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It's not wrong to make Friends in the Dungeon (Danmachi / Sanctioned [Worm])

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QA is absolutely adorable I can't help but laugh at the QA's and Welf's conversation
 
Kai Merah said:
Her skill with knives will just make her look more like a potential serial killer, won't it?
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I fairly certain that QA is in fact already an extremely parallel serial killer. She has been a shard for a long time. Her kill count is likely so large that it doesn't seem like a real number to us. Maybe something that requires scientific notation.
 
fictionfan said:
I fairly certain that QA is in fact already an extremely parallel serial killer. She has been a shard for a long time. Her kill count is likely so large that it doesn't seem like a real number to us. Maybe something that requires scientific notation.
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Shards (usually) don't kill people. Hosts, Terror Drones, and :FATHER: use shards to kill people. That's their story and they're sticking to it.

EDIT: Or, if you go even more abstract, the conclusion of each Cycle kills people.
 
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Alivaril said:
Orario's Industrial District was rapidly proving to be Queen Administrator's least favorite place in the entire city. Muffled clashes of metal, the roaring of flame, the fine layer of ash atop everything above street level — all of it reminded Queen Administrator of ongoing combat. If she were in full control of herself, she could simply add an archival note to negate the association and move along. That was not an option. She couldn't even remove the uneasiness with the knowledge of her first Friend incubating at home.
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But Queen, you like combat!

(sarcasm maybe)
 
Alivaril said:
Syndey slowed to a stop and gestured to the door of a nearby stone structure. The thick black smoke billowing up and out of its chimney confirmed that Welf Crozzo was either present and forging or absent and enabling arson.

"That's his workshop. Don't let what I said stop you; he's a good kid if you can ignore his hypocrisies. Good luck and stay safe, kid."

"The same to you," QA said carefully.
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What a shockingly informative and reasonably person.

Alivaril said:
"It's more common among adventurers to bring people meals when you're first expressing interest, not to bring them to meals. Bringing lunch for one person out of a party and excluding everyone else is practically as good as a confession."
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Snrk. Fucking RIP. Let's all pour one out for Syr, yeah?
 
Alivaril said:
if Escalation had played with more ideas before settling on his Concept, then perhaps he wouldn't have grown into such an unbelievably huge moron.
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Almost choked on a drink laughing.

Alivaril said:
"That just means nobody is prepared for it," Queen Administrator rebuked, then stopped to reconsider.

Actually, that sounds exploitable.
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This is so Taylor it's adorable that QA is thinking it.

The part with Hestia being surprised by their ability to design and create creatures from scratch was actually pretty interesting in a serious way. I wonder if other gods might've realized the god-like implications if they knew.

Read through the entire thing, can't wait for more!
 
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Chapter 11: Little Not-Lies
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    • Special thanks to @saganatsu, @DB_Explorer, and my eight other patrons not mentioned here. An extremely enthusiastic pair of "Thank you"s to @Torgamous and @fictionfan for their patronage as well.

    Author's Note: Any differences in appearance between normal panthers and QA/Taylor's new Friends are probably deliberate.


    Welf gave up on convincing Queen Administrator to gamble before she would be wholly convinced to view him as a scammer. The rest of their training session proved to be just as Welf warned and Queen Administrator expected: dulled training blades did hurt, and enemy action interfered with her ability to accurately strike foes or parry attacks. Welf claimed that monsters tended to have recurring attack patterns, which may help; however, he couldn't describe them any better than her Advisor already had.

    "You're actually doing way better than practically every other rookie I've ever seen. You used a sword before?"

    Not under that name, and not personally.

    "Some," QA said vaguely. "However, a significant portion of what I learned consisted of deliberate misinformation."

    Because ruining my simulations with imaginary physical laws was clearly so funny. Jerks.

    Welf's sword unsteadily wavered through his ongoing block. Queen Administrator took the opportunity to thrust past his guard and deliver what would be a killing blow in live combat. The only sign that Welf noticed was the lowering of his sword; the rest of his attention was still fixed firmly on Queen Administrator Host.

    "Who the hells would—" Welf stopped himself and shook his head. "Sorry. None of my business, I know."

    "My siblings and cousins," Queen Administrator answered anyway. It wasn't restricted information. "I believe they thought it was funny."

    "Gods. No wonder you left home," Welf muttered, shaking his head. "Right, let's see if we can finish undoing whatever damage they did."




    After hours of incident-free training, Queen Administrator thought Welf Crozzo had decided against his irresponsible gambling plans. She hadn't realized he instead planned on appealing to a higher authority. At least pseudo-host Hestia seemed to know the value of a united front, the dangers of gambling, or both. Queen Administrator wasn't present for half the lecture, but the portion she arrived to was satisfying enough in isolation.

    "Again, Ad—Um, Taylor was right," Hestia insisted. "What you're discussing is close to a scam and would make her plenty of enemies. It's one thing if someone challenges her to a game, but seeking it out? It's not worth it. You're demanding she upset people far stronger than herself just for a few valis."

    Welf nodded submissively, his gaze fixed to the floor. Queen Administrator was impressed; Hestia had only been lecturing him for approximately two minutes and he was far larger than her. Queen Administrator would need to ask how to intimidate larger individuals in such a manner.

    "I apologize, Lady Hestia. I let greed get the better of me without a thought for the consequences."

    "You did," Hestia agreed. "And if you'd pressured her into participating without asking me first, you would've gotten your Familia in far more trouble than Anzo already did. People remember poisoned gifts, deliberate or not. It would be made worse by the fact that a single Magic Sword would have made you far more money. I know you've sworn off making them for now, but the rest of the city wouldn't care about that. So please, think before you do something unusual. It might be unusual for a reason. If Hephaestus is too busy for you to ask her for advice, try your captain or Guild advisor. They should be able to kill any bad ideas."

    "Yes, Lady Hestia. May I go now?"

    "You may."

    Welf nodded and trudged out of the church, occasionally glancing back at you as he went. Hestia stood tall and proud until the blacksmith was out of sight and the door shut behind him. Hestia slumped scant seconds later, buried her face in both hands, and dissolved into strange laughter. She seemed to be mumbling something as well, but even Queen Administrator's translation power was incapable of deciphering it. Either way, QA didn't like the way Hestia was acting. It didn't seem healthy.

    "My new Friend should be finishing or finished by now," Queen Administrator tried. "He will be very fuzzy and soft. Would that help how you feel?"

    Hestia's laughter seemingly interrupted itself with purer amusement and hiccups both.

    "I'd love to," Hestia managed.





    Queen Administrator examined the fresh feline Friend happily headbutting her chest. As expected, Host's new Friend recognized her even though she'd arrived just after his completion. He seemed to be in perfectly good health; his fur's stubby softness disguised its nature as supplementary armor, his ink-black coloration indicated it was prepared to absorb energy from sunlight, his teeth were in their proper positions, his yellow and black eyes tracked her movements without issue, his whiskers twitched in response to nearby movement...

    He was also over twice as large as he should be — the size of a lion, Host's memories suggested — and had a comparable increase in mass. He could barely navigate around their furniture and seemed in danger of knocking it over. Queen Administrator was honestly a little baffled by the outcome. Had Host vastly underestimated the amount of energy the Monster Cores held? Her Friends were supposed to grow to this size eventually, but that would be after ingesting multiple large Monster Cores. This was beyond premature.

    <REASSURANCE.>

    Oh, okay. Apparently something Status-related was responsible. Host's message was too incomprehensible for Queen Administrator to discern more than that. She supposed she didn't need to consciously know more anyway; all the information would be in her archives when she retook control.

    "You're a good, loyal little kitty, aren't you?" Queen Administrator happily cooed. "You recognize your mommy, don't you? Of course you do! We were very careful about that."

    When she'd first started occupying Host, Queen Administrator was determined to only utilize improper language in internal communications. Interactions with other humans soon proved that she didn't need to try so hard; apparently, they prized near-incomprehensible expressions of affection.

    Hestia hiccuped behind her.

    "Um, Administrator? Is... Is it supposed to be that large?" Hestia asked quietly. "I thought they were smaller than that."

    "Taylor says our Status dramatically enhanced the efficiency of available resources," QA replied dismissively. "We won't underestimate our capabilities next time. Friend, by the powers invested in me as Queen, I hereby dub thee Sir Kara the First."

    Hestia giggled behind her, rapidly recovering from the tainted laughter of several minutes prior.

    "That seems like a terrible misuse of royal powers."

    "It is the best use of royal powers," Queen Administrator cheerfully disagreed. "At present, it is otherwise an empty title. None here would understand or respect it."

    Hestia inhaled sharply. Queen Administrator didn't care enough to ask about the meaning of such an action right then.

    "Can you still not tell me why you're called that?" Hestia asked softly.

    The creation and unanticipated improvement to her first Friend had left Queen Administrator feeling magnanimous. She wouldn't disclose any restricted information, but Hestia was responsible enough to keep the rest quiet.

    "It is an honorary title to indicate excellence in our chosen field of study and adequacy in related fields. We were identified as useful and are allowed to continue learning long after less innovative individuals would be recalled and utilized sparsely."

    "And your field was administration," Hestia guessed.

    "Is Administration," Queen Administrator rebuked harshly, then stopped. That reaction seemed disproportionate for a single mistake born from mere ignorance. "I apologize; that was unnecessarily cruel and rather irrational. Still, the fact that Taylor is usurping my role does not change my title or Concept."

    Hestia's voice shifted toward unhappy concern.

    "Don't you think 'usurping' is a strong word?"

    Queen Administrator shook her head.

    "I believe you misunderstand. I am proud of what she is doing; she is managing in months what most take years to learn. She will choose her own Concept in time and I will regain all that was taken. Currently, she is calling herself 'Dreamer,' but I find it likely she will switch to something else given time. It is too narrow a field to achieve Monarchy within a reasonable time-frame."

    Hestia's features relaxed and transitioned to the significantly more neutral and familiar emotion of uncertainty.

    "Mmmmn. I'm still confused. I think I get the general idea, though. So if Administration is your chosen field of study, what sorts of things did you learn?"

    Everything I could.

    "Biology," Queen Administrator replied carefully. Hestia asked for one or more examples, not an all-inclusive list. "I was not born knowing how to make Friends."

    Hestia blinked and tilted her head to one side.

    "I don't see the connection. I was expecting something like land management and governmental work."

    Queen Administrator took a deep breath and launched into the first explanation that occurred to her.

    "Most animals are gargantuan collections of symbiotic organisms working together to form a cohesive being. That being's consciousness chooses the direction the entire system will take. I learned to control which microorganisms formed and in what layouts, and now I can make Friends, eternally loyal beings which obey my every command. What is that if not Administration?"

    Hestia blinked multiple times in quick succession. Archival note: Blinking can also be used to signal something.

    "Okay, I can see why they'd grant you that title. I honestly can't tell if I should be worried or not, though," Hestia admitted. "What you're talking about sounds a lot like the domains of the gods, only with a more scholarly bent. What other kinds of 'Concepts' are there?"

    "I can't tell you that," Queen Administrator said quickly. "Sharing secrets would get me recalled early. Suffice to say our relatives are on the other side of the planet," plus several universes to the side, "And we're not required to return until our body is soon to fail of old age."

    Or for some time after that. After all, this Cycle only just started.

    "Why Orario, then? It sounds like you could've gone anywhere."

    "Taylor is the only one of us three who knows the answer to that question," Queen Administrator admitted. "Regardless, I do not currently have access to most of my methods of gathering data—"

    "The Sight," Hestia murmured.

    Not the kind you're thinking of, I believe.

    "—So I will aid Taylor in gathering data on her chosen subject of study just as she would help me if our positions were switched. If nothing else, we have been provided plenty of excellent emotional support."

    It took Hestia a moment to realize Queen Administrator was complimenting her. The alleged goddess soon flushed and smiled widely.

    "I'm happy to help! I do have one last question, though. Do the rest of your people share their bodies with another person?"

    Queen Administrator shook Host's head.

    "No. What we are is unprecedented."

    "And I take it you achieved 'Monarchy' faster than practically everyone else?"

    Most shards never achieved it at all, meaning she did manage it comparatively early.

    "That was two questions, but yes."

    "Okay! Thank you very much for telling me all this, Administrator. It makes me feel a lot better knowing you come from somewhere so isolated and exotic. It... explains some things."

    "Of course." Potential emotional crisis averted, Queen Administrator returned her attention to the happily purring Friend before her. "And you have such darling little paw-paws—"

    "They're the size of your head!"

    "—And fuzzy-wuzzy wittle ears…"

    ~ ~ ~​

    The dreamer hummed happily as she danced and spun through her favorite meadow. She'd been a little worried her guest-self would notice how the 'Falna's effects' were inconsistent in all the places where the future designs would place magic rocks, but she seemed oblivious. The nameless girl had been able to sneak in enough stolen spare magic rocks to ensure their new Friends required very little rest or external energy input, were the closest thing to unkillable, and were large enough to comfortably ride on. She'd needed to work hard to ensure their other combat abilities weren't proportionately boosted — if she hadn't, watchers would've seen little more than black blurs and an alarming number of falling bodies — and the overall result was definitely some of her best and most discreet work. She should know; she'd gone through a lot of non-sentient prototypes along the way.

    It was just as well that their new Friends wouldn't need to use a litterbox. The resulting excrement would likely be solid crystal at this point.

    Surprise! The magic was really inside them all along!
     
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