Speaking of Mari I realized something.

Remember how I posted this vid a while back? I realized it's even more true after reading Anima.

View: https://youtu.be/BnwjosbRnBU
[/SPOILER]


Still catching up on Alex's newest chapter, but want to come back to this. Baalbuddy has a Patreon, and does some pretty hilarious disproportionate fanart of minor characters from anime, usually elves and such. If you go to the YouTube page you'll see what I mean.

Anyway, ANIMA Asuka falls for this same style redraw, as you might have noticed from Squared's plug earlier.
 
Absolutely fantastic and emotionally charged chapter from beginning to end. I really like how you've handled the transformation in each of these characters over the duration of the story and I'm really intrigued as to what you're going to end up doing with Gendo. I've never read in a fic a Gendo quite as conflicted as this one seems to be and it has me very interested in where his journey will take him.

Loved the Asuka/Rebecca moments, and then the Kaworu/Asuka moments. They were very touching, felt very true to the characters and shown the genuine changes there.

So many tears spilled in this chapter you could power a small country with it all :p
 
Oh cool, Chapter 30...Part I? Ooooh.


Wings.

Langley could hear thousands of them, maybe more, all hissing and buzzing as they got closer, almost drowning out the screams from the terrified crowds in the streets around him. Ripping his eyes from the sight of Biblical awe in front of him, Langley swore under his breath and white-knuckled the steering wheel as he saw how many cars in front of them were devoid of drivers. Too many had abandoned their vehicles to run in the opposite direction.

Good job establishing the visuals of utter terror. The prose here moves quick and frantic.

One voice among the chatter did catch his attention, however. A familiar, snarky tone arguing with Rits about power distribution. "Mari?"

The chatter fell quiet as another screen popped up on Shinji's display, this one showing a very tried Mari standing in the bridge, clutching a bright pink cane. "Hey, kid. No time to talk. Good luck out there."

"I... you too." Shinji grit his teeth as he was cut off by the the whir of the elevator, feeling a rush of Gs hammer into him as he was launched upward towards the chaos above.

This whole scene is good, especially with the quick before battle banter between the pilots. I highlighted this specifically because it brings things back to the grave mood that is already clear elsewhere.


The father sighed. He had never quite gotten used to the new arm, or the new looks that came with it, but he supposed he could not blame his son for the awkwardness. "Touji!" He put on a forced smile and greeted his son, slapping him on the shoulder. "How was... your stuff today?"

Nice job showing the strained relationship. I get a glimpse of concern and an inability to show softer emotions. In only a brief bit of prose. I like that quite a bit.


It was hard for Toshiro to describe it. It was like a cicada made of clockwork and filigree, with a intricately carved ivory mask crowned atop its head. What was more concerning in the immediate moment was its mess of grabbing claws and snapping, pincered maw, as it screamed in pain.

Toshiro wasted no time, pulling Touji aside with a hand before trying to pin the horrible creature down with an nearby chair.

Good bunch of details about the Angelspawn (is that the term to use here?) And I applaud how tenacious Toshiro is even against this monster.

"I just think we should try to..." Kodama stammered out slowly as she felt a growing number of eyes turned to her, including two dour looking ones from the upper command deck. "We should try..."

"Remove Miss Horaki from her position and escort her to the brig." Gendo Ikari's voice was cold as he folded his hands in front of him. "We don't have time for someone who does not follow orders."

Kodama felt a awful chill run down her spine as a heavy gloved hand clapped around her shoulder, hauling her out of her seat. "Wait, I just..."

The last thing she saw before being dragged out of the room was Maya mouthing 'I'm sorry' as she took over, pressing the button to seal the shelters closed.

Oh, you perfectly captured the dread and dismay in this moment here.

"Dammit." All at once it was clear what Langley had to do. Taking a deep breath, he knelt down and gave his daughter a tight hug. "Stay here and stay quiet. As soon as this door opens you go inside, okay?"

Rebecca's eyes welled with tears as she realized what he was about to do. "Wait, dad, no, you don't-"

Langley shook his head. "Just stay here. It's gonna be okay."

Damn, Langley being effective. It only took imminent death.
 
Right so before anyone asks I posted this over at the Eva discussion page but I haven't gotten any feedback at all. So now I'm bored and since it somewhat has something to do with the current thread I'm posting it here as well. Apologies for the ramble in advance.

I think I finally got what was going on with the Key of Nebuchennar and why there were 4 Adams in Rebuild and it has to do with something from Eva: Anima as well as the Book of Daniel. Also I think figured out what Yui was trying to pull off when she went in Unit 1. Now mind you this could all be complete bunk generated by Covid induced cabin fever but this is what I got:

My theory is this...we never actually saw the real Selee council until the Rebuild movies and Yui did not initially intend to get put in the damn robot.

So as Rebuild established there are time loops in the Eva verse and Anima states that not only have there been botched attempts at 3rd impact before but Kiel is not actually the man in charge, he's actually a host for the entity known as Noah who possesses hosts through the Mask Kiel wears on his ugly face. Noah himself does not appear until the scene in Rebuild where Gendo and Fuyutsuki turn off the life support to the weird monoliths which are the true council. Most likely they were the original first humans who tried to pull off instrumentality and started the time loop.

Now as for Yui and Unit 01. Yui is stated in expanded universe material to be the daughter of a Selee council person or at least one of the humanoid dupes that serve as a stand-in for the real monolith council member. She's also stated in some places to be the one who approached Katsuragi on behalf of Selee and got him funding for the mission. So here's what I think, just like Sadamoto's manga version of events Gendo quite by chance meets Yui in 1998. He initially brushes off her attempts at friendship but like as likely happens in real life this just makes her more intrigued. Subconsciously maybe she probably was also thinking that she could use him to piss off her father since he's got that bad boy thing going on what with his habits of getting into bar fights. Also I am 99% sure that the reason she was so eager to throw away her career for a family is that she was hunting for a man so she could escape her own past. Anyway, after some investigation into who she is Gendo sees a path to power. So when Yui's super-intelligent (she was in college at 16 according to the manga) kohai Mari gets sent by her Senpai-Yui to try and invite Gendo over for lunch he finally goes for it and then puts on the charm which causes her to start giving a shit about him. The three of them get to know each other and Fuyutski eventually gets introduced to Gendo when Yui has him bale Gendo out of jail. Mari meanwhile starts to dislike Gendo as she stated in the manga. Mistakenly Mari believes it's because she's feeling romantic love for Yui as Sadamoto says its really a mixture of intense friendly admiration of Yui and her achievements mixed with Envy of not being her plus Jealousy that Gendo is seemingly trying to take Yui away. Respecting her friend's wishes however Mari eventually backs off and goes to England to finish her schooling. Later after the second impact she tries to become an Eva pilot after hearing what happened to Yui but is too old and so she tries some kind of experiment with LCL that in most timelines either kills her or reverts back into an infant who is subsequently modified by the American government into a weird animal hybrid pilot as what happened to her in Anima (which I still think is the timeline immediately previous to the Rebuild one). Traits of this past life are what cause Mari to make cat noises and have cat tendencies as time in Rebuild and why she doesn't hesitate to engage beast mode since it's closer to how her brain was in her hybrid timeline backstory. Also her pre-third impact employers are probably the American IAEA branch and/or the Vatican because they mention the Vatican treaty as justification for not having more than 4 Evas active and the IAEA are the ones who reactivated Unit 2. Also if any group besides Selee would know what's in those damn scrolls it's be the Vatican plus Mari is called Mary Iscariot which makes me think of the Hellsing anime group. That or because she's literally backstabbing her former friends in the form of Fuyutski and Gendo to achieve her goals.

Anyway back to Yui, Gendo, and Fuyutski. Yui probably never knew she was being duped by Gendo into getting power or by Selee into triggering a second impact. Gendo himself meanwhile probably didn't even care about Yui until he knocked her up shortly before she was supposed to go on the trip (he states she wanted to go on the trip but couldn't cause she's now pregnant). Probably when he heard that he had a change of heart and decided to take her place. Gendo returns back from the trip and one day later Second Impact happens. Initially, she thinks the Adam thing was an accident and while this is going on Gehirn is founded and they begin the Adam revival project. However, Fuyutsuki then confides in her what really happened at the South Pole and after confirming his data she realizes what Selee's real plans are. She confronts the council and they tell her to either shut up and play along or die. She then pretends to switch sides while secretly planning to sabotage the program something she confides in Fuyutski but not Gendo as by this point she no longer trusts Gendo. She commences her sabotage by claiming she can make an operating system for the damn robot using her mind as a basis and also by insisting that they make an Eva out of Lilith since Lilith is our direct progenitor and thus an eva made from it will be easier to imprint on...however she actually intends for it to act as a wrench in the machinery of third impact while doubling as a duplicate of a human's consciousness so proof of mankind's existence can remain. However, the council gets impatient and starts to investigate what's going on and why the Evas aren't running yet. In doing this they uncover the truth of Yui's plan and get ready to kill her, so she rushes the contact test to cover it up. Yui has Shinji there as a fallback, on the one hand if it works she can say to the council "see I was telling the truth all along I'm with you" while if she fails Shinji will get a warning of what 3rd impact might be which will put him off it. Yui's attempt fails though and her soul then gets sucked into Eva. While there she realizes Eva can't function without a soul and going with her philosophy of going with the oppurtunities the flow of life presents you she intentionally stays inside it and possibly after making contact with Lilith (who was still attached to Unit 1 at this time and like a good mother would want to ensure her progeny survives) she creates Rei with imprints of her love for Shinji in order to watch out for him and possibly sabotage the program. I think Naoko's vision of Yui overlapping with Rei before she strangled Rei 1 was not just psychosis but actually, Yui talking through Rei 1. In the manga, Rei says the reason she's telling Naoko what Gendo said is that she feels bad for her, and I think that was intentional. She probably wanted Naoko to turn on Gendo...but got strangled instead. Rei 1 then got put into Unit 0 but because she had Lilith's soul and not a normal human's it simply didn't fit and got cut in half. The real original programming/thoughts of Rei are what cause Unit 0 to go berserk and why Rei is such a husk emotionally speaking normally. However, when Gendo pulled her out of the plug (possibly due to the fact that at this time there were no other clones for her (the Reiquarium and those clones being made for her spare parts in case her body breaks down but he didn't want to lose her soul which at the time he thought was Yui) her programming got all screwed up and she got attached to him instead of Shinji. When Shinji initially refuses to pilot unit 01 though and unit 01 activates to protect him Gendo suddenly realizes she's not Yui which is why afterwards he's suddenly ok with sending her into combat. This is also why Rei suddenly and abruptly switched sides against Gendo after Unit 0 blew up. Probably when it exploded her soul was recombined and she started to remember her true goal plus she knew Gendo now knew the truth as well. Later on Asuka's mom tries to continue the work of Yui and partially succeeds in making a buffer for the soul-eating thing but only somewhat. This does however lead to the tech that makes the dummy plugs and allows Rei's rebirth. Gendo meanwhile after Unit 0 blows up realizes the truth of the matter regarding Rei/Lilith's soul and that's why in the end he's ok with sacrificing her come EOE. This combined with his mistreatment of Shinji and being a part of Selee's bs plots are what ultimately make her eat Gendo.

Now as for the four Adams, it has to do with the name of the Key itself. In the book of Daniel the number 4 is very significant. Nebuchenzzar the king who tried to force the Jews to worship him as a god has a nightmarish vision of a statue made of 4 metals that is destroyed by the God of Israel.

4 Chimeric BEASTS then appear before a single mysterious beast, in the form of goat bearing 1 horn then appears and removes horns from the other beats, this beast is likely the antichrist or in the Eva Universe unit 13 which has 4 arms:

Book of Daniel Chapter 7
While I was thinking about the horns, behold, another horn, a little one, came up among them, and three of the previous horns were plucked out before it; and behold, [g]​this horn possessed eyes like human eyes, and a mouth uttering great boasts.

After it's defeated we get the famous vision of the Son of Man which in the Eva verse would be Shinji and unit 01. So what I think is this...Selee was created after Noah found a way to create the ark which not only allowed the Planet to be rebooted faster after a botched impact but as a reward for this he also found a way to maintain his consciousness. As for the Key, the key is in fact what Second Impact was supposed to create all along. Selee's plan has always been ultimately to reverse the fall of man and revert him to their supposed original immortality. For the process to work though they needed a key, so they inserted human DNA into Adam in an attempt to forge a humanoid controllable key but it failed. And why is that? Because each time they tried to create a key they created a Kaworu/Tabris who had free will but the instinctual drive of the angel and each time they tried to initiate impact he, either won, chose to die, or was killed.

However, after many failures, most likely since they tried to use the lilith derived Unit 01 (the Messiah) instead of Unit 13 and Gendo (the anti-christ) they finally managed to get it done. They realized the secret was what happened with Rei 1 when her soul got divided which made Unit 0 unstable and prone to going berserk. Bring 4 additional different versions of Adam forward in time possibly from timelines where Adam succeeded in killing off humanity but in which Selee survived and triggered a reboot as well as their corpses to use as raw materials for other Evas (which is why there are so many of the damn things in the Rebuild movie). They then awakened 4 different versions of Adam fully and the temporal paradox of multiple Adams in a single place causes those Adams to blow themselves up which was so violent that in contrast to what happened to the single Adam timeline the Anti-At field managed to contaminate the whole ocean this time. Pieces of the 4 Adams are harvested and crafted into a key, with the remainder of its parts and other Adam corpses being forged into Evas. Notably, the key is missing the head section of the included nervous system most likely due to the fact Kaworu cannot bind to this key since it's not technically not his body but a Frankenstein made up of different versions of him whose souls most likely did not take a humanoid form and probably got stuck in the alternate Evas. Meanwhile Lilith or rather one of the versions of Lilith that fused when Adam as per End of Eva is back on the moon. This tracks as according to Anima every time a cycle fails Lilith's position between Earth and the Moon gets switched and if it was Purely a being forged from Lilith he couldn't control it wouldn't be derived from him. This is what Kaworu piloted back to Earth when it stopped the third impact in the rebuild movies. The Real body of Kaworu Adam is actually the NOT Lillith buried in the basement of Nerve which was sealed away by the spears. Now if the soul exists IRL it's probably based in the brain, so now you have this key without a soul but all the power of Adam and no pesky Kaworu soul interceeding to fuck up Selee's plans. So yeah excluding the original impact that made the moon the subsequent impacts are all meant to make the Key in the rebuild version of the second impact and then since the key is made of 4 additional Adams, it needs 4 additional impacts to prime it for usage. These are respectively, the near 3rd Impact Shinji caused saving Rei, the actual 3rd Impact, 4th Impact, and Final Impact. Final Impact occurred because now you have a soulless Adam husk that gets powered by an Angel soul (Asuka after she releases the 9th) plus Gendo's soul which has been reinforced by the key to allow him to control it.
Thoughts?
 
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Okay, Part 2 of Chapter 30. Overall, first impression was that you kept the adrenaline of the scenes going while still letting some character emotions give the narrative room to breathe. There's a balance and I can't say the chapter ever feels too slow or too fast.


Misato didn't need to hear that kind of panic. "Dumb, paranoid assholes." Misato cursed under her breath as she waddled along, half from the pain in her side and half from the knowledge her position granted her. It was a open secret to anyone with a tactical brain and a comprehensive map of the area that the Geofront's defences... and by extension Tokyo 3's, were not built for combating a siege by any enemies that were not hundreds of feet tall.

Misato being defiant of the pain and terror of the situation, fighting through despite it. She's keeping her cool more than the pilots are in this chapter, honestly.

"God dammit, Shinji, go kill the stupid thing," Kaworu hissed, trying to focus on keeping the wall up as long as possible while ignoring the screams of his brethren as they suicidally charged the line. His heart was breaking in his chest as felt their lights go out one by one as they burned up clawing at the wall.

He would not have to do this forever, Kaworu reasoned, as he felt tears run down his cheeks. It would be over soon, and then he could make a better world then this. He would wipe away all the suffering and make a purer, kinder world.

Oh, this part really stands out to me. Just hearing Kaworu use that sort of language (I don't feel like he normally does) and really crying and having an honest breakdown about the angel. It's powerful and it lets me know that he's being pushed to a darker place, the brink of it all.

Toshiro barely had a moment to move out of the way before Touji reached it, hammering at it with his bared metal fist until its screams stopped.

"You alright?" his father asked, shocked at his son's actions.

Touji looked himself over, his body marked with a dozen small scratches and bruises. "I'm fine. I..." he shook his head with a odd smile. "Its better then waiting in the dark."

Touji unlocked a special attack! Also, the odd smile detail is great. It's contrasting to things and it shows how the energy of a situation can be thrilling even in danger.

There had been pain, but it seemed to be mostly gone now, replaced by a drowsy numbness that seeped all over his tired frame.

Remembering something from earlier Langley reached down with a shaking hand to his pocket, every inch an effort until he pulled out a cracked looking cell phone.

"Captain...," Langley muttered under his breath as he sent what he had to Katsuragi, "Please... do what I couldn't." With a pained sigh he dropped the phone when he was done, feeling a fleeting darkness cloud the corners of his vision

Goodbye, Langley. You were a pitiful and inept man in a lot of ways, but in the end, I can't bring myself to hate you. I know you cared and that you tried.

"Dad... no... dad... Shinji my dad is... he's right down there! I can see him, and he's..." Images from Asuka's heads up displayed in the corner of Shinji's own screen. It was blurry and dark, but from what he could see there was a man in a tan suit slumped over in an alley, his body covered in dark red wounds.

Unit-02 reached out a large armoured hand towards the slumped form before withdrawing it, realizing its own strength. "Please, someone... Misato, please, send someone, I don't know... I don't know where Rebecca is, please..." She continued like that, her voice ragged as stood watch over the corpse, barely looking up to swat at drones flying nearby.

Big armored hands and a small devastated voice behind them. She's slipping like Kaworu but not the same way, something sort of like it. I can feel how she hurts and the paradox of her strength.

"I take back mmm... half the awful things I said about you," Misato chuckled and grabbed a magazine from the man, unable to handle anything bigger then her pistol with her injury.

"Only half?" The Section 2 man cocked an eyebrow.

I can buy the levity. Misato being a hardened soldier and she'd be able to crack jokes in tense spots.

The heat from the conference was returning to Shinji, the smoldering anger and desperation he felt so strongly back then rising up again as he carved through a cloud of the cherubs before launching himself up at the Angel, leaping end over end as he let out a throaty roar that echoed over the whole city.

The emphasis on temperature and sound is a good choice. Those senses can often be consuming and drown out everything but the most visceral thoughts.


Shinji almost wailed in return before he took a breath and cleared his mind like Kaworu had taught him. He felt the cold rhythm of the song lash out, past Shinji and then down, deep down into the dark rock and stone of the Geofront below towards... something. Shaking his head Shinji focused on the creature in front of him, trying to synch his own energy with its until he felt a silence between one verse and the next and that was when Shinji struck, stabbing a fiery clawed hand deep into the creatures flesh.

This is a nice use of senses and their descriptions too. A melody that you feel like a heart beat, and that detail of fire and claws into vulnerable flesh. Vivid. Just vivid.

It took great effort for Shinji to keep the the pressure going as the Angel's song of solitude and tragedy turned to one of pain and betrayal, shrieking as it burned from the inside out, its cherub children screaming their own songs as they flew from their mother already wreathed in flame, flying barely a moment before crashing to the ground in a heap of scorched wings.

Just as Shinji thought he could not take it anymore the Angel's cry reached its choked crescendo before fading into silence as all life and movement faded from its form, the towering monolith now nothing more then a cracked and burnt tower of ash.

This is some great metal album cover imagery.
Also, if I can think about symbolism, this death cry and burning feels really relevant to what has happened to Asuka and Rebecca. That's an association that came to me immediately.
 
Goodbye, Langley. You were a pitiful and inept man in a lot of ways, but in the end, I can't bring myself to hate you. I know you cared and that you tried.
Not to pat myself on the back but I do think Langley is one of my better creations, hes flawed but in a very human and relatable way, I am glad people found him engaging.
 
I've said it before, but even knowing it was coming, reading Langley's death after you posted it here hit me right in the feels.
 
How Asuka reacts to a character death as close and dear to her as this, whether she witnesses Mr. Langley going down or is told off screen, I prefer Alex's method. But seeing that was only the past however months (Covid time perception crunch / multiplier and whatnot) I can sympathize with the nearness of that dismay.

We NGE nerds love Asuka to bits and this is a particularly active NGE fic thread, the chances of hearing how it affects fellow readers / writers aboard the great forum flagship simply abounds, and yeah it hurts.

Anyway, I want to emphasize something pretty cool here. I think Alex's writing may have inspired the (apologies for euphemisms!) whoopsie daysie moment with Langley in none other than the A&SIP fic (which got off the ground easily 12 mo later).

Going to spoiler link what I mean, please excuse the text blurb!

For Dr. Langley... ಸ_ಸ

"Gendo, Dr. Fuyutsuki, Miss Katsuragi, I truly appreciate your time," David hurriedly concluded the day's affairs. "I need to catch my flight back to Germany, but I will be back out... soon."

"Dr. Langley, we cannot express enough how grateful we are for the Langley Foundation's support and your visit, and that Asuka herself has joined us."

"Yes," David grunted before cutting the conversation bluntly. "Asuka, come with me."

Her heart sank as they silently made their way through the building. Neither spoke until they arrived at the front drop-off location where her father's rental was left.

No longer accompanied by anyone, David turned and stared downward at his daughter, eyes flickering between pain and anger, "You lied to me."

"Papa..."

"Not only did you lie to me, but Shinji lied to me, too."

"Papa," Asuka reached out and tried to take her father's hand, but he pulled away.

"I don't know if I'm more disappointed or hurt right now, Asuka."

"Papa, please..."

"I have to go, I have to go check on your mother. But I will call you after I know her condition."

"Papa..."

"Consider yourself fortunate that I'm not taking you to the airport with me now," David would not allow her to get a word in, and his final statement cut her to the core, "Enjoy the Festival, Asuka."

"Papa..." the tears had begun rolling down her cheeks, unceasing, even as the car left her vision.
Picking up her phone, Asuka breathed a sigh of relief when the caller ID displayed "OZ".

Answering the call, Asuka couldn't help but continue to admire her outfit in the mirror, a last anchor to her happiness in Japan, "Ozvaldo, I have to admit, I look fabulous in a yukata."

Unfortunately, those would be the last words she spoke to the older man that day. Instead, he shakily addressed her and broke her heart, sapping any strength she had left.

After what felt like an eternity, Asuka dropped her phone, allowing it to slip unceremoniously to the floor, as she bolted out of her room. The moment the phone skipped off the floor, an explosion rocked the dormitory building.

And a door opened.

Swift feet race through the apartment. Two girls attempt to address the girl, but she's already left.

Another door opened.

Now down the hallway. Tears streaming. An impatient finger jabs the button repeatedly. Unable to wait, the girl turns towards the stairwell.

Another door opened.

Barefoot, she runs down dozens of flights of stairs, the pain in her feet muted by the pain in her heart. Over a dozen floors pass by, Asuka doesn't count. She races for the number "2".

Another door opened.

In the final hallway. She pounds on a door, unceasing. Black tears stain her cheeks, painted by hurt and gravity. Her dress torn in multiple places, having caught on the stairwell. She didn't know or care.

The last door opens.

Seeing her target in the back of the room, Asuka sprints in, launching herself into his arms. There is nowhere else she wants to be.

Nothing will heal the hurt, fix the pain. She has no one again.

Still holding her tight, Shinji ignored the object and tried to look into Asuka's eyes, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. His shirt had grown damp from the tears.

"Hey, Asuka, what's going on?"

She doesn't answer for nearly a half hour, instead a heavy wailing fills the silence. Eventually the sobs lighten and Asuka shudders against his chest.

"Shinji..." her weak voice tugs at his heart.

"Yes, Asuka?"

"Shinji...!" she cried harder.

"What's wrong?"

"My- my- m- m- my..." Asuka's anguished cries overtook her attempts to speak and she broke down again.

"Asuka, Asuka. What's wrong?"

Moments turned to seconds. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes turned to hours. Hours to days, weeks, months, years. Or a lifetime. Shinji couldn't be sure. All he knew in that moment was that a crumpled wreck of a human being was laid across his lap, and all three occupants of the room were silent.

Nearly an eternity had passed before Shinji could speak again. He had shaken and prodded Asuka to determine that her heavy crying had subsided not because she was out of tears, but because she was asleep.

"Musashi?" Shinji croaked. His throat was parched and his heart ached for Asuka, not knowing why.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

The other boy looked at his phone, having sat in respectful silence the entire time.

"It's 5:13."

She's been here almost an hour, Shinji thought.

"Have they done roll yet?"

Musashi shook his head, "I don't think so. We aren't required to report until next week, so I don't know if there are enough of us to warrant it."

Shinji nodded and considered his options. Unfortunately, guests were against the rules during a lockdown situation, especially those of the opposite sex. If Asuka is caught in his room, or missing from hers, there could be trouble.

"Musashi, I need your help."

"Anything."

"I need you to go across the hall and hang with Kensuke. Tell them I'm sick or something, but I'm in here," Shinji devised the plan on the fly. "Make sure you close the door."

The boy hopped off of his bed, "You got it."

"I'll call Mari and see if I can figure out what's going on."

When Musashi left he dialed Asuka's phone, hoping a roommate would answer. Fortunately, someone did.

"He- hello. Is this Shinji?"

Shinji answered in the affirmative, holding the phone to his ear while Asuka breathed slowly against his chest.

"Yes. Is this Mari?"

"Yeah. Is Asuka with you?" Mari asked over the phone.

"Yes."

"Oh thank goodness." The voice on the phone quieted as the device was momentarily pulled away, "May- she's in Shinji's room. Yeah, she went to his room."

"Mari?"

Her volume returned as she continued the call, "We've been trying to get ahold of you, but we didn't know her PIN. She needs you, Shinji."

"Mari? Mari. What happened?" Shinji did his best to speak softly but still needed answers.

"Wait, she didn't tell you?"

Shinji shook his head, not realizing she wouldn't see the action, "No. She's been crying nonstop. I can't get a word out of her..."

"Oh man, I don't want to be the one to tell you," Mari sighed.

"Is it her mother? I know she was sick."

Shinji heard a stifled sob over the phone and prepared for the worst, "No, Shinji. Or at least, I hope not..."

"Mari, what happened?"

Mari took a deep breath, "That Oz guy called back. Several times..."

"Okay..."

"Her father," her sobs were no longer under control, "her father was in a car accident on the way home from the airport..."

Shinji's heart dropped out of the bottom of his soul, crashing to the floor. The unimaginable pain and anguish Asuka was going through hurt him so much, and he could barely hold his own tears in.

The word "No..." escaped his throat, but he already knew what was coming.

"Asuka's father died, Shinji."

---
( by author RLLRRR )
 
Oh man. I like that you only gave the characters the briefest respite before another emotional deep dive.

All of the starting passage with Asuka was great. The way things seemed distant around her while she's trying to process. This part in particular really stands out for me:

She was vaguely aware Shinji had killed the thing. It was hard not to, with so much of the chatter from the fools around her being celebratory cheers about their "victory". It didn't make her feel any better, though. It didn't make her feel anything at all.

There's a restrained aspect to the words here. Or more like just clinical, since there's nothing to restrain. It has the same feeling you get in movies when a scene goes into slow motion or when the sound goes out from shock.


Her final words for her father echoed in her mind, she said she had wished he had died instead of mom. She had just meant to hurt him, to twist the knife just a little bit more, but it had ended up being the last thing he ever heard from her.

What was the last thing she had said to her mother? Asuka wondered idly, her mind spinning in circles as she tried to cope with what she was feeling. There was a hole, a sickening absence that she could not ignore, something that threatened to swallow her up if she could not face it.

Really feeling the sense of powerlessness and being overwhelmed here. The imagery and word choice make everything feel so unbearably heavy.

Her explanation was interrupted when her sister hugged her back, crying far more openly. "You saw him, right? Misato said you found him. Is he really..."

Rebecca cried, unable to finish the sentence, leaving it to Asuka who nodded and grit her teeth. "He's gone."

I should be happy that they're hugging but I can't be, not when it took this to bring it out in them.

Despite the importance of the event, looking back Shinji found he could only remember the smallest and strangest details, like the way his shoes were just a bit too tight in the toes, the smell of old leather as he and the girls were piled in the back of Langley's old car, the way the sky seemed to be just on the edge of rain all day, setting everyone just that little bit more on edge than they already were.

Very authentic. It's common to remember the weird little things and I appreciate the verisimilitude. And it also continues that sensation of being surrounded by great and looming things that you're too small to go against.

Shinji looked up as he heard Mari speak from the front seat.

"How we deal with loss speaks to who we are. We should not ignore it, but... you should also not let yourself become consumed by it. Take the part of them that made you stronger and keep it with you, emulate it and then hope that the next generation takes that from you. That is all that matters."

Shinji saw Kaworu's eyes go dark. "That seems a bit callous, to think of it like that."

"It is the human condition," Mari explained. "I am sorry if I am not more sentimental, but I am not sure I have time for it."
[/QUOTE

Oh man, this is neat. It makes me wonder, Mari and Kaworu haven't really spoken to each other much before this, have they? It's still great, contrasting two very different people and I bet it really gets Kaworu thinking and might strongly motivate his future actions.

Misato held the silver cross around her neck between her fingers, feeling its cold metal seep into her skin like a shade. "I have been where they are, and I know the last thing they need is to be alone."

The doctor nodded taking one last drag from her cigarette before tossing it over her shoulder towards the white stone path. "Take them, then. We can sort out the specifics later."

"Thanks." Misato Katsuragi smiled, wrapping an arm around her friend boisterously.

Nice to see that Ritsuko shows she cares in an intense time. Is it easy for her or Misato to open up or do they also need to be in dire straits to do so? How much is she feeling affected by this compared to Misato?

"Umm, Misato?" Rebecca closed the fridge door and then opened it again, faintly hoping what she saw would be different then when she last checked. "Do you have anything ugh... non-alcoholic?" The blonde girl gave a little sigh as she inspected the fridge full of golden beer cans and boxes of take out she did not wish to speculate the age of.

Aww, Rebecca. I love having characters respond to their environment. It always feels more substantial.

"Let me guess, lots of cookies and cakes?" Asuka poked her sister before snickering to herself but making Rebecca blush in shame.

"Asuka..." Misato sighed. "I know things must be hard, but can you please just..." she trailed off clearly not sure what else to say.

"Fine," Asuka grit her teeth and sulked. "I'll be good, my best behaviour, even. "

Should have expected to see Asuka lash out like this. Escalating, gathering steam, boiling, that's how it feels to read this.

"She ran away because you tormented her! Just like you torment me!" Rebecca started shouting, her throat going sore as she felt more then a few tears pour down her cheeks, so much bottled emotion being let loose. "She tried to love you but you would not let her!"

"I didn't owe her my love! I am sick and fucking tired of everyone telling me how much I owe them! How I have to work and fight and bleed and be happy while doing it." Asuka seethed her face going red as she held the edge of her chair in a death grip. "The second Kyoko died your mother tried to swoop in and replace her. Why the hell should I have given her anything but my contempt?!"

Rebecca grit her teeth, the dam broken. "So that's it then? It was just out of spite? You were just mad my mother was still alive and yours wasn't, so you had to even the score? To win?" Rebecca almost laughed. "You're pathetic."

Who was sitting on these feelings the most? Who has bottled it up more? I'm assuming Rebecca. I can tell that it's more painful for her in this scene. But how much has Asuka been honest about this? Does she usually blow up over other things as a distraction?

"It is," Kaworu said after a moment, something catching in his throat. "I suppose part of the beauty comes from its ending, without it... nothing else could begin." He smiled a bit and squeezed Shinji's hand hard in his. "Thank you, Shinji."

Shinij blushed at the contact. "For what?"

At that Kaworu chuckled. "For everything, for being with me, for being so kind to me... to saving my life even when they punished you for it, just... thank you for existing. You have no idea how much of a balm your presence has had on me these last few weeks, and before that... the impression you gave me as a child, that lasted all those years."

And I'm having more questions. How long did Kaworu spend coming up with these words? Did he have to rehearse or did they come out quickly and easily? And again, did the stuff Mari said have something to do with his choice to talk to Shinji here? How does he handle feeling confronted by mortality?

Gotta go on a bit of a mini-tangent here. Just the way you keep having Kaworu grapple with the human condition in so many scenes. It's a bit odd to ask about it so many chapters in, but was that a central idea or theme you knew you wanted to expand on when you started writing BnB? It feels natural to want to explore that dimension and make an interesting addition to the picture of Kaworu we get in canon Eva.

He was cut off by Kaworu's lips on his, a needy hunger surging through him as the boy rested a hand on his chin and kissed him again, and then again, savoring every moment before withdrawing and taking a deep breath before leaning in to whisper in Shinji's ear, "You are worthy of my grace, Shinji Ikari."

(Ooooh, he did the meme!)

Serious thoughts though. It's very charged, this moment. The passion and the hopefulness bleeds through everything Kaworu is saying and doing here.

"We are not so different, Shinji. You are the frist Lilim to successfully mingle with Adamite flesh, a miracle of a union unseen on this Earth. While I..." Kaworu took a moment and lifted his arms wide before a bright and queer light began emanating off of him in waves, surging up and around like great wings that illuminated the whole floor in their majestic light. "I am Tabris, Adam reborn, the last and greatest of all Angels, destined to end this world and remake it in my image."

Something inside Shinji died, his breath growing slow as he tried to process the words he was hearing. "Kaworu?" he asked desperately, his voice cracking as he felt the light from Kaworu rush over him, mingling with his own field in a painful harmony. "What are you talking about..."

Ah yes, here we go! It's the big reveal. And the shock of it is absolutely earned. I can tell how tremendous it is, for the wider narrative and for these two in this moment right now.

Man, I legit gasped and OMG'd in real life during this chapter. Applause for you, you've earned it.
 
A preliminary report from the previous. *tap tap* Is commenting restored? Ah, splendiferous. So it looks like @Zunomian got to chapter 31 at the very least. Meanwhile I will back to /latest in a jiff. :)

Thank you for writing such a grand spanning fic, OP Alex.
 
Just finished reading through this, I liked it quite a bit. You do a good job with characterization.

should be "you two"
Thanks, glad you enjoyed. Next chapter will be out... eventually. Sorta had to rewrite it from scratch several times because I wasn't happy how it was going.

Also thank you for the catch, not everything is fixed in editing.
 
I would like to ask though, if i can break my silence and make a request. I am interested to hear people's opinions of the story and how it progressed. Especially those (no offense to my Loyalists who read and comment every chapter) who read but don't comment. I don't want to just bask in praise if people have criticisms I would be interested in hear them I just want to take a bit of a temperature check as we move into the final acts of the fic.
 
Keep people on their seats and keep building suspense. This is whether you think you got it right because the story needs to be told haphazardly sometimes. Quality checks are to me never worth asking but instead, especially during the New Normal, assumed unavailable until sometime down the road. I could be wrong.
 
I like how you really embrace the different universe aspect while keeping things recognizable. Like, there's more to this story than one singular point of divergence. You took characters whose existence was only inferred by canon material and made them feel as interesting as the main cast.

You asked how we feel about the story's progress and I think that as it's gone on, it seems bigger and more sure of its ambitions. You're really exploring the ramifications of Shinji's state and how it changes his relationships with everyone.
 
I enjoy the way you explore different angles on the world that we never got to see. It's easy to look at what a piece of media shows you and extrapolate it all in straight lines, assume that it's all like that, but you build a world more expansive than just extrapolations on canon. I especially like the directions you take Kaworu in, which feel like how he might have been characterized if he had more time on the show.

Honestly, you're just a really inspired writer in general, and the way you weave themes and character arcs together is so seamless. I especially like how you're able to juggle a cast of characters in a very even-handed fashion, where no one fades out of focus too much but at the same time, no one feels like they have no reason to exist.

If I were to give one criticism, it would be that in some of the middle chapters(around the teens) things felt like they slowed to a crawl for a while, without much in the way of real plot progression or advancement in the characters' dynamics. On the flipside, you've also occasionally introduced plot points in a way that felt somewhat rushed. So I guess the pacing in general has sometimes had issues.

I still enjoy your work though, and the mature, grounded pathos you manage to inject into all this high-concept stuff.
 
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