Some of the story tropes here I actually have seen, read before... in the..other media, unconventional storytelling techniques, hehe, yeah.
This story hits so many familiar beats in my own life, too. Letting the mask be all that there is, dissociating into complete numbness. Letting my intelligence and misguided 'wisdom' be my own torture rack. Following the roles suggested to me, to do
something, only to we wither away quietly. Dream, as my only real way out, but ever left dissatisfied. My faith cast off next with the guilt, to keep exploring myself, yet not set free.
One could say, that I came all this way also through "sin", as well, but the vague intuitions, half-realized dreams, blind luck and obsessive need to
understand helped, too. Philosophy only to understand empathy better, not solve or resolve anything within. Hope always there, one way or another. To this day.
Of course, there were no guardian angels nor caring demons in my story, at least not at the beginning
.
Just a mix of somewhat neglectful, somewhat supportive people, deep in their own shit.
And my story haven't ended yet, of course, no matter where I put the dot. Wounds not healed, anxieties not calmed, uncertainties and risks not solved. 'Step after bloody step'.
Many beautiful cherished things, as well, things I don't want to lose, things I want to see blossom and bloom into more beautiful things.
Life being life.
