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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Seems simple enough. The youngin's who want to shack up with their more exotic neighbors get to do so, the kids get provided for, and no one dies.

Of course it's not going to be that simple because these people see their kids as future investments at best and free slaves at worst, so them not getting 'married in the eyes of god' is going to be a problem.

I suppose if we point out that A. there are a lot of gods roaming around and B. most of them don't deserve the worship that won't help matters either.

If we could just get the point across about how fucking good they've got it right now compared to almost everybody else then maybe that would do the trick, but in doing so we'd probably only get the fire-starters more anxious to start shit and then all hell will break loose.
 
I was confused by the updates as well but I find the audacity in making people know we are, in person is around and going on an Egg quest, amusing. Keep it!
 
DragonParadox said:
I can't believe I read that backwards...:oops:

In any case the results would have been roughly the same only the focus of what showed up 'on screen' would have been different.

If you guys want a retcon though I'll write it out and leave this as an omake
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It's fine, we mostly wanted to avoid taking Ysilla into a possible fight with the creatures out there.

Maybe just retcon her having been with Viserys in this variant?
 
What we need to do is ensure security for both the woman and the children begotten, provided by the fathers in question. Or rather, that's the bare minimum of what these aggrieved villagers would expect to be provided.

The issue at hand is, naturally, multi-faceted. The fey would of course say, "I live off the bounty of the land", though their methods of doing so make such things undoubtedly easier for them than it would be for these mothers. Furthermore the mothers probably expect to be able to raise their children within the town, or at least among other normal people. Why would any of them lean on frolicsome fey for support? They went to them because of baser urges in need of satisfaction. Any of them that expected a real relationship out of it only has themselves to blame.

We could cut through the center of this and just take the women with us to SD, where it would be easier to manage a fund to provide for the new immigrants. I'm not for giving any funds to the women if they remain here, because it'll just be taken away from them by irate parents.
 
Here's the thing, the fey don;t have a problem with the Old Gods, so people and fey could be married under them, I believe. :D

Probably a bad idea tbh, but fun to think about :D

Hmm, now I'm thinking of sitcom pitches.
 
Crake said:
What we need to do is ensure security for both the woman and the children begotten, provided by the fathers in question. Or rather, that's the bare minimum of what these aggrieved villagers would expect to be provided.

The issue at hand is, naturally, multi-faceted. The fey would of course say, "I live off the bounty of the land", though their methods of doing so make such things undoubtedly easier for them than it would be for these mothers. Furthermore the mothers probably expect to be able to raise their children within the town, or at least among other normal people. Why would any of them lean on frolicsome fey for support? They went to them because of baser urges in need of satisfaction. Any of them that expected a real relationship out of it only has themselves to blame.

We could cut through the center of this and just take the women with us to SD, where it would be easier to manage a fund to provide for the new immigrants. I'm not for giving any funds to the women if they remain here, because it'll just be taken away from them by irate parents.
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I love how the most altruistic option basically boils down to "take new potential unborn shinys back with us."

I mean they'd be supported by the king, and any child of Fey parentage has to have a higher chance of magical ability at the bare minimum.

Win-Win for all involved.
 
Artemis1992 said:
It's fine, we mostly wanted to avoid taking Ysilla into a possible fight with the creatures out there.

Maybe just retcon her having been with Viserys in this variant?
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Oh I see.... She wanted to see the fey to begin with, though Tyene walked the whole way with a hand on her shoulder so they could teleport out at a moment's notice

Tomcost said:
I wanna know which fey are roaming around these parts. Besides satyrs, of course.

@DragonParadox ?
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So far you heard of grigs, nixes, satyrs ad naiads in the river (though they tend to be standoffish)
 
Viserys: "I'm only offering a feasible solution, of course."
Martyn: "And I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with your self-professed anti-piety but infamous ties with the gods of the North--"
Viserys: "--and Vale!"
Martyn: "And they won't swear vows otherwise?"
Viserys: "Full disclosure: they're incapable of it. Most of my other suggestions revolve around removing one side of the equation or the other entirely."
Martyn: "You don't mean to say.."
Viserys: "Well, probably take the not-so-maidens away to my domain, provided with the same subsidies the destitute immigrants to my realm are provided with."
Martyn: "And the other?"
Viserys: "Challenge the Fey Lord to a duel and then relocate the court."
...
Viserys: "What? It's old hat. Done it before. Gotta smack them around from time to time or they get bloated on hot air."
Martyn: "I'm sure that many others think the same of you, considering..."
Viserys: "What? Me being a dragon? That isn't hot air, I assure you."
 
Best solution, IMO, is to offer the expectant mothers a place in SD, away from their shitty parents, where their children can grow up in an enlightened environment accepting of differences. Any mother who stays here is going to have a hard time, and their children will be even worse off.

It is easily within our means to pay off the girls' parents, if we so choose.

The problem with this scenario is that it will almost certainly be damaging to our reputation, which runs contrary to the reason we're taking this action to begin with.
 
@Goldfish Why not... just build them a commune somewhere near the fey's lands, arrange some "aide"/"childsupport" from the fathers who can pop by from time to time to help out. Shelter, an arrangement for provisions to be provided, and a small sub-community where the kids can grow up around each other and at least have an in-group and insulation from persecution by the presence of their fey parents until their majority. At which point, they can take care of themselves, and presumably their mothers.
 
Goldfish said:
Best solution, IMO, is to offer the expectant mothers a place in SD, away from their shitty parents, where their children can grow up in an enlightened environment accepting of differences. Any mother who stays here is going to have a hard time, and their children will be even worse off.

It is easily within our means to pay off the girls' parents, if we so choose.

The problem with this scenario is that it will almost certainly be damaging to our reputation, which runs contrary to the reason we're taking this action to begin with.
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It doesn't prevent future problems, though.

We need to negotiate here between both parts
 
Crake said:
How is Lord Roote supposed to convince his men to go poking after monsters/spirits/magical folk if all the stories being spread about them are terrifying superstitious nonsense?

The thing is, when all the drivel is out there, and all the drivel is exaggerated, but it's clearly verifiable that spirits/ghouls/monsters/creatures/mages are real and out there, how do you convince your hapless armsmen to go gallivanting into the woods after them?

I guess you could shame a Knight by questioning his honor into doing it, so I'm going to also guess that was the route he would have gone... in which case, fair enough.

It just reminds me of all the nonsense they're saying about Viserys. Oddly enough none of the vicious rumors about what we're about is accurate, but there's plenty of sketchy, shady or gruesome shit we get up to, it's just that we never do it around anyone.

But if everyone actually ends up buying into "what we do to our enemies" (which is honestly, in most cases, offer them clemency if they surrender, or cleanly execute them if they refuse), how does anyone expect their people, even their mages, to go up against us? It would almost be more productive to encourage people to downplay our capabilities somewhat.

I mean I guess after Tyrosh even that would be pretty much impossible. We're literally the Big Bad Evil Guy in the local area, at least the one with the most notoriety, which really doesn't do anyone any good when the real BBEGs of the setting have goals like "enslave/eat/kill everyone", and our goal is pretty much "take over with as few casualties as possible for the betterment of all". Which is amusing to see play out. I'm sure from pretty much any plucky upstart hero's PoV, if ASWaH were told from another perspective, we wouldn't seem very heroic even with the most objective, open-minded take on our actions.
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It's a well known thread meme by now that Viserys is, from any other viewpoint then his own, the BBEG of the setting.

Mind you that our actions last week don't exactly make it easy to argue against that.
 
Goldfish said:
Best solution, IMO, is to offer the expectant mothers a place in SD, away from their shitty parents, where their children can grow up in an enlightened environment accepting of differences. Any mother who stays here is going to have a hard time, and their children will be even worse off.

It is easily within our means to pay off the girls' parents, if we so choose.

The problem with this scenario is that it will almost certainly be damaging to our reputation, which runs contrary to the reason we're taking this action to begin with.
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I mean, "Prince Viserys takes in the destitute and unwanted" is hardly a blow. Of course they could spin it into some nonsense about Harems or us taking the girls away in the night, but as long as we've got the priest vouching for us and we clear it with the local lord then those voices would be minor compared to people talking about our magnanimity.

I mean, the Fey here are stupidly helpful compared to almost anywhere else. If it wasn't for the whole rolling in the hay nonsense these fuckers wouldn't have a single problem to solve. They even lead children back home, children. Usually those sparkly little fuckers kidnap children like I eat cheese puffs, to the point where it's far to much but you've already gone that far so you might as well keep going.

If those idiots fuck it up they have only themselves to blame, especially after we solve the whole maiden issue.

Honestly the question they need to be asking themselves is why are the girls willing to bang men with goats legs instead of the local lads. The answer may surprise you (here's a hint, the goat men actually bathe once a week.)
 
Crake said:
@Tomcost My suggestions feasible? It's not perfect, but we're trying to aim for a rep boost, not shinies.
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I think that it is going to be difficult to arrange, but possible. It still doesn't solve the main problem: the fey are breaking marriages here. There are a lot of buthurt men with their testosterone levels plummeting by having been beaten by goat people at sex.
 
Tomcost said:
I think that it is going to be difficult to arrange, but possible. It still doesn't solve the main problem: the fey are breaking marriages here. There are a lot of buthurt men with their testosterone levels plummeting by having been beaten by goat people at sex.
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Get the Fey Lord to bring Nymphs in his court then. It evens out!
 
Tomcost said:
I think that it is going to be difficult to arrange, but possible. It still doesn't solve the main problem: the fey are breaking marriages here. There are a lot of buthurt men with their testosterone levels plummeting by having been beaten by goat people at sex.
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Clearly we have to remove the institution of marriage from the local culture.

Problem solved.
 
Tomcost said:
I think that it is going to be difficult to arrange, but possible. It still doesn't solve the main problem: the fey are breaking marriages here. There are a lot of buthurt men with their testosterone levels plummeting by having been beaten by goat people at sex.
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I would like to note her that the women broke their own engagements / marriages. There were no compulsions or coercions on the side of the fey.
 
Artemis1992 said:
Clearly we have to remove the institution of marriage from the local culture.

Problem solved.
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This would work, but is a tad excessive. We gotta invent divorce.

Azel said:
I would like to note her that the women broke their own engagements / marriages. There were no compulsions or coercions on the side of the fey.
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Yes. That's the whole problem. The goatmen did nothing wrong. We can't punish them.

The problem is how to heal the destroyed male egos here
 
Evaunit02mark1 said:
"Why'd you leave me?!"

"Staggitarus lasts longer than 3 minutes, goes down, and actually gets me off. Why do you think?"

"..."

"He also got me flowers, jackass."
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Viserys, half-assedly: "...I think they also quite like a good book, maybe a gently spoken sobriquet, and a research specimen that only tries to bite you occasionally rather than on sight."
...
Viserys: "It didn't work?"
Butthurt Lad: "She slapped me!"
Viserys: "What did you give her?"
...
Viserys: "A... goose? Well... that's not a terrible present--"
Butthurt Lad: "I told he to cook it up for us, and then she slapped me!"
Viserys: "That was your second mistake."
Butthurt Lad: "What was my first?!"
Viserys: "Didn't bring an arcane servant with you to do the chores. Jackass."
 
[X] Plan Delegate
-[X] Try to talk down the most upset townsfolk
--[X] Tyene and Ysilla
---[X] If the level of butthurt/shame is too great in some men, offer them a place in SD where they can start a new life. No questions asked.
-[X] Seek an audience with the Lord of the Glimerwood Court
--[X] Viserys, Richard and Waymar.
---[X] Arregange for a meeting with the humans of the village so that they get to know more of each other, there is less fear, and they can arrange future interactions in a satisfactory manner for everyone. Offer to mediate if necessary.

There, as stealing maidens is bad for our reputation, we are offering a new life to men that are going to be a problem if they keep living here.
 
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