Disciples at the Party
***
The roaring fire crackled and popped while Lang Yu watched from a safe distance, at the hedges' edge. People danced arm in arm around the fire to a heavy beat that felt as old as the mountains. A simple beat and a simple dance. Lang Yu didn't know the steps, but it seemed like it would be easy enough to figure out, even on the fly. She stayed where she was. Parties weren't for her.
Too much of a risk.
Through the years she had made that fact about herself clear. But this party was different. Lady Ling was hosting it as a sort of graduation finale, and it would be ungrateful in the extreme if Lang Yu refused, especially after the Caldera. For that at least she was willing to show some support, even though her fear wormed its way between her thoughts.
So now here she stood, mingling with a significant fraction of the lower five hundred, trying her best to parry away socialites. It was a trade off though. Wallflowers might hover at the edge of events, but so did a more unsavory sort of people.
"What an… interesting party." A voice said from behind her shoulder.
It took a great deal of effort not to roll her eyes as Lang Yu turned her head. Yan Xinyue was the son of a fourth generational baron, a baron known for little else but its stability. Everything about the Yan barony was average. Average crafters, average resources, average scions. This normally wouldn't be a problem. Better by far to be stable and average than to be unstable yet unique.
Yan Xinyue had made this averageness his problem to solve though, and if he was actually as suave as he thought he was, he might have had some success in the matter.
Alas, he wasn't.
"It certainly has a different energy compared to the events hosted by Lord Lu or Lady Cai." Lang Yu said after a long sip from her cup. He was a baron and she, at least for now, was a viscount.
"A kind way to put it." Yan Xinyue said. "But I wonder if such energy sits well with all the guests, look Lord Xuan doesn't seem to be enjoying himself at all."
Yan Xinyue must have cultivated a Way of poor timing, Lang Yu thought with a bit of dark humor. Just as he finished the sentence Lady Ling stepped out of the shadows, talked to Lord Xuan for a brief moment, and then taught him the steps of the dance.
"It seems that Lord Xuan simply didn't know the steps of such a traditional Emerald Seas dance, but at least it seems he was willing to learn the steps." Lang Yu said, forcing a touch of steel into her voice. Hopefully Yan Xinyue's shadow would stop darkening her presence soon. Well established barons really should have a better understanding of wordplay than this. "A virtuous attitude, wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes," Yan Xinyue said, and she could hear the grinding of his teeth over the beat of the music, "though one wonders what steps Lady Ling is learning from her foreign guest in return."
Honestly Lang Yu was starting to feel a little bad for the man. He was trying so hard. "Oh? I heard that Lord Xuan was Lord Wang's guest, where did you hear otherwise?"
She didn't bother listening to his hasty attempts at shifting blame for that slip. Before long the man slinked off, likely looking for some who shared his own views. Though judging by where the man was moving towards he would find an even less warm welcome soon.
Xiong Guiying was a fellow survivor of the Caldera attack and even more vocal in their support of Lady Ling. Lang Yu raised a toast for the man about to be set upon by the wolves.
Frankly he deserved it though. Complaining about the hostess at their own party was simply so gauche.
Hopefully with that bit of drama out of the way the rest of the evening would be smooth sailing. She might even retire early, keep the risks low.
"Lang Yu? Lang Yu!"
Her previous thoughts froze in her mind, dread, fear, and unease crawled up her spine. There was a reason she so rarely went to parties, so rarely interacted with others outside of sect assigned missions. That had started to change with Wang Chao's group, but perhaps it shouldn't have.
With almost wooden movement Lang Yu turned towards the voice. There, back lit by the roaring fire, stood a man. Duan Peng. He looked different now, his hair was cut shorter but he had grown a goatee. The mud, the blood, and the tears which so dominated her memories of him were long gone by now.
"Lang Yu, it is you!" Duan Peng said as he strode closer. "I am glad to see you again, it has been quite a while, hasn't it?"
"It has." Lang Yu said. A dull letter giving instructions flashed through her mind followed by the sharp bitter taste of shame that had never left her. "Since that tournament, no?"
Years later that shame had never left her. No matter how hard or high she climbed.
Duan Peng's bright smile faded a touch. "Yah," he said, hand rubbing the back of his head in an achingly familiar sight, "since that tournament."
There was a beat of silence between them.
"Well, this has been a lovely evening, but I really…" Lang Yu never finished her sentence.
The logs in the bonfire shifted and cracked. Sparks flew up and danced away. Lang Yu didn't see any of that. To her the cracking and shifting logs became the cracking and shifting earth of the Caldera, groaning under the assault of that rat's final technique.
For an instant she was back at the caldera, doomed to die no matter how she struggled.
"Hey, are you alright?" Duan Peng said, his voice shattering the memories in Lang Yu's mind.
"Yes." She said softly, allowing the qi about to surge into defense techniques fade back into her dantian. Then she sighed. "Tell me." Lang Yu said. "Why are you even talking to me? The sect has disallowed almost all forms of duels. What else do we have to discuss?"
Duan Peng sighed as well. "This isn't how I really wanted it to go." He muttered. "But very well. I just wanted you to know I forgive you."
Lang Yu stared at him. "Forgive me?" She asked. "Why?"
"Because I don't want to be angry anymore." Duan Peng confirmed. "I was angry, furious even, for a long time after that tournament." He laughed, it was a short weary sound. "In fact the first thing I did when I finally got into the inner sect was to look up your rank. Swore that I would work night and day until I surpassed you. Until I could be the one to shove you to the mud."
There was silence between them again. A longer silence. A silence that cut through the music and conversation.
"That anger really consumed me." Duan Peng said, continuing even as he shifted his gaze away from her, shifted it towards the fire they now were both looking at. There was a sadness in his eyes. "I let it drive my cultivation, destroy my friendships."
"What changed?" Lang Yu was forced to ask, whispering the words to the fire.
"That underground battle." He said. He didn't need to say which one, Lang Yu knew. "They just kept coming, no matter how angry I got." Duan Peng stared forward, flames dancing in his eyes. "In the end I was lucky, I survived, but not because of my anger."
One by one his words fed the fire.
"As I sat in the medicine hall," Duan Peng continued, "I realized that I wasn't important, that something vastly greater than my vendetta was happening. The medical hall staff that saved my life, they were part of something bigger than themselves, the formation workers that raised the defenses down in the deep, they were a part of something bigger than themselves. I realized on the bed that I wanted to be a part of something bigger too, but my anger wouldn't allow me."
He turned his head towards her. Even separated as they were by the gulf of her actions, Lang Yu could still see the sadness in Duan Peng's eyes. It wasn't a sadness for her, it was a sadness for his past self.
"Alone in that medical hall I realized exactly what my anger, my vendetta, had cost me." Duan Peng said, filling in the silence that Lang Yu couldn't bring herself to break. "In the end anger is a flame, a calamity unless leashed."
Those words meant something to Duan Peng. Lang Yu could feel it, if only barely, in the way qi shifted and stretched at the sounds. It would be appropriate to share some deep insight as well, a trading of ideas as it were. But Lang Yu had no words to give.
She had spent too long running away from this very meeting to build something up for herself.
"I don't think we can be friends again." Duan Peng said as he thankfully turned away from her and back to the fire. "But I can't move on until I let go, so I want you to know that I forgive you."
Lang Yu breathed deep, filling her lungs. "Duan Peng," she whispered as he started to turn away from her and before she could lose her nerve, "as a fellow sect disciple, would you care for a dance?"
Duan Peng paused. "I think that would be nice." He said.
The fire crackled and popped as they approached. Together they slid into the dance, into the laughter, into the music, like they had always belonged.
Arm in arm they danced around the fire, feeding it their shames and angers, their bitter memories and sleepless nights. They danced and laughed like they used to all those years ago when they were younger and freer, at least for a single round.
Then the time came to switch partners.
Lang Yu knew as she spun away and stomped her feet and clapped her hands that this was the last she would see of Duan Peng. At least for tonight.
Perhaps one day they would meet again, but they wouldn't meet as friends, or enemies. They would meet as fellow sect disciples working towards something bigger.
It was a better end than she deserved, and maybe now she could stop running and start building.
***
An omake for the omake throne
@yrsillar
This idea came to me when we voted for the building up BKSD option. Sometimes if you want to build something up you need a clean slate, and a conversation towards that is what I wanted to portray with this piece. Thank you for reading.