For where Avaritia stands on Gula, just refer back to episode 7. Seriously, it was a pretty explicit part of her arc!
07. Rewind! Even Ida Needs Breaks?!
Oh you think you're funny, do you.
"Hi!" the voice in the speaker said. "This is Ida! If you are hearing this, I can't-"
I killed the connection, then dialed another number. Neither Temperance nor Ida answered. I drummed my fingers against the back of my other hand. I wanted to shout and pace and work out the thoughts physically until I was calm enough to know what to do. But the last thing I needed was to disturb dad and have to deal with his complaints instead of whatever crisis had reduced someone to begging me for help.
We have no time for self-deprecation! Head to the C-mobile and have a solid screaming session!
Instead, I took a deep breath. It was probably nothing that serious. No one would call me for help with an attacking monster. But, someone had called me and I couldn't just do nothing.
And then, in the early morning of Friday, February 9th, a little under two weeks after my kidnapping, I received a single call from Ida. The voice on the other end was too childish and too desperate to be hers. Whoever it was made no greeting, nor did she offer anything more than a single cry for help before the line went dead.
The BLINKERS on this clown.
But, someone had called me and I couldn't just do nothing.
This is why there's still a hero in there though.
Okay, it was nowhere near time for classes to start and, as far as I knew, none of the sports teams had morning practice. That meant Ida would most likely have been at her home if something had happened. I saw no signs of a waiting Inessa as I slipped out of the house. It was a bit early for her, but, still one more piece of evidence to point toward something being wrong.
The walk toward Ida's house was agonizing. I wanted to sprint, but arriving without any stamina left wouldn't have helped anyone. So I alternated between jogging and power walking, worrying and wishing I owned at least a bike all the while.
I couldn't help but count the minutes. It took 19 of them to find myself, tired but functional, pawing at the fancy digital intercom at the entrance to Ida's building. Though the red brick facade spoke of age, the system was brand new and well-taken care of. Those were the perks of living this close to the city center, a fair trade for how cramped the apartment must be when shared between three people.
Rank Zero Endurance.
Hm, Ida lives in an apartment less than 20 minutes walking distance from C and Inessa's street, and in a family of three.
Eventually, after I had half resolved to start buzzing Ida's neighbors one by one, the intercom crackled to life and Ida's voice, more exhausted than I could recall hearing her, came through.
"Yes?" she said. I sighed in relief. She was alive and he didn't sound like she was in any great misery or fear.
"T-this is C. You called and asked for help?" the voice hadn't quite sounded like Ida, but it had been her phone.
Ida cursed, and the intercom went quiet for a moment before coming back, "It's fine C! Sorry to bother you, but things are going…." a muffled voice cut Ida off. This was followed by an exchange of words I couldn't understand.
Finally, Ida responded again, "Okay, things are fine," she said, refusing to concede to the other speaker, "but you can come on up if you really want to help. You don't need to though. I got this," she said, her voice quivering faintly with the desperation of someone who absolutely did not have whatever this was.
Ida is such a funny foil for C. "I can't handle anything so no one would be dumb enough to ask for help" vs "I can handle anything so please don't ask to help."
I slipped into the elevator and waited to be lifted to Ida's fifth floor apartment. I'd only seen it once or twice, but it wasn't hard to recall the details. Ida lived in a sleek modern two bedroom with hardwood pergo floors. Her mother had it decorated with an array of treasured tchotchkes, the artsy white-with-black print interrupted by Ida's brother's scattered toys. Floating above it all: the heavy smell of scented candles filling the air. I shivered, hoping that none would be cinnamon.
Haha, trauma.
This seems homey, and tchotchkes are, oh, Jewish-American knicknacks, interesting.
I was expecting the 'single parent with a younger sibling' bit, very blatant hints at why Ida has a complex about pulling her weight and the rest of the barbell set while she's at it.
At least that's how it usually looked. When I opened the door, I instead found myself confronted with a number of fragments of what had previously been Ida's mom's Rae Dunn obsession. Amongst the rubble, there was Ida, or rather Angelic Saint Diligentia. For once, she didn't look all that angelic. Dirt and grass stains marked her skirt and large chunks of ribbon were missing from her top. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes, struggling to comprehend my presence for all that we had just talked.
"Hi… Diligentia?" I offered tentatively.
Ida seemed worried for a second, then glanced down at herself, "Oh, huh, forgot to change back with everything going on." She made no move to detransform.
Oh this is. Ah. Pretty bad huh.
Think the Abyssal Forest turned Ida's mom or brother into a Resinner. Which is. Which is pretty fucked you might say.
Ida's blasted as hell right now in any case.
"Everything?"
"Well," whatever Ida had been about to say got cut off by a small redheaded blur dashing in my direction before circling around me cowering behind my leg.
"C!" It chirped with a quiet urgency, "tell Temperance to stop biting me!"
"Diligentia," I asked, as I reflexively patted the small child's head, "Why is Inessa more of a child than usual?"
Oh biting you say.
C is such a rude motherfucker when it comes to Inessa Owns.
More of this healthy behavior.
Ida sighed, "This new Beast's Resinners are all… well, nothing will ever be as bad as Fidget Spinner, but they're all weird!" Even as tired as she clearly was, Ida paused momentarily to shake the lingering trauma out of her thoughts. "Look, everything's okay, so you don't need to worry about it. As soon as I defeat the monster, they should go back to normal."
And okay, maybe I was a little panicked when the fourth quarter started and Ida didn't show up; but of course all was well in the end. She returned (exhausted but unharmed) post-game and Inessa and Temperance (also exhausted) made their way back to their seats at the same time.
"If I never see a fidget spinner again for as long as I live," Inessa groaned as she approached. Temperance nodded wordlessly, looking ever so slightly frazzled.
I was too consumed with my own issues to bother with our usual dance of Inessa making very obvious slips about magical girl business and me pretending to misconstrue them. I simply pretended not to hear that.
"Sorry about that C! We, umm, ran into someone we know on the way and one of her friends was in trouble so we had to help out and, well, we lost track of time." Inessa dipped her head in apology.
Translation, they bumped into Avaratia Wolf, Gula Shark or some new leader of whatever shadowy force kept turning people into monsters, and she had a monster attack the gang. Ida tried to stick with the basketball game because this match was important but they couldn't defeat until she came and helped.
"Are they okay?" I asked despite myself.
"Well, everything is all fine now, but I think we still have some things to talk about with our friend next time we see her," Inessa only panicked a little as she tried to translate what had happened.
In other words, whichever general had shown up to lead the enemy had gotten away (it was probably Avaritia Wolf, I hadn't seen Gula Shark in any monster attacks since early December.)
Temperance nodded along stoically, "Right, she's still confused about a few things, but we'll help her see the light soon enough after all this."
Which is to say Temperance was livid, insofar as Temperance actually felt any emotions at all under that mask of hers, at whatever this fidget spinner themed monster had been and was probably totally determined to crush her enemy next time she saw her.
What the FUCK did the fidget spinner do.
Ida: Please leave me to Acts of Service myself into the grave thanks.
She wobbled a little unsteadily, thrown off balance via glancing contact from a blue haired child's approach. No larger than Ida, with her hair cut much shorter than I remembered and a pair of boyish overalls, this version of Temperance sported a worrisomely savage grin full of pointy teeth. One hand was clutched around what seemed to be Michael trying desperately to escape.
"Hiya big sis!" she said, beaming at me with youthful malice. "I'll let go of Michael if you give me back Inessa!"
Both Inessa and the plushie froze in quiet terror until Ida plucked Michael straight from Temperance's grasp and did her best to brush off the plushie. Michael wasted no time in taking higher to the air, well out of Temperance's reach.
Well. Jesus christ.
Temperance's obsession with forcefemming C continues as she commits horrific baby on baby violence.
Alright it actually seems like the pair of toddlers Ida is in no way able to handle is why the apartment's blown up, false alarm.
Looking at that "hair cut much shorter" and "boyish overalls" and feeling T4T suspicions returning, hmmm.
"Hello Charlie," Michael's voice was particularly squeaky this morning and she seemed to have a bit of drool on her leg, greatly undercutting any gravitas the flying plushie might have managed.
"Hi Michael, did you call me?" I hadn't recognized the voice on the phone, but Michael seemed the most likely suspect.
She shook her head, circling around me slowly, examining, "No, loathe as I am to involve a mere mortal in our conflict, I declined to disturb you no matter the exigency of the situation. I believe Inessa stole Ida's phone."
Inessa nodded triumphantly, "I'm kinda mixed up," she admitted, "but I can mostly remember!"
Inessa: I'm the most competent girl in the room right now!
C: Oh god for once she isn't kidding.
Michael out here like "Mere mortals should not be put to work for their saviors' needs" when she's getting mauled by a baby shark.
The principle of it is awe-inspiring, the practice of it is 100% embarrassing.
C's probably gonna say some hotshit like "Oh woe is me Inessa only
actually relies on me as a toddler" instead of acknowledging how sincerely moving it is that Inessa thinks the world of her best friend no matter what.
"I have it under control," Ida interjected stubbornly. Inessa shook her head frantically from side to side refusing to leave her hiding place behind my legs.
Frustrated at her lack of a sapient plushie and/or archangel, Temperance carefully maneuvered her face to Ida's newly free hand before biting down sharply. Ida winced. "All. Under. Control." she said, clearly at a loss as to how to stop imp-mode Temperance from assaulting her.
Temperance, Age Chibi: I will simply cause problems.
There is absolutely zero unity here. Incredible.
"I, uh," I frowned. Ida needed help and, while I couldn't do anything to resolve whatever had caused all this, I was confident I could at least manage a pair of children for a bit, "Look Ida, I know I'm useless and you think I'll just mess things up if I get involved with the actual monster fighting, but I think I can at least help with this, and you must need a break after… whatever this has been?"
Michael, landing on my head, nodded agreeably.
"I don't need a break and I don't think you're useless C! I just…" Ida pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is our job. It's our duty to handle this and I already messed up once tonight and let them get hit in the first place."
This is so. Everything. LITERALLY Ida does not think less of C, she just never wants anyone else to ever be troubled on her account, but straight up C
also has that acts of service love language so they just get in the way of each other for no reason.
"No one can ever get hurt or its all my fault! No it isn't, it's mine! No, mine! Mine! MINE!!!" C and Ida, having an entire argument saying the exact same words at each other.
I didn't think I'd be able to beat Miss Stubborn as a Boulder, so I opted for another strategy instead.
Temperance as a scheming demon child was, suffice to say, novel. Inessa, on the other hand, I had known at this age. It was plain that both recognized me. But, going by the fact that Inessa was every bit as shy as she'd been back then and that I couldn't imagine Temperance actually biting anyone in a million years, it felt safe to assume that their personalities had changed backwards to some extent. They were "mixed-up" as Inessa put it. And, if there was one thing I knew I could do, it was managing a young Inessa.
Oh, subversive activities, subversive activities!
C is so good at this, if we injected some self-awareness into this bitch everything would be golden.
"Hey Inessa," I kneeled down and whispered conspiratorially in her ear, "do you want to show Temperance some of Magical Starlight Princess Knight Orion: Lovely Star?"
Inessa perked up, then immediately ducked back behind my leg and muttered something quietly. She'd been very different at that age; hurt and shy. It had taken her years to come out of her shell.
"Go on, I'm sure she'll love it and you won't get in trouble," I gave the hesitating girl a pat on the back.
"Can I?" Inessa asked, looking to me for permission.
I nodded gently and gave her a little push. That was all she needed. Inessa marched over to Temperance and grabbed the other girl's hand, shaking her away from a bemused Ida. Inessa pulled Temperance back to me to grab my hand and solemnly dragged both of us to the couch. Temperance seemed intrigued enough at this side of Inessa to cooperate for the moment. But it wasn't like she really had a choice; I feared for anyone who tried to get between a ten year old Inessa and her love for Orion.
Look at this. Literally why they're besties.
Really really sweet that C's looking at Inessa: Age 10 and just "Oh yeah, I remember what made her break out of her shell."
(If only C could remember it wasn't
just magical girls that helped)
C: Inessa as a kid could kick anyone's ass for Orion. If I stood behind that ten year old's banner I would fear neither doubt nor darkness.
Michael: Do you think that about Inessa now?
C: Lol. Lmao. Are you kidding.
C: ...Okay yeah.
I shot Ida a triumphant smirk. It only took a few minutes, and a few desperate maneuvers to retain Temperance's attention, to get streaming set up and allow both girls to grow entranced by Inessa's childhood passion. The redhead offering a deluge of enthusiastic explanations to her blue haired team-mate. Temperance, for her part, seemed captivated by the cartoon, to the extent that she barely noticed Inessa's rambling.
I ruffled Inessa's hair one last time then extricated myself from the couch to confer with Ida.
C: HA, that's right, I'M the one who can handle ten year olds around here!
[This is genuinely the most pride C has ever held in 17 years)
This is super cute, the blatant fondness of one's best friend as a loveable scamp and the irony of C probably inflicting the exact same egg formation on Temperance as Inessa did C.
"Ida," I whispered softly, eliciting a moan of acknowledgement. Her eyes flickered open and she faced me, even if she didn't say anything. "what's the plan?"
She glanced reluctantly to the kids, then to me and sagged in defeat, "If, and you really shouldn't feel obligated, but if you can watch them, I can go out and hunt the monster right now and then we can at least make it to school by lunch?"
I stared at her, "Ida, you can barely stay awake."
"I'm fine!" She said, defensively, "I can do this! I'm Diligentia, and not even I know my own limits!"
"Obviously," Michael added unnecessarily, causing Ida to blush, "Besides," the angel said, "Our mysterious foe's Resinner may take after her creator. It did seem to vanish with the dawn."
Oh, so this is DIRECTLY C's fault.
Which makes the lens of everything, kinda interesting.
Oh huh, I guess you
would like to make everything as simple to handle as when you and Inessa were kids, wouldn't you C?
Ida: I have no godly idea when to stop.
Michael: And you think that's a superpower.
Ida: ...Isn't it?
Ida makes me laugh.
Ida frowned at that, "I'm sure you could fight it as you are," I lied. "But without Inessa or Temperance to help, it'd probably go a lot better if you had some time to recover first, and they've clearly been running you ragged. I mean, think how I'd feel if I left you to fight by yourself and you got hurt because I didn't even help you get a small break?"
Ida sighed, "Fine. My mom will be back in," she struggled for a bit, "a bit after noon, so we should try to hide somewhere by then. C-could you watch them while I take a nap?"
I nodded, and Ida's weary eyes shut once more.
Weaponized Self-Guilt Trip! It's Super Effective!
"Bed!" I glared with mock severity. Ida nodded and stumbled toward her bedroom.
"Ida?" I asked after her.
"Yes?" she asked, wobbling a little as she turned back.
"Detransform."
Ida stared at me in confusion for a few moments before her uniform dissolved into yellow ribbons, leaving her in pajamas.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
I looked to Michael, once Ida's door was firmly shut. "You need a break too?"
The angel looked at me, unimpressed, "Nonsense! Such as we actually have no concept of exhaustion," she looked to Inessa, currently holding Temperance off from biting her with both arms, "but those creatures do… elicit a hitherto unknown emotion."
"Babies are wack."
"I know Michael."
"Babies are
wack."
"I know, I know."
Michael looking at the cherubic faces of her child sized Saints:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy4n8_GI_Qk
"Right," I offered, "go get cleaned up and take a break. Ida'll need you in top form if she's fighting by herself," I had no clue if Michael did anything useful in fights, but giving people an excuse to make doing what they wanted the right thing tended to help.
C has a backhanded narration worthy of Phoenix Wright.
The angel dipped her head in acknowledgement and floated away to seek her own rest. I moved back to the couch for a morning of babysitting. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't had breakfast, but I paid it no mind. I'd feel uncomfortable raiding Ida's fridge and we would need to sort out lunch anyway soon enough. And, at 9:30, I only *really* had to keep them busy for two and a half hours. Easy.
The LITERAL hypocrisy.
Just make food for everyone dumbass.
You know C's actual problem is that food is 100% necessary to be emotionally balanced but right here and now where that's essential it's just "oh noooooo I can't eat at a friend's house while I'm helping her rest, that would be silly, missing the point, I definitely don't need to be topped off so I can actually do the job I've assigned myself right."
CLOWN.
Please eat when you feel hungry dear readers, this has been your Public Service Announcement.
Besides, it was nice to imagine Inessa at this age getting to have more than just the one friend, if only for a single afternoon.
Ough.
C's envy doesn't mean Inessa's happiness isn't a precious thing to her best friend.
I alternated making sure the girls stayed occupied with quietly cleaning up the mess they'd created. I couldn't cover up all the damage, but living with dad these past few months had taught me to take care of all sorts of messes without attracting attention.
Hm! Feels bad man!
It'd fix something in C's head to be openly good at homemaking.
"It is a bit much," Mr. Brandt admitted, adjusting his glasses. My dad looked down on him for being a house husband but I'd always found him reassuring, a softer gentler balance to his wife's eagerness to leap headfirst into every noble cause. He was a little chubby, with a pleasant smile and an interest in cooking and gardening that everyone in the family enjoyed immensely.
Like this, C wants this vibe (if a
little to the left).
Temperance managed an hour of watching Starlight Princess Knight Orion fight against the forces of Despairo (empowered by the emptiness from between the stars) before she got bored. Inessa—and embarrassingly me—would have gone much longer; though Inessa's complaints that really Orion and her evil counterpart Lady Horizon made a better couple than Orion and Prince Sirius were growing increasingly loud by the end of our third episode. In retrospect, I wasn't quite sure how anyone, especially Inessa, could ever have been surprised by the fact that Inessa was gay.
That "the forces of Despairo (empowered by the emptiness from between the stars)" really do be the thoughts of someone who never got less obsessed with the nuances of a childhood show.
Inessa is hard displacing her crush on Lupin over her favorite ship without knowing she's actually aiming for the Enemies-to-Lovers too. Kek.
Temperance might have proved a problem, but I had a secret weapon. The promise of ice cream, conditional on her not biting anyone or breaking anything, managed to restrain Temperance for another delightful 47 minutes as her boredom compounded.
And that brought me to 11:33am. Inessa had managed to drift off on the couch. That made sense, they likely hadn't slept last night either. Despite that, Temperance was practically vibrating with excess energy.
Temperance the Over Indulgent Timebomb.
"So Temperance," I eyed the little terror carefully, "what do you want to do?"
"Well, big sis," the little girl smiled at me, "I think we should play dress up!"
Oh no. No. Nope. Disallowed. I refused! How, even reduced to the form of a child, could Temperance remain so monofocused when it came to me?
C should've been more afraid of the baby crush than the highschool senior crush.
"In the first place, I'm not a girl so I can't be a big sis."
Temperance thought that over for a moment, then shook her head furiously, "Nope! My partner said I can just decide for anyone to be a girl if I want to, so you're a girl."
Oh her partner huh.
For where Avaritia stands on Gula, just refer back to episode 7. Seriously, it was a pretty explicit part of her arc!
You think you're sooooooo fucking sly Shadell.
Feel like. Feel like Temperance is either mishearing the lesson ("I can be a girl if I decide so" to "Anyone's a girl if I decide so") or. You know. Wolf enbies maybe aren't responsible examples to take your perspective of consent from.
Somehow, Avaritia being enthusiastically supportive was far eerier and more threatening than her murderous rage. "Besides," she continued, heedless of my deer in the headlights look, "even if you try to resist, I'm a greedy greedy wolf and that means I take the things I want! And I want you to be my partner and figure yourself out and stop with the whole self-loathing thing and just relax and start indulging in all the cute stuff you've never been allowed to have. And once you're sorted we can show those pesky Saints that actually I'm doing great and I am not at all in the wrong here! Besides, our team is the best; you'll agree once you get it."
Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe.
"Y-your partner!?" H-had Temperance been that precocious?
She nodded, "My co-cons, co-con…" she struggled with the word, "Cocoon spirit bird!"
I managed to parse that more or less, if not as quickly as desired. "Your co-conspirator?"
"Right! My cocoon spirit bird! She always helps me with things and we do everything together and are going to change things someday! She said I, or anyone can be a girl if I want to, no matter what the adults say!"
. Ah.
It cut deep both ways huh.
Gluttony and Greed, up against the world...
It took me a second to process that. Had Temperance just outed herself as transgender? I felt a spike of guilt at inadvertently prying a secret out from her while she was like this. She didn't look anything like I expected a transgender person to look, not that I really had much of anything in the way of expectations really. And, I guess being so used to thinking about that kind of thing would make more sense that she'd miscategorize me so badly.
I buried a faint twinge of something at the thought that Temperance was just allowed to decide to be a girl, and then got to be pretty and got to transform herself. She was allowed to change herself, to become someone she wanted to be and also she got to grow up as a girl and become a hero while I was stuck here being useless old ugly me.
Someone looking at someone further ahead on the same path of self-actualization like "That could never be me" when it could be you buddy, that's the whole point of self-determination, if you take the steps it can be yours as well.
It's so fascinating that C holds all these things against Temperance (when Avaritia has inarguably done worse but gets a pass because it's less emotionally challenging C), literally someone opening her hand to share all these things, but only resentment that the grass can't be as green on your side of the fence.
"would make more sense that she'd miscategorize me so badly" C, pal of mine, you think Temperance grew up as a girl because you think everything she's talking about is restrained to her childhood instead of a cracked mixup of memory like with Inessa.
Anyway, love to have been calling this since chapter 3.
"I think she meant anyone else could decide they wanted to be a girl," I offered. Obviously it couldn't be that easy. You were trans or you weren't. I might have not known much about what it was like to actually be trans, but wanting wouldn't make you a girl trapped in a man's body. At the same time, there wasn't much sense arguing with a good friend temporarily turned back into a preteen, especially when that good friend had more experience than I ever would with that topic when she had her full facilities.
C's immovable certainty that obviously this whole gender identity thing is simple, to the point, and does not have anything to do with choice (if it would make C happy).
"Clearly my good friend knows better than me, except in the sense she thinks I can do whatever I want when I blatantly can't."
Temperance ran a hand through her weirdly short hair—had she been kept from growing it out until she was older—and shook her head, "Nah! She's my partner, and she said so, so I get to decide! And you feel like a big sis."
I sighed, Some things never changed, and in this Temperance was as stubborn as Ida.
"My partner said I have the ultimate gaydar!"
"You shouldn't...I mean, I guess you have the right to say that, but that's...The wrong term for this in..."
"Nope, my gaydar says I'm right!"
Temperance used to have so many emotions. What the hell happened to her.
"What about me looks like a big sis?" I tried, irritably.
She tilted her head to the side, surveying me, then she spoke with the confidence of a judge rendering a final verdict, "Soft skin! Fluffy hair! Big round eyes!"
I frowned. My skin was hardly what I'd call soft. On the hair front: Okay, sure it had been a little while since my last haircut, and I'd been noticing that it was getting unruly, but I'd just been too busy.
Oh Temperance has it down bad.
Amazing that we've had zero concept of C's actual appearance before Temperance spilled her spaghetti right here.
Literally just had to take C's word that it was terrible and awful.
See, this is good narrative irony through POV.
"It's true," Ida's marginally less tired voice interrupted my thoughts.
I blinked. It was about time to wake her, if we wanted to dodge answering any strange questions with her mom. But, somehow, Ida had managed to rouse herself and sneak up on me.
"Whatever skincare routine you've been doing is working really well," she added, flopping down onto the couch, "and the haircut suits you."
"Tch," Temperance pouted with the reluctance of a thief who'd just found her mark well guarded.
"I, uh," I answered lamely. I had no idea what everyone was on about, "thanks I guess."
And now I was blushing. Why was I blushing over being told my skin was soft!?
FUNNY.
Temperance: Oh no, the big sis who doesn't
know jack is here. [She says, as Ida agrees with her statement]
I took a deep breath and held it for several seconds, doing my best not to think about what anyone might say. It was a dumb impulse. Nothing would come of it. I didn't have it in me to shine like any of them. I remembered how good the dream felt and I had to try.
"I was just wondering if-"
The door swung open abruptly, startling all of us. Michael flopped into my arms, pretending to be an ordinary doll.
"Hi guys!" a tired but upbeat Ida greeted us, drawing a sigh from Temperance and a warm hello from Inessa.
She shut the door behind her and made her way to an empty desk.
"Finish explaining things to C?" she asked curiously.
"Almost," Temperance informed her with mildly more frost than usual, "they were just about to ask a question."
"Right, what's up?"
Holding such a grudge for this.
The layers to Ida just vibing with the surface dialogue while missing the whole egg subtext everyone else is at war over is hysterical.
Literally will remain oblivious until someone actually bothers to tell her.
"Anyway," Ida glanced toward Inessa's sleeping form, "I wanted to say, thanks. For earlier that is. I really needed that nap, it's just..."
"Just?"
"I like to be reliable, you know? It felt good when Michael told me I was qualified to be Diligentia. Like, even the world was acknowledging my hard work. It's hard to realize I need to be the one relying on others sometimes. So, umm, thanks for just taking over earlier. I needed that nap! But now," she grinned, "We can show that monster exactly why it shouldn't mess with us!"
Ida experiencing the power up that is a 2 hour nap is awe-inspiring.
"Ida," I offered somberly as I looked at my phone screen, "It's 11:45 and the monster won't show its face until sunset."
"Look!" she flailed. I wasn't used to a flustered Ida. When she wasn't working herself to the grave, she was the voice of reason between Inessa's general uselesness and Temperance's monotone snark. "It's one of those big inspirational speeches that you're always supposed to do before a game! Just go along with it, okay?"
"Okay. If it helps you fight, then it won't stand a chance."
"Better," Ida nodded.
Buffoons.
I like how this chapter has really been about C and Ida learning how to be friends, and a big part of that is allowing yourself to be embarrassing.
"So I don't get to put big sis in a dress," Temperance said sadly.
"No!" I protested immediately, as if the words were a burning iron. "Where would you even find one?"
"You're not much bigger than mom," Ida offered, then clamped a hand over her mouth. "I mean," Ida clarified, "you shouldn't make C do things that make him uncomfortable, young lady!"
Naturally that Social Link Rank Up comes with boosted instinct towards shoving C into a dress.
C is steadily losing the last Anti-Temperance Defensive Measure and it's literally Ida starting to intuit what makes her friend happy.
"W-weren't we planning on getting out of here before your mom comes home anyway? Besides, I promised Temperance ice-cream if she was good, so I was thinking we could try spending the afternoon in the park. I can text Inessa's family and tell them she snuck over pretty early to work on, I don't know a surprise for you or something, but we probably can't get away with having them at anyone's house…" Inessa was an early riser, and her magical girl duties often led to her coming home late, so her parents couldn't be that worried about her yet, but it was better to get our stories straight.
"Actually," Ida said tentatively, "That sounds great, but do you think you and Michael could watch them alone?"
"Going to grab some more sleep?"
"W-well, I really shouldn't skip lacrosse practice, and if I'm going, I should at least try to get to school for as much of the day as I should."
I stared at Ida in mute horror. She harrumphed.
Never Ending Battle Against This Bitch's Work Ethic.
C: What's the point of taking a break from school after monster attacks, I'm just gonna be kidnapped tomorrow.
Ida: If I miss out on keeping a single promise I'm gonna blow myself up.
"Actually," I offered tentatively, "I'm a bit worried about losing them. You know, or something. Especially if we're going out. Inessa is one thing, but Temperance is, well." I pointed to the blue haired menace, who had taken advantage of our distraction to chase a half-asleep Inessa around the apartment.
Ida hesitated, "I guess missing one day is okay. We can just study more to make up for later, Still, I did promise to be at practice."
For all she'd slept a little, Ida's gaze kept wandering longingly toward her bed and her steps were still a little unsteady.
Shoulder Devil vs Shoulder Angel (you'll never guess which is which).
"If you don't really rest up, you're not going to be able to fight tonight, so maybe just come with us to the park and relax a little?"
She hesitated, clearly drawn to the offer, then shook her head.
"I have responsibilities. I need to stay diligent! Besides, how can I be at my best if I don't practice?"
I sighed, "Practice is good and all, but if you just keep pushing yourself as hard as you can go, then what happens when something goes wrong? When you need to have a little more time or space or energy and you've already been working yourself to the bone? You'll have nothing extra to throw at an unexpected problem."
You know it's interesting this is the exact topic when—
The walk toward Ida's house was agonizing. I wanted to sprint, but arriving without any stamina left wouldn't have helped anyone. So I alternated between jogging and power walking, worrying and wishing I owned at least a bike all the while.
I couldn't help but count the minutes. It took 19 of them to find myself, tired but functional, pawing at the fancy digital intercom at the entrance to Ida's building.
—This is how C rode in for the rescue at the beginning of the chapter.
C is really good at giving people just the right advice they need, but not a single lightbulb is switched on when it comes to that being a meaningfully actionable skill that deserves respect (from C, personally).
Sometimes you need to be an easily exhausted beanpole to talk sense.
The diligent Ida glanced away, "Obviously you need to look after your health. But when things get hard, you just dig deeper and find it in you if it really matters!"
On the one hand, Ida was genuinely amazing. She got good grades, participated in multiple sports and helped out everywhere else. On the other hand, a stray breeze could knock her over right now and honestly, it seemed like I was more likely to lose track of her than Temperance if I had to keep herding them all.
Sometimes Sloth can be a dedicated refusal to stop and take care of yourself.
Lupin tries to get Ida to embrace sloth, is shocked speechless when the other saints join her and welcome her to the endless fight to stop Ida from suffering burnout.
Unfortunately, Avaritia has to claim second place among the Beasts joined to the endless fight to stop Ida from suffering burnout.
"Anyway," I didn't have the strength or standing to argue with a genuine magical girl, "We should get out of here before your mom comes back. I managed to get things mostly cleaned up while you were napping, and we can figure this out after we get these little hellions," I did my best to gently remove Inessa's ponytail from Temperance's mouth and soothe the shy little redhead, "to the park where they can run through whatever energy they've got before you go fight."
Ida sighed, "I guess we should and, umm… Thanks for cleaning up and taking over for a bit? Really C, you're a life-saver."
I beamed, "I barely did anything, really!"
C for once in your life take an actual compliment instead of resenting people for never complimenting you.
The day was beautiful and sunny and unseasonably warm for the season, if still a bit too cold to be perfect park weather. Michael was safely hidden inside Ida's backpack. I didn't anticipate that Temperance would actually want ice-cream after realizing how cold it was outside, but the small girl was firmly insistent that she had been promised, so we stopped at a little cafe by the park for lunch.
The burgers were mediocre, but watching Temperance devour her ice-cream and proceed to cajole away half of Inessa's made for an amusing sight.
Littlest glutton.
Temperance's tyke brain is remembering that Inessa stole food from the maws of the shark and that crime needs to be punished.
"So, there's a playground near here," I offered Ida, "it's a bit cold for it, but I figure if we let them run around enough it'll be a lot easier to get through till evening and it could give you more time to rest."
She glared at me, "I'm fine. I don't need to be coddled."
"Sorry," I looked away first, "But… can I ask why you're so upset at the idea that you might need to rest like anyone else?"
Ida frowned, "I'm not against rest! You're as bad as Inessa and Temperance!"
"And Michael?" I asked with only the faintest hint of sarcasm.
"Yes! And she's usually telling them they need to spend more time practicing or patrolling."
"Ida, you're saying that literally everyone is telling you to slow down."
She had the grace to blush at that, and it was her turn to back down.
Owned and Quartered.
Everyone raising their hands for the spirit bomb energy to make their emotional support jock take a goddamn nap.
"I," she hesitated, "I mentioned before that Michael said I wasn't qualified at first. Inessa was the first and Temperance is special, but I had to work to prove I was good enough to help. It made sense to me that Michael would say I wasn't worthy," she shrugged. "I'm not bad, but I'm hardly special. I just pushed through and kept helping. Inessa helped me get into shape, and I guess that's how I won her approval in the end."
I didn't know what to say, and so simply waited for Ida to find the right words.
Oh, and Temperance is
special, huh.
C listening to Ida bleed her heart out about her personal sense of inadequacy: And this definitely only applies to Ida, surely.
Ida is. REALLY interesting. Genuinely just desperate to prove herself with everything she does, never satisfied with where she's gotten because it's only "just" enough to break even.
Doesn't even know how she actually managed to make the cut, and the fact she relied on Inessa's support...They really are good friends, huh? We don't see it much since it's mostly the focus of the hypothetical anime this is a sidestory to, but Inessa lifts people up.
Adds something interesting to Ida being the main opinion against C helping the Saints, probably because she doesn't think, C owes it to anyone to prove something.
"I… I'm not talented," she said at last, "I can't keep up with Inessa or Temperance, or hey, even you, at the things you're good at. I definitely couldn't take a schedule like yours and miss a third of the year getting beaten up by monsters and then still have basically okay grades. This whole fighting evil thing? It's not like the others. It doesn't come naturally. And basketball? Lacrosse? There are so many girls there that have more natural talent than me."
"Ida…" I wasn't quite sure what to say to that.
"So that's why I need to keep pushing myself," she concluded. There was, I thought, a hint of guilt in her voice. She knew everyone else's concern wasn't so strange or unreasonable, no matter how she acted, and she pushed through anyway.
LOOK AT THIS.
LOOK AT THIS SELF-RECOGNITION THROUGH OTHER SHIT THAT IS
NOT HAPPENING.
"I think you're pretty amazing actually," I admitted. "To be honest! I can barely work up the energy to get out of bed most days, much less keep throwing myself into things like you can. And, you were chosen to be a magical girl. You made all those teams. You throw yourself into everything and give your all and it works out. You shouldn't sell yourself short."
She shook her head, but she was smiling faintly, "That's only because I work harder! I practice more; I train more. And I've gotten better than all of them. I study every day and it works out in the end. I've learned to be a magical girl even if it doesn't just click for me like it does for Inessa or Temperance."
I'd never, in a thousand years, have thought I'd look into Ida's face and see even a shard of something like my own fears. Except, where I gave up, stopped trying and simply fell into hating myself, Ida kept moving forward. Was it any wonder she'd start to fear taking a break? She, unlike me, actually did things. She was the productive one, the one who deserved to rest, who needed it. Who was I to challenge that conclusion?
C will look at a plasma screen mirror and go "It's too bad that's forever beyond me by the base state of my nature."
It's incredible, Ida literally says "I can't believe you actually handle school as well as you do with all you go through" and C's just waving it off like "Oh well I feel tired all the time, so your thing's more impressive," the actual fucking.
We sat in awkward silence until the waiter came by and I welcomed the distraction to pay.
Only as we shepherded the kids down the sidewalk toward the park did I speak. I still didn't know how to answer her. But, saying nothing would only hurt even more.
"You don't need to be good enough to belong," I found myself saying. It was the kind of thing that should be true, but often wasn't in the end. It was still what Ida needed to hear. "Your friends aren't friends with you because you meet some standard as a person. You're all still friends with me and I'm basically useless at everything! But, if you get hurt while over-training yourself, you're just going to worry everyone. Believe me Ida, I wish I had a tenth the willpower you do, but you need to balance yourself when people depend on you! That's a part of hard work too, knowing when to hold yourself back so you have more later."
She thought it over for a while, and I was worried she was going to keep fighting, before she sighed.
"Inessa is right. You really are the wise one, you know? I guess I can take it easy just this once. But, I'm trashing that Resinner tonight!"
"It was the kind of thing that should be true, but often wasn't in the end." it is true for you. You moron. You buffoon.
It's amazing how much C's good advice is built on some stupidass self-representation.
She stomped loudly on the sidewalk, startling Inessa and drawing the attention of a few other pedestrians. Ida sheepishly ducked into the booth and I had to force down a laugh.
Ida's just a funny guy to me.
"Thanks. I mean it," she smiled at me. "You know, if you want to impress Michael, I'm sure we could figure out a good practice regime for you!"
I thought about it. It was a kind offer, and one that I wouldn't have imagined Ida making even a day ago. But I wasn't the saint of diligence. Ida might laugh about how she wasn't chosen, but wasn't the will to push through and keep going its own way of being special in the end?
Ida is so earnest.
She has no idea what made her and C count as unsuitable, but god is she earnest.
Literally. C. You just have to try. You JUST have to try being the kind of person you think a Saint should be.
That's it.
He held something up to the sky: a large black seed about the size of a finger. "Behold! the Seed of Luxuria!"
I tried to break and run past Avaritia. No matter how useless, there was no way I was going to let them turn me into fertilizer.
Naturally, it took her all of a second to sweep my legs out from under me, then grab my arm and drag me to my feet, twisting it behind my back as she held me up to face Superbia Dragon.
"I can forgive your disrespect in light of your unfamiliarity to our cause, but I assure you that you'll appreciate this in time Charleton," even now I winced at the name. I didn't even let dad call me that. Everything else he'd down was disturbing in the worst ways and somehow that pushed it over the line. What kind of terrifying magic had let this guy pass as anything but an absolute creep?
The seed floated up from his hand, bleeding darkness into the throne room as it floated slowly toward me. I struggled with everything I had, but couldn't escape Avaritia's vice-like grip. She seemed all too glad to see me suffer.
Slowly it crossed the distance, pausing ominously in front of my forehead for just a moment.
I screamed, I begged. Neither Superbia nor Avaritia nor the seed paid my pleas the slightest attention.
With a crack, the seed shot at me. Then it thudded painfully against my head and bounced to the ground where it rolled harmlessly to the side.
I gave up following Avaritia's words around the fifth time she said want.
"O-okay, so you're going to stick one of those seeds in me then?" I couldn't afford to be passive, and I couldn't stand against Avaritia. However much they'd inexplicably decided they actually liked me, he could still crush me like a bug. I had to outthink her here, "So I guess you should go get it and I can wait. I'm not sold on joining you or anything of course, but I don't have a choice so we may as well get it all over with and," I spoke a little more honestly than I wanted to admit, "if it actually can help me get past whatever this is, I'm willing to try most anything."
If she thought I was resigned, and left me alone, I could try to run or hide while they went to grab the seed. It wasn't a great plan, but it was the best I had.
Naturally, it immediately crashed and burned as Avaritia snapped her fingers and a dark green seed that looked just like Luxuria appeared in the air between us.
"No need to wait! We're in the Forest and Sin is fond of its beasts. The seeds are only ever a moment away!"
I had just enough time to regret my chosen plan before she grabbed the seed out of the air and slammed it into my chest with what had to be all the force he could muster.
Genuinely, the way becoming a Saint has to come with so much resolve and active choice, while being a Beast is just. You get a Seed jammed in if you're screaming or half-hearted.
It's good essential foiling.
We managed to make our way to the playground after plying Temperance with a few more treats. I would have been worried we were indulging her too much—particularly after Temperance announced that this was 'revenge on her big-self for being an idiot'—if this wasn't temporary and Temperance wasn't about to return to normal once Ida won her fight.
Temperance holding back a tummy ache: Trust no bitch not even your own bitch.
Wonder what exactly the ten year old thinks the seventeen year old is an idiot about.
From there, we let the kids play; only slightly at Inessa's expense. I joined in for as long as I could, Ida spent a lot of the time resting on a bench before joining them for a game of tag.
For whatever reason my brain says Ida has a lot of dad energy for this.
And then, with Inessa and Temperance gently dozing off on a park bench, Angelic Saint Diligentia and the Archangel Michael marched off into the sunset to hunt a monster while I waited and watched the moonrise.
It was a crisp night, and the kids had cuddled up to each other for warmth before Inessa had slumped over in sleep and landed in my lap. I'd laid my own jacket over them; it wasn't so cold that I couldn't bear it, and the crisp winter air helped me stay focused as I waited for any sign of DIligentia's victory.
I hated that I couldn't join in. I hated that I couldn't help in a more meaningful way. But, getting to talk Ida through her worries had been something. She had reached out and she had trusted me and, I hoped, she would find the strength to rely on others, for all she was fighting alone right then.
I gently ran a hand through Inessa's hair and I counted the stars. I had, for once, done my part, and now I had nothing else to do but hope and for once that didn't feel so impossible.
Such an energy to this moment.
Waiting and hoping for your friends to be saved from the monster of your own creation.
And then, without any fanfare or pageantry, it was over. Both Inessa and Temperance were enveloped in a soft shimmering glow and began to stretch, returning to their normal sizes. I let out the breath I'd been holding as Inessa stirred and adjusted her top which had, thankfully, changed back with her.
I smiled to myself, glad to see that they were okay. Sure, I wished I could have helped Ida with the important part. Then I shook them awake. I wasn't sure about Temperance's home situation, but Inessa's family would absolutely be worrying and we had to get our story straight.
One day C will understand that helping with feelings
was the important part.
Literally in the sense that monster of the week episodes are all about that character development.
You taunt us so much with the logistical questions of where Miss Atwater even is half the time.
NEXT WEEK ON SHINING VIRTUE ANGELIC HEART!!!
Temperance decides to attend a concert to spend some time alone exploring more of Earth's culture. Watching the duo perform makes Temperance wonder if she made the right choice. But, what's this?! A Beast attack threatens to spell lights out for the show unless the Saints can come together to save the day.
Tune in for Episode 19: Shining! On Stage! Kopier Kat Got your Tongue?
Look at this shit.
We're not even trying by this point.
"Kopier Kat" huh? That seems pretty suggestive of a certain someone's read:
Gahhh! Curse you dreamlike wind! I wanted to know what the fight banter was! Anyway yet another great chapter, thanks for sharing it with us! I shall wait with baited breath for more.
Also I've seen speculation on what animal C has in her Beast mode name, I still maintain she's some kind of Catgirl and I have a good reason for it. What do her envy powers make her in relation to Inessa? A copy-CAT! It makes too much sense!
But that's not the name a proper Invidia X would use, and the Double-K switch makes it feel like a proper gimmick Resinner name instead of the full fledged Beast, so could it be a ruse?
Speaking of Madoka, I think what's most interesting to me about it these days is that it's not really a magical girl show. That is, the main character spends approximately none of the show as a magical girl. It is, instead, a show about becoming a magical girl and the weight that can have. That is, where most shows in the genre make the choice to be a hero something a stumbling block to get over, Madoka isn't afraid to make that decision the entire cornerstone of its narrative.
And, err, 7 chapter in with no sign of C wearing a skirt outside a dream, I can admit that, while I don't want to quite copy that structure, that Madoka is definitely a source that gave me some structural inspiration inspiration for this project, even if I don't want to engage with Madoka's particular themes or motifs in this work in any substantial way.
Assigned Meguca To Self, Reluctantly.
This chapter rocked Shadell, had a load of fun.
