Fate/Clusterfuck (Fate/Stay Night)

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So, this day became another Clusterfuck for Shirou. Good(?) for him.
Erien said:
"The latest one is that Fujimura Sensei has claimed you as a husband."
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Nah, Shirou would be the Taiga's doting wife, with room for their roles to change.
Erien said:
Beside you, Ayako giggled, and the whispers only grew in intensity. Sakura, for her part, was looking rather upset
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Shirou, when you are done fighting against impossible odds in suicidal manners, take your time to talk with Sakura. You have been together for years now, giving her joy when she had none when you meet her. You are practically a married couple, and you're already on-route to change from your existential-loneliness known as EMIYA.
Erien said:
A giggle gets your attention, and both you and Taiga look to see Sakura covering her mouth, a blush on her face. Her eyes flit between the two of you, then she looks down at the limousine floor. "Um, sorry."
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THIS. This is a proof that Shirou, Sakura and Taiga have the bases for a wholesome and beautiful relationship. If anything else fails or doesn't work out. I hope those three get to be together-together when everything is said and done.
Erien said:
You heard the explosions the same moment that Medea grabbed you by the arm and yanked you to the side. The night illuminated a split second later, a wave of heat and light washing over you. You turned your head to see the limousine, along with the rest of the vehicles, aflame, people screamed, flames melting their clothes and igniting their flesh as they danced amidst the wreckage. Your heart slammed in your chest, pumping so hard it physically hurt at the sight, and you felt yourself moving once more, away from the church and back.
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I can't recall if Shirou ever saw so much death in either UBW or HF. Oh, he knew people were dying, either by Medea or Dark Sakura, but he never saw people directly die in front of him, let alone in this horrible way.
Erien said:
"I am Brihannala. I regret to say this shall be the end of you."
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Aaaand as I soon I saw her image I said to myself "Fuck.Me"
Because Fem!Arjuna sounds like a very broken Divine Servant we have NO hope in defeating under these circumstances.
We could hope Brihannala is an Alter Ego, born from the time Arjuna was a Eunuch, so not as powerful as his Archer self. (Let alone his Lostbelt counterpart) But our rooster is just bad:

Mata Hari has nothing that can help in a fight. All her skills are perfect for a Spy. Nothing else.
Medea, while a very powerful Caster, can only fight at her best on her Territory. Not the case here.
EMIYA, the very definition of a Swiss Knife/Sword. Deadly against most Servants, but I don't think he can pull a NP of the caliber necessary to take out someone as powerful as Fem!Arjuna/Brihannala.

With all this in mind, this is the best option.
[X] [Hold the Line]
Try and buy time while Sakura, Taiga, and the rest flee.

I would propose using the move used by King Arthur and his knight against the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannong, but Shirou must go full Shirou.
 
[X] [Fight it out]
This servant is powerful, but there are three of you.

To my surprise, I like your Taiga. Which is *remarkable*. Also, Ayako is a good girl. Now, how do we get this Altjurna into the harem unwittingly?
 
Taiga manages to strike me the wrong way. In the source material, that is. I just somehow can't connect to her. Your Taiga is great.

Also, Ayako is an awesome girl. Also also, this is a fun quest.
 
Erien said:

View: https://i.imgur.com/4tamsJl.png

The scent of magic was in the air, overpowering, far far more than what you experienced around Circe. Whoever this servant was, she was powerful. You cast a glance around the battlefield as the woman lifted her bow again. Taiga was on the ground, having been pulled aside by Assassin, the brown-haired woman kneeling defensively above her. Sakura for her part was standing, a hand raised in front of her, Archer standing in front of her wielding twin swords of white and black.

"Master, we are at a disadvantage." Caster says, the calmness in her voice at odds with the sweat on her face. "Your orders?"

—

[] [Flee]
You could teleport out, but you'd leave Sakura and Taiga at Caster's mercy.

[] [Hold the Line]
Try and buy time while Sakura, Taiga, and the rest flee.

[] [Fight it out]
This servant is powerful, but there are three of you.

—

This chapter was remarkably difficult to write for some reason, I think Kirei is rather tricky.
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[X] [Fight it out]
"If we're going to die, we're going to die standing and drag YOU along with us to hell."
 
Adhoc vote count started by Erien on Jun 2, 2023 at 8:48 PM, finished with 66 posts and 25 votes.
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Locking in 48.
 
Erien said:
Shirou with a highjump.
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Ah yes, our trump card.

Shirou: You may be able to reset the universe or whatever bullshit your bow does (in lore), but you've committed one grave error.

Arjuna Brihannala: Oh?

Shirou: You had ovaries. *Actives Harem Protagonist EX*

Arjuna Brihannala: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
Less flippantly, I don't see this fight getting less disadvantaged in the near future, and the collateral damage happening to Kirei is better than happening to Raiga or the school
 
Adhoc vote count started by Erien on Jun 4, 2023 at 10:06 AM, finished with 74 posts and 27 votes.
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Vote locked.

After five years of writing, a crackfic is now my most successful story.

... Oh dear.
 
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