Fate/Clusterfuck (Fate/Stay Night)

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I still haven't abandoned the Churchill belief, even if it ends in failure.
ngngye said:
The moment Ayako finds out about Circe being capable of all sorts of weird magicy things and looks back at him with an unholy look in her eyes is when Shirou decides to commit Seigi no Mikata
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Archer: "Why does it feel like something terrible is happening?"
Shirou: "You know what? I'll just stick with Illya."
Archer: "No, no, this feeling is beyond terrible; there isn't a word for this!"
 
Adhoc vote count started by Erien on Jul 28, 2023 at 11:03 AM, finished with 87 posts and 51 votes.
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Vote locked.

No waffling I see.
 
Erien said:
Adhoc vote count started by Erien on Jul 28, 2023 at 11:03 AM, finished with 87 posts and 51 votes.
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Vote locked.

No waffling I see.
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Nonsense. Obviously this is the sort of conversation on should have a hearty western breakfast before having, so shirou must cook his girlfriend a plates worth of waffles.
 
The entire war grinds to a halt because we keep preparing magnificent, borderline addictive feasts to all parties. Rin is traumatized because she put on something like twenty pounds by that point and Kotomine is... well... dead because the food he most enjoys wouldn't be survivable in those proportions.
 
Modus_Tollens said:
The entire war grinds to a halt because we keep preparing magnificent, borderline addictive feasts to all parties. Rin is traumatized because she put on something like twenty pounds by that point and Kotomine is... well... dead because the food he most enjoys wouldn't be survivable in those proportions.
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The Grail just gives him another heart to keep going, and he ends up starting a successful Wushu exercise program for all the people unable to meet their weight goals as a result of Shirou's cooking. Except for Archer, suspiciously. And also Saber and Berserker, but that's not surprising, since one regularly eats entire household supplies for meals and the other would consume entire cows for nourishment if he felt like it.
 
Rancorious said:
The Grail just gives him another heart to keep going, and he ends up starting a successful Wushu exercise program for all the people unable to meet their weight goals as a result of Shirou's cooking. Except for Archer, suspiciously. And also Saber and Berserker, but that's not surprising, since one regularly eats entire household supplies for meals and the other would consume entire cows for nourishment if he felt like it.
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As if Shirou couldn't prepare an entire cow for consumption in record time. He just needs to find a flat metal surface large enough to use as a teppanyaki. And Saber is easy: Just don't let her stop eating. There is still a human sized mouth attached to the dragon sized stomach and so her inability to be properly filled turns from a strength to a weakness!

Though you made me picture Berserker Mordred eating a live cow and its both horrifying and strangely endearing at the same time. Like watching your cat prove it is an accomplished mouser in the bloodiest way possible. You are both very proud and also... oh god... is that a lung?? You still have to pet the cat afterward.

Though right now any food eaten might fall straight back out.
 
The Oinkening
  • Sidestory

    • View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvVkXvtYYpA

    The Fate franchise is inherently silly.

    Commissioned by @Glernaj

    —

    *Brihannala POV*

    One more arrow, and then it would be over. He fought poorly, but you would make it quick. You pointed it down towards his neck, a clean decapitation.

    "Let… caster… go…" The boy whispers out.

    … Once the master is dead, the servant shall follow. But if his dying wish is for her not to be harmed, then you shall honor it. Your fingers loose-

    "Oink."

    You blink, then slowly turn your head to see a… pig staring up at you.

    —

    *Taiga POV*

    In your adult, professional opinion. This was bad. You were laid partially on top of Sakura, the girl wide-eyed beneath you. That was likely due to the fact that you had a spear sticking out of your arm. It wasn't pleasant, but you had so much adrenaline at the moment you couldn't feel it. The white-haired pretty-boy that Sakura had summoned was doing his best to distract the monster, but it shrugged off everything he could throw it at. Much less anything you or Assassin could pull off.

    You still don't know what this grail war bullshit is about, but you could firmly say you didn't like it.

    The monster crashed through both servants with a roar, reaching forward to grab the spear sticking out of your arm.

    Only for you to watch him… get run over by a horde of pigs?

    —

    *Medea POV*

    You stare at the small pig standing next to Brihanalla. And suddenly, a lot of things in your life were starting to make sense, even if you didn't want them to. "Please no…" You mutter.

    The pig winks at you.

    Then the ground shook.
     
  • Sidestory
    • Erien said:

    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvVkXvtYYpA

    The Fate franchise is inherently silly.

    Commissioned by @Glernaj

    —

    *Brihannala POV*

    One more arrow, and then it would be over. He fought poorly, but you would make it quick. You pointed it down towards his neck, a clean decapitation.

    "Let… caster… go…" The boy whispers out.

    … Once the master is dead, the servant shall follow. But if his dying wish is for her not to be harmed, then you shall honor it. Your fingers loose-

    "Oink."

    You blink, then slowly turn your head to see a… pig staring up at you.

    —

    *Taiga POV*

    In your adult, professional opinion. This was bad. You were laid partially on top of Sakura, the girl wide-eyed beneath you. That was likely due to the fact that you had a spear sticking out of your arm. It wasn't pleasant, but you had so much adrenaline at the moment you couldn't feel it. The white-haired pretty-boy that Sakura had summoned was doing his best to distract the monster, but it shrugged off everything he could throw it at. Much less anything you or Assassin could pull off.

    You still don't know what this grail war bullshit is about, but you could firmly say you didn't like it.

    The monster crashed through both servants with a roar, reaching forward to grab the spear sticking out of your arm.

    Only for you to watch him… get run over by a horde of pigs?

    —

    *Medea POV*

    You stare at the small pig standing next to Brihanalla. And suddenly, a lot of things in your life were starting to make sense, even if you didn't want them to. "Please no…" You mutter.

    The pig winks at you.

    Then the ground shook.
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    Other servants see warphasm Cu, Brihanalla, and they wonder, "how the hell am I supposed to stop these OP basterds" but Circe has known the solution for all problems under the sun for more than three thousand years, is MORE PIGS!!
     
    Just thought of something but what's Sauron's reaction to the modern world.I think he would practically squeal on the inside when he discovers Facebook and the ability to control people through the internet.
     
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