Remove ads

A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

Reader mode
Azel said:
Hasty wouldn't necessarily have to stay away from SD entirely. We have air transports, so he could take Joffrey to travel from Myr to Volantis and fly back home for a few weeks of downtime in the capital.

Or Rhealla just visits them by Teleport.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I guess...
 
@Crake, maybe just write in that Joffrey will be fostered and we brainstorm a few scenarios to vote upon tomorrow?

I have a few rough ideas, but I need a spot of time for planning and wiki crawling for feasibility.
 
[X] You will grant him a place in the Scholarum of Mantarys with a new name that is not Lannister.
-[X] Cogently point out that Tywin has already made that name into a byword for many unpleasant things, but 'folly' foremost among them. You don't particularly care what name he chooses, it can be as grandiose as he wishes, but he should try not to remind everyone he was a Lannister. He is unlikely to turn back the clock on that even if he worked at it for a thousand years (mostly because it is obvious that Viserys is deadset on ensuring no one makes any progress on it). At the very least, in Mantarys no one knows Tyrion, or really cares for his background. Most of them will care more for his skill with magic or the quickness of his mind.
--[X] To engender a bit more good will, offer the work of your Fleshcrafters. Bodily deformities do get around in Mantarys, but it would wipe away the last physical reminder of his past for him to no longer be a dwarf.
-[X] Like all former Lannisters with the power, finances or connections to become a problem, the Inquisition will monitor him and take necessary steps to ensure the stability of the realm if necessary.

[X] Arrange to have Tommen fostered in Braavos at the Sealord's Palace, learning useful skills that will serve him later in life.

[X] Tentatively broach the subject of pulling a Dunk and Egg with Bonifer Hasty, regarding Joffrey, including most of the wider realm rather than just Westeros, for perspective and the experience. We have air transports to allow some time in the capital if that's an issue, and of course there's teleportation... you are trying to have this conversation not as painfully awkward as possible considering you're obliquely referencing his potential romantic liaisons with your mother. Is it going well?
-[X] Regardless of his answer, you won't decide on this just yet.
 
@Azel I still want to talk it over with Bonifer on screen, least of all because I want it established IC that Viserys sees no problem with who Rhaella does or doesn't see and that he won't be standing in their way. It pretty much has to happen, since that's the kind of conversation that either happens, or nothing happens.
 
Duesal said:
Joffrey, Hero of the Imperium, has a hilarious ring to it.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Would it have the Ciaphas Cain model, where Joffrey gets credit for "heroically retreating" in the direction that the enemy ended up being in, surviving despite all odds and saving the day that he never intended to save?

Because that would also amuse me greatly in a D&D setting where encounters get rolled for PCs regardless of if they wanted them to happen or not.
 
i mean either genuine, accidental or preferably both at the same time i would find it hilairiously funny. Runestone does add the option of him being childhood friends with Sansa which makes it more preferable to me personally
 
Rovos said:
i mean either genuine, accidental or preferably both at the same time i would find it hilairiously funny. Runestone does add the option of him being childhood friends with Sansa which makes it more preferable to me personally
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yes, the hilarity factor of that did weight on my mind when coming up with it.
 
Joffrey the gallant knight having a childhood friend romace subplot with Sansa in the future honestly makes the attempt worth it in and of itself
 
Crake said:
@Azel I still want to talk it over with Bonifer on screen, least of all because I want it established IC that Viserys sees no problem with who Rhaella does or doesn't see and that he won't be standing in their way. It pretty much has to happen, since that's the kind of conversation that either happens, or nothing happens.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Fair enough. Him and Bonnifer doing the Knight Errant routine sounds neat and the relationship talk is overdue.

It's also nice when we occasionally ask people onscreen before deciding stuff for them.
 
I say we offer him a place at the scholarum.... And a new, uncrippled body.

Nothing special beyond it being what he "should" have had. A body to match his mind....
 
Vote closed.
Adhoc vote count started by DragonParadox on Apr 17, 2021 at 12:50 PM, finished with 97 posts and 21 votes.
  • [X] You will grant him a place in the Scholarum of Mantarys with a new name that is not Lannister.
    -[X] Cogently point out that Tywin has already made that name into a byword for many unpleasant things, but 'folly' foremost among them. You don't particularly care what name he chooses, it can be as grandiose as he wishes, but he should try not to remind everyone he was a Lannister. He is unlikely to turn back the clock on that even if he worked at it for a thousand years (mostly because it is obvious that Viserys is deadset on ensuring no one makes any progress on it). At the very least, in Mantarys no one knows Tyrion, or really cares for his background. Most of them will care more for his skill with magic or the quickness of his mind.
    --[X] To engender a bit more good will, offer the work of your Fleshcrafters. Bodily deformities do get around in Mantarys, but it would wipe away the last physical reminder of his past for him to no longer be a dwarf.
    -[X] Like all former Lannisters with the power, finances or connections to become a problem, the Inquisition will monitor him and take necessary steps to ensure the stability of the realm if necessary.
    [X] Arrange to have Tommen fostered in Braavos at the Sealord's Palace, learning useful skills that will serve him later in life.
    [X] Tentatively broach the subject of pulling a Dunk and Egg with Bonifer Hasty, regarding Joffrey, including most of the wider realm rather than just Westeros, for perspective and the experience. We have air transports to allow some time in the capital if that's an issue, and of course there's teleportation... you are trying to have this conversation not as painfully awkward as possible considering you're obliquely referencing his potential romantic liaisons with your mother. Is it going well?
    -[X] Regardless of his answer, you won't decide on this just yet.
    [X] A place in the Scholarum where his name will mean nothing beside whatever clever working his mind might conjure, there he might rise high regardless of his past (Smooth his way, open doors, put a whisper in the right ears to keep him from being stonewalled)
    [X] A quiet retirement to a small manor house staffed with and monitored by inquisition agents.
    -[X] Have a jailer's and prisoner's ring pair made as per a Dungeon Ring set, to be used to monitor Tyrion by his handlers.
    [X] A place in the Scholarium of Mantarys as Tyrion Hill.
    -[X] Like all former Lannisters with the power, finances or connections to become a problem, the Inquisition will monitor him and take necessary steps to ensure the stability of the realm if necessary.
    [X] You will grant him a place in Mantarys with a new name that is not Lannister to start anew.
    -[X] Cogently point out that Tywin has already made that name into a byword for many unpleasant things, but folly foremost among them. You don't particularly care what name he chooses, it can be as grandiose as he wishes, but try not to remind everyone you were a Lannister. He is unlikely to turn back the clock on that even if he worked at it for a thousand years (mostly because it is obvious that Viserys is deadset on ensuring no one makes any progress on it). At the very least, in Mantarys no one knows Tyrion, or really cares for his background. Most of them will care more for his skill with magic or the quickness of his mind.
    --[X] To engender a bit more good will, offer the work of your Fleshcrafters. Bodily deformities to get around in Mantarys, but it would wipe away the last physical reminder of his past for him to no longer be a dwarf.
    ---[X] make Tyrion the guardian of the remaining Lanister family members and have them moved with him to Mantarys including the incest spawn this will act as another chain around Tyrions neck as he would be responsible for his family's welfare discouraging him from taking risks like adventuring or rebellion while masking it as a kindness while also conveniently removing the Lanister Royal bastards from play since they will be in a city ruled by angles in the opposite end of the empire as far from Westeros and those who could use them as we can put them while being within our power (plan make Joffrey paladin of lawful good is a go)
    [X] His Freedom as Tyrion Casterly, and all the other Lannisters who will forsake that name and take his, should they pledge their loyalty to us.
Click to expand...
 
Azel said:
10 IM on Elaheh talking him into something outrageous and lewd.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Elaheh: "Before you decide on the basic phenotypic features of your new vessel, perhaps you would like to peruse the new line of enhancements some of my other male canvases have found interesting?"

Tyrion: "What sort of enhancements are we talking about? Wings? Fire breath?"

Elaheh: "Oh, no, those are considered combat upgrades. That's a whole different catalog." She drops a three inch thick tome looking to weigh a good two stone on the table. "'Male Enhancements' are intended to make up for the sadly deficient bedroom skills of the typical mortal males I have encountered."

<Three Hours Later>

Elaheh: "Yes, I believe your new vessel can accommodate the desired enhancements. Are you absolutely certain you want two of th-"

Tyrion: "Yep."
 
Winning vote
Adhoc vote count started by DragonParadox on Apr 17, 2021 at 12:50 PM, finished with 97 posts and 21 votes.
  • [X] You will grant him a place in the Scholarum of Mantarys with a new name that is not Lannister.
    -[X] Cogently point out that Tywin has already made that name into a byword for many unpleasant things, but 'folly' foremost among them. You don't particularly care what name he chooses, it can be as grandiose as he wishes, but he should try not to remind everyone he was a Lannister. He is unlikely to turn back the clock on that even if he worked at it for a thousand years (mostly because it is obvious that Viserys is deadset on ensuring no one makes any progress on it). At the very least, in Mantarys no one knows Tyrion, or really cares for his background. Most of them will care more for his skill with magic or the quickness of his mind.
    --[X] To engender a bit more good will, offer the work of your Fleshcrafters. Bodily deformities do get around in Mantarys, but it would wipe away the last physical reminder of his past for him to no longer be a dwarf.
    -[X] Like all former Lannisters with the power, finances or connections to become a problem, the Inquisition will monitor him and take necessary steps to ensure the stability of the realm if necessary.
    [X] Arrange to have Tommen fostered in Braavos at the Sealord's Palace, learning useful skills that will serve him later in life.
    [X] Tentatively broach the subject of pulling a Dunk and Egg with Bonifer Hasty, regarding Joffrey, including most of the wider realm rather than just Westeros, for perspective and the experience. We have air transports to allow some time in the capital if that's an issue, and of course there's teleportation... you are trying to have this conversation not as painfully awkward as possible considering you're obliquely referencing his potential romantic liaisons with your mother. Is it going well?
    -[X] Regardless of his answer, you won't decide on this just yet.
    [X] A place in the Scholarum where his name will mean nothing beside whatever clever working his mind might conjure, there he might rise high regardless of his past (Smooth his way, open doors, put a whisper in the right ears to keep him from being stonewalled)
    [X] A quiet retirement to a small manor house staffed with and monitored by inquisition agents.
    -[X] Have a jailer's and prisoner's ring pair made as per a Dungeon Ring set, to be used to monitor Tyrion by his handlers.
    [X] A place in the Scholarium of Mantarys as Tyrion Hill.
    -[X] Like all former Lannisters with the power, finances or connections to become a problem, the Inquisition will monitor him and take necessary steps to ensure the stability of the realm if necessary.
    [X] You will grant him a place in Mantarys with a new name that is not Lannister to start anew.
    -[X] Cogently point out that Tywin has already made that name into a byword for many unpleasant things, but folly foremost among them. You don't particularly care what name he chooses, it can be as grandiose as he wishes, but try not to remind everyone you were a Lannister. He is unlikely to turn back the clock on that even if he worked at it for a thousand years (mostly because it is obvious that Viserys is deadset on ensuring no one makes any progress on it). At the very least, in Mantarys no one knows Tyrion, or really cares for his background. Most of them will care more for his skill with magic or the quickness of his mind.
    --[X] To engender a bit more good will, offer the work of your Fleshcrafters. Bodily deformities to get around in Mantarys, but it would wipe away the last physical reminder of his past for him to no longer be a dwarf.
    ---[X] make Tyrion the guardian of the remaining Lanister family members and have them moved with him to Mantarys including the incest spawn this will act as another chain around Tyrions neck as he would be responsible for his family's welfare discouraging him from taking risks like adventuring or rebellion while masking it as a kindness while also conveniently removing the Lanister Royal bastards from play since they will be in a city ruled by angles in the opposite end of the empire as far from Westeros and those who could use them as we can put them while being within our power (plan make Joffrey paladin of lawful good is a go)
    [X] His Freedom as Tyrion Casterly, and all the other Lannisters who will forsake that name and take his, should they pledge their loyalty to us.
Click to expand...
 
Remove ads
Part MMMDCCLX: The Dragon and the Nameless
  • Threadmarks
    • The Dragon and the Nameless ​

    Fifteenth Day of the Fifth Month 294 AC

    Someone had been forethoughtful enough to get the young man a chair fit for his stature, but carved of the same pale goldenwood as the rest of the sitting room. If there is one thing the palace staff does not lack for, it is experience with those of odd shape or appearance, but you are glad indeed that kindness was shown here for it shall be hard enough for the former scion of House Lannister to see this to the end without the reminder of that which has followed him like a blight all his life.

    'Dwarf' they had called him and other ill names besides, for it is the nature of men to think that a comely face holds a worthy soul and one less comely must be the sign of some inner blight. Some had even thought to name him bastard, softly in the hearing of his father granted, but not so soft that he would not hear. It was this latter rumor that had made you change your thought as to the name he might take. Hill which you had planned for all the former Lannisters as a mark of their casting out from the nobility of Westeros might be taken for something else entirely when it came to Tyrion, and your mother would not have the memory of Joanna Lannister, whom she had once named friend, besmirched so.

    "Come to proclaim my doom, Your Majesty?" The tone is light, almost as in jest, though bitter is the smile upon the lips that speak it. "I must confess a certain curiosity in the matter and not just of the base sort. All the rumors I have been hearing rather fall flat of the proper grandeur I would expect of the proclamations of a dragon." The last was said in draconic, book learned, but well spoken. Varys had not been mistaken on this, at least.

    "Whatever rumors you have been hearing, master Tyrion, I can assure you none have the ring of truth for I have shared my mind in this matter with none before coming here to speak with you," you reply in like tongue. "It seemed to me only fair that you should hear my judgement first and from mine own lips." You pause and consider him, the young man not that much older than you, with hair of gold and hair of black, one eye green and one dark, both of them watchful. "And if you would think of it as doom, I shall not stop you, but life even with dragons and devils and angels that walk among men is not a poem to be declaimed."

    "Well, what is it then?" he asks, playing long gamely enough.

    "A ledger and you would not wish to find yourself paying the debts of House Lannister." You offer a smile, brief but true. "Nor should you. You find yourself a mage, master Tyrion, in an age where magic is dawning again and there is much need for the skills of sorcery, even unto the furthest parts of my realm. In Mantarys, far from the wars and the feuds of Westeros, you should have the chance to make a new life on your terms, leaving behind a name leaden with ill fortune and ill deeds. "

    Tyrion snorts, though he tries to make the sound into more of a sniff at the last moment. "You could make mugwort tea smell sweet as honey, Your Majesty, but..."

    "Healers use mugwort as a digestive, do they not?" you interject. "Perhaps you should not focus on what it tastes like upon the tongue, but how it may aid you through the years to come."

    "I did actually choose that tea with a purpose, but now I cannot use it in my own metaphor," he replies with a mock-scowl. "You, Your Majesty, are a thief..."

    Rather than speak up, you let the silence linger, guessing there is some jape and some test to it. You might have been upset at it under other circumstances, but a man disarmed and captive has no tool but his words and his boldness to guide his fate in the world.

    "A thief of words, of course, for what else could you have stolen from a dwarf who had naught but his father's scorn?" he finishes and you smile, but you see in his mismatched gaze that the words are not full truth. He would ask for clemency for Gerion and for Lanna if he could, but he has no leverage and no leg to stand on. "Though on the matter it seems too much to hope that my name should be forgotten in Mantarys or elsewhere, seeing me as I am."

    Ah, now you step on shifting ground and must tread with care. "The flesh-smiths ply their craft with skill and at the call of the throne with speed also."

    His lips tighten, though there is longing also writ upon his face. "It'll be enough of a change to my name without a new face."

    You nod in understanding, more of it perhaps than he suspects. "Mayhap when you will have gotten used to the former you may wish to make use of the latter. The offer remains open, Master Tyrion. "

    For a long while there is silence, broken only by the soft sighing of the rain outside the window, then at last he asks. "What is to happen to Cersei's children, and.... well, it still feels strange to say aloud, and Jaime's. There is no point hiding that I care for them more for the sake of their father than their mother."

    There is an old pain there, one that runs deeper than you imagine the thoughtless comments of one such as Cersei Lannsister might go. You do not test it, but answer honestly. "Tommen shall go to Braavos, to foster in the Palace of the Sealord. I can well attest that city can give a boy quite the education, if he has but the ears to listen and take heed. Myrcella shall go east to Quarth where the Warlock promised to care for her with all honors as a potential new recruit for their order, of which they find few, and as for Joffrey, I plan to have him squired to a knight with honor, though I have not yet decided upon the name."

    "Jaime would have liked that last part." A wistful expression that is as close to unguarded as you have seen on Tyrion steals across his features. He had wept for his brother, that much you know from the mimics in his room. You imagine he would like you a good bit less if he knew you had ordered his death, but to know that he would have to see through the deceptions of Bloodraven. Clever is Tyrion no-more-a-Lannister, and not unskilled in magic, but beside Brynden Rivers he is as a child with a willow branch and a shield of wicker beside a knight in full armor.

    You leave his company well content that you had tied off that thread and can move on.

    What next?

    [] Move on to the Opening of the Curia

    [] An interlude
    -[] Write in from who

    [] Write in

    OOC: And here we are, a good bit of Viserys being preternaturally observant, though he did not have much cause to dig deep. Not yet edited.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • DragonParadox said:
    There is an old pain there, that runs deeper that you imagine the thoughtless comments of one such as Cersei Lannsister might go. You do not test it but answer honestly. "Tommen shall go to Braavos, to foster in the Palace of the Sealord. I can well attest that city can give a boy quite the education if she has but the ears to listen and take heed. Myrcella shall go east to Quarth where the Warlock promised to care for her with all honors as a potential new recruit for their order, of which they find few and as for Joffrey I plan to have him squired a knight with honor though I have not yet decided upon the name."
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Look, I know this is planned to split them up, but you all do realise you are preparing a classical four-person party here?

    Joffrey the knightly meat-shield, Tommen the Rogue skillmonkey (possibly with backstabbing for damage), Myrcella the Face (Warlocks are surprisingly good at that) and lastly Tyrion the Wizard.

    Now I'm not saying they'll manage to bring us down in a decade or two, but I do hope that fate conspires to give them a good shot.
     
    Last edited:
    DragonParadox said:
    The Dragon and the Nameless ​

    Fifteenth Day of the Fifth Month 294 AC

    Someone had been forethoughtful enough to get the young man a chair fit for his stature, but carved of the same pale goldenwood as the rest of the sitting room. If there is one thing the palace staff does not lack for, it is experience with those of odd shape or appearance, but you are glad indeed that kindness was shown here for it shall be hard enough for the former scion of House Lannister to see this to the end without the reminder of that which has followed him like a blight all his life.

    'Dwarf' they had called him and other ill names besides, for it is the nature of men to think that a comely face holds a worthy soul and one less comely must be the sign of some inner blight. Some had even thought to name him bastard, softly in the hearing of his father granted, but not so soft that he would not hear. It was this latter rumor that had made you change your thought as to the name he might take. Hill which you had planned for all the former Lannisters as a mark of their casting out from the nobility of Westeros might be taken for something else entirely when it came to Tyrion, and your mother would not have the memory of Joanna Lannister, whom she had once named friend, besmirched so.

    "Come to proclaim my doom, Your Majesty?" The tone is light, almost as in jest, though bitter is the smile upon the lips that speak it. "I must confess a certain curiosity in the matter and not just of the base sort. All the rumors I have been hearing rather fall flat of the proper grandeur I would expect of the proclamations of a dragon." The last was said in draconic, book learned, but well spoken. Varys had not been mistaken on this, at least.

    "Whatever rumors you have been hearing, master Tyrion, I can assure you none have the ring of truth for I have shared my mind in this matter with none before coming here to speak with you," you reply in like tongue. "It seemed to me only fair that you should hear my judgement first and from mine own lips." You pause and consider him, the young man not that much older than you, with hair of gold and hair of black, one eye green and one dark, both of them watchful. "And if you would think of it as doom, I shall not stop you, but life even with dragons and devils and angels that walk among men is not a poem to be declaimed."

    "Well, what is it then?" he asks, playing long gamely enough.

    "A ledger and you would not wish to find yourself paying the debts of House Lannister." You offer a smile, brief but true. "Nor should you. You find yourself a mage, master Tyrion, in an age where magic is dawning again and there is much need for the skills of sorcery, even unto the furthest parts of my realm. In Mantarys, far from the wars and the feuds of Westeros, you should have the chance to make a new life on your terms, leaving behind a name leaden with ill fortune and ill deeds. "

    Tyrion snorts, though he tries to make the sound into more of a sniff at the last moment. "You could make mugwort tea smell sweet as honey, Your Majesty, but..."

    "Healers use mugwort as a digestive, do they not?" you interject. "Perhaps you should not focus on what it tastes like upon the tongue, but how it may aid you through the years to come."

    "I did actually choose that tea with a purpose, but now I cannot use it in my own metaphor," he replies with a mock-scowl. "You, Your Majesty, are a thief..."

    Rather than speak up, you let the silence linger, guessing there is some jape and some test to it. You might have been upset at it under other circumstances, but a man disarmed and captive has no tool but his words and his boldness to guide his fate in the world.

    "A thief of words, of course, for what else could you have stolen from a dwarf who had naught but his father's scorn?" he finishes and you smile, but you see in his mismatched gaze that the words are not full truth. He would ask for clemency for Gerion and for Lanna if he could, but he has no leverage and no leg to stand on. "Though on the matter it seems too much to hope that my name should be forgotten in Mantarys or elsewhere, seeing me as I am."

    Ah, now you step on shifting ground and must tread with care. "The flesh-smiths ply their craft with skill and at the call of the throne with speed also."

    His lips tighten, though there is longing also writ upon his face. "It'll be enough of a change to my name without a new face."

    You nod in understanding, more of it perhaps than he suspects. "Mayhap when you will have gotten used to the former you may wish to make use of the latter. The offer remains open, Master Tyrion. "

    For a long while there is silence, broken only by the soft sighing of the rain outside the window, then at last he asks. "What is to happen to Cersei's children, and.... well, it still feels strange to say aloud, and Jaime's. There is no point hiding that I care for them more for the sake of their father than their mother."

    There is an old pain there, one that runs deeper than you imagine the thoughtless comments of one such as Cersei Lannsister might go. You do not test it, but answer honestly. "Tommen shall go to Braavos, to foster in the Palace of the Sealord. I can well attest that city can give a boy quite the education, if he has but the ears to listen and take heed. Myrcella shall go east to Quarth where the Warlock promised to care for her with all honors as a potential new recruit for their order, of which they find few, and as for Joffrey, I plan to have him squired to a knight with honor, though I have not yet decided upon the name."

    "Jaime would have liked that last part." A wistful expression that is as close to unguarded as you have seen on Tyrion steals across his features. He had wept for his brother, that much you know from the mimics in his room. You imagine he would like you a good bit less if he knew you had ordered his death, but to know that he would have to see through the deceptions of Bloodraven. Clever is Tyrion no-more-a-Lannister, and not unskilled in magic, but beside Brynden Rivers he is as a child with a willow branch and a shield of wicker beside a knight in full armor.

    You leave his company well content that you had tied off that thread and can move on.

    What next?

    [] Move on to the Opening of the Curia

    [] An interlude
    -[] Write in from who

    [] Write in

    OOC: And here we are, a good bit of Viserys being preternaturally observant, though he did not have much cause to dig deep. Not yet edited.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Here's an edited version of the chapter, DP.
     
    Reader mode
    You must login or register to reply here.
    Remove ads
    Back
    Top