And here is the sequel that I have been obligated to produce. I hope that I will not have my contract renewed for a Season 3, but let's be real, it probably will at some point in the future.
...But Who'd Believe That? 2: Hibiscus Boogaloo
The real conspiracy is why we got a sequel in the first place!
You are Michiko Katou. It is three in the morning. Whoever has chosen to call you despite this fact will be learning of the wonderful exfoliation benefits of bathing in goldnine through a live demonstration.
You lazily grab onto your screen charging at your bedside and check the caller ID, but to be honest, you kinda didn't need to. Your mom knows that you're asleep at this hour given the time difference, which leaves exactly one suspect.
"Kimi." You respond with practically negative effort.
"I FUCKING TOLD YOU!" The screaming on the other side of the screen snaps you awake just a little bit more.
"...Kimi. Do you know how early it is?"
Your response is a message being sent to you of that one clip everyone's been sharing the past few days of the "Dropkick Girl". You are decidedly unamused.
"This is it? This is just the same clip that everybody's been looking at the past few days in all of its' shaking, mid-quality glory. So what, dare I ask, is the conspiracy being hidden here?"
"Look! Look right behind the girl as she's hitting the host!"
You try your absolute hardest to make anything out from this that isn't characters so smeared by the footage shaking that they're halfway to being unrecognizable. Then again, it's not as if you
would recognize anybody here even if the footage was in 16K.
"Don't you see who's right there?!"
"All I'm seeing is somebody with a terrible fake tan. Looks like the kind of douchebag that would be put on this kinda show-"
"
That's fucking Mammoth Ibis!"
...What.
"Okay, so the conspiracy this time around is that Mammoth Ibis faked his death. Glad to know we're on the same page now, so first off... how did you jump to this conclusion?"
"Just look at him! He didn't even try to change his hair color or his face!"
You look back at the video, still trying to make things out without your lights on. "I'm a little concerned how you managed to grab his face from this."
"And look! Look! Right at the end, do you know who that is?!"
Again, it is goddamn hard to make anything out about this, but it looks vaguely like...
"Alright. If this is actually his daughter, because I still can't see shit, then what? Are you legitimately saying that this failed TV show made by a
dating app is what brought down the entire conspiracy-"
"Why else would they have cancelled it?! Why do you think they got rid of all the footage?! Why do you think-"
You forcibly end the call and throw yourself back onto your mattress, staring at your screen. Shit, that girl kinda does look like Dr. Massive Ibis... is Kimi, Leviathan forbid, right on something for once?
For the sake of your sanity, you'd hope not. You'd be hearing about it until the end of time from her, and you aren't sure how many more insane things like "Dogs can't look up!" you can stand to bear.
...Wait. Up... Dog...
In a moment, you shoot right up from your mattress again.
"WAS SHE ACTUALLY-"