A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover
- Thread starter DragonParadox
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- a song of ice and fire a sword without a hilt d&d 3.5 dungeons & dragons 100% high octane dragon fuel ave corvidae battle action dragon diplomacy best sister bureaucromancy delicious soul-stuff dragon dreams come true dragon ta'veren greatest uncle hubris is a coward's word in defiance of gods and men mammon's folly mutually assured mage's disjunction qm murderhobo top tier coatl
- Location
- Germany
Sounds like a nice fellow, and if not, diluted kingsblood might still have some value.
- Location
- Brazil
The name is familiar, who's that?
Goldfish
Friendly Spider-Fish Abomination
- Location
- Formerly of the Far Realm
A Meeting Unlooked For
Twenty-Fourth Day of the Tenth Month 293 AC
The fleet had arrived in Port Moraq along with the last rays of the sun spilling down from behind tall mist-shrouded cliffs crowned in dark tangled jungle that reminded Theon Greyjoy of the shattered boneyard of Gogossos. Where that mournful ruin was silent and still save for the shrieks of Painted Lizards and the distant calls of stranger beasts, the city that guarded the northern shore of the Cinnamon Straits was very much loud. Ten-thousand lights glittered atop tall graceful spires in expectation of the coming night, but by far the most impressive sight to Theon's eye was the great clock set into the tallest tower. He had not thought such things could be found outside Sorcerer's Deep where the Dragon King had commanded them raised by sorcery.
No, not a clock, he realized a moment later, some sort of astrological circle. Captain Moonsong would probably want to visit... and knowing her she might just try to fly up there just to see the reactions of the locals. Thank Snake, Tree, and Sea it wasn't his job to deal with the locals. Poor Captain Diana had been run ragged explaining the Tree Ship, and the Herald was lucky to be made of unsleeping steel rather than mortal flesh. If one had to sail, and he was willing to admit he was starting to enjoy it, then the best way to do it was without a captain's hat dragging one's head down. If every captain was a king of a realm of wood, rope, and canvas, then he would rather be the court minstrel, drinking all the wine and making all the ladies sigh.
Sing us a saga
Tell us a story
Tales full of hammers
Full of dragons and stones
Sing us a saga
Tell us a story
Sing us a saga
Tell us a story
Tales full of hammers
Full of dragons and stones
Sing us a saga
Tell us a story
Sing us a saga
The rowing song was so faint that Theon thought it nothing more than the voice of memory lost in the crash of the waves, until the man next to him on the prow of the ship called out: "Is that a fucking longboat?"
The young Greyjoy heir swore. 'A fucking longboat' it was indeed, with a single mast looking down upon deck crowded with oarsmen, their shields slung out over the side and a carved sea dragon head for its prow. How such a ship even made it this far east through harsh seas and unknown currents was more than he could guess, but it was coming into harbor, pulling close to the Rhaella to gawk at her.
"Prettiest ship I ever did see," the man at the prow, likely the captain whistled.
"Why thank you, kind ser," the ship's dryad giggled close enough for Theon to hear her, though thankfully not enough for the Ironborn to do so.
The spirit was not the only one looking on with interest. "They have got to have some sea skill to make it this far," Asha noted. "Think they would be up to signing on with a Greyjoy to head even further east? If nothing else I'd like to hear their story."
"Sea skill or darker dealings," Theon shot back darkly. "Best leave them be if they do the same to us."
"If they hold with the fish-fuckers we can kill'em and loot'em as long as we do it quietly," his sister shrugged. "There's gotta be something worth taking aboard that ship."
As though called up by her words a shout rang out from the longship: "Hail, and what manner of folk are you who talk Common but sail with mermen?" They must have spotted some of the Tritons.
"We're dragonmen, here," Theon replied, without any of the self-consciousness he had once felt saying so. "Whose asking?"
"Harren Half-Hoare they call me, sailor on the Sunrise Seas. I've passed the Jade Gates nine times and nine times back. I've seen the shores of Leng and the black waters at the mouth of the Ash River, but I've never laid eyes on a fleet quite like this one."
"Do you lot keep to the Drowned God?" Theon snapped, wanting to get an answer before Asha set foot on the damn boat.
"Only in a storm," the fair-haired warrior laughed. "In port we keep to the God of Tits and Wine, and we're looking to pay him a hell of a prayer and libation, aren't we lads?" The question was met with a raucous cheer.
Asha looked more interested by the moment. Fuck.
OOC: I thought about sending the fleet to Zabhad, but what little we knew about it from canon did not draw me, so I went with Port Moraq. Also I know the rowing song does not rhyme, it's mostly just supposed to keep rhythm I think.
Ah, Tyrion, it looks like you aren't the only adherent to the God of Tits and Wine.
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- Location
- Germany
No canon-story, just a captain of the Ironborn with nothing but a short mention that he voted for Euron in the Moot.
The name is known because Mel just recently re-killed Harren Hoare, Black Harren, the builder of Harrenhall.
Goldfish
Friendly Spider-Fish Abomination
- Location
- Formerly of the Far Realm
Harren Half-Hoare
Harren Half-Hoare is an ironborn raider. His relation to House Hoare is unknown.
- Location
- United States
He was one of the supporters for Euron Greyjoy during the canon Kingsmoot.
EDIT: Double-Faceless'd.
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- Location
- Mexico
Alright, nap time's over.
who needs my votes?
nice work on the propaganda, I reminded me of the propaganda in Bioshock Infinite's Columbia, we just need to add a series of short stories for children about Lanno and Corlys, "When demons appear, Lanno hides and tells no one, Corlys goes to the Inquisition so they can deal with it, Remember kids! Don't be a Lanno!"
And then there is Alyn who picks up a large stick and goes to fight the demon. Ninety-Nine out of one hundred Alyns die a horrible death. Number one hundred becomes a PC.
- Location
- Mexico
Good level Demons are always worth it as sacrifices, they need to specialize in capture and Abyss raids will always be profitable for those who dare them
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- Location
- United States
If they start doing this they will quickly work their way up the Best Minion ladder.
@Goldfish, just realized, for the Valyrian Steel/Mithril mirror, you need to have something separating the two metals or else the Valyrian Steel will eat the Mithril. That or use something other than Valyrian Steel, like Adamantine or something.
*glances at vote*
If I do an Yi Ti interlude now we won't have a vote overnight, I think I'll just move on to the next Viserys update and then do Yi Ti tomorrow, does that sound good?
If I do an Yi Ti interlude now we won't have a vote overnight, I think I'll just move on to the next Viserys update and then do Yi Ti tomorrow, does that sound good?
Goldfish
Friendly Spider-Fish Abomination
- Location
- Formerly of the Far Realm
I think that can be assumed to have been accounted for in the crafting process. @DragonParadox?
- Location
- United States
Fair enough, just wanted to make sure our gift didn't fall apart after we left. That would have been unfortunate to say the least.
You can assume a lining was used between the VS and Mithril. Anyway judging from all the likes I got I'd say there's support for an update.
Vote closed.
Vote closed.
So for the next edition of the times, do you guys think it'd be worth the effort to get our various fey minions to write out their stories as they want them told, then circulate them across Westerios and the empire? It'd help make the fey easier to connect to for normal people, and power level the hell out of them. Really, any sort of role in such a far reaching mechanism would be like catnip for them.
We could have Glya tell a simple little children's story about how she became the mightiest gremlin, and write some semi regular Aesops teaching them how to use imperial services or keep safe ( like those safety videos they make to teach kids how to call the police/fire department irl). We could make her into the Elmo of Planetos.
Moonsong could write plays about her travels for the mirror vision, and get similar buffs.
If fey leveling works the way I'm assuming it does they'd get a lot more power, and demonstrate to other fey that we're an excellent boss in a way they care about.
On an unrelated note; does the Imperium qualify as an empire yet? I'm hazy on the actual size, but from the perspective of anyone in Westerios pretty much all of their neighbors have been absorbed or are only reachable by crossing Viserys' territory. That seems worthy of a new empire to me, but the line between kingdom large and small empire can be blurry.
We could have Glya tell a simple little children's story about how she became the mightiest gremlin, and write some semi regular Aesops teaching them how to use imperial services or keep safe ( like those safety videos they make to teach kids how to call the police/fire department irl). We could make her into the Elmo of Planetos.
Moonsong could write plays about her travels for the mirror vision, and get similar buffs.
If fey leveling works the way I'm assuming it does they'd get a lot more power, and demonstrate to other fey that we're an excellent boss in a way they care about.
On an unrelated note; does the Imperium qualify as an empire yet? I'm hazy on the actual size, but from the perspective of anyone in Westerios pretty much all of their neighbors have been absorbed or are only reachable by crossing Viserys' territory. That seems worthy of a new empire to me, but the line between kingdom large and small empire can be blurry.
- Location
- Mexico
I want to tell all of our stories, if mostly in a sanitized way.
Propaganda is good, but we need an incentive for people to pass the pamphlets around, entertaining stories will help with that.
Maybe also add a bit of "Cities of the world" section, with pictures of Mantarys, Lys, Braavos, Oldtown, etc, something to show the people our work with a bit of more familiar places so they know it's true.
Edit: and well, you know what would help everyone seek the pamphlets... Porn. Something classy, like Playboy, I'm guessing even Robert would collect them.
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Hey, propaganda can be a good story! It's why I was talking about Charles Dickens and Upton Sinclair.
- Location
- Mexico
Yes, I did not meant to say the stories would not be a part of the propaganda, but so far we mostly have political cartoons and a personal account of events.
We need something easier to digest, and that seems less personal while at the same time showing our friends and allies as heroes of the people.
- Location
- United States
No complaints so long as our secrets stay secret.
As for the porn just consult Azema, all the Lyseni, and Oberyn.
EDIT: I'm a big fan of the Cities of the World idea. We should make postcards.
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- Location
- Mexico
I said classy porn, not The Dornish wife, the soap opera.
"But surprise, for I am not Amyra, but her twin brother!"
*Dun dun dun*
"I am not angry that you sought to deceive me, but that you never noticed my love for you!"
*Amyra watches them from behind a pillar as a 2 hours sex scene ensues*
It was nominated to several awards in Dorne and banned in most of the civilized world.
But jokes aside, I was thinking of publicity for our brothels, though I agree that Azema would love the chance to organize it.
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