A Little Vice (Trans Magical Girl fic)

Iris-Iven-Ibis · Apr 21, 2024

wetodet said:
You, uh, switch from using 'she' for Chiro at the start of the sentence to 'his' later on. From the context of the other grammar issues in the sentence I'm guessing it's an English-as-second-language issue, but I feel like it's important this specific one be pointed out given the context of, well, the story itself.

Thank you it is fix now

MercyGrace · Apr 21, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
It's a magical girl yuri crime to leave Chiro out of this subplot, denying her a chance to by hypocritically frustrated at Ida's obliviousness to her own LGBTQIA+ identity.

The magical girl yuri police have been dispatched to your last known location. You'll recognize them because their uniforms include unreasonably frilly skirts.

Chiro's too busy tracking down Lupin to snog....and recruit to the saints. She's also being wooed by Temperance. She can be forgiven for not noticing.

RiceRockRekt · Apr 21, 2024

You know, this is a really auspicious day to start the real, final end of A Little Vice.

Feeling just a bit sentimental.

So, here we are...One Day in April...

Shadell said:
Inessa's parents reacted to the four of us appearing out of nowhere with hugs and hot chocolate, then shock and confusion, then—as the reality of things finally settled—the faintest hint of quickly buried anger. We didn't get that much explaining done that night. Between my crying apologies, the confusion at my—apparently pretty obvious—changes and everyone's relief to have me back, no one had the energy left to actually offer a coherent explanation to Inessa's parents.

Wah. The Brandts.

Yeah though this has to be fucking wild. I actually can't tell if this involved the explanation on whole Angelic Saints stuff or not, but it feels like—

the confusion at my—apparently pretty obvious—changes

CHIRO YOU BAT BLIND MOTHERFUCKER.

Ahhh.

Small steps.

Shadell said:
No, I'd been assured upstairs to Inessa's room and started crying again. Somehow a familiar bat plushie and a pair of green apple studs were waiting for me on Inessa's desk.

Inessa hugged me and I hugged Count Fruitula and resolved myself that my partnership with Avaritia wouldn't end there.

TO CONTINUE ON THE FRUSTRATIONS. Avaritia. By god. Quit your day job. Leave the emo band. Talk to your girlfriends.

Ey're a sweetheart in a Very annoying way.

Shadell said:
Both Inessa and I slept until the early afternoon. But eventually we had to rise. And, after a few parental discussions and talks with Inessa that I wasn't privy to, we'd sat down "as a family" according to Inessa and talked. Inessa took over for most of it. I don't think I could really have worked up the courage to get my new name out of my lips, or to lie to them after they'd welcomed me back into their house despite me running off without a word.

Wugh.

Oh my god Inessa literally being like. Chiro's adoption manager. To HER parents.

Shadell said:
Officially, I was a trans girl, for all I still felt like an imposter. My name was Chiro, and the shock and depression over gender combined with everything with my dad had driven me to run away and do some dumb things including taking hormones. After a few weeks, I'd broken down and called Inessa and she'd panicked and gone running and that was how we'd gotten there last night.

I hated the necessity of starting life as Chiro with so many lies.

You're really NOT lying about. Much anything.

Besides the hormones and the lack of Magical Girl Warfare mentioned.

Shadell said:
But it wasn't like we could tell them what had really happened and this let me explain why my face was different. I wasn't sure if HRT actually worked anywhere near that fast. But—as a panicked group text with Temperance had informed us—cis people would basically believe anything about hormones.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Temperance is so funny.

Temperance: I could tell a cis person anything about HRT and they'd eat it up.
Inessa: Like me?
Ida: Like me?
Chiroptera: Like me?
Temperance: [Glaring at Chiro impassively, tears streaming down her face] I want to ruin you for other women.
Chiroptera: What.

Shadell said:
While Inessa's parents were still trying to untangle it all, wondering how the quiet boy they'd known for so many years could actually be a girl, Inessa had triumphantly announced that she was adopting me.

...Can she do that???

Legally I mean.

She's already done that ideologically.

You know what. Yeah. Michael can do the paperwork forgery necessary for this 17 year old to legally adopt this other 17 year old.

I love how the Brandts are so lost because this is a lot happening all at once and they really were not kept in the loop with ANY of these developments.

Shadell said:
I missed a bit of what happened next. Inessa's surety sparked a familiar spiral of guilt and fear that I was about to be thrown away again. Apparently the Brandt's had agreed to take me in before everything. But, well, finding out that the nice boy next door you thought of as the son you'd never had was apparently a girl who couldn't stop crying while she danced around the edge of admitting exactly how close to the end she'd actually come… that couldn't have been easy.

Except, after a whispered back and forth, Mrs. Brandt had pulled me into a hug and told me she was proud of me for coming back. That had set off the tears again and somehow that had settled everything. In a way, that was a little ironic. I'd spent so much time being miserable and pretending I couldn't cry. Now I was as happier than I'd ever been and I couldn't stop sobbing in front of everyone.

I LOVE THE BRANDTS SO MUCH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Chiro is gonna be a Brandt...Her mom is proud of her...

Shadell said:
They'd told me that they wanted me to be family as much as Inessa did. And maybe they'd immediately followed that up by grounding me until we sorted things out. Maybe they both struggled to figure out how to treat me; maybe Mrs. Brandt kept trying to talk me into choosing a normal name, and maybe Mr. Brandt kept slipping and calling us children or teens anything that wasn't girls. But I wasn't sure how to treat me either.

The important thing is that they were trying. Inessa's mom took us shopping on a girl's day out, because Chiro had basically nothing that would work for her in terms of clothing or any other essentials. Mr. Brandt tried to remember to get my name right and Inessa tried to comfort me when I told her how guilty receiving so much kindness made me feel. And I tried to be better about not bottling everything up until we exploded. Between us it almost felt like we might try hard enough for things to be different.

Learning...

How to show a family friend that you REALLY love her like a daughter: Ground her ass for scaring you like that the same as your first idiot child.

It's not perfect at the start, but mistakes are fine when the efforts are sincere.

Shadell said:
We made plans to sneak back into the Abyssal Forest of course. We needed to find any clues we could about Uriel, Superbia and Avaritia. I'd wanted to grab a few things from my room. Instead, the way was locked off, as if without the Beasts there was nothing to hold that gloomy castle together. Or perhaps Superbia had managed to recover enough to destroy it in a rage or Uriel had somehow hidden it away.

That room had been a prison to me, but it was also where I'd started to find myself, where Avaritia had awkwardly tried to comfort me after my first victory, where I'd first looked in a mirror and seen someone I adored. At least, ey'd gotten me the mementos that really mattered. That only sparked more guilt of course. Even after refusing the offered hands, Avaritia was still helping, too hurt to come close, too greedy to ever cut ties.

Ey weren't making Resinners anymore. At least not where we could find them. Instead, a new type of monster had appeared: grayscale creatures that felt fundamentally wrong in a way the Beasts' creations never had.

Ohhhhh, the continuing plotlines, with ALL NEW flavors of mook!

Uriel's creations, or the work of the Children of the Forest? I wonder, I wonder.

Castle Abyss being inaccessible is an interesting, something, if there more to this place than being Superbia's domain in the Forest?

Avaritia is just. Ey really need to let emself receive help.

Though, the new bad guy being non-Resinner is likely to be the avenue for just that.

Shadell said:
As much as I hated to admit it, a part of me was glad to have the stability and power of fighting with the Saints. Helping felt good even if it was scary and people could get hurt. There was enough confusion in everything else in this strange new life I was building. The ever-more familiar cadence of monster battles helped ground me.

When being a fucking superhero really is just the Least complicated thing in a girl's life.

I'm happy for you homie. By god is that fucking funny though.

Shadell said:
And then, after a few doctor's visits, way too many phone calls and a lot of nightmares, it was time for the young woman who was to be called Chiroptera Brandt to do something terrifying.

Oh hey are you going back to school?

I know what this fake out keeps being you schoolpilled academiamaxxer.

Shadell said:
I took a cotton swab to my left eye for the seventh time that morning. I'd messed up my wing again and, for all my hands wouldn't stop shaking, I needed it to be perfect. I sighed and took a moment to steady myself and then started tracing a thin line across my eyelid yet again.

I was sitting in front of Inessa's desk, staring intensely at a vanity mirror, while she sat on a bed and texted someone. My sister was probably complaining to our friends how ridiculous I was being or, worse, bragging about her adorable sister. I would check the Saints' group chat later and complain as appropriate.

Love that you managed to reclaim your wings bat girl.

Ohhhh, the way this foils Chiroptera Dunne's first day jitters...

Constantly needs to L+Ratio Inessa lest she get too peppy about believing in her (it never works chat).

Shadell said:
But I couldn't help it. I vaguely recalled my first school day as the first Chiro being about this bad, but she was a beautiful and mysterious transfer student who had nothing rational to fear about anything. I was the weird boy who'd vanished for a month and was now coming back with only weeks until graduation, trying to convince everyone he was actually a girl. But I had to go, and that meant I had to put as much effort in as I possibly could.

You know Chiro really talks like she's trying to gaslight us into thinking she's not a girl? That's what this inner monologue keeps feeling like.

She's just. Really cringe about how hot she thinks Chiro: Green Tie-Dye Inessa Edition was.

Shadell said:
I still didn't buy that I looked like a real girl; I didn't feel like one either, no matter what Temperance said. But that just meant I had to be even more perfectly put together. I wasn't sure how Mrs. Brandt had talked the school around to accepting me as Chiro or letting me finish the term after missing so much. I wasn't sure why the thought of just going back to being Charlie—even just at school—had stuck like a fishbone in my throat and left me struggling to breathe. But, even if she found the whole Chiro thing a bit of a struggle, she was an adult in my life and she'd actually fought the bureaucracy for my sake.

Wah...Good mom...

Shadell said:
I managed to get the pen away from my eyes before I started sniffling, earning Inessa's attention more quickly and more totally than if I had tried to strangle her again.

YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLY GOOD SISTER BUT YOU'RE BOTH REALLY WEIRD FOR THIS.

Shadell said:
"It's fine," I said. "I was just thinking about how your mom managed to get school to be okay with the absences and the, whatever this is." I gestured to the skirt I was wearing. "And I just got so happy that she did it all for me."

"She got your name wrong twice yesterday!" Inessa said with her arms crossed over her chest. "You're not allowed to be so grateful to her that you spontaneously burst into tears."

"I mean..." I should probably have been upset at that. A real trans girl probably would have been inconsolate. "I accidentally introduced myself as Invidia Bat in that fight last week. She's trying."

I see that Inessa is picking up some mommy issues to pull up the slack!

Chiro. Girl. You just both have really low standards and are a very forgiving person to the people you love, you're not less trans for that.

...What the hell does it mean in Mrs. Brandt's mind to hear her second daughter call herself Invidia Bat.

Is it just weirdo names all the way down to her.

I like that this is acknowledging that the Brandt parents are flawed human beings like the rest of the cast but they have the grace to make mistakes and learn to be better like everyone else.

Shadell said:
A part of me was frustrated at how protective Inessa had gotten. For all she trusted me with her back against our new enemies, she seemed to treat me like I was made of glass the rest of the time. Another part of me remembered how radiant she'd been as she struck me down and couldn't imagine my sister being anything less than the perfect knight. A third part was simply terrified enough of returning to school that I would happily accept any degree of infantilization if it meant a human shield between me and the student body.

I also see that these are the New Arc Episodic Lessons in the making!

Chiro does see Inessa as her super strong big(ish) sister...

Damned if Inessa isn't definitely having a trauma reaction over here and developing a I Gotta Be The Protector I Gotta Be The STRONG Looking After The KIND I Will EAT GLASS Before Harm Comes To This Baby Bird, which is like.

Like it's kinda full circle in a funny way.

Shadell said:
Inessa huffed and shook her head, and looked at me seriously for a moment. "Your makeup looks good. Are you sure you're up to this?"

I bit back the urge to wipe it all off and start over, grabbed a little teal tab from an orange plastic bottle on the desk, popped it under my tongue, and gave her a tiny nod. I wasn't sure how the actual hormones would interact with whatever my magic was doing to me, but MIchael seemed to think it was fine. We'd needed to convince the Brandts that I had already been taking them when I'd vanished, and one thing had led to another and now I had them for real. It was another blessing I didn't deserve.

I don't know why this is so hysterical to me.

"Yeah God's Right Hand Angel thinks the cleansing light of the lord and the predatory thrall of the devil won't clash too hard with HRT."

Switching from E(nvy) to E(strogen) is a tough job, but the First Tree's silliest soldier can handle it.

Shadell said:
Mr. Brandt caught us on the way down, giving Inessa a hug and staring awkwardly at me for a moment until I shyly crossed the distance and put my arms around him as lightly as I could.

"Have a good day kids," he said with worried affection. "Inessa, take care of your sister. Chiro, we expect you to text us at lunch and after school to let us know everything's going okay."

Inessa found the idea that her parents were demanding check-ins demeaning. I didn't think I'd stumble in a way where her parents would be able to help. But sending a few updates a day might give them peace of mind. And, even if it was hard to disentangle the Brandt's actions from every other adult who'd had me, and even if a part of me was waiting for them to get sick of all the attention they were giving me and throw me out, it honestly felt nice that they cared enough to hover.

Speaking of hovering, Inessa grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door, muttering something about parents being ridiculous and our need to hurry if we wanted to meet up with friends before school started.

THE WAY INESSA IS SO BOTHERED ABOUT HER PARENTS HAVING THE SAME LOVE LANGUAGE AS SHE HAS.

Honestly it's interested that this is all probably less a new development (besides the parts that are obviously new developments I mean) as much as like. Chiro finally bridging the gap and experiencing the Brandt Family as not this ideal hideaway she's envious of and more like. Her family.

Her POV is finally intermingling with the reality beyond the pedestal...

"take care of your sister" oh Mr. Brandt you old soft serve.

LITERALLY. LITERALLY JUST THE SAME FIERCELY CODDLING LOVE LANGUAGE.

Shadell said:
I made my way through classes, reintroduced once an hour to stares and whispers and flickers of assorted sins I wished I couldn't hear. I should have worn pants. Chiro, the first Chiro, would have looked great in the knee-length skirt and sleeveless top. People looked at her with all sorts of desires. They looked at me like I was a comedy act.

Oh she's still tapped into the Sin Signals!

Be less rude people.

Temperance's Great Victory in getting this tgirl into a skirt has been assured.

She probably wants to move into the next battlefield of Shorter Skirt.

Shadell said:
At the same time, I found myself smiling in the rare moments when it felt like I might be unobserved. I'd notice how the fingers wrapped around my pen had a bright green nail polish that matched my hair, and that'd fill me with this soft little giddy emotion that made me want to laugh and dance right there in the classroom. And so the morning went, a dizzying mix of ecstasy and terror accentuated by a backing track of dark feelings I wasn't meant to hear.

None of this was new. I'd done it as Chiro 1.0 all the time. And yet, somehow, every little bit of euphoria, rare as they'd become, felt so much more immediate and intense. Perhaps it was because this was a mask closer to my core. Even if I couldn't quite find a way to think of myself as a real girl, I was at least faking it as myself.

I really am happy for her.

One day. One day you will be "You're A Faker" in your own brain Chiro.

Shadell said:
I found myself exhausted by lunch, content to simply sit safely ensconced on all sides by the other Saints and quietly listening to the chaotic medley of sins that characterized a highschool cafeteria. I didn't want to pry into any of them. But one quiet little tune kept grabbing me. It was a soft and ordinary kind of longing that stuck in my head for reasons I couldn't quite parse.

"Skirts do suit you," a familiar monotone broke me out of my reverie, before I could really examine the sin in detail.

I looked down to find Temperance Atwater nodding approvingly at me. As if she hadn't repeated that joke a half dozen times since my return.

LITERALLY. GOD.

Chiro my homeslice you will eventually have to come to terms with the fact this isn't a joke it's just Temperance being inescapably horny.

...What's drawing your ear, though?

Shadell said:
"You're coming to the GSA today," she decided for me.

"I'm doing what?"

"Coming to the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting," she repeated as if that had been the point of confusion.

"Why?"

"I am," she said gravely, "going to make you admit it."

Kkkkkkkkkkkk.

Temperance:

YOU'RE GOING TO BRAZIL(Gay-Straight Alliance) CHIRO.

God.

Fuck.

Temperance the literal alien who has only been in this highschool for maybe half a year but is so.

SO.

About her school's GSA.

She believes in it.

She probably tried to make Lupin go and is so insanely frustrated about the fact that the people she wants to fuck do not APPRECIATE how very useful the support structure of the GSA is for a young trans person.

Shadell said:
"Look," I bit back my first response to the well-meaning girl. She'd been the first to see all the desires I hadn't been able to voice. Maybe, as Gula, she'd sensed enough of my sins to know. Maybe trans girls just had a hidden sixth sense for boys who maybe had actually always wanted to be girls; magical or otherwise. And she'd tried to help, in her own noncommunicative way. She had covered for Chiro in those early fragile days when recognition might have shattered any possibility I had of ever being her for real.

Beyond that, she was the other one who understood how much it hurt that Avaritia had vanished after that fateful night and, weeks later, neither of us had had the chance to say what we wanted to tell em. I didn't know, exactly, how far Temperance and Avaritia's partnership went. I was afraid to ask, for all we'd agreed that we would turn the world inside out if that's what it took to reach our wolf.

And, whatever the genuine trans girl was, she was it. She was, in ways that Inessa had been, the genuine article I was currently pretending to be. And she liked and accepted and even seemed to enjoy helping me figure this all out the way Avaritia had enjoyed the same things.

You're finally being nice to herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Shadell said:
To be short, it was hard for me to figure out what exactly I felt about the blue haired girl in front of me. Gratitude? Exasperation? Longing? Jealousy, at least, remained an essential component.

.

Baby steps tho.

I swear to god. Nothing has been harder than the battle to stop myself from leaping through the screen to shake Chiro screaming "BE NICER TO TEMPERANCE SHE LIKES YOU YOU IDIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!"

She'd been the first to see all the desires I hadn't been able to voice. Maybe, as Gula, she'd sensed enough of my sins to know. Maybe trans girls just had a hidden sixth sense for boys who maybe had actually always wanted to be girls; magical or otherwise.

Chiro starting to believe that Transceivers are a thing when she already knows that Saints and Beasts literally have psychic emotion reading is funny.

It's so fucking incredible though literally. Literally being kinder to herself is helping Chiro be kinder to the people who remind her of herself.

Shadell said:
"You won, okay? You got me in a skirt."

"My victory will be total," she proclaimed. "I demand a friend of the girl variety."

. YOU FUCKER.

SAY YOU WANT CHIRO AS A GIRLFRIEND IN A NORMAL WAY YOU HEATHEN.

Shadell said:
Befuddled, I pointed to the two palpably amused girls watching our interaction. Ida seemed as confused as I was. Inessa tilted her head to the side for a moment, then gave Temperance an inscrutable look and buried her head in her hands.

Temperance looked at me the way one might look at a particularly slow child and let out a long-suffering sigh.

Finally.

Finally Inessa realizing her super shark friend is as much of a stupid lesbian tryhard as she is.

Shadell said:
"Yeah," Ida said. "We'll always be your friends!"

"Yes, I am friends with Ida and Inessa. That is what I meant by a girl friend." Temperance agreed, woodenly.

Ida.

Ida...

You're so precious to me.

You are the least favored child of this narrative as the Token Straight™, bit I would give you the world.

"Yes, I am friends with Ida and Inessa. That is what I meant by a girl friend." Temperance agreed, woodenly.

Sometimes I think about how Temperance is trapped in a hell of her own funny guy making.

People think she's emotionless when comedy is her highest artform and even the slightest turn of phrase is taken for dead stupid bluntness.

Riiiiiiiip.

Shadell said:
"And you are going to admit that if you decide to be a girl, that makes you trans," she continued speaking in a valiant effort to stem a tide of denial not even her hydromancy could budge.

Perhaps, if that had been the first time she'd accosted me with such logic, I would have found myself shaken. But it wasn't. She had explained this to me at length, she had linked me to essays I hadn't been able to work up the courage to read. Maybe—I could admit on good days—she might even be right.

The way Chiro literally knows she's fucking. A river in Egypt.

TEMPERANCE IS FORCE FEEDING HER GENDER STUDYS AND CHIRO WON'T EVEN LOOK IT'S JUST INCREDIBLE. BLIND AS A BAT.

Shadell said:
A few months ago, this kind of conversation had been enough to set me on the path to becoming Invidia. Maybe I still had some figuring to do, some things to make peace with. But I had told the world I was trangender and a woman and I was living like it was true. But, that was all it felt like. Another mask. Shouldn't I have been able to look at myself and know it was real if that's what I was?

Chiro really has grown enough to acknowledge that her Joker Phase was just a lil' bit. Overreacting. But she has yet to look past the shadows on the cave walls about how much Identity is an extension of Desire.

Shadell said:
"Sorry," I said at last, my eyes leaving hers to count the number of people staring at the new girl. I forced myself to calm down. I was handling it better, but I would never like this kind of talk. And, even if no one was listening, we were still in public and there was no way to know that no one was listening, not really. Anyone could have been silently staring, judging. I was coping better.

She's coping better!

She's horrendously paranoid and has sin powers whispering to her about the Envy Lust Pride Gluttony Sloth Wrath Greed of everyone around her, but she's coping better!

Shadell said:
"Look Temperance," Ida cut in, just as I thought I was free. "I guess I'm the token cisgender heterosexual on the team and I don't really get this stuff. But, like, you'd just know if you were gay or trans or anything, right? LIke, people just have an internal sense of that kind of thing."

"Exactly!" I agreed, puzzled by the unexpected support, but willing to accept it even if it meant my efforts to avoid the topic were failing.

"No," Inessa preempted Ida. "At least, it's like, it's complicated, I just thought girls were, you know… There were, umm," I wondered whether mortified or amused was the better reaction to seeing my sister squirm. Secondhand embarrassment felt about right. "You know, thoughts about women. But, it's not like I had a 'lesbian' label floating over my head or anything."

I spared a glance at Temperance, who seemed to be looking at Ida with something like dawning horror as the latter girl tapped her finger against her lips.

. Oh god Ida is about to do something incredibly fucking funny to this ecosystem isn't she. . "She." God.

Temperance HORRIFIED about the box Ida is carelessly cracking open (maybe also the "token cisgender heterosexual", because those words really would not be used in a sequence if Temperance didn't put them in her head).

Shadell said:
"Huh," Ida said in a tone of voice I'd never heard from the usually confident Saint. "That's, huh. Well, the more you know." And then she laughed and rubbed the back of her head and returned to her lunch with gusto.

Slowly, Inessa turned to face Temperance, communicating something inscrutable but horrified in the private language only possessed by real girls, or maybe just real lesbians?

"No," Temperance announced firmly. "We can unpack that after we finish breaking Chiro."

God.

"We can unpack that after we finish breaking Chiro" the way you just say that. Audibly.

Temperance and Inessa's immaculate suffering as the only people cognitively out on this team.

Shadell said:
And there went my chance to avoid answering. And really, I owed it to…

"Today's already really overwhelming and I hate the way everyone's looking at me, and, I know you want to help, but could we maybe leave the processing and the GSA and the everything for another day?"

Temperance winced.

"Sorry." Her voice carried only the faintest trace of guilt. But she stopped looking at me like she smelled blood in the water.

For a second, she looked like she might want to say something more, then she looked around and, with a few glares at nosey bystanders and confirmation from me that no feelings were hurt, we settled into the silence of friends close enough that no one felt pressured to keep the conversation moving.

Oh!

Oh!!!

Chiro said she was uncomfortable and set her boundaries with big girl words!!!

This is everything I ever wanted!!!

The silence of friends close enough that no one felt pressured to keep the conversation moving...

This is beautiful but also if Ida ends up the token boy on the team I am going to break down crying this is SO. INCREDIBLY. HYSTERICALLY—

Shadell said:
And so the day went. I only heard my deadname whispered once and—even if I retreated into myself and longed for the comfort of baggy concealing clothes we'd all agreed I should deny myself on the first day—I could live with that. None of the others shared sixth period with me; it probably wouldn't have happened if any of the potentially intimidating girls I called my friends had been around to imply murder at anyone who dared.

And honestly, it hurt less than the stares, than the uncomfortable anticipation. Better to have it out there than constantly be wondering what every teacher was thinking.

I'm glad you're coping.

Share the name of who said it with the class so we can attack them with bricks.

Shadell said:
And sure, shortly after school someone at the GSA turned into one of the the new monsters and we had to rush to get there before it managed to get away from Temperantia. But that part was easy, for all Temperance seemed intensely determined to inform us that it absolutely wasn't her doing. I'd only teased her about it once, there was no need to be so insistent really.

STRESSING HER OUT. TAUNTING HER.

Shadell said:
And then I made my way home and apologized to the Brandts for being late and listened to their gentle reprimands and let Inessa explain how I'd needed a little time to gather myself after school and really it was her fault for not texting and… I hated how easily lying to her parents came to my sister. She wasn't good at masking her feelings, but it was obvious that she'd had a lot of practice at this particular application of the skill.

And then I was free and I made my way up to the room I was sharing with my sister and asked for some time to decompress.

And so another day ends.

It does feel like in the meta plot of Shining Virtue Angelic Heart, something really is building up to Inessa's whole thing with her parents? It's neat.

Shadell said:
The girl in the mirror struck a pose, legs bent and arms crossed under her chest. A pair of cartoonish wings stretched behind her and a gentle green halo hovered placidly above her head. She looked… good enough. Her chest was too flat. But the ribbon helped hide that. She was too tall. Her forehead was awful and protruding and anyone who got close would be able to see.

Or would they? Everyone said I was a bad judge of myself on this. Even Mrs. Brandt said I was, at least when she hadn't accidentally misgendered me in the last few hours. Temperance had said significantly more than that. They were probably right.

I picked up my lyre up off of Inessa's desk and held it over my torso, one hand poised to strum. That was a little better, maybe. The instrument drew the eye.

I feel so bad for the Brandts. They're getting their asses beaten in the replies I just know it.

Chiro's baby steps in not hating herself...

Shadell said:
I'd heard a few students talking about Humanitas in the aftermath of the fight. No one seemed to have guessed she might be trans or whatever incomprehensible thing I actually was. But maybe they had? Maybe people were just more polite when the ugly boy in a skirt had magic superpowers and got to hang out with the magical girls.

The door behind me creaked open. Panicking, I dove for the side of Inessa's bed, as if that would somehow hide me.

My sister froze in the doorway, staring at Angelic Saint Humanitas lying awkwardly on the floor for a long moment before recovering enough to jump into the room we were temporarily sharing and slam the door behind her.

"Chiro!" She whispered, worryingly. "Why are you transformed? Why are you on the floor? What are you doing?"

I blushed.

CRINGE.

Inessa: In our house? With the door unlocked???

Shadell said:
"I, umm, well…" I didn't get enough chances to actually see myself as Humanitas. I'd hoped that seeing her—actually, literally, seeing her—might help me see myself a little differently, might help me see the girl that Temperance insisted was there. And, well, where was I supposed to do that if not our room?

"I just, umm, wanted to see how Humanitas actually looks, and, you know… Sorry."

With a thought, I allowed my uniform to unravel into an errant breeze, facing Inessa as plain old Chiro.

Trying to transform her self-perception...

Shadell said:
"You should really work on all that apologizing," she said with a pout.

"Sorry," I apologized again anyway. She was right, that kind of self-indulgent suffering that had gotten me to some of my worst places.

"Chiro…" She shook her head.

"Sorry!" I repeated.

Her eyes narrowed.

I removed my tongue from my cheek to stick it out at my sister. "Sorry."

Inessa rewarded me with a pillow to the face.

The battle to make your friends (and this time, sister) stop being overly apologetic is a long one.

You will sometimes feel encouraged to attack them with a lamppost.

This is normal, mutual violence aids emotional catharsis.

Shitters : )

Shadell said:
"Feeling better?" she asked after I'd retaliated in kind.

I bit back my immediate urge to respond with a 'yes' and actually thought about it. My instincts screamed at me to be okay, to tell people that I was reassured, that they didn't need to worry. I'd taken that path to its extreme and it had led to dark places. My therapist—I had one of those now—had suggested that forcing myself to be a little more open in small ways might help.

OUUUUUUUUGH SHE GOT AN ACTUAL THERAPIST!

WHO ISN'T MICHAEL WITH A HAT!

WONDERFUL!

Finally fighting to let her bad feelings be heard...

Shadell said:
"Yeah," I said. "Today was rough." That was the root of it. Chiro the first had been an experience of joy in my appearance married to guilt and confusion and hatred for the person under the skin. C, in retrospect, had simply hated everything about himself to an extent I had never quite dared grasp. Now, as with so much of this trying to be a better person thing, I found myself all over the place. Some days I marveled at the changes that had already happened. Some days I was ecstatic for what they meant might still occur. Others, I looked at my face and saw my parents.

And sometimes I went to school for the first time in two weeks and realized that trying to be a girl around people who'd vaguely known guy me was probably the special kind of hell reserved for wicked little bat creatures who'd come up with really stupid plans to get their best friends to kill them. It wasn't a fair thought. Bats deserved a much better afterlife than that.

Maybe if you think bats deserve a better afterlife, you'll agree that you do to?

But not in too big a hurry to see as much, of course.

I think this is really super funny that it keeps hitting Chiro how much of a clown she was for having the shounen lesbian (but not for each other!) battle in the rain with Inessa. It's very good. It means she's healing.

Anyway don't worry highschool is gonna be over soon and you'll get to figure yourself out in college. Hopefully. Get her out of there.

Shadell said:
"Oh," Inessa said.

"It's fine, really. I kinda knew it was going to happen like that." It was fine, I decided somewhat capriciously. Admitting to bad thoughts didn't mean that all of them had to have some great moral weight. "What have you been up to?"

Wugh.

Letting Inessa in enough to get that "Oh" is a lot.

And you're learning the next lesson, that positivity feels more honest when you admit to the negativity!

Shadell said:
I listened as Inessa talked about her day and grabbed Count Fruitula off the bed. It was impossible to hold him without thinking of the person who was missing, the one supportive voice who'd been so loudly absent all day. That longing was good in its own way; it was probably why, even after everything, hurt and alone, ey'd grabbed my things and brought them to me.

Ey had cut emselves away from me and Temperance, but ey longed to be held close. Avaritia wanted me to wear the familiar little studs I obviously had had to wear on my first day and hug the Count and think of em even as ey refused to let us extend them the same compassion.

Sometimes I do think about this. Chiro doing this in front of Inessa's salad.

Can you imagine? Loving someone so much you put aside that she NTR'd you with your goth gf crush? BEFORE you found out they were the NB werewolf who hates you?

Inessa's incredible strength of character really gets me.

And Chiro, Chiro, you are going to FIGHT for your messy sin baggage bifriend and I respect that.

Somehow the will to text your ex back is a burning flame of inner peace in her heart.

Shadell said:
Inessa's finger poked my cheek and I belatedly realized that I'd completely lost the flow of whatever she'd been saying.

"Missing em?" my sister asked, a quiet, crackling little envy sparking in her heart.

HURTFUL.

This is what I'm fucking talking about. The disrespect she carries like Atlas sparing us from the heavens.

Shadell said:
"Yeah," I admitted, pretending like I couldn't sense what she was feeling. My seed had grown used to its confines, or perhaps Humanitas' power simply made it easier to keep its impulses restrained. It barely tried to extend a root even when my sister was a little jealous of me.

"We're going to bring em around though. Like you did for me," I added after a moment's thought. Temperance and I had promised each other as much. Any means necessary.

Inessa forced a smile. "I'm sure you will," she said, the bitter feeling in her heart subsiding in favor of something warm and good that my seed would not show me. "My adorable little sister can be pretty amazing, you know."

WAH.

I appreciate the kindness and regard given to Inessa even as she exists in the Isle de Forever Alone Girl.

"I'm sure you will," she said, the bitter feeling in her heart subsiding in favor of something warm and good that my seed would not show me.

THIS IS SUCH A WARM LINE.

SOMETHING WARM AND GOOD THAT HER SEED WOULD NOT SHOW HER.

But also FUCK YEAAAAAAH, GET FUCKED INVIDIA SEED!!!

Shadell said:
It had been a good day, I decided as I listened to Inessa sleep next to me. I hadn't expected that. And yet, even with the anxiety and the being in public around strangers who knew exactly who I'd been, it had been good, for all it wasn't pleasant.

She found something good, even if it's sometimes unpleasant.

That's a wonderful thing.

Shadell said:
I looked to Inessa's window, though I couldn't actually see the house I was looking for from the bed: the one down the street with a "for sale" sign I wouldn't have been able to make out in the dark anyway. Despite everything, that still felt like it was my fault, like I'd failed my abusive dad one more time. I hated that I couldn't just excise that part of my heart.

Man.

Parents are complicated.

The way this echoes out is important.

Shadell said:
Two months ago, I'd fantasized about being a magical girl, about standing with Inessa and Temperance and Ida and being beautiful and strong and amazing. I'd envied them and felt so bad about that everyday emotion that I'd buried it deep down and refused to admit it until it took root inside of me and hollowed me out of everything else. I'd let those bitter dreams consume me and refused to accept a world where they could be the least bit possible.

Now, they'd all come true and instead I found myself fantasizing about the day I'd march up to that house and knock on the door and show a man who wouldn't be living there anymore that I was beautiful and strong and amazing, that despite him, I'd turned out okay.

Man.

Bravely, passionately, she wants to tell a man who never made her feel that way how she's doing okay.

It's the quiet losses.

Shadell said:
It felt just as impossible. Envy still had a hold of me. It wasn't a grand emotion, some sweeping dramatic power, not really. My envy had always been such a mundane little thing to have so much sway over my life. I couldn't imagine that I'd have taken any steps toward being that girl without envy to light the way to my desires. It had shown me what I still sought, how little of a person I was underneath all my little masks. I'd done wrong. I wouldn't run from that or deny it.

My sister had been trying to save the world and I'd spent so much energy presenting a shell of a good person that I'd turned myself into a monster instead of actually doing anything for anyone. If I'd been the kind of person who could just admit her needs from the start I could actually have been the kind of person who could have helped them.

But there was no use in imagining happier pasts. At the end of the day my envy was a part of me, whether I liked it or not. I was hardly the only one to feel that way. And perhaps the only way out was through. In naming it, in acknowledging the distorted way I looked at my sister, I could render it transparent enough to start looking beyond myself. I still idolized her of course, still took her as a lodestar in a way that even I could admit probably put a terrible kind of pressure ona girl who had too many weights to bear.

No, envy still lit my way, still consumed me. But, just maybe, it was okay to imagine that kindness was actually starting to join it.

Oh the way we're starting this one, final thesis summation of ALV.

The fact Chiro can't get caught up in wishing she'd done it the "better way", there's only the way things are because of those decisions, and going forward without giving into worries about her mistakes.

In naming it, in acknowledging the distorted way I looked at my sister, I could render it transparent enough to start looking beyond myself. I still idolized her of course, still took her as a lodestar in a way that even I could admit probably put a terrible kind of pressure ona girl who had too many weights to bear.

The way she can finally let herself see it.

Transparent...

Shadell said:
For instance, there was the thing I'd avoided telling anyone about all day. I'd heard that quiet ugly song in the cafeteria; nearly drowned out by the cacophony of sin that filled any room with so many teenagers. But that bitter wanting was too familiar to miss; familiar enough that it ached just to hear.

Inexplicably, it had pointed right at me. Some stranger in our school had envied my current mask. They had longed for the awkward trans girl struggling to breathe under hypervisibility, not Humanitas or Charlie or Inessa's mirror.

I wondered if they knew what they were feeling or why. Mostly though, I wondered what I would say to them and if it would be able to help.

RECOGNIZING SOMETHING OF HERSELF, SHE THINKS ABOUT THE WAY SHE CAN BE KIND TO THAT ENVY.

Ahhhh.

Wonderful.

Simply wonderful.

Shadell said:
NEXT WEEK ON SHINING…

And that. Is how A Little Vice ends.

Shadell, this is a work I stumbled on by chance, hitting a lull point between different stories I follow and needing something to pass the time.

What started as a small, fondly frustrated distraction about a protagonist who really needed to get out of her own head in a story that was clever about the little details, became a much more enduring passion for a narrative devoted to identity, the chains of self-hatred, owning up to what you want however ugly that might seem, realizing the best way to be kinder to others is to be kinder to yourself—All in a really stupid funny package about a clown who became a bat before she realized she could be a girl, and delightful cast of the most annoying people, Ever.

A decisively, triumphantly trans story, no matter how deep and harrowing the despair, and there's nothing quite as immaculate a twist as "No, despite what the hot genderfluid demon wolf says, this is a completely straightforward magical girl show."

In your future endeavors, whether in this universe of fiction or any other to follow, I can only wish for your success, as a thank you for this spectacular journey.

Farewell, and stay shining!

jwolfe_beta · Apr 21, 2024

RiceRockRekt said:
TO CONTINUE ON THE FRUSTRATIONS. Avaritia. By god. Quit your day job. Leave the emo band. Talk to your girlfriends.

Ey's really greedy. Have thier cake and eat it too and all that.

RiceRockRekt said:
SAY YOU WANT CHIRO AS A GIRLFRIEND IN A NORMAL WAY YOU HEATHEN.

But that would be boring.

BethofDeath · Apr 21, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
Cast. Iron. Eggshell.

Osmium or hypercompressed iridium, remember?

BadassOverlord said:
Like, it's been a while since I've felt the simultaneous impulse to both hug and smack some sense into a character to this degree.

Same. Not since Evangelion's Asuka and Gendo...

BadassOverlord said:
I'd actually just started working on a story with some similar elements before finding this and it really inspired me to get serious about writing it.

Please tag me in if/when you start posting it!

RiceRockRekt said:
The battle to make your friends (and this time, sister) stop being overly apologetic is a long one.

You will sometimes feel encouraged to attack them with a lamppost.

Better a lamppost than a giant not-actually-a-robot, I guess!

jwolfe_beta said:
Ey's really greedy. Have thier cake and eat it too and all that.

Have eir cake.

...that is, that's the correct possessive pronoun for em. Don't try to eat eir cake, bad things will likely happen..

Script Mak3r · Apr 21, 2024

RiceRockRekt said:
You know what. Yeah. Michael can do the paperwork forgery necessary for this 17 year old to legally adopt this other 17 year old.

They're all 18, IIRC, so they don't even need to consult Chiro's sperm donor.

Love that you managed to reclaim your wings bat girl.

Sadly, they're only makeup at the corners of her eyes. Definitely femme, but not Invidia Bat's batty cuteness.

...What the hell does it mean in Mrs. Brandt's mind to hear her second daughter call herself Invidia Bat.

It was at a fight, so she would've meant to introduce herself as Saint Humanitas.

BethofDeath · Apr 21, 2024

Aaaaand now I kinda want to do my eyeliner, but the wings turn into batwing fingers.

Eh, I don't have the money to be replacing my long-expired unsafe-to-use eyeliner when I never use the stuff anyway. (I'm really REALLY bad at holding still or having things near my eyes, plus I'm a perfectionist, so it takes forever.)

GreatWyrmGold · Apr 21, 2024

RiceRockRekt said:
CHIRO YOU BAT BLIND MOTHERFUCKER.

Recipe for a bat-blind motherfucker: Mix two parts self-loathing with one part gender obliviousness, add a dash of identity-obfuscating magic, and bake for thirty minutes.

...Can she do that???

Legally I mean.

She's already done that ideologically.

I assumed Inessa was adopting Chiro as a sister.

When being a fucking superhero really is just the Least complicated thing in a girl's life.

Taylor Hebert mood.
(I mean, she didn't stay a superhero for long. But she tried.)

You know Chiro really talks like she's trying to gaslight us into thinking she's not a girl? That's what this inner monologue keeps feeling like.

If anything, she's trying to gaslight herself.

She's just. Really cringe about how hot she thinks Chiro: Green Tie-Dye Inessa Edition was.

Well, yeah. She's not Green Tie-Dye Inessa Edition any more, so she's allowed to recognize the good and beautiful in that person she used to be.

...What the hell does it mean in Mrs. Brandt's mind to hear her second daughter call herself Invidia Bat.

Chiro specified "in that fight last week," so I assume Saint Humanitas got her own name wrong, not Chiroptera Brandt. (I wonder if Gula Shark ever did that. She was a Beast for way longer than Invidia.)

Anyways, on the note of Weird Things Mrs. Brandt Noticed, what do you think she thought about ~~Charlie~~ Chiro's hair turning green? Maybe at first she assumes it's dyed, but after a few days she'd notice the roots aren't brown...

And on the note of weird names, what does everyone else in the school think about the fact that Chiroptera Dunne's name got stolen by that weird guy Saint Castitas always saves?

Damned if Inessa isn't definitely having a trauma reaction over here and developing a I Gotta Be The Protector I Gotta Be The STRONG Looking After The KIND I Will EAT GLASS Before Harm Comes To This Baby Bird, which is like.

Like it's kinda full circle in a funny way.

Now that the fake-out love interest isn't hogging the standard hero complex, the actual hero can enjoy that arc!

Temperance the literal alien who has only been in this highschool for maybe half a year but is so.

SO.

About her school's GSA.

She believes in it.

She probably tried to make Lupin go and is so insanely frustrated about the fact that the people she wants to fuck do not APPRECIATE how very useful the support structure of the GSA is for a young trans person.

"Don't you think our job is more important?"
"Not for the other trans students."

SAY YOU WANT CHIRO AS A GIRLFRIEND IN A NORMAL WAY YOU HEATHEN.

Literal alien who has only been in this highschool for maybe half a year, remember?

Temperance and Inessa's immaculate suffering as the only people cognitively out on this team.

The Saints don't monopolize comedic roles like that. Sometimes Temperance and Inessa are the straight women (you know what I mean), sometimes they're the goofy fools.

I feel so bad for the Brandts. They're getting their asses beaten in the replies I just know it.

I want to see an actual animated Shining Virtue Angelic Hearts series, but I don't want to see the discourse that would crop up around this series. The Brandts aren't perfect ideal parents, but they're also not bad parents, and I can't imagine that that sort of nuance would survive the Social Media Argument Grinder.

OUUUUUUUUGH SHE GOT AN ACTUAL THERAPIST!

WHO ISN'T MICHAEL WITH A HAT!

Hey now, Shadell didn't say that.

RECOGNIZING SOMETHING OF HERSELF, SHE THINKS ABOUT THE WAY SHE CAN BE KIND TO THAT ENVY.

Ahhhh.

Wonderful.

Simply wonderful.

I hope someone writes a fic about Chiro helping that closeted tgirl, because I don't think I can.

Shadell · Apr 22, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
Anyways, on the note of Weird Things Mrs. Brandt Noticed, what do you think she thought about ~~Charlie~~ Chiro's hair turning green? Maybe at first she assumes it's dyed, but after a few days she'd notice the roots aren't brown...

HRT does some weird things, huh....

ltmauve · Apr 22, 2024

Shadell said:
HRT does some weird things, huh....

Waiting for Mrs. Brandt to figure out Chiro is a magical girl and assume it's the result of HRT. While not realizing Inessa is also a magical girl.

Snow · Apr 22, 2024

ltmauve said:
Waiting for Mrs. Brandt to figure out Chiro is a magical girl and assume it's the result of HRT. While not realizing Inessa is also a magical girl.

Well, some of us do call it a magical girl transformation sequence...

Simon_Jester · Apr 22, 2024

One has to wonder how unusual technicolor hair is in this setting. Are our heroic characters the only ones in their classes? The only ones in the school? In the region? Country? World?

Lain · Apr 22, 2024

Once I again, I wait for the next comment to avoid double posting or editing my old comment, but nobody comments for hours. 😭😅

Simon_Jester said:
One has to wonder how unusual technicolor hair is in this setting. Are our heroic characters the only ones in their classes? The only ones in the school? In the region? Country? World?

You can only have technicolor hair if the camera zooms on you. It gets more dark brown the further are you from the main plot.

Chiro's thought process causes me great pain.

It simultaneously feels too much to be true to be happening to a single person and yet at the same time too evocative, too true, too raw. I read some of these things from my friends online. Listened to their complicated life situations, their doubts and despair voiced out loud. I thought some of these things in my head, had these doubts, felt these fears, at least some parts of the way.

And a little kindness (towards ourselves and others) goes a long way...

ltmauve · Apr 22, 2024

Snow said:
Well, some of us do call it a magical girl transformation sequence...

Problem is that it takes so long the Dark Kingdom has gotten bored and left well before it even gets started.

Nerdorama · Apr 22, 2024

I wonder if the weird hair colors get the same perception filter as everything else MG-related. Not that people can't see Chiro or Temperance's hair color, but they're prevented from finding it unusual in the same way they're prevented from finding it unusual that the Angelic Saints look exactly like one extremely specific social clique at the high school where all the monster attacks happen.

NemoMarx · Apr 22, 2024

Meta reasoning: since the audience is supposed to wonder about various side characters who could be recruited (based on the next episode previews, at least) I'm thinking there must have been a rotating cast of people with weird hair showing up for those episodes and then probably vanishing from the story?

Which would at least create the illusion that hair color isn't totally unique.

GreatWyrmGold · Apr 22, 2024

Reread commentary, part 2 (chapters 3-).
I make no promises of serious analysis.

Shadell said:
But, on another level, I kept expecting her to drift away over time. I couldn't really contribute anything to the friendship anymore. [...] It just seemed inevitable that she'd move on to bigger and better things than me. It was only proof of how good a person Inessa was that she'd stayed with an aimless waste of space like me for as long as she had.

This poor child. Convinced that no one would want to be her friend if she doesn't offer enough material advantages, or they're desperate to have a friend. Who could possibly like C for who she is?

Friday the 26th

From other chapters, we know this is January 26th. The most recent Fri Jan 26 was 2024, 2018 before that, 2008 before that. 2008 is probably too early, but '18 and '24 are probably both reasonable estimates.

This was annoying, as Mr. Noir had promised me definitively that he'd 'force me to break out of my cage' in our next session and now I would have to wait until Monday.

It is concerning that C considers something so ominous worth looking forward to. How much of that is desperation driven by self-loathing, and how much is mind-whammies?

I needed desperately to retain my exception status to boydom.

🥚

"Well, everything is all fine now, but I think we still have some things to talk about with our friend next time we see her," Inessa only panicked a little as she tried to translate what had happened.
...
Temperance nodded along stoically, "Right, she's still confused about a few things, but we'll help her see the light soon enough after all this."

Which is to say Temperance was livid, insofar as Temperance actually felt any emotions at all under that mask of hers, at whatever this fidget spinner themed monster had been and was probably totally determined to crush her enemy next time she saw her. I nodded pleasantly and hoped that there was a way out for Avaritia Wolf, or at least a quick painless end.

I feel 70% confident that Temperance is talking about Avaritia, and using she/her pronouns because she doesn't want to explain Spivak pronouns so she can risk spilling Magical Girl Secrets to Inessa's friend.

Usually I'd find an excuse to spend at least one day at Inessa's, but I didn't have it in me to face her with all the thoughts wreaking havoc in my head.

I don't think the Superb Snake intended to isolate Charleton from his existing support network, but he did. And it's probably the most effective part of his scheme.

Maybe it's weird to assume that Superbia is doing his alt-right pipeline solo act by accident, but between his vibes, his hilariously inaccurate evaluation of C, and the fact that he has a 0% recruitment rate if we allocate Invidia Bat to Avaritia, despite spending five days a week trying to find appropriate candidates...

"Hmm, you've certainly done a good job teasing your sins to the surface," he said, "though the form is still surprisingly vague. It would suffice for a mere monster, but…"

"What do you mean?" I asked, worried.

"I mean," he rose to his feet and swung his arms grandly, "that you've allowed your lusts, the essence of luxuria, to percolate through your thoughts, to transform your body into its vessel. And yet you hold yourself at the precipice, too bound by society's rules to take that leap that would set you apart from the lowly sheep around you. Are you ready, Charleton, to let loose that beast lurking deep in your soul, tear through these chains of false virtue holding you back and claim the power that should rightfully be yours?"

Mr. Noir offered me his hand as he spoke. His voice was as shrill and menacing as normal, but the anticipation was thick in his tone.

I hesitated. I had no idea what he was talking about, though obviously it had to make sense. This was the solution I needed. I needed to take his hand and become and all the anxiety and longing would finally stop.

"No?" I tried as gently as I could manage.

The snake has C in a state where he's only mildly confused when you talk about sins and monsters in a guidance counselor appointment, and outside that appointment she consciously agrees with basically everything he said, but she still doesn't accept his offer.
0/10 recruiter vibes here.

"I don't like being me, being C or Charleton or Charlie or any of these disgusting useless pathetic boys."

🥚
Also:

"That was not a request," Mr. Noir's mouth was leaking smoke. What was wrong with him? What was he?

I wanted to stand and run, but the full force of his eyes bore down on me and there was nothing to do but obey.

Shadell said:
At one end stood a throne, carved from what seemed to be solid obsidian. Sitting in it was Mr. Noir. I had no clue why Avaritia had grabbed me and my poor innocent school guidance counselor—

I don't know what Superb Snake puts in his incense, but it's some good shit.

Shadell said:
No, as nice as her vision sounded, as much as life would be so much easier for me if I could just decide to be a girl or something like that, she was just looking at me and trying to find a better person than the one in front of her.

C's gender denial and her self-loathing. Together, they are unstoppable.

"I'm not a transgender." I didn't manage to keep the frustration out of my voice, "It would be great if I was!"

I'd say 🥚, but there are plenty of obnoxiously cis dudes who have deluded themselves into thinking that trans people's lives are materially better than cis people's, because they get special privileges that cis people don't, and also that discrimination and violence is fake news.
Still, it's not not 🥚.

No one, I was sure, could really want to be the gender that made Inessa and her friends shout "Boys" and all know exactly what the problem was.

I wonder how different this story would have been if C knew a trans dude.
Probably he'd just need to work a little harder to justify his "It's normal for guys to want to be girls" assumptions.

It would be so easy if I could just abandon everything and be someone else without my baggage, with a hint of Temperance's stoicism or Inessa's charm or Ida's indefatigability.

Well, in the end, she decided to favor one of those three over the others. Say what you will about Invidia, she is not stoic.

The doorbell rang. ... I got up from the table and went to my bedroom so I could steal a glance out from the second floor window. There, against all reason, stood Lupin Noir. As if she could sense me watching, she lifted her head. ... Then she opened the front door and let herself into my house.

...

Gently, almost mockingly, she knocked on my door. I didn't answer. She opened the door anyway.

Avaritia's attitude towards Invidia in a nutshell. Knock on door, come in before she can say no.

[Avaritia Wolf's] outfit looked like a twisted reflection of Inessa's, keeping the frills and assorted ribbons, but trading the skirt for a pair of shorts and a tighter top that managed to slim her build down instead of accentuating it. All she was missing was the halo.

Should this say "Castitas's" instead of "Inessa's"? Castitas wears a different outfit than Inessa, after all, even if they're technically the same person.

"...but uncle dearest has told me alllll about what a messed up little freak you really are deep down, so I honestly have no idea why we're welcoming you into the fold."

Me said:
[Superbia] has a 0% recruitment rate, despite spending five days a week trying to find appropriate candidates...

Shadell said:
So, C finally hits their nadir!

Debatable.

Shadell said:
It seemed even knowing exactly what kind of pond scum I was deep down didn't stop her from expressing some kindness in the wake of that terrifying nothingness.

The second time we see Avaritia as Avaritia, Shadell chooses to call attention to eir kindness. Perhaps to balance out how the first time we saw em as emself, ey broke into C's house to hypnotize and kill "him".

"Come on," Avaritia stepped past me and grabbed my arm, roughly pulling me toward the doors. Whatever moment of shared suffering had stretched between us was gone now.

I find it interesting how Avaritia is all hot-and-cold before ey learn what C really is.

But the idea that Mr. Noir was evil was simply so impossible.

Shadell said:
"Hmm, you've certainly done a good job teasing your sins to the surface," he said, "though the form is still surprisingly vague. It would suffice for a mere monster, but…"

Buying that brain-fog incense was the best choice Superbia ever made. Unless Uriel got it for him.

Shadell said:
I guess it made sense. This probably wasn't how they made normal monsters, so Superbia was trying to turn me into a new lieutenant or something.

It's a good thing that C's genre savvy. It balances out her self-obliviousness.

The seed floated up from his hand, bleeding darkness into the throne room as it floated slowly toward me. I struggled with everything I had, but couldn't escape Avaritia's vice-like grip. She seemed all too glad to see me suffer.

Slowly it crossed the distance, pausing ominously in front of my forehead for just a moment.

I screamed, I begged. Neither Superbia nor Avaritia nor the seed paid my pleas the slightest attention.

With a crack, the seed shot at me. Then it thudded painfully against my head and bounced to the ground where it rolled harmlessly to the side.

For one agonizingly long moment all three of us stood there in silence.

"Was that supposed to happen?" I asked awkwardly.

I love this gag. Great build-up and release of tension.

"Obviously our estimations of his readiness were premature. No matter, my plan is perfect and he shall come to harbor Luxuria in due time."

Captain Kuro vibes. Avaritia had better watch out.

I hesitated, "I don't know? It probably should have. You said it yourself, I'm a sick freak right? I'm not hiding that anymore after I basically shouted it to the entire school, so, no, I don't have a clue why that didn't work!"

She bared her teeth for a moment. I flinched. She sighed, then shook her head energetically from side to side, clearing her thoughts.

"Okay," she said, "let's take a step back. What did you shout to the entire school?"

Great, now even Lupin's evil doppelganger wanted to catch up on gossip.

There are some pretty obvious reasons Avaritia Wolf would want the deets. C's subconscious knows there's a connection between Lupin and Wolf.

Avaritia's eyes softened and something unrecognizable made its way across her face, "So you admire her. And that makes you a pervert? Walk me through that," the anger was mostly gone now.

"There's something depraved about the way I admire Castitas" is apparently all it took for Avaritia to see through C's cast-iron eggshell. (Or osmium or hypercompressed iridium or whatever, but regardless of the density we assign, I prefer the sound of "cast. iron. eggshell.") She needs some follow-up questions to confirm it, but...

"—and Superbia explained it badly but that's mostly because he's kinda a pretentious old guy and honestly your earth books have only made him worse since we got here.."

I wonder what he read. Beyond Order? Atlas Shrugged? JKR's mystery novels?

Okay, yes, she had realized something (or thought she had) and immediately changed the subject and I had no idea why, but that did almost sound plausible. But Superbia's nonsense had sounded plausible too.

Despite eir 100% recruitment rate, Avaritia's pitch has two big weaknesses compared to Superbia's.
First, Superbia was kinda denigrating C's hidden desires; those feelings are evil, but embrace them anyways. Avaritia is trying to convince C that they're good.
Second—

Also my main experience with Avaritia bringing people's sins to the surface involved her turning them into monsters and sending them out to wreak havoc.

It's the MCU Villain Effect. No matter how good a point you make, it's easy to dismiss if you are also a card-carrying monster.
beat

"I, uh, I'm not joining you or turning evil? You'll have to kill me first," I tried to find some scrap of defiance.

I love how C falls back on cliches when she's confused.

"Besides, our team is the best; you'll agree once you get it."

Your team is you, an unpleasant old faildemon, and a mysterious angel who's barely around. Your team sucks.

"But, well, Superbia's himself and you gotta be careful how you talk to him. And coming out as an enbie would be hard while, you know, just saying that 'oooh, look at me I am soooo greedy. I have to have alllllll the pronouns all to myself, how strange the nature of sin' is pretty easy, and he will absolutely roll with basically anything you justify like that."

This is another instance of Superbia's clown behavior, and also the first indication that Avaritia is a bit of a clown herself. "Our team is the best! Sure, I don't think I could ever come out to our leader, who is also the only team member aside from myself who's consistently present, but it's a good team!"

If Gula was gone (I wasn't going to think about what that might mean just now) I could see why Avaritia craved a friend so badly. Her only remaining companionship was a superior who bossed her around and yelled at him all the time and didn't even accept them for themself.

Even Batclown over here recognizes the terrible deal Avaritia got.

"Honestly, I should have known better than to trust Superbia over my own instincts on you."

Confirmation that even Avaritia can't ignore Superbia's 0/10 clown vibes.

"Maybe you can't explain how you could have it, so you think about it, but you can't bring yourself to admit you want what you want and legitimize yourself and I could just tell you but then you'd just growl and resist and bite me and then go all guilty and be all 'woe is me' for a month and shut down and refuse to think about anything. Gula did that back in the day before we got her sorted out!"

If we're lucky, Shadell will think of a neat idea for an ALV prequel that she really wants to write.

Anyways, if Temperance used to be like C is in this chapter, then Chiro trying to break another tgirl out of her shell is repeating Temperance's arc more precisely than we thought. ("We" here excludes people who remembered that line.)

I dreamt of dark roots spreading throughout my body like a second nervous system. They twisted around my spine and stuck barbs into my veins to sup my blood. I tried to scratch myself, to tear at my flesh until I could get them out of me, but the plant would not be stopped. Threadlike tendrils perforated my muscles, seizing control of my body from me. They surrounded my heart in a protective sphere of dark green brambles that tore my insides to shreds with every breath so they could spread more, devouring me inch by inch by inch, until nothing of Charlie remained but a thin skin hiding a twisted sapling.

Remember when some people argued that the Invidia Seed was just an extension of C's true self, or at least a benign presence? I should've quoted this paragraph at them. The paragraph where Invidia's infiltration is described with such horrific terms, where C describes it trying to devour her, explicitly says it seizes control from her.

I couldn't meet her gaze, "I think it was when you were fighting B-Baller? Ida called you by your name and you kept slipping up on calling me C when you tried to get me out of that giant basketball."

I'd like to imagine that B-Baller was kicking the giant basketball around. It's using its feet because it's cheating at soccer. Because it's evil!

"I'm glad," she hugged me, practically falling onto the bed, "I've worried that, with so much time doing this and not being able to say anything and that we'd drift apart or stop being friends or…."
...
"I mean, I said a lot of pretty nasty stuff before I got caught. I want to blame that all on Mr. Noir brainwashing me, but if you don't forgive me or you don't want to see me again or you want me to not be around you in public or anything I'd totally understand. It's what I deserve."

Strong family resemblance.

I hadn't turned into a catgirl and—

Why catgirl?

—and Inessa didn't seem to think I would, so—

C. Answer the question. Why catgirl? Have you put thought into what kind of animal girl you'd want to be? Is that a normal cisgender thing to do?

—so it had probably been another mistake.

I guess it would be for cis girls. But you're not one of those, C.

Oh. Of course I wasn't doing a good job at hiding how bitter things had gotten.

Yeah. When people get nervous about your dad, your only response is "He hasn't hit me ~~yet~~."

"Did they really think there was actually a chance we'd end up together?" I didn't have the energy to process things, and juicy gossip about Inessa's agonizingly wonderful family was a more than welcome distraction.

Inessa laughed, "I know right!"

Shadell was sinking that ship right from the start. And mocking anyone who stayed on board.

And, what's this?! Just as the Angelic Saints think they have the upper hand against Avaritia Wolf, a new warrior from the Abyssal Garden appears!

Remember when some people thought the new warrior might not be C?
Who else would it be? This series has a very small cast of named characters and everyone else already had a supernatural alternate identity. (Unless you count Mr. Brandt and Mrs. Brandt as names.)

Shadell · Apr 22, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
From other chapters, we know this is January 26th. The most recent Fri Jan 26 was 2024, 2018 before that, 2008 before that. 2008 is probably too early, but '18 and '24 are probably both reasonable estimates.

I used a 2018 calendar, yeah

GreatWyrmGold · Apr 22, 2024

Reread commentary part 3 (chapters 5-6)
I make no promises of any kind. They're as fragile as eggshells. (Normal ones, I mean.)

Shadell said:
"Anyway," he continued, looking to me, "Emma and I were talking and—"

Oh, apparently Mrs. Brandt is a named character.

"My dad's not," I wanted to cry or thank them or tell them this was one of the nicest things anyone had offered me. Instead I hid behind my canned lines, "he's never hurt me or anything like that."

As with many of C's problems, it's easier to see this as a red flag from outside her head. But I'm kinda shocked no one has pointed out what a red flag it is that "My dad hasn't (physically) hurt me" is one of his canned lines.

Inessa's house was only a few doors down from mine.

Hold up.

Shadell said:
"Magical girl powers to drop me off across the street from my house."

...do they live in a cul-de-sac, or did Shadell not take notes on the geography of C and Inessa's block?

Shadell said:
She laughed awkwardly, her expression mirroring my own dawning horror, "I went after you as soon as the vice principal stopped yelling at Temperance…"

Hm, yeah. That probably looked pretty bad to bystanders. Especially if Temperance has a history of this sort of malfeasance.

Shadell said:
And sure, shortly after school someone at the GSA turned into one of the the new monsters and we had to rush to get there before it managed to get away from Temperantia. But that part was easy, for all Temperance seemed intensely determined to inform us that it absolutely wasn't her doing. I'd only teased her about it once, there was no need to be so insistent really.

Anyways, it's kinda funny that one of the few faculty members in this story is the vice principal.

Shadell said:
"Nah, basically everyone heard all about that, at least looking at the school group chats, so it isn't really news. Besides I wouldn't gossip about a co-conspirator like that!"

"EH!" Inessa glanced between Lupin and me, utterly confused by this development.

"Co-conspirator?" I tried.

"Exactly!" she mimed shooting me with finger guns before flashing a thumbs up, "that's right, gotta keep that all on the DL at school, don't we," she paused and glanced toward Inessa.

"EHHHH!" Inessa obliged.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about."

It's a good thing Temperance is always almost late to school, or else she might have overheard this and figured out what was going on even faster.

"We've talked, like, once! Why are you acting like you're my best friend now?"

"Ooh, bestie! ...and we've definitely talked at least twice and they were both good conversations!"

I wonder how long it took Avaritia to realize C was still affected by eir identity-hiding magic. And whether ey were embarrassed about eir conduct later. (Probably not, but ey'd never let it show.)

I knew that most people didn't care; that not all of our AP Psychology class' ever-present whispers were about me; but enough were that it felt like any of them might be about me. And that made the difference almost academic.

It's like a gossip panopticon. A...panloquicon?

At least, no one seemed to have gotten the mistaken impression that I was transgender.

I wanted to scream—

You and Avaritia both.

The green haired girl in the mirror was far more defined than any other girl I'd dreamt of being. [...] Actually, her everything was reminiscent of Inessa. It was all just a bit smaller, a—

Even shorter than Inessa??

Also, does Castitas have the same hairstyle and stuff as Inessa? Because if not, that might help explain why no one seemed to notice that the bat girl was a photo-negative copy of the Saint with bat bits pasted on.

Inessa was already doing whatever it was she did with the strange pieces of amber that seemed to come out of defeated monsters.

Lore tidbit I'll need to remember if I write one of those fanfics I've been thinking of.

Well, this wouldn't do at all! Interfering in a duel between two people who were almost as pretty as this me—

Careful, Invidia. You're edging in on Superbia's territory!

Besides, yes, being pretty and wearing cute clothes were things everyone wanted deep down—

🥚 cope

Freed from the pressure of their assault by my absurd entrance, a half-drowned wolf picked eirself up and shouted something angry in dreamspeak toward Temperantia, then, preempting Temperantia's reply, turned and waved ecstatically to me, grinning cheerfully.

I wish we could know what Avaritia said to Gula.

They find rumors about an art prodigy known for volunteering her time teaching at a local daycare. However, before the girls can figure out if she has the talent to become Angelic Saint Patientia, Avaritia attacks!

Tune in for Episode 17: Natural Talent? The Painter's Secret Revealed!

I hope that kid has some completely unrelated thing going on. Like, the Painter's Secret is that she's an alien or a badass-normal vigilante or a magical girl fighting unrelated threats at a different school.

Shadell said:
"Oh right, you've been talking about him for months. Who's Michael?" I asked despite myself.

"M-MONTHS?!" Inessa stared at me in shock.

It's okay. Michael is arguably the best archangel name for you to let slip in regular conversation. Gabriel's about tied, Ariel is fine if you're willing to sing the odd Disney Renaissance song, Raphael isn't bad if you can convince people you're really into Renaissance painting or ninja turtles, Jerahmeel almost sounds like you mispronounced "Jeremy," Raguel sounds like pasta sauce, Uriel sounds like "urinal," Azrael is ominous, and I can't think of any jokes for the other obscure archangels.

"So new…. Snake? Worm? Possum? Manatee?"

Inessa shook her head, "Just a girl. At first she was almost, well it was dark already, so it was hard to see, but it was like she didn't have any features at all, but then she bit me and the miasma cleared and she looked just like an evil me!"

Interesting. Invidia wasn't batty back then.

I wonder if any of them thought she was Luxuria Bonobo or something.

"That leaves wrath, envy or sloth, so… figure out what she's so mad, jealous and or apathetic about and you can maybe help her get over it?"

The idea of being apathetic enough for your apathy to power a dark transformation is extremely funny to me. I think for Acedia Bear it was more burnout than apathy, which is way less funny, but still.

I frowned, "I guess… it depends why? Is she jealous because she's shallow and vain and wants all the rewards other people get without putting in any work or is it, like, she's angry at injustice or cops or the environment or something or she's being bullied and just wants it to stop or…"

She doesn't know that she's Envy, but she's already talking down about it. And leaving the question of "how can you be so tired you get sin power?" to the side.

Sure it would be nice if she stopped joking about shoving me in a skirt all the time, but [...] The thought of telling Temperance to stop sent an unpleasant surge of nausea through my gut.

🥚👗

"You could go part time on the girl bit if needed."
"Haha, if only," I laughed it off, fighting the urge to run away.
Temperance gave me another of her odd looks...

😑🥚

And Gula Shark was missing.

(munch munch)

On the other hand, these made Inessa insanely jealous, and, while it wasn't a nice thought, something about her looking at me with that kind of agonized want was just oddly invigorating.

Inessa's jealousy invigorated C? Huh. How weird.

I wonder if Lupin was trying to do that, or if ey are just expressing eir affection through acts of ~~charity~~ reflected greed.

Shadell · Apr 23, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
...do they live in a cul-de-sac, or did Shadell not take notes on the geography of C and Inessa's block?

Awkward phrasing that shall be fixed in the big edits for publication!

GreatWyrmGold · Apr 23, 2024

Reread commentary part 4 (chapters 7-9)
You guys know what to expect by now.

Shadell said:
Ida sighed, "This new Beast's Resinners are all… well, nothing will ever be as bad as Fidget Spinner, but they're all weird!"

Thus begins my attempt to figure out what's "weird" with this background element of the series. Rewind is the first of Invidia's Resinners that we get any details at all about (unless you count "was made from one of Ida's teammates), and...well, its effects are obvious.

Temperance as a scheming demon child was, suffice to say, novel.

Well, "child" is novel.

Inessa's complaints that really Orion and her evil counterpart Lady Horizon made a better couple than Orion and Prince Sirius were growing increasingly loud by the end of our third episode. In retrospect, I wasn't quite sure how anyone, especially Inessa, could ever have been surprised by the fact that Inessa was gay.

Hypocritical 🥚

I felt a spike of guilt at inadvertently prying a secret out from her while she was like this.

I think we need to review the definition of "prying". It's not something you can do on accident.

The diligent Ida glanced away, "Obviously you need to look after your health. But when things get hard, you just dig deeper and find it in you if it really matters!"

Man. Ida would fit right in among the First Tree people Avaritia and Gula ran away from. They would probably work her to death.

"You don't need to be good enough to belong," I found myself saying. It was the kind of thing that should be true, but often wasn't in the end. It was still what Ida needed to hear. "Your friends aren't friends with you because you meet some standard as a person."

🪞

"You're all still friends with me and I'm basically useless at everything!"

Well, I guess she's aware that that affirmation applies to her. She just doesn't like it.

Shadell said:
The droplet gave her what she needed, gave the song in her heart that little bit of strength it needed to crack through all those walls she'd built around the songbird in her heart and set herself free to sing.

Oh, she made a little birdhouse in her soul.

I'd expected dad to be angry with me missing school, and he hadn't been happy that they'd had to call him about my 'irresponsibility.' But he had always been uncomfortably enthusiastic about my relationship with Inessa, and he'd laughed off that at least he "didn't have to worry about me being gay." That didn't stop him from warning me what might happen if I got caught skipping again though.

Is this the first time Mr. C's Dad appears "onscreen," painted directly and not just in the negative space of what C's afraid to do? It's...an impression.

"Fidget Spinner?" I cut her off. I'd heard the name a few times so far, exclusively in this context. Inessa shuddered, then nodded. "What was the deal with that one anyway."

"C," Inessa turned to stare at me very seriously, "we don't talk about that thing; we don't think about it; we do not acknowledge that it ever existed."

Naturally, that just meant I had to get the story one way or another someday.

I hope Invidia asked Avaritia about it when she had the chance. Ey're about the only person who'd know about Fidget Spinner and would also be willing to share the story.

Inessa nodded seriously, "It kept copying and reflecting our attacks like, well, a version of her almost. Except this one was a giant humanoid tiger with a microphone and not my evil twin."

So, Kopier Kat copies powers like proto-Invidia. Or maybe it's just an attack reflector? And it's Tony the Idol?
I wish we had a better baseline of what Avaritia and Gula's Resinners were like so I could figure out what's so weird about these guys.

"C!" she whispered urgently, "perfect, walk into school with me so Lupin will come talk to us together!"

"Inessa…." I offered sadly, "have you considered just talking to her like a normal person?"

"No," she grabbed my hand and began to walk purposively past Lupin, "don't ask stupid questions."

What is wrong with allos?

"Again, I'm so so sorry, you shouldn't have to do anything so if you want me to go hang out somewhere else or something, that's okay and…"

"C!" Inessa cut me off, looking a lot more alarmed, "It's okay! I'm not really that angry. Look, I was a little hurt that you just said that in front of Lupin like that, but it's not like it was on purpose or anything and you don't have to make it up to me and we definitely don't want you to leave!"

That's always the first thing she goes to. "Do you want me to leave? You must want me to leave. I'm so miserable and useless."

"Actually," I hesitated at the door, "W-what's it like being transgender anyway?"

Temperance closed her eyes and ignored me, for long enough that I thought I was being dismissed, before she spoke.

"It's like learning how to want without hating yourself for wanting."

Makes sense that she'd frame it that way, considering what we later learn about her and Avaritia's origins.

Shadell said:
"It means we need to go on a shopping trip! A regular girls' day out and all of that!" Lupin said this triumphantly, as if any of this sequence of events made sense.
"Well… have fun I guess?" I tried not to let any bitterness creep into my voice.
"Aww, you joker! Nope, it means you need to skip school and come with me!"

Lupin, you seem pretty familiar with pronouns. So you should be well aware of the ambiguity inherent to terms like "we" ("me and you" or "me and someone else"?). Especially when talking to someone who does not realize that she is a girl.

"Please?" she asked, the barest hint of a tremor in her voice. "I, uh, don't really have anyone to do this kind of thing with these days—"

It's a good thing ey're saying this quietly, or else Inessa would go absolutely feral.

"Look, you're saying everything," she grinned triumphantly, "Except that you don't want them. "Now, it'd break my poor little heart if you don't have something to match my new necklace; but, if it's not your thing, just say so."

"I don't wa…." I gazed into Lupin's pleading eyes and the protest died on my lips.

Fashion 🥚

"My dad would kill me," I said instead. That wasn't quite true, it wasn't like he'd ever actually hit me or anything.

"Oh," her eyes shifted toward the floor and her smile flickered. "Yeah, parents are like that, huh."

Yeah. That hit a nerve, huh.

Lupin returned to the belts, "I'm too greedy to stop her if taking the wrong path helps her work through some things."

Yes, that is what greed looks like. Letting things you consider yours leave for their own benefit.

I was being ridiculous, Lupin was just touchy-feely. She almost certainly didn't even see me as a boy versus just another friend.

Also, Lupin has made it quite clear that ey see you as a girl.

Lupin's childhood was unimaginable to me, and I had no idea who she meant by 'us'. But I knew what it was like to be pushed to become an ideal you're entirely unqualified to match.

...eh, too universal to get an emoji.

"Just be careful okay? It'd suck if the day had to end in the hospital."

She grinned, "Don't worry, we both know I'll be fine!"

Lupin. Avaritia. Wolf-kid. How have you not noticed C's talent for obliviousness? Between that and the identity-obfuscation perception-filter thingamajig, she has no idea why you'd be fine.

"Everyone hurts people," Avaritia's answer took a while, and eir tone was surprisingly serious, "Parents hurt their children to make them act 'right'. Corporations deny people life saving medicine for no reason and that's just 'normal'. But when a person does something right in front of you and you can't avert your eyes fast enough, suddenly that makes them the devil, even if it helps in the end and no one really gets that hurt!"

"That's ridiculous! You can't really think that!" Inessa cut Lupin off, looking more broken than when Lupin had blown her off this morning.

What Inessa probably meant: "You can't really think this is helping people!"
What Avaritia probably heard: "You can't really think it's okay to break the rules!"

"You're helping them, what, always get attacked?"

Avaritia, your monsters are the ones who keep attacking him!
Well, also Temperance's. But she doesn't try to claim moral superiority over Inessa and Ida for it!

LampWitch · Apr 23, 2024

Shadell said:
I wasn't sure how the actual hormones would interact with whatever my magic was doing to me, but MIchael seemed to think it was fine.

The "i" in Michael got capitalized.
Anyway, the idea that Michael might know of medicine makes sense, considering how biological the powers are. But is funny. I'm imagining a panicking plush dressed like a doctor, looking at her hands.

Shadell said:
People looked at her with all sorts of desires.

Chiro knowing people were into her feels so alien. 0/10, bad writing.

Shadell said:
"Huh," Ida said in a tone of voice I'd never heard from the usually confident Saint. "That's, huh. Well, the more you know." And then she laughed and rubbed the back of her head and returned to her lunch with gusto.

Slowly, Inessa turned to face Temperance, communicating something inscrutable but horrified in the private language only possessed by real girls, or maybe just real lesbians?

Oh, Chiro might be a lesbian and feel like an imposter about it too. Yeah, her thoughts on guys always were about her struggles with masculinity imposed on her, and suffering under toxic masculinity. Though she also was never shown thinking about a guy her age she knows.
Also, Ida is queer? Interesting. Guess she's joining the complex relationship net.

Shadell said:
In naming it, in acknowledging the distorted way I looked at my sister, I could render it transparent enough to start looking beyond myself.

Once again, the concept of naming rears its head. Too bad nothing deeper to say comes to mind.

Shadell said:
Inexplicably, it had pointed right at me. Some stranger in our school had envied my current mask. They had longed for the awkward trans girl struggling to breathe under hypervisibility, not Humanitas or Charlie or Inessa's mirror.

I wondered if they knew what they were feeling or why. Mostly though, I wondered what I would say to them and if it would be able to help.

Ah, and just like what we saw with Chiro's and Ida's conversation. The Saints help people, though Chiro's detection sense is still tuned to Invidia mode, which is likely different from the Saints'

Shadell said:
Ey weren't making Resinners anymore. At least not where we could find them. Instead, a new type of monster had appeared: grayscale creatures that felt fundamentally wrong in a way the Beasts' creations never had.

Really curious about what those are, and why they're being made. Uriel switched plans.

I'll really miss the experience of this story. I know stories gotta end rather than shamble as zombies, but this thread has been a lot of fun.

BethofDeath · Apr 23, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
Oh, she made a little birdhouse in her soul.

Not to put too fine a point on it, lest I put a bee in your bonnet, but I hope she keeps the lights on in the birdhouse in her soul.

Lain · Apr 23, 2024

GreatWyrmGold said:
🪞

Dishing out quality life and self-love advice from the bottom of your heart to friends and strangers you somehow never can apply to yourself nor can get convinced of, when told by others is one of those classic staples...

LampWitch · Apr 23, 2024

Oh, forgot to transfer this funny comment I had on discord after Chiro and Inessa had that fight.

Myself said:
A Little Vice fans when Chiro almost kills her childhood best friend, psychologically destroying her and finally actually hurting her friends in a way she can't take back.

Anyway, anyone wanna help touch up the TV Tropes page? Ugh, gonna need to look up all the manuals, after so long without editing. For Michael, gonna add something like master forger and big good, since her entry is so empty. I guess stuff like heartwarming moments gotta get added too.

A Little Vice (Trans Magical Girl fic)

Interested-Idiot-Immortal

Semi Genre-Savvy Overlord

Girls just wanna have pun

(Verified Sun God) (Verified Feathers)

Girls just wanna have pun

"Excuse me?"

Doka

"Excuse me?"

Backalley Watchdog

Girls just wanna have pun