfortable. His left hand was clenched into a tight fist, and he was hunched just slightly forward.
He was just trying to keep her from freaking out and... It kind of helped.
And being told that the little pink orb could possibly fight Superman did a really solid job of taking a pin to the confidence she'd had for thinking unlimited magic was the same as being powerful.
She swallowed heavily as they followed the little pink blob further into the town and thought about how Alchemist acted. His constant warnings, his attempts at finding more and stronger defensive magics.
Just how it must feel to live knowing there's always a bigger fish, and that fish is always hungry...
"Buck up, Jinx. Smile!" Alchemist must have seen her souring mood. "Kirby's a friendly little guy and he loves to have fun! Look! I think I already know what the challenge is going to be."
How the heck was he smiling, knowing what the thing leading them around is? ...Maybe... Maybe she was looking at it wrong? He'd told her what Kirby was, yeah... But he'd also told her -who- he was.
A little pink ball of fluff that liked to have fun and make friends.
As Alchemist stepped forward and away from her side, a casual smile on his lips as he started talking to one of the weird people here, this one dressed like a chef... She realized, that really was what he was doing. He was interacting with the people here based on who they were, rather than what they were.
Jinx quelled the tremor in her heart and accepted that, yes, it really was that simple sometimes.
Alchemist was lined up alongside eight other people, donning a chef's apron, when Kirby spun around and-
Swallowed the lead chef like a vacuum!
An instant later he spat the man back out, but now Kirby was wearing a chef's hat and holding a frying pan.
The chef who'd been eaten quickly got back up, though there were definitely some tremors running through him, and began his announcement.
"My fellow residents of Dream Land! I am pleased to announce that a special event is happening today, and today only!" People were gathering around them, eager to see what was going on. "A special cooking challenge, set up for our own town hero, Kirby! Of course, it wouldn't be any fun if it was just Kirby doing all the work, right fellas?"
There was a cheer going through the crowd that had very quickly gathered. Either they really loved Kirby, or they were very, very bored.
"We have all of our hometown favorites competing, and a very special guest! A monster from beyond the stars, a demon from the darkest depths, the crazy cook himself...! Bob!"
Alchemist stepped forward and waved.
Jinx... Dropped her head and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Of course he did. Of course. And the only person who even knew he was doing something so silly was her.
She hadn't even been recording!
-----
Jinx had watched in fascination as people cooked. Sauteeing foods, sprinkling seasoning, roasting and grilling and baking! Alchemist had done his best to keep up, but he'd ended up losing.
Badly.
Like, seventh out of ten badly.
There had been this big blue penguin who had flown down and thrown a fit about not being invited, then he'd gotten into an eating competition with the little pink eldritch abomination.
She'd seen someone get eaten. Just... Swallowed whole. They were spat out, just fine, but still...
"Well..." Jinx tried to console Alchemist. "I mean, at least it wasn't last place?"
Last place had been a little girl with a blue haircut. She'd produced something that was literally toxic, and then got upset when it was disqualified.
Alchemist just adjusted the little ribbon they'd given him, pinned on to his shirt.
"True enough." He agreed with her, honestly less bothered than she expected.
"Poyo!" A voice spoke up from around their waists. Jinx looked down to see Kirby looking up at them, a smile on his round little face.
"Hey buddy." Alchemist crouched down so they were level. "Congrats on the win! That grilled fish of yours was really good!"
It really had been. Jinx had barely managed to snag a bite before the little guy had sucked everything up though. The grilled steak Alchemist had made was pretty good, but the fish had just been -Perfect-.
"Poyo..." Kirby had his little flippers in front of him, nervously poking them together. Jinx wasn't sure what he was trying to say...
But Alchemist reached over and put a hand on the little guys head, an easy smile on his face. "You won fair and square, little guy. I'm not gonna be upset about that."
Alchemist had opened his system, the big menu telling him he'd failed the instant quest right in his face. He'd just have to click 'Okay' and they'd be sent back to her instant quest.
Jinx was about to grab Alchemist's shoulder when she felt Kirby tugging at her pant leg. He was looking up at them, smiling and holding out a scroll!
"Is that for us?" Jinx asked him, reaching out to grab it.
"Poyo-poyo!" The little gumball nodded at her, pushing the scroll out to her.
She took it in hand, more confused than anything else. Alchemist had lost, hadn't he? Why was Kirby handing over the prize he'd been aiming for?
"Thanks, little guy." Alchemist held out his fist, and Kirby bumped it with his flipper. "I don't know if I can help out much, but if you think you need me, go ahead and call, okay?"
Kirby pulled his flipper around in a salute, a serious look on his face. "Po-Yo!"
Jinx set her hand on Alchemist's shoulder and he pressed 'Okay' on his screen. The world turned black for a second before they were dropped right back where they'd left.
Right back when they'd left.
"...Dammit." Alchemist muttered, opening the scroll Jinx had handed to him.
She thought for a moment there was something wrong...
"I should've asked for the recipe to that fish!"
-----
Alchemist had himself seated in the stands around the arena, almost a week after they'd gotten the scroll from Kirby.
What had even happened with his afterlife that he could actually make sense of that?
And he was watching Jinx do her best to fight against monsters. She was doing pretty well, too. It had taken a bit of work, but they'd eventually figured she worked best with small pistols. They were easy for her to aim quickly, and she kept a knife in reach of her off hand in case anything got too close.
Though the girl could dance, cartwheel and vault with some of the best of them. So anything that got too close ended up being on the wrong side of the girl and eating a few bullets in the spine. She had advanced acrobatics on her side.
Alchemist, in contrast, had unlocked a Jump skill as part of being a Dragoon...
He was still waiting on a response from Terra about that, actually. He didn't have a problem with the class itself, exactly, but from what he remembered it was supposed to be a sort of advanced class, not a first class.
Still, it was a movement ability and it didn't require magic.
Back to Jinx, however, Alchemist had his Shinra brand smartphone out and specifically not recording. The normal, Waynetech one in his shirt pocket, the camera just poking out, however, was doing the recording for him.
If Shinra didn't have malware in their phones, then Alchemist was a happy-go-lucky idiot who really believed they just wanted to sell energy instead of weapons.
The paranoia, while well-warranted, forgot the rather key factor that Dio made a significant amount of money by broadcasting the fights.
Alchemist exhaled and locked his eyes back on Jinx.
She'd taken his training suggestion to heart and trained up her True Strike on the basketball game. Was it cheating? Absolutely. Did they care? No. Not at all. She got to master the spell, and buy the materia they'd come in here for! Multiple goals in one task!
With functionally unlimited MP, he'd shotgunned mastering the new spell. Polymorph Any Object was basically the freedom to be anything, or anyone. All the way down to the genetic level... Provided he had a decently large sample of material to work with. There were just too many small, critical parts for him to actively remember while he used the spell, he'd discovered. It did have a small workaround, he could 'Scan' something with the spell briefly and then he had a window where he could use the scanned data to modify another object wholesale.
It gave him roughly half an hour before the various details started slipping out of his head.
And, unfortunately, magic still considered the polymorphed object to still be the original, even if transformed with Lock. Though at least then it wouldn't revert back to its former form if destroyed. He could still Convert it afterwards, and that -did- count as the new material though. He'd bought a small piece of painite off the Game Shop to experiment with, though now he had a two-hundred carat rock of it in his inventory.
He had been forced to modify his plans a bit, but that was why he tried to keep them relatively simple and with as few moving parts as possible. It kept him from getting completely locked up over a minor snag.
Alchemist turned his head only briefly when a large man, Dio, sat down next to him.
"That girl down there." Dio started after a moment of watching Jinx dodge around a tonberry's knife, just to steal the weapon out of its hand. "Daughter?"
"Sister." Alchemist answered for him, wholly unconcerned with the lack of similarities between them.
"If you say so. Your sister. She's pretty rough." That was very true. Alchemist had trained her as best he could with static targets and with keeping a very healthy distance from the things that would try to kill her. "Good instincts, though."
"Thanks." Was that a compliment? Alchemist actually couldn't tell. "Her first time getting in melee range, figured this was the safest bet."
"...Kid? Your technique is shit." Alright. Ouch. Dio was hitting him where it hurt today. "You're a surgeon with that rifle, but the way you handle that spear? And if you didn't hit like a gigas, I'd put you in the kiddie round with those fists."
The very, very exposed body builder shook his head. "I can tell you're self trained, so it's impressive for what it is."
Jinx put four bullets into the side of the tonberry, finally dropping the evil little bugger. She held her fists up into the air, screaming into the crowd!
And she still had its knife.
"Though, that ain't what I'm here to talk about." Finally! Alchemist didn't mind holding a conversation, but Dio was a businessman and he'd prefer it if they got down to the brass tacks. "People were real excited for that match o' yours last week. Not often we get someone going into the extended rounds. Built up a reputation in a few circles."
"You've got a good hype team." Alchemist said towards the man, acknowledging his hand in it.
"Only the best." Dio seemed to appreciate that he wasn't talking to a total idiot. Just a sometimes idiot. "Shinra has a request for me. That means they have a request for you. Tried to sell me on some story about making a cover for one of their Turks, but I don't think you really care for the details, do you?"
"I can guess." Alchemist really could. "You want me to do a double bracket or something else like that. Either I meet him at the end and lose, or we do some kind of team battle and the two of us fight at the end. And I lose."
Dio actually laughed at how blase the sorcerer sounded as he said all of that.
"Pretty much." The bodybuilder agreed. "Some Rude fellow, they're trying to build up his rep as a muscle before they send him in to some budding crime lord's den. Corneo or something. Honestly, I don't need to know the details. Do you?"
"Nah." Alchemist agreed, watching Jinx try to figure out how to take down a massive worm. "Just need to know one thing. That Fenrir Type-A, on the prize list, she still up for grabs?"
"The bike? Holy, kid, you weren't kidding when you said you weren't gonna work cheap... Hell, screw it!" The man chuckled, a quiet thing compared to his usual boisterous laughter. "Shinra's footin' the bill anyway!"
"Probably won't even notice the cost." Alchemist commented idly, starting to stand up once Jinx was kicked out of the ring.
"Probably not. Be ready in the morning." Were Dio's last words to him as he departed.
Alchemist didn't show that he'd heard him, simply continuing to walk down to the ring.
He needed to tell Jinx the plan started tomorrow.
-----
Rude, Knuckles for the moment, rolled his head about to loosen his neck.
The Gold Saucer arena wasn't really on his to-do list, but they had orders. He was supposed to find candidates for SOLDIER, and whoever it was that Dio had been hyping up? The guy was -good-.
Not in the traditional sense, his martial arts had so many holes in 'em that Reno could drive through without hitting any walls...
But the way the guy used materia? Word was, Genesis wanted him. Something bad.
Like, taking him on as an apprentice kind of bad.
And that was what Rude was here to determine. If he'd be worth the effort to 'Recruit', and what they were willing to do to make it happen.
Rude stepped out of the hallway, dressed in just a pair of sweatpants and a wifebeater, a pair of brass knuckles on his hands. The other man, Alec, was standing in the middle of the arena already. In a full suit of polished black platemail, a rifle on his back and a spear planted firmly against the ground in front of him.
Was that gun a hydra? With a long cerberus tri-barrel? That thing had to be absurdly heavy! Rude wasn't an expert on firearms like some of the Turks, but he was no idiot.
The team had figured the man for a heavy, but that was a bit much outside of Shinra. Or some of the monsters Wutai had been fielding near the end!
No, no, the ethnicity was wrong. He'd been in a handful of pay-per-view fights, and they'd seen him out of the armor in about half. He looked like he might've been from Nibelheim, maybe a bit further north. Pale skin, oval face, short curly brown hair. Nothing about that said Wutai.
"You ready for this?" Alec asked him, his head tilted down just a little bit.
'This' was a team match, a series of fights against whatever Dio could find to throw at them.
Rude simply nodded. His eyes, hidden behind his shades, were serious.
Alec nodded back to him. He raised his spear without flourish into a ready position and bent his knees.
"La-la-la-ladies and gentlemen!" Dio's voice erupted over the speakers, firing up the crowd. "You've all been waiting for something special, and tonight we're proud to deliver!"
"You've all seen him making mincemeat of the monsters, he's the master of mayhem and magic! He's amazing, he's astounding, here from the lands above and beyond, we have the amazing Alec!" Alec, in response, raised his spear up high and did a slow turn, pumping his arms for the crowd.
"And joining him today folks, we've got a newcomer to the ring! Midgar born and raised-" The crowd started booing. "He makes his living as a chef, and he only knows how to serve up five fingers of death! Give it up for Knuckles!"
Rude raised one arm up in the air, his fist raised.
The crowd was mostly silent for him, except for one pink-haired girl in the stands, sitting between a pair of dogs and cheering away.
Well... Rude supposed it was something.
"Alright folks. Let's be kind to the newcomer! In fact, we got a little something just for him! Some call them an ugly little Hodgepodge, but word is they make a great Hedgehog Pie! Watch out either way, I hear they make 'em spicy!" Several cages along the walls raised up, releasing their contents into the battlefield.
Large, round, frog-like creatures bounced forward. Their red skin glistening, the stench of mako and smoke rolling off of them.
Rude crouched, putting his arms up in a boxing stance. Alec... Just started walking towards the brown-skinned king. His left hand held out, almost like he was treating the creature like a scared dog.
"Well, this is a new one on me folks! Looks like Alec thinks he can-" The Hodgepodge King had bounced forward, its teeth bared and magic crackling around it. And the man in armor...
Backhanded it. Hard.
The monster slammed into the wall and slid down in a broken heap. Dead.
"-take them on with one hand tied behind his back! What a brutal display!" Rude swallowed slowly and tensed his legs. That wasn't what he'd been expecting.
At least, when he'd taken down the beast of a man, Azul, the guy had looked as strong as he actually was.
He was starting to have doubts about this plan...
-----
Seven rounds later, and Rude was dead on his feet. Alec, in contrast, was still breathing easily.
They'd just finished dealing with a Malboro Menace, a massive blue mass of eye-stalks around a giant, poison filled mouth of teeth and misery.
Rude had to strafe around the monster, trying to avoid the rancid gasses it filled the arena with.
Alec? Had shown an unprecedented mastery of Fire Materia and created a small, sustained tongue of flame burning white-hot. He'd held it out in front of him, burning through the gasses as he casually walked up to the beast...
And crammed the flame down the Malboro's throat, holding the spell until the beast stopped thrashing and spewing poison.
That had definitely cemented Rude's choice. The man may not have been terribly impressive at hand to hand, his spearwork was shaky at best, but what the man could do with Materia?
The Turks had hacked the cameras to watch the SOLDIER Firsts train, and he knew that not even Genesis, the undisputed master of Materia manipulation, could pull off a sustained spell.
"That was amazing! That was stupendous! I've never seen anything quite like it!" Dio shouted over the speakers, the crowd screaming in a fever pitch. "That was the final monster, the final round... Or was it!?"
This... Rude was not looking forward to this part.
"You know the rules people and so do I! We can only have one champion and- What's this?!" Dio sounded shocked, and Rude was too.
Alec was removing his armor.
He pulled off his helmet, and his face was slicked with sweat, his hair plastered against his head and-
He had Mako eyes!
No- Rude pulled his shades off to look closer. -His eyes were glowing yellow, and mako glowed various shades of green and blue. He didn't know what, if anything, yellow might have meant.
He'd just be sure to include it in his report.
In short order, Alec was standing across from him. Down to just a pair of sweatpants and a lightly padded long sleeve shirt that was blue and gold. An Action, or something? Rude wasn't sure, he didn't know the names for all the different parts of a suit of armor.
"It is!" Dio exclaimed once Alec was fully unarmored. "You don't see fair play too often these days folks. Mark this down, people! Was this a good choice, or the biggest mistake Alec had made today? Fighters, are you ready?! Then let's get ready to rumble!"
Alec stepped forward, his hand outstretched and open.
Rude understood. He stepped forward and clasped his hand together with the other mans.
He wasn't expecting to get pulled over, though. When Alec was right next to his ear, he whispered something to the Turk. Something that made his blood run cold.
"Tell Verdot that there's still a bit of Felicia left in Elfe."
No context, and he didn't give the Turk time to ask him any questions before he backed away and took up his position across from him. His hands raised in a rough boxer's pose.
Rude didn't give the other man the chance to start off on the offensive. He'd seen what happened when Alec controlled the pace of a fight. What he lacked in martial skill, he made up for in brutal efficiency.
Rude slammed his fist through a hastily put up guard, his knuckles brushing against the edge of the other mans face- Then ducked under a swipe that would've slammed into his cheek.
Rude swept his leg out, hooking it behind Alec's knee and pulled! The man stumbled, but didn't fall- It was enough, though! Rude launched himself back up, his right hand wrapped around Alec's neck, his right leg swept around and behind Alec's knee and he pushed!
This time, Alec went down, and it was all downhill for him from there.
-----
Alchemist was waiting for Jinx in the Chocobo Square, not too long after he got done fixing his face. Rude hadn't even offered an apology for trying to flatten his nose!
At least the jerk lived up to his name.
Alchemist didn't have to wait long before Jinx was bouncing her way up the stairs, Ash and Cinder safely back in the Demi-plane.
"You get everything?" He asked, once she was all the way up the stairs.
"Yep!" She chirped at him. "Prizes are packed and souvenirs are stowed!"
"Alright. You know the plan?" It was a fairly simple plan, all things considered.
"Uh, duh? Not like it's rocket science." Yeah, alright. That was fair. "Let's get going before bald-o figures out we're not staying at the hotel."
Rude had been trailing them, after the Battle Square debut of 'Knuckles' and Alchemist wasn't sure why. He also, it had to be said, really didn't care.
"Alright." Alchemist turned around and headed into the betting room. He veered left, towards a door marked 'employees only' and guarded by a man in a chocobo costume.
"Sir! I'm sorry, this is-" The kid, and it definitely sounded like a kid, tried to stop him.
"Dio told me to meet him here." And Alchemist just interrupted him.
"Yeah." Jinx piped up, a grin on her lips. "Like, what he's got for us won't fit on the railway? So we're supposed to take some elevator down?"
"Uhh..." The kid, that was definitely a kid, froze for a moment. "Right! Go on through, Mister Mist, sir!"
Alchemist patted the teenager on the shoulder as he stepped through the door, Jinx hot on his heels. They walked through a handful of hallways, stopped at a few intersections and only argued about who got them lost once before finding their way to a room full of jockeys and chocobos.
And one nearly nude man, glistening with oil and standing next to a motorcycle.
"That's not the Fenrir." Was the first thing out of Alchemist's mouth on seeing the bike.
It wasn't actually a complaint. Honestly, the only reason he'd bothered asking after the all-terrain bike was to see if Dio would be willing to pony up some real collateral.
"Yeah, sorry about that, Alec. Between my financiers and the manager of the Battle Square, I couldn't just pull it out to give to ya. This oughtta cover things just fine, though!" Dio grinned, waving over the motorcycle next to him. "She's my '87 Hardy-Daytona. Real beaut, runs like a dream! Not as materia efficient, but the seat's big enough your little sister there oughtta fit on just fine!"
"...Y'know what? Yeah, I'll take it." The seat issue was actually a very good point, one he'd completely missed. "You still got the owner's manual?"
"Right here." Dio grinned at him, almost like a proud parent as he handed over a dog-eared book and a green materia orb. "That there's the fire materia she runs on. Should get you a good two, maybe two and a half thousand kilometers before she starts to fracture. Just about any town or settlement ought to have some more for ya!"
Jinx looked starstruck.
He got the feeling he was going to have to teach her how to ride.
"Seriously." Dio said, nodding... Seriously. "It was great havin' you here at the Saucer. You really managed to draw in the crowds, makes up for you snaggin' all the Materia I had at the chocobo races!"
Alchemist was not going to bother being apologetic. He'd had to bet for two weeks straight to get everything. He was also pretty damn sure he paid for all of 'em a few times over.
"Hey, I had fun." Which was true! Alchemist had only had to deal with one teenager, and there had been no shortage of games for him to play here. "I might come back in a few years. Next stop is gonna be Costa Del Sol though."
Jinx, and Alchemist stepped on to the elevator that would take them down, down, down to the ground floor and gave Dio one final wave goodbye.
"So..." Jinx started once the hum of heavy machinery filled the air. "Any chance we can actually go to Costa Del Sol?"
"I'm up for it." The wizard admitted. "Just got to take care of these next few steps pretty fast. The clock'll run down pretty quick once I get started."
"Yeah." Jinx was not enthusiastic. He had told her the outline of his idea, and made sure she was aware that it was a very modifiable outline. "Great. Digging up corpses. Fun."
"To be fair." Alchemist answered, just as dryly as her. "It's not a corpse."
Lucrecia Crescent was never allowed to die in the first place.
AN/ Spells!
You protect an area against casual eavesdropping. Sounds and sonic effects that originate inside the area are muffled for anyone outside the area; Perception DCs to hear or understand sounds leaving the area increase by 20, and any saving throw DCs of these effects decrease by 2. The spell does...
aonprd.com
This spell functions like <i>greater polymorph</i>, except that it changes one object or creature into another. You can use this spell to transform all manner of objects and creatures into new forms—you aren't limited to transforming a living creature into another living form. The duration of...
aonprd.com
I'll explain how it works in a few chapters after the current arc.
"Wooo~! TAKE IT OFF~!!!"
