Beauty and the Beast [NGE]
- Location
- Canada
Heh, well it seems the Patreon would have been a bad idea anyway since I am ending the fic. I am deeply sorry. I am a piece of shit writer and I don't deserve any of you as fans. I am sorry I have wasted your time with my awful gibberish. If anyone else wants to try their hand with this they are free to do so. Again I am sorry I am such a pathetic waste of time and space. I don't deserve a fraction of the time and affection I have been given here. I am sorry I will stop writing and you will be rid of me. Please forgive me. I am truly sorry.
EvaUnit01
Kept you waiting, huh?
You're really not that bad.
- Location
- Canada
Before I go I would like to say thank you to @Strypgia for editing as well as @MoroseMobius and @Susano I really appreciated the help making my garbage seem readable. Thank you to all my loyal fans and those who took a chance on me. A special thanks to @DocMatoi for their constant support. And finally a big thanks to everyone on the discord for helping me bounce ideas off of and for reading my unedited dribble.
Information: Official Staff Communication
Turing Decidable
𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕗
- Location
- Belgium
- Pronouns
- He/Him
official staff communication
Locked by OP request.
Information: Official Staff Communication
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
official staff communication
Thread reopened at OP request.
- Location
- Canada
So... there is no easy way to say this but seeing the above I think it needs to be said. Im really sorry. I have pretty bad depression and anxiety and sometimes that can spiral out into really bad places. This wont be news to anyone who paid close attention to some of my old posts in the DIRTT thread and of course people who share some discords with me will also know this but I think it should be said. I am trying to get my life together more and be more in control of myself but I dont always manage it and today that manifested in this. Im deeply sorry if this freaked out anyone or made youblose your faith in me. This week has been very hard on me for several reasons but I should have kept my composure or at the very least vented in a more productive healthy way then burning down something I loved. If people will have me I will keep going and try to writing this story to its conclusion. You guys deserve that much. Thank you for reading this and thank you to those who reached out.
Astray Spiral
Potential Evil Incarnate
- Location
- C:\Windows\explorer.exe
When I first saw those two posts before the thread was locked, my immediate thought was, "Huh? That was abrupt." It just didn't sit right with me, so I didn't nix my sub for this thread and waited. I know depression and anxiety is a bitch, it's not fun for those who suffer from it (including me, though my case is fairly different from yours from what I'm thinking). The feeling that your world is collapsing around you, and you can't deal with it is understandable. I've been there, and it wasn't a fun time for me; my life would've fallen apart at the seams due to a couple of things.
To be blunt, I had suicidal and homicidal thoughts, and I'm lucky that I had a second of rationality to pull me out from that place and start calming down. Once everything settled, I sought help, got it for a couple of years, and haven't looked back. Even now, I'm different from when I was 18, but I'm always cautious of my problems. A relapse could always happen, but I can't let the unknowns control me. I just have to take life one step, one day, at a time.
I may not know what happens in your life, or what causes your mental health to deteriorate, but I know one thing: you are not alone. If you're ever having problems, take time to recollect yourself and solve them, we can wait. The most important priority for you is yourself, never forget that. I like Beauty and the Beast, and I would like to see the story come to a glorious conclusion, but I can wait if anything comes up. Patience is a virtue, and it's best to practice what is preached.
Good luck, and make sure to take care of yourself.
It'll be okay man, I like where you're going with the story and if you ever need to take some time away from it to clear your head or just get away from things for a while I completely understand and will be here to read and talk about it when you get back.
- Location
- Canada
Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. I dont want to get too into it or personal but sometimes its easy for me to fall down the rabbit hole of self loathing. And then... not all self harm is cutting. Sometimes it can involve drug or alcohol abuse while sometimes it can be more mild like sequestering yourself off from your family or friends. Not doing the things you need to do to get better or like in this case... cutting yourself off from something you find enjoyable or fufilling. In all cases the principal is usually the same. Your so lost and out of control that you do something that will make you miserable just for some sense of control. That was kinda what today was. Thank you again to those who stuck around. Hopefully i did not lose too many people in the hours betweeen messages.
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Spectral Waltz
Scatterbrained Writer
- Location
- Walking the Endless Corridors
Still here, still reading.
Chapter 14
- Location
- Canada
A special thank you to @Strypgia for editing and @DocMatoi for his appreciation and kindness. But I do want to thank all of you who are still around and kicking after my less then stellar behavior today. I hope people enjoy. this chapter was a long time coming.
Shinji opened his eyes to see the first glimpses of light peek over the horizon. He had a good view, sitting cross legged at the top of a hill overlooking the city. The last two days had been a blur, wandering around the city and the countryside in fear and shame. He could not face what he had done to Kensuke, but he couldn't leave the city completely either, his duty holding him like a chain. So he drifted awash in a sea of strange faces and sounds. He had hurt Kensuke. Something in him had just snapped and he had hurt him. But what affected Shinji worse was Sakura. Shinji could not get her face out his mind. She was more scared in that moment of him than when Kensuke had carried her off into the screaming crowd as the Angel attacked.
'Maybe she is right,' Shinji thought hopelessly. 'Maybe I am just like that thing. Doomed to hurt everyone around me...'
Shinji was snapped out of his self-loathing by the sound of footsteps behind him. "Mari I don't..." Shinji stopped when he saw the figure making his way to him was not his guardian but instead the Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki.
"I sympathize with your appreciation of a good landscape, but I do wish you decided to do your introspection somewhere easier on my old knees." The old man gave a tired smile as he reached the top of the hill. "Quite different from the red scorching deserts of Nevada but a bit more livable I would say. It's a shame I can't show you it in the autumn. The leaves turn such beautiful colors. Your mother adored it."
Shinji hung his head, not sure what to say. "Kozo! I mean... Sub-Commander. Sorry, living with Mari has given me some bad habits." Shinji scratched the back of his neck with some embarrassment. His guardian almost never called people by their formal ranks or position, instead being disarmingly casual to anyone she met. "It is nice. Sometimes it's relaxing to just... get away for a bit." Shinji went abruptly silent. The thing he wanted to get away from hanging over him like a ghost.
The Sub-Commander nodded. "I understand what you mean. It's why I enjoy times like this when I am able to remove myself from your father's side and perhaps help in my own way. I was his teacher, you know, and your mother's and your guardian's. I like to think that I have some knowledge to share."
Shinji sighed, his position shifting so that he was hugging his knees, trying to hide from it all. "I don't know what to do. I hurt Kensuke. I didn't mean to..." Shinji almost choked on his words, a feeling of disgust flowing over him. "But I did. And now I can't face him or Mari let alone dad and...." Shinji clenched his teeth. "Maybe Misato is right. Maybe I am a monster."
Shinji snapped out of his misery when he heard the Sub-Commander give a weighty chuckle behind him. Turning around Shinji stared in puzzlement as he saw the old man smile. "What a world that would be. If only monsters were capable of acting without thinking and hurting those they cared about. The truth is, Shinji, what you did was archaically human as what you're doing right now."
Kozo's words stewed in Shinji's head. He never really thought much about humanity only that it needed protecting, but what he said made some sense. The duality that let them be heroes or... something else. Still, under it all Shinji's fears crept in. "What are you going to do to me?"
Kozo gave out a tired sigh. "If you are asking me if you will be confined to quarantine again, then no. On my advisement your father has decided not to take any punitive action regarding the incident. You are free to go so to speak. But I would advise more caution in the future. There are those who would take any opportunity to put you under more intense examination."
Shinji was shocked. "Nothing? But I..."
"I know. Kensuke Aida is currently recovering from a broken nose, black eye, cracked rib as well as well as some minor scrapes bruises and cuts I don't think I need to get into. But nothing I or your father or even Mari will do to you will undo what you did. If you are looking for absolution I have none to offer."
Shinji went silent. He hated the idea of being the subject of his father's charity, but he hated the fact he had no option but to take it more. This all felt hollow, but he supposed that was how it should be.
"I am reminded of the day that I met your father, Shinji. He was in a similar situation, truth be told, though a few years older and more than a little alcohol on his breath. I had never met him before, only barely knew his name from the student list for the upcoming semester when I got a call from the police on his behalf. He had been in a bar fight and was stuck in some stinking drunk tank. For the gall alone I wanted to meet him, to tell him off in person and to expel him from my class. But when I got to the station and saw him, I changed my mind."
Shinji raised an eyebrow intrigued. He knew almost nothing of his father and less of his motives. "Why?"
"Because I saw something in him I see in you now. A pain that is not easily healed. A pain that grows until it bursts and spreads outward hurting others. And for the life of me I could not condemn your father to wallow in that pain alone. Just as I cannot allow you to do so now."
Shinji hid his face in shame. He hated to be compared to the man who abandoned and replaced him. "I didn't... I don't want to be like that," Shinji said weakly.
"Then strive not to be. There are times, Shinji, when one must define who they are, even to themselves." Kozo spoke with sharp authority, as if he was reading out of a lecture book.
Shinji was unsure what he should say. He was unsure what he was, much less what he wanted to be, aside from not his father. And he supposed that was for now, enough. "Thank you, Kozo, this means a lot to me..." Chewing on his teeth Shinji tried to think of something else to speak about when an idea came to mind. "You knew my mom for years, right? Did you ever... what do you know about my grandparents? She seemed..." Shinji stopped when he heard the growing whine of a helicopter over the horizon drawing closer towards them. "Our transport back to the Geofront?" Shinji asked absently.
Fuyutsuki shook his head. "Actually it will be taking me to Odawara to meet with our new arrivals from Europe. I am told you know some of them quite well." There seemed to be a sly edge to the old man's smile. "If you wish, you can accompany me. Though I admit I may not be the most engaging of company."
Shinji's eyes widened in shock. They are here! Asuka, Rebecca, Kaji, and Langley! They finally arrived! A wave of shame passed over Shinji as he realized how oblivious he was. So wrapped up in his own pain he did not remember the people who loved him most. "I... yes I would like that thank you," Shinji smiled tentatively. "It will be good to see them again. Will Mari be joining us?"
Kozo nodded and waved a hand toward the landing vehicle, the thrum of the engine and the blades muffling his words. "When she can. I was told she had some business with your father that needed sorting out but she would make all effort to rendezvous with us when available." Walking towards the helo, Kozo patted Shinji on the shoulder firmly. "Remember what I said, Shinji. We are the men we choose to be."
*
Gendo rapped his gloved knuckles on the black wood of his desk. In front of him standing at attention was Doctor Makinami. It was strange seeing her like this. Gendo hesitated to say they were ever especially close but the woman in front of him was one of the few who he could say with some confidence he considered a friend... at least at one time or another. Seeing her now, fear in her eyes was a telling sign of how far some things had changed in the last fifteen years.
"So here we are. Before the battle with the third Angel you said the Third Pilot could be trusted. Are you still confident in that appraisal?" he said at last.
"Of course!" Mari sputtered before regaining her cool. "There were just... extenuating circumstances," Mari said flatly, her obvious apprehension still roiling under the surface. "Shinji was under great emotional distress."
Gendo gave a low sigh. Images of his own childhood flashing through his mind. "We are at war with a great enemy. And the winner will claim the Earth. I expect some emotional distress is inevitable."
"Fine." Mari breathed out her frustration. "Where do we go from here?"
"We?" Gendo grit his teeth. He did not like the tone she was carrying. This was supposed to be a reprimand. He had entrusted his son into her care and he had come out like this... like him. The last thing he wanted Shinji to be.
"You are not Stern, Gendo. You don't like to gloat over a fallen enemy, you just dust yourself off and move on. If you wanted to get rid of me I would already be gone, either sent back to America or face down in a ditch somewhere..." Mari paused, something flashing in her eyes. "Or perhaps I would be found to have mysteriously and conveniently committed suicide." Her gaze was withering as she looked at him. "In any case, if I am here it means you still think I am useful. Or at least that my use outweighs the trouble it would take to remove me."
Mari's words made Gendo scowl. They brought up memories he would prefer to forget. Worse, she was right, something he hated to admit. "Very well. I am not going to take any action to Shinji at this time aside from recommending that you continue any training you had in Nevada regarding any AT-Field abilities, since you mentioned in your report he manifested one when making his way to the transit station. I can hush up most things but anything that trips a Pattern Blue will turn heads."
Mari nodded. "I spoke with Suzuhara senior when I returned Sakura to him. He was going to find out one way or the other. Seven-year-olds are not exactly adept at keeping secrets. He seemed... mixed about it but given the situation I don't expect him to do anything. Anyone else?"
Gendo raised an eyebrow. Suzuhara? Where do I remember that name from?
Shaking his head of memories Gendo focused on the now. "Yes and no. I had several Section Two agents speak with the Aida boy and his father. Explained to them how unwise it would be given everything, to spread what happened around. Besides them, the only ones who know are those in house. Section Two, the medical officers that treated the boy and people with access to their reports such as head of Tactical and Technical. So in theory we are in the clear. In practice..."
Mari raised an eyebrow. "In practice?"
Gendo sighed "In practice Kozo and I have known for several months that Kiel has plants in Section Two and given what happened the other week I think we should assume the Witch does as well. So we must then assume that both of them know everything that happened. However both will obviously act as though they didn't know until it becomes too important to ignore since acting would confirm the presence of such leaks."
Mari blinked and then put a hand to pinch her brow in exhaustion. "Do you even remember the days when the only things we had to worry about were getting Kozo our essays in on time?"
Gendo almost smiled at that. "I think both of us were more concerned with impressing Kozo's star student then we were him."
Mari blushed a bit and looked down at her feet. There was a moment of silence between them. A sad, sweet melancholy that seemed to fill the air until Mari broke it speaking softly. "I didn't know... maybe I didn't want to know that Shinji was capable of that."
Gendo nodded. "We never know what we are capable of until we do it," Gendo said slowly. A cascade of pain, misery and shame of all the things he never thought he could do until he did filled his mind. From his time in the gangs of his youth to his attempt to infiltrate the Ikari family... only to find out they were darker then he could ever hope to be. To his actions in Antarctica, to Shinji, then Naoko, then Ritsuko... "We all have our demons."
"Yeah, well, I made mine," Mari sighed. "We can't wind the kids up, treat them like soldiers and then act surprised when they do what we taught them." Gendo watched as Mari took a deep breath and compose herself "Speaking of. How are we going to reconcile this with our new arrivals?"
Gendo thought. "Langley's presence is unexpected given his usual propensity for distancing himself from conflict. But did always present himself as a bit of a cowboy so... throwing himself into the action out of a twisted sense of self importance is not implausible. Still... I would take care keep him out of this as much as we can. Ultimately anything he brings to the UN will be hushed up and overridden by SEELE but I would like to spare myself the headache as much possible."
Mari nodded. "And the girls?"
Gendo groaned and shrugged. "They do not concern me. Both are quite used to keeping NERV secrets in one way or another and if they are still connected to Shinji as they once were I doubt they would do anything to harm him even if they found out about his... augmentation. As long as the Second Pilot is ready and willing to fight she should be below our notice."
Mari nodded again and looked up nervously "if that is all..."
Gendo scowled again thinly. "Yes you may go. I expect there will be much to do with the arrival of Unit 2 and its provisional staff. I have sent Teacher to speak with Shinji and take him to Odawara to meet with the Second Pilot and her family. Hopefully that may... calm things for now."
Mari sighed. "I can only hope." Taking a quick bow Mari turned and walked out of the room with sharp haste, leaving Gendo with his thoughts.
'Why do I care about this?' Logically, Gendo knew none of this really mattered. Their first priority was killing the Angels after that it was only a matter of whose scenario won out. 'Kiel and his dreams of the world's rebirth, Stern and his cabal of desperate men clawing at their own mortality... or me fulfilling the dream that has kept me going for ten years. To be with Yui again and forever.'
Compared to all of that the pitfalls and stumbles of his son were nothing. At least... that is what they should be. Some part of Gendo could not help but feel something, some shadow of regret over the ever growing cost of everything he had done. "Yui... I'm sorry," he said aloud, not quite knowing what else to say. "I can only pray you will recognize me when you see me."
*
Shinji looked out of the small window of the helicopter and down onto the rolling green countryside beneath them. It was fascinating to see, Mari had shown him pictures of the place before in his studies but so many of the pictures were from before the Impact. So seeing the dark mountains of his old book with new scars was a sight to see. That valley where Rei killed that Angel was pretty torn up. I wonder how long it will take to get it back to how it was. It was a strange thought, how much damage could be done by such beasts in a blink of an eye. Shaking his head Shinji looked up to see Kozo opposite him, strapped in tightly. Shinji had wanted to speak more with the man about various things: His mother and grandmother, Mari and his father and their time together under his tutelage but the harsh sounds of the helicopter made such things impossible.
Peeking again he saw the thin roads get larger and larger and as it became much more urban quickly until finally he could see a sliver of ocean if he strained his neck. They were here. If Shinji had a heart it would be pounding in his chest. 'Asuka, Rebecca will you even recognize me when you see me?'
Shaking his head Shinji tried to bury his anxieties as the craft made its decent into the port. As they descended he saw the familiar scuttling of trucks and workers of NERV, this time loading and unloading cargo from the freighters and carriers. Somewhere on one of those ships lay Unit-02, Asuka's pride and joy. It had been years since Shinji had seen the titan but its fierce red color and its four emerald eyes still stayed in his mind.
Stepping off the craft Shinji was disappointed to see the people on the ground were far less harmonious then they appeared from above. All around he saw groups of NERV officers arguing with JSSDF personnel as well as a scattering of crew from what Shinji assumed to be the German and American ships in the harbor given the languages being used. Turning to Kozo, Shinji saw the old man with his phone to his ear the second they were sufficiently away from the helicopter, his face now twisted into a scowl. Putting a hand over the phone he looked at Shinji with frustration. "Something has come up. I am afraid I will need to leave you here for a moment while I speak with someone. Do you have your phone and ID on you?"
Shinji nodded and patted his pocket. He had kept it charged the last few days of his wanderings around the city, plugging it into charging stations or occasionally asking for an outlet. He was already distraught from his inaction in the last battle. He didn't want to an Angel to arrive and have Mari unable to contact him when in need.
Kozo gave a sigh of approval. "Your guardian will be arriving later to oversee the transportation of Unit-03." Kozo motioned towards the phone. "If this... problem proves more time consuming then I anticipate I am sure she will pick you up."
Shinji sighed and nodded. He hated feeling so useless like this. To be carted around by the people in authority around him like just another piece of equipment. No wonder Asuka was so grouchy at it all. Once Kozo had gone Shinji, began to walk vaguely in the direction of the water, trying not to get in the way of the many angry men in uniforms.
So many of them. Some of them he understood while others he did not and had to guess based on the flags and the cut of their uniforms. It was strange, Shinji thought of himself vaguely as Japanese but he had spent far too much of his life in various NERV bases in Europe and then in America with Mari to really identify as anything in his heart. He supposed he could throw himself in with NERV itself, but he had seen and been told of far too much petty politics, corruption, and other nastiness to believe the aggrandizing image the organization sold itself as. If Shinji was loyal to anything it was people in general. Mari had told him all about how his mother and her shared such bright optimism for humanity and the wonders we as a species would make. Shinji liked to believe that, but some part of him found it harder when he himself could barely connect with the people around him and the ones he did he had manage to connect with he hurt like Ken.
Scanning the area, Shinji felt more terrified then when his father had locked him in that cell. He was so different than when he last saw Asuka and Rebecca. Shinji put a hand where his heart would be. He had lost so much he was unsure he could bear to lose them too. As much as it might hurt he would do everything he could to keep his... condition from them. Shinji did not want to think that the bonds they had made in their childhoods would disappear if he told them but after how quickly Misato had turned on him he knew he could not risk it. Besides, Asuka was a Pilot wasn't she? Even more then him. She was trained to kill Angels, there was no way that she could ever...
"Hey, idiot!"
Shinji turned around to see Asuka Soryu standing triumphant behind him, shining like the sun. She had grown since he had last saw her. She was taller, and looked to be still growing. Her long legs and arms had a strong wiry quality to them. She looked like a runner, a gymnast... a fighter. Her face was glowing, a smile creeping up her face as her blue eyes lit up as she looked up at Shinji "You miss me?"
"Asuka!" Jumping down from the crate Shinji looked at his old friend face to face. It had been too long. Seeing her smile Shinji could not help but feel so much of his anxieties melt, at least for the moment. Not sure what to do, Shinji got closer. "You're not gonna hit me are you... oh, fuck it." Throwing caution to the wind, Shinji embraced Asuka in a tight hug, spinning her around as he squeezed.
Shinji felt a pang of embarrassment until he felt Asuka squeeze back, laughing as she looked up at his morose face "You look like you never thought you would see me again."
Shinji gave short sigh, trying not to ruin the moment by thinking of all that had happened. "Sometimes it felt that way..." Suddenly very conscious of how close the two were, Shinji let Asuka go with a blush. "I'm so glad you're here, Asuka. Things have been... a lot."
Asuka chuckled. "I've should have known you would have fallen apart without me looking after you. You always did follow me along wherever I led." Asuka smiled, a twinkle in her rich blue eyes.
"That's because you always dragged me behind you,"Shinji smiled back, thinking of those times that felt like a whole life ago. "It's good to see you again Asuka. You look good. I like what you did with your hair," Shinji said, not sure what else to say. "How was the trip over?"
Asuka laughed and dragged her fingers through her wild bob. "I hated it getting in my eyes during training. I could never get it as soft or thick as Rebecca's anyway so..." Asuka threw up her arms. "Eh, the trip over was fine, I guess. Boring more then anything. I almost wished an Angel attacked on the way to break up the monotony. Better that then getting stuck in a cabin with your useless seasick sister."
Shinji gave a awkward laugh at the mental image but soon perked up looking around to see if the girl was with Asuka. "Where is Rebecca, anyway?"
Asuka scrunched up her face at Shinji's question, causing him a flash of regret at even bringing up the subject. "Probably attached to dear old dad's hip. Who cares? Tell me everything about the Angels! Dad wouldn't let me see the battle logs they sent him, so I had to get what I could from the Marines... and Kaji of course but you know how tight lipped he can be when wants to."
Shinji shrugged as he began to walk with Asuka. "Not sure what to say. It was loud and fast I thought I was gonna die." It was the truth. As much as he tried to remember his training, in the heat of the moment it all felt like a desperate scramble.
"So a regular Tuesday for you?" Asuka stuck her tongue out impishly at Shinji. "Don't worry, Asuka's here now. I will protect you." She patted his shoulder with more then a whiff of cheery condescension.
"Hey, I can protect myself! Mostly..." Shinji answered defensively. "They didn't just throw Unit-04 at me in Nevada, they trained me too." Among other things. Shinji puffed out his chest in feigned pride.
"They better have," Asuka said with some authority. "If you're going to be fighting with me I expect the best! I can't afford to trip over you in the middle of the battle!" Asuka poked Shinji in the chest with a finger.
Shinji just laughed nervously. "Don't worry, I will try not to get in your way, Asuka." One thing was clear to Shinji, time had certainly not cooled her disposition.
"Good." Asuka said with her chin held high. "just wanted to make that clear." Something shifted in her as she turned to face Shinji again, an earnestness in her features. "Seriously though, Shinji... It is good to see you again. You really were a good friend to me. I hope that maybe we can still be as close..." Asuka stopped and sighed as she saw two figures round the corner. "Figures I could not evade them forever."
Shinji looked at the pair. Langley looked very much the same since the last time he had seen him. A older American type with dusty blonde hair and broad shoulders. He wore a brown leather coat with patches along the arm signifying his position as NERV liaison. He was handsome in a square-jawed cowboy way, but the effect was somewhat ruined by his constant nervous disposition.
Beside him was his other daughter Rebecca who smiled at Shinji when their eyes met. It was always funny to Shinji similar and yet so apart Asuka and Rebecca were. While Asuka's hair was short and dark red Rebecca's was long and gold blonde. Where Asuka was more athletic and fit Rebecca was rounder with a fuller chest and softer body. Where Asuka wore a maroon hoodie and jeans Rebecca wore a light blue sundress with a floral pattern.
"There you are, Asuka!" her father said with a hint of frustration before seeing Shinji and brightening up. "And you found Shinji! That's wonderful!"
Langley turned to the boy with a smile as he grabbed his hand and shook tightly "Great to see you again son. Man, you have grown. What did Mari feed you over in Nevada?"
Shinji gave a forced chuckle as he let go of the man's hand. This was not the first time Langley had acted overly familiar. It never failed to set Shinji on edge. It was just... kind of creepy. "Good to see you, Mister Langley. I'm glad you could come with to Tokyo-3."
Langley gave a laugh. "I couldn't just leave my daughter in her time of need, could I? She has a important job to do, but she should not have to do it alone. Of course, I should not worry too much since you're here to protect her too! Ah ha ha!"
Shinji tried not to react to Asuka violently rolling her eyes at the corner of his vision, instead turning to the girl everyone was seemingly ignoring. "Rebecca, its great seeing you again. You look great. Sorry about the boat ride. I know it can be hard on some people. I was lucky enough to fly over and have my Eva come to me."
Rebecca blushed, embarrassment evident on her face as it was made clear Shinji knew about her sickness. "I... its okay. Just glad to be on solid ground, heh." Rebecca squeaked, but stepped forward shyly giving Shinji a quick hug "Its good to see you again too. I'm really glad they let me come. I don't want to bother anyone, but I do wanna be here with you guys."
"If I told you that you were bothering me now would you take the boat and go home?" Asuka jibbed sarcastically making her sister wince.
"Asuka, please will you knock that off for..." Langley stopped as he heard a faint melody coming from his pocket. Pulling out his phone he made a silent motion to ask the three youths to be quiet. "Hi... Oh hey Kaji... what?... Oh no that's fine... Yeah I can see you later, not sure what I can do here anyway. They are either gonna play nice or they aren't... No, its okay I will see you later. Okay... okay, bye."
Langley put away the phone and looked at the three faces all turned to him. "It seems Mister Kaji has some important business to attend to which leaves me a bit in the wind. I don't suppose you three would like to have some lunch somewhere? Have a chance to catch up?"
Asuka shrugged obviously unhappy with the addition of her father and sister but not enough to start a fight. "Might be nice. Anything is better then the sludge they served in the galley on board."
Shinji was more enthusiastic. "Sounds wonderful, just let me tell Kozo and we can head off." Shinji was almost giddy. For the first time in what seemed like forever things were going to be okay.
*
Kozo Fuyutsuki's footsteps on the metal gangway echoed into dark open space of the cage. It was not a section of the Geofront that saw much use in the last five years and in fact was entirely empty save for himself and the man in front of him sitting on the edge of the bridge with his feet dangling over. His former student and present superior Gendo Ikari.
"I thought I would find you here. It is one of your favorite places to sulk."
Kozo saw the commander turn and scowl but it soon returned to his look of resigned self loathing. "I spoke with Mari. She thought I was going to kill her. She knew I killed Naoko, all those years..."
"You did not kill her Gendo. I know that nothing I can say will change your mind on the matter, but I will not let the comment go unresponded to." Kozo grimaced, not wanting to repeat a long drawn out argument. "She was a distraction and we are better for her absence, but you did not kill her. And I will not allow you to waste our precious time sulking over a dead whore. Besides..." Kozo gripped the rail and took a deep breath. "We have much larger issues that need addressing. Kaji has failed to acquire the sample of Adam's fetal form we needed for the scenario."
Kozo watched a dozen subtle emotions pass over his former student's face. Rage, horror, shock, confusion, and finally despair. For a moment the old man was afraid the Commander was going to throw himself off the ledge like his now deceased liaison. But the man seemed to regain his composure. "How?"
"The sample was moved before Kaji was able to get to it. From his own sources he has deduced that it is being sent to Bethany base in the Arctic circle. One of Kiel's most secure strongholds," Kozo explained. "Seeing as the Geofront is not being stormed by JSSDF thugs I doubt this was due to our plans. Far more likely, I suspect Lorenz was trying to preemptively counter Stern. He and his little cabal have been trying to pressure Kiel into giving them samples of Adam for years now. They're desperate to come up with a formula for immortality that does not involve Instrumentality."
Gendo snarled. "We have been ignoring the American for far too long, comfortable in the shadow his rebellion gave us." Gritting his teeth Gendo continued, "Now what, then? We cannot attempt the binding or the ritual without a pure sample. We have no medium."
Kozo felt a cold smile creep over his face. It was so rare these days that he played the teacher to the Commander "We do not. However, we do have someone in our employ who might be used to accomplish the same thing. A boy that has successfully bonded with not only Adamite flesh but his own S2 engine. A boy who we now know can even manipulate AT fields."
"Shinji..." Gendo turned to his teacher, fear and excitement in his eyes. "Yes. Perhaps that can work. It will take some convincing but perhaps... perhaps we can be a family again. But first I think I will speak to our dear inspector and I will not be doing so alone."
Chapter 14
Shinji opened his eyes to see the first glimpses of light peek over the horizon. He had a good view, sitting cross legged at the top of a hill overlooking the city. The last two days had been a blur, wandering around the city and the countryside in fear and shame. He could not face what he had done to Kensuke, but he couldn't leave the city completely either, his duty holding him like a chain. So he drifted awash in a sea of strange faces and sounds. He had hurt Kensuke. Something in him had just snapped and he had hurt him. But what affected Shinji worse was Sakura. Shinji could not get her face out his mind. She was more scared in that moment of him than when Kensuke had carried her off into the screaming crowd as the Angel attacked.
'Maybe she is right,' Shinji thought hopelessly. 'Maybe I am just like that thing. Doomed to hurt everyone around me...'
Shinji was snapped out of his self-loathing by the sound of footsteps behind him. "Mari I don't..." Shinji stopped when he saw the figure making his way to him was not his guardian but instead the Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki.
"I sympathize with your appreciation of a good landscape, but I do wish you decided to do your introspection somewhere easier on my old knees." The old man gave a tired smile as he reached the top of the hill. "Quite different from the red scorching deserts of Nevada but a bit more livable I would say. It's a shame I can't show you it in the autumn. The leaves turn such beautiful colors. Your mother adored it."
Shinji hung his head, not sure what to say. "Kozo! I mean... Sub-Commander. Sorry, living with Mari has given me some bad habits." Shinji scratched the back of his neck with some embarrassment. His guardian almost never called people by their formal ranks or position, instead being disarmingly casual to anyone she met. "It is nice. Sometimes it's relaxing to just... get away for a bit." Shinji went abruptly silent. The thing he wanted to get away from hanging over him like a ghost.
The Sub-Commander nodded. "I understand what you mean. It's why I enjoy times like this when I am able to remove myself from your father's side and perhaps help in my own way. I was his teacher, you know, and your mother's and your guardian's. I like to think that I have some knowledge to share."
Shinji sighed, his position shifting so that he was hugging his knees, trying to hide from it all. "I don't know what to do. I hurt Kensuke. I didn't mean to..." Shinji almost choked on his words, a feeling of disgust flowing over him. "But I did. And now I can't face him or Mari let alone dad and...." Shinji clenched his teeth. "Maybe Misato is right. Maybe I am a monster."
Shinji snapped out of his misery when he heard the Sub-Commander give a weighty chuckle behind him. Turning around Shinji stared in puzzlement as he saw the old man smile. "What a world that would be. If only monsters were capable of acting without thinking and hurting those they cared about. The truth is, Shinji, what you did was archaically human as what you're doing right now."
Kozo's words stewed in Shinji's head. He never really thought much about humanity only that it needed protecting, but what he said made some sense. The duality that let them be heroes or... something else. Still, under it all Shinji's fears crept in. "What are you going to do to me?"
Kozo gave out a tired sigh. "If you are asking me if you will be confined to quarantine again, then no. On my advisement your father has decided not to take any punitive action regarding the incident. You are free to go so to speak. But I would advise more caution in the future. There are those who would take any opportunity to put you under more intense examination."
Shinji was shocked. "Nothing? But I..."
"I know. Kensuke Aida is currently recovering from a broken nose, black eye, cracked rib as well as well as some minor scrapes bruises and cuts I don't think I need to get into. But nothing I or your father or even Mari will do to you will undo what you did. If you are looking for absolution I have none to offer."
Shinji went silent. He hated the idea of being the subject of his father's charity, but he hated the fact he had no option but to take it more. This all felt hollow, but he supposed that was how it should be.
"I am reminded of the day that I met your father, Shinji. He was in a similar situation, truth be told, though a few years older and more than a little alcohol on his breath. I had never met him before, only barely knew his name from the student list for the upcoming semester when I got a call from the police on his behalf. He had been in a bar fight and was stuck in some stinking drunk tank. For the gall alone I wanted to meet him, to tell him off in person and to expel him from my class. But when I got to the station and saw him, I changed my mind."
Shinji raised an eyebrow intrigued. He knew almost nothing of his father and less of his motives. "Why?"
"Because I saw something in him I see in you now. A pain that is not easily healed. A pain that grows until it bursts and spreads outward hurting others. And for the life of me I could not condemn your father to wallow in that pain alone. Just as I cannot allow you to do so now."
Shinji hid his face in shame. He hated to be compared to the man who abandoned and replaced him. "I didn't... I don't want to be like that," Shinji said weakly.
"Then strive not to be. There are times, Shinji, when one must define who they are, even to themselves." Kozo spoke with sharp authority, as if he was reading out of a lecture book.
Shinji was unsure what he should say. He was unsure what he was, much less what he wanted to be, aside from not his father. And he supposed that was for now, enough. "Thank you, Kozo, this means a lot to me..." Chewing on his teeth Shinji tried to think of something else to speak about when an idea came to mind. "You knew my mom for years, right? Did you ever... what do you know about my grandparents? She seemed..." Shinji stopped when he heard the growing whine of a helicopter over the horizon drawing closer towards them. "Our transport back to the Geofront?" Shinji asked absently.
Fuyutsuki shook his head. "Actually it will be taking me to Odawara to meet with our new arrivals from Europe. I am told you know some of them quite well." There seemed to be a sly edge to the old man's smile. "If you wish, you can accompany me. Though I admit I may not be the most engaging of company."
Shinji's eyes widened in shock. They are here! Asuka, Rebecca, Kaji, and Langley! They finally arrived! A wave of shame passed over Shinji as he realized how oblivious he was. So wrapped up in his own pain he did not remember the people who loved him most. "I... yes I would like that thank you," Shinji smiled tentatively. "It will be good to see them again. Will Mari be joining us?"
Kozo nodded and waved a hand toward the landing vehicle, the thrum of the engine and the blades muffling his words. "When she can. I was told she had some business with your father that needed sorting out but she would make all effort to rendezvous with us when available." Walking towards the helo, Kozo patted Shinji on the shoulder firmly. "Remember what I said, Shinji. We are the men we choose to be."
*
Gendo rapped his gloved knuckles on the black wood of his desk. In front of him standing at attention was Doctor Makinami. It was strange seeing her like this. Gendo hesitated to say they were ever especially close but the woman in front of him was one of the few who he could say with some confidence he considered a friend... at least at one time or another. Seeing her now, fear in her eyes was a telling sign of how far some things had changed in the last fifteen years.
"So here we are. Before the battle with the third Angel you said the Third Pilot could be trusted. Are you still confident in that appraisal?" he said at last.
"Of course!" Mari sputtered before regaining her cool. "There were just... extenuating circumstances," Mari said flatly, her obvious apprehension still roiling under the surface. "Shinji was under great emotional distress."
Gendo gave a low sigh. Images of his own childhood flashing through his mind. "We are at war with a great enemy. And the winner will claim the Earth. I expect some emotional distress is inevitable."
"Fine." Mari breathed out her frustration. "Where do we go from here?"
"We?" Gendo grit his teeth. He did not like the tone she was carrying. This was supposed to be a reprimand. He had entrusted his son into her care and he had come out like this... like him. The last thing he wanted Shinji to be.
"You are not Stern, Gendo. You don't like to gloat over a fallen enemy, you just dust yourself off and move on. If you wanted to get rid of me I would already be gone, either sent back to America or face down in a ditch somewhere..." Mari paused, something flashing in her eyes. "Or perhaps I would be found to have mysteriously and conveniently committed suicide." Her gaze was withering as she looked at him. "In any case, if I am here it means you still think I am useful. Or at least that my use outweighs the trouble it would take to remove me."
Mari's words made Gendo scowl. They brought up memories he would prefer to forget. Worse, she was right, something he hated to admit. "Very well. I am not going to take any action to Shinji at this time aside from recommending that you continue any training you had in Nevada regarding any AT-Field abilities, since you mentioned in your report he manifested one when making his way to the transit station. I can hush up most things but anything that trips a Pattern Blue will turn heads."
Mari nodded. "I spoke with Suzuhara senior when I returned Sakura to him. He was going to find out one way or the other. Seven-year-olds are not exactly adept at keeping secrets. He seemed... mixed about it but given the situation I don't expect him to do anything. Anyone else?"
Gendo raised an eyebrow. Suzuhara? Where do I remember that name from?
Shaking his head of memories Gendo focused on the now. "Yes and no. I had several Section Two agents speak with the Aida boy and his father. Explained to them how unwise it would be given everything, to spread what happened around. Besides them, the only ones who know are those in house. Section Two, the medical officers that treated the boy and people with access to their reports such as head of Tactical and Technical. So in theory we are in the clear. In practice..."
Mari raised an eyebrow. "In practice?"
Gendo sighed "In practice Kozo and I have known for several months that Kiel has plants in Section Two and given what happened the other week I think we should assume the Witch does as well. So we must then assume that both of them know everything that happened. However both will obviously act as though they didn't know until it becomes too important to ignore since acting would confirm the presence of such leaks."
Mari blinked and then put a hand to pinch her brow in exhaustion. "Do you even remember the days when the only things we had to worry about were getting Kozo our essays in on time?"
Gendo almost smiled at that. "I think both of us were more concerned with impressing Kozo's star student then we were him."
Mari blushed a bit and looked down at her feet. There was a moment of silence between them. A sad, sweet melancholy that seemed to fill the air until Mari broke it speaking softly. "I didn't know... maybe I didn't want to know that Shinji was capable of that."
Gendo nodded. "We never know what we are capable of until we do it," Gendo said slowly. A cascade of pain, misery and shame of all the things he never thought he could do until he did filled his mind. From his time in the gangs of his youth to his attempt to infiltrate the Ikari family... only to find out they were darker then he could ever hope to be. To his actions in Antarctica, to Shinji, then Naoko, then Ritsuko... "We all have our demons."
"Yeah, well, I made mine," Mari sighed. "We can't wind the kids up, treat them like soldiers and then act surprised when they do what we taught them." Gendo watched as Mari took a deep breath and compose herself "Speaking of. How are we going to reconcile this with our new arrivals?"
Gendo thought. "Langley's presence is unexpected given his usual propensity for distancing himself from conflict. But did always present himself as a bit of a cowboy so... throwing himself into the action out of a twisted sense of self importance is not implausible. Still... I would take care keep him out of this as much as we can. Ultimately anything he brings to the UN will be hushed up and overridden by SEELE but I would like to spare myself the headache as much possible."
Mari nodded. "And the girls?"
Gendo groaned and shrugged. "They do not concern me. Both are quite used to keeping NERV secrets in one way or another and if they are still connected to Shinji as they once were I doubt they would do anything to harm him even if they found out about his... augmentation. As long as the Second Pilot is ready and willing to fight she should be below our notice."
Mari nodded again and looked up nervously "if that is all..."
Gendo scowled again thinly. "Yes you may go. I expect there will be much to do with the arrival of Unit 2 and its provisional staff. I have sent Teacher to speak with Shinji and take him to Odawara to meet with the Second Pilot and her family. Hopefully that may... calm things for now."
Mari sighed. "I can only hope." Taking a quick bow Mari turned and walked out of the room with sharp haste, leaving Gendo with his thoughts.
'Why do I care about this?' Logically, Gendo knew none of this really mattered. Their first priority was killing the Angels after that it was only a matter of whose scenario won out. 'Kiel and his dreams of the world's rebirth, Stern and his cabal of desperate men clawing at their own mortality... or me fulfilling the dream that has kept me going for ten years. To be with Yui again and forever.'
Compared to all of that the pitfalls and stumbles of his son were nothing. At least... that is what they should be. Some part of Gendo could not help but feel something, some shadow of regret over the ever growing cost of everything he had done. "Yui... I'm sorry," he said aloud, not quite knowing what else to say. "I can only pray you will recognize me when you see me."
*
Shinji looked out of the small window of the helicopter and down onto the rolling green countryside beneath them. It was fascinating to see, Mari had shown him pictures of the place before in his studies but so many of the pictures were from before the Impact. So seeing the dark mountains of his old book with new scars was a sight to see. That valley where Rei killed that Angel was pretty torn up. I wonder how long it will take to get it back to how it was. It was a strange thought, how much damage could be done by such beasts in a blink of an eye. Shaking his head Shinji looked up to see Kozo opposite him, strapped in tightly. Shinji had wanted to speak more with the man about various things: His mother and grandmother, Mari and his father and their time together under his tutelage but the harsh sounds of the helicopter made such things impossible.
Peeking again he saw the thin roads get larger and larger and as it became much more urban quickly until finally he could see a sliver of ocean if he strained his neck. They were here. If Shinji had a heart it would be pounding in his chest. 'Asuka, Rebecca will you even recognize me when you see me?'
Shaking his head Shinji tried to bury his anxieties as the craft made its decent into the port. As they descended he saw the familiar scuttling of trucks and workers of NERV, this time loading and unloading cargo from the freighters and carriers. Somewhere on one of those ships lay Unit-02, Asuka's pride and joy. It had been years since Shinji had seen the titan but its fierce red color and its four emerald eyes still stayed in his mind.
Stepping off the craft Shinji was disappointed to see the people on the ground were far less harmonious then they appeared from above. All around he saw groups of NERV officers arguing with JSSDF personnel as well as a scattering of crew from what Shinji assumed to be the German and American ships in the harbor given the languages being used. Turning to Kozo, Shinji saw the old man with his phone to his ear the second they were sufficiently away from the helicopter, his face now twisted into a scowl. Putting a hand over the phone he looked at Shinji with frustration. "Something has come up. I am afraid I will need to leave you here for a moment while I speak with someone. Do you have your phone and ID on you?"
Shinji nodded and patted his pocket. He had kept it charged the last few days of his wanderings around the city, plugging it into charging stations or occasionally asking for an outlet. He was already distraught from his inaction in the last battle. He didn't want to an Angel to arrive and have Mari unable to contact him when in need.
Kozo gave a sigh of approval. "Your guardian will be arriving later to oversee the transportation of Unit-03." Kozo motioned towards the phone. "If this... problem proves more time consuming then I anticipate I am sure she will pick you up."
Shinji sighed and nodded. He hated feeling so useless like this. To be carted around by the people in authority around him like just another piece of equipment. No wonder Asuka was so grouchy at it all. Once Kozo had gone Shinji, began to walk vaguely in the direction of the water, trying not to get in the way of the many angry men in uniforms.
So many of them. Some of them he understood while others he did not and had to guess based on the flags and the cut of their uniforms. It was strange, Shinji thought of himself vaguely as Japanese but he had spent far too much of his life in various NERV bases in Europe and then in America with Mari to really identify as anything in his heart. He supposed he could throw himself in with NERV itself, but he had seen and been told of far too much petty politics, corruption, and other nastiness to believe the aggrandizing image the organization sold itself as. If Shinji was loyal to anything it was people in general. Mari had told him all about how his mother and her shared such bright optimism for humanity and the wonders we as a species would make. Shinji liked to believe that, but some part of him found it harder when he himself could barely connect with the people around him and the ones he did he had manage to connect with he hurt like Ken.
Scanning the area, Shinji felt more terrified then when his father had locked him in that cell. He was so different than when he last saw Asuka and Rebecca. Shinji put a hand where his heart would be. He had lost so much he was unsure he could bear to lose them too. As much as it might hurt he would do everything he could to keep his... condition from them. Shinji did not want to think that the bonds they had made in their childhoods would disappear if he told them but after how quickly Misato had turned on him he knew he could not risk it. Besides, Asuka was a Pilot wasn't she? Even more then him. She was trained to kill Angels, there was no way that she could ever...
"Hey, idiot!"
Shinji turned around to see Asuka Soryu standing triumphant behind him, shining like the sun. She had grown since he had last saw her. She was taller, and looked to be still growing. Her long legs and arms had a strong wiry quality to them. She looked like a runner, a gymnast... a fighter. Her face was glowing, a smile creeping up her face as her blue eyes lit up as she looked up at Shinji "You miss me?"
"Asuka!" Jumping down from the crate Shinji looked at his old friend face to face. It had been too long. Seeing her smile Shinji could not help but feel so much of his anxieties melt, at least for the moment. Not sure what to do, Shinji got closer. "You're not gonna hit me are you... oh, fuck it." Throwing caution to the wind, Shinji embraced Asuka in a tight hug, spinning her around as he squeezed.
Shinji felt a pang of embarrassment until he felt Asuka squeeze back, laughing as she looked up at his morose face "You look like you never thought you would see me again."
Shinji gave short sigh, trying not to ruin the moment by thinking of all that had happened. "Sometimes it felt that way..." Suddenly very conscious of how close the two were, Shinji let Asuka go with a blush. "I'm so glad you're here, Asuka. Things have been... a lot."
Asuka chuckled. "I've should have known you would have fallen apart without me looking after you. You always did follow me along wherever I led." Asuka smiled, a twinkle in her rich blue eyes.
"That's because you always dragged me behind you,"Shinji smiled back, thinking of those times that felt like a whole life ago. "It's good to see you again Asuka. You look good. I like what you did with your hair," Shinji said, not sure what else to say. "How was the trip over?"
Asuka laughed and dragged her fingers through her wild bob. "I hated it getting in my eyes during training. I could never get it as soft or thick as Rebecca's anyway so..." Asuka threw up her arms. "Eh, the trip over was fine, I guess. Boring more then anything. I almost wished an Angel attacked on the way to break up the monotony. Better that then getting stuck in a cabin with your useless seasick sister."
Shinji gave a awkward laugh at the mental image but soon perked up looking around to see if the girl was with Asuka. "Where is Rebecca, anyway?"
Asuka scrunched up her face at Shinji's question, causing him a flash of regret at even bringing up the subject. "Probably attached to dear old dad's hip. Who cares? Tell me everything about the Angels! Dad wouldn't let me see the battle logs they sent him, so I had to get what I could from the Marines... and Kaji of course but you know how tight lipped he can be when wants to."
Shinji shrugged as he began to walk with Asuka. "Not sure what to say. It was loud and fast I thought I was gonna die." It was the truth. As much as he tried to remember his training, in the heat of the moment it all felt like a desperate scramble.
"So a regular Tuesday for you?" Asuka stuck her tongue out impishly at Shinji. "Don't worry, Asuka's here now. I will protect you." She patted his shoulder with more then a whiff of cheery condescension.
"Hey, I can protect myself! Mostly..." Shinji answered defensively. "They didn't just throw Unit-04 at me in Nevada, they trained me too." Among other things. Shinji puffed out his chest in feigned pride.
"They better have," Asuka said with some authority. "If you're going to be fighting with me I expect the best! I can't afford to trip over you in the middle of the battle!" Asuka poked Shinji in the chest with a finger.
Shinji just laughed nervously. "Don't worry, I will try not to get in your way, Asuka." One thing was clear to Shinji, time had certainly not cooled her disposition.
"Good." Asuka said with her chin held high. "just wanted to make that clear." Something shifted in her as she turned to face Shinji again, an earnestness in her features. "Seriously though, Shinji... It is good to see you again. You really were a good friend to me. I hope that maybe we can still be as close..." Asuka stopped and sighed as she saw two figures round the corner. "Figures I could not evade them forever."
Shinji looked at the pair. Langley looked very much the same since the last time he had seen him. A older American type with dusty blonde hair and broad shoulders. He wore a brown leather coat with patches along the arm signifying his position as NERV liaison. He was handsome in a square-jawed cowboy way, but the effect was somewhat ruined by his constant nervous disposition.
Beside him was his other daughter Rebecca who smiled at Shinji when their eyes met. It was always funny to Shinji similar and yet so apart Asuka and Rebecca were. While Asuka's hair was short and dark red Rebecca's was long and gold blonde. Where Asuka was more athletic and fit Rebecca was rounder with a fuller chest and softer body. Where Asuka wore a maroon hoodie and jeans Rebecca wore a light blue sundress with a floral pattern.
"There you are, Asuka!" her father said with a hint of frustration before seeing Shinji and brightening up. "And you found Shinji! That's wonderful!"
Langley turned to the boy with a smile as he grabbed his hand and shook tightly "Great to see you again son. Man, you have grown. What did Mari feed you over in Nevada?"
Shinji gave a forced chuckle as he let go of the man's hand. This was not the first time Langley had acted overly familiar. It never failed to set Shinji on edge. It was just... kind of creepy. "Good to see you, Mister Langley. I'm glad you could come with to Tokyo-3."
Langley gave a laugh. "I couldn't just leave my daughter in her time of need, could I? She has a important job to do, but she should not have to do it alone. Of course, I should not worry too much since you're here to protect her too! Ah ha ha!"
Shinji tried not to react to Asuka violently rolling her eyes at the corner of his vision, instead turning to the girl everyone was seemingly ignoring. "Rebecca, its great seeing you again. You look great. Sorry about the boat ride. I know it can be hard on some people. I was lucky enough to fly over and have my Eva come to me."
Rebecca blushed, embarrassment evident on her face as it was made clear Shinji knew about her sickness. "I... its okay. Just glad to be on solid ground, heh." Rebecca squeaked, but stepped forward shyly giving Shinji a quick hug "Its good to see you again too. I'm really glad they let me come. I don't want to bother anyone, but I do wanna be here with you guys."
"If I told you that you were bothering me now would you take the boat and go home?" Asuka jibbed sarcastically making her sister wince.
"Asuka, please will you knock that off for..." Langley stopped as he heard a faint melody coming from his pocket. Pulling out his phone he made a silent motion to ask the three youths to be quiet. "Hi... Oh hey Kaji... what?... Oh no that's fine... Yeah I can see you later, not sure what I can do here anyway. They are either gonna play nice or they aren't... No, its okay I will see you later. Okay... okay, bye."
Langley put away the phone and looked at the three faces all turned to him. "It seems Mister Kaji has some important business to attend to which leaves me a bit in the wind. I don't suppose you three would like to have some lunch somewhere? Have a chance to catch up?"
Asuka shrugged obviously unhappy with the addition of her father and sister but not enough to start a fight. "Might be nice. Anything is better then the sludge they served in the galley on board."
Shinji was more enthusiastic. "Sounds wonderful, just let me tell Kozo and we can head off." Shinji was almost giddy. For the first time in what seemed like forever things were going to be okay.
*
Kozo Fuyutsuki's footsteps on the metal gangway echoed into dark open space of the cage. It was not a section of the Geofront that saw much use in the last five years and in fact was entirely empty save for himself and the man in front of him sitting on the edge of the bridge with his feet dangling over. His former student and present superior Gendo Ikari.
"I thought I would find you here. It is one of your favorite places to sulk."
Kozo saw the commander turn and scowl but it soon returned to his look of resigned self loathing. "I spoke with Mari. She thought I was going to kill her. She knew I killed Naoko, all those years..."
"You did not kill her Gendo. I know that nothing I can say will change your mind on the matter, but I will not let the comment go unresponded to." Kozo grimaced, not wanting to repeat a long drawn out argument. "She was a distraction and we are better for her absence, but you did not kill her. And I will not allow you to waste our precious time sulking over a dead whore. Besides..." Kozo gripped the rail and took a deep breath. "We have much larger issues that need addressing. Kaji has failed to acquire the sample of Adam's fetal form we needed for the scenario."
Kozo watched a dozen subtle emotions pass over his former student's face. Rage, horror, shock, confusion, and finally despair. For a moment the old man was afraid the Commander was going to throw himself off the ledge like his now deceased liaison. But the man seemed to regain his composure. "How?"
"The sample was moved before Kaji was able to get to it. From his own sources he has deduced that it is being sent to Bethany base in the Arctic circle. One of Kiel's most secure strongholds," Kozo explained. "Seeing as the Geofront is not being stormed by JSSDF thugs I doubt this was due to our plans. Far more likely, I suspect Lorenz was trying to preemptively counter Stern. He and his little cabal have been trying to pressure Kiel into giving them samples of Adam for years now. They're desperate to come up with a formula for immortality that does not involve Instrumentality."
Gendo snarled. "We have been ignoring the American for far too long, comfortable in the shadow his rebellion gave us." Gritting his teeth Gendo continued, "Now what, then? We cannot attempt the binding or the ritual without a pure sample. We have no medium."
Kozo felt a cold smile creep over his face. It was so rare these days that he played the teacher to the Commander "We do not. However, we do have someone in our employ who might be used to accomplish the same thing. A boy that has successfully bonded with not only Adamite flesh but his own S2 engine. A boy who we now know can even manipulate AT fields."
"Shinji..." Gendo turned to his teacher, fear and excitement in his eyes. "Yes. Perhaps that can work. It will take some convincing but perhaps... perhaps we can be a family again. But first I think I will speak to our dear inspector and I will not be doing so alone."
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Fuyutsuki reaching out to Shinji is... odd. In Rebuild, he does it very blatantly to manipulate Shinji, and I'm worried that's what he's doing here.
Don't start thinking like that, Shinji. That's the start of a 'I'm worthless' spiral that doesn't lead anywhere good.
Yyyeah, this is manipulation. "Oh BTW, let me mention it was me who got you out of punishment.' But what's he angling for?
I'm betting this is all 100% news to Shinji.
Bullshit. You saw a guy you had to put up with because Yui was sweet on him. Unless their first meeting was really different from canon, Fuyutsuki is lying here.
Oh hoh... Mari knows or suspects about Naoko Akagi's little header off the Command Deck, eh? And she just dropped it here as a defense move?
Some guilt and self-awareness building up, Gendo? A bit late for that.
And of course Shinji knows its aimed at him, naturally.
Now that's a weird thing to picture. Asuka cut short?
Great, now she's going to resent her sister as a moment-killer, too.
Whoopsie! There goes someone's Scenario out the window... At least Kaji wasn't blown trying to get it? But that was the sneak he needed in canon. Without Adam's physical body, Gendo's really short on options to make his version of Third Impact work. Kiel probably knows that, too, if he's at all aware Gendo's up to shit.
- Location
- Space
Thanks for the update.
Welcome some girl that looks like you.
Wild bob eh I just can't imagine that really. Strygpia image doesn't help it either.
Maybe she changed her hairstyle to look different than her sister.
Welcome back Asuka.
Rip Asuka.
Welcome some girl that looks like you.
Wild bob eh I just can't imagine that really. Strygpia image doesn't help it either.
Oh so there you are Asuka! Hey... Wait a second something is not right!
Maybe she changed her hairstyle to look different than her sister.
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grommile
nasty-minded old cynic
- Location
- NERV-Mercia
- Pronouns
- Traditional/Animate
If I ever knuckle down and get a second chapter of AoR posted, I'm going to be running with very short hair on Asuka when she shows up, because really, drenching her vast canonical mane in bloody primordial soup on a regular basis can't be good for it
- Location
- Space
because really, drenching her vast canonical mane in bloody primordial soup on a regular basis can't be good for it
Shikinami did that for 14 years.
Curse of Eva makes your hair look good or maybe lcl isn't bad for your hair after all.
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grommile
nasty-minded old cynic
- Location
- NERV-Mercia
- Pronouns
- Traditional/Animate
Sure, but there's no Curse in AoR and I don't want Zeppelin turning up with her own weight in hair care productsShikinami did that for 14 years.
Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
"Anta-baka!" In a very specific tone I imagine, obviously Shinji knows its for him. I mean, it's her word for him
I just wanna say Alex, I have a wife with similar issues (most of hers stem from anxiety induced depression which is twice the bundle of fun any time we go out somewhere new). I know peripherally what you're going through and I can safely say that it'll take more than that to get me to leave.
This is a good story, with a different take on things and I am in it for the long haul.
- Location
- North Carolina, USA
This, this is a really powerful line. I just wanted to make sure that I said that. It feels like it's tied into broader themes of the story without being really obvious.
- Location
- North Carolina, USA
Another comment on past chapters here. Okay, so, chapter 2...
Wow. Actual wow. The reveal of Shinji's Angelic abilities was really well handled. I like how you sort of matched some of the beats that happened in canon but added something new to it. And the conversation between Mari and Gendo afterward had real tension in it. I like the fractious nature of the higher ups in this story. It feels very human.
Also, Shinji and Kaworu sensing the Angel arrival. That was really cinematic, not sure how else to describe it. I was seeing it animated in my head easily.
(Also, allusions to Kiel's past are really interesting and I hope there's more of them.)
Wow. Actual wow. The reveal of Shinji's Angelic abilities was really well handled. I like how you sort of matched some of the beats that happened in canon but added something new to it. And the conversation between Mari and Gendo afterward had real tension in it. I like the fractious nature of the higher ups in this story. It feels very human.
Also, Shinji and Kaworu sensing the Angel arrival. That was really cinematic, not sure how else to describe it. I was seeing it animated in my head easily.
(Also, allusions to Kiel's past are really interesting and I hope there's more of them.)
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- Location
- Canada
This was actually kinda my reasoning. Having siblings, especially siblings close age to you, can really affect your development. In this case one of the side effects was Asuka kinda rejecting trying to be as much of a pretty girly girl since she could not match Rebecca in it. Asuka is kinda one of those people who will drop something if its clear she cant be the best at it. So she let Rebecca do her thing while she became more practical and conservative and focusing on her piloting.Maybe she changed her hairstyle to look different than her sister.
wyatt2996
Need me some WAFF
- Location
- Tidewater, VA
But Stryp... he has Adamite flesh in his son, and Lilite flesh in Rei... if he can get Rei and Shinji together, he doesnt need Adam or Lilith... he can use his son and his daughter(?) to create 3rd impact and control his scenario that way... until Rei and Shinji take control and screw him worse than in NGE cannon... However Shinji is a marked man as soon as SEELE figures out that he has angel like powers... not that SEELE could do anything against that power, other than throw Kaworu at him...
ok... maybe that would be effective... provided Asuka and Rebecca dont get through his walls first...
- Location
- North Carolina, USA
Chapter 3 was neat. My thoughts on it:
- Ouch, Misato reacting to Shinji the way she did. Ouch. I understand why she's feeling that way but it's still...it's still a harsh thing for him to experience.
- The tension was conveyed well, I like how you kept a good balance between Shinji's feelings and the people on the bridge reacting
- Raziel's design is cool and the choice in names (Raziel meaning Secret of God) feels very appropriate.
-Again, you took a familiar beat from canon and managed to do something unique with it.
And also, in the heat of the battle, Gendo is still Gendo. :3
- Ouch, Misato reacting to Shinji the way she did. Ouch. I understand why she's feeling that way but it's still...it's still a harsh thing for him to experience.
- The tension was conveyed well, I like how you kept a good balance between Shinji's feelings and the people on the bridge reacting
- Raziel's design is cool and the choice in names (Raziel meaning Secret of God) feels very appropriate.
-Again, you took a familiar beat from canon and managed to do something unique with it.
And also, in the heat of the battle, Gendo is still Gendo. :3
- Location
- Canada
Kunohama "Come to the dark side Shinji, we have bishies."
Kaworu "Would you like some piano lessons?"