Well, I'm pretty sure PMMM was itself targeted at the demographic of "adults who watch magical girl shows or grew up watching them," because deconstruction as an art form doesn't work very well for an audience of children. The children haven't had enough life experience to build up expectations, and the tropes are all new and fresh to them.
Except for the fact that madoka's basic structure isn't at all a deconstruction of genre norms, and is in fact a fairly typical magical girl narrative that reaffirms the basic underpinnings of the genre upon closer examination. at the end of the day, the plot conflict is resolved because of homura's care for madoka, and madoka's care for the people around her, and homura's deliberate self-isolation is pretty clearly framed as maladaptive and ultimately unproductive. madoka's feelings of love and friendship enable her to overcome an oppressive, inhuman system.
unless you mean 'deconstruction' in the sense of 'this show is dark when i did not expect it to be dark based on my very limited grasp of the norms of this genre'. That is to say, I agree with Theaxofwar.
Except for the fact that madoka's basic structure isn't at all a deconstruction of genre norms, and is in fact a fairly typical magical girl narrative that reaffirms the basic underpinnings of the genre upon closer examination. at the end of the day, the plot conflict is resolved because of homura's care for madoka, and madoka's care for the people around her, and homura's deliberate self-isolation is pretty clearly framed as maladaptive and ultimately unproductive. madoka's feelings of love and friendship enable her to overcome an oppressive, inhuman system.
unless you mean 'deconstruction' in the sense of 'this show is dark when i did not expect it to be dark based on my very limited grasp of the norms of this genre'. That is to say, I agree with Theaxofwar.
To clarify things, I want to begin with my perception that Kyubey is something of a deconstruction of the concept of the mascot. In that whereas traditionally the mascot is sincerely trying to help and is empowering and non-evil, Kyubey is manipulative and empowers girls only in ways that will doom them for the benefit of the Incubators.
Because the context of the original conversation was basically "mascots are terrible for recruiting magical girls as child soldiers" and I was thinking pretty firmly in those terms. Thus, Kyubey in particular might be a good example of a deconstruction of mascots even if Puella Magi in general is not a deconstruction of the genre as a whole.
However, I probably got sloppy with my language in trying to express this, it wouldn't be the first time, so I'm sure you had excellent reason to upbraid me over all this, I'm very limited, yes, yes.
I feel like the question of whether Michael is trustworthy or not, and more broadly arguing about the deconstruction (or not) status of this magical girls story is misapprehending the focus. Ultimately speaking, at least thus far, A Little Vice is not a narrative that seeks to comment on the magical girls genre, but rather one that uses a very conventional form of it to provide a backdrop for an egg narrative. The story needs not to be particularly concerned with the magical girls' genre relationship to itself, but rather focuses on the way that trans girls can relate to said genre, conventional as it may be.
In some ways a better point of comparison than PMMM or Sailor Moon would be Megan Milks' Margaret and the Mystery of the Missing Body, which is a novel that utilizes a very conventional (at least at the start) female coming-of-age/school drama story as a backdrop for a narrative of bodily dysphoria and gender troubles.
I feel like the question of whether Michael is trustworthy or not, and more broadly arguing about the deconstruction (or not) status of this magical girls story is misapprehending the focus. Ultimately speaking, at least thus far, A Little Vice is not a narrative that seeks to comment on the magical girls genre, but rather one that uses a very conventional form of it to provide a backdrop for an egg narrative. The story needs not to be particularly concerned with the magical girls' genre relationship to itself, but rather focuses on the way that trans girls can relate to said genre, conventional as it may be.
In some ways a better point of comparison than PMMM or Sailor Moon would be Megan Milks' Margaret and the Mystery of the Missing Body, which is a novel that utilizes a very conventional (at least at the start) female coming-of-age/school drama story as a backdrop for a narrative of bodily dysphoria and gender troubles.
I would also compare it to Fate Testarossa from Nanoha, albeit for different reasons. Fundamentally, Charlie is a perfect fit for the classical dark magical girl. Regular magical girls draw on the power of friendship, but dark magical girls are isolated and vulnerable to corruptive influences as a result. "She's not evil, she's just lonely!" Charlie's isolation is somewhat self-inflicted, but that not uncommon for the archetype, which is why the magical girl usually has to fight the dark magical girl a few times before the heel-face turn can happen.
Huh, there seems to have been a whole spinoff of discourse since I last checked in, but mostly settled now. I think I'll give my own swing at the topic, short and to the point.
This is how Michael and Superbia treat bystanders who have gotten wrapped up in their war:
Finally Inessa pulled out a small angel plushie, perhaps six inches tall, and placed it on a desk next to our books.
"Allow me to introduce Michael!" she said with a flourish. The plushie tilted its head to the side, then nodded at me.
"Greetings mortal," it—she—said with an imperious tone entirely at odds with her mildly squished exterior.
Her hair was long and golden, though made out of a thick yarn-like fabric. Her halo, a golden ring that looked far tackier than the Saints' was visibly attached to her head with a pipe cleaner, and her hands had no distinct fingers beyond those that seemed to be drawn on in sharpie. Her eyes were shockingly deep red gems and her wings, for all they seemed to be made of cloth and fluff, fluttered with a decidedly lifelike grace.
"Umm, hi?" I stared awkwardly for a few moments, struggling to find the words to ask a sapient plushie that was allegedly an archangel, "Inessa just keeps you in her backpack all day?"
The plushie nodded, "It matters little where this vessel rests. Though," Michael glanced at Inessa, "It would be preferable were I not to be crushed by textbooks."
"Inessa!" I couldn't believe she would do that to a poor innocent plushie.
"Umm, oops." Inessa bopped herself on the head, "Sorry about that."
"Your consideration is appreciated," said the angel, "but truly it is we who owe you an apology for causing you to get caught up in this conflict."
"That's," I hesitated, "I should be the ones thanking you for saving me all the time. You're the ones that…" I wasn't sure what to say. I simply owed them too much.
My good mood lasted most of the—thankfully monster free—school day, up until shortly before my last period appointment with the school's guidance counselor.
I was missing too much school as it was. But no, instead of enjoying Friday afternoon AP Macroeconomics, I had to be sitting on a couch in Mr. Noir's small office. The bespeckled man carefully lit an incense stick then took a seat across from me. He was tall, in a kind of reedy way that made it seem like there was more suit than man there, with sickly gray skin and a smile that didn't quite reach his sunken eyes.
"So," he pinched out the match, "what can I do for you today Charleton."
I hated him instantly.
"Everyone just calls me Charlie," I tried not to let my irritation show. I had an objectively terrible name and the less I heard it the better.
"Ah," he shook his head, "You know there's a great power in names. Charleton, that's a good name. Rare, a bit old-fashioned, serious. Too few appreciate that kind of thing," his voice was shrill and crackly, like the static between radio channels.
I bit my lip and tried to let it go. It wasn't his fault that I'd been on edge for weeks, or that I desperately didn't want to be here, and taking it out on the innocent guidance counselor wouldn't be fair, no matter how weird he was being.
"Everyone says it sounds like Charlatan, so I go by Charlie," well, people might have said that if I had social interactions with anyone my own age that wasn't Inessa or her friends.
He nodded sadly, "A shame, well, children. I suppose it can't be helped. So Charlie," he hesitated on the name, as if he found it distasteful. "What brings you here today? Or just wanted an excuse to skip out of sixth period?"
I shook my head vehemently, "the nurse made me. I've missed too much class as it is. I have to study extra just to stay on top of things with the way everything's been going."
He nodded sadly and jotted something down, "Terrible, and why is that? Trouble at home?"
I shook my head, "My dad's fine," that was more or less true. Neither of us respected the other much at this point and I couldn't remember the last time we had had a pleasant conversation, but he wasn't a monster or anything. He kept a roof over our heads and food in the pantry. "I've just ended up getting wrapped up in a lot of these monster attacks."
Mr. Noir paused at that for a moment, staring at me deeply, as if really looking at me for the first time, before breaking into a wide grin. He didn't say anything else until just before I reached the point where I could no longer endure his silent judgment.
Michael stared at me. Deeply, I looked into the gemstones that served as her eyes and I saw, if only for a moment, what struck me as an unfathomably ancient kindness carrying wisdom I would never fully understand.
Then the moment passed.
"I'm sorry," Michael looked away first.
"Oh," I said, struggling to smile. If I didn't look hurt, no one was allowed to feel bad and it was silly to have wanted in the first place.
"Your desire to help is true, and you have the potential, but.." the angel considered me for a long moment as if deciding whether to say something, "you are not qualified."
"You see, when you kept getting attacked by monsters it was plain to me that they were drawn to you because of the great potential hiding in you. When we met, I was able to confirm your potential and verify the presence of a satisfactory darkness in your heart. It was just a matter of divining its form in its nascent state—lust of course—and drawing enough out to the surface that you would be a qualified vessel for this!"
He held something up to the sky: a large black seed about the size of a finger. "Behold! the Seed of Luxuria!"
I tried to break and run past Avaritia. No matter how useless, there was no way I was going to let them turn me into fertilizer.
Naturally, it took her all of a second to sweep my legs out from under me, then grab my arm and drag me to my feet, twisting it behind my back as she held me up to face Superbia Dragon.
"I can forgive your disrespect in light of your unfamiliarity to our cause, but I assure you that you'll appreciate this in time Charleton," even now I winced at the name. I didn't even let dad call me that. Everything else he'd down was disturbing in the worst ways and somehow that pushed it over the line. What kind of terrifying magic had let this guy pass as anything but an absolute creep?
The seed floated up from his hand, bleeding darkness into the throne room as it floated slowly toward me. I struggled with everything I had, but couldn't escape Avaritia's vice-like grip. She seemed all too glad to see me suffer.
Slowly it crossed the distance, pausing ominously in front of my forehead for just a moment.
I screamed, I begged. Neither Superbia nor Avaritia nor the seed paid my pleas the slightest attention.
With a crack, the seed shot at me. Then it thudded painfully against my head and bounced to the ground where it rolled harmlessly to the side.
For one agonizingly long moment all three of us stood there in silence.
"Was that supposed to happen?" I asked awkwardly.
The scathing look Superbia sent my way provided a strong indication that no, that was not supposed to happen, and also that it was probably my fault. That would show him for having expected anything from me.
"Obviously our estimations of his readiness were premature. No matter, my plan is perfect and he shall come to harbor Luxuria in due time."
For my part, I did my best to smile and offer whatever vague support I could muster when an increasingly anxious Inessa started wondering loudly about what hypothetical people should do if they'd said something mean to a trusted companion. And I managed to find a justification to make everyone split up when the whole group got trapped in the maze that "Winter Rose" created.
Inessa had clearly been panicking about finding a place to transform in secret. Even if I couldn't really do anything to help the Saints, I could at least give them that much cover and act oblivious once they'd returned, flushed from victory.
"Honestly," Ida muttered as we made our way out of the garden, "boys!"
I tried to hide in my winter coat, suddenly extremely cognizant of how out of place I was among an otherwise all-girl friend group.
"Not you, C you're, like, the exception! You would never even think of quintuple timing those poor girls like that," Inessa clarified, looking equally steamed despite the cold January air. "Well, at least I was able to make up with Micha…"
Temperance swatted at Inessa's shoulder and gave her a pointed look. Far, far too late, Inessa clamped a hand over her mouth to avoid mentioning anything more about "Michael." I had no idea who or what they were; but Inessa accidentally mentioned them enough that I was sure they were connected to the whole magical girl thing.
Finally Inessa pulled out a small angel plushie, perhaps six inches tall, and placed it on a desk next to our books.
"Allow me to introduce Michael!" she said with a flourish. The plushie tilted its head to the side, then nodded at me.
"Greetings mortal," it—she—said with an imperious tone entirely at odds with her mildly squished exterior.
Her hair was long and golden, though made out of a thick yarn-like fabric. Her halo, a golden ring that looked far tackier than the Saints' was visibly attached to her head with a pipe cleaner, and her hands had no distinct fingers beyond those that seemed to be drawn on in sharpie. Her eyes were shockingly deep red gems and her wings, for all they seemed to be made of cloth and fluff, fluttered with a decidedly lifelike grace.
"Umm, hi?" I stared awkwardly for a few moments, struggling to find the words to ask a sapient plushie that was allegedly an archangel, "Inessa just keeps you in her backpack all day?"
The plushie nodded, "It matters little where this vessel rests. Though," Michael glanced at Inessa, "It would be preferable were I not to be crushed by textbooks."
"Inessa!" I couldn't believe she would do that to a poor innocent plushie.
"Umm, oops." Inessa bopped herself on the head, "Sorry about that."
"Run!" I shouted desperately, "I don't know why they captured us, but it can't be good. I'll hold her off! There has to be a way for you to escape."
I failed to budge Avaritia, who mostly ignored the attempt. For a moment, she looked more surprised than offended. Then she doubled over laughing.
Mr. Noir, for his part, looked mildly offended, "I assure you Charleton," he said, with a disapproving glare at the greedy wolf, "that I have no need to run! For I!" he paused dramatically, "Am the master of this domain!"
"What," I shook my head, "Look, this is no time for jokes! You need to run while she's distracted!"
Mr. Noir shook his head, "I suppose your loyalty is admirable, if not your intellect."
Behind us, Avaritia finally got herself under control, only to break out into giggles again at Mr. Noir's aside.
Then he raised a hand; the light took him and Avaritia's laughter died.
"Avaritia Wolf," the girl dropped to one knee, leaving me unguarded. I wasn't brave or impulsive enough to take the chance to run, "this is your fault for grabbing him before he was ready. Push him over the edge and I will allow this mistake to go unpunished."
She froze, cold sweat visible on her brow, and lowered her head. "As you command Lord Superbia." I wondered how much worse he must have been to her than me if the fierce wolf who happily fought three against one with Inessa, Temperance and Ida was so terrified of disobedience.
"But, like, let's take a step back." she said, "I'm Avaritia Wolf, any pronouns."
"Oh no!" I flailed, "Everyone's been misgendering them? Him? Uh, You, right that's how it works. It's still 'you' when I'm talking to you and, umm, sorry!"
They laughed and patted me on the head, "No worries. I said any so I mean any and that means she is fine. I mean, honestly, I've been liking the idea of trying out Spivak a lot lately" I had no clue what that word meant, "But, well, Superbia's himself and you gotta be careful how you talk to him. And coming out as an enbie would be hard while, you know, just saying that 'oooh, look at me I am soooo greedy. I have to have alllllll the pronouns all to myself, how strange the nature of sin' is pretty easy, and he will absolutely roll with basically anything you justify like that."
"That's awful," I winced, wondering what it would be like to be unable to tell your closest companions who you really were. If Gula was gone (I wasn't going to think about what that might mean just now) I could see why Avaritia craved a friend so badly. Her only remaining companionship was a superior who bossed her around and yelled at him all the time and didn't even accept them for themself.
"Nah, it works out in the end, he's totally chill with basically anything you can justify under feeding your sin. Like, with you, when you turn into a girl, we'll just lie and say you were so overcome by the inertia to fit in that you turned into one of them as completely as possible, and need to use she/her pronouns to affirm your sin or something. He'll get confused and have a boomer moment and then shrug and go along with it."
Whatever power or leverage Michael even has, she's nothing but courteous and tolerant with everyone she talks to, while the single person actually in Superbia's corner is more frightened of him than any of the Abyssal Forest's enemies.
You'll make note of that even in their leadership styles, Michael doesn't hesitate to provide essential information when asked, let's the Saints discuss between themselves how they want to integrate C going forward, and only makes a judgement call on what's explicitly her wheelhouse (qualifying for the role of an Angelic Saint), whereas Superbia forces Avaritia to recruit someone ey hate (because of his own misunderstanding) and leave em to do all the work in unfucking his fumble of the century right under his nose.
Sometimes you have to look past the genre trends of magical girl anime before/after Madoka and the JRPG staple of tearing apart angels on the road to attack and dethrone an unjust god to see that the side that respects people's choices and isn't deathly afraid of offering their real opinion to their boss are probably the good guys.
Listen, sufficient velocity makes it very easy to break down story posts piece by piece to dissect and analyze their comparisons to other micro sections, what am I supposed to do, not write commentary that equals the update's wordcount in a single go?
Yeah. C's certainty that she can only hurt and impede her friends is almost certainly going to be what makes her actually hurt them.
Well...also the dark magic. But that's a secondary factor.
Honestly with the context of Ida hitting that qualifier before, I think it's literally that Michael knows it isn't really, Great to hear that, but also she's compelled to be honest and doesn't know what information will make it hurt less, so she sticks to the most concise and neutral explanation.
Michael stared at me. Deeply, I looked into the gemstones that served as her eyes and I saw, if only for a moment, what struck me as an unfathomably ancient kindness carrying wisdom I would never fully understand.
Then the moment passed.
"I'm sorry," Michael looked away first.
"Oh," I said, struggling to smile. If I didn't look hurt, no one was allowed to feel bad and it was silly to have wanted in the first place.
"Your desire to help is true, and you have the potential, but.." the angel considered me for a long moment as if deciding whether to say something, "you are not qualified."
I forced a laugh; though I was the only one to react that way. I wanted to run and hide and find somewhere to not cry—boys don't do that and it would have been ridiculous to cry about not getting to be a magical hero of which there were only a few exceptional people. Besides, the last time I'd run away from a well-meaning friend, it had ended pretty badly and it had barely been a few days since then. I couldn't be that pathetic, could I?
"No, that makes total sense," I said as blasély as I could. Ida grimaced and even Temperance looked a bit taken aback. "Sorry, I guess helping was a bit of a silly idea, huh? Let's just pretend I didn't say anything. It'd just get me kidnapped again immediately anyway."
Inessa shot Ida a glare and gave my arm a comforting squeeze, "No, Ida's the one being silly here! Honestly, we barely have the time to think half the time, and having another friend to help, however they can, would be great!"
"A-anyway," I realized I was dragging the nails of one hand across my other arm and forced myself to stop, "About the kidnapping. Avaritia dragged me into this strange palace area and then Mr. Noir was there and he turned into a dragon. I think he had some kind of brainwashing incense that…"
I wasn't sure what to say. I was obviously rushing through the actual point of the meeting, but I just needed to escape.
I think whatever is happening to C is what happens to people who aren't ready for the transformation. Michael probably thought that she couldn't help with whatever issues C is having, instead letting the team help her. Something to note is that the whole thing doesn't seem that dangerous, fighting to the death is far from Inessa's mind. Michael can afford to wait it out and let people close to C help. Superbia is the only actual threat, and he is away now.
See, Lamp gets it, the fact Ida is explicitly the deuteragonist of the Real Deal Actual Anime and is in fact currently Diligentia after being marked as invalid by the same criteria means C is in no way being read as damaged goods, it's just that C is, C, and thus will ignore most every data point that doesn't validate the "worst person ever in the world" complex.
The fact he was willing to have someone like the person he thought C was in the team is quite telling. He made Avaritia think he's fighting against the establishment but he's the worst parts holding on.
Literally the fact Avaritia found what she was told about C so repulsive that she would beat down the sick piece of shit as long as she had the power to but would've gone along with the recruitment and becomes instantly for it when ey Actually get C with zero self-awareness is like.
It says everything man.
Avaritia deludes emself so hard on what the Abyssal Forest is (at least under Superbia's leadership, if there's a distinction) and what ey're party to, and like, this party line is all well and good:
"Ohhhhhh, no I take it all back," she was practically bouncing in place for some reason. "This is great! We're going to be the best partners ever and wow did Superbia misread you."
"I, uh, wha?" I offered lucidly.
"See C!" she paused at that and then giggled, "See C that's pretty good. Anyway! The seeds look scary and Superbia explained it badly but that's mostly because he's kinda a pretentious old guy and honestly your earth books have only made him worse since we got here.."
She shook her head, "What I'm saying is that this will be good for you! And, like, you have a real need for the power and I just so happen to need a cute partner now that Gula's," something caught in her throat and she shook her head side to side. "Nope, not moping about her right now, this is C time!"
And then the enthusiastic gremlin was back. Her tail was wagging.
"You have to understand that a sin, at least as far as the Forest is concerned, isn't an act. It's not hurting others or making things worse. It's a state of mind, you know? And, like, take wrath. Lots of people get very angry, but some of them have a good reason and some of them have really bad ones and maybe sometimes you should be a little wrathful, or maybe you need to take a break and sleep it off even if that makes you feel guilty."
She nodded, clearly satisfied with this explanation. "Everyone has feelings and some of those feelings are dark and they hurt but that doesn't make them fake or worthless. It's just a part of you and one you just don't get yet."
Okay, yes, she had realized something (or thought she had) and immediately changed the subject and I had no idea why, but that did almost sound plausible. But Superbia's nonsense had sounded plausible too. I wish I could write off my feelings like that. It would be nice if there was some benign truth I had yet to understand. I couldn't make myself believe it; not after Superbia had tried the same line, not after Temperance had gone looking for it and gotten so obviously wrong. Also my main experience with Avaritia bringing people's sins to the surface involved her turning them into monsters and sending them out to wreak havoc.
Heedless of my disbelief, Avaritia continued.
"Some of us need that emotion to face ourselves. There's a power in it, and maybe it has some barbs, but sometimes people need those barbs to hold themselves together. I used to try to deny my own desires. But Superbia gave me the seed of greed and," she sighed. "It taught me how to admit to wanting, to be okay with it and it gave me the power to seize what I needed for me and mine, to embrace that desire and make that desperation into a power all its own."
She smiled at me, "Now, if you were like, a weird creepy incel dude, having to work with you would just suck because who wants to team up with some weirdo perv, but that's not you C and I'm forbidding you from beating yourself up like that!"
"who wants to team up with some weirdo perv" is a question that's very helpfully already been answered; Superbia, who has no apparent motivations besides finding sinful people and driving them to indulge in their desires to the lowest depths, very much wants a Beast like that.
This is where Avaritia's preaching falls short of what the Abyssal Forest's practicing, ey don't want to deal with bad people, ey'd rather have a companion who's cute and troubled and grows into a more whole person by giving into what they're afraid of being the most, Avaritia wants it to be a little vice (cue title drop), but Superbia doesn't, Superbia wants humans to give into their worst sides, because that's what he thinks is the right way to be, because it proves his pride in being that way right, and so long as it consumes them to the exclusion of anything else, it doesn't matter if they're happy, or fulfilled, because that's not the point, and so they won't be.
"Seriously though Charlie. I just wanted to check in? I'm sorry about how you seem to keep getting caught up in the middle of all of this stuff going on. It's really not fair to you."
I shrugged, "The Saints seem to get caught up in a lot more than me, and besides, it's not like it's your fault I seem to be natural monster bait."
"Right, obviously it's absolutely not my fault at all!"
With that strangely guilty rejoinder, Lupin practically dashed into her uncle's office.
I woke to the sight of Avaritia's lupine eyes staring down at me.
"Wha?" I asked awkwardly as I recalled exactly where I was and why.
"Feeling better?" she asked, sounding marginally less upset at my existence than she had earlier.
"No," I admitted after taking a few moments to process the question, "bad dreams."
"Okay fine," she accepted, "maybe kinda our fault, but I've officially run out of other things to do. Believe me, I'd rather be anywhere else but, well.." she shrugged. Superbia's orders were not to be disobeyed.
She shook her head, "What I'm saying is that this will be good for you! And, like, you have a real need for the power and I just so happen to need a cute partner now that Gula's," something caught in her throat and she shook her head side to side. "Nope, not moping about her right now, this is C time!"
Somehow, Avaritia being enthusiastically supportive was far eerier and more threatening than her murderous rage. "Besides," she continued, heedless of my deer in the headlights look, "even if you try to resist, I'm a greedy greedy wolf and that means I take the things I want! And I want you to be my partner and figure yourself out and stop with the whole self-loathing thing and just relax and start indulging in all the cute stuff you've never been allowed to have. And once you're sorted we can show those pesky Saints that actually I'm doing great and I am not at all in the wrong here! Besides, our team is the best; you'll agree once you get it."
"Anyway," Avaritia grinned despite the grave psychic damage he'd just inflicted, "You're going to be the cutest bestest teammate who I can spoil and who'll stick with me to the end unlike that pesky shark!"
Here's the obvious throughline: Avaritia is was lonely, and thinks becoming relentlessly possessive will let em fix that by shoving demon seeds down people's throat to make them eir friend, and we're blatantly in the aftermath of the first time ey made this happen:
"Maybe you can't explain how you could have it, so you think about it, but you can't bring yourself to admit you want what you want and legitimize yourself and I could just tell you but then you'd just growl and resist and bite me and then go all guilty and be all 'woe is me' for a month and shut down and refuse to think about anything. Gula did that back in the day before we got her sorted out! Anyway, that's what the seed will help with! It'll feed on your sins, those nasty dark longings you can't deal with and then it'll use that power to give you what you need even if you're still scared to want it!"
...Just realizing that month might not be an overstatement.
Horrifying subtext aside, while we don't know how it fell through yet, we do know it did, and it's easy to guess it has to do with Avaritia entrapping Gula in a them against the world scenario (feat. Our Abusive Dragon Boss) with nothing but a can-do attitude wolf buddy for the bargain, and, clearly Avaritia didn't enjoy being refunded.
And now we're here at round 2, where Avaritia is sure this time will go better, because how could C be anything but happy to be Invidia when that means being a magical girl?
Because Envy is all about being satisfied with what you're given, right?
For where Avaritia stands on Gula, just refer back to episode 7. Seriously, it was a pretty explicit part of her arc!
(The chapter is finished its editing and with my wonderful beta readers, and should just need whatever comments they have and a final read-through on my end before it's ready to publish.)
For where Avaritia stands on Gula, just refer back to episode 7. Seriously, it was a pretty explicit part of her arc!
(The chapter is finished its editing and with my wonderful beta readers, and should just need whatever comments they have and a final read-through on my end before it's ready to publish.)
Don't be silly, I am sure Wrath (I know people are reading her as Envy or Sloth, but the wrath evidence is sooo obvious) is Alberta! Sure Inessa's friend had that kidnapping episode, but, like, the takeaway there was that he can't be a villain so they can't just go around and make him a Beast anyway. and honestly it's very refreshing to have a normal person in on the secret in one of these shows. Also he doesn't really have much depth or anything and he is a guy and the new Beast looks like Inessa. People digging for some weird gender bender plot line or something are reaching way too hard.
And besides, Bertie's anger issues have gotten clear mentions in at least three episodes after the one where she was the first monster that actually gave Castitas serious trouble, which definitely spells Beast potential more than the wimpy dude who keeps getting captured, and it's implied she kinda remembers what happen if you saw that one sequence back in episode 15 (or was it 16?).
Like, it's obviously her. I, for one, eagerly anticipate all the salt when Ira Bear is revealed!
Don't be silly, I am sure Wrath (I know people are reading her as Envy or Sloth, but the wrath evidence is sooo obvious) is Alberta! Sure Inessa's friend had that kidnapping episode, but, like, the takeaway there was that he can't be a villain so they can't just go around and make him a Beast anyway. and honestly it's very refreshing to have a normal person in on the secret in one of these shows. Also he doesn't really have much depth or anything and he is a guy and the new Beast looks like Inessa. People digging for some weird gender bender plot line or something are reaching way too hard.
And besides, Bertie's anger issues have gotten clear mentions in at least three episodes after the one where she was the first monster that actually gave Castitas serious trouble, which definitely spells Beast potential more than the wimpy dude who keeps getting captured, and it's implied she kinda remembers what happen if you saw that one sequence back in episode 15 (or was it 16?).
Like, it's obviously her. I, for one, eagerly anticipate all the salt when Ira Bear is revealed!
Hmm, Rice, you just reminded me of when Superbia said there's a power to names. Wonder if that's plot relevant, considering Temperantia's own weirdness with her civilian name and how she swapped magical names upon joining the heroes.
Ida's talk about quintuple timing made me briefly think Michael was mad at her for doing it. "Impressive display of diligence, next time do a polycule instead of playing with their hearts."
Here's the obvious throughline: Avaritia is was lonely, and thinks becoming relentlessly possessive will let em fix that by shoving demon seeds down people's throat to make them eir friend, and we're blatantly in the aftermath of the first time ey made this happen:
Avaritia: "I helped this girl."
Michael: "As mortals say, bullshit. You made a half-baked Beast with dissociation. Have you forgotten the egg directive?"
Kinda like Kill Six Billion Demons, with angels needing avatars to come into the world. Maybe have her soul peek out at dramatic moments.
Michael hopping out of Inessa's backpack and going off at Superbia
Michael: "You there! Blackguard! Enough! She's a noble soul, someone who gazes at the world with such admiration, she's consumed by kindness and envy at its beauty. Not someone to be beaten into shape. By my honor as an angel, unhand Inessa's sister!"
"Hi!" the voice in the speaker said. "This is Ida! If you are hearing this, I can't-"
I killed the connection, then dialed another number. Neither Temperance nor Ida answered. I drummed my fingers against the back of my other hand. I wanted to shout and pace and work out the thoughts physically until I was calm enough to know what to do. But the last thing I needed was to disturb dad and have to deal with his complaints instead of whatever crisis had reduced someone to begging me for help.
Instead, I took a deep breath. It was probably nothing that serious. No one would call me for help with an attacking monster. But, someone had called me and I couldn't just do nothing.
Okay, it was nowhere near time for classes to start and, as far as I knew, none of the sports teams had morning practice. That meant Ida would most likely have been at her home if something had happened. I saw no signs of a waiting Inessa as I slipped out of the house. It was a bit early for her, but, still one more piece of evidence to point toward something being wrong.
The walk toward Ida's house was agonizing. I wanted to sprint, but arriving without any stamina left wouldn't have helped anyone. So I alternated between jogging and power walking, worrying and wishing I owned at least a bike all the while.
I couldn't help but count the minutes. It took 19 of them to find myself, tired but functional, pawing at the fancy digital intercom at the entrance to Ida's building. Though the red brick facade spoke of age, the system was brand new and well-taken care of. Those were the perks of living this close to the city center, a fair trade for how cramped the apartment must be when shared between three people.
Eventually, after I had half resolved to start buzzing Ida's neighbors one by one, the intercom crackled to life and Ida's voice, more exhausted than I could recall hearing her, came through.
"Yes?" she said. I sighed in relief. She was alive and he didn't sound like she was in any great misery or fear.
"T-this is C. You called and asked for help?" the voice hadn't quite sounded like Ida, but it had been her phone.
Ida cursed, and the intercom went quiet for a moment before coming back, "It's fine C! Sorry to bother you, but things are going…." a muffled voice cut Ida off. This was followed by an exchange of words I couldn't understand.
Finally, Ida responded again, "Okay, things are fine," she said, refusing to concede to the other speaker, "but you can come on up if you really want to help. You don't need to though. I got this," she said, her voice quivering faintly with the desperation of someone who absolutely did not have whatever this was.
I slipped into the elevator and waited to be lifted to Ida's fifth floor apartment. I'd only seen it once or twice, but it wasn't hard to recall the details. Ida lived in a sleek modern two bedroom with hardwood pergo floors. Her mother had it decorated with an array of treasured tchotchkes, the artsy white-with-black print interrupted by Ida's brother's scattered toys. Floating above it all: the heavy smell of scented candles filling the air. I shivered, hoping that none would be cinnamon.
At least that's how it usually looked. When I opened the door, I instead found myself confronted with a number of fragments of what had previously been Ida's mom's Rae Dunn obsession. Amongst the rubble, there was Ida, or rather Angelic Saint Diligentia. For once, she didn't look all that angelic. Dirt and grass stains marked her skirt and large chunks of ribbon were missing from her top. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes, struggling to comprehend my presence for all that we had just talked.
"Hi… Diligentia?" I offered tentatively.
Ida seemed worried for a second, then glanced down at herself, "Oh, huh, forgot to change back with everything going on." She made no move to detransform.
"Everything?"
"Well," whatever Ida had been about to say got cut off by a small redheaded blur dashing in my direction before circling around me cowering behind my leg.
"C!" It chirped with a quiet urgency, "tell Temperance to stop biting me!"
"Diligentia," I asked, as I reflexively patted the small child's head, "Why is Inessa more of a child than usual?"
Ida sighed, "This new Beast's Resinners are all… well, nothing will ever be as bad as Fidget Spinner, but they're all weird!" Even as tired as she clearly was, Ida paused momentarily to shake the lingering trauma out of her thoughts. "Look, everything's okay, so you don't need to worry about it. As soon as I defeat the monster, they should go back to normal."
She wobbled a little unsteadily, thrown off balance via glancing contact from a blue haired child's approach. No larger than Ida, with her hair cut much shorter than I remembered and a pair of boyish overalls, this version of Temperance sported a worrisomely savage grin full of pointy teeth. One hand was clutched around what seemed to be Michael trying desperately to escape.
"Hiya big sis!" she said, beaming at me with youthful malice. "I'll let go of Michael if you give me back Inessa!"
Both Inessa and the plushie froze in quiet terror until Ida plucked Michael straight from Temperance's grasp and did her best to brush off the plushie. Michael wasted no time in taking higher to the air, well out of Temperance's reach.
"Hello Charlie," Michael's voice was particularly squeaky this morning and she seemed to have a bit of drool on her leg, greatly undercutting any gravitas the flying plushie might have managed.
"Hi Michael, did you call me?" I hadn't recognized the voice on the phone, but Michael seemed the most likely suspect.
She shook her head, circling around me slowly, examining, "No, loathe as I am to involve a mere mortal in our conflict, I declined to disturb you no matter the exigency of the situation. I believe Inessa stole Ida's phone."
Inessa nodded triumphantly, "I'm kinda mixed up," she admitted, "but I can mostly remember!"
"I have it under control," Ida interjected stubbornly. Inessa shook her head frantically from side to side refusing to leave her hiding place behind my legs.
Frustrated at her lack of a sapient plushie and/or archangel, Temperance carefully maneuvered her face to Ida's newly free hand before biting down sharply. Ida winced. "All. Under. Control." she said, clearly at a loss as to how to stop imp-mode Temperance from assaulting her.
"I, uh," I frowned. Ida needed help and, while I couldn't do anything to resolve whatever had caused all this, I was confident I could at least manage a pair of children for a bit, "Look Ida, I know I'm useless and you think I'll just mess things up if I get involved with the actual monster fighting, but I think I can at least help with this, and you must need a break after… whatever this has been?"
Michael, landing on my head, nodded agreeably.
"I don't need a break and I don't think you're useless C! I just…" Ida pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is our job. It's our duty to handle this and I already messed up once tonight and let them get hit in the first place."
I didn't think I'd be able to beat Miss Stubborn as a Boulder, so I opted for another strategy instead.
Temperance as a scheming demon child was, suffice to say, novel. Inessa, on the other hand, I had known at this age. It was plain that both recognized me. But, going by the fact that Inessa was every bit as shy as she'd been back then and that I couldn't imagine Temperance actually biting anyone in a million years, it felt safe to assume that their personalities had changed backwards to some extent. They were "mixed-up" as Inessa put it. And, if there was one thing I knew I could do, it was managing a young Inessa.
"Hey Inessa," I kneeled down and whispered conspiratorially in her ear, "do you want to show Temperance some of Magical Starlight Princess Knight Orion: Lovely Star?"
Inessa perked up, then immediately ducked back behind my leg and muttered something quietly. She'd been very different at that age; hurt and shy. It had taken her years to come out of her shell.
"Go on, I'm sure she'll love it and you won't get in trouble," I gave the hesitating girl a pat on the back.
"Can I?" Inessa asked, looking to me for permission.
I nodded gently and gave her a little push. That was all she needed. Inessa marched over to Temperance and grabbed the other girl's hand, shaking her away from a bemused Ida. Inessa pulled Temperance back to me to grab my hand and solemnly dragged both of us to the couch. Temperance seemed intrigued enough at this side of Inessa to cooperate for the moment. But it wasn't like she really had a choice; I feared for anyone who tried to get between a ten year old Inessa and her love for Orion.
I shot Ida a triumphant smirk. It only took a few minutes, and a few desperate maneuvers to retain Temperance's attention, to get streaming set up and allow both girls to grow entranced by Inessa's childhood passion. The redhead offering a deluge of enthusiastic explanations to her blue haired team-mate. Temperance, for her part, seemed captivated by the cartoon, to the extent that she barely noticed Inessa's rambling.
I ruffled Inessa's hair one last time then extricated myself from the couch to confer with Ida.
"Ida," I whispered softly, eliciting a moan of acknowledgement. Her eyes flickered open and she faced me, even if she didn't say anything. "what's the plan?"
She glanced reluctantly to the kids, then to me and sagged in defeat, "If, and you really shouldn't feel obligated, but if you can watch them, I can go out and hunt the monster right now and then we can at least make it to school by lunch?"
I stared at her, "Ida, you can barely stay awake."
"I'm fine!" She said, defensively, "I can do this! I'm Diligentia, and not even I know my own limits!"
"Obviously," Michael added unnecessarily, causing Ida to blush, "Besides," the angel said, "Our mysterious foe's Resinner may take after her creator. It did seem to vanish with the dawn."
Ida frowned at that, "I'm sure you could fight it as you are," I lied. "But without Inessa or Temperance to help, it'd probably go a lot better if you had some time to recover first, and they've clearly been running you ragged. I mean, think how I'd feel if I left you to fight by yourself and you got hurt because I didn't even help you get a small break?"
Ida sighed, "Fine. My mom will be back in," she struggled for a bit, "a bit after noon, so we should try to hide somewhere by then. C-could you watch them while I take a nap?"
I nodded, and Ida's weary eyes shut once more.
"Bed!" I glared with mock severity. Ida nodded and stumbled toward her bedroom.
"Ida?" I asked after her.
"Yes?" she asked, wobbling a little as she turned back.
"Detransform."
Ida stared at me in confusion for a few moments before her uniform dissolved into yellow ribbons, leaving her in pajamas.
I looked to Michael, once Ida's door was firmly shut. "You need a break too?"
The angel looked at me, unimpressed, "Nonsense! Such as we actually have no concept of exhaustion," she looked to Inessa, currently holding Temperance off from biting her with both arms, "but those creatures do… elicit a hitherto unknown emotion."
"Right," I offered, "go get cleaned up and take a break. Ida'll need you in top form if she's fighting by herself," I had no clue if Michael did anything useful in fights, but giving people an excuse to make doing what they wanted the right thing tended to help.
The angel dipped her head in acknowledgement and floated away to seek her own rest. I moved back to the couch for a morning of babysitting. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't had breakfast, but I paid it no mind. I'd feel uncomfortable raiding Ida's fridge and we would need to sort out lunch anyway soon enough. And, at 9:30, I only *really* had to keep them busy for two and a half hours. Easy.
Besides, it was nice to imagine Inessa at this age getting to have more than just the one friend, if only for a single afternoon. I alternated making sure the girls stayed occupied with quietly cleaning up the mess they'd created. I couldn't cover up all the damage, but living with dad these past few months had taught me to take care of all sorts of messes without attracting attention.
Temperance managed an hour of watching Starlight Princess Knight Orion fight against the forces of Despairo (empowered by the emptiness from between the stars) before she got bored. Inessa—and embarrassingly me—would have gone much longer; though Inessa's complaints that really Orion and her evil counterpart Lady Horizon made a better couple than Orion and Prince Sirius were growing increasingly loud by the end of our third episode. In retrospect, I wasn't quite sure how anyone, especially Inessa, could ever have been surprised by the fact that Inessa was gay.
Temperance might have proved a problem, but I had a secret weapon. The promise of ice cream, conditional on her not biting anyone or breaking anything, managed to restrain Temperance for another delightful 47 minutes as her boredom compounded.
And that brought me to 11:33am. Inessa had managed to drift off on the couch. That made sense, they likely hadn't slept last night either. Despite that, Temperance was practically vibrating with excess energy.
"So Temperance," I eyed the little terror carefully, "what do you want to do?"
"Well, big sis," the little girl smiled at me, "I think we should play dress up!"
Oh no. No. Nope. Disallowed. I refused! How, even reduced to the form of a child, could Temperance remain so monofocused when it came to me?
"In the first place, I'm not a girl so I can't be a big sis."
Temperance thought that over for a moment, then shook her head furiously, "Nope! My partner said I can just decide for anyone to be a girl if I want to, so you're a girl."
"Y-your partner!?" H-had Temperance been that precocious?
She nodded, "My co-cons, co-con…" she struggled with the word, "Cocoon spirit bird!"
I managed to parse that more or less, if not as quickly as desired. "Your co-conspirator?"
"Right! My cocoon spirit bird! She always helps me with things and we do everything together and are going to change things someday! She said I, or anyone can be a girl if I want to, no matter what the adults say!"
It took me a second to process that. Had Temperance just outed herself as transgender? I felt a spike of guilt at inadvertently prying a secret out from her while she was like this. She didn't look anything like I expected a transgender person to look, not that I really had much of anything in the way of expectations really. And, I guess being so used to thinking about that kind of thing would make more sense that she'd miscategorize me so badly.
I buried a faint twinge of something at the thought that Temperance was just allowed to decide to be a girl, and then got to be pretty and got to transform herself. She was allowed to change herself, to become someone she wanted to be and also she got to grow up as a girl and become a hero while I was stuck here being useless old ugly me.
"I think she meant anyone else could decide they wanted to be a girl," I offered. Obviously it couldn't be that easy. You were trans or you weren't. I might have not known much about what it was like to actually be trans, but wanting wouldn't make you a girl trapped in a man's body. At the same time, there wasn't much sense arguing with a good friend temporarily turned back into a preteen, especially when that good friend had more experience than I ever would with that topic when she had her full facilities.
Temperance ran a hand through her weirdly short hair—had she been kept from growing it out until she was older—and shook her head, "Nah! She's my partner, and she said so, so I get to decide! And you feel like a big sis."
I sighed, Some things never changed, and in this Temperance was as stubborn as Ida.
"What about me looks like a big sis?" I tried, irritably.
She tilted her head to the side, surveying me, then she spoke with the confidence of a judge rendering a final verdict, "Soft skin! Fluffy hair! Big round eyes!"
I frowned. My skin was hardly what I'd call soft. On the hair front: Okay, sure it had been a little while since my last haircut, and I'd been noticing that it was getting unruly, but I'd just been too busy.
"It's true," Ida's marginally less tired voice interrupted my thoughts.
I blinked. It was about time to wake her, if we wanted to dodge answering any strange questions with her mom. But, somehow, Ida had managed to rouse herself and sneak up on me.
"Whatever skincare routine you've been doing is working really well," she added, flopping down onto the couch, "and the haircut suits you."
"Tch," Temperance pouted with the reluctance of a thief who'd just found her mark well guarded.
"I, uh," I answered lamely. I had no idea what everyone was on about, "thanks I guess."
And now I was blushing. Why was I blushing over being told my skin was soft!?
"Anyway," Ida glanced toward Inessa's sleeping form, "I wanted to say, thanks. For earlier that is. I really needed that nap, it's just..."
"Just?"
"I like to be reliable, you know? It felt good when Michael told me I was qualified to be Diligentia. Like, even the world was acknowledging my hard work. It's hard to realize I need to be the one relying on others sometimes. So, umm, thanks for just taking over earlier. I needed that nap! But now," she grinned, "We can show that monster exactly why it shouldn't mess with us!"
"Ida," I offered somberly as I looked at my phone screen, "It's 11:45 and the monster won't show its face until sunset."
"Look!" she flailed. I wasn't used to a flustered Ida. When she wasn't working herself to the grave, she was the voice of reason between Inessa's general uselesness and Temperance's monotone snark. "It's one of those big inspirational speeches that you're always supposed to do before a game! Just go along with it, okay?"
"Okay. If it helps you fight, then it won't stand a chance."
"Better," Ida nodded.
"So I don't get to put big sis in a dress," Temperance said sadly.
"No!" I protested immediately, as if the words were a burning iron. "Where would you even find one?"
"You're not much bigger than mom," Ida offered, then clamped a hand over her mouth. "I mean," Ida clarified, "you shouldn't make C do things that make him uncomfortable, young lady!"
"W-weren't we planning on getting out of here before your mom comes home anyway? Besides, I promised Temperance ice-cream if she was good, so I was thinking we could try spending the afternoon in the park. I can text Inessa's family and tell them she snuck over pretty early to work on, I don't know a surprise for you or something, but we probably can't get away with having them at anyone's house…" Inessa was an early riser, and her magical girl duties often led to her coming home late, so her parents couldn't be that worried about her yet, but it was better to get our stories straight.
"Actually," Ida said tentatively, "That sounds great, but do you think you and Michael could watch them alone?"
"Going to grab some more sleep?"
"W-well, I really shouldn't skip lacrosse practice, and if I'm going, I should at least try to get to school for as much of the day as I should."
I stared at Ida in mute horror. She harrumphed.
"Actually," I offered tentatively, "I'm a bit worried about losing them. You know, or something. Especially if we're going out. Inessa is one thing, but Temperance is, well." I pointed to the blue haired menace, who had taken advantage of our distraction to chase a half-asleep Inessa around the apartment.
Ida hesitated, "I guess missing one day is okay. We can just study more to make up for later, Still, I did promise to be at practice."
For all she'd slept a little, Ida's gaze kept wandering longingly toward her bed and her steps were still a little unsteady.
"If you don't really rest up, you're not going to be able to fight tonight, so maybe just come with us to the park and relax a little?"
She hesitated, clearly drawn to the offer, then shook her head.
"I have responsibilities. I need to stay diligent! Besides, how can I be at my best if I don't practice?"
I sighed, "Practice is good and all, but if you just keep pushing yourself as hard as you can go, then what happens when something goes wrong? When you need to have a little more time or space or energy and you've already been working yourself to the bone? You'll have nothing extra to throw at an unexpected problem."
The diligent Ida glanced away, "Obviously you need to look after your health. But when things get hard, you just dig deeper and find it in you if it really matters!"
On the one hand, Ida was genuinely amazing. She got good grades, participated in multiple sports and helped out everywhere else. On the other hand, a stray breeze could knock her over right now and honestly, it seemed like I was more likely to lose track of her than Temperance if I had to keep herding them all.
"Anyway," I didn't have the strength or standing to argue with a genuine magical girl, "We should get out of here before your mom comes back. I managed to get things mostly cleaned up while you were napping, and we can figure this out after we get these little hellions," I did my best to gently remove Inessa's ponytail from Temperance's mouth and soothe the shy little redhead, "to the park where they can run through whatever energy they've got before you go fight."
Ida sighed, "I guess we should and, umm… Thanks for cleaning up and taking over for a bit? Really C, you're a life-saver."
I beamed, "I barely did anything, really!"
----
The day was beautiful and sunny and unseasonably warm for the season, if still a bit too cold to be perfect park weather. Michael was safely hidden inside Ida's backpack. I didn't anticipate that Temperance would actually want ice-cream after realizing how cold it was outside, but the small girl was firmly insistent that she had been promised, so we stopped at a little cafe by the park for lunch.
The burgers were mediocre, but watching Temperance devour her ice-cream and proceed to cajole away half of Inessa's made for an amusing sight.
"So, there's a playground near here," I offered Ida, "it's a bit cold for it, but I figure if we let them run around enough it'll be a lot easier to get through till evening and it could give you more time to rest."
She glared at me, "I'm fine. I don't need to be coddled."
"Sorry," I looked away first, "But… can I ask why you're so upset at the idea that you might need to rest like anyone else?"
Ida frowned, "I'm not against rest! You're as bad as Inessa and Temperance!"
"And Michael?" I asked with only the faintest hint of sarcasm.
"Yes! And she's usually telling them they need to spend more time practicing or patrolling."
"Ida, you're saying that literally everyone is telling you to slow down."
She had the grace to blush at that, and it was her turn to back down.
"I," she hesitated, "I mentioned before that Michael said I wasn't qualified at first. Inessa was the first and Temperance is special, but I had to work to prove I was good enough to help. It made sense to me that Michael would say I wasn't worthy," she shrugged. "I'm not bad, but I'm hardly special. I just pushed through and kept helping. Inessa helped me get into shape, and I guess that's how I won her approval in the end."
Ida stopped for a moment to toy with a french fry.
"I… I'm not talented," she said at last, "I can't keep up with Inessa or Temperance, or hey, even you, at the things you're good at. I definitely couldn't take a schedule like yours and miss a third of the year getting beaten up by monsters and then still have basically okay grades. This whole fighting evil thing? It's not like the others. It doesn't come naturally. And basketball? Lacrosse? There are so many girls there that have more natural talent than me."
"Ida…" I wanted to comfort her, to say something that would make it all okay.
"So that's why I need to keep pushing myself," she concluded. "And if I do better or if people rely on me, it's only because I work harder! I practice more; I train more. And I've gotten better than all of them. I study every day and it works out in the end. I've learned to be a magical girl even if it doesn't just click for me like it does for Inessa or Temperance." There was, I thought, a hint of guilt in her voice. She knew everyone else's concern wasn't so strange or unreasonable, no matter how she acted, and she pushed through anyway.
"I think you're pretty amazing actually," I admitted once I'd taken a moment to digest her words. "To be honest! I can barely work up the energy to get out of bed most days, much less keep throwing myself into things like you can. And, you were chosen to be a magical girl. You made all those teams. You throw yourself into everything and give your all and it works out. You're-"
Ida's fist struck the table, startling the kids and me alike. "I'm not!" she snapped. She was trembling. "I'm just not, okay. I try harder and I work harder and I practice more and that's almost enough, but I can't slow down, because if I stop pushing myself, if i just take it easy, then it'll be easier to do that the next time and then I won't be able to keep up!" To Ida, it seemed like falling behind her peers was a fate worse than death.
I'd never, in a thousand years, have thought I'd look into Ida's face and see even a shard of something like my own fears. Except, where I gave up, stopped trying and simply fell into hating myself, Ida kept moving forward. Was it any wonder she'd start to fear taking a break? She, unlike me, actually did things. She was the productive one, the one who deserved to rest, who needed it. Who was I to challenge that conclusion?
We sat in awkward silence until the waiter came by with the check and a more than welcome distraction.
Only as we shepherded the kids down the sidewalk toward the park did I speak. I still didn't know if there was an answer that'd help solve her worries. I certainly wouldn't be the one to come up with it if there was. But, saying nothing would only hurt even more.
"You don't need to be good enough to belong," I found myself saying. It was the kind of thing that should be true, but often wasn't in the end. It was still what Ida needed to hear. "Your friends aren't friends with you because you meet some standard as a person. You're all still friends with me and I'm basically useless at everything! But, if you get hurt while over-training yourself, you're just going to worry everyone. Believe me Ida, I wish I had a tenth the willpower you do, but you need to balance yourself when people depend on you! That's a part of hard work too, knowing when to hold yourself back so you have more later."
She thought it over for a while, and I was worried she was going to stand her ground, before she sighed.
"Inessa is right. You really are the wise one, you know? I guess I can take it easy just this once. But, I'm trashing that Resinner tonight!"
She stomped loudly on the sidewalk with enough force that I swear I felt the earth shake a little. It startled Inessa as well as a few other pedestrians. Ida frozen in a panic for a moment, then pulled up the hood of her winter jacket to hide her blush.
"Thanks. I mean it," she smiled at me. "You know, if you want to impress Michael, I'm sure we could figure out a good practice regime for you!"
I thought about it. It was a kind offer, and one that I wouldn't have imagined Ida making even a day ago. But I wasn't the saint of diligence. Ida might laugh about how she wasn't chosen, but wasn't the will to push through and keep going its own way of being special in the end?
We managed to make our way to the playground after plying Temperance with a few more treats. I would have been worried we were indulging her too much—particularly after Temperance announced that this was 'revenge on her big-self for being an idiot'—if this wasn't temporary and Temperance wasn't about to return to normal once Ida won her fight.
From there, we let the kids play; only slightly at Inessa's expense. I joined in for as long as I could, Ida spent a lot of the time resting on a bench before joining them for a game of tag.
And then, with Inessa and Temperance gently dozing off on a park bench, Angelic Saint Diligentia and the Archangel Michael marched off into the sunset to hunt a monster while I waited and watched the moonrise.
It was a crisp night, and the kids had cuddled up to each other for warmth before Inessa had slumped over in sleep and landed in my lap. I'd laid my own jacket over them; it wasn't so cold that I couldn't bear it, and the crisp winter air helped me stay focused as I waited for any sign of DIligentia's victory.
I hated that I couldn't join in. I hated that I couldn't help in a more meaningful way. But, getting to talk Ida through her worries had been something. She had reached out and she had trusted me and, I hoped, she would find the strength to rely on others, for all she was fighting alone right then.
I gently ran a hand through Inessa's hair and I counted the stars. I had, for once, done my part, and now I had nothing else to do but hope and for once that didn't feel so impossible.
And then, without any fanfare or pageantry, it was over. Both Inessa and Temperance were enveloped in a soft shimmering glow and began to stretch, returning to their normal sizes. I let out the breath I'd been holding as Inessa stirred and adjusted her top which had, thankfully, changed back with her.
I smiled to myself, glad to see that they were okay. Sure, I wished I could have helped Ida with the important part. Then I shook them awake. I wasn't sure about Temperance's home situation, but Inessa's family would absolutely be worrying and we had to get our story straight.
NEXT WEEK ON SHINING VIRTUE ANGELIC HEART!!!
Temperance decides to attend a concert to spend some time alone exploring more of Earth's culture. Watching the duo perform makes Temperance wonder if she made the right choice. But, what's this?! A Beast attack threatens to spell lights out for the show unless the Saints can come together to save the day.
Tune in for Episode 19: Shining! On Stage! Kopier Kat Got your Tongue?
Once again I'd like to thank the lovely @Chehrazad, @NemoMarx and @Gargulec for helping to elevate my rough Nanowrimo draft of this chapter into something cogent.
The next chapter is almost entirely new content however, so it may take a bit longer than a week to get written and revised.
Speaking of Madoka, I think what's most interesting to me about it these days is that it's not really a magical girl show. That is, the main character spends approximately none of the show as a magical girl. It is, instead, a show about becoming a magical girl and the weight that can have. That is, where most shows in the genre make the choice to be a hero something a stumbling block to get over, Madoka isn't afraid to make that decision the entire cornerstone of its narrative.
And, err, 7 chapter in with no sign of C wearing a skirt outside a dream, I can admit that, while I don't want to quite copy that structure, that Madoka is definitely a source that gave me some structural inspiration inspiration for this project, even if I don't want to engage with Madoka's particular themes or motifs in this work in any substantial way.
And, err, 7 chapter in with no sign of C wearing a skirt outside a dream, I can admit that, while I don't want to quite copy that structure, that Madoka is definitely a source that gave me some structural inspiration inspiration for this project, even if I don't want to engage with Madoka's particular themes or motifs in this work in any substantial way.
Honestly, I think you have done a lot to demonstrate that C is absolutely a Magical Girl. It's just, they're one of those Magical Girls which don't believe they deserve the limelight and so stay into the shadows, hiding all that they achieve before finally being convinced to give it a go and exploding all over the scene with a massive triumph.
huh, Charlie is making monsters in her sleep now? I really doubt that level of disconnect is normal for beasts, who are all about the unchained id. I suspect it's the result of Charlies massive amount of repression and denial.
She nodded, "My co-cons, co-con…" she struggled with the word, "Cocoon spirit bird!"
I managed to parse that more or less, if not as quickly as desired. "Your co-conspirator?"
"Right! My cocoon spirit bird! She always helps me with things and we do everything together and are going to change things someday! She said I, or anyone can be a girl if I want to, no matter what the adults say!"
The obvious interpretation is that Temperance is "conventionally" trans, but consider the following: as an abyssal beast she was literally a shark, or imp, or some other glutony aligned agender nonhuman. A Maleficer of Mischief. A Demon of Dastardly Deeds. A Cutpurse of Candy. A Footpad of Froyo. Etc. Before one day declaring "fuck it, Girl Time."
Which is still very trans, but going from agender to girl instead of the binary girl to/from boy.
Its also pretty amusing that apparently Lupin/Avaritia has a history of collecting genderqueer girls to commit crimes with
You know guys, this might be crazy, but I actually think the show is building towards some sort of C arc. I know he's just been the token damsel in distress, but between Superbia trying to make him a resinner and him spending more time giving pep talks onscreen, they definitely seem to be making C a bigger character. It wasn't really the focus, but he said a lot of stuff about himself that seemed pretty unhealthy while trying to convince Ida to take a break.
Not sure where they're going with it though. Maybe he's gonna end up as Ida's love interest? That may be the shipping goggles at work though.
This chapter was so good, Shadell. Just... the sheer level of emotionas and vibes you manage to capture without using many words at all is really impressive.
There was the opening where you can see how C's father's neglect is a long term thing, really screwing with C's health and has become unritically justificatied that lives in the background of C's head... It's just... so sad to read.
Watching C's older sibling instincts kicking in was fantastic as was C's lowkey manipulation of Ida for her own good to prevent a self-destructive cycle of behaviour kicking in. (I cannot count how many times I've been the one babysitting friends' younger siblings, been the sober friend looking after people, been the friend that volunteers to lead an intervention to hopefully steer people away from burning themselves out. I'm just known as That Friend™️ I guess, have been for as long as I can remember; so I fully admit to massive bias here in how much I love the set of scenes).
Thus, I got an overload of the warm fuzzies watching C try and succeed from a headspace where they are miserable to the extent that it screws massively with their executive function - as well as having had to live a life for months where monster attacks just mess up their life which C has zero control over. And despite all of that, C is gentle, C is clever, C is kind, C gives a real and successful pep-talk that they keep grounded in the truth - C's moral/social courage and maturity are really shining through here as well as their ability to take the edge off things for the sake of others.
Now, obviously, there are things that will still hopefully improve for C quite dramatically. I mean, just look at this bit:
It took me a second to process that. Had Temperance just outed herself as transgender? I felt a spike of guilt at inadvertently prying a secret out from her while she was like this. She didn't look anything like I expected a transgender person to look, not that I really had much anything in the way of expectations really. And, I guess being so used to thinking about that kind of thing would make more sense that she'd miscategorize me so badly.
I buried a faint twinge of something at the thought that Temperance was just allowed to decide to be a girl, and then got to be pretty and got to transform herself. She was allowed to change herself, to become someone she wanted to be and also she got to grow up as a girl and become a hero while I was stuck here being useless old ugly me.
What I find hopeful is that a few chapters ago I don't think C would have admitted this to themselves. C would not have had the emotional bandwidth to do so. It's a sign that C's beginning to change and grow and I'm really hopeful about this track of growth. (I just want C to be happy )
C's headspace is still all twisted up in envy and depression and all sorts of other stuff here, but I think that this demonstrates that they still have a bit of hope that they cling onto (and it feels less like an unhealthy desperate cling than last chapter - their self-justifications are increasingly complex, there are fewer points in this chapter where C just accepts that they're lesser somehow and more times when they need come up with a convluted reason as to why). Not ideal, but still progress.
Additionally, I do not think the timing for when the hope buried deep in their soul starts coming to the fore is an accident when it starts right after C has built a more resolute support network with more friends and can rightfully feel more self-actualised because, from C's perspective, they've actually succeeded on something concrete as themselves. No one can take that from them. It's theirs, (in a good way - just like how we've seen our ex-gluttony friend still exhibit that trait but in a healthy manner).
Actually, come to think of it, the aesop of this episode is arguably that a magical letting the virtue they represent overtake too much of their life can be extremely unhealthy (it's almost like people are complex creatures with many traits to them). But that also doubles down on the background theme of a 'sin' (as in the actual quality) not being inherently bad since it's a normal quality in people, these things just need a healthy outlet/more healthy way of going about things! The reinforcement is just framed from the direction of talking about a virtue. That's so sneaky, Shadell! Well played! I'm consistently deeply impressed by how many interpretable details you leave quietly in the background, almost unnoticeable before the penny drops and I go "Wait, HANG ON!"
Fantastic update. Fantastic character work, both in terms of growth (mainly for C and Ida) as well as the deepening of the strength of their friendship. Fantasic vibes - it's extremely realistic but also incredibly impressive how you manage to pull of C being a mess inside their head but still able to pull out cozy vibes like this. We're still watching C "cope" but it's in a way where it's very believable that no one else (except maybe Michael given how the plushie seems to be able to see into the metaphorical hearts of people) picks up on the true, absolutely dire extent that C needs help/support - though we've been watching some of the first more clumsy attempts at support happen over the last few chapters because the magical girls are good beans.
Anway I'll stop rambling now (whoops, I've gone on a bit); but you continue to absolutely smash it out of the park, Shadell. This work is an immensely talented piece of writing and the love you and your beta readers have put into crafting it drips from every paragraph.
As ever, great chapter, fuck you for all these emotions. God I should not empathize so much with C, I wish I actually had executive function to examine that but I refuse!
this version of Temperance sported a worrisomely savage grin full of pointy teeth. One hand was clutched around what seemed to be Michael trying desperately to escape.
As ever, great chapter, fuck you for all these emotions. God I should not empathize so much with C, I wish I actually had executive function to examine that but I refuse!
Okay, it was nowhere near time for classes to start and, as far as I knew, none of the sports teams had morning practice. That meant Ida would most likely have been at her home if something had happened. I saw no signs of a waiting Inessa as I slipped out of the house. It was a bit early for her, but, still one more piece of evidence to point toward the
Actually, come to think of it, the aesop of this episode is arguably that a magical letting the virtue they represent overtake too much of their life can be extremely unhealthy (it's almost like people are complex creatures with many traits to them). But that also doubles down on the background theme of a 'sin' (as in the actual quality) not being inherently bad since it's a normal quality in people, these things just need a healthy outlet/more healthy way of going about things! The reinforcement is just framed from the direction of talking about a virtue. That's so sneaky, Shadell! Well played! I'm consistently deeply impressed by how many interpretable details you leave quietly in the background, almost unnoticeable before the penny drops and I go "Wait, HANG ON!"
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