Ship of Fools: A Taylor Varga Omake (Complete)

Is it wrong i want Vectura to meet Florence Ambrose? or Dragon to meet Dr.Bowman

Yes, Florence would be good... Dr. Bowman needs a custom symbiont to tweak his neural architecture (rage issues, you know) and some time with the Nox. Him not dying of old age would... concern a lot of people. :)

(Yes, all those robots do count as people!)

Warning Deep Archive (of webcomics), comic started 1998, current thrice weekly, about 3800 story posts. Warning
 
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I still find it amusing that Taylor cracked the encryption on the tattoos just by thinking mildly hard and doing horribly complex math like it was easy.

Well, considering she can do math hard enough to warp the fabric of reality (as well as the reality of fabric), that's...probably not one of her more particularly impressive mathemagical feats.

a question...
which chapter was that?:???:
 
a question...
which chapter was that?:???:

Both tricks are done in the main Taylor Varga story. Taylor develops fractional dimension manipulating math early on which has proven rather useful. And gives most people a case of the screaming heebie jeebies. And more recently during a meeting with Faultline Taylor cracked the encryption on the Cauldron tattoo/barcode located on all Case 53 just by looking at it and mathing the encryption into submission. Didn't even take very long to do so.
 
a question...
which chapter was that?:???:
Both tricks are done in the main Taylor Varga story. Taylor develops fractional dimension manipulating math early on which has proven rather useful. And gives most people a case of the screaming heebie jeebies. And more recently during a meeting with Faultline Taylor cracked the encryption on the Cauldron tattoo/barcode located on all Case 53 just by looking at it and mathing the encryption into submission. Didn't even take very long to do so.
Specifically, here.

"We're comparing the missing parts of the tattoos," Lisa replied absently, concentrating on her screen.

"Why?" he responded with a glance at his boss. "They're random glitches as far as the common theories go. People have searched for some sort of pattern to them ever since they were first noticed, but no one can find one."

"They're not us," Taylor muttered, concentrating hard. The Varga was watching through her eyes and his and made a few suggestions, causing her to add search terms and examine the resulting new images.

No one said anything for twenty minutes, other than exchanging looks as they worked, collating images from both public sources and the PRT internal database using their affiliate access. Eventually, having tracked down over a hundred images of different tattoos covering both the obviously physically divergent Case 53s and the rarer human-appearing ones, she and Lisa leaned back on their tails.

"That's all the ones I can find that are good enough to see the defects," her friend said. "Is it enough?"

"Yes. I'm going to have to think for a bit."

"About what?" Newter burst out, unable to contain his curiosity. "What's so interesting about some tattoos with missing parts?"

"The missing parts are an encrypted code," Lisa said, turning to him.

He stared at her, then looked at Faultline, who seemed somewhat startled. "A code?" he echoed.

"A code," she confirmed. "They're not random at all. They've been run through an algorithm to add entropy to them like a password file on a computer, which makes them look random enough to fool most people."

"Even the PRT?" Faultline asked, sounding a little dubious. "I don't like them, but even I'll admit they have some fucking good people in their research departments."

"If we're right about Cauldron, it's entirely possible that they could suppress this research in the PRT without anyone noticing," the Varga pointed out. "Either by covering up the results, or just managing to divert interest away from a detailed examination of precisely this part of the puzzle. And in any case, breaking the code from such a limited sample set would be extremely difficult for human researchers in the first place, even assuming they realized what was there to begin with."

"We're much better at math than they are," Taylor smiled, still pondering the problem with most of her attention, the Varga and her working on the equations at a level she'd have found utterly impossible to explain to anyone else. Even Randall or Lisa would have had massive issues following more than a small amount of what they were coming up with. "Ah. Metis, go back to… four images ago in that series?"

"Sure, here you are," Lisa replied, clicking and dragging.

"Thanks…" She peered at the image and tested her mental calculations on it. "OK, yes, that makes sense."

"Got it?"

"Yep. It's two dimensional matrix very similar to a 2d bar code, like you see on shipping packages and that sort of thing, encrypted with a two hundred and fifty six bit key elliptic curve algorithm, then cut up and spread across the tattoo in a pattern based on Fibonacci prime numbers." She zoomed in on one image so that part of the tattoo filled the screen. "The missing dots encode just over a hundred characters in simple ASCII form, once you reassemble it, decrypt it and convert it from the matrix." Indicating the various groups of dots as she spoke, she added, "Each character string seems to have the same header, and ends in a thirty two bit checksum, like a record in a database."

"Which they are, I'm almost certain," Lisa put in.

"Look, this is what that one there decodes to," Taylor went on, indicating the PRT document that was open on the other monitor showing the tattoo belonging to a Case 53 called Gully, a Ward from San Diego. She typed a rapid string of text, then double-checked it and nodded.

They all looked at the result in the text editor she'd opened:

CXRD//EXD//00004086//F02-41/N01-25/W04-04/Q12-22/xxxxxx/B01-08//OE0001//010000000000//20080821//F5E37EC9

"So what does that mean?" Newter asked after a few seconds, sounding baffled.

"Well, the last eight digits are definitely a checksum, using a basic CRC32 algorithm," Taylor replied, tapping the screen over the numbers. "The field immediately to the left is obviously a date." Pointing at the other end of the cryptic string, she carried on, "The first field is the same in all cases. The next one is EXD in every case with visible physical differences from normal humans."

And as FK said, she's been doing universe-warping math since very near the beginning.
 
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Zeus has also cheated on Hera in the form of a shower of gold, a bull, a satyr, several eagles, a snake, an ant, a serpentine dragon, a dove, a shepard, a woman's husband and Artemis.

How he managed to pull off that last one while getting the girl (Callisto) pregnant without breaking the disguise is anyone's guess.

While Zeus is typically titled as a Storm\Lightning God, he is really more the patron God of Adultery than anything else.


Maybe Zeus started inviting Hera along? Maybe having threesomes, Foursomes , etc. is good for an immortals marriage. And it wouldn't really be cheating, just "The God and Goddess of Swinging."
 
Personally though, I'm trying to rack my brain for which starships had five hundred meter hulls to figure out which one Vectura wants to build.

Just for points of reference:

The Ambassador Class from Star Trek, e.g., U.S.S. Enterprise 1701-C, was 526 m long. (The -D was 643 m and the -E was 685 m, btw.)
The standard Goa-uld Ha'tak was about 1 km in diameter.
The Sulaco is 385 m long.
A Warhammer 40k Imperial Destroyer like the one where Peter and Taylor ended up is about 1.5 km (e.g., Cobra-class).
The Eiffel Tower is 324 m tall.

All of these taken from Jeff Russell's Starship Dimensions page (Jeff Russell's STARSHIP DIMENSIONS).

EDIT: Serenity is a relatively tiny 63 m.
 
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Just for points of reference:

The Ambassador Class from Star Trek, e.g., U.S.S. Enterprise 1701-C, was 526 m long. (The -D was 643 m and the -E was 685 m, btw.)
The standard Goa-uld Ha'tak was about 1 km in diameter.
The Sulaco is 385 m long.
A Warhammer 40k Imperial Destroyer like the one where Peter and Taylor ended up is about 1.5 km (e.g., Cobra-class).
The Eiffel Tower is 324 m tall.

All of these taken from Jeff Russell's Starship Dimensions page (Jeff Russell's STARSHIP DIMENSIONS).

EDIT: Serenity is a relatively tiny 63 m.
Indeed... I've seen a few sites and pictures with comparisons and size specs like that... and looked them over again when I started trying to think on this. Issue is that there are several in the 500 meter range, and trying to figure out which one our dear author would decide was her style isn't easy. That's not even considering though, that she could be rescaling a larger or smaller ship for some reason, or that she is coming up with a completely unique design of her own. Even if she is creating a ship from pop-culture, she's going to be redesigning a lot of it to fit what she and the Family are capable of that the original wouldn't be... so that adds a completely different level to consider as well. My first thought was something from Star Wars actually, but while several Medium Cruisers from the wiki would fit the size... but none stood out to me as 'big names' so to speak that would be copied... but the author might just like the look of one and decided to use it. Several others that I thought of fit the big name, but didn't match the size range given... but then, like I said, he could be planning to rescale the design for some reason and liked the look. I could be overthinking, but its still fun to try and figure it out and take guesses.

Edit - And sorry, I just realized you were the author... I've been working all day and I'm a tad exhausted right now. My points stand though, but thank you.
 
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True... but I don't believe the that truly matches the concept of what The Family leave in their wake. Still, a good starting point for consideration.
Harmony and chaos are not exclusive things. At most order and chaos are but they can exist in harmony together. Best description of the family? Chaotic good spreading harmony.
 
The real problem with using modern weapons against vampires and demons is the foe's speed and reaction time being far better then that of a human. Specialized ammunition like tracer rounds might take one out regardless of where you hit. Otherwise you would need a level of accuracy which is unlikely in the extreme to hit a joint or the spine while the vampire is charging you. And you might only have time for one or two shots before the monster is in your face. An area of effect weapon such as a buckshot loaded shotgun or a flame thrower might be effective, but with the shotgun you're again only going to have one to two shots. And the flame thrower could cause you additional problems such as setting the battlefield on fire... including where you are standing. Not to mention getting federal authorities called down on you.

Facing a demon can be far worse. How many demons are flat out immune to anything that isn't their one specific weakness? Sometimes that weakness might be easy to get your hands on. Other times it might be obscure. And while some weaknesses are common (cold iron, silver, and so on) others are unique to that one particular demon type (such as the Gentlemen from BtVS season 4 that can only be killed via the scream of a woman). Those demons will take steps to minimize the danger they are in by removing the ability to threaten them or by laying a lot of misinformation in advance. If you don't go in prepared to face that specific demon type, it's doubtful you have on you what's needed to deal with them.
 
The real problem with using modern weapons against vampires and demons is the foe's speed and reaction time being far better then that of a human.

Yeah, that's something that rarely gets touched on. And it's a valid concern. Humans are fast enough, with a little adrenal rush, to catch things like paintballs in flight. If you can catch a paintball it's not much of a stretch to catch an arrow — and deflection would be easier than a grab. Paintballs max out at around 300 feet per second. A sporting arrow from a recurve bow is around 350. Heavier arrows move slower, lighter ones move faster.

If a vampire truly is 4 times faster than a human, the only way a crossbow could ever work on one is if they were blindsided by the shooter or weren't accustomed enough to vampire speed yet for it to have occurred to them to try catching or deflecting the shot. The fastest fastball in baseball history is a bit better than half as fast as a paintball. Most pistol cartridges aren't four times faster than a paintball. Some rifle cartridges aren't four times faster than that paintball.

Facing a demon can be far worse. How many demons are flat out immune to anything that isn't their one specific weakness? Sometimes that weakness might be easy to get your hands on. Other times it might be obscure. And while some weaknesses are common (cold iron, silver, and so on) others are unique to that one particular demon type (such as the Gentlemen from BtVS season 4 that can only be killed via the scream of a woman). Those demons will take steps to minimize the danger they are in by removing the ability to threaten them or by laying a lot of misinformation in advance. If you don't go in prepared to face that specific demon type, it's doubtful you have on you what's needed to deal with them.

The Judge comes to mind for that. But here's the thing — you can parse 'no weapon forged by man' several different ways, and if an AT4 will work on him, most bullets would too. Very few things are actually made in a forge these days.
 
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If a vampire truly is 4 times faster than a human, the only way a crossbow could ever work on one is if they were blindsided by the shooter or weren't accustomed enough to vampire speed yet that for it to have occurred to them to try catching or deflecting the shot.
Or volleys. Avoiding/catching one bolt is within possibility. Ten?
 
Or volleys. Avoiding/catching one bolt is within possibility. Ten?
Still rather within possibility, if only because they can just yeet themselves into distance due to having enough perception speed to notice the bolts while still having time to react, and enough strength to force themselves to fly off quite a far distance. Try a hundred.
 
If you want to deal with vampires you need Slow Glass. While glass that you can program to release the captured light of the noon day Sun, at will, is best, carrying several fixed duration glasses may allow you to select one that's good.

So, just illuminate them. :)
 
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If you want to deal with vampires you need Slow Glass. While glass that you can program to release the captured light of the noon day Sun, at will, is best, carrying several fixed duration glasses may allow you to select one that's good.

So, just illuminate them. :)

Would that actually work though? After all, UV lamps don't work on vampires in BtVS. It's not the light's wave length or radiation that causes vampires to combust after all. If that was the case then just covering up wouldn't be enough to prevent them from combusting. Or if it was, there would be zero smoldering. Starlight and moonlight don't cause a vampire to burst into flames either. There's a mystical reason for sunlight burning vampires. Likely due to the sun being the largest holy symbol ever. One which is still worshiped by some cultures and sects. It's quite possible that 'slow glass' would similarly strip the mystical properties of sunlight out, making it safe for a vampire.
 
Would that actually work though? After all, UV lamps don't work on vampires in BtVS. It's not the light's wave length or radiation that causes vampires to combust after all. If that was the case then just covering up wouldn't be enough to prevent them from combusting. Or if it was, there would be zero smoldering. Starlight and moonlight don't cause a vampire to burst into flames either. There's a mystical reason for sunlight burning vampires. Likely due to the sun being the largest holy symbol ever. One which is still worshiped by some cultures and sects. It's quite possible that 'slow glass' would similarly strip the mystical properties of sunlight out, making it safe for a vampire.

Good point...

Guess one question would be whether using a (large) mirror to reflect sunlight on a vampire works? Another approach would be to ask if sunlight coming through a glazed window is effective. If the second does, then Slow Glass might be claimed to also work. Of course, the interaction between mirrors and vampires is strange...

The FamTech 'Bottled Suntan' product might be something Xander and co. might be willing to field test. :)

Of course, you could try their 'Solar De-Laser' product as well. :)
 
Considering Wolfram & Hart can produce window tinting which stops sunlight from killing vampires, it's obvious that filters can disrupt the mystical aspect. It's quite possible that Slow Glass would be no worse for a vampire then moonlight due to the fact the sun isn't shining directly on the vampire.
 
So, if the stained Glass is blessed, would sunlight passing through the windows of a church be dangerous to Vampires?

For that matter, considering the number of services that involve using Holy Water, can a Vampire even enter a church in BTVS? I know other lores go either way.....
 
So, if the stained Glass is blessed, would sunlight passing through the windows of a church be dangerous to Vampires?

For that matter, considering the number of services that involve using Holy Water, can a Vampire even enter a church in BTVS? I know other lores go either way.....

Normal stained glass to my knowledge is not sunlight protection for vampires. Wolfram & Hart makes (likely via magic or alchemy) a tinting which blocks whatever it is that make sunlight deadly to vampires. But normal window tinting wouldn't provide the same protection. As for vamps entering churches in BtVS, of course they can. Abandoned churches at least provide no barrier what so ever. They might feel uncomfortable in one though, not sure. Remember that the ritual to restore Dru's health was taking place in an abandoned church. Of which Sunnydale has a lot of.
 
So, if the stained Glass is blessed, would sunlight passing through the windows of a church be dangerous to Vampires?

For that matter, considering the number of services that involve using Holy Water, can a Vampire even enter a church in BTVS? I know other lores go either way.....
Vampires even terrorized a church DURING A SERVICE during the S4 "switch bodies" episode. Riley was late to church.
 
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