Ship of Fools: A Taylor Varga Omake (Complete)

Chapter 10: Horror and Brockton Bay
Chapter 10: Horror and Brockton Bay

The Ship of Fools again appeared in deep space with the momentary flash of the wormhole the only nearby source of light. The pattern of stars made it clear that they were deep within one of the galactic arms, with the starfield more visibly dense in the direction of the galactic core.

"We're about five lightyears out from Earth," said O'Brien after checking their position. The bridge was again filled with the full crew, each of them anxious to see how effective they had been at finding Ripley's home universe.

"It seems like there are differences in our position relative to the rest of the galaxy when we jump realities," said Daniel.

"Well, right before we picked up Ellen," added Dresden, "we jumped from a wreck which was basically outside of the galaxy to right next to the planet where her ship was located. That seems like a fairly sizable difference, even to somebody as technologically inept as me."

The ship's computer generated a new jump that would take them close to Earth based upon their current position, only without changing universe. Ellen, Miles and Daniel all double-checked the calculations before triggering the new jump. This time, the ship appeared where they expected. Harry, Taylor, Peter and Jimmy all stood quietly and stared at the magnificent sight of the bands of Jupiter's atmosphere. Two of the planet's moons were visible, one of which appeared to be Io, while the other was further away and harder to identify with the naked eye.

Ellen looked at the four pre-spaceflight members of their group with a soft smile. "It is pretty impressive, isn't it? I've been many lightyears from Earth, and Jupiter and Saturn are still two of the most spectacular planets I've seen," she told them.

Jimmy replied, "Honestly, seeing this makes this situation seem almost worth it."

"Totally," agreed Xander. "If I knew we could get home, I would be cool with this."

"To that end," interrupted Miles, "I have some good news and some bad news."

Daniel rolled his eyes a little, and could hear his inner Jack say, 'Cliché!'

"Really, they're kind of the same news," said O'Brien. "I've scanned the bodies around Jupiter. The quantum signature here is almost exactly the same as Ellen's. We just need to figure out what's causing the variance."

"Let's get closer to Earth and see if we can tell how close this universe is to my own," suggested Ripley. She was slightly disappointed, but not surprised. It would have been very lucky to hit their target on their first try after figuring out the wormhole drive's underlying mathematics.

Another wormhole jump dropped them outside of Earth's lunar orbit, on the opposite side of the planet from the satellite in question. They didn't want to get too close, as Ripley's Earth had plenty of eyes in the inner solar system.

"We're picking up transmissions from Earth...it sounds a little chaotic," said Daniel as he listened to an earpiece tied into the communications array.

"Can we see and hear it?" asked Ripley.

Daniel piped the transmissions to a display screen. The first broadcast was audio only. It seemed to be an emergency broadcast signal giving instructions on some type of quarantine. Daniel switched channels, and this time picked up a news broadcast where a slightly hysterical newscaster was talking about quarantine breach on the south side of Atlanta. She mentioned an estimated death toll in the hundreds. A third channel showed pictures of a firefight somewhere in what looked like a Latin or South American city. Soldiers were firing at indistinct black shapes moving through the shadows of buildings.

"Those are xenomorphs..." said Ripley softly.

The horrific images kept coming. One image was of a quiet street with the bodies of at least a dozen people lying in the sun. Another audio-only broadcast featured a man ranting about how the government was scanning for infected people and summarily executing any they found. The next video was of an autopsy of a body that had a gruesome hole in the torso, as if something had pushed its way out. The audio accompanying it was in Russian.

"He's saying...the creature gestates inside the body of a living host, then tears its way out through the chest cavity in a way that inevitably kills the infected," translated Daniel.

Ripley looked at Miles. "You said that this ISN'T my Earth?" she asked him bluntly.

He shook his head and said, "No, the quantum signature isn't right. It's close, but not the same."

Upon hearing that, Ripley turned without a word and left the bridge.

"Isn't there something we can do?" asked Peter, his horror at what he was seeing plain in his voice.

"In my world," said Harry, "I might be able to do something. I know some of the heavy hitters of the supernatural world, and most of them have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo. Here...I don't think that's an option. Humanity is pretty much on its own against whatever is out there."

Miles added, "There's evidence that people are still evacuating the surface. There are ships heading up to what Ripley called Gateway station."

"Humanity also has multiple colonies scattered around the galaxy, so there is the chance that they can rally and take back Earth," contributed Daniel.

"But there are people dying down there now," said Peter.

"That's why we always fought so hard against the bad guys," said Xander. "Apocalypses are a lot easier to stop before they've started. Don't get me wrong...if we had screwed up and let the Hellmouth open, we would have fought to the end, but none of us thought that that would be anything more than a last stand."

"It shouldn't have been left up to a bunch of teenagers to stop things like this," said Harry.

Xander just shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't going to argue the point. That's just the way it was.

"I think the best we can do," suggested Jimmy, "is try and make sure that Ripley gets home in time to warn people before this happens to her world."

Nobody really had anything to say after that, and it wasn't long before Daniel shut off the broadcasts from this dying Earth.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Taylor was sitting in the dining room, picking at a plate of lasagna. Having a replicator at least meant never having to complain about the food. It was a hell of a lot better than the food they served at Winslow for lunch. She just found it difficult to have any appetite after witnessing the destruction of an alternate Earth. She morbidly wondered if her own Earth was heading down that path. The Endbringers were slowly destroying civilization. They had already shut down space travel and most of the ocean-going trade. Cities were either destroyed or quarantined one-by-one. Psychopaths like the Slaughterhouse Nine roamed the country, wiping out whole towns. The heroes seemed more concerned with protecting their image than they were with fixing things, and the villains were treated with kid gloves so that they could help fight the Endbringers.

Jimmy Olsen came into the room and asked, "Do you mind if I join you?"

She simply gestured to a seat in the universal silent sign for, "be my guest." He went to the replicator and ordered a cheeseburger before sitting down at the table. Taylor watched him as he came to sit down. He was older than her, but he had a softer face covered in freckles. Somehow, he managed to avoid the tired eyes that most of their crew had at least occasionally.

"So, you come from a world with capes like Peter and me?" she asked him, eager to stop thinking about dead and dying versions of Earth.

He smiled at her. "I like that term, 'capes,' for supers. I'm going to use that when I get back home in one of my articles. In my world, a lot of them really do wear capes. There's even one in Gotham City known as, 'the Caped Crusader.'"

"Gotham City?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, Gotham City, New Jersey. It's the crime capital of the United States," explained Jimmy.

"Is that where you're from?"

"No," he answered. "I live in Metropolis, in Delaware."

"Delaware?," she said with some surprise. "In my world, there aren't any big cities in Delaware. The largest city there is the capital, Dover."

"Weird," he said. "In my world, Metropolis is one of the biggest cities in the world, with more than eleven million people. Where are you from?"

"I was born and lived my whole life in Brockton Bay, New Hampshire," she replied.

"Huh, never heard of it. I don't think there's any such city where I'm from," he said. "Strange how different the cities are between our worlds."

"Peter had never heard of it, either. He said he was from New York, which does exist in my world," she said with a slight shake of her head.

"Oh, New York City exists in my world too, but it isn't as big as Metropolis," he said, smiling.

She stared at him for a minute, wondering if he was pulling her leg. "That seems like a lot of big cities in a really small area...although I guess California in my world has three major cities along the coast by itself."

"What's Brockton Bay like?" Jimmy asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's home. It used to be a big port, but there was a dockworkers strike that blocked the bay with a sunken tanker ship. Then the Endbringers showed up and trade started to die off. Now, it's mostly famous as the city with the largest number of capes per capita of any city in North America. Unfortunately, most of them are in criminal gangs."

"It actually sounds a lot like Gotham," suggested Olsen. "There are a lot of criminal gangs there led by super-villains...Joker, Penguin, Two-Face, etc."

That startled a small giggle out of Taylor. "You have a super-villain named Penguin? Does he have super waddling powers?"

This time Jimmy chuckled. "He's mostly a crime lord who has a penchant for tuxedos and umbrellas. I'm not even sure he has any powers."

"It would be hard to be a non-powered criminal in a city full of cape gangs, although there is one in Brockton Bay named Coil...nobody seems to know if he has any powers or not. Mostly, his men are mercenaries armed with tinker tech." She had explained to the rest of the crew about tinkers. Both Peter and Jimmy had inventors in their world that were so far ahead of everybody else that they may as well have been tinkers. Miles had had the funniest reaction. He seemed almost offended that there were engineers who could build advanced technology that could neither be explained nor duplicated.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Jimmy spoke again. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

She eyed him warily. "Sure, but I reserve the right to not answer."

"Fair enough," he agreed. "You said you wanted to be a hero originally, but the leader of the local heroes screwed you over. Would you still want to be a hero if things were different?"

She stared at him for a second before responding. "Of COURSE I would. I never wanted to use my powers to hurt people, Jimmy. If I hadn't tried to infiltrate the Undersiders, I never would have..." She paused when she realized what she was about to say.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You never would have what?"

She sighed and looked down at her suddenly unappetizing food, again. "Right before Leviathan attacked, I found out that the last job we did, robbing a bank, was a diversion for a kidnapping. Our boss, the guy paying our paychecks, had kidnapped a little girl who has powers. I never would have agreed to take part in the robbery if I had known what was going to happen."

"But you didn't know," said Jimmy. At her look, he clarified, "you said you joined your gang to try and bring them down from the inside, and you had no way of knowing what was going to happen while you robbed that bank. Even if you hadn't been there, your gang probably would have robbed the bank and the girl would have been kidnapped. The difference is that you probably wouldn't know anything about it, and you wouldn't be able to try and do anything to help."

"You think it's better that I helped them rob a bank?" she asked incredulously.

He shook his head. "I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you had good intentions, and that you've got intelligence now that you wouldn't have had otherwise. It's not all negative. What matters is what you do going forward."

"It isn't that easy," she said. "In my world, the whole heroes and villains thing tends to be pretty black-and-white. It isn't easy to change sides. Once you get a reputation as a villain, you're pretty much stuck in that role. It may not be fair...actually, it really sucks...but it is what it is."

He smiled again. "Maybe that's usually the case, but most folks don't get pulled into a multi-universe adventure with such an unusual group of people. You might be surprised at the options you have once all is said and done."

"You're quite the optimist," she told him. The look in her eye was still skeptical.

As Jimmy put his now empty dish and silverware back in the replicator, he said, "I've just had some good role models. If we get a chance in my universe, I'll introduce you to Superman. He's pretty much everything a superhero is supposed to be."

"We've got a guy like that, too," she said knowingly. "His name's Legend. From what I've read about him, he's legitimately a great guy and a great hero. He also single-handedly advanced gay rights by decades by coming out."

Jimmy gave a startled laugh that he quickly suppressed. As he left the dining hall, he said over his shoulder, "Oh, I'm definitely introducing you to Superman."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The ship was floating in deep space between solar systems while the group debated on where to go next.

"To be completely honest," said Ellen, "I'm not sure I could take another universe where Earth is falling to chaos because of xenomorphs. I'm willing to try for one of your realities instead for the next attempt."

"I'm gonna say we not pick mine as the next try," said Xander slightly reluctantly. "My world has direct connections to a lot of really unpleasant dimensions. What works for horseshoes and hand grenades might end up dumping us somewhere we can't easily escape."

Harry considered that for a moment. "My world might fall into that category as well. I could probably get us back into the real world if we ended up in the Nevernever or someplace like it, but we could end up attracting a tremendous amount of unfortunate attention."

"I know for a fact that there are a ton of parallel worlds very similar to mine," said Peter. "I've actually been to a couple of them. I was able to get back to my world, although it required some pretty advanced technology to do so."

Dresden raised his hand to interrupt. "Actually, Pete, based on some of the comics back home, we might want to avoid your neck of the multiverse. Some of those alternates involve things like zombie apocalypses with superheros and super-villains becoming flesh-eating zombies...and keeping their powers."

"The same goes for Jimmy's world," said Xander. "In one universe I remember, the Joker manipulated Superman into killing Lois Lane and destroying Metropolis. Superman executed the Joker and took over the world to force his vision of order on everyone."

Jimmy's mouth dropped open in shock. "I'm having a hard time imagining the man I know doing something like that!"

Xander explained, "At the time, Superman and Lois were married and she was carrying his unborn child."

Jimmy closed his mouth, unsure how to respond to that.

"The parallel universe I'm most familiar with to my world isn't a very nice place," said O'Brien. "The Federation never formed there. Instead, humanity created the Terran Empire and subjugated most of the surrounding species. It's not someplace I would want to be trapped."

"Wait," said Harry, "you mean there really is a mirror universe where Mister Spock had a beard?"

O'Brien had read the reports on the original Constitution-class Enterprise's transporter accident after what happened on Deep Space 9, so he was familiar with the incident. "I'm not sure how you know that particular detail, but yes. It exists, and there is a history of contact between the two universes up until what for me is the present day."

"The two alternate versions of my universe that I've visited both had Earth being attacked and subjugated by the Goa'uld. The second was only able to fight them off with help from my universe and the Asgard," said Daniel.

Everybody turned to look at Taylor, the only one who hadn't spoken.

"The...only alternate I know of to my world is Earth Aleph," she answered the unspoken question, "and it actually is probably nicer than my world. They have fewer heroes and villains, and the Endbringers don't exist there. I mean, people have said that there certainly are other worlds, so I suppose there could be one where...I don't know, Scion is a horrible villain out to destroy the world?"

"Well," said Harry, "if there isn't anything recommending one of our realities over the other, we might as well pick the one that we don't know for sure has an evil twin with a goatee."

"Not everyone's duplicate in that universe had a goatee," said Miles irritably.

"Did yours?" asked Xander with a grin.

Miles grimaced and replied, "No, he didn't." More quietly, but still loud enough to be heard, he said, "He had a nickname..."

"That said," interjected Daniel, "is anybody opposed to making Taylor's world the next target to try and reach?"

Nobody had any opposition to the idea, so the motion carried.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

After another transition, they made it to a universe that looked identical down to the first significant digit to Taylor's quantum signature. Setting the ship well away from the Earth to avoid any chance of drawing the attention of the Simurgh, they monitored broadcast traffic in an attempt to compare it to what Taylor knew. They were able to confirm the existence of a lot of things Taylor knew, including the Protectorate, the Guild and the Birdcage. There was also mention of Scion and the Triumvirate.

For safety's sake, they withdrew to the outer solar system to decide what to do. The jump to the orbit of Neptune resulted in the wormhole drive giving off some odd readings, which made everyone slightly nervous. Eventually, the decision was made to land in Brockton Bay. Taylor would go and try to verify that she was in her own universe, and Miles would work to check the drive system and make sure it wasn't malfunctioning. It looked all right, but nobody argued with the idea that it was better to be safe than sorry.

Interestingly enough, while they were debating far from Earth, they happened to miss a series of broadcasts about Taylor's hometown, and how an enormous lizard in a hardhat was clearing the ship blocking the bay.
 
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Author's Opinion: Included Universes
I am in the process of writing the next chapter, but I thought I would share my personal opinions on the different fictional universes and my experiences with them.

Worm: Here is an odd thing. I've read significant portions of Worm here and there. Some parts of it stand out vividly, like the confrontation in Arcadia, or the end of Alexandria and Tagg. I've read quite a lot of Worm fanfiction. What I have never done is sit down and start Wildbow's story and read it all the way through from start to finish. It is undoubtedly a well-written and interesting take on the superhero genre, but I just find the constant hammering of the characters by fate to be depressing as hell. It's the same reason I could never get into the Walking Dead, I guess. I want a little more entertainment in my entertainment? Maybe that's why I enjoy Taylor Varga so much -- take a world that really is interesting but make it fun and vivid instead of the type of slog you get from great Russian literature.

The Dresden Files: I've read all of the Dresden novels, including the short stories published in other works. I love the fact that Harry as a character has an honest desire to do what is right rather than what is easy, and yet he still makes plenty of fairly substantive screw ups that make his life harder but also lead to unanticipated consequences that aren't always terrible. I think I relate to that. I also really enjoy the inversion of the whole Harry Potter "Statute of Secrecy." The supernatural world in the Dresden-verse doesn't go out of its way to flaunt itself, and uses secrecy as a protective cloak. Yet here you have this dude who is something of a victim of fate, and he advertises himself as a freaking wizard in the phone book. Part of the reason he does it as a kind of, "up yours," to the establishment of his world, but he also does it because it legitimately lets people who need his kind of help reach out to him. Jim Butcher has also done a great job of putting together a consistent set of rules for the supernatural here. I just wish he would get back to urban fantasy. I've just read way too much epic and heroic fantasy in my life to get into Calderon and his other works to the same degree -- and frankly his characters in his other works just aren't as iconic.

Star Trek: One of my first memories of Star Trek is of a day when I was being punished for something -- I was relatively young, so I'm sure it was exactly the same kind of stupid stuff my own kid now-a-days sometimes gets in trouble for doing. I wasn't allowed to watch TV, but my mother called me in and let me watch an episode of the original series Star Trek (this was well before TNG), and she said it was because she knew I really liked that show. What's funny is that until she said that, I hadn't realized that was the case. There's a lot of stuff written about the social impact of the show, so I won't belabor it here, but Star Trek and the Twilight Zone were the two shows that made me think that you could get interesting concepts in a television show, even beyond the quality of the story itself. (Edit of this entry: I like Miles O'Brien because he basically is the character most like the folks you work with on a day to day basis. He's competent, experienced, and good at his job. While he has principles and bravery, he isn't the core protagonist or hero in most stories. He likes playing darts and RPG's with his best friend, and spending time with his wife and kids. He gets crapped on a LOT, in part because his job puts him close proximity to all of the crazy that seems attracted to the more heroic types.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I could never catch this show consistently when it was on, as it was during a period when I didn't consistently have access to television. I binge-watched it on DVD in later years, and I think doing it that way allows you to appreciate its nature as a metaphor for growing up. Each individual episode seen in isolation was...OK. (There were a few exceptions...the episode Hush, for example, is just a great examples of successful risk-taking by a creator.) Taken as a whole, it becomes something better. What's interesting to me is that if I had watched it piecemeal, I probably wouldn't have become a big fan. (Edit: I realized I didn't explicitly call out Xander Harris. There are two things I like about this character: he participates because he chooses to, rather than because fate handed him a superpower, and he doesn't let his own insecurities and poor upbringing keep him from doing extraordinary things -- including saving the world when everybody else is too busy to notice.)

Stargate SG-1: This show is driven entirely by its characters. The adventure-town/monster-of-the-week format is nothing that hasn't been done a hundred times before by lesser shows. Richard Dean Anderson is frankly just watchable in almost anything he does. I enjoyed the work of Christopher Judge and Amanda Tapping. Ironically (at least when you look at my omake), I think Daniel Jackson was my least favorite character at first, but he's undoubtedly the character who undergoes the richest character development. Seriously, sit down and watch the various shows and focus on him. By Stargate: Universe, he's completed a journey from being a clumsy and slightly awkward academic and has turned into an extremely well-educated member of a special forces team. The degree of confidence and commitment he shows is astonishing. Compare that to the first few seasons, where his driving motivation was trying to get his wife back from the body snatchers. (I even enjoyed the addition of Ben Browder and Claudia Black, but then I was already a big fan of the off-the-wall Farscape before it prematurely ended.)

Spider-Man: My biggest motivation for including Peter Parker was taking my son to see Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse. I rank that movie up with Black Panther and Infinity War as one of my favorite superhero films of all time. We live in a golden age of cinema for superheroes. Honestly, in the 1980's, Wonder Woman would have been considered one of the best pictures of the year, especially among genre fans. Now, we see it as one of the few current-gen DC movies that lives up to the potential of the character. We have that attitude because so much of what's come out recently is just that good. I have to say that Peter Parker is such a popular character that depictions of him are slightly over done, but I respect the intent of creating a relate-able superhero...somebody with the same problems as everybody else, rather than somebody whose only weakness is kryptonite and lazy writing. I did, for a while, read Spider-Man comics, but to be honest I was more of a fan of the various X-Men books.

DC Comics: *Sigh.* I was never as big a fan of DC Comics...not because the characters are inherently bad, but because they're far more prone than even Marvel to just hit the reset button whenever it is convenient. Don't get me wrong -- Marvel certainly doesn't get a pass on this. With DC, though, you look at things like Crisis on Infinite Earths and it seems like they get lazy with the editing, and then they make a business decision to consolidate everything. It's like your favorite characters have to go through a corporate layoff. I included Jimmy Olsen in this story because he suffers a lot of abuse as the infinitely variable background character. Hell, Snyder literally offed him as a throw-away gag. If you look at Web sites that cover superdickery, Olsen is the one who is the butt of the worst behavior by heroes and villains alike. I think he deserves better. He's literally an experienced investigative journalist who in many continuities has won a Pulitzer Prize. In the real world, he would be an awesome person to know. In the comics, he suffers because he hangs around with Superman and his Superfriends.

Alien: I have seen the first two Alien movies, as well as Alien vs. Predator, and I've read a number (although certainly not all) of the comics from Dark Horse. I have not and will not watch Alien 3 (although I have read some pretty detailed summaries online), because it pisses me off that they completely wiped away her accomplishments in the second movie. Aliens had one of the most badass scenes by a heroine in cinema, with Ripley using a freaking power loader to fight off the alien queen. She's not being saved by the marines, or by her love interest, or through a deus ex machina ending. She literally had to go toe-to-toe with one of the most frightening movie monsters of the 80's and 90's and physically pummeled and pushed it out an airlock, inch-by-freaking-inch. Next movie comes out: nope, the kid died, and you got implanted anyway, just like Paul Reiser wanted you to be. F-ing weak. Now, the continuity of the comic books is pretty wacky, especially when you add in the predators. I don't think everything done there makes sense. This is, in my mind though, a perfect example of how cool concepts can live past some wonky implementations. As universes go, it's also a little light on some of the background details, and you have to wonder if one of the main criteria for being a manager at Weyland-Yutani is a complete lack of survival instinct.
 
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Chapter 11: Mathematics and the Multiverse
Chapter 11: Mathematics and the Multiverse

"We didn't want to attract the Simurgh's attention by entering orbit," added Taylor, "although she was never close to being in orbit over the city, for some reason."

Saurial, Raptaur and Metis all exchanged meaningful glances with each other.

"What?" asked Taylor.

Saurial shook her head. "We'll tell you later. Finish your story."

"Not much more to tell, really," said Xander. "We came in under cover of darkness, then Pete and Harry scouted out an empty warehouse to hide the ship. We jumped the ship here. The next morning, we tapped into the wireless Internet here, and Harry and Taylor went off to check out her home, and came back with some strays." He was grinning at the last part.

"Well," said Saurial, "with that segue, let me perform the introductions. I'm Saurial, this is my sister Raptaur, and this is my cousin, Metis." As she introduced the two other lizards, they each nodded politely. "We're part of a group known as the Family. We're registered as an affiliated hero group with the Protectorate, this country's government-sponsored superhero organization, but we also have our own company, BBFO, closely affiliated with the the Brockton Bay Dockworker's Union. Danny Hebert here is the hiring manager and general boss of the DWU." The man in question grumbled a bit under his breath at being called 'boss,' mostly out of habit. "He's also the local version of Taylor's dad."

"These three," Saurial said, pointing at the plain-clothed capes," are Linda, Randall and Kevin, engineers who work for the DWU who have some expertise in tinker tech...which is technology far in advance of most current-state technology. We've also called in Dragon, an actual tinker whose specialty is turning tinker tech into things that anybody can build and maintain. She should be here shortly."

"You said you might have some ideas on how to help us find our home realities?" asked Miles. "No offence to present company, but I have a wife and family that I left behind when I got pulled into this trip, and I know the others have their own reasons to get home."

"We can," answered Raptaur. "My first suggestion is that you let Metis here examine each of you. She and her sister Ianthe are healers, and it seems like you've all been without a real doctor for some time."

"You're a medical doctor?" asked Daniel.

The black-scaled lizard replied, "I'm a healer. My sister Ianthe is closer to what you would think of as a regular medical practitioner, as she's one of the Family bio-sculptors. I'm more of a researcher. I can heal quite a few things, however."

Throughout these discussions, Harry Dresden was watching quietly, wondering where this was all going. He noticed that Saurial had not revealed that she was the local version of Taylor. He was wiling to stay quiet for the moment, keeping in mind what he'd been told about secret identities, but he was going to want an explanation. Given the whole secret identity shtick around here, he wouldn't be surprised if the three, "DWU engineers," weren't just experts in tinker tech. Despite his reservations, he would be more than happy to keep secrets if it got everyone home again.

Metis went and examined each of them. She explained first that it may look and feel a little odd, but Jimmy was willing to volunteer. There was some initial disquiet as the tendrils from Metis's hand burrowed into Jimmy's skin, but after she was done he had nothing but good things to say about how the bruises, cuts and abrasions on his body were completely gone. She then went to each of the others in turn.

"I want to call in my sister to look at Miles, Harry, Ellen and Xander," she told them. "I've healed the minor injuries that Daniel, Jimmy and Peter had from your adventures."

"Is there something wrong?" asked Ripley in a worried tone.

"No, nothing to be immediately worried about, but you've all got more serious injuries and health issues that should be looked at by a professional," she answered. "I would prefer to let her look at you. I'm fully confident she can fix any and all of the issues I noticed." Metis smiled...which strangely didn't seem to make Ellen look any less worried.

"While we wait for that," interjected Linda, who had been getting more and more impatient, "can we get a tour of this ship?"

"Why don't you and Kevin go with Miles and get the tour, while Saurial goes with Daniel and Ellen to get a look at the wormhole drive. She's one of the best of us at multidimensional mathematics," answered Raptaur.

"I wouldn't mind talking to Harry and Xander about the supernatural," chimed in Metis.

Randall added a quick, "Me too." He kind of wanted to follow Vectura and Leet on the ship tour, but he was curious to see if his power worked with magical skills. That potentially opened up all kinds of options.

"I will give Ianthe a call, then, and after that, Danny and I can talk to Taylor, Peter and Jimmy about the differences in superpowers between their worlds and ours," said Raptaur.

When nobody had any disagreement, the two groups merged and split into smaller teams, with the majority heading off into other areas of the ship.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Amy had just gotten into the DWU office and had hung up her coat when her cell phone started to ring with Raptaur's ring tone. Each of the different personas had different ring tones to maintain the illusion of the different Family members.

"Raptaur, what can I do for you," she said as she answered the phone.

'Amy, are you at the DWU offices yet?'

"Yes, I just got in from a quick visit to Brockton Bay General. There was an accident with a road crew with some serious injuries and they asked for my help," she explained.

'Could you track down Ianthe? She had some tasks to do around the compound this morning. We met some new friends that could use her services.'

"Not a problem. It will just take a few minutes. Who are these new friends?" she asked.

'It would be better to explain it to Ianthe when she gets here. Don't worry, we'll tell you as well.'

With that, Raptaur gave her the address of a nearby warehouse. Eager to discover what new oddity had landed in the lap of the Family, she quickly went to get Ianthe ready to go.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"We did manage to isolate the parts of the master algorithm responsible for spatial coordinates and separate them from the dimensional targeting," explained Daniel. "We were able to use the micro-wormholes as a way of seeing what was shifting with small changes."

"Are you seeing the overlap in the fourth and fifth dimensional vector magnitudes?" commented Varga silently, who was shifting his attention between conversations. 'Yes, that's really clever. It accomplishes three things simultaneously that would have required a lot more effort otherwise,' answered Taylor.

"I can see how that's working," said Saurial. "Part of your overall problem is that the temporal and reality aspects of the algorithm shift in-synch with each other. The sections controlling your position in three dimensions are isolated through a clever bit of programming that automatically compensates for other changes."

Ellen Ripley started at Saurial and said, "You can tell that from looking through this in only five minutes?"

Saurial grinned and answered, "It's a lot easier if you can visualize how the various dimensions relate to each other so that you can see the cascading impact changes have on the whole. I'll have to give you guys a tour of the BBFO offices at some point."

"What's so special about your offices?" asked Daniel, puzzled.

"They're bigger on the inside," said Saurial. Without pausing, she continued, "Now, part of this is kind of a mess. The temporal equation pieces seem like they've been deliberately oversimplified in some places, and there's a whole section that seems missing."

Daniel paused to think for a moment, then said, "Well, the Ancients seem to have a fairly big prohibition on time travel in general. It's possible they handicapped some of the capabilities of the drive."

Saurial turned and began writing mathematics on a glass board behind her. Ellen and Daniel both jumped a bit when they looked back, as the board hadn't been there when they walked into the room. Daniel raised an eyebrow at Ellen, who shook her head and shrugged. Saurial ignored them while filling half the glass with a complex equation.

The lizard girl said, "Ellen, do you recognize this?"

Ripley stared at it for a long moment, then said, "That...looks like the time compression formula for hyperspace?"

"Yes!" said Saurial with a smile. "This is actually a portion of the master algorithm for the wormhole drive, except these three variables here, here, and here," she said, circling the elements in question, "are treated as constants, and they've left out this part," she said, circling a small divisor toward the end, "entirely! The net result is that it prohibits large-scale adjustments in time beyond the normal deviation between universes, but it actually makes small errors slightly more likely. Hence, the fifteen minute jump you mentioned when you were tweaking these factors."

Daniel had a strong feeling that she was correct, although he never would have been able to identify the discrepancies before she pointed them out. "So, that's what's causing the variance from the targeted quantum signature?"

"That, in combination with a couple of other things. Here let me show you..." Saurial began.

The three of them continued to discuss the mathematics behind the wormhole drive until somebody came to retrieve them two hours later.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Miles was watching the two engineers from the DWU slightly warily. He had been explaining the fusion of Ancient, Starfleet, and original ship tech on the bridge, especially with regard to the control and sensor systems. The woman, Linda, had asked some very intelligent and pertinent questions, which he appreciated, but she examined everything with an intensity that almost bordered on trance-like. Kevin, on the other hand, was shifting his weight constantly, moving from foot to foot and constantly reaching out to touch different control interfaces with a slightly manic grin on his face. He also added comments from time to time, some of which were absolutely brilliant. Others, he wasn't sure what they meant. They were clearly references to something outside of Miles's experience.

"OK, I'm just going to come out and say it," said Kevin, clearly coming to a decision.

"Kevin!" said Linda slightly sharply.

"You KNOW it's gonna come out," he answered, to which she grudgingly nodded.

"WHAT is going to come out?" asked Miles.

"You know how your universe is a TV show in Harry's and Daniel's realities? Well, it is here, too, and I'm a HUGE fan!" said the obviously over-excited engineer.

Kevin pulled a device out of a pouch at his waist and said, "Here, look what I built based on your show!"

O'Brien looked unsure how to react, but he took the device Kevin handed to him and opened it. "It looks like a standard issue TR-590. Where did you get this?"

Kevin grinned. "I made it. I made it based on the ones in the show! Here, let me show you..."

He proceeded to walk through the substantial capabilities of the device. At one point, Miles said, "Wait a minute, that's not standard. Did you adjust the subspace interference scan output to a logarithmic scale?" At Kevin's grin and nod, O'Brien slightly reluctantly admitted, "That's...actually quite a lot better as a default setting. It makes getting a quick overview a lot easier before deconstructing the wave-forms."

Kevin looked like he was about to go into another aspect of the device, but Linda interrupted. "Do you think we could take a look at the engine nacelles?" she asked.

O'Brien agreed, and the three of them started for the hatch to the dorsal surface of the Ship of Fools to get a top-down view. He and Kevin continued to discuss aspects of the tricorder, and Miles found himself growing more and more impressed with the young man as they continued to talk.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Xander, Harry, Randall and Metis had removed themselves to the dining area.

Before they could broach the subject of the supernatural, Harry asked Metis, "There were some things you didn't make clear about Saurial back there." He looked at her pointedly.

Xander looked between Metis and Harry and asked, "Good things, bad things, or 'run away really fast' things?"

"He is referring to the fact that Saurial is this universe's version of Taylor, among other things," replied Metis.

Xander got a very strange look and said sarcastically, "Of course, they look so much alike...I was wondering if they were related."

"She's a changeling," explained Harry.

"What, you mean she's one of those aliens that Miles was telling us about? The shapeshifters that started the war they just had?" asked Xander.

Metis stepped in to clarify things. "She can change form, but not like the Founders that led the Dominion. It's more similar to a magical transformation. The reason we didn't say anything is because while we have reasons to trust everyone on board, we don't generally share everything about ourselves. Part of it is the superhero culture where we hide identities, and part of it is that even some of our close associates don't know everything. Randall here knows Saurial and Taylor are the same person, but Linda doesn't."

"And why is that?" asked Xander, the suspicion clear in his voice.

"Mostly because we helped get her out of a very bad situation, and we're giving her time to adjust to her changed circumstances. It certainly wouldn't be a problem if she found out, and I'm certain we will tell her ourselves eventually, after we feel she's settled more," explained Metis. "There is some weirdness to our lives that she doesn't need to deal with right now. If you feel it's a real issue, then I would ask that you let us be the ones to share our secrets."

"How bad of a situation are we talking about?" questioned Harry.

Metis thought back to the plot summaries for the Dresden books that she had scanned before coming here. "In some ways its a situation similar to the one Molly was in before you took responsibility for her."

For the first time, Harry looked truly shocked. He said, "I'm not sure how you know about that, but if that's the case then I can understand why you're easing her into things."

"How did you know that?" asked Randall.

"There's an Earth Aleph novel series about Harry Dresden, the wizard PI from Chicago. I looked it up before coming here," said the lizard. "It hasn't really become popular yet on this world, so I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it."

"Let me guess," added Xander, "there's a TV show about my world here, too?"

"Oh, yeah," said Randall. "That one I knew about. That thing when you stopped the bomb in the basement of the high school by yourself was awesome, man."

"Um, thanks," replied Xander, slightly embarrassed.

"Does this mean that you know all about us? About everyone on this ship?" asked Harry in a concerned voice.

Metis shook her head. "We know highlights, with some personal details. It's true that all of you are featured in works of fiction in this universe. So, I don't know what you had for breakfast this morning, but I know you were living with your brother, Thomas, and that he's a vampire."

"Your brother's a vampire?" asked Xander. "You never said anything."

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "It never came up."

"Look guys," said Randall, "we all know a bit about each of you, but we don't really know you. It's like we've read a biography that somebody wrote about you. We don't even know if everything from the fictional sources map to your real lives. I guarantee you that you don't have to worry about it. The DWU accepts folks from all walks of life, and they respect each others' privacy and leave the past in the past."

"I have secrets that aren't really mine to share," said Harry, slightly worried, "and now it sounds like you might know some of them already."

"Ditto on that," contributed Xander.

Randall looked at Metis. "I know that Xander Harris on the TV show was a stand-up guy and a loyal friend. What's your impression of Harry?"

"I would say we can trust him," answered Metis simply.

"All right," said Randall. He trusted Metis's judgement as much as he trusted anybody's. "Randall is my real name, but I'm also a cape. My power lets me pick up any skill and learn it to an expert level insanely fast. My cape name is Über."

"The unwritten rules between capes in our world would expect you not to share that information in most circumstances," explained Metis. "Capes try to avoid killing, don't try to find secret identities or reveal them to others if discovered, and don't attack each other or their families in their civilian identities."

"What happens when somebody breaks the rules?" asked Xander.

"Heroes and villains tend to both go after them," answered Randall. "The unwritten rules keep collateral damage down and prevent all-out-war between capes. Violators tend to end up in prison or in the Birdcage, and the worst offenders get kill orders signed."

"I think we can agree to keep your secrets," said Harry. "Apart from the fact that you folks are our best ticket home, you haven't done anything but be helpful so far." Xander simply nodded his agreement with this.

"With that settled," said Metis, "we would like to discuss the supernatural world...or 'worlds' in the plural may be more accurate."

That led to a lengthy discussion about the differences and common points between what Xander knew about his world (the breadth and depth of which seemed to surprise him a little) and Dresden's knowledge as an actual practitioner. That led to an interesting discovery related to Über's power.

"When you say you can master skills quickly, what kind of skills do you mean?" asked Harry.

Randall replied, "Pretty much anything...engineering, dance, martial arts, drawing, cooking, chemistry, foreign languages...hell, I learned basket weaving at one point because the girl in the YouTube video was cute."

That led to Harry tutoring Randall in some of the basics, including how to form a Circle, and how to feel magic. It was a little shocking how quickly he seemed to be absorbing the basics covered by Elementary Magic. When his student conjured a small flame in his hand with a quiet, 'Flareon!', Dresden started to get concerned, and the conversation soon turned to the Laws of Magic and the role of the Wardens of the White Council.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Danny listened to Raptaur, Taylor, Peter and Jimmy talk about powers in different worlds. Raptaur had explained about trigger events and the effects they seemed to have on capes. He was simultaneously relieved that something very different seemed to have happened to his Taylor, and worried about what had happened to the alternate Taylor. He knew that prior to Taylor meeting Varga, he had been shamefully negligent in his duties as a father, and he also knew that back then they would never have been able to afford any kind of therapy or other help for Taylor. He would make sure she didn't leave without getting some kind of help.

Peter's description of superpowers in his universe seemed barely more benign. Mutation was the most common cause, either natural or due to external factors such as gamma radiation or mutagenic chemicals. In Peter's case, he had been bitten by a spider that had been experimented on with a combination of radiation and genetic engineering. Natural mutants faced discrimination from non-powered humans. Capes that gained their powers from other sources could usually avoid that, though there seemed to be a lot of distrust toward anybody with powers. Pete also described inventors that used advanced technology to create powered armor, cybernetics, or more exotic items like suits that let you change your size. They sounded like tinkers, but their work was apparently closer to normal science and engineering than a tinker's work would be. There were a smaller number of beings that were aliens of some kind or another. Apparently, the gods of both the Norse and Greek pantheons existed and interacted with mankind. Magic also existed. Peter told them about a man named Stephen Strange, who bore the slightly ominous title of Sorcerer Supreme.

Jimmy, while not powered himself, was actually quite knowledgeable about the supers in his world. Mutation seemed to be much less common. In fact, most of the heroes and villains in his world were either literal aliens (including an actual Martian!) or normal humans using training and technology, in some cases alien technology. Magical and supernatural origins also seemed slightly more common. There were some odd and unique cases. The hero called the Flash tapped into something called the Speed Force, which was apparently some type of universal energy field in Jimmy's universe. He sounded like the Protectorate hero Velocity, but with the unlikely ability to move faster than light. Then there was Plastic Man, a man whose body could stretch and flex like rubber...a condition somehow caused by exposure to a vat of chemicals.

"We have somebody like that in my world," added Peter. "He's named Mr. Fantastic, and on top of his power, he's a brilliant scientist and inventor. Maybe they're alternates of the same person? Does that sound like your hero?"

Jimmy thought briefly about Plastic Man's perpetual quest to irritate anybody in authority, or who he perceived to lack a sense of humor. He simply answered, "No, I don't think so," and changed the subject.

The thing that stood out to Danny was that in Peter's and Jimmy's worlds, there were a wide variety of sources for superpowers. All of the powers capes got in Danny Hebert's universe seemed to happen in exactly the same way -- a traumatic event. That suggested a single point of origin, although it didn't explain what that single point of origin might be. Danny also noticed that Raptaur didn't seem overly surprised by the implications. Their work with Amy and Lisa on powers seemed to dovetail nicely with these additional revelations.

"With all of the powerful beings available in your worlds, it seems strange that nobody has come to retreive either of you," said Raptaur.

"We talked about that," said Jimmy. "The consensus was that either we were quite far from our respective realities, or somebody or something is actively blocking a search. It's also possible people are looking in the wrong place. The teleportation method I was using when I got lost should have dropped me on Apokolips."

"That doesn't sound like a very nice place, just based on the name," hazarded Danny.

"It's really, really not," agreed Jimmy. "Being tossed onto a pile of ruins through a plate glass window was quite probably a better experience than I would have had at my intended destination."

"One interesting difference between your worlds and this one...and Taylor's, by extension...is that your capes seem to be less prone to fighting than ours," said Raptaur.

Peter and Jimmy exchanged a surprised glance with each other. Both started to speak, and then Jimmy gestured for Peter to go ahead. Peter said, "I find that hard to believe. I mean, fights between metahumans happen all the time. The government formed the Avengers to deal with powerful threats, and it sounds like the Justice League on Jimmy's world is in some ways the same. I've had more than one fight that started over trivial issues, and I've even gotten into accidental fights with other heroes."

Raptaur cocked his head (Danny couldn't help but think of Raptaur as a male while Varga was driving, so to speak) and explained. "I don't mean to imply things are peaceful on your worlds, but there are certain characteristics we've observed in capes in this world. For one, capes seem drawn to conflict. There are few long-term independent heroes such as yourself, Peter, on our world, largely because capes band together for mutual protection and support. The life expectancy of an independent is low -- they either get forcibly recruited or killed. The Protectorate is not above using law breaking as a lever to force capes to join, and criminal gangs of course have even more sources of leverage. Add in the fact that capes seem to need to use their powers. You would think that a tinker, for example, could easily stay under the radar of the gangs and the government. Unfortunately for them, their powers force them create things. The government watches legitimate channels for acquiring parts like electronics, chemicals, and industrial alloys, while the gangs tend to watch the junkyards, pawn shops, and less legitimate sources. Because a tinker is a force multiplier, they find it almost impossible to stay independent. The lucky ones join the Guild or Toybox. The unlucky ones are forced, sometimes at gunpoint, to provide tech for the gangs."

"How can a power force you to build something?" asked Jimmy, as the concept seemed counterinuitive.

Danny knew the answer to this one. "The longer you go without building things, the stronger the compulsion becomes to do so. If you can't build, you may find yourself compulsively creating blueprints sketching inventions, another tell that recruiters watch for. When tinkers get bad, they go into a type of fugue that is similar to being on autopilot. They will continue to create things without really being consciously aware of doing it."

"You make it sounds like powers have a mind of their own, here," said Peter.

"There is evidence to suggest that they do," replied Raptaur. "It is one of the reasons why the advent of super powers has had such a dramatic impact on society. Governments find it hard to keep up with the chaos. Many people have theorized that the Endbringers are somehow related to powers as well, as they appeared after the first capes. The most popular theories are that either they're capes that grew monstrous, or they're manifestations of someone's power, but nobody knows for sure."

"Most metahumans seem to have some kind of weakness in my experience," said Jimmy. "Even Superman has a fairly well-known weakness to kryptonite, radioactive fragments from his home-world."

"Nothing power-related has had a lasting impact. At best, they have been driven away by mass opposition. That's only changed very recently. Since the Family has arrived in Brockton Bay, the Endbringers seem to be making themselves scarce. The last attack appears to have been aborted as it began. The Simurgh turned tail and fled back to orbit when we opened a wormhole to the attack site to send Kaiju through," explained Raptaur.

"It's one of many positive benefits having the Family here has brought," added Danny, "alongside a significant drop in violent crime and violence in general."

"Kaiju?" asked Peter. "Is she another member of the family?"

"Yes, she is our big sister."

Peter looked at the very large lizard, and asked, "Exactly how big is Kaiju?"

"Standing up," said Danny with a small smile, "she's about eighty feet."

"Well," said Jimmy with a rueful smile, "At least she's aptly named."

"Indeed", replied Raptaur with a grin. Danny wondered how Jimmy would feel about Varga's full size. He thought even he would feel intimidated by that, based on Taylor's description, and he had gotten used to Kaiju and Umihebi.

Raptaur again cocked his head. "I believe we are about to receive more company."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The GPS signal told Dragon she was almost to the right address. Metis had called her and asked if she could come meet some extra-dimensional travelers and look at their spaceship. While the family were definitely prone to pranks, Metis had seemed earnest, and Dragon couldn't figure out why they would call her out just for a prank. Such an event would also fit in with another Family trait, which is that they were prone to attract the strange and unusual like flies on flypaper. Regardless, Dragon felt she owed the Family more than one favor, so she would have made the effort to come out even if it was a prank.

As she slowed down over the docks, she could see a familiar purple lizard running up to the outside of the target warehouse. She vectored in to land close to her path, and settled down just as Ianthe was coming up to the warehouse entrance.

"Greetings, Ianthe," said Dragon with a wave. "I take it your sister called you in to see our visitors?"

"She actually told me very little, other than that some of them had some significant medical issues," answered the lizard with a toothy grin. "I believe she was being coy."

"Did she mention the spaceship?" asked Dragon.

Ianthe, for once, actually seemed to pause in surprise. Dragon was quietly pleased at having managed to accomplish that much.

"No, she failed to mention that detail," said Ianthe, her face taking on a look of mild annoyance mixed with slight amusement. "This should be interesting..."

Dragon gestured for Ianthe to take the lead as the two of them entered the warehouse, both wondering how far down the rabbit hole they would end up before the end of the day.
 
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Fangirl Dragon
**Fangirl Dragon**

Dragon followed Ianthe into the spaceship, her optic sensors busily cataloguing everything. Ianthe went though a doorway and Dragon stepped into the doorway, seeing the Family and friends standing around with several humans she didn't know and Taylor Hebert.

As she began looking at the strangers, her eyes fell on a tall woman with dark hair and her facial recognition software tossed up a 99.98 percent match to a face in her memory banks. That was Ellen Ripley.

(Insert computer babble; Ripley is a character in an Earth Aleph movie, Ripley is standing here, not fiction. BSoD; Family involvement: The Family is bullshit, this has something to do with them, place in Family box, ignore impossible.)

Saurial blinked as a high pitched Squee sound, far too high for any human to hear came from Dragon. Bemused, she watched as Dragon crossed to Ripley. "I was so impressed by the way you took control, and that power loader, completely awesome work there."

Ripley was watching the robot looking person wondering if all androids were just completely nuts and became aware the robot thing had asked a question she had missed. "Excuse me?"

The robot had a pen and a small notebook in her hand. "Can I have your autograph?"


*****
I have no excuse for this, except that Dragon, having unlimited interwebz, subroutines and a personality has to watch something on the web... And I can definitely see her loving all space movies. On being a horror fan.
 
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Chapter 12: Magic and Medicine
Chapter 12: Magic and Medicine

Ianthe and Dragon both stopped after passing through the second office door to look at what was sitting in the open area of the warehouse.

"Obvious spaceship is obvious," said Ianthe with a neutral tone of voice.

Dragon cross-checked her Internet references before stating unequivocally, "That is a heavily modified Firefly-class Series 3 bulk transport, but her shuttles are missing and her drive pods have been replaced with what look like jury-rigged Star Trek warp nacelles. I would say that it's some kind of fan-built movie prop, except that hull scans show extensive exposure to vacuum and cosmic radiation, just like one would expect for a well-used spaceship."

"I've seen Star Trek," responded Ianthe. "I'm not familiar with whatever media describes the ship class you mentioned."

Absentmindedly, Dragon said, "I'll send you a link. It's worth watching." As she said this, she started heading toward the open cargo ramp, with Ianthe keeping pace bemusedly.

Inside the cargo bay, Raptaur and Danny Hebert were speaking with two young men that Dragon didn't recognize. At least, they didn't pop up as a hit for anybody with an active warrant or any other watch list for North America. Raptaur turned her upper body as they reached the foot of the ramp, which prompted the three humans to do so as well.

"Ah, very convenient that you're both here at the same time. Allow me to do the introductions," said Raptaur, using Varga's tone. "The power-armored heroine here is Dragon, and the purple-scaled Family member is my cousin Ianthe. Dragon and Ianthe, these two gentlemen are Peter Parker and Jimmy Olsen."

Dragon's head immediately swiveled to stare at the two men. She began scanning fan sites instead of Federal databases. Of course, both characters had appeared in many works, with slight variations in how they were depicted, and they were played by different actors for film or television. What was interesting is that the two men in return seemed to look more at her than at Ianthe. That was atypical -- Dragon's image was fairly well known, whereas members of the Family tended to draw a lot of attention.

"Amy told me that there were people here who needed medical attention," stated Ianthe. "Can you take me to see them?"

"Why don't we collect everyone together again?" said Jimmy. "Pete, why don't we head up. You take the back of the ship, and I'll take the front?" Pete just nodded and the two headed back into the rest of the ship.

{This isn't just some prank?} asked Ianthe to Raptaur in FamTalk.

The larger reptile shook his head. {No, in fact this is quite real, and fascinating. Taylor has been having a lengthy conversation with a couple of the crew about the wormhole drive that got them here.}

{The PRT and the Protectorate would have a fit about this, never mind the reaction of the scientific community and the public to the confirmation that the World As Myth trope is real,} said Ianthe.

{Wait until you meet the rest of the crew,} answered Raptaur with a smirk.

Taylor looked at Danny, and said, "Do they do that a lot?"

He just said, "Yeah, you get used to it after a while. Sometimes you're better off not knowing what they're talking about. Remind me to show you the paperweight they gave me on my birthday."

Ripley, O'Brien, Kevin, Linda, Jackson and Saurial all walked back into the cargo bay together, followed shortly by the rest. The bay was starting to get crowded with four large lizards, twelve humans, and Dragon in her power armor. Saurial handled the introductions, and then Metis and Ianthe headed off to a room that appeared to have been used as a medical facility at one time. Xander, Ellen, Miles and Harry followed them to be seen by the two medi-lizards. Daniel Jackson, Saurial, Raptaur, Kevin and Linda went down the ramp to speak with Dragon about the ship. That left Danny, Randall, Jimmy, Peter and Taylor alone in the cargo bay.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Ellen came into the room with the two large lizards, one being black as night, while the other was covered with purple scales. She was somewhat skittish, having had fairly recent experience with being stuck in a room with large, inhuman creatures with lots of teeth. The two lizards seemed to sense something about that and did their best to be non-threatening. That only went so far.

"Do I have your permission to heal you?" asked Ianthe pleasantly.

Ellen, frowned, but said, "Yes, I give you permission."

The lizard reached out to touch her skin, and Ellen felt the odd sensation of its tendrils burrowing into her skin. She soon felt much more relaxed, and listened calmly as the two lizards spoke to each other in a strange language, one in which they were apparently quite skilled. Ripley tried to make a few of the sounds herself, and her throat hurt.

"Is something the matter?" asked the pretty purple lizard.

Ellen felt slightly embarrassed, and replied, "No, I was just trying to figure out how your mouths make those sounds."

"Dial it back a bit?" said Metis.

Ianthe shook her head. "Actually, Ellen, could you lie down on this bed?"

Ellen hopped up on the old surgical bed and lay down, saying, "Yeah, sure," with a smile. Then she fell asleep.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Fifteen minutes ago, Metis and Ianthe had entered the tight room, moving carefully to fit to either side of an old medical bed. The room had clearly been an infirmary, but all of the cabinets and storage areas for medical equipment were empty.

{So what were the injuries that were so bad that you wanted me here? All of these folks seem mobile,} said Ianthe.

{I think you should look and form your own opinion. I don't want to prejudice your diagnosis. We need to see Ellen Ripley first, however,} answered Metis. With that, Metis stuck her head out the door and called Ellen inside. She clearly looked nervous, which wasn't surprising given her recent experiences. For once, both members of the Family made a concerted effort to appear non-threatening, making sure not to show any teeth when they smiled.

"Do I have your permission to heal you?" asked Ianthe. She wanted to give control over the situation to Ellen as much as possible.

While she clearly wasn't happy about it, Ripley replied, "Yes, I give you permission."

Ianthe reached out and placed a hand on Ripley's bare arm. Ripley was watching the hand, and so she didn't notice when Ianthe's eyes got wide. The lizard immediately dumped a powerful tranquilizer into Ripley's bloodstream, and noticed her get visibly less tense.

{What the HELL is this?} she asked Metis in FamTalk.

{It's one of the xenomorphs. Somehow, she was implanted. I didn't want to try removing it myself, so I just halted its metabolic cycle,} answered Metis.

Ianthe shook her head. {You may have tried to do that, but this thing is growing again.} Ianthe's power took a long, deep scan of the growing alien embryo inside Ripley's body. {This xenomorph is a queen...which is probably why it hasn't killed her already. It looks like it has a fairly lengthy gestation cycle. Ugh, this is awful.}

Metis raised an eyebrow. {I would have thought your power would be excited to find a new life-form?}

{It is, to an extent, but this creature is in some ways worse than Nilbog's creations. It isn't just a bio-weapon. It's designed to be a weapon of terror. The life-cycle for the organism is just too convoluted to be anything else. You've got a queen that lays eggs like a bee, but then there's an intermediate form that requires implantation like a digger wasp. The warriors are custom-made for infiltration, slaughter and kidnapping to get new hosts. The tissues are interesting, as they have to all be capable of withstanding such acidic blood, but honestly, its nowhere near as sophisticated as Varga's physiology,} explained Ianthe.

{They were created for a horror movie,} said Metis. {They're supposed to be horrible. That's assuming H.R. Geiger isn't some kind of seer who just dreamed about other realities.} Her power didn't have enough information to even venture an opinion on that topic.

Ripley started making a strange gagging noise, drawing Ianthe's attention.

"Is something the matter?" asked the lizard. She couldn't sense any kind of obstruction to Ripley's airways.

Ripley blushed, then answered, "No, I was just trying to figure out how your mouths make those sounds."

Metis looked concerned. "Dial it back a bit?"

Ianthe shook her head. This would actually be easier if Ripley was unconscious."Actually, Ellen, could you lie down on this bed?" she asked.

Ripley lay down with a muttered, "Yeah, sure," and Ianthe put her to sleep. Then, she began to look at how to do the same to the xenomorph queen embryo. The brain of the creature was fairly complex, and only approximately mappable to a human brain. A little bit of analysis with some help from her power let her isolate the sleep centers. It looked like xenomorphs never shut down entirely during sleep. They could still react to danger or prey, even when resting. Ianthe did what she could to make sure that the little beast didn't try to start tearing its way out of Ripley's chest as she destroyed it. As an adjunct, she paralyzed its muscle control centers.

The next step was to neutralize the acid that he creature used for blood. It looked as though killing an implanted embryo would kill the host regardless, as the creature would rapidly start to decompose and release the deadly acid inside the host. She was able to neutralize the acidity with a strong base compound. Remarkably, that didn't actually kill the creature. That was accomplished by destroying the creatures nascent nervous system, starting with the autonomous areas of the brain. Ianthe began converting the chitin and tissue of the alien into material used to repair Ripley's insides. The poor woman had signs of sleep deprivation and night terrors. Her internal organs were also damaged by the growth of the xenomorph, though not fatally so.

{All right, the creature is gone, and I've healed her other injuries,} Ianthe said to Metis. {I'm going to wake her up.}

Ripley opened her eyes. Then she sat up quickly and put her arms out to steady herself. "What did you do?" she asked, looking at Ianthe with a bit of horror creeping into her expression.

"Ellen," said Ianthe. "I had to put you to sleep briefly. You had a xenomorph implanted inside your body. I removed it and destroyed it."

"That's not possible," said Ellen. "We all scanned ourselves before we went into cryosleep to make sure none of those things made it off of LV-426."

"It could have happened after you were put into cryosleep," suggested Metis. "We don't actually know what caused the accident that resulted in you being jettisoned just as the Ship of Fools arrived on scene."

"Burke..." said Ripley, "He tried to implant Newt and me with those things as a way of smuggling them through quarantine...but I SAW him die. He was trapped in a room with one of the creatures."

"The good news," interjected Ianthe, "is that we were able to save you. If you had had a normal surgeon try to remove the implanted embryo, it could have killed you. They were designed to be almost impossible to remove."

"Designed?" asked Ripley. "You mean somebody created those things?"

Ianthe nodded her head up and down. "They were clearly created, possibly by the species whose remains you found on that crashed spacecraft."

It took some time for Ellen to calm down, but eventually the very shaken woman was able to leave the infirmary under her own power.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Hey guys, what's up?" said Xander as he came into the room. Despite his relaxed pose, Ianthe had seen him look sideways at the obviously distraught Ripley as she left past him.

"Ellen had a serious health issue that could have proved fatal without our intervention, but it isn't really our place to tell you more," answered Ianthe. Ripley could share her situation with the others if she so chose. "I would like to perform another exam similar to the one done by Metis earlier. I can say, however, that we almost certainly can restore your eye. How did that happen?"

"My eye?" asked Xander. He put his hand up to his eye patch. The idea of being able to see with binary vision again was very appealing. "It was crushed by the thumb of a psychotic preacher. If you can...yes, I would like you to do it."

Ianthe began the exam. Thankfully, there were no alien embryos sitting inside Xander Harris. What there was instead was a pretty damning record of injury, obviously going back to childhood. Xander Harris had been abused to a degree that it was surprising Child Protective Services had never been called. Even in Brockton Bay, that kind of injury on a child would have raised a red flag. What was even stranger, though, were the signs of more recent injury. Injuries from the last few years showed signs of rapid healing -- rapid enough that he was on par with some of the weakest capes with regenerative healing. Even more confusing was that his bone fractures reminded her of those taken by low-level brutes, but he had none of the structural changes typical of those capes. He also seemed to have an insane ability to oxygenate his blood and had a large lung capacity, and his blood contained a much larger than normal amount of myoglobin. He probably had very little issue holding his breath for extended periods of time. His blood had antibodies for syphilis, malaria and small pox, but his body showed none of the after-effects common in those diseases. His cells also showed signs of genetic tampering, but it wasn't entirely clear what had been done beyond splicing in DNA of indeterminate origin. It was when she was looking at his brain that she found her biggest surprise. He showed evidence of being mastered, at multiple times and probably by multiple different sources. Long term mastering could cause brain damage, and Xander had more than few spots that showed signs. He also had obviously had multiple concussions. She decided on the most efficient course.

"Xander, the first thing I'm going to do, with your permission, is heal your eye. I'm then going to apply a one-use healing symbiote to your wrist that will clean up a number of other minor problems, including some issues from what look like multiple instances of mastering. Have you ever been controlled against your will by somebody with powers?" asked Ianthe.

"Er...it was known to happen from time to time," he replied sheepishly.

"From time to time?" asked Metis curiously.

"While I was in high school, I was possessed by a hyena primal spirit. I also had my body taken over by the spirit of a soldier on Halloween. I got whammied several times by vamps, and I was caught at a party with a fear demon who made us see our worst nightmares. I got trapped in a dream realm by an injured kid having an out-of-body experience. Oh, and I got taken over by the spawn of a Bezoar demon. I also temporarily had my memory of my own identity wiped out by magic. I may be forgetting a few," he clarified. He kind of hoped they wouldn't ask too many more questions, as some of it was pretty embarrassing...especially Dracula.

{I think we might want to talk to Varga about magical cleansing. Apart from living on a portal to a Hell dimension, it seems like he's been violated repeatedly} suggested Metis.

Ianthe responded to Metis with a short, {I agree.}

To Xander, she said, "I'm pretty sure we can make you feel a thousand percent better. So, let's get started!"

Ianthe spent a period of about five minutes removing scar tissue and growing Xander a new eyeball. She then went through a series of tests with him to make sure that his vision was correct and even in both eyes. Based on the smile on Xander's face, he was quite happy with the results. Once that was done, she took out a one-shot healing symbiote and pressed it to his wrist. He quirked an eyebrow at the squeak it emitted, but refrained from commenting. After a few minutes, it was obvious that he was feeling the impact of the symbiote.

"Wow, I feel great, like I just had a whole pack of Twinkies injected into my veins!" he exclaimed.

"I wouldn't recommend that treatment in real life," snarked Ianthe. "I also want to discuss the mystical aspect with Saurial and Raptaur. We may want you to go through a cleansing process, given where you grew up and what kinds of things have happened to you."

Xander thought back to a certain hilltop, remembering the pain from the dark magic flowing straight into him as Darth Willow tried to destroy the world. "That might be a good idea," he agreed quietly.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Miles O'Brien's body showed the evidence of a life lived with readily available medical care of an advanced nature. Ianthe had seen Star Trek a number of times, and now that she could examine somebody who lived in that world, she could see the results. Miles was healthy to a degree rarely found in the years spanning the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries. The problem was in Miles's brain. The story of how they came to be in this universe mentioned in passing that Miles had been unjustly convicted of a crime. He had had memories of a long and brutal prison sentence implanted in his brain, and now Ianthe was seeing the problem with this. Apparently, the monsters responsible for this were able to create tactile memories, but could not replicate the full range of emotional responses. What they had done instead was tear away context from his existing memories and tie them to the fake memories. The result was a massive amount of damage to his mental state. No wonder the poor man had tried to kill himself. They created a set of new experiences for him that were all completely fresh, without the benefits of time lessening their impact, and deadened his ability to properly remember swaths of his real life. There were signs that he had received treatment to reduce the impact of these memories, but that only addressed a part of the problem.

Ianthe looked up at Metis. {I'm not sure I can fix this. You know I'm still not comfortable with brains, especially for things that aren't anatomical or biochemical corrections to a former healthy state.}

{I know,} said Metis apologetically, {but what was done to him was horrible, and I know I don't have the ability to fix things. You, at least, could improve things for him dramatically.}

Miles was looking at them curiously as they spoke in FamTalk. Ianthe turned to look at him and explained, "Miles, we know you had many years of memories implanted in your mind of a prison sentence you never served."

"Aye, that happened. But Julian...Doctor Bashir, treated me afterward. He helped me get over them," said O'Brien.

"The problem comes from how they implanted them," continued Ianthe. "They didn't just add new memories. The process that they used corrupted some of your existing memories. I believe that I can fix at least some, if not all, of that damage. It would not only improve your recall of your actual experiences, but it would also significantly weaken the emotional context for the implanted memories. You would still remember having them, but you wouldn't have the visceral reaction to them."

"You would have to go into my head?" asked O'Brien skeptically.

"It would be non-invasive, similar to how Metis and I have healed others," said the purple-scaled lizard.

"Can I think about it and get back to you?" he asked.

Ianthe nodded her head. "Of course. For as long as you're in this dimension, the option remains open."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Harry Dresden," started Ianthe, "I'm honestly not entirely sure whether you are incredibly lucky or the opposite. You have suffered gunshot wounds in various places, numerous broken bones, multiple concussions, you show signs of being poisoned and of being resuscitated more than once, you have antibodies in your blood from a number of truly horrifying diseases, you have severe burn scarring on your hand, and it looks as if you've recovered from both a broken back and a bullet through the heart, somehow."

"Um..." said Harry with hesitation, "I remember most of that, but not the bullet through the heart. I'm pretty sure I would die from that, barring intervention from a higher power."

"Given your present circumstances," interjected Metis, "I wouldn't rule that out entirely."

"You've also got signs of brain damage from a traumatic event, but it isn't clear how it happened. The pattern of injury makes it seem like it happened from the inside out, but there's no sign of serious hemorrhage or stroke," added Ianthe.

Harry sighed, and then started to explain about Lash -- what she was, what she became, and how she ended.

"So, the shadow of a Fallen Angel was living in your mind, and she sacrificed herself to save your life?" asked Metis. "I'm going to say the same thing we said about Xander. We're going to talk to Varga about magical cleansing to go beyond the physical and into the metaphysical."

"What's wrong with Xander?" asked Harry with a worried tone.

"That's for him to say," commented Ianthe," but he may just beat you in terms of shear number of traumatic events suffered."

"Well, I'm willing to undergo a mystical check-up. Is that everything?" said Dresden.

"No, I still have to heal you," answered Ianthe. At which point she reached out and grabbed Dresden's shoulder before he could say anything else.

{You're not usually so abrupt,} commented Metis.

{My patients are not usually so stubborn and deliberately obtuse,} the other lizard replied with an eye-roll.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Did you learn anything about magic," asked Danny, looking at Randall.

Randall replied, "Oh, yes, quite a lot actually. I even managed to summon a magical fire."

"You're going to learn to be a wizard?" asked Jimmy, curiously.

"Oh HELL no," replied Randall.

"Why not?" said Taylor.

"OK, first thing about Harry's type of wizard -- they have a ton of laws that prohibit what you can do. The thing is, they NEED those laws because magic is capable of some truly dangerous things. A cape with those powers would run the risk of the Birdcage or a kill order," he explained.

Taylor nodded her head in understanding, but Peter asked, "I've heard the Birdcage mentioned a few times...what is it?"

Danny took it upon himself to answer. "It's a prison for the worst offenders among criminal capes. It works as a deterrent because once you go into the Birdcage, there's no way to get you out again. It's a one-way trip."

"That seems a bit harsh. What if they make a mistake?" asked Peter. Jimmy also looked interested in the answer.

Taylor answered, "Then that person is trapped there forever. It's like the death penalty. I think Dragon still has the ability to talk to prisoners, though."

"Why can Dragon do that?" asked Jimmy.

"She actually runs the prison," answered Danny. "Anyway, let's get back to magic."

Both Peter and Jimmy looked as if they wanted to continue asking questions about the Birdcage, but Randall took up his line of conversation again. "The second problem with Harry's type of magic is that right now, it tends to screw with technology. Tinker tech might be OK, but I'm pretty sure I would have to give up gaming, which is a non-starter." He explained a little bit more of what Harry had told him, about how magic went through cycles of how it affected the world, and that right now, that effect was to screw with technology. No more XBox or other gaming consoles, no more computers.

"I'm pretty sure magic doesn't have that same effect in every world," said Jimmy. "I know I've seen Zatanna Zatara use a smart phone, and she is definitely a spellcaster."

"I think Doctor Strange isn't that limited, either, but he's so powerful that he tends to use magic for everything anyway," added Peter.

"Well, if I get to visit your universes, maybe I'll look them up, but I'm giving Harry's brand of magic a hard pass," said Randall.

"It may not be that easy to learn," replied Peter. "I think Strange studied for years before he was proficient."

"You would be surprised how quickly I learn," said Randall. "It's a thing with me."

A thought occurred to Taylor based on what Randall had just said. The more she thought about it, the more she was pretty sure she had heard Randall's voice before. The only thing that didn't make sense was that she couldn't figure out why the heck Über and Leet (because if Randall was Über, then Kevin was almost certainly Leet) would be working for her father at the DWU, and associating with a Protectorate-affiliated hero group. Had they gone straight in this universe?

Peter and Jimmy managed to turn the conversation back to the Birdcage, which in turn led to a very lively debate about incarcerating criminals with superpowers. Jimmy described what little he knew about the Phantom Zone and how it was controlled by Superman. Most of the others thought the idea of a prison controlled by one person wasn't a great idea, but that led to the question of how that was any different from the Birdcage. Peter said he was pretty sure that the Federal government in his world had a superhuman containment facility, but he didn't know much about it. It was effectively Top Secret. Danny questioned why the facility itself should be secret. Sure, he reasoned, you keep the security secret, but having a prison like that was a deterrent as well. The debate continued until Metis and Ianthe returned.

"How did it go?" asked Danny.

"It went well," answered Ianthe. "The others are all resting. Healing tends to use a lot of energy."

The others invited the two lizards to join in the debate, but that was interrupted by Saurial and the others returning up the ramp from where they had been discussing engineering. More specifically, they had been debating on what kinds of fixes and enhancements could be made to the Ship of Fools.

"I think you're all going to be quite impressed with what we've come up with..." said Dragon.

"I agree," added Raptaur. "I'm quite impressed with the ideas."

Ianthe, Metis and Danny all shared glances. This was likely to get interesting...
 
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Chapter 13: Luck and Memories
Chapter 13: Luck and Memories

"So, what did you think of our guests?" asked Jimmy, looking at Daniel.

The Family and their DWU friends had gone back to their office with an agreement to have the dimensional travelers head over to the BBFO office in the morning. Everybody had needed time to absorb information, and some of the crew of the Ship of Fools needed a good night's rest to recover from healing.

Daniel thought about what to say. "Saurial at least is exceptionally intelligent. Her grasp of the wormhole mechanics would have easily let her hold her own in a conversation with the Ancients who designed the drive. She demonstrated an ability to visualize higher-dimension mathematics and spatial relationships. That puts her at above-human-level intelligence."

"I would say all of the reptiles seemed exceptionally intelligent," added Peter. "Talking to Raptaur, I sometimes felt like a kid talking to his grandparent."

Taylor thought about what she knew about this reality's Taylor and Varga. The merger with the demon must have had a dramatic impact on her mental abilities. 'I'm good in math...but that's for an American high school student, not for a member of an ancient race of super engineers,' she thought. She wondered how much of the Taylor/Varga merger was still Taylor? She would have to ask some additional questions if she got the chance.

"The folks from the DWU were pretty sharp as well," added Jimmy. "Danny and Randall both impressed me."

"Linda and Kevin both seemed to have a very sophisticated understanding of the technology on this ship," added Daniel. "Some of that may have been knowing the fiction about our universes, but they still showed an understanding of technology far in advance of what should be possible on Earth at this point in history." He thought Samantha would have found herself in the odd position of not being the most intelligent person in the conversation. She would have more than held her own with Linda and Kevin (and Daniel, of course), but Saurial and Raptaur would have been a different matter. In some ways, it was like talking to the Asgard, if the Asgard had had better senses of humor.

"Is anybody else freaked out about the fact that ALL of our universes seem to be depicted in fiction here?" asked Peter.

"Mine isn't," said Taylor.

"That may only be because we're in an analog of your universe right now," replied Jimmy.

"Technically, that just means that most of the fiction in this universe is set in your universe, or at least THIS universe," suggested Daniel with a small smile.

They all thought about that for a moment.

"Hey, guys," called out a voice from the doorway. The four in the galley turned and universally stared in surprise.

"Xander, they fixed your eye?" asked Taylor.

The twenty-something from Sunnydale walked over to the replicator alcove as he answered. "Yep, they actually fixed quite a few little aches and injuries, some of which I stopped noticing because I've had them so long. I'm STARVING now, though. I'm actually surprised the other patients haven't shown up to refuel."

"If nothing else," said Peter, "the healing here has been worth the stop in this universe. I'm going to guess that they fixed Harry's hand, as well?"

"Probably," answered Xander, "but he was the last one in. I didn't stick around to see him leave. I think they fixed something fairly serious with Ellen, though...Metis and Ianthe described it as, 'life-threatening.'"

The five of them shared a meal, and Xander did indeed eat like he was sixteen again and recovering from yet another possession. Harry showed up eventually, as he too was quite hungry, but other than showing the group his healed hand, he was rather withdrawn and thoughtful for the rest of the meal.

Miles and Ellen didn't make an appearance until the next morning.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Is it just me, or has everybody on that ship been dealt a bad hand by fate?" asked Randall of the group sitting in the BBFO office.

"The ones that I healed definitely had," answered Ianthe. "Each of them reminded me of how capes look after they've survived multiple Endbringer fights."

"The others were the same," added Metis. "They just didn't have serious-enough current problems to merit your attention, Ianthe."

"They are all extraordinary people who have survived exceptional trials. Even those with powers have been set upon by challenges that easily could have exceeded their abilities," contributed Varga.

"Is there anybody here who thinks we shouldn't help these folks?" asked Saurial, looking around the room. Nobody objected, which was what she expected.

"They all seem like good people," said Linda, "so it would be kind of hypocritical for me to argue against helping them. You guys," she said while indicating the lizards, "have helped folks who arguably deserved it less."

"So you would be willing oversee the refit of the Ship of Fools as we discussed?" asked Saurial of Linda.

"Of course...but are they going to need it? Aren't we going to just help them get home?" asked the female tinker.

"We will, but I think Saurial and Raptaur have some ideas to assist," replied Metis. "At a minimum, we have access to information about each of their universes that may help them in the future."

"I'm not saying I'm against it," said Kevin, "but wouldn't that change their timelines?"

"It undoubtedly would for those individuals, but there seem to be multiple instances of each universe with variations. Just look at their Taylor versus the one in this universe. Spider-Man and Dr. Jackson also have encountered worlds where alternate versions of themselves existed. I would suggest we limit our intervention to close to their time of origin, however, to avoid causing problems for them. Time travel is not something to use without great care." Varga's tone made it clear that this was a serious topic.

"That still gives us a lot of leeway," said Saurial. "Dragon, would you be able to summarize the major events we know of from fictional accounts of their realities?"

"Of course. I'll also come up with a list of questions that we can use to try and narrow down any variations. The comic book universes in particular suffer from a plethora of interpretations," replied the woman in power armor.

Kevin raised his hand for attention. "What happens if some of them don't want to go back? More importantly, what happens if they want to collect their loved ones and head somewhere else? Personally, I wouldn't necessarily want to live in a dimension with Galactus, or where Ripley's aliens might take over Earth."

"We can deal with that when and if it comes up," answered Saurial. "We have resources and a certain amount of political clout with the local government."

"Not just the local government," said Dragon. "I'm not sure you realize how much of an impact you've made beyond Brockton Bay, but the Protectorate, the PRT and both the state and Federal governments are going to be pretty accommodating to anything reasonable you request. If nothing else, nobody wants to see Kaiju get irritated...especially the people who are privy to what happened with Eidolon."

None of the Family seemed particularly surprised by this statement, which confirmed to Dragon that they were well aware of the impact their actions had had. She suspected that quite a lot of their interactions with the Protectorate had been calculated to have a specific effect. They demonstrated a surprisingly savvy understanding of human psychology and political maneuvering. That fit with what little she knew of their history.

"What, if anything, do you intend to tell the Protectorate?" asked Dragon. Implicit in that statement was the fact that Dragon had certain procedures she would follow when appropriate...unless ordered otherwise by lawful authority.

"For now, BBFO is working with affiliated DWU capes on classified technology. For those in the know of such things, we're working on higher-dimensional mathematics related to wormholes," answered Saurial with a grin. "We will of course share any significant breakthroughs in the science if it is safe to do so." Of course, it would be up to the Family to decide what was safe.

Phrased that way, Dragon would have some leeway on how to respond to inquiries. Technically, she was supposed to report visitors from alternate dimensions, but there were allowances for extenuating circumstances, especially now that she had the ability to push back against orders from other authorities. The convenient thing about bureaucracy was that there was almost always a way to justify obfuscation and delay. Too bad it cut both ways.

The group briefly discussed the plans for the spaceship refit, then Dragon reiterated her intention to come back tomorrow to meet with the full group and left for the Rig. Linda, Randall and Kevin also left to take care of some things before bed, including getting dinner.

After the rest departed, Metis said, "We're going to have to monitor what happens with the Endbringers. We don't really know if it is the Family, or Varga specifically, that is causing them to hold back. It would be terrible if they started to move as soon as you two crossed into another reality."

"We still have a lot of work before we get to that point," said Saurial.

Varga added, "If nothing else, we should experiment and see their reaction. It will at least provide us with another useful data point for our analysis."

Saurial nodded, and said, "We also want to consider if we want to offer permanent symbiotes to any of them."

"Secrecy isn't really an issue for people who will be returning to their own realities," thought Ianthe out loud. "We'll want to monitor what effect a symbiote might have on any special abilities. We don't want to foul up Harry's magic, or Peter's superpowers."

"I believe the risk is minimal," said Metis. "Our powers haven't been negatively impacted, and we have the ability to remove them if they do cause an issue. Speaking of magic, though, we wanted to know if there was some type of magical cleansing or healing that could be applied to Xander and Harry. They've been exposed to some very dark magic."

"I'm also pretty sure that some of the abilities Xander has are enhanced mystically," said Ianthe. "There isn't a purely physiological explanation for why he seems to be at a Brute 1 or 2 level of resilience and healing."

Raptaur sat and thought for a moment. "I do have a number of possibilities in my memories. I will have to think about it and see if I can come up with something that will work for them, given their origins and the divergent magical systems." He would also have to account for the fact that Dresden had apparently been gifted with the Mantle of Winter as the Winter Knight, though he had yet to try and draw upon it to any significant degree. Some diagnostic spells may be in order before deciding on an approach.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

As the three capes headed off to their respective work areas, Randall spoke up. "Just FYI, Harry and Xander know that I'm Über."

Kevin looked at his friend. "How did that come up? You know that knowing you're Über pretty much outs me as Leet."

Randall shrugged and answered, "We were talking about secrets. Harry and Xander were a little freaked that we probably knew some of their secrets, especially the ones they knew that they weren't at liberty to share. They were also a little suspicious when Metis told them that Linda didn't know all of the Family secrets."

Linda just scoffed. "Secrets are just part of being a cape. I don't expect the Family to share everything with me. Hell, something tells me I don't WANT them to share everything with me."

"Yeah," agreed Randall, "but I can see where they were coming from. It would be pretty fucking weird to know that there was a story about you that made some of your most deeply held secrets common knowledge."

Kevin laughed. "Yeah, imagine if everybody knew that you wrote homoerotic Legend fanfiction."

"Asshole!" said Randall. "That was just once, and it involved the whole Triumvirate, and I was fifteen."

Linda was clearly holding in her laughter, and doing a pretty bad job of it. "I don't think you have to worry about Xander going back home and telling Buffy and Willow about your secret identity."

"Yeah, but what if somebody writes a new Buffy story about Xander's adventure, and mentions our identities?" asked Kevin.

Linda's face turned skeptical. "Don't you think that's pretty fucking unlikely?"

"As unlikely as a spaceship turning up with Spider-Man and a half-dozen other characters from different fictional universes?" asked Kevin mulishly.

Linda waved that away. "If you're worried about it, just tell Saurial or Metis about it. You guys are DWU now. The union has your back, and that means the Family has got your back. You really think anybody is going to mess with you?"

Both Randall and Kevin looked at each other. Neither of them had really adjusted to the idea that they were now part of something like that. For years, they had balanced their hobbies and criminal careers on the edge of not pissing off anybody powerful enough to make an example of them, whether it was the Protectorate or the other gangs. They were both quiet with thought as they waved goodbye to Linda and went into their new lab.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Ripley was walking through a metallic corridor. The dirt and condensation were just like the engineering access corridors on the Nostromo, but she didn't recognize this specific location. She tried to make as little noise as possible as she moved through the dark. That was a hard-learned lesson. You never know what's listening for you in the dark, or whether this time the monsters would be real.

She could hear her heart beating rapidly as she started moving toward a light up ahead. It never even occurred to her to stop moving forward. Each foot step was automatic, like something was calling to her. With each step, a nagging sensation kept trying to draw her attention. When she was about five meters from the opening with the light, she could tell what it was. That odor was terrifyingly familiar. She never really talked to anybody about the smell. A single xenomorph tended to smell like their environment -- engine grease, dirt, maybe blood. The breath stank of carrion. An area infested with xenomorphs, though, smelled of rotting flesh, musk and sourness. She remembered the egg-chamber of the queen on LV-426 with a shudder.

As she walked into the light, she could see the wrinkled, ovoid eggs sitting in the middle of the room. Around the walls were the other members of the
Ship of Fools crew, entombed and waiting. Taylor, Peter, Daniel, Jimmy, Miles and Harry. As she looked at the scene, the thought came to her that the eggs were her eggs. She looked down at her hands, only to see the legs of a xenomorph queen. As she was working through the implications, her eyes were drawn to the motion of one of the eggs in the center of the room opening. A face-hugger slowly crawled out, then looked at the trapped human hosts, as if choosing. Then it JUMPED.

Ellen Ripley jumped upright in her bed, her forming scream suppressed with a skill born of long experience. She stared at the bulkhead while her breath panted in and out in staccato bursts, eventually slowing down along with her heart rate.

Knowing that sleep wouldn't come again easily, she got up and went to the galley to find something to eat. She had missed dinner.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Miles was sitting alone in the dining area with a cup of orange juice and a bagel with cream cheese. He was halfheartedly filling his stomach as he thought back to his dream. He was remembering the cell again. The cell he had never been in, but that he remembered better than he remembered his own apartment on Deep Space 9. The discussion with the lizards today had obviously brought those memories back to him. He hadn't had a dream quite that bad in months. It made him consider what Ianthe had told him she could do. If the Argrathi really had screwed up some of his own real memories, then fixing it was appealing. The idea that he had suffered damage to his real memories actually explained some things about his behavior after getting back home.

He looked up as Ellen came into the dining area.

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" he asked.

"Bad dreams," she said simply as she headed to the replicator.

After she brought her tray back to the table, he asked, "Did your session with the lizards dredge up some bad memories, too?"

She looked at him for a moment, considering. "Yes, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse if they hadn't healed me. My nightmares were about what could have happened."

"They helped you, then?" he asked. After she nodded affirmatively, he explained, "They made me an offer, too. They said they could help fix some of what happened when I had those memories of prison stuck in my head."

"You told them no?" she asked, slightly surprised.

"I'm a little wary of having more people rooting around in my noggin," he said slightly ruefully. "Although they seem to be able to work miracles, and that's coming from somebody who's used to medicine being able to fix almost anything."

She didn't say anything for a minute as she chewed her cereal. After a moment, she spoke. "Frankly, those lizards scare the hell out of me. I've had more than enough of being around non-humans with mouths full of pointy teeth. Despite my own prejudices, though, they've been nothing but helpful, and they saved my life. I don't think the doctors in my universe could have done the same."

"They gave Xander back his eye, you know. I saw him when he was coming out of his session after you left," said O'Brien.

"That's good," she replied. "He's too young to have to live with that kind of disability."

"He's too young to deal with a lot of what he's dealt with, honestly," said O'Brien. "But then, so was I at one point in time..."

"The universe doesn't really care how old you are," Ripley said fatalistically. "My daughter was too young to lose her mother. Newt was too young to lose her family, or to have to hide to stay alive."

"Did I tell you about the time Molly got caught in a time vortex?" asked Miles. He continued when Ellen shook her head with a negative. "She was sent back in time and grew up outside civilization. She came back as a teenager, but she was almost feral."

"Oh my God," said Ripley, "how did you handle that?"

"We got lucky. The older Molly went back into the rift and sent her younger self back through right after she arrived," he explained.

Ripley stared at him for a long moment. "So, what happened to the teen-aged Molly?"

Miles looked down at the table and said quietly, "We think that when she sent her younger self back into the future, she destroyed her own timeline and ceased to exist."

Ellen considered that. How would it be to meet a teen-aged version of your own child, only to watch her effectively kill herself to save a younger version of herself? Then again, had it really happened at all? It sounded as though that timeline...retroactively never occurred?

"I...don't know if I can really understand time travel like that," said Ripley. "I can say that I envy you being able to watch your daughter grow up."

Miles thought about that. He probably should focus more on the fact that he still had his daughter to raise. That thought also made it easier to decide how to respond to Ianthe's offer.
 
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Omake of an Omake: Weird Ideas
Omake of an Omake: Weird Ideas

Lisa let herself into the BBFO offices to find that Amy was sitting with a laptop, cackling fiendishly. "Are you dreaming up some new abomination to unleash on the unwitting citizens of Brockton Bay?" she asked her friend.

Amy shook her head. "I found this old fanfic about the Triumvirate having a threesome. I'm writing an omake of it."

"Wait," said Lisa, her face getting serious. "Are you writing an omake inside an omake of an omake?"

"I guess. Why?" asked Amy, suddenly concerned.

"You don't want to go too many levels deep," explained Lisa. "You can get lost down there." Lisa looked over and noticed a top spinning on the table. "How long has that been spinning?" she asked.

"That?" said Amy. "I'm not sure -- Saurial started it up a couple of weeks ago. Why, does it mean something?"

"Nah, just curious," said Lisa. "So tell me about this story you found..."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The Yautja dropped his tactical cloak as he reached the building his target had entered. This prey was his most challenging hunt yet. Success here would see him ranked elite. Charging the plasma projector on his shoulder, he began to push open the door to enter, when suddenly it was yanked open, surprising the hunter.

A lizard in a trench coat and fedora was standing inside the door. "Excuse me," she said loudly. "Did you know that there is an under-aged girl living at this address?"

The hunter began to back away slowly, having lost the advantage...when he heard a puff of gas and felt a stinging sensation on the back of his neck...followed by nothingness.

"Whelp," said Ianthe, coming up from behind the unconscious alien, "looks like we caught another one. Did you guys get that on film?"

'Yep, we got it. That last one is enough for our first episode," came Leet's voice out of the hand radio on the side table.

"I love reality TV," said Saurial with a smirk.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"I TOLD you to clean out that fridge before we packed it from the old place," yelled Randall, ducking down behind a table.

"I thought you said you did it!" yelled back Kevin. He dove behind an old couch, dodging a horde of miniature rockets and lasers.

Advancing across the tile from the cracked-open mini-fridge was a horde of tiny green beings. Intermittently, one of them would yell, "WAAAUGH!"

The door to the lab opened and Linda came in, asking, "What's all this noise...eep!" She ducked as a tiny green being flew at her on a crude flying machine that appeared to have been assembled from kitchen utensils.

"It's Leet's fault!" yelled Randall. Linda jumped down beside him, using the table as cover.

Suddenly, the power went out, plunging the lab into darkness.

"Why is it so DARK in here?" asked Linda.

"Yeah," said Kevin. "It suddenly got really grim and dark all of a sudden."

There was a sudden, blinding explosion in the darkness, followed by a tiny shout of, "MORE DAKKA!"

"We have to do something...what's that red glow?" yelled Randall.

Kevin tried to find the glow, and noticed it on the workbench. "I think that's the potato salad from last week."

"Ugh, gross guys," said Linda. "I've seen some disgusting shit, but really?"

In the darkness there began a loud clanking sound, as if a miniature giant mech was beginning to move.

"KNOCK OVER THE POTATO SALAD!" yelled Randall. Kevin tossed one of his shoes at it, knocking it off of the bench and onto the floor. The dull red glow grew brighter with an otherworldly light.

A disturbing voice called out, "SPUDS FOR THE SPUD GOD!"

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Miles was waiting for the lizards to get back. They had been called away on a sudden emergency while they were working on the new drive schematics, so he was alone in the BBFO offices. He was busy looking at a drink machine that seemed to be some kind of replicator that just did liquids when there was a loud knock on the door. Not sure what to do, he went over to answer the door.

Standing outside was a man wearing a full set of power armor. "Can I help you?" Miles asked.

The man asked, "Are Raptaur or Saurial here? I was supposed to talk to them about a project."

Miles shook his head. "I'm sorry, they got called away on a sudden emergency. Can I take a message?"

"Just tell them that Armsmaster stopped by to talk about our project, please," answered the man. He then looked closely at Miles, and said, "I really liked The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain."

Miles just stared for a moment, then said, "Thanks a lot. I'll let them know you stopped by." Without another word, Armsmaster turned away and walked back to his motorcycle. "That was weird," he said to himself as he went back to look at the drink machine.
 
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Chapter 14: Glory, Giants and Guessing
Chapter 14: Glory, Giants and Guessing

"It seems kind of quiet," said Miles as the group of them strolled through the streets of the Docks. It was fairly early on a Sunday, so few people were out and about. They had been passed by a couple of joggers, and only a couple of people who looked as if they were heading home from a late night. Overall, it felt more like a neighborhood that was on the verge of gentrifying than one home to a drug gang.

"Trust me," said Taylor. "Quiet is good for the docks." As they passed through the warehouses and industrial buildings, they kept catching glimpses of the bay. The absence of a massive hulk blocking the entrance was a constant reminder to Taylor that this wasn't her home city.

Ellen was looking around at the city. "The skies seem so empty," she commented.

"Yeah, that too," agreed Miles.

"Why is it that humans seem to take so long to develop flying cars?" asked Xander. "I mean, it's not like the ones on the street are much safer." 'Especially if a Slayer is driving,' he thought fondly.

"It actually has more to do with regulation than technology," explained Daniel. "That, and having the right infrastructure." At the looks from some of his companions, he said, "What? We ran into a number of advanced civilizations in the galaxy that had what were functionally flying cars, though they didn't call them that."

"You mean like those Asgard you were talking about at breakfast?" asked Jimmy.

Daniel shook his head. "They tended to teleport everywhere...even around their ships."

"They must have been seriously in need of cardio," joked Xander.

"What's that?" asked Ellen, pointing to a speck moving in the sky. As they watched, they could see that it was actually a flying teen-aged girl.

Taylor tensed up, and began building up a swarm out of sight in the nearby buildings. "That's Glory Girl," she said. "In my world, she and I were on opposite sides." That was putting it mildly. Glory Girl had a serious hate on for the Undersiders for taking her sister hostage at the bank.

"Remember that we're not in your world," suggested Harry.

"I'm not going to start anything..." said Taylor, but there was an obvious implication that she would be ready to finish anything the other girl started.

"I should have brought my web shooters..." muttered Peter in a low voice.

"TAYLOR!" yelled Glory Girl, clearly smiling. For probably the twentieth time since they arrived on this world, Taylor felt her world tilt at right angles away from her expectations.

"Glory Girl?" she answered hesitantly.

Victoria Dallon dropped down to the ground next to Taylor. "Hey," she asked, "have you seen Amy yet this morning? She was out way early, so I figured she headed right over to the Docks. Her truck was gone, at least."

"Um...no, I haven't seen her yet, but she's...probably at the DWU?" ventured Taylor.

"Well, if you see her, ask her to give me a call. She's not answering her phone again." She looked around and saw the group of strangers with Taylor. "Oh, I'm sorry, who are your friends?"

Taylor struggled for a plausible answer to that question that wouldn't sound crazy. "They're friends of my dad. I'm taking them over there now." She proceeded to introduce them...with only first names to avoid any risk of the Dallon girl recognizing any of the names.

"Hi, as you probably caught already, I'm Victoria Dallon, a.k.a. Glory Girl," she said cheerily. She peered at Ellen for a moment. "Wow, you know, you look a LOT like Sigourney Weaver. I totally wish I had your cheekbones."

"Thanks?" ventured Ripley.

"Anyway, I'm supposed to meet up with Dean. Say hi to your dad and the lizards for me!" With that, Glory Girl took to the skies again.

"Wow, the vitriolic hatred she feels for you was palpable," said Dresden sarcastically.

Unsure how to respond, Taylor just shrugged her shoulders and started walking again. The others quickly resumed following her. Her first sight of the DWU yard had her stopping short, both at the very visible security and the new double row of fencing. In between the two rows of fences were odd poles sticking up out of the ground without an immediately obvious purpose.

The group of them walked up the guardhouse, with Taylor in the lead. She didn't recognize the man inside. "Hi," she said to him, "this is probably going to sound kind of strange, but..."

"You want to know how to get to the BBFO offices?" he said plainly.

"Uh...yes. How did you know?" she asked.

He smiled and said, "Saurial stopped by earlier and mentioned that you would be by, and that you wouldn't remember how to get to the office."

Unable to stop himself, Jimmy asked, "Did she explain why?"

"Nope!" he said. He then proceeded to give them instructions on how to get to the BBFO building on foot, then wished them a nice day.

As they walked in through the gate, Harry said, "For a labor union, these folks have a LOT of security."

"They always had some security," replied Taylor. "The Merchants were based in the Docks, and you could also get Empire or ABB trying to push into the territory. The Dockworkers always fought for their neutrality and to keep the gangs out. They had the numbers and the skills...a lot of them are ex-military. They do seem to be a lot more blatant and open about the security in this world, though..."

She paused as she saw a very familiar, stocky woman taking a group of dogs for a walk on the other side of the street. "Rachel?" she said.

The woman didn't stop, but she did look at Taylor, give an acknowledging wave, and say, "Hi, Taylor." That...was positively extroverted for the girl, at least in Taylor's experience.

When they finally got to the BBFO, they stopped to ponder the sign. Daniel recognized the language, though it wasn't one he could readily translate. Xander was the only one to comment, saying, "That's not at all wigsome."

The knock on the door by Taylor was answered by a black-scaled head poking out. "Ah, good, you're all here," said Metis. "Dragon is here already, so come in."

As they walked into the BBFO office, Miles noticed the material of the walls and doors. Running his hand along one wall, he asked, "What kind of metal is this? I don't know if I've seen it before."

Metis grinned at him. "It's possible that you have, given your background, but I doubt that you would recognize it in this context. The walls are lined with electron-degenerate matter. We usually just call it EDM."

"Or just 'good stuff'," added Saurial from where she was sitting at a conference table on her tail. Raptaur, Ianthe and Dragon all already had places as well, and there were seven empty seats sized for humans at the table.

"Electron-degenerate matter? How on Earth do you keep it stable, and light enough not to sink into the ground? Do you have some kind of gravity field around it?" asked Miles.

"Something similar to that," said Raptaur. "It's based on principles closer to Harry's magic than pure science, however. You needn't worry, though, because the effect that lowers its apparent density and stabilizes it is permanent."

"What's so special about this stuff?" asked Xander.

Miles replied with a touch of awe, "Well, normally you only find it inside a white dwarf star or a neutron star. These walls are stronger than our starship's hull. A phaser wouldn't even scratch it. Hell, I'm not sure a quantum torpedo would pierce the skin of this office."

"It wouldn't, but the radiation and heat would be uncomfortable for any humans inside," said Raptaur. Miles noticed Raptaur didn't say it would bother the lizards.

"Would any of you like anything to drink?" asked Saurial. Everybody declined, as they had all just eaten a short time ago and there was a pitcher of water already on the table with glasses. Once everybody had settled, she continued, "We've discussed what we learned yesterday, and I believe we can help you. In fact, we want to make you an offer, with one of the key stipulations being that we agree to return each of you to your home universes no later than seven days after your departure."

"Can they do that?" asked Miles, looking to Daniel. He had been getting a checkup while Daniel spoke to Saurial in the engine room, and they had already spent longer than that away from home.

Daniel nodded. "I believe they can. They have a much deeper understanding of multi-dimensional mathematics than we do -- likely on par with the Ancients from my universe."

"Isn't time travel really hard, though?" asked Jimmy. He knew people did it in his universe, but they were usually eccentric geniuses with hidden agendas.

"Once the math gets complex enough, it isn't especially," answered Saurial.

"It is not to be used lightly, however, as the nature of the universe is directly tied into our perception of it, and vice versa, and paradox can have...unpleasant...consequences." said Raptaur seriously.

"A guy I met once said it also makes plot-lines hard to follow...but he's kind of crazy," added Peter. Wade had a unique way of looking at the world, but he had been reminded that some of his rambling was a little too on point with their current situation.

"Metis, why don't you walk them through the details of our offer," asked Saurial, nodding toward the black lizard.

The lizard in question nodded back and began to speak. "BBFO offers each of you short-term employment contracts, with a charter contract for the Ship of Fools." Some of the audience began to look alarmed, so she quickly followed up with, "One piece of your compensation will be the aforementioned guarantee of return to your home universe, someplace safe for you personally, no later than one week after your departure. The time gap is to allow for unusual circumstances related to safety, location, etc. Your term of employment is not to exceed six months, and we actually expect it to be significantly less than that."

Ellen, who was used to negotiating employment contracts, said, "You said, 'one piece,' of our compensation. What else are you offering?" Other than warning the Earth about the xenomorph threat...she didn't really have much reason to go back to her universe.

"Additional compensation will include two plants capable of producing one-use healing symbiotes to take back with you to your universe, BBFO-standard health care for you and your immediate family for life, living expenses for the reality of current occupancy, and five hundred kilograms of any substance upon separation," lectured Metis.

Xander raised his hand. "So, we get a way to produce those little squeakers that heal everything...and healthcare for life? How is that going to work once we're back home?"

"We will provide you with a way to contact the Family in an emergency, as well as ensuring you and your loved ones' perfect health upon return to your universe," explained Saurial.

"Wait, we're going to have, like, a signal beacon built into a wrist watch to summon the family?" asked Jimmy. He used to have a watch like that for Superman back when he was a cub reporter.

Dragon, who had been quiet until now, said, "I'm going to produce BBFO smart phones that will be capable of reaching the Family from anywhere. I've already spoken to Leet about it. He's a local cape who can make anything."

"Anything?" asked Peter.

"His limitation," explained Metis, "is that he can only make one of anything, and he fails if he tries to make something too similar to something he's made previously."

"But that doesn't make sense," said Miles with a degree of exasperation. "If he follows the same steps as he did the first time, he should get the same result. That's a primary foundation of science and engineering!"

"Tinkers in our universe have limiters built into their powers, "explained Dragon. "Think of it this way...Tinkers have a mental link to a database of technology far in advance of current worldwide tech, usually with a focus on a set of related subject areas. That link also affects their behavior, though. It creates a need to build things, and it can put constraints on what they can build. Leet's constraints tended to result in flaws that would destroy the device he was building if it violated them...sometimes rather explosively. His power created a blind-spot in his perception to those flaws until it was too late."

"You're a tinker too, aren't you?" asked Peter. He had thought that it was similar to folks like Reed Richards, but apparently there was more to it.

"Dragon's famous for being able to reverse engineer the work of other tinkers and turn it into things anybody can build and maintain," said Taylor, who was familiar with the reputation of Dragon from her own reality. "Normally, tinker tech can only be built and maintained by tinkers."

Daniel spoke up. "It almost sounds like somebody wanted to give you access to advanced technology without actually uplifting your society."

"We have had that same thought, as well, although we don't understand the reasons for it," agreed Raptaur.

"We're getting a little off topic, here," interrupted Ripley. "When you say five hundred kilograms of any substance, what kind of substances are you talking about?"

"Pretty much any substance, as long as I have or have had access to a small sample of it. One of the powers of my branch of the Family is matter creation," explained Saurial. "We can sample pretty much any element, alloy, chemical compound...and recreate it at will. All of the EDM you see here in these offices was created that way."

"What you're saying," said Daniel, "is that if I wanted half-a-ton of weapons-grade Naquadah, you could produce it as long as you had a small sample?"

"Easily," replied Raptaur. "We can also reproduce any device we can understand, although in some cases it is easier to build the components. We could, for example, provide Harry with basic technology that was immune to his magic, in addition to the phone Dragon already mentioned."

"What if we wanted information instead of a big hunk of gold or platinum?" asked Harry. If his life was a work of fiction here, then they might know some very important facts that he needed to know. They might even know how to avoid having to serve as Mab's errand boy.

"As contracted staff of BBFO, you will automatically have access to any knowledge we have about your home universe. That's included as part of the job description, as we expect part of your role to be validation of what we think we know, and clarification of things that may be common knowledge in your world, but not ours," said Metis.

"What else would be expected of us?" asked Xander. Signing contracts with non-humans was one of the things Giles had warned them to avoid on multiple occasions.

"Apart from validating information, you would be expected to assist as necessary in the refit of the Ship of Fools and provide crew while we try and fix some things in your respective universes," said Metis.

"What things are you trying to fix?" continued Xander. "Like, there are some things, like that whole, 'humans aren't enslaved by demons,' thing, that I don't want to see fixed."

Ianthe scoffed. "Why would we want to enslave humans? You're far too entertaining when left to your own purposes, and we already have the ability to create anything we want or need."

"Plus, the locals tend to get cranky when you start throwing around things like, 'slavery,' or, 'income tax,'" said Saurial with a smug smirk.

"Do we have to pay taxes on what we earn?" asked Jimmy, having an odd thought.

"We'll take care of the local paperwork, but you'll have to resolve any issues in your home dimension," said Metis, smiling. "We aren't planning on reporting your income in your home reality, though."

Ripley frowned. "Do you have standard paperwork for cross-dimensional employment?"

Dragon answered, "Superpowers and tinker tech mean you end up with a lot of paperwork targeted at exceptional circumstances."

"I found out that my government actually has standard paperwork for transferring U.S. citizenship from a United States on an Earth in an alternate dimension," said Peter. "I would guess Jimmy's world probably has something similar." The redhead just nodded. Jimmy didn't know the specifics, but there were enough space aliens, time travelers and dimension jumpers wandering around to merit having standard procedures for all sorts of odd cases.

Miles wanted to go back to something else that had been mentioned in passing. "You said you were going to refit the Ship of Fools? What did you intend to do with it?"

Saurial replied, "Let's wait until Linda, Kevin and Randall get here to go over all of the details, but we have a number of ideas that we think you'll all appreciate. We also have an option for you where, since you come from a society with replicator technology, we would be willing to turn the ship over to you and Starfleet R&D rather than provide you with rare materials once we're done getting everybody home." Not everything was easy to replicate, but the wormhole drive by itself would be a boon to Federation science.

"My world could use some of that technology. We're still dealing with the Goa'uld. We've been lucky so far, but if we were explicitly targeted by somebody like Anubis, then we wouldn't stand much of a chance," asked Daniel. Toward the end, his voice became slightly pleading.

"Some of the information we have access to includes the location of an Ancient weapons platform on Earth, as well as the location of the Ancient city of Atlantis," said Raptaur. Taylor and Varga had watched all ten seasons of Stargate: SG-1 shortly after they had built their own wormhole facility.

"Atlantis is real?" asked Daniel, amazed. His inclination to sign the contract offered had just increased exponentially.

Before Daniel could start asking what would likely be an unending litany of questions, Xander interjected, "What happens if we don't sign the contract? Specifically, how do we get home?" Xander wasn't stupid. He could see the value of the squeakers to the Slayers and their support, and a huge chunk of precious metals would provide a welcome injection of funds. Contracts were dangerous, though, and he wasn't convinced that this wouldn't turn out to be a Monkey's Paw scenario.

Saurial looked at Xander, and her face became serious. "We'll still help you get home, Xander. We already discussed this among ourselves, and helping you is the right thing to do. Metis and I came up with the employment contracts simply as a way of making things easier for everybody. It gets everybody's expectations out in the open, provides a legal way to satisfy people in authority, and soothes any egos that might object to taking charity."

"Are the contracts going to be mystically enforced?" asked Harry.

"We had not intended to do so, but we're willing to negotiate a mutually binding enchantment if you so desire," said Raptaur. "Such is well within our abilities."

"This sounds a little too good to be true," said Jimmy Olsen. "I mean, do you actually have the technology and ability to do everything you're promising?"

"We've prepared some demonstrations of everything," said Ianthe. "You all saw the BBFO office as you got here, yes?"

There were general nods and acknowledgements from everybody.

"Good," said Saurial. "Let's go into the next room."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The reveal of the gigantic open space through the door was a shock to everybody, and actually resulted in a bit of a pile-up at the entry as each new person would notice the impossibly vast space and stop, blocking the person behind them. The general reaction was summed up by Xander's response. "Your office is a TARDIS."

"It doesn't travel through time and space..." said Saurial.

"Yet," interjected Metis sotto voice.

"...but it IS bigger on the inside," Saurial finished, holding her arms out wide.

What followed was a demonstration...or possibly a DEMONstration, of matter-creation abilities. Once O'Brien was satisfied that they weren't actually in a holodeck, he used his tricorder to confirm the materials that Saurial and Raptaur created. Starting with large blocks of platinum and gold, they moved on to substances they had sampled surreptitiously on the ship such as transparent aluminum and tritanium. The "taking requests" phase was amusing, and the inside of the room was soon littered with a bronze statue of SpongeBob Squarepants (not everybody understood the reference), a twenty-foot-long above-ground pool filled with hummus, a flywheel storage device capable of powering a warp engine, a shipping container filled with Twinkies, a small bag that looked to be about 10 cm deep, but which Peter could fit his whole arm into up to the shoulder, a takeout order from Fugley Bob's, a three kilogram block of room-temperature semiconductor that neither Ellen nor Miles recognized, a sealed container of hydroflouric acid, a chunk of unprocessed bauxite, and a creepy monkey cymbal toy with glowing eyes that had Xander moving away until Saurial made it vanish.

Ianthe then demonstrated her healing symbiote plants, and explained their care and the limitations built into them. Xander offered to cut his palm with an organic knife provided by Ianthe so that the others could watch it heal after the application of one of the squeakers, as Xander insisted on calling them.

Raptaur then offered to take them flying around the room on a platform that was powered by water jets. Peter and Miles offered to go first, the former because he was used to great heights and the latter because he was fascinated by the concept of water being spontaneously created so that it was already under high pressure. Raptaur studiously avoided anything mirroring Saurial's test flight, avoiding harm to either the room or the passengers. Everybody eventually opted to give it a go.

The final examples of more explicit technological capability came when Metis demonstrated some inventions created by engineers at the DWU. The pokeball containing a functional mech was a big hit, as was the functional Tron lightcycle. Miles thought that concept was brilliant, and wondered why Starfleet had come up with holographic officers but not holographic emergency shelters or escape pods. The lizards then played a variety of classical music on a version of Leet's sound system that Dragon was still reverse-engineering for mass production. Interestingly, every single one of the dimensional expatriates recognized works by composers like Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Chopin, implying at least some parallel history. More modern musical styles were clearly divergent, although again, there were some commonly known artists like the Beatles. Miles didn't recognize them directly, but the melodies and lyrics were familiar enough to him that it was likely that they existed in the distant past of his universe.

By the end of the demonstrations, the entire crew found that they had enjoyed themselves. Furthermore, they were fully convinced that a) the Family could do whatever they said they could do, b) their demeanor and actions thus far were nothing but friendly and helpful with a thin layer of smugness, c) the healing symbiotes alone would be a huge boon to their home realities, and d) the Family could also do whatever they wanted to do, and it was rather unlikely they would need their help even if they had nefarious purposes. Raptaur had made it clear that creating a critical mass of weapons-grade plutonium was just as easy as making a simple hand tool, and all of the travelers understood the ramifications of that.

The groups broke up to separate tables scattered across the room to discuss the specifics of individual contracts. Metis took Xander and Harry. Raptaur and Dragon went with Miles, Ellen and Daniel. Ianthe grabbed Peter and Jimmy. Taylor asked if she could talk to her father about the contracts, and Saurial left with her to do so.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The reptile and the girl walked through the buildings on the DWU campus, heading for Danny Hebert's office.

"Before I forget," said Taylor, "I ran into Glory Girl on the way here. She told me to tell Amy to give her a call, and to say hi to you and dad. You guys are really friends in this world, aren't you?"

"Vicky has a very exuberant personality. Our first meeting was interesting," said Saurial. "She had just had a fight with Dean, as usual, and she called me an overgrown newt."

"A newt?" asked Taylor, incredulous.

"I got better," said Saurial with a terrible English accent.

Taylor gave her a slight glare. "Stop that. In my world, GG hates the Undersiders for putting her sister at risk when we took her hostage during a bank robbery."

"She is protective of her sister. She was pretty outrageous when we first met, too, but she did apologize to me...admittedly after fretting about it and realizing that I had video of her acting like a total witch, something that was a huge concern to Brandish and the others in New Wave because of the PR issues," said Saurial. "She's also calmed down a bit. She doesn't really like being called Collateral Damage Barbie."

Taylor snorted a laugh. "That's actually pretty funny."

"It is, but I sympathize with her." Saurial then shared a little of her experience with flying the first time, including going with a literal hat-in-hand to beg forgiveness.

Taylor laughed at that, but then she grew thoughtful. "You're an absolute menace, but you seem to be having a lot more fun with your powers than I have."

"A lot of that is Varga, honestly," replied Saurial. "He has been an amazing friend and support. It was terrifying when I got powers for the first time, knowing how vulnerable dad was, and not having any way to protect him except secrecy. Of course, I originally thought having a tail would make that difficult."

"But you can turn back into your human form?" said Taylor, confused.

Saurial changed back to her default human form and dropped the portion of the Assassin's Cloak that kept the other Taylor from seeing her tail. She kept up the portion that allowed the two of them to walk unnoticed through the DWU campus. "This is my default appearance, and how I looked right after the locker."

Taylor stopped walking forward, staring at the Taylor of this universe. "You have a lizard tail," she said simply.

"Yes, I do, and it's quite useful." The Taylor with a tail proceeded to sit down on it.

"You have an actual tail, growing out of your backside...and it is a lizard tail," said Taylor slowly.

"I do. I could ask Amy to give you one. I expect they'll become quite popular eventually," said local Taylor. She figured Lucy would definitely want one, and Lisa would probably come around eventually.

"I don't want a tail...and besides, I have bug powers, not lizard powers," said Taylor, unsure if her local version was joking or not.

The local copy transformed back into Saurial. "Well, we could give you an insect tail...maybe something with a stinger? Ooh, or maybe spinnerets so you could shoot webs like Pete?"

"That would make having a secret identity kind of hard, and I don't really want to shoot webs out of my butt," said Taylor with an exasperated tone.

"True," said Saurial as she started walking again. "Well, think about it. You can always change your mind."

"So, it's true that Ianthe and Metis are actually...?" questioned Taylor.

"Amy and Lisa...Panacea and Tattletale, by cape name," answered Saurial. "They're also my best friends, apart from dad and Varga."

"Lisa was my best friend on my world too, at least until what happened... I'm not so sure any more," said Taylor sadly.

"Knowing my Lisa, she probably does consider you a good friend...and she has her own reasons to help somebody as obviously troubled as you are, Taylor," explained Saurial. "She never wanted to work for Coil. He forced her into it at gunpoint, and that's part of the reason we helped take him down in this reality."

"So you know about all of that?" said Taylor. "You know about how he kidnapped Dinah Alcott?"

"We managed to stop him from doing that," explained Saurial. "Dinah's a Ward now in our world."

"With Shadow Stalker?" said Taylor, wondering what happened to her nemesis. In her world, Sophia Hess had outed herself accidentally during an incident in a shopping mall. The revelation had made Taylor even less trusting of the Protectorate, while the kidnapping had alienated her from the Undersiders, leaving her alone and without support from either the heroes or the villains. Then Leviathan had shown up.

Saurial shook her head. "No, Shadow Stalker had all of her extracurricular activities exposed. Dad actually rigged me with a camera, and got evidence of it all. She was under house arrest, but she escaped during the take-down of Coil and is on the run. I guarantee you that she will get a very unpleasant welcome if she chooses to come back, especially if she threatens any of our friends and family." Saurial was showing teeth again, and not in a friendly way.

Taylor shivered a bit at the cold and predatory tone coming from Saurial. She asked a question that had occurred to her before. "Can you tell me something honestly? How much of you is still Taylor, versus Varga?"

Saurial considered her for a moment. "I'm still Taylor Hebert at heart, Taylor. Merging with Varga gave me a ridiculously comprehensive set of powers, though. Enough to give even me confidence...confidence to assert my Hebert protectiveness. Tell me you wouldn't do anything to protect your friends from harm?"

Taylor knew that before things fell apart, she would have gone out of her way to protect her team and her dad. Even now, she considered Lisa part of the group, and maybe even Brian.

"Another thing you have to remember is that Varga is ancient. He has memories crossing thousands of years. He's protected me from being overwhelmed by them, but I am learning. My body is different now. I'm literally stronger and smarter than I was, and I have access to knowledge that you wouldn't believe. I have changed greatly from the person I was just a short time ago," said Saurial thoughtfully. "As a consequence of that, we've taken down Coil and the Merchants, put the E88 and the ABB on notice, unblocked the bay, and improved dad's health and our relationship with him dramatically. I've got good friends, I'm attending school at Arcadia, and Brockton Bay is starting to become a nice place to live again."

"I saw Rachel with her dogs at the DWU. Since Lisa's there too, I assume you're sheltering the Undersiders?" asked Taylor.

"I rescued them from Lung, and we cut a deal with the Protectorate to keep them on site until all of the legal issues were resolved," explained Saurial. "They're part of the DWU."

"Along with Über and Leet?" said Taylor with a knowing grin.

Saurial chuckled. "Noticed that, did you? Randall at least has a very distinctive voice. They're also good guys. Dragon's helping Leet market some of his tech. Those tricorders are just part of it."

Taylor grew introspective. As they came up to the building with Danny's office, she said out loud, "Your universe is like the good version of mine. Everything you touch seems to go in your favor. But me...I tried to be hero. I tried to help my friends. I tried to keep dad safe. Everything just turns to shit, though. It's like my universe has it out for me. With my luck, even if the city survives Leviathan, we'll probably get visited by the Slaughterhouse Nine or something..."

"Huh, so they're still alive in your universe?" mused Saurial. "Regardless, you've forgotten something very important."

"What?" asked Taylor slightly sullenly.

"You're here now, with us, and we take care of our Family," said Saurial with an enviable degree of certainty. With that, the two went into the office to find Danny.
 
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Bad Stuff that Happened to the SoF Crew in Canon
Crap that happened to the SoF crew off the top of my head:

Harry Dresden: Susan's whole story arc, being mind-whammied into a romantic relationship after Dead Beat, the whole Sword of Damocles from the Council, being forced into accepting the position of Winter Knight, having to piss off all of Summer by killing one of the three queens of Summer, having one student killed (in part because he didn't know why she wanted dangerous knowledge and refused to give it to her), having his apartment, car and office destroyed, getting stuck with Lash to save one of Michael's kids, general physical mauling over and over again...I'm just scratching the surface.

Xander Harris: We covered this earlier in the thread, but every romantic interest has gone horribly wrong, his eye got ripped out in the most brutal way possible, his home life was awful...check earlier in the thread for a list of specific incidents.

Miles O'Brien: How to torture O'Brien was literally a running gag in the writer's room of DS9. This guy's had his wife possessed, him possessed, his child sent back through a time rift, his wife's pregnancy at risk (and only saved because Kira agreed to be a surrogate), was captured by Cardassians and had his freaking molars ripped out of his head, had a 20 year prison sentence implanted into his head due to a flimsy espionage charge, got caught in a time loop that had him see his own corpse, got replaced by a replicant...and who knows how many horrific combat situations he's had, given that he's considered a veteran and an expert in the field.

Daniel Jackson: His wife's whole story arc, dying of radiation poisoning, being captured and tortured repeatedly, being forced to repeatedly rewatch his parents death, being thought insane thanks to ridiculous arbitrary skepticism, being ridiculed by his entire field, then learning HE WAS RIGHT, but he can't say anything about it...there's a lot more than what I list here.

Peter Parker: Almost everybody in his entire freaking life has either died, turned villain, turned out to be clone, or broken his heart. His own boss has an irrational hatred of his alter-ego. Some of the stuff that has happened to him in the comics -- the whole clone arc, the stuff with Mephisto, what happened when he supported Stark during Civil War. Yeah.

Ellen Ripley: How she's not catatonic in a padded room somewhere is beyond me. Not only has she lost her daughter AND her surrogate daughter, but literally every experience since the Nostromo is a freaking horror movie plot.

Jimmy Olsen: The clincher for me was his death in the Snyder-verse films, but if you check out Superdickery, you can see the bullshit he's been through. In one comic, Superman literally became his abusive adoptive father, with only the flimsiest rationale for acting that way. His love interest at one point was Lucy Lane, Lois's sister, who not only lacks Lois's pleasant demeanor (seriously), but also seems to be into S&M. HE TURNED INTO A GIANT TURTLE BOY. He went back in time and TEAMED UP WITH ADOLF HITLER. Seriously, I can't make this shit up.

Taylor Hebert: Worm.
 
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