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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Maesters: "Imperator, what is catharsis?"

Viserys: "To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women."

Break their will. It will tenderize their soul and marinade their despairs.
 
TalonofAnathrax said:
I'm not too hyped on seeing the rest of this conversation, honestly. "Westerosi Lord has his preconceived ideas shaken by the world being weirder than he expected" isn't exactly a new storyline.
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Seconding, frankly.
This feels like an extension of a "person visits SD, gawks"-concept.
A bit different, sure, but still mite stale.
 
Westori Lords: "He make fiendish pacts with the devils. He is untrustworthy!!!"

The Devils: *reading the contracts we gave them*
"Huh, an actual health insurance plan. Suck it Mammon! "
 
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egoo said:
Seconding, frankly.
This feels like an extension of a "person visits SD, gawks"-concept.
A bit different, sure, but still mite stale.
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Considering this is more or less the last time this sort of thing will be happening, I think it deserves to play out on-screen. The Reconquest marks the moment where the entirety of Planetos definitely embraces the standard D&D high fantasy setting. After spending years of out-of-universe time progressing the quest through an "emerging magics" setting, I think the culture clash trope deserves its last hurrah.
 
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Daredevil_Dave said:
Westori Lords: "He make fiendish pacts with the devils. He is untrustworthy!!!"

The Devils: *reading the contracts we gave them*
"Huh, an actual health insurance plan. Suck it Mammon! "
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I mean, they literally have a health insurance plan. IIRC the whole resurrection guarantee if they are killed in our service without subsequently being punished/demoted threw the Erinyes through a loop the first few time we actually did it.
 
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Duesal said:
Putting sewers in that fucking city will be amazing.
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Well the construct sanitation system action is 1/20 of population which is lists in the accounting sheet for king's landing and 1,000. So doing that will take 50 progress to do so, it might require more then one turn. It might require the use of some Tita... oh you wait where you actually proposing an action or was that just a metaphor?

... Hard to tell.
 
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Goldfish said:
I wonder how much "humble credit" we get for bringing worship of the Seven into the Imperium in a non-prominent, perhaps even subordinate role, given the number of other religions and the prevalence of some, like the Red Faith, which we are so much more closely allied with. It's not quite smacking the High Septon with a trout and taking a dump on the steps of the Great Sept, but it should count for something.
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Nearly forgot.

There's a reason I want to drop our massive ego right next to the Great Sept of Baelor. Beside the not inconsiderable chance of the High Septon falling to his knees before us, it also means that we will be symbolically leading a lot of people away from the sept and to the Red Keep. Or away from religious authority and towards secular* authority.

* Terms and conditions may apply. Ask no questions, but have faith citizen, for the Imperator loves you.
 
ryuan said:
Did Joffrey had the time to grow into a shit goblin this time around?
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I'd bet on it, since it's fairly likely that many of his issues are from Cersei exposure during his formative years and neurological problems since his conception was a half step from masturbation from a genetic perspective.

Sure you could say the same about Viserys, but dragons are bullshit and he's long since replaced his monkey suit with a draconic model. For the poor bastards running on normal dna its a really good thing we offer high quality public healthcare.
 
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BronzeTongue said:
I'd bet on it, since it's fairly likely that many of his issues are from Cersei exposure during his formative years and neurological problems since his conception was a half step from masturbation from a genetic perspective.

Sure you could say the same about Viserys, but dragons are bullshit and he's long sense replaced his monkey suit with a draconic model. For the poor bastards running on normal dna its a really good thing we offer high quality public healthcare.
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It's certain a risk, but I have a feeling Lesser Phoenix orphanage minders are more than up to the task of catching those sorts of issues early on. I dare say they might be able to teach him some kind of empathy.
 
BronzeTongue said:
I'd bet on it, since it's fairly likely that many of his issues are from Cersei exposure during his formative years and neurological problems since his conception was a half step from masturbation from a genetic perspective.

Sure you could say the same about Viserys, but dragons are bullshit and he's long sense replaced his monkey suit with a draconic model. For the poor bastards running on normal dna its a really good thing we offer high quality public healthcare.
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Honestly, fixing genetic flaws should be within our range of abilities, even if it requires some work directly in the Fleshforge.

Cersei's education is far harder to deal with.
 
Depending on how long Cersei had been a member of Lolth's clergy and how deeply the Spiderbitch sunk her claws in, there's a small but decent chance her attitude and behavior toward Joffrey could have taken a dramatic turn for the indifferent or even abusive in recent times. I'm not saying she still wasn't well on her way to ruining him as a Human being, but his experiences in the last year or two could be much different than we might otherwise expect.
 
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