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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Not sure how happy I am with this, but wanted to get my thoughts out.

[X] Plan "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"
-[X] "You became my business when I plucked you from the deck of a ship rather than crushing you like an overripe melon. You sailed against my lands to bring death and destruction to all that I have built here, to murder my friends and family. I care not for your justifications, for your duty to the Usurper, your lout of a brother who would as soon piss on you as speak a kind word in your favor. Understand that I have been merciful in my dealings with you, far more so than I could have expected were our situations reversed. Despite your crimes, I have treated you with greater respect and honor than the Usurper ever has or ever will. Think on that, Stannis Baratheon."
-[X] "You will not leave this island before the ransom is paid. The Usurper cannot be bothered to secure his brother's freedom for a sum less than he will spend in a single season of tourneys and feasting. The being now known as Renly Baratheon, however, is more than willing to pay for your release, so eager is he to see his brother freed."
-[X] "That same being has all of your younger brother's memories, but rather than being a pale reflection of a reluctant boy lord, he is everything that the Renly you knew is not, a wise, just lord, well-loved by his people and bound by honor, such that upon learning of his true nature, he was devastated and immediately thought to abdicate to you. He is no spirit, no puppet, and he certainly no usurper, for it was your younger brother's own desire which placed him in Storm's End, to rule for him, to take his place because he was too weak to bear such responsibility."
-[X] "That said, I have no interest in seeing the Seven Kingdoms, a land united by my ancestors after millennia of fruitless conflict, brought low by civil war, nor the machinations of fiends and even darker powers. Will you restrain your pride and bullheaded arrogance long enough to speak with the being who until just a few minutes ago thought he was the true Renly Baratheon?"
-[X] "Before immediately jumping at the chance to take your ancestral seat at Storm's End, consider the Usurper's reaction to learning of these events. Do you think he will leave you in control, or perhaps appoint a Lannister as castellan until one of the royal children is of age?"
 
...is Goldfish trying to leave fenly in place? I'm a little confused as to the thrust of the diplomacy.
 
I imagine DP would get the counter-speech from all of your writings.
That said, it's time to smack that hammer against that heated lump of iron in the anvil.

[X] Azel
 
Mechanics wise, I want to appeal to Stannis sense of duty and bludgeon his opinion that we are just a pretender to death with it.

We are the rightful King of Westeros. We are capable of ruling. SD is the proof of that. We can protect the realm from the coming darkness. We are doing so right here and now when Robert failed yet again.

It's time that Stannis sees that we are in all ways objectively superior to Robert. He is ready for this as our last interaction has shown. It's time for him to break and this is the final blow.
 
We have like 50 reasons for this shit.

If we weren't talking to Stannis i'd add "i want an inn". :p

I also like the thought that we're going to unload on him a bit. That sounds like it might be healthy.

[X] Artemis1992

@Artemis1992 , maybe throw in a line about "an oppertunity to indulge in some base fucking compassion, not that I don't understand how hard it can be recognized considering how rare it is in this shithole*"

*world
 
Diomedon said:
...is Goldfish trying to leave fenly in place? I'm a little confused as to the thrust of the diplomacy.
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Nah, despite what Viserys says in the plan, I actually want Stannis to take Storm's End and cause a civil war, while the Renplacement joins us, preferably as governor of Tolos after we murder Relath.

Like I said, I'm not happy with the plan. Too rambling and unfocused. Just wanted to get the stream of thoughts out of my head.
 
I will say this. I think everything but the most simplest of votes, a declaration of intent, has too much of a chance of exploding.

DP knows what we essentially want out of this. I think one more hail mary is all we can really afford to waste on this. If Stannis is still too unwilling to see that we truly are capable of fulfilling the duty of a King whereas Robert is not, then it's hopeless. He'll continue to serve a King who is selling our Kingdom to Tywin fucking Lannister, one honor at a time.
 
Goldfish said:
Nah, despite what Viserys says in the plan, I actually want Stannis to take Storm's End and cause a civil war, while the Renplacement joins us, preferably as governor of Tolos after we murder Relath.
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Not sure Renly would make a good ruler in any of the eastern cities.

Too knightly, and I think honorable too. We want someone like him in the Reach/Stormlands/Vale, were those are useful qualities, not hinderances.
 
Goldfish said:
Nah, despite what Viserys says in the plan, I actually want Stannis to take Storm's End and cause a civil war, while the Renplacement joins us, preferably as governor of Tolos after we murder Relath.

Like I said, I'm not happy with the plan. Too rambling and unfocused. Just wanted to get the stream of thoughts out of my head.
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Fair enough. I'd rather aim for a rift between Stannis and Robert but have it fall short of war. Robert saying "hand over SE" and Stannis saying "No, it is mine by right," and Robert being unable to push the issue because Stannis has enough Storm Lord support behind him (would require a month or two transition).

Artemis1992 said:
Not sure Renly would make a good ruler in any of the eastern cities.

Too knightly, and I think honorable too. We want someone like him in the Reach/Stormlands/Vale, were those are useful qualities, not hinderances.
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I agree. Renly would make a good marshal commander type character, as well as a supporting bureaucrat. Like, head of the Tolos garrison, with Nymeria as one of his lieutenants, working closely with the local stuffed in the hotseat.

Edit: Give us a nice good cop/bad cop duo. Longer term Fenly would do okay helping command levies. He'd do pretty well in the Vale with his knightly-ness.
 
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The Reach, probably. I don't see the Tyrells asking for anything less than what Tywin got, even if we had three or four Kingdoms backing us.
Adhoc vote count started by Crake on Jan 7, 2018 at 11:27 AM, finished with 136528 posts and 10 votes.
  • [X] "Because it is my duty to protect the realm. Especially in times like these."
    [X] There's nothing going on here that's not my business.
    -[X] If the Stormlands are infested with Devils or were ruled by a Fey-puppet (not that this Renly turned out to be one) that would become my problem, either on taking my throne or earlier.
    -[X] If Renly gets replaced before paying your ransom I won't see any of it.
    -[X] If some fiends plan to ruin my reputation by making what everyone thinks is Renly kill himself or get replaced in my care that's certainly my business.
    --[X] I sometimes feel like everything happening in my general vicinity is my fucking business, because if I ignore it it will certainly become my problem in some capacity later on, so don't dare ask me why this is my business again.
    [X] Plan "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"
    -[X] "You became my business when I plucked you from the deck of a ship rather than crushing you like an overripe melon. You sailed against my lands to bring death and destruction to all that I have built here, to murder my friends and family. I care not for your justifications, for your duty to the Usurper, your lout of a brother who would as soon piss on you as speak a kind word in your favor. Understand that I have been merciful in my dealings with you, far more so than I could have expected were our situations reversed. Despite your crimes, I have treated you with greater respect and honor than the Usurper ever has or ever will. Think on that, Stannis Baratheon."
    -[X] "You will not leave this island before the ransom is paid. The Usurper cannot be bothered to secure his brother's freedom for a sum less than he will spend in a single season of tourneys and feasting. The being now known as Renly Baratheon, however, is more than willing to pay for your release, so eager is he to see his brother freed."
    -[X] "That same being has all of your younger brother's memories, but rather than being a pale reflection of a reluctant boy lord, he is everything that the Renly you knew is not, a wise, just lord, well-loved by his people and bound by honor, such that upon learning of his true nature, he was devastated and immediately thought to abdicate to you. He is no spirit, no puppet, and he certainly no usurper, for it was your younger brother's own desire which placed him in Storm's End, to rule for him, to take his place because he was too weak to bear such responsibility."
    -[X] "That said, I have no interest in seeing the Seven Kingdoms, a land united by my ancestors after millennia of fruitless conflict, brought low by civil war, nor the machinations of fiends and even darker powers. Will you restrain your pride and bullheaded arrogance long enough to speak with the being who until just a few minutes ago thought he was the true Renly Baratheon?"
    -[X] "Before immediately jumping at the chance to take your ancestral seat at Storm's End, consider the Usurper's reaction to learning of these events. Do you think he will leave you in control, or perhaps appoint a Lannister as castellan until one of the royal children is of age?"
    [X] Assume Medium Half Dragon.
    -[X] Put that STR into use.
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Adhoc vote count started by Crake on Jan 7, 2018 at 11:34 AM, finished with 136534 posts and 10 votes.
  • [X] "Because it is my duty to protect the realm. Especially in times like these."
    [X] There's nothing going on here that's not my business.
    -[X] If the Stormlands are infested with Devils or were ruled by a Fey-puppet (not that this Renly turned out to be one) that would become my problem, either on taking my throne or earlier.
    -[X] If Renly gets replaced before paying your ransom I won't see any of it.
    -[X] If some fiends plan to ruin my reputation by making what everyone thinks is Renly kill himself or get replaced in my care that's certainly my business.
    --[X] I sometimes feel like everything happening in my general vicinity is my fucking business, because if I ignore it it will certainly become my problem in some capacity later on, so don't dare ask me why this is my business again.
    [X] Assume Medium Half Dragon.
    -[X] Put that STR into use.
Click to expand...
 
DragonParadox said:
You think the iron is hot? No.. no... no, getting Stannis to change his mind is analogous to shaping a piece of iron by brute force alone.
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All the more reason to away with the subtle speeches and the well reasoned arguments.

I want to see Stannis floundering for an explanation. Anything to make the King in front of him go away.
 
Best way to do this would be to just say that this replacement he so derides is a purpose-crafted Lord out of the tales, and therefore probably the most able and honorable Lord in Westeros, by dint of being made to be so. Certainly with more of a spine than the original Renly, and charismatic in a way Stannis never could be.

Indeed, if we could replace half of the Lords of Westeros with changelings like that, we would. They'd be more loyal, better at all aspects of ruling and treat their subjects better.
 
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065tdsa said:
Best way to do this would be to just say that this replacement he so derides is a purpose-crafted Lord out of the tales, and therefore probably the most able and honorable Lord in Westeros, by dint of being made to be so. Certainly with more of a spine than the original Renly, and charismatic in a way Stannis never could be.

Indeed, if we could replace half of the Lords of Westeros with changelings like that, we would. They'd be more loyal, better at all aspects of ruling and treat their subjects better.
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Just means we must get better with the Arcanum-crafting.

Lawful-Earth-Fire for a competent, reliable, yet inspiring, ruler?
 
065tdsa said:
Best way to do this would be to just say that this replacement he so derides is a purpose-crafted Lord out of the tales, and therefore probably the most able and honorable Lord in Westeros, by dint of being made to be so. Certainly with more of a spine than the original Renly, and charismatic in a way Stannis never could be.

Indeed, if we could replace half of the Lords of Westeros with changelings like that, we would.
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That may be true, but we can never, ever say such a thing out loud. It's up there with mind control on things that would get our (mundane) enemies to stop fighting each other and unite against us, since it's basically "I'm going to replace you and everyone you care about (your family and peers) with fakes."
 
Diomedon said:
That may be true, but we can never, ever say such a thing out loud. It's up there with mind control on things that would get our (mundane) enemies to stop fighting each other and unite against us, since it's basically "I'm going to replace you and everyone you care about (your family and peers) with fakes."
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Not really, there's a laundry list of reasons we can't do it, the most obvious being that to replace someone in this matter they have to choose to sell their name to the fae. But it's a nice dream, and it really puts in perspective for Stannis that no, we do not give a single fuck about the legitimacy of the changeling, and that's because it's the better Lord.

Also, Stannis isn't going to manage to spread any tales worse than what's already said about us. Even if he has the material, he lacks the skill to use it.
 
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