Breakfast proved a strange, if not unwelcome, experience. I was used to cold cereal, granola or a piece of toast, not hot eggs and home cooked bacon, courtesy of Mr. Brandt. I was familiar with Inessa's parents, and the odd way they seemed so eager to make sure I was happy and well looked after; but the kidnapping had driven their habitual fussing to a fever pitch.
"Are you sure you're alright? Honestly, I have no clue how the school board can think this state of affairs is okay," Mrs. Brandt was the breadwinner of the family, a no-nonsense lawyer who shared her daughter's cute looks and inner fire. She had a temper Inessa lacked, and was more than willing to start a fight with anyone standing against her family's best interests.
"It is a bit much," Mr. Brandt admitted, adjusting his glasses. My dad looked down on him for being a house husband but I'd always found him reassuring, a softer gentler balance to his wife's eagerness to leap headfirst into every noble cause. He was a little chubby, with a pleasant smile and an interest in cooking and gardening that everyone in the family enjoyed immensely.
"Anyway," he continued, looking to me, "Emma and I were talking and, well, Charlie…" he hesitated, unsure of what to say.
His wife intervened, "If you ever need a place to stay, our house is your house for as long as you need it, no questions asked. Honestly, you're wasted on that…"
"Emma," he cut her off, seeing my expression sour. She crossed her arms and gave him a look that would have had me running away, but she also leaned back a little and allowed him to talk. "What we mean is that you'll always have a place here. We don't know everything you're dealing with, and you don't need to feel pressured to talk about anything that you'd rather avoid as long as..."
"My dad's not," I wanted to cry or thank them or tell them this was one of the nicest things anyone had offered me. Instead I hid behind my canned lines, "he's never hurt me or anything like that. He's just… He's not doing great with mom leaving. And, I mean, I really appreciate the offer, really and I'll remember it if I ever need help, but, monster attacks aside, I'm doing fine."
Mrs. Brandt gently placed her hand over her husband's, squeezing it comfortingly, "Just remember we're in your corner if you need us, okay?"
"I," I froze, "I have to go home to change and get ready for school. I really can't afford to miss any more class!" I stood up, leaving my half-finished breakfast and made my way to the door. Neither Inessa's parents, nor Inessa, tried to stop me.
I stopped with the door open, "Thanks. Really, thanks."
I couldn't bring myself to wait for anyone to respond.
Inessa's house was only a few doors down from mine. That was half of what had led to us becoming friends in the first place after all. So it wasn't too terrible to drag my sore body down the street and quietly sneak inside. Dad often slept in if he didn't have work early, and I didn't want to risk waking him.
Fortunately it wasn't that hard to dash upstairs, throw some water on my face and swap into clean clothes in time to meet up with an overprotective Inessa and walk to school. A part of me wanted to stay home, but I really couldn't afford to.
And, honestly, defaulting to my routine anxieties felt almost comfortable. They made it easier to not think about how close I'd come to becoming a monster or how Inessa now knew I knew and that my relationship with her group of friends would have to change or how I could have died or how much Mr. Noir had made me trust him before he betrayed me or how I still didn't know what I wanted or…
Besides, while my captivity had felt like it stretched on for ages, Inessa and the others had, apparently, rescued me in a handful of hours. The only school I'd actually missed this time was from running away at lunch.
I froze as we crossed the gates, and a few lingering students immediately started whispering with each other and staring pointedly at us. At me.
"I-Inessa?" I asked nervously, "How much of what happened yesterday do you think got out?" On second thought, some normal anxieties were worse than the monsters.
She laughed awkwardly, her expression mirroring my own dawning horror, "I went after you as soon as the vice principal stopped yelling at Temperance… But, uh, a lot of people noticed your meltdown."
I winced, "On second thought, I think I'm feeling too sick to attend today after all! Horrible things, monster attacks! Trauma!"
I spun around to run only to practically crash face first into Lupin Noir. If my sudden (accidental) attempt to headbutt her caught Lupin by surprise, she didn't show it at all, slipping effortlessly around me and even offering me a hand to help me catch my own balance.
"Good morning C!" she said as if seeing me was the high point of her day.
"Eh!" Inessa looked torn between shock at this interaction and a panicked desire to hide from her crush.
"G-good morning?" I offered back, "You seem oddly friendly today. Trying to ply us for information about yesterday?"
"Nah, basically everyone heard all about that, at least looking at the school group chats, so it isn't really news. Besides I wouldn't gossip about a co-conspirator like that!"
"EH!" Inessa glanced between Lupin and me, utterly confused by this development.
"Co-conspirator?" I tried.
"Exactly!" she mimed shooting me with finger guns before flashing a thumbs up, "that's right, gotta keep that all on the DL at school, don't we," she paused and glanced toward Inessa.
"EHHHH!" Inessa obliged.
"I really have no idea what you're talking about."
Lupin waved my objections away, "Anyway this thing she's doing is kinda adorable. Can I keep her?"
"kpdoajfs;-ga," said Inessa.
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't object to Lupin being friendly, and it was good to see she'd gotten over whatever had had her upset the other day, but I did not need Lupin randomly deciding she was my best friend for no reason on top of everything else.
"We've talked, like, once! Why are you acting like you're my best friend now?"
"Ooh, bestie!" I was sure, on some level, that she was doing this to be as annoying as possible, but she did seem bizarrely self-satisfied with the bit, "and we've definitely talked at least twice and they were both good conversations! Did I break her?" Lupin flounced toward Inessa, who responded by doubling down on her statue impression. Lupin placed her hand on the other girl's forehead. Lovely, Inessa would be freaking out about this for days.
"No sign of a fever," Lupin had to know exactly what she was doing, "Anyway," she spun from Inessa to face me again, "we should totally hang out soon! So be a good girl and don't get in any more trouble at school. You got that?"
With a casual flip of her hand, Hurricane Lupin departed toward first period. She did not wait for a response. I shook my head and began the process of moving a near catatonic Inessa to her locker as she tried unsuccessfully to ask me what had just happened.
At least the distraction helped insulate me from the stares and whispers I was getting. For all she was more than a little incomprehensible, Lupin seemed nice enough, and if she'd been trying some weird seventh-dimensional chess play to distract me from my ongoing social demise, it was both incredibly sweet of her and had somehow mostly succeeded.
Well, at least until fourth period where I had no Inessa or Temperance or even an Ida to shield me from the gazes I was getting. I'd gone from a person who was generally known, but mostly ignored, to the center of attention. It was hell.
I hated the thought that people were looking at me, actually observing how lame and gross I was. I hadn't even showered that morning; there'd been no time after everything and I'd been so focused on avoiding dad that it hadn't felt worth more than washing my face. I tried to hide myself even deeper in my hoodie, but it didn't help. I knew that most people didn't care; that not all of our AP Psychology class' ever-present whispers were about me; but enough were that it felt like any of them might be about me. And that made the difference almost academic.
I struggled not to overhear, not to hone in on just what the rumor mill had done with my breakdown, but focusing on class was impossible. When the bell rang, I practically bolted from my seat, which couldn't have done any wonders for the state of things. At least, no one seemed to have gotten the mistaken impression that I was transgender.
I wanted to scream, to punch something, to run away from school again. But I couldn't afford to miss classes and, well, even if this was awful for me, it wasn't like anyone was really to blame here. Mr. Noir or no, what I'd said hadn't been a lie. And, while my own wants remained frustratingly incomprehensible, it wasn't as if snapping like that had been anything but my own desires made manifest.
Usually I'd have the respite of eating lunch with Inessa, but Temperance would absolutely know that and I was sure she'd try to apologize as if she'd done something wrong. And she hadn't done anything wrong. All three of them must have gone together to save me from Superbia.
But, a petty horrible little part of me still blamed her for trying to help. I told myself that I was avoiding her because I didn't know if I'd lash out or shut down or do something nasty if she tried to apologize, but I feared that deep down a dark little part of me just felt like it would be crueler to keep her waiting. And, besides, they'd all know I knew The Secret and while that had helped with Inessa, how could I know that Temperance or Ida wouldn't hold a grudge over having their identities in an outsider's hands?
Either way, I snuck into a corner of the cafeteria and ate my lunch in silence, doing my best to ignore the looks. And besides, I was tired. I wasn't up to dealing with people or with my own issues. I wasn't usually fond of naps, but it felt so much easier to simply drift through lunch.
I was able to make my escape from school before Inessa could try to walk me home and/or put Temperance in my path. I offered her an apologetic text, with a note that I was going home to rest up so she shouldn't worry, and made my escape.
Dad didn't ask about where I'd been, so I assumed the Brandt's had told him. Whatever they'd said, he was oddly subdued that afternoon. That left me free to manage texts from the Saints and reassure each of them that I was okay. Even if I was annoyed at Temperance, I wasn't going to give her the silent treatment or anything. It was always easier to talk through text than speech. There were concerns expressed that no one had seen me at lunch or in the afternoon, but I managed to convince everyone I was okay enough. With the promise of a proper debrief later in the week, I managed to escape too much recollection of yesterday's affairs.
---
I dreamt of a night that was mine to do with as I wished. I pranced through the city streets without a care, singing along to the rhythms of passing cars and the night breeze. I winked at the strange shadows that walked where people would have been were I awake and moved with a careless grace I could never achieve in a thousand years. I paused, eventually, to examine my reflection in a department store window.
Ah, so this was another magical girl dream, I realized as I offered my reflection my best attempt at a curtsy. Well, almost. The green haired girl in the mirror was far more defined than any other girl I'd dreamt of being. Her costume, aside from the matching green highlights, was as pitch black as Avaritia's. Her hair was in a ponytail, reminiscent of Inessa's aside from the color. Actually, her everything was reminiscent of Inessa. It was all just a bit smaller, a bit cuter, a bit girlier, a bit better.
Well, this made a twisted kind of sense. Avaritia'd been talking about being partners, welcoming me, not just as a childhood friend but as an equal, a piece on the board. Of course that impossible offer would find purchase deep in the soft places of my heart.
And, of course, I'd never take it in real life. I'd never even think of betraying Inessa or Temperance or Ida like this, much less hurting anyone.
But, dreams were the one place where no one could say indulging was wrong. You didn't have to think through things or be or do good in a dream. You could just be and do and no one could complain.
I struck a pose in front of another mirrored window and giggled. There was a joy there, a fluttering happiness with a faint toothy edge. Who wouldn't want to try being a wicked girl just once or twice?
I waved to a few passing shadows, jolting them out of their rhythms and sending them skittering away in shock. An instinctual part of me ached to chase them down, to pull and twist at the darkness and show them there was no reason for fear when the night could be so beautiful if they would only let it in.
Something in the far distance caught my attention before I could indulge that impulse. It wasn't quite a sound, but I hummed along anyway. It was a beautiful composition, full of crackling flames, rushing water and rumbling earth, interspersed with the sonorous howls of a wolf and I knew where the dream needed me to be. I was powerless to resist. If only a dream, at least, here I could answer the stage's clarion call.
I hopped onto a nearby streetlight, landing just heavily enough that something cracked beneath my feet. I took a moment to appreciate the feeling of just being able to let go and break things without having to work through hating myself over every little mistake.
Then I was off, bounding across the rooftops. The night sky embraced me as it would any favored child, the wind rushing past me in a cutting hug before it sent me on my way. No silly little mundane boy would ever get to appreciate this vista.
I found myself coming to a halt, a giggly euphoric mess, overlooking a fight. Inessa was already doing whatever it was she did with the strange pieces of amber that seemed to come out of defeated monsters. Temperantia was, as ever, lurking and waiting for an opening while Ida was locked in furious combat with the person whose uniform matched mine.
The wolf was fast and strong, eir growls a racing erratic tune of playful fury. Diligentia was as Steadfast as the Earth, her sound a methodical percussion line that refused to bend to Avaritia's rhythm.
As I watched, she ducked under Avaritia's fully extended claws and brought her shield above her head to deflect my wolf's follow up hammer strike. For a moment, they stayed in place, engaged in a contest of raw strength and skill as both subtly maneuvered for leverage. Avaritia shifted eir posture, adjusting her footing and throwing his whole weight into the clash. Diligentia had no need to move. The earth was her ally and the ground simply shifted to brace her better and deprive Avaritia of eir footing.
With a decisive shout, Diligentia sprung forward and up, breaking Avaritia's balance. The Diligent Saint lashed out with a knee, striking Avaritia right in the solar plexus before my poor little puppy could recover. Avaritia stumbled back to absorb the blow, only to lose her footing on debris that hadn't been so loose a moment ago.
Avaritia rolled with the fall, and ey would have made a doubtless stunning recovery! Except, of course, Temperantia had been waiting for the right moment to strike. A torrent of water slammed Avaritia into a nearby wall.
Well, this wouldn't do at all! Interfering in a duel between two people who were almost as pretty as this me was one thing, but I was clearly dreaming about being Avaritia's partner and it would be awful to let them gang up on em.
Besides, I was upset at Temperance and, while I'd never actually do anything to hurt her, this was a dream and so I could indulge in all of the pettiness! Still, I wasn't dreaming of being an evil magical girl just to make a boring entrance. This was my dream and I was going to enjoy it.
Carefully, trusting Avaritia to handle eirself for at least a few more minutes, I skirted around the edge of the fight, dropping silently behind Castitas, just as she finished whatever it was she was doing with the strange glowing piece of amber.
From there it was a simple matter to pull her into a hug. She froze and yelped and I, dutifully, shoved her away to give her a little space.
Inessa stumbled, then caught her balance and whirled on me, trying to say something, though the words came out in a garbled stream of incomprehensible dream noises, interspersed with the crackling roar of her heart's fire.
I laughed and twirled and tried to tell her something about how I got to be pretty too, how I got to have a skirt all of my own now; but the wind was rude and stole my words from me.
For whatever reason, this didn't set her at ease. Instead, Inessa tossed the strange amber into the distance, where something small and birdlike snatched it out of the air. Then she drew her bow and, with a shout, sent three arrows of fire arcing toward me.
Well that wouldn't do! This was my dream thank you very much Miss Brandt and I refused to be upstaged! Besides, yes, being pretty and wearing cute clothes were things everyone wanted deep down, but what was the point in being a magical girl if you couldn't do magic?
So I did the thing you should always do in a dream and cheated, pulling out my own bow, a dark mirror to Inessa's. It was easy to match her volley with with my own equal and opposite. Besides, while Inessa had always been genuinely cute and impressive and powerful, green fire simply looked better than red.
Each arrow met in the air, crashing into each other in beautiful bursts of red and green, and this dream probably wasn't even on Christmas.
She frowned, then shouted something and leaped backwards, regrouping into a defensive formation with Temperantia and Diligentia.
Freed from the pressure of their assault by my absurd entrance, a half-drowned wolf picked eirself up and shouted something angry in dreamspeak toward Temperantia, then, preempting Temperantia's reply, turned and waved ecstatically to me, grinning cheerfully.
Naturally, I gave my partner a curtsy and prepared to fight. Obviously I would win, this was my dream!
As we blurred into a graceful dance of fist and magic, the quiet beeping of my alarm pulled me from my slumber. The magical girl dreams had always been a guilty pleasure, but this? This had gone above and beyond in both pleasure and guilt. Sure it was a little, or maybe a lot, evil, but it had felt so impossibly vivid, like it was something I only had to reach out to touch. With dreams like that, I hated that I had to wake up at all.
And, for once, I felt rested to the point that I was basically bursting with energy. Any lingering pain in my body had vanished in the night, leaving me feeling light and springy enough that I half wanted to try roof-hopping for real. For once, I felt like I could face everyone's stares. The me in the dream wouldn't have had a problem. She got to be pretty enough and cool enough that she'd simply have taken it as her due and owned it.
Inessa, I found out on the way to school, had not had anywhere near as pleasant a night.
NEXT WEEK ON SHINING VIRTUE ANGELIC HEART!!!
Worried about the Abyssal Forest's growing power, the girls resolve to investigate the whereabouts of possible Saint candidates. They find rumors about an art prodigy known for volunteering her time teaching at a local daycare. However, before the girls can figure out if she has the talent to become Angelic Saint Patientia, Avaritia attacks!
Tune in for Episode 17: Natural Talent? The Painter's Secret Revealed!
