A Little Vice (Trans Magical Girl fic)

[ArlequineLunaire]

I think nowadays Invidia would mostly have 'Rhinestone Eyes' Edits made of her

 

[Aranfan]

This is the version of bad apple I'm familiar with. And yeah. It works well with C turning into Invidia.

You know what we just realized? If this were a real show, people would have started making character AMVs featuring C turning into Invidia set to Bad Apple almost immediately after this episode. It checks a surprising number of boxes:

Click to shrink...

Also, damnation that is an excellent rendition. Thanks to the lot of you for showing it to me.

 

[General_Urist]

The "bad apple" amv idea fits SO well. Good TED Talk. God, I love how we are reconstructing the show's in universe out of universe (oh god my terminology supply is insufficient for this!) fandom and its behaviors. Actually I wonder now: What year would Shining Virtue Angelic Heart have come out? With how much the mall features, it has pre-pandemic vibes.

 

[GreatWyrmGold]

The "bad apple" amv idea fits SO well. Good TED Talk. God, I love how we are reconstructing the show's in universe out of universe (oh god my terminology supply is insufficient for this!) fandom and its behaviors.

Click to shrink...

Huh. What is the right term? It's not quite a framing device; the fictional Shining Virtue Angelic Heart anime is part of the story's premise, but A Little Vice isn't presented as a series of SVAH episodes. Maybe it's a metafictional layer or something? Hm.

 

[LampWitch]

Also, Devils Never Cry due to the whole demon thing. Splatoon 2 also has Tidal Rush, the theme for when Marie helps fight Callie, which has gibberish for lyrics. And the human brain can produce words from the gibberish, so you could try try to create apropriate lyrics.

 

[Scia]

Nah the propper question to ask for AMVs is which of Evanescence or Linking Park is the primary AMV band ?

 

[Aranfan]

Nah the propper question to ask for AMVs is which of Evanescence or Linking Park is the primary AMV band ?

Click to shrink...

I mean, Linkin Park made an AMV. So I'mma go with them?

 

[ArlequineLunaire]

If you wanna go really 00s, you'll want a Scissor Sisters' 'I Can't Decide' AMV for Invidia x Castitas

 

[Glau]

Tatu's 'Everything She Says' over a mix of the phasmagorical fights from the last 2-3 episodes?

 

[Allegoriest]

oh you know Invida would get a ton of edgy nightcore amvs

 

[AeraLynn]

Wait wait wait...

If you wanna go really 00s, you'll want a Scissor Sisters' 'I Can't Decide' AMV for Invidia x Castitas

Click to shrink...

Your brain... Galaxy Sized. The sheer amount of Invidia x Castitas ship AMVs that would exist... Personally, I'd pick Fall Out Boy's Hold Me Like a Grudge to fit the general ship theme. Being dragged along and yet feeling left behind. idk. Now I'm making mental AMVs for a show wthat doesn't exist, is all I know

 

[LampWitch]

The sheer amount of Invidia x Castitas ship

Click to shrink...

Mostly made by the the Brandt couple. That's their current plan for getting C into the family.
"Plan Adoption failed, we'll get them next time."

 

[GreatWyrmGold]

The idea of Inessa's parents being active participants in the fandom of a magical girl anime starring their daughter is just so funny to me. Yes, their first concern would be making fun of Inessa/Lupin shippers and not the fact that there's an anime where her their daughter turns into their town's hero to fight their town's villains.

Or, for that matter, the fact that people online are arguing over who their daughter should date.

 

[LampWitch]

Oh, I originally thought of there being in-universe shipping of the magical girls. There being an anime of their daughter is funny too.
Though, did you mean them being in a normal, no magic AU with the anime existing for some reason, or the canon universe but a company blew their secret identities?

 

[Aranfan]

Per conversation on Discord, Invidia singing Bad Apple would be emotionally brutal. But the only way you'd get her to do it is if it's some meaningless Karaoke so she can deny any significance.

 

[GreatWyrmGold]

Oh, I originally thought of there being in-universe shipping of the magical girls. There being an anime of their daughter is funny too.
Though, did you mean them being in a normal, no magic AU with the anime existing for some reason, or the canon universe but a company blew their secret identities?

Click to shrink...

I was imagining the latter. My intuition was that that's the more absurd option, but on second thought, an animation company greenlighting a series about real magical girls makes more sense than doing the same for a few random girls in some American town.

I still think it would be weird for Inessa's parents to participate in the shipping, though, even if they don't know Castitas = Inessa. They just don't seem like the shipping type.

 

[Iris-Iven-Ibis]

Per conversation on Discord, Invidia singing Bad Apple would be emotionally brutal. But the only way you'd get her to do it is if it's some meaningless Karaoke so she can deny any significance.

Click to shrink...

Oh my God there's a discord where I want

 

[Shadell]

The idea of Inessa's parents being active participants in the fandom of a magical girl anime starring their daughter is just so funny to me. Yes, their first concern would be making fun of Inessa/Lupin shippers and not the fact that there's an anime where her their daughter turns into their town's hero to fight their town's villains.

Or, for that matter, the fact that people online are arguing over who their daughter should date.

Click to shrink...

This image is hilarious but Inessa's mom would absolutely be both extremely confused were this to occur (not about the improbable coincidence in show aesthetic, just, like, at the existence of online fandom being the way it is) and also probably radiate matronly disapproval.

 

[LampWitch]

I was imagining the latter. My intuition was that that's the more absurd option, but on second thought, an animation company greenlighting a series about real magical girls makes more sense than doing the same for a few random girls in some American town.

I still think it would be weird for Inessa's parents to participate in the shipping, though, even if they don't know Castitas = Inessa. They just don't seem like the shipping type.

Click to shrink...

Ah, well. It was more that they want C in the family so my idea is they start wacky plans to get them. Maybe try to butter up Superbia to arrange marriage, after all they live in a castle and vampires are usually nobility, surely someone smart as Superbia would realize that makes sense. Or buy an apartment complex and convince them to live there.

 

[Aranfan]

I hope we get to see inessa come out as chastity to her parents to explain where C went. They have to be out of their minds worried by C just up and disappearing after them taking her in.

 

[GreatWyrmGold]

I'm always a fan of superheroes and the superhero-adjacent explaining their secret to their loved ones, but I don't think that's actually necessary to explain that they saw C turn into an Abyssal batgirl. Everyone knows that there's an Abyssal wolfgirl running around, and that there used to be a sharkgirl. (No evidence of a lavaboy.) While there is a connection between the Saints and C's transformation, it's indirect enough that Inessa can get away with not explaining it.

 

[LampWitch]

True. I wonder how the parents will react to knowing C is now a vampire running around with magical cult.
I'd be interested in the scene when Inessa and Ida have to explain to their families they're magical girls. (Huh, you could do a coming out metaphor with the secret identity I guess, though Inessa's parents already know she's ultra gay.) Or it never happens and is just in the domain of omakes.

 

[Embler]

Binging this overnight was a rare treat. I love the rare bit of trans fiction that's as dark and complicated as questioning your identity usually is. And, uh, I also love magical girls. I've definitely been imagining them as Precure characters in my head. The characters are so good in this, Avaritia's excitement after realizing what was up with C stands out as my favorite moment. "I want all the pronouns! So strange the nature of sin!" It's hard not to love her.

Confronting yourself after experimenting with shady plant HRT. Whew, what a mood.

 

[Heliotrope]

Good fucking lord this was awesome and hurt to read. I want more! Also is there a discord, really? I heard someone mention that.

 

[Shadell]

Spoiler: Content Warnings

deadnaming, misgendering

I gave them a mocking curtsy, before dropping into a fighting stance, wings flared behind me, claws ready to strike. I had wings! I had claws! I was vaguely sure that I could scream and do something vaguely dangerous and probably bat themed! I had boobs! I wasn't quite sure why I'd done that last one to myself, but it felt all nice and thematic to sink into the dark mirror so I couldn't be too upset about it.

And yet, I wasn't supposed to be happy. Dad was… I'd betrayed Inessa and company. I was supposed to be miserable. Minutes ago I had sunk deep into the kind of chronic misery that just casts a gray fog and makes feeling anything at all seem so tiresome and yet here I was giggling, giggling evilly, and unable to get over how cathartic this all was. I was the worst and even admitting that couldn't bring me down.

"Do we have to fight?" Inessa's voice trembled. She needed this to be fake, needed to prop up the good boy image of C she'd built in her head. "Can't we just talk this out? We'll help you C, you don't need this to change! Just, let us help?"

"What does being a girl have to do with anything?" I asked, then shook my head. That wasn't important here. "I've told you Inessa, that dear little C isn't such a nice person. He—I didn't do this because I had a bad dad and no one saved me. I wasn't born in the wrong body or anything sympathetic like that. What I was was weak, too weak to act, too weak to grow or change with those around me and too weak to find peace with that."

Inessa reached out wordlessly to take my hand. Reflexively, I batted her hand away, leaving a thin trail of red on the offending appendage. I forced myself to stare silently for a moment as I made sure I wouldn't apologize or admit it had been an accident. Then I laughed.

"At the end of the day, I'd rather be a villain than stay waiting in the wings forever. I'm happy like this, happier than I'd have ever been with your help; happier than I'd be if dad was a good person or nothing was wrong with me in the first place. I don't deserve kindness. I don't need pity."

Temperance's eyebrow twitched as she stared at me. From the impassive girl, that might as well have been a scream. It wasn't her fault, she'd tried hard to help me; she just had it all wrong from the start. I wasn't the kind of person she could reach like that.

Inessa—Inesa's tears drove a dagger through all this newfound euphoria. I couldn't meet her gaze.

I stood there awkwardly for a few moments, trying to decide how to finish this conversation. The Saints seemed in no rush to attack, and, okay, sure I'd declared myself their enemy and I was absolutely going to fight them. I could sense my newfound power driving me against them. Invidia's sprout had needs and I knew intuitively that running from the things it needed to grow would only see it cut me off.

I would fight them. I could fight them.

The seconds dragged on, a cold detente waiting for someone to give the signal for them to transform. No wait, this was bad! There were three of them and I barely had any idea how to use my powers. Besides, Inessa mostly just won, and okay, sure I was a new me, but I was still me inside the lies and… Just because I'd decided to betray everything I admired just to shine for a moment didn't mean my heart was ready to fight them right away.

The silence dragged, and dragged. I… I couldn't just walk away awkwardly after that whole speech and the Saints weren't willing to leave even though none of them seemed to know what to say. Avaritia would probably have had some cool way of vanishing into the void dramatically and, thinking about it, I could do that but what if I messed up!?

Finally, when I could take it no more, I launched myself barely accidentally into a second story ledge and bounced off gaining more air, my wings snapped open and I hung there for a moment before teetering into a nearby wall, which I promptly kicked off, ascending higher until I managed to perch mostly intentionally on a ledge.

"T-This time I'll let you go Saints! But next time we meet I won't be so nice!"

And then I was away, leaping across the rooftops, reveling in how fast and strong this new body was how that awkwardness almost immediately gave way to grace as I let all the copied mastery guide my feet. I… didn't know where to go. I knew I should probably do something evil or something. I could feel the sin soaking through my bones. I knew, somehow, that I needed to embody my sin and to serve the cause If I wanted to keep these blessings; but I had no idea how that worked and I couldn't just go to the Forest and ask for help when he was there.

"Oh no," I muttered quietly as I landed in someone's small rooftop garden, "I can't go to school like this!" This was terrible! I'd already missed so much from monsters and then, sure tomorrow was a holiday but how was I supposed to be there on Tuesday?! What if my grades dropped? M-maybe no one would notice. No one had noticed Lupin was Avaritia and the giant bat wings weren't that visible if I squinted really hard. Sure I was a lot shorter and also looked nothing like I had an hour ago, but maybe a big hoodie would work if Inessa didn't just incinerate me the second she saw the wings…

No, I could do this! It would be hellishly awkward to walk back into class after that dramatic exit, but my grades depended on it. I just had to detransform; the knowledge was there as easily as I'd known to blossom into my new self in the first place. I could go back to being that miserable ugly useless boy for a bit. Then I could go home and…

But I couldn't really go home, could I? I stumbled on someone's rooftop garden, barely avoiding a carefully arrayed trellis. Right, dad had done that. I couldn't go back. Inessa's family would… I couldn't go back there either.

Surprisingly, turning into a magical bat girl had not actually solved any of my problems.
I sat on the rooftop, slowing my breathing and tracing a hand across the pleats in my skirt. Something about that soothed.

First thing's first, it was agony to contemplate, but I could barely think straight with all the power and beauty and sheer freedom of being Invidia. C could walk around town without problems and, hopefully, find actual food and shelter. C could parse all things he'd done to destroy his life without all the everything distracting him too much from that.

I took a deep breath and set about trying to be C again.

Invidia's seed had taken root inside of me and bore a beautiful fruit. That was me now and if I kept saying it, I might even forget it was a lie. Even so, I knew, in the same way I knew how to work my new wings, that I could take off the mask and bottle up all that miasma inside of me until it was needed. The power responded to my desires, to my vices and my needs. I knew I could bottle that all away and transform back.

I sat on the rooftop, slowing my breathing and focusing. I needed to go back to being that waste of space, to condense all my stolen beauty into the faintest glimmer of a want in the deepest reaches of my heart and lock it away.

I opened my eyes and surveyed my work. I still had boobs. My skirt still swished distractedly when I hopped to my feet. I still had an amazing pair of bat wings wrapped around me.

Well, it wasn't like anyone would want to stop being this magnificent and go back to being a… wait. I assumed I was beautiful. I'd copied the Saints and they were great looking. But, what if I was hideous? No, that would defeat the entire point. I just… i wanted to see my face.

"Watcha doing?" a cheerful and familiar voice practically shouted next to my ear.

I jumped and, mostly accidentally, clubbed the interloper with one wing as I spun around to face em. "N-not so loud!"

Avaritia Wolf stood behind me, aggreivedly rubbing eir ear. Ey tilted eir head to the side, appraising. Then ey gave me a thumbs up.

"Looking good, Invidia." The name sounded like welcome on Avaritia's lips.

"I do?" I asked hesitantly.

Ey nodded, "The wings and the ears are a great addition to the look! You look way more distinctive now."

I blushed, "D-do you have a mirror? I umm," I couldn't really admit that the need to make sure my face looked sufficiently magical girlish had completely distracted me from all my existential dread, could I? I was a guy! Sure, I was a magical girl right now, but, "I was, uh, trying to change back into my boy mode and I wasn't having much luck, so I was thinking maybe if I could see what I looked like now, that would help me, umm…"

I didn't need to ask how Avaritia had found me. Eir presence, now that I was aware of it, practically filled the space next to me. It wasn't a noise, but I couldn't perceive it as anything but; a percussive clash of metal on metal, ringing brightly and clearly, spreading and enveloping everything around it. My own sound was a pitiful whistle by comparison.

"Right, you gotta get back to your dad so you have to hide things," for some reason Avaritia didn't sound very happy about that.

"Umm, we, uh, had a little fight on Friday. Anyway, I'm not going back there for a bit, so, uh, mostly I just need to attend classes, you know."

Avaritia, somehow, didn't seem comforted by that fact.

"So, just Inessa and her crowd then," ey noted.

"They, umm, may have seen me turn into this…" I laughed awkwardly, "I, umm, was staying with Inessa so, uh…"

Avaritia grinned, "Wow! Showing off right in front of your natural enemy and her best friends!" she pretended to nod sagely, "kids these days have a lot of gumption!"

"It's…" I didn't know what to say. Inessa had been everything to me, my only real tie to the world for so long and now that was… what? Did I resent her? Obviously. She had everything I'd ever wanted, an idol I couldn't hope to match; she was simply better than me on every level, and I was… an object in her story, a nice little NPC to hand out advice every now and then with no real chance to participate, a useless boy she could look good saving. Had we ever been as close as I assumed we were? I wasn't sure.

"Sorry," Avaritia grimaced, "that's probably not a fun thing for you. Annnyyywaaay, we can totally get you a room in the Abyssal forest! And then we can go shopping and get you all the girl things you haven't been allowed to have to fill it up!"

I shuddered at that. Could I live in a room permeated with the scent of cinnamon like that? Maybe it would be different. Mr. Noir had never tried to hit me.

"Well?"

"Thanks," I said awkwardly as Avaritia's confident smile "But right now I just need to go back to normal. I can't wander around town with bat wings, can I?"

Ey glanced me over, "right! Mirror. Here, will this work?" I couldn't tell from where, but ey managed to produce a small, if rather pricey looking, compact.

I held it for a moment, nervous. What if I looked strange? What if I was hideous? I shook my head and popped open the compact. The mirror was curved to magnify my features, so it was hard to see, but…

"I'm…" I stared at the girl reflected there deeply. Her hair was tied back into a long ponytail that fell to the small of her back. It, and her eyes, shared a swamp green color with the ribbons decorating her top and the trim on her skirt. Inessa's face had always been adorable, with a button nose and wide innocent-looking eyes, but it was so much nicer now that I wore it, for all I was missing the freckles. A pair of bat ears stuck out the side of her head, but the overall effect was more cute than menacing. She was smiling uncontrollably for some reason, and I could see that she'd gained a pair of positively vampiric fangs where her canines had once been.

"I look like a real magical girl," I said at last.

"You are a real magical girl," Avaritia corrected, ruffling my hair. I blushed, then sniffled. Hearing em say that I was real, that I was really a part of this, for all I'd done something awful to get there, hit home in an incomprehensible way.

"A-anyway, I need to go back to C mode!" I closed my eyes and tried to focus; but all I saw inside my head was the new me.

"You know," my partner said, feigning a casual tone, "It's not like you need to go back to being him. You could just… stay a girl and go human. It's not like you're actually turning back. You're just… hiding in a human shell for a bit. Wouldn't you prefer," Avaritia's voice sounded like temptation itself, "to just stay as her even if you have to hide the wings."

It was too easy to picture it; a green-haired girl who could have been Inessa's cuter twin. She was pretty and normal and her parents probably didn't hate her. She didn't hate herself or the world or feel so desperate to change that she'd sell her soul. It would be easy, to pull the power in, to let myself be her. Except, she wasn't a magical girl; she wasn't the object of my jealousy. It would be weird to stay a girl without that wouldn't it?

"There's no real point to it? I need to stay as Charlie to go to class or ," I offered lamely.

"Wow, you got that quick," Avaritia responded.

"I what?"

"Going back to a normal person!" Ey clarified brightly, "one second full vampire bat and the next, poof, cute schoolgirl!"

I absently adjusted my sleeves, then did a quick double-take as I realized I had traded in my uniform for a jacket and jeans again, but they were suddenly far too big for me. The sleeve practically covered my hands, and my jacket threatened to slip off one shoulder.

"W-what!?"

"Awwww," Avaritia smiled toothily. "It's not super obvious when you're all batty because the wings really add a lot of volume, and you were all smokey and shifty before so it was hard to tell, but you're really just adorable, you know."

Lupin stepped toward me and I realized ey was right; I was used to people being my size at most or mostly shorter and now ey practically towered over me. It was intimidating in an oddly pleasant way. Well, who'd like being so pointlessly big? Tripping over things, taking up space, everyone expecting you to be strong and tough because you're tall and broad shouldered and why was Avaritia so close!?

I backed away nervously, "A-Ava-Avaritia?"

Ey shook eir head, and gently traced a finger along the line of my jaw, "I mean literally anyone could have seen this coming, but wow you came out adorable."

I couldn't think, couldn't process. I retreated, practically standing at the edge of the building.

"S-shouldn't we be getting to class?" I managed.

Avaritia shook her head, "No, no. Ignoring that it's Sunday and setting aside the fact it's really obvious you can't just walk into school until we get some kind of new identity set up, the line isn't that it's 'my what big teeth you have'!"

I hesitated. Of course I was being dumb. I couldn't just walk into school as a girl no matter how that would feel, and I couldn't go back there as C either. My problems hadn't gone away. They were worse. I was a monster and I should have been angry and dead inside. I'd been all those things an hour ago.

I looked at Avaritia as she slowly licked eir lips, eir tail swishing furiously. Ey presented a lot more masculine as Avaritia than Lupin. The chaos and whimsy and aggressive energy didn't change, but ey traded in the skirts and tight shirts for an outfit that mixed frills with more casual boyish elements; shorts instead of a skirt. Avaritia was gorgeous either way of course, but this amplified eir impishness and…

"My," I started, stammering furiously as I tried to get the line out. Ey was cool and powerful and dangerous and, while I still didn't know much about the deal I could feel I'd accepted, ey truly seemed to believe in the cause and somehow, ey wanted me, of all people, to stand at eir side.

"What big…" I trailed off suggestively, or did my best attempt to do so. Why me? I was, well, I was pretty good looking now too for once in my life so it made sense. Who wouldn't like the face I'd stolen from Inessa? I guess it made perfect sense from that perspective that Avaritia would start flirting with me. Ey and Castitas definitely had a whole tension thing going and…

I reached out toward Lupin and flicked em on the nose, "a big bad dog! Down!"

Ey stared at me, looking a little chagrined but mostly baffled for several long seconds before dissolving into hysterical laughter.

"Sorry," ey managed, "I shouldn't have come on so strong so fast when you're still all euphoric and confused and everything, you were just even more adorable this way and the look on your face when I started joking and…." whatever else ey said was garbled by another wave of laughter.

I tried to resist, but found myself joining in after a few seconds. We probably would have stayed there for a long time drunk on the moment, but the sound of loud footsteps and someone tinkering with the rooftop door, drove Avaritia to cut a panicked gap into the void and drag me through that terrifying non-space.

Except, even that wasn't so bad anymore. Perhaps I wasn't as miserable going in, or I had enough power to resist whatever that was, but I barely felt dizzy when we landed in the baroque halls of the Abyss.

And, the pillars and dark light didn't feel the least bit intimidating either. If anything it felt welcoming and warm like the cocoa Mr. Brandt had made for me on Tuesday morning.

Avaritia glanced at me, biting eir lower lip to hold back laughter. I looked back, holding eir gaze as best I could before we both dissolved into helpless giggles again.

"So," I wiped a tear out of my eye as the storm abated, "what have I actually signed up for anyway? I was… I couldn't really process much before, like I thought all of the Invidia stuff was just a strange dream I kept having and… Why do you just hand out power like this to…"

I needed this power, to be someone and to hold my own against everything that kept happening.

"People need it," Avaritia said, trading humor for an undercurrent of passion, "the light, living a good modest hard-working life where you never get angry, never depend so much on pride to keep you going that you abandon everything else isn't wrong?" ey shrugged, "It's like I said at the mall, I don't hate them, but, it's not wrong to feel something. Murder, sure, that's bad. Theft, okay, I'm for it, but that's fine to judge. But, feelings? You shouldn't try to ban feelings, and a lot of us use them to flourish even when they hurt."

Lupin began walking, gesturing for me to follow. "Like, take you. You tried hard to be a good boy, but that obviously wasn't going to work for you. Envy was the mirror you needed to be yourself and like, I've only been around you for a few minutes and you're actually smiling now instead of making those sad little fake smiles so people think you're okay."

I hesitated. I didn't think I'd done anything noble or valuable honestly. A better person would have kept living as I had, instead I'd betrayed everyone for my own selfish need to join them on stage. But, well, it was tempting to find something of value in the decision I'd made. I should have gone back. I should have let Inessa and the others help me, and it was only a fit of pique that had stopped me.

"It's less the philosophical defense of sin and more the whole, umm, turning people into monsters and making them rampage thing. How do we justify that?" I clarified.

Lupin nodded, "Right, people are repressed. They hold themselves back, bundling everything in deeper and deeper and live like zombies. The powerful do whatever they want, while normal people fear doing something 'immoral' and breaking the dumb rules someone in charge set up to try and make people think like him."

Ey took a deep breath and shook eir head.

"The Abyssal Seeds feed on these buried emotions and let people face the things they're hiding, and then we get stronger and we can do it better, to build a world of sin past all hypocrisy, where people can finally claim the tools to help themselves without any of the pretense that gets in the way."

I hesitated. There was something tempting about Avaritia's words, but it was hard to see myself in eir story. I'd envied the beautiful guardians of justice for their agency, their ability to simply be and do everything and stand for justice in high heels and skirts without any need for shame or fear. It was hard to find much moral in such naked desire for power that I'd literally stolen Inessa's face.

Avaritia pushed away from the pillar and approached me, "you get it, right partner?"

It was hard to meet eir gaze, "I-I guess, I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

Ey smiled, "Well! That's where you come in right?"

"I, what?" I responded intelligently.

"Well," ey offered, "if you're there fighting, you can help make sure civilians don't get hurt and if we start winning more, we can harvest more energy and finish revolutionizing both our worlds even faster!"

"I guess…." in a way ey was very much Inessa's mirror, someone with enough faith and beauty to claim eir own identity and ideology against the world. It was enough to make me faintly jealous, but I suppose that was simply my nature.

"I'm selfish," Avaritia added sadly, "I'm pretty awesome I mean, but, well, at the end of the day, party line aside, I'm not doing this for the world. I'm doing it because I think there are people like you, like Gula, like me who need it right now and, like, ultimately, I'd let the world burn if my important people get to be happy."

"I, uh, yours?"

"Well, obviously. I mean, the seduction is a work in progress, but you're adorable and we'll get there," no no, a part of me wanted to beg Lupin to stop teasing me, "The point being I need you. You're the type to think about things in the big picture, just like Gula was. I'm jumpy and fast and have all the great instincts to win, but I'm not the kind of person who can watch everyone around me! You're just what I need; a partner who can handle the small things because she's a genuinely caring girl who really wants to do the right thing."

Avaritia needed me. It was hard to believe, but I could feel eir sin, the absolute magnetic pull of eir greed, pressing down on me, biting with no intention of ever letting go. It was all but impossible to deny ey meant it.

"That's not fair," I muttered. How could I say no to being needed? Not as some vague presence or moral support or advice that never really amounted to much, but to stand on stage as a partner and guard eir back.

"Of course not, I'm a greedy greedy wolf. So, now that you've blossomed for real, partners?"

I shouldn't have; I really shouldn't. But, being valued for my power, even if it was just a twisted stolen reflection of Inessa's light was more than I could take.

"Okay, partner," the words burned in my mouth with a sweetness that I'd gladly let burn me to ash.

Ey pulled me into a right hug, then hopped away and spun dramatically, dipping into a bow at the end.

"Well partner, I'm Avaritia Wolf, any pronouns, but I am getting warmer and warmer on spivak, nice to meet you."

I grinned stupidly and offered a curtsy in return, "Invidia Bat and, umm, he/him I guess. It's not like I have a choice about it though."

Avaritia stared at me in stunned silence for several seconds before slowly burying their face in one palm. "What?" ey asked as if I had just punched them in the nose.

I shrugged, "Well, you know, I look like this but that's just because I'm copying Inessa and the others. I wouldn't want to, I dunno, appropriate transgender identity or anything."

"That's… no, no, let's just…" Avaritia stared at me intensely as ey thought for several long minutes. "Okay, Invidia! You copied Inessa's face, right?"

I nodded, where were ey going with this?

"So, obviously, well, being a beacon of envy it's only right to steal her pronouns too! It's a way of feeding your sin, right?"

"That makes sense," I admitted, tempted. "But, I wouldn't want to pretend to be something I'm not.

"Well," Avaritia continued, gaining confidence, "if you look like that and go by he/him, people will think you're a trans guy and we can all agree that that's never going to be an appropriate label for you so really you'd only be appropriating a trans identity if you tried that."

"I guess," I said reluctantly, "I can use she/her for the moment."

"You're as bad at this as Superbia" ey said with a feeling of deep pain, "but I guess it's kind of adorable when you do it. We can take our time with working through all that, partner."

I froze at the name. Avaritia flinched at my reaction.

"What do we do about him?" I couldn't face him, to face someone who was so much like dad in so many little ways aside from the ones where they'd both messed me up. I had nowhere else to go. I had no one else who could take me in as Invidia besides Avaritia. And what if I left? Would he blame em for failing to recruit me?

I looked into Avaritia's nervous eyes and feigned the confidence that had suddenly deserted me. "I guess we need to talk to him then?"

Grinning, Avaritia took my hand and dragged me toward the throne room I'd visited last time. I would have wondered if he would even be there, being as there would be little reason to pose dramatically in a throne room with no one around, but I could sense Superbia inside, It was impossible to escape his presence entirely of course, a single exceedingly bright clear note of incredible domineering authority that easily crushed mine and Avaritia's sounds.

Without waiting or giving me a week or two to prepare for this reunion, Avaritia boldly kicked open the doors and dragged me inside.

"Hiya boss," ey said with a confidence I couldn't understand. Superbia demanded respect. Superbia could obviously crush us for failing to respect him. Superbia was sitting in his chair talking quietly to a reedy figure in a gray robe that left literally everything about its occupant to the imagination.

"What is the meaning of this interruption?" Superbia demanded, even as his eyes focused on me for all my efforts to hide behind Avaritia. He snorted.

"Ah," the robed figure said. "So the fourth has finally awoken. With your leave, I will allow you to attend to this, we can discuss the fruit later." Their voice had a lyrical tilt to it, and a strange ethereal quality that felt familiar in a strange way. Where Superbia made a constant show of authority, the cloaked person managed to sound like they were above everything while miming deference.

Superbia waved a hand and, without a word to either Avaritia or me, the cloak collapsed in on itself, vanishing like it had never been there.

Avaritia wasted no time in dropping to one knee. Awkwardly, I followed. His scent was in the air. His voice was here and somehow all the worse for existing outside my memories. And yet, his raw presence dwarfed even that in a way that made me marvel at how blind I'd been to think I could ever escape him.

It was easier to kneel. It was easier to avoid looking at him, to avoid letting him see my expression. I knew that if I let myself growl or lunge at him or run or faint or anything I would rather do than have this conversation that I, and probably Avaritia, would die.

So I waited in silence as Superbia examined me.

"This," he said at length with the air of a manager trying to figure out how exactly his employees had done something profoundly incomprehensible, "Is not at all what I was expecting. Explain yourself Avaritia."

"Her sin," Avaritia grinned, "Is envy. She envies the Saints so much for their might, their heroism, their everything, that her power turned her into their mirror when she awoke. She's been changing for weeks now as she's been half-formed, and her awakening catalyzed the transformation. Treating her as she looks is the best way to help strengthen her sin."

"I… see," Superbia said, in the tone of someone who was pretending to understand the plot. "So, this is Charleton after all. I'll admit, this is not quite the worthy protegee I was anticipating."

"My name," I found myself saying, wondering why I had to say it when the words might mean my end, or at least all sorts of agony, "Is Invidia Bat."

Neither spoke for a moment, and I worried that even the oblique defiance would be too much for Superbia to tolerate.

Finally he chuckled, "Perhaps it has some potential after all. Well Invidia, can you speak for yourself, or are you going to cower behind my wolf all day?"

"I," I didn't know what to say. I had to humor him; I would never tell him about that strange fluttering joy that his manipulations had brought me to, he didn't get that. "I am just glad for the opportunity to embrace my sins." I said awkwardly instead of anything real.

He nodded. "Avaritia will answer your questions about the Forest. Leave us for now." There was a hint of disgust in his tone as he waved me away so that he could speak more with Avaritia, as if he found the act of seeing me to lessen him in some way. I bristled, then all but ran out the door and didn't stop.

---

My feet dragged me through the labyrinth that was the Abyssal Forest. The way Superbia called me an it had fatally crushed any feelings of euphoria or novelty and brought me solidly back to myself. What was I doing? Why on Earth had I thought that this was a possibility at all? Was this what I'd betrayed Inessa for, why I'd stolen her face and pretended that I could almost believe it was mine?

I was wrong and sick and broken. I'd traded my soul for what? A chance to get the monster of the week plot from the other side of things before Inessa burned me to ash like I deserved?
Somehow I found myself standing in front of an open door. The nearly empty room inside was familiar; with a four poster bed and not much else. This was where I'd been stored the last time I'd been kidnapped, the time when my friends—my former friends—had risked their lives to save me so I could do what? Give in and come back on my own.

At least now they wouldn't waste the effort. And sure, this way I wouldn't be a strain on Inessa's family, I wouldn't poison them this way. But how would they react? They'd taken me in when I had nowhere else to go but there or…

They'd done that and I'd run away like this. Inessa could hardly tell them I was evil now, so they'd be sick with worry. I'd done that to them. I'd burned every bridge except for the lonely wolf desperate enough to settle for me as eir partner and I'd probably ruin that too in this whole whatever it was.

I laughed once. At least I wouldn't have to worry about messing things up with Superbia. There was one bridge I wouldn't regret burning. "It" he'd called me. That's what I was now. A monster wearing a mask to pretend I had any of the qualities I admired in Inessa. Invidia hadn't changed me really. Envy would never change me, lest the face in the mirror lose its dual meanings of offer and taunt.

Avaritia found me pressed up into a corner of the room hugging a pillow to death. I glanced up as ey sat down on the floor a few feet away from me and proceeded to file eir nails.

"Hey," ey said. "Sorry about Superbia. Want to," ey hesitated momentarily. "If you need to leave or go that's…"

"I think I've burned every other option," I admitted at length between the sniffling.

Some of the tension fled Avaritia's spine even as eir worry grew. "You shouldn't stay just for that."

I hesitated. Every instinct screamed at me to say something nice about why I was really here or find something to reassure em somehow. And yet, dad had still thrown a bottle at my head; I'd still stabbed Inessa, Temperance and Ida in the back no matter how much I tried to keep that all up.

"I don't know if I believe in any of this." I said eventually, "I just had to embrace sin; not for any big good reason; I just needed to pretend I could change to keep holding on at all and I can't go back, so…"

And there it was. The truth, the simple fact that I wasn't a good person; I wasn't here to do the right thing, just because I'd set one foot in front of the other and this ended up happening and now Avaritia could acknowledge that and I could end up as alone as I deserved.

"Invidia," Avaritia said seriously, "can I hug you?"

I mumbled a confused 'what' which somehow managed to sound enough like a yes that Avaritia scooched over and gently wrapped an arm around me, pushing my head onto eir shoulder. I didn't protest.

"It doesn't matter, you know? There's no point in making a space for sin if we're only making a space for people who think the exact same way I do? You're here because you needed your vices, because no amount of trying to be the right kind of person would break you out of that frame they'd stuck you in and something had to give and that's why you belong here as long as you want to, partner."

Ey froze for a moment and eir voice was much less soothing as they hastily tried to clarify. "Umm, not that, if you're having second thoughts about the way we've been teaming up and all that's okay. I know you're close to them and I don't want to force you to fight anyone or anything, but just, umm, you're my partner like in a more abstract way that's umm, well not like that, either but…"

Despite myself I giggled.

"If," I hesitated. My sin wanted me to fight the Saints. Avaritia's kindness was far too heavy to go without giving something back. "If you can make sure I don't have to work with Superbia too much." Once again I'd been given some chance to walk it a little back, to go tell the Saints that actually the whole transformation and big speech had totally been brainwashing and I was fixed now so could they help me get rid of the extremely gorgeous wings and the new far better face. "I'm in."

---

Avaritia brought me a new phone and a new laptop that evening, along with some of the worst take-out pizza I'd ever had. Ey was gentle, careful not to push, to let me get my feet under me and to run interference between me and Superbia.

The castle was empty save for Avaritia, myself, and Superbia Dragon. Even the cloaked figure that had been with Superbia when we first arrived was nowhere to be seen. It was a strange liminal place, a hodgepodge of cultural artifacts that somehow got cell phone reception despite being in another dimension. Finding your way around was more an art than a science and my initial wanderings frequently ended in Avaritia escorting me back to my room once ey got worried at how long I'd been missing.

At least ey had managed to find me a phone and a laptop somehow, so I could always call if I got really lost. It was easier not to think of the how Avaritia had likely acquired those things.

Besides wandering through my new home, the next few days dissolved into anxious waiting. Avaritia seemed to take the initiative to talk to Superbia on my behalf, and while I hated the loss of agency, it wasn't hard to see that neither of us wanted to have anything to do with the other. Besides, Superbia wasn't a big 'taking suggestions' type of leader or a 'listening to other people' type of leader either as far as I could tell. So I doubt I really missed much hiding in my room or soaring around town at night.

Not, of course, that I wasn't busy. Avaritia suspected others with the potential to become Abyssal Beasts might lurk in our school, so, while Mr. Noir had abandoned the location after finding me, ey wanted me to infiltrate. And that meant practicing to the point that I could pass as a normal girl.

And that brought us to the present moment: the first of what Avaritia insisted was going to be a series of shopping trips to help me rebuild an appropriate wardrobe for a normal girl. I couldn't pretend to be a real girl if I couldn't look the part and obviously I needed practice at pretending to be her in public. The mall had reopened today, and Avaritia had insisted we return. Which was fine, except practicing being a girl meant going out in public pretending to be a girl. And, much like my animal inspiration, I really had no business whatsoever being around people or loud noises or out in daylight where anyone could see the fake girl and realize what a fraud she was and then they could…

"It'll be fine," Avaritia said with a confidence I couldn't bring myself to trust.

"I'm not," I started, trying to compact my body as much as possible in the vain hope of reducing my visibility.

"Anyway," ey ignored my panic, "Before we get going, you really should pick a new name."

"Invidia!" I snapped back easily. I'd thrown away everything for that title. I could think of nothing else.

Avaritia sighed, then shook eir head. "No, no, like, of course your real identity is Invidia, but if you're going to sneak in to school and 'pretend' to be a girl, you can't exactly go around telling the saints who you are can you?"

Ey had a point; that would be ruinously awkward among other things. "Just pick something; whatever works," I shrugged. It wouldn't be my name.

Avaritia gave me a look. "Nope! You have to do it. It's your name after all."

Actually it was a fake name. But, Avaritia was immovable on the oddest issues. I tried to imagine her; the girl I'd pretend to be. She was cute of course. I'd stolen Inessa's face and people had to like her for that. But, she couldn't talk about her family, she couldn't know much about girly things or anything like that. She was a little shy, a little nervous around people. She liked bats, I decided somewhat arbitrarily. That was only reasonable after all. Bats, as I'd been learning, were pretty awesome.

"Umm," I knew what name I wanted, but I couldn't say it.

"Oh come on, out with it!" Avaritia grinned as ey pulled me toward the mall. "I named myself Lupin you know, so you can hardly do worse than that."

That was fair--not that Lupin wasn't a great name, but even I could admit it was almost as on the nose as Temperance. On the other hand, we could match.

I stuttered the first few times I tried to say it, an endeavor made not at all easier by the fact that Avaritia had spun around and was practically panting with anticipation as ey waited for the name.

"C-Chiroptera!" I finally managed to squeak out.

"Chiroptera," Avaritia muttered to eirself, drawing out the last sound like the name was a chew toy, "Chiroptera, Chiroptera, Chiro, Chiro!"

"W-why are you doing that!" I managed, blushing brightly. We were standing just inside the mall's main entrance after all.

"You make the cutest little squeaking sounds every time you hear your name and that just makes me want to say it more, Miss Chiroptera!"

"S-stop that!" I glared, stamping my foot on the ground, "Besides my name," I dropped my voice to a whisper, "is Invidia. Chiro's just an identity we made up; a fake girl who doesn't exist!"

Something about the name sounded like a wish. Chiro was a nice girl, a good girl, an earnest girl whose parents may have been strict but didn't hate her and who was capable of managing the day to days of life. She would help how she could and she'd be happy doing the right thing; not so desperate to matter that she let her envy devour her alive. It wasn't my name, it wouldn't ever be my name, but the way Avaritia said it like that made me love it all the same.

"Right," Avaritia sighed, "though honestly I have no idea how anyone was supposed to think you were at all a boy in the first place."

"You thought I was an incel when we met," I riposted triumphantly.

"Aww, are you still holding that against me, partner?" The line was delivered with mock sarcasm, but I could hear the hint of guilt buried in eir voice.

"No," I admitted reluctantly.

"Then it doesn't count! Even I make mistakes on rare occasions," Avaritia stuck eir tongue out at me. "Anyway, you don't need to be nervous. Just, have fun with it! Even if you can't believe you're a beautiful girl just yet; you know the face you're wearing, right? Trust in the power that gave you that body. And, if you legitimately can't take it, just say the word and we'll leave."

Right, no matter how much some part of me expected my first outing in public to end up with everyone staring and laughing at the weird boy in the dress; my body right now was one I'd stolen from, mostly, Inessa. And that meant my body was beautiful right now. My sin had granted me that much.

"Besides," Avaritia flexed eir bicep, "I'm right here; your big bad wolf ready to tear up anyone that looks at his cute little bat the wrong way."

I couldn't help it; I reached out and patted Avaritia on the head, "good dog," I muttered much more quietly than intended. Still, I barely stumbled over the words and I could count that as a win for my self-confidence.

Ey didn't react. Lupin just stood there in stunned silence, slowly turning bright red.

"Such a good guard dog," I cooed again with something almost resembling confidence.

"T-that's not fair!" ey managed at last, "when I'm not even allowed to do anything serious back or anything!"

I giggled. Despite our exchanges, we'd attracted no unusual attention. Why would we? We were just a pair of high schoolers goofing off on a weekend afternoon. I could almost believe that enough to bury the anxiety.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"T-that's cheating!" Avaritia responded, "G-going from that to that kind of sincerity like that; what kind of monstrous partner am I raising here?"

I grinned back, "A terrifying bat that's almost brave enough to actually go look at clothes."

Avaritia grabbed me by the hand and dragged me toward the mall, "that's the spirit! But you're doing a lot more than looking after that trick Ms. Chiroptera."

"Hah ha, nice joke," I grinned. Avaritia returned the gesture, but eir smile was practically bloodthirsty.

"Please say it's a joke?" I repeated, suddenly right back where we'd started. "You're joking! L-look, browsing is one thing and buying is maybe a yes, but my heart isn't ready for that kind of ordeal!"

----

I stared at the thing in Lupin's hands. It was a single piece of purple and green plaid fabric; it had pleats.

"Lupin," I said with all the force I could muster, "I can't. N-not that! That's, like, people will think I'm some weirdo with a schoolgirl thing! It's lewd! It's inappropriate! It's too far!"

Lupin stared at me with cold uncompromising eyes. "Chiro," ey said with all the finality of Saint Peter announcing someone's fate, "it's a midi."

"I," I said, retreating to the perfect defense, "have no clue what that word means."

"Chiro you are so dumb sometimes," Lupin said, staring at me with a deep-seated affection. "The store's practically empty, no one's using the changing rooms and even if they were; you're a cute girl. No one's going to judge you or stare at you for any reason besides that. It's okay Chiro, you got this girl." Ey shoved the skirt into my hands and gave me a gentle shove on the back.
"I-it's not fair when you just use that name like that!" I whispered angrily as I marched to the changing room in defeat.

The skirt, despite destroying me, seemed cute and it spun with me when I twirled; but Lupin wouldn't let me get it even after ey forced me to parade around in the thing. Instead Lupin forced me to try on a dozen different offerings across half as many stores, nodding to emself again and again.

Finally, whatever fragile string had held my psyche together for the duration of our trip started to fray.

"Lupin, I can't do any more, please."

Ey surveyed me up and down. I was wearing a frilly green blouse with all sorts of ribbons built into it and a pair of black leggings.

"You can steal things from people! Like appearances and magic," Lupin said thoughtfully, "So just copy my confidence in my looks for a bit and we can go on for a little more!"

"I what?!" I offered in rebuttal.

"Come on, you're envious of it a little right?" Lupin grinned at me toothily.

"M-maybe, but.." I couldn't believe ey was seriously suggesting this.

"But what?" Lupin asked, somehow genuinely curious.

"I'm not going to do that. It's," I hesitated, unable to voice how off that felt and suddenly gripped by a feeling of intense unease, as if the winds that kept my fragile soul inflated was about to scour away this new face, "I need to sit down."

"It's okay," Lupin pulled me to one of many chairs in the changing room, "you shouldn't go against your sin like that you know, but it'll pass soon."

"So," I managed, struggling to distract myself from the horrible scouring sensation, "because I felt envy of you, but I wasn't willing to let it reign and imitate…"

I'd known, intellectually, that it could happen, but there was horror in seeing how easy it would be to lose everything I'd traded my life for.

"Probably," Lupin admitted awkwardly, "Sorry about that."

Ey wasn't transformed, so eir tail was only metaphorically between eir legs.

"It's fine," I managed eventually, "it's probably better to feel that now than in battle or sometime important or something."

Lupin gave me a thumbs up, "Thatta girl! It can be helpful too sometimes; I'm not just saying that to get out of responsibility! The better we understand how we relate to our sins, the more we can draw on them."

I wondered about that. What was envy really? I admired Inessa, Ida and Temperance; and Lupin. That went without saying. But admiration wasn't a sin. Or at least, it didn't feel sinny. Envy's power was imitation, well and inexplicably, bat wings and, I somehow knew, sonic blasts; but mostly imitation. So what was the difference between aspiring to be like someone and envying them?

"It's okay if you don't know; better actually," Lupin's momentary guilt had immediately given way to suave confidence. "Sit with it for a while, let it come to you and see what your sin likes and what it doesn't. You'll figure out more eventually."

I nodded. "Lupin?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah partner?" ey grinned.

"Can you tell me more about, well, us? I know you've said why you want to work with me, why we're doing what we do; but, where does this power come from? What are we and how are we doing this?"

Ey grimaced, "I guess you'll need to know. But, it's kind of a long story. How about we grab lunch to go? Then we can talk back at the Forest?"

I nodded, "that sounds good."

Carefully I stood, surprised to find the pain of defying my sin had faded nearly as fast as it had come. Slowly I marched to the changing room and, with only momentary regret, abandoned fancy ribbons in favor of the simple t-shirt I'd arrived in. For all it threatened to give me a heart attack every moment and for all I'd probably need to go hide under my blankets for a day or two to recuperate, it had still been a daydream I wouldn't forget.

----

We sat on my bed poking at our take out lo mein with mixed enthusiasm. I wasn't a big fan of eating on the bed, but my room at the forest had no furnishings beyond the bed, a threadbare carpet, and a vanity Lupin had somehow added as a housewarming gift the day after I'd arrived.

"So," ey said, surprisingly hesitant, "I guess I should start at the beginning. How much do you know about the Saints?"

"Not much," I admitted. "They were opening up a little bit, but I don't think they wanted me too involved in things even at the end and, well, I got the whole making Resinners thing, but I don't know the why or what it's supposed to do."

Avaritia took a moment to gather emself.

"Okay," ey hesitated. "So, this is what they told me growing up, you know, and I don't trust it anymore, not all of it, but…"

Ey set down eir chopsticks and sighed and, after gathering emself for a few more moments, began to speak.

"Long ago, people were weak and powerless, and the forest in which we all lived was dark and scary and full of monsters. The children of the forest hid and ran and tried to survive and eventually they found themselves seeking shelter under a tall ancient tree."

"The First Tree?" I asked, wondering where ey could have possibly heard the story.

Avaritia nodded, "The First Tree was kind and wise and decided to shelter the fragile children of the forest who knew nothing. And the Children grew safe and venerated the First Tree in return. But," Avaritia shrugged, "you can't really live just around a single tree. The children grew curious about the dark forest around them, so the First Tree sent a messenger to give them a single fruit, that contained all its knowledge, to help them understand the forest, to let them find the power in themselves to stand in the darkness and thrive."

Ey hesitated, "The rest is a bit different from what they made you learn in school, but Superbia's like old old and he was there for a lot of it, so I trust his version."

I made a note to inquire about the version Avaritia had learned first some other time; it sounded more credible.
"But only a few people could use the fruit, those who were willing to dive into their own desires, who were willing to try to grow and change and be more, to become beasts that could survive in the forest."

"The fruit is where those seeds we used came from?" I wondered out loud.

Avaritia poked me in the ribs, "Yes, but don't interrupt. Anyway, the other children of the forest were worried about those who started to explore. They decided that it was bad to use the Tree's gifts, that the Beasts were monsters who needed to be stopped, that the First Tree was wrong to let them become Beasts in the first place; so they stole a branch from the First Tree and carved it into weapons that they could use to get rid of the Beasts."

Avaritia paused dramatically and looked to me, expectations clear in eir eyes.

"The Saints' powers?" I asked obligingly.

Ey nodded, then poked me again, "Yes, but I said not to interrupt!"

I debated fighting them over the obvious provocation, but settled for sullenly eating my noodles as I waited for them to finish.

"And well, both sides agree that the Beasts lost. The Saints back then won and banished sin from the heart of the Forest and started to teach everyone to be virtuous and good and…" ey glowered.

"It'd have killed Gula," ey said at last. "It was killing her to be the kind of boy they'd do anything to force her to be, because mandatory virtue is just something you use to hurt people until they can do the same."

Lupin grinned, "And sure virtue sounds nice. Let's make everyone be good and all. Except, well, if you're someone who wants things or needs things or doesn't quite fit in the right way; people can be 'generous' with correcting your behavior; they can hurt you out of kindness to teach you humility, you know, and even if you're someone who can make it through all that, it still breaks you a little inside, right? We need to want, to crave, to rage!"

"Oh," I wondered idly, what I would choose if I could have opted to have all my envy and its attendant wants stolen from me entirely. It seemed instinctively better than just living with it unsatisfied. It wasn't any less horrifying than the way I'd dealt with my sins, not really.

"Any questions?" Avaritia asked after ey'd settled down and resumed messily getting eir lo mein all over my bedspread.

"So, you're," I hesitated. It didn't really change anything, but it was strange to realize how foreign Avaritia really was, "You're one of the Children of the Forest?"

Ey shook eir head. "Nope! Avaritia Wolf is a Beast of the Abyssal Forest. But," ey gave up trying to force a grin, "yeah, that's what we used to be."

"And Superbia?" I pushed aside the familiar sensations his name caused.

Lupin shrugged, "The same. Gula decided to run and, well, I couldn't let her do that alone, could I? And, you know, recent choices aside, she's basically always right when she actually makes up her mind. It was… close," ey shuddered, and I wondered how old they had been when they decided it was better to risk a dark forest only Beasts could survive than stay in their hometown.

"But, we found Superbia sealed away in the Forest from all the way back when that first war happened, and we let him out and he gave the seeds that let us turn into Beasts so we could join him against the tyranny of virtue."

That put a spin on Superbia's power. How much longer had he been doing this than any of us?

"And Michael and that robed guy with Superbia?" I asked. Lupin already knew Inessa was Castitas somehow or other. So naming the Saints' mascot seemed like it was only a small betrayal on top of everything else.

"No clue who Michael is and," Avaritia frowned, "No real clue who the robed guy is either to be honest."

There were so many questions I wanted to ask. Nothing about this idea that the Forest had a civilization or people just living there matched with any of what little exposition I'd managed to wrangle from Michael or the Saints. And, I couldn't believe that Inessa of all people was the vanguard of some kind of dystopian society.

"Okay, so why are you here?"

"I'm getting to it, okay! This isn't easy to talk about!" Lupin glared at me.

"Sorry, sorry," I took a large bite of lo mein and waited for Lupin to get back to eir story.

"Superbia knew we'd lose if we fought, and he found a way to a world outside the forest entirely. So, we figured we could come here and empower our seeds and recruit new allies like you! People that need their darker emotions; that crave something more than they can have being all nice and kind and doing what society wants them to do."

I wasn't sure how to square my own envy with that; but any way to pretend that I wasn't a monster who'd sold myself out to team evil just so I could stand on the stage instead of just being a powerless bystander posed obvious temptations.

"And making Resinners?"

"The more monsters we make, the more power of sin we spread, the stronger we can get and then we can go back and show everyone they were wrong. Superbia has it all figured out."

And that was the problem. I trusted Lupin; despite every sane part of me telling me I probably shouldn't. I couldn't bring myself to think anything but the worst of our former guidance counselor. He was too much like dad in so many little ways to feel otherwise.

The next morning, Lupin brought me bags upon bags of clothing from the mall.

--

So, I found myself modeling an ever growing wardrobe. Lupin, I was sure, could have, and — when I was watching enough to guilt em into it — did, pay for things, but as the beast of greed, ey never seemed to get caught stealing anything and did so almost compulsively. I didn't have any money and it seemed silly to sell my soul to an evil empire and draw the line at shoplifting.

Which brought us to our current predicament.

"I think," I said, bitterly as I stared at my face in the mirror, "that this is an instrument of torture sent from the heavens to punish us."

Seeing myself in this body, embarrassingly, still sent a tiny jolt of electricity coursing down my back, as if I needed the constant reminder that this was me now, someone powerful and magical in her own right. That did not actually make my current task any easier.

"Ah," Lupin—who was in eir human form today—quirked an eyebrow at me, "Inessa does this every day you know."

It didn't matter that Avaritia's ploy was agonizingly transparent.

"Then," I sighed theatrically, "As the better twin, I suppose there is no choice if I am to be a worthy partner to you."

"I'm glad you understand, partner; now get back to practicing your eyeliner. Good may be able to show up to school in a sweatshirt she bought at Old Navy, but sin has standards."

I giggled, and accidentally traced a line diagonally across the entirety of my eyelid. The panicked attempt to get the eyeliner away from my eye before it did any more damage somehow ended up with smudges on my nose… and my cheek… and a mark on my hand that ended up mostly ending up on my neck in short order.

I cursed as Avaritia plucked the dangerous implement from my hands and replaced it with a makeup wipe. I should have let that get me down, a failure to acclimate, proof I'd never infiltrate successfully. Instead, something about seeing Avaritia failing to suppress a smirk just made me giggle instead.

"Don't worry everyone does, well, something almost like that more or less." ey said confidently, "No one's born knowing how to draw a perfect wingtip."

I sighed. "You're saying I'm basically like a twelve year old girl."

Avaritia gave me a thumbs up. "Well, I have seen your taste in TV you know."

"Hey!" I stomped my foot and pouted at her, probably proving her point more than anything else I'd done. Then I sighed and asked the question again. "You're sure we don't have to hurt them?"

Avaritia shook eir head. "We don't want a world without virtue, just one that has a place for sin."

Ey gently tapped the side of the pen against my eyelid, expertly tracing thin lines above each eye, "Hold still now and let me show you how it's done."

I did my best to listen, but I couldn't really see em work. Still, I couldn't help but enjoy something about the moment.

"Sure they'll get a little roughed up, for as long as they position themselves as the guardians of the status quo, but they're tough and, in the end, they'll see we're right."

I stared at myself in the mirror, admiring the perfect cat's eyes Lupin had given me, "if you say so," I hesitated for a moment, "I guess I should get going."

Lupin grinned, "You'll be fine Chiro, I have faith in you and I want to hear all about it when you get back!"

I transformed, drawing out a tiny cloud from the miasma sealed inside my heart. Then I inhaled deeply and screamed, shattering the world in front of me like a pane of glass. This was it. My first day in school as Chiro. Despite all my desensitization training at the mall; I remained inexplicably terrified.


NEXT WEEK ON SHINING VIRTUE ANGELIC HEART!!!

Inessa takes advantage of the odd break from monster attacks to work through her feelings on Invidia. Meanwhile a mysterious new girl transfers into school. Michael detects something odd about her, but, before the girls can investigate, Invidia and Avaritia turn the chemistry teacher into a resinner and set him running amok around the school.

Tune in for Episode 23: The Fourth Saint?! A Mysterious Transfer Student Arrives!

Spoiler: Author's Notes

And here we go! Chiro finds that actually it turns out that selling out all your morals and friends to turn into a cool goth girl does not solve all life's problems.

As usual, I'd love to thank my wonderful beta readers, @Gargulec, @NemoMarx, @Chehrazad and @veteranMortal. Gargulec is a great academic and gender theorist who writes a ton of interesting essays on SV. If you haven't seen them, you should go take a look: here.