Hello All! Its good to put out something new. Please give @Strypgia a hand for his help editing my mess. I know this is a break from what is going on in the story but thematically it makes sense. Given all the discussion in the previous chapters about Gendo's character I thought it would good to get some exploration of that in a flashback. I hope you enjoy and I hope I can get the next proper chapter out soon.
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The outskirts of Yokohama July 4, 2001
Gendo walked along the cracked pavement alley between the towering, dilapidated, housing blocks. Behind him the sun was setting slowly, painting everything in a withering orange light. Remembering the directions he was given he crossed an empty lot, stopping only when he heard some children playing in the distance. Gendo could not help but wonder if they were old enough to truly understand what Second Impact had done, but he supposed hunger was a universal language. It was worse than anything he had witnessed when he was young, he had no illusions about that. The weathered buildings and creeping decay were more than any he had faced when he was a child. But it was not so much that he did not feel some twangs of memory from times long faded as he neared the apartment where his father supposedly lived.
It took more than a moment, far longer then he would admit, for Gendo to muster the courage to reach inside his jacket past the cold metal of the Czech pistol to the key he had gotten from the landlord. Entering the apartment Gendo was so overcome with the smell of rot, that had to cover his mouth to stop from gagging. One step at a time he moved down the hall, the floor creaking under his boots as he avoided stepping on errant bottles or garbage. Nearing the end of the hall he heard a familiar voice.
"I told you I don't have the money right now! Come back next week and I can scrounge up something..." The voice stopped as Gendo turned the corner putting him in the speaker's view. "Oh... it's you."
Gendo grit his teeth and looked across the room to his father who was sitting on a what looked to be a very worn couch. "Yes, it's me."
It had been years since Gendo had seen his father but some things never changed. He was older, with deep lines etched in his face and grey streaks in his hair but the creature underneath was the same. The same sallow nicotine stains still marked his fingers, the same sour stink of booze filled the air, and the same cold disgust filled his eyes. "So you came back. What happened? Did your little gang kick you out? Or you still the same punk as last time?"
Gendo almost smiled. "The nature of my company has not changed drastically... only the scale."
The man grunted and leaned forward grabbing a can of beer from among others and taking a swig. "So my boy has made it in the world. Yippee," he said flatly before chuckling "I don't suppose you can spare your old man some cash so I can get back on my feet?"
"No... I think not. The truth is... I think we both know why I am here." Gendo reached into his jacket and with great satisfaction pulled his CZ 75 from the holster. Before pointing it at his father.
To his credit his father did not shrink or back down, only sighing as he saw the weapon and taking another swig of beer. "So that is how it is. I guess I should not be surprised. You always were a little shit. Too much of your mother in..."
Gendo stiffened. "Don't talk about her." Gendo insisted, motioning with the gun. "After what you did you don't get that right."
The man chuckled. "Or what? You'll shoot me? If you didn't want to hear me talk you would not have come. You could have sent one of your little friends but you didn't. So let's do this... but let's not pretend its something its not." There was a disgusted look on his face "Why now? If I can ask that."
Gendo took a moment before answering. "I thought you would have died in Second Impact. But then I get a message from a... source I know, and he tells me your alive and well..." Gendo motioned around the disheveled apartment. "Well... alive anyway. And truth be told..." Gendo stopped as the words felt heavy on his mouth. "Yui...my wife is pregnant. Our son is coming soon and I could not stand to think of him opening his eyes and seeing a world with you in it." Gendo breathed out slowly. "And because I hate you."
That made the man pause for a moment, his face darkening. "Good. Better that then the little pussy you were, scared of your own shadow. You needed a hard hand and that's what I gave you. Your mother..." He paused for a moment eyeing the gun "Your mother never understood that. But look at you now..." He gave his son a mocking smile "Big man."
"I am my father's son." Gendo grit his teeth. "I am what you made me. But don't you dare say that all... that was for my own good. You were not some wise teacher, you were a bully and a drunk who took the shame of his own failures out on his family."
Gendo's father laughed. "Don't be so fucking dramatic. I didn't you do anything you didn't deserve. Don't paint yourself as some saint after all you and your friends have done." He reached over again and took the beer can, swishing around the last of it before downing it. "If you think this is gonna end with some big confession. Or that I am gonna beg like a dog you have another thing coming."
Gendo held the pistol tighter, the sweat from his hands making the weapon feel clumsy. Swallowing deeply he steadied his aim. "Then I guess this is it."
"Wait!" A bead of sweat dripped down his father's face as he threw out a hand. "Put the gun down, we can settle this like real men." The couch creaked as he began to get up. "Don't you want to..."
Gendo did not give his father a chance to finish. With several loud cracks Gendo fired one shot after another into the man's chest before his target collapsed forward into the coffee table, scattering empty beer cans along the floor.
His ears ringing and his wrist sore Gendo put away the gun, the sour smoke of the weapon still fresh in the air. Gendo breathed in deeply as he leaned over looking as blood began to stain the carpet beneath him. It was over. Gendo breathed out, his hands still shaking as the weight of what he had done hit deep in his chest. He tried to control himself as his vision blurred, to force down all the memories desperate pleas and pain. He did not think it would be like this, after all he had done, after the billions he had left in his wake he expected to be stronger. What was one more in the shadow of all that? But it did not stop, the feelings just twisted inside him until he could take it no longer and retched on the floor in front of him. Yui. He had to go back, some part of him knew that even in a place like this the neighbors would only ignore sounds of gunshots for so long. Taking one final moment to look at the dead figure of his father Gendo steeled himself and turned to leave. Only to find a boy in the door frame behind him.
Perhaps it was Gendo's eyes, or his own mind deceiving him but in some ways, the youth before him looked familiar. A dark mop of brown hair and grey-blue eyes like stormy water. He did not say anything but simply looked past Gendo towards the body behind him curiously. Swearing under his breath Gendo pulled out his wallet and pulled out a handful of bills, and thrust them into the hands of the boy. "You didn't see anything."
The walk back to his car through the rotting slum was a liberating one. Each step he took farther away from that hole and closer to Yui was a gasp of life. Driving away through the policed checkpoint he felt clean. Walking down the street to the house he shared with Yui he felt redeemed.
"I'm home," Gendo said, trying his best to hide any uneasiness in his voice as he made his way to the kitchen. Smiling broadly as he saw his wife at the counter putting away cups. Without another word, he wrapped his arms around her waist to her round belly. "I missed you," Gendo said softly into his love's ear.
Yui giggled at her husband as she put away the last of the cups and leaned back into Gendo's arms. Her hands reaching down and intertwining with his. "Your stubble is tickling my neck. " Letting go for a moment she turned to step away and look at her husband. " How was your day? You were gone for a while. Stuck in meetings with the board again?"
Gendo sighed and shook his head, his heart stopping for a moment before looking his wife in her warm blue eyes. "Just some business that needed to taken care of. It's fine." Gendo smiled as he pulled up a chair. "How are you feeling? Is the nausea better? You're back?"
Yui laughed and put a hand on Gendo's shoulder encouragingly "I'm fine, you worry too much... I feel like I am big as a house but I am fine."
Gendo smiled. "You will never not be beautiful to me."
Yui shook her head. "Stop that, you'll make me blush." Yui paused for a moment, rubbing a hand over her stomach and thinking. "You know I think we should start talking about names. What do you think?"
Gendo shook his head. "I don't think that I am... the right sort of man to help with that kind of thing. I trust whatever you have in mind."
Yui laughed again, her warm voice lifting Gendo up like a light. "Idiot..." She reached out and took Gendo's hand, running her fingers over the warm gold of his wedding ring. "You gave up your name for me... You should decide their name."
Gendo looked into his wife's eyes, his heart melting. "I told you before my name wasn't something that mattered to me but if you want me too..." Gendo thought for a moment, his voice steady and deliberate. "If it's a boy, Shinji, a girl... Rei."