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Heh. "Provisionally interested", indeed. It makes sense, from his perspective. He's essentially being offered a very sweet deal, but he wants to make sure it's genuine and not coming with nasty hidden surprises before accepting.

Plus, the guy probably does feel some gratitude towards Paul (and the Green Lantern Corps, even) for freeing him. Paul explicitly pointing out (and demonstrating) that Vril Dox(sp?) is in a position to refuse his offer probably won him points, too--going out of his way to show Dox that his bargaining position was actually better than he thought it was is not something that someone who is making you an offer in bad faith (or out of purely selfish interest) does. Not to mention how the offer is to make him Paul's superior--it shows that Paul has faith in him and clearly doesn't just intend to use him like a tool.

The offer itself is probably highly appealing to him, too. If what he wants is to lead a force of order and justice in the galaxy, Paul is offering him practically the biggest and fastest head-start on that goal possible--being in charge of a Lantern Corps and a leading influence on a major galactic power and its resources, military, etc.

There's also how this all looks to the GLC members present, too. Here is the second Orange Lantern, and the first sane one, going out of his way to liberate a prisoner suffering from torture in order to offer someone else a leadership position over himself. If orange light is supposed to be all about avarice, it shows remarkable self-control, wisdom, enlightenment, humility, and sanity to actively seek to offer others power and authority over yourself.

Oh yeah, and there's another milestone: this was the first joint OLC/GLC operation (and the first actual collaborative action between an Orange Lantern and a Green Lantern outside of Sol), and it was a complete success.
 
He's essentially being offered a very sweet deal, but he wants to make sure it's genuine and not coming with nasty hidden surprises before accepting.
It probably helps that he knows what he's bringing to the table. He knows he's smarter than most of the galaxy. It's a generous deal, but also a pretty logical one; Paul gets a lot from it too.
 
Not that I can remember, I don't think anyone would have blamed him, though.

For example, one of his subordinates basically goes into Pon Farr and rapes him to death.

Fortunately for him he had the technology to fix that, and before he can complain to HR turns out they're having a baby.

Who's son then becomes a supervillain who deposes him, said son was still in diapers by the by, I believe.

After reclaiming his organization from his son, Stealth, the mother, gets killed by some of Dox's robots.

Then he gets reunited with the mother of his son, but she's a Black Lantern out to claim his heart for Nekron.

That soap opera family life just turned into the writers dicking with him at some point, I'd say.

Now I'm wondering what'll happen to the rest of the LEGION founders now that there won't be any such organization.
...DC, the heck? Just... starting with him being raped to death. Man... just the dark age of comics in general.
 
Vril Dox's ability/personality to limit emotional reactions to single characters is both impressive, worrying, and not especially suprising.
Once you are doing something because of those emotions it doesn't do anything to keep them around. It's like how you can't want something once you have it.
 
Vril Dox's ability/personality to limit emotional reactions to single characters is both impressive, worrying, and not especially suprising.

I was just about to say that, though using this line as an example.
"How long did you know I was here?"

Impressive self control, and I really like how we can pull so much information on the character from a bit of formatting.

I really do like the use of empathic coloured text in this story.
 
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Ancient one here:
My current speed would be deadly in an atmosphere, but in space it's fine. Shouldn't take me more than twenty minutes to reach Ganymede orbit, then maybe another twenty depositing him safely onto the surface.
Ganymede is a moon of Jupiter. Jupiter, at it's closest, is 33 light minutes from earth. OL is explicitly limiting himself to non-ftl travel to avoid popping his bubble of radioactive death, so unless his internal monologue is going very slowly and he's moving very quickly this should probably be a little bit longer.


(I'll take my award for "Most Nitpicky Correction" now.)
 
"A steering committee. For the project as a whole. With the Green Lantern Corps finally getting organised the fall of the Computer Tyrants is inevitable. I have another foe that needs to be fought, one with far larger holdings than a single planet. And you're the man whom I want to lead our efforts."

"And be my subordinate within the Corps." I nod. "A Lantern Corps wouldn't be enough to defeat the Reach. The Reach has anti-Lantern weaponry and combat doctrines, and the relative small size of the Green Lantern Corps suggests that recruitment is likely to be a bottleneck."
While the first of these two quotes, I can see why you might actually mean Green Lantern Corps, I can also see Orange Lantern Corps for it; which did you intend? For the second, I'm all but positive you mean Orange, and if you don't, you may want to clarify it to explain how Green makes sense.

Vril Dox's ability/personality to limit emotional reactions to single characters is both impressive, worrying, and not especially suprising.
I keep trying to imagine what it must sound like, with the word starting with human-like inflection and dropping swiftly to a Martian Manhunter-like near-monotone.

I think "Bear in mind" works better here.

I agree with Mr. Zoat's disagreement, here. Paul wasn't telling Vil Drox to "bear in mind," he was explaining that the proper context of requisitioning "whatever he can convince the Controllers" requires bearing in mind their post-scarcity production capacities.
 
I wonder what Dox's reaction to the Justice league would be.... since they have clashed with Brainiac a time or two and tend to come out on top?
Justice League 16 have never met Brainiac. Canonically, their first meeting was in 2015.
Ancient one here:

Ganymede is a moon of Jupiter. Jupiter, at it's closest, is 33 light minutes from earth. OL is explicitly limiting himself to non-ftl travel to avoid popping his bubble of radioactive death, so unless his internal monologue is going very slowly and he's moving very quickly this should probably be a little bit longer.


(I'll take my award for "Most Nitpicky Correction" now.)
Thank you, corrected.
 
Oh do you guys remember the jokes about Paul getting a shazam like deal?

Well I found something pretty funny- IDCAP, an inter pantheon group of deities formed to foster communication and mutually beneficial cooperation is comprised of Zeus, Odin, Ale, and Thoth.

IDCAP showed up when a group of evil gods impersonated them and approached Supes about apotheosis, claiming that Rao left Krypton for Earth, and was the progenitor of Earth's deities.

After the evil gods were chased of Supes asks "So was what they said about Rao true, by the by?"

Either Zeus or Odin, I can't remember, responded with "Never utter that name in my presence again!"

"Okay, never mind then."

Anyway, I'm now picturing an alt.Paul with the power of Zeus, the insight of Odin, the durability of Ale, and the knowledge of Thoth.
 
I suppose Vril Dox Ii is somewhat like the time lords as depicted in the fourth doctor episode 'the invasion of time', in which Borusa's mental defenses are perfectly goo,d but he is just sufficiently predicable that it doesn't matter.
It seems... somewhat silly that Vril Dox studied mental defenses, yet wouldn't be able to discover/create Batman's 'Color mingling' technique, where he doesn't feel particular emotions, just lets them sit in his background spiritual existence.
Also, random question, but wouldn't Paul consider Immortality through doing the Alan thing to be an ideal way to extend life? I can't really think of a reason why he wouldn't just configure rings so that they generate the flame effect leaking thing that kept alan young. I mean, yes it does gradually convert people into constructs elementally things, but it seems to be something that is worthwhile to pursue, and he was fine with doing it to Chanitelle.
How much would a travelling mage have to worry about thaumic activity in space if they wanted to use magic? My assumption would be that something like a Lord of Order/Chaos/Balance would be able to do it just fine, due to the whole 'power source' thing, but a normal mage probably wouldn't be able to.
 
More historical corrections as I binge:
Heads turn -or twist in Mister O'Brien's case- around to watch us.
O'Brian

I'm really not clear what Mr Freeman brings to a team that already contains Kal-El and Wonder Woman or what Mister O'Brien brings to anything.
O'Brian

There's a small ''boom' as her Machine Harbinger loses anti-matter containment
Mismatched quotes, also usually "antimatter"

"You know that expression and you didn't know 'to be honest'?"
Originally he had said "to be frank", not "to be honest".

Adams

Agent Bell wakes her right arm.
I think you meant "waves" but I'm not sure.

"A little warning in future!"
Is Beryl British? If not, "in the future".

O'Brien

He is one what? It feels like some other edit has broken what "one" refers to here.

A map appears in my mind, and its swiftly followed by Savage's memories of riding through this part of the world with a band of mercenaries two centuries ago, mixed with Ra's recollections from even further back. Euuuurrrrgh…
it's, Ra's'.

bulletproof

The magic holding Oceanus inside isn't absolute, you could probably still talk to him.
Semicolon or full stop and new sentence.

arm's

"That sounds fairly straight forward."
straightforward

I've met Eris, I've spoken to her in person on several occasions.
Semicolon or full stop and new sentence.

If you mean, 'is he inherently deserving of worship, I'd say not.
Missing quote.

They rather fell apart after their leaders died during a magic ritual in Glastonbury, the crater's still there if you want to look.
Semicolon or full stop and new sentence.

straitlaced

One fifth shields gone, they're reappearing but not fast enough to keep him safe.
"One fifth shields" seems a little off and I'm not 100% sure what you mean. "One-fifth of the shields gone"? Also, semicolon.

Well I found something pretty funny- IDCAP, an inter pantheon group of deities formed to foster communication and mutually beneficial cooperation is comprised of Zeus, Odin, Ale, and Thoth.
For everyone else's reference: Cosmic Teams!
 
I'm really hoping we get to see the initial meeting between Vril Dox and Hinon as they both brusquely poke the other in conversation and either find each other a refreshing change of pace or wish to murder each other.
 
For everyone else's reference: Cosmic Teams!

Yes, cosmic teams is a good source of info, didn't realize they included idcap though.

I would've included a link myself, but my computer broke, which is limiting my functionality here on the internet.

Not that I expect Zoat to use anything from that storyline, but combining that with the last god of krypton storyline and Superman and Wonder Woman are cousins, which amuses me.
 
The changes don't seem to have gone through - it says you edited it but the line is still the same. Unless you edited some earlier part of the post that I didn't notice.
The reference to FTL is replaced by one to transitioning. He warped space to get there within twenty minutes.
 
Ganymede is a moon of Jupiter. Jupiter, at it's closest, is 33 light minutes from earth. OL is explicitly limiting himself to non-ftl travel to avoid popping his bubble of radioactive death, so unless his internal monologue is going very slowly and he's moving very quickly this should probably be a little bit longer.
(I'll take my award for "Most Nitpicky Correction" now.)
Relativistic speeds.
The 20 minutes could have been his personal time frame, not a Earth POV time rate.
You raised a quibble and got Zoat to change something that was never a real issue at all.
Good work I guess?
 
The reference to FTL is replaced by one to transitioning. He warped space to get there within twenty minutes.
Ah, my bad.

Relativistic speeds.
The 20 minutes could have been his personal time frame, not a Earth POV time rate.
You raised a quibble and got Zoat to change something that was never a real issue at all.
Good work I guess?
True, but practically speaking he would have to be moving insanely fast to get there within 20 minutes from his reference frame. Yes, power ring, but he was being cautious and little things like dust and gas start to be a concern at sizable fractions of C.

Also, yeah it's a really, really tiny issue (if you could even call it a issue), but I figured I'd at least mention it and see if Zoat wanted to change it. No harm in tiny improvements.

Also, on the note of perceived issues, minor corrections, and anal retentiveness:

**Ring, what's happening?**

**What ring? Who is this?**

**You are engaged in telepathic communication.**

Oh.

**Who was that?**
The ring can communicate telepathically, at least when it can use the mind of it's user as a relay. Wasn't there a minor detail later on that reverse-engineering telepathy would require detailed simulations of a martian's brain (and thus Paul wouldn't do it)?
 
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Thoth's appearance is interesting, because the Arab-American kid who later became Ibis the Invincible in the Helmet of Fate series, I remember Thoth having something to do with his mystical abilities.

Thoth pretty much has everything to do with his magic, having crafted the ibistick from which Ibis gets his mojo back during the Pharaoh ages.

Actually Ibis 1 was a pharaoh, I'm now picturing Ibis and Adom having tea "I was mummified for 4000 years, and you? Oh say hello to Evila if you see her."

Evila being a third former pharaoh in the supers game.
 
Headhunted (part 24)
12th August
14:53 GMT


I look away from where Hinon is giving Dox an explanation of what a fully operational Central Power Battery is capable of, focusing my attention on the images of the Tamaranian princesses floating over my ring. "When you say 'gone', are we talking about them all performing hara-kiri, or..?"

Komand'r scowls. "Alas, no. We found abandoned sublight ships and bases… But the majority of Citadelian ships have left."

Koriand'r seems more sanguine. "Vega will be spared the harm they would have inflicted in their death throes. I do not see this as something to bemoan."

"
Lantern Green Man tell you anything?"

Komand'r nods. "Yes. That he cannot be expected to be everywhere at once. He was concerned by Amalak's fleet movements-."

I nod. "And ended up being in the wrong region of space to intercept the Citadelians." Darn. Still, that should be good for Vega at least. "What are the other Vega powers doing?"

Koriand'r's face disappears, being replaced with an image of a cluster of Branx ships. "Branx consortiums have taken over salvage operations at the former site of Citadel Complex."

"
Peacefully?"

Her face reappears. "With one another, yes. Others are fired upon."

"
And they're not trying to muscle in on territory anywhere else?"

"They are… Marking out areas of interest. Though they are much less brutal in their dealings than the Citadel were."

"
Right. I suppose we can live with that. And the Gordanians?"

"Those that are trying to seize territory are mostly fighting one another."
Komand'r grins predatorily. "I considered helping the weaker groups with the aim of getting more of them killed. But when my ring nearly turned itself off I realised that I had no stomach for working alongside such creatures."

"
And the Psions?"

The images of the sisters' heads turn to face one another for a moment. Then Koriand'r turns back to me and shakes her head. "Nothing. The ships that were close to the Citadel have returned to their Motherworld. We have neither seen nor heard anything about them becoming more active."

"
Any good news?"

Komand'r affects a mildly strained air. "The energy barrier around Euphorix still remains in place and the Okaarans are still selling themselves to anyone with goods to trade. And we haven't heard from our brother or his friends." Koriand'r shoots her an irked glare. "Though -to be fair- we have been moving around a good deal."

I nod. "Alright. I trust you to manage the Gordanians. Let me know if you need any assistance." They nod. "Two Eight One Four out."

I close my left hand, the construct heads disappearing as I drift back towards Hinon and Dox.

"…could probably throw a ship or two together for you, but I doubt that many of us would be prepared to spend the sort of time on it that would be required to assemble a fleet capable of launching a conventional invasion."

"I was under the impression that you were better motivated."

"My good man, what is the point of having minions if you have to do all of the grunt work yourself?"

"You achieve your objectives faster and more reliably."

Hinon huffs. "Alright, yes, we could throw ships together, but it wouldn't be all that fast-."

"
And do you really want to make yourself that dependent on Controller good will?"

They both turn to include me in their huddle. "Good news from Vega?"

"
Things are surprisingly peaceful. I'm just not sure why."

Dox considers my previous comment. "What did you mean by that?"

"Simple. The more someone else does, the less this is your thing. The more authority you give to someone else over the enterprise. And you only have finite time. Do you want to spend it arguing with Controllers or organising the fleet production networks of the hundreds of inhabited worlds being threatened by the Reach?"

"I am surprised that they expect me to argue with them at all."

"You don't see the Guardians making ships for Green Lanterns."

"There are nine Guardians left to cover the entire universe. I doubt that they could make enough ships to be worthwhile. We will be operating over a far smaller area. I already have enough data to begin the design work but I need a fleet in the field as quickly as possible, far faster than tributary shipyards can be brought into alignment. As things stand I'm not certain that I understand what it is that the Controllers bring to this arrangement."

"If I may..?"

"Oh, go ahead. We're talking in spirals at this point anyway."

"
Controller Hinon, how many Controllers have joined with the orange light so far?"

"Four. I believe that the rest are waiting to see if we go mad or explode before taking the leap."

"
The point Mister Dox is making is: what's your buy-in? A conventional military force doesn't really need Controllers at all. Lanterns need you to keep the Central Power Battery in good working order and to make personal lanterns and rings. But we don't really need the thirty or so Controllers who are planning on aligning themselves with the Battery. What is the faction as a whole doing that we should want to give you authority?"

"And I take it that you expect us to engage in manual labour?"

"
Needing ships into being is hardly that. My suggestion is that we agree a tariff. The Controllers agree to provide a certain amount of labour. Nothing offensive, but enough to get us in business faster and to encourage them to feel a bit proprietary about our forces."

"At the very minimum I'm going to need a large enough fleet to convince potential allies that I'm worth listening to. It would take a considerable amount of time to turn the relatively small shipyards I saw when we approached into something large enough to build such a force."

Hinon nods slowly. "I may be able to persuade them to accept such an arrangement. But it would help me immensely if I could present the final command and control structure as something that would salve their egos?"

"
We're going to be doing most of our initial recruiting from the Darkstars, then from people the Controllers have already helped escape the Reach. They'll be naturally inclined to accept Controller authority. As for the.. steering committee, my thoughts were that it be formed of a group of seven individuals. Three Controllers, the Director of the Darkstars, the Clarissi, the Illustres and the commander of the conventional military organisation, whatever that ends up being called. That gives the Controllers the largest say without giving them an absolute majority."

"I thought that you recruited me to organise this endeavour."

"Certainly. You'll have two votes as Clarissi and commander, and complete control of both organisations. Except where you've agreed a compromise in exchange for something you want in return. The whole point of the exercise is that it is always better for us to cooperate than compete with one another. Things should be run by compromise and consensus rather than majority votes in any case, and as your parts of the organisation have more to offer your negotiating strength will increase."

"And that of the Controllers will tend to decrease."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"
But it will hopefully nudge them into doing more in order to maintain their influence. Please note that I am not insisting. This is just a suggestion."

"One which is not without merit. So, Clarissi Dox, how exactly do you plan on starting our counterattack?"
 
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