Metapontion allowing our hoplites through before the battle in no way means they'll continue to be receptive to our entreaties after we leave the bulk of Taras' military-age population dead on the battlefield.
Where are you getting this from? This would be utterly atypical for the period or basically any battle between pre-modern armies, let alone a border war between two-mid level city states. Like, feel free to refer to @Cetashwayo's post outlining how battles will work if you don't believe me.
As a general rule, losses of even as much as ten percent are very high for battles fought with muscle and sharp pointy things. People who are resisting or running away are quite hard to kill, and people get tired.