thelordofmango
may be stupid
- Location
- under a rock
Maybe the real fidget spinner was the friends we made along the way.
A Little Vice (Trans Magical Girl fic)
- Thread starter Shadell
- Start date
- Original Users' Choice!
Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
- Location
- The Great Beyond
- Pronouns
- He/She/They
The evidence seems to be aggressively pointing in the direction that Temperance is formely Gula Shark, but given it's not been directly addressed it's genuinely unclear how much like. Continuity and memory and what have you she has there.
Like, even for things she knew, how much does she remember? The talk about her being 'special' and how they might be able to save the new Beast because they're not yet fully a beast etc seems to be pointing in the direction that Temperance did something more dramatic than simply decide to stop working for the bad guys, at which point until we get a clearer, more direct idea of what the before and after looked like, it's hard to say if she remembers much in detail at all.
In any event, given the apparent organization of Team Sin, and the fact that Lupin Noir/Avaritia is blatantly aware of Mr Noir being Superbia Dragon (and also C being the new Beast but that's slightly different), there's gotta be what, one of three basic scenarios going on?
- The civilian identities of the Noirs are outright new; they did not have these identities before Gula Shark defected to being Temperance.
- Avaritia and Superbia were aware of each others identities, but for some reason Gula was cut out from knowing these civilian identities.
- Temperance doesn't know things just because Gula did, memory loss/block/whatever is going on.
Inessa has been crushing on Lupin for 'all of senior year', whereas Temperance transferred in november. Lupin at least has been filling in the identity for awhile, and her claim is 'living with her uncle since she moved abroad to study'.
So it's not that Lupin suddenly showed up after Temperance as the beasts assumed new civilian identities or whatever.
Which leaves us at: Gula didn't know, Temperance lost some memories or something, or for some (very) strange reason Temperance is all in on team virtue, but not mentioning 'oh yeah the school guidance councilor is my old boss, Superbia Dragon Beast of Pride' which like.
There are so many reasons I don't buy 3 out of that set.
So yeah honestly I think it's safe to assume Temperance did something fairly dramatic that has included a certain amount of memory loss as a side effect.
Theaxofwar
Definitely not a Bunny Cat in disguise.
- Location
- Standing right behind you
Also to note Lupin only decided on Spivak pronouns after story start and before that was seemingly fine with everyone referring to em as female in school, having presumably not requested otherwise. So it's very possible Lupin wasn't (and maybe still isn't) out in school, and Gula was just respecting that.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Duh, forgot that. At least the thing with the identities of the remaining Beasts is a good thread to follow on. Temperance losing a chunk of her memories is brutal but at least she remembers enough to reminisce and wonder about her choice. So maybe she just lost information on the team.
We're making all those theories on how drastic the effects of the Beast transformation and side-swapping are and I'm just wondering if Shadell will blindside us with what actually goes on.
09. Could this be a date?! Inessa Brandt’s Day Off!
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Inessa paced anxiously in front of the school gates, one trembling hand clutching a small gift-wrapped package. We had agreed that, with February 14th being a half day, it'd be easiest for Inessa to make her move before school instead of hoping to catch Lupin during lunch or after classes let out.
We'd also agreed that it would be better if I was there for emotional support and Lupin bait, but far enough away that they could talk by themselves. So, I found myself waiting a few dozen feet from Inessa for a solid half hour in the cold and unpleasantly damp morning air. At least, Inessa's frenetic pacing was probably keeping her warm enough.
Finally, as the trickle of other students passing us turned into a stream, Lupin appeared. As was becoming the norm, she looked around before waving to me and heading directly in my direction. This was supposed to be Inessa's cue, and yet, the heroine of justice opted to freeze in place instead. She had seen Lupin, there was no question of that. I watched Lupin approach with a silent wince.
"Come on Inessa," I whispered under my breath. "You've got this!"
Finally, Inessa stepped forward in front of the goth, late enough that she might have bowled the other girl over if Lupin hadn't hopped backwards out of Inessa's path at the last moment. Despite the distance, I could still see that Lupin was distinctly amused at the exchange.
I could also see Inessa fumbling, turning the words we'd practiced yesterday evening into a series of incoherent noises going by her increasingly panicked gesticulations. Lupin nodded along, content to watch the morning's entertainment for however long Inessa's one woman show lasted.
"HERE!" Inessa shouted at last, startling a few other students as she shoved the box at Lupin. Finally, it was Lupin's turn to freeze. She surveyed the gift-wrapped package in what had to be mute confusion. .
"H-happy, umm, V-valentines…" I, and every student outside the school could clearly hear Inessa's voice as it gradually fizzled into awkward silence.
Lupin looked at the gift, then at Inessa, as if she wasn't quite sure what to make of the exchange. Then something clicked and she smiled brightly and took the box. I couldn't hear what she said to Inessa, as Lupin had not forgotten how to control the volume of her voice in a gay panic, but I could see Inessa all but melt in response.
Lupin took the box of chocolates and placed it firmly in her bag and then, a little awkwardly, ruffled Inessa's hair. I let out the breath I'd been holding. Inessa had done it. Now she and Lupin could start to get closer.
Then, as Inessa predictably froze, Lupin turned and bounced toward me heedless of Inessa's hurt look.
"That was neat! Anyway, how are you doing this morning C!" She looked me over appraisingly as if Inessa hadn't all but confessed to her. "I see, I see. You're coming along really nicely you know!"
"I, what?" I wanted to be irritated that Lupin had blown past Inessa's feelings so rapidly, but as usual, the goth girl mostly just left me befuddled.
Lupin demonstratively jabbed me in the chest.
"Oww!" I offered, rubbing the affected area. For some reason, it hurt far more than I would have anticipated.
"Yep, yep! Just as I thought. Coming along pretty nice indeed!" she said knowingly.
"What."
"Anyway, you know what this means?" Lupin said, running directly past the fact that I very clearly had no clue what any of this meant.
Mutely, I shook my head, as much at our meticulously planned morning going off the rails as at Lupin's question. This was not how this was supposed to go. Inessa and Lupin were supposed to talk, and I was supposed to be here offering silent emotional support to Inessa. Instead, incomprehensibly, Lupin had ignored Inessa after all her work and turned her attention to me.
"It means we need to go on a shopping trip! A regular girls' day out and all of that!" Lupin said this triumphantly, as if any of this sequence of events made sense.
"Well… have fun I guess?" I tried not to let any bitterness creep into my voice. Lupin couldn't have known how much effort Inessa had invested into this little exchange.
"Aww, you joker! Nope, it means you need to skip school and come with me!" Lupin said, profoundly missing the hint.
Pitch black nails wrapped around my wrist with vice-like strength and Lupin started dragging me away.
"W-wait!" I planted my feet to try and resist the inexorable goth. "Y-you should try going with Inessa instead! I'm sure I'd be useless shopping and if you want a girls' day out, Inessa would be much better company."
Lupin had already hurt things with Inessa, I was sure of that. But if I could just reorient her, maybe the day would still turn out okay?
Lupin stopped, then turned to face me with a pout. "Oh come on!" she said. "I'm your friend, Inessa's nice and all, but, like, I want to spend time with you."
Behind Lupin, I could see Inessa's face distorting into a variety of increasingly tragic expressions as she stumbled toward us.
"I really can't afford to miss school," I parried, trying and failing to pull my hand from Lupin's grip. This was supposed to be Inessa's role. Inessa was the one people liked, the one who'd been working up her courage for days to take that little step and talk to Lupin. Her efforts were supposed to be rewarded. That's what everyone wanted to see.
Lupin flashed me a smile, pearly white canines peeking out from beneath her purple lipstick, "Now now, your grades are fine! You haven't gotten attacked by monsters in weeks, so really you've gotta be way ahead as hard as you work."
She was right, though I'd had no clue she'd been paying attention enough to know that. At the same time, I liked being able to actually attend class and not have to do makeup studying while also nursing a sprained ankle or arm or a minor head injury.
"I can't." I said stubbornly, silently apologizing to Inessa.
The smile fell from Lupin's face, and she let me go, looking a bit like she was the one being dragged somewhere against her will.
"Please?" she asked, the barest hint of a tremor in her voice. "I, uh, don't really have anyone to do this kind of thing with these days and my uncle's been in a mood lately and, of course we hang out, but it feels like it's always just a casual meeting at school and…. I was kind of hoping we could, umm…"
That simply wasn't fair. I wondered how long Lupin had been working up the courage to ask this. It was hard to see beneath her veneer of confidence, but the way she said 'please' left me starting to suspect that her carefree attitude might mask as much trouble expressing herself as Inessa's ineloquent stammers.
"Y-you should go," Inessa said weakly. "Go and, umm, have fun!" her voice cracked; she was smiling, but I could see a tear dripping down the side of her face.
"I-is it really okay?" I asked her.
"Just go!" Inessa stomped her foot. "Don't worry about me!"
Lupin glanced between us, finally realizing just how much tension filled the air. "So…." her voice trailed off awkwardly.
I didn't know what to do. Today was supposed to be a bridge between Inessa and Lupin, a way for them to get closer, and sure, I'd have been pushed to the side a little, but I belonged in the background anyway. And yet, some tiny little bitter part of me was happy that Lupin had looked at Inessa and—for inscrutable reasons—opted for my company instead, that Lupin wanting to ask me to hang out somehow provoked a fraction of the anxiety Inessa felt approaching Lupin.
Inessa's day was already ruined. Would it actually help anything if I crushed Lupin's hopes as well? And Inessa had already given her permission. She didn't want me to blow Lupin off. I wanted to run away, but if that just ended up upsetting both Inessa and Lupin, it would be the worst outcome of all.
"Okay," I sighed. What was the worst that could happen?
---
"No, anything but this," I edged away in horror from the creature advancing on me: a pair of twisted hooks in its hands, an even more twisted grin upon its lips. How had it gone so wrong, so fast?!
At Lupin's insistence, I'd once again found myself in the mall alongside a Lupin who clearly knew her way around this crumbling piece of Americana.
As it was, the mall was mostly deserted at this time on a Wednesday morning (or, I snidely thought, basically at any time on any day). Lupin had dragged me down the largely empty concourse with a clear sense of purpose, marching us into a boutique. The words "Hot Topic" were emblazoned in black block letters against the white mall wall above the store's entrance.
I'd anticipated boredom—and a chance to think over my lingering guilt about Inessa's situation—while Lupin picked out some stuff for herself and pretended that my input would have mattered. It had definitely seemed like the kind of place she would shop, going by the amount of elaborate all black-clothing clothing and the frankly excessive amount of chains.
And that seemed to be exactly what she was doing when she'd marched to the jewelry and began foraging through bits and bobs. Occasionally, she'd held something up to me, an earring or a necklace, before returning it to the tray with a shake of her head. I hadn't thought to wonder why she was doing that until it was too late.
Finally she'd grabbed a purple apple necklace that promptly went in a pocket and a somewhat similar looking pair of green apple earrings.
I'd breathed a sigh of relief. Watching Lupin shop hadn't been boring per-say. The way she'd surveyed all these little cheap accessories with an expert's eye and then asked my input now and then like I was somehow involved in this whole process had felt oddly nice.
But, then she'd turned to me with that smile and said those horrid words. "I think these will suit you perfectly C!"
I'd shaken my head. I'd told her that, as a guy, obviously I had no use for them. She'd insisted that plenty of guys wore earrings and pointed to the cashier who, indeed, seemed to be a guy with enough metal in his ears to drastically elevate the local average.
I told her that my ears weren't pierced, she told me that that was an easily solved problem..
And, deprived of excuses, I'd resorted to denial and retreat. That had only served to stimulate some predatory instinct lurking in the dark corners of Lupin's brain. And that brought us to the present situation, with a monster advancing on me, her face carved into a sadistic grin.
I backed away, shaking my head, "No, anything but this!"
Lupin advanced, offering the earrings to me. "Come on, you know they'd look cute on you, a great match for your eyes!"
"My eyes are brown!" That at least gave me room for a logical rebuttal. Besides, nothing really looked cute on me.
"With cute little green flecks in them when the light hits right. It'll look great!" Wait, what? I had never noticed that.
"Look, you're saying everything," she grinned triumphantly, "Except that you don't want them. "Now, it'd break my poor little heart if you don't have something to match my new necklace; but, if it's not your thing, just say so."
I scanned the store for any escape. I thought I saw a flash of red out of the corner of my eye, but, upon glancing that way, the store was as empty as it had been the entire time.
"I don't wa…." I gazed into Lupin's pleading eyes and the protest died on my lips. "My dad would kill me," I said instead. That wasn't quite true, it wasn't like he'd ever actually hit me or anything.
"Oh," her eyes shifted toward the floor and her smile flickered. "Yeah, parents are like that, huh. Anyway!" She turned back to me. "You can hold on to them for now, and, eventually, you'll be able to wear them. You'll find a place where you can be you."
I thought of Lupin's uncle and how Avaritia, of all people, had seemed terrified of what he might do to em for my failure to become a monster. I really had no reason to complain when that's what Lupin was probably dealing with.
"Sure," I managed, wondering at the strange idea of me owning earrings. It wasn't that wild. I realized that the years when a boy with pierced ears was shocking and controversial had long passed. Even so, it felt illicit.
Immediately Lupin brightened and wrapped me in a hug, "Now that's the reaction I was hoping for bestie!"
She pocketed the earrings with the necklace and hopped over toward a display of belts.
"See any you like?" she asked as if anything in this store was something someone like me could pull off.
"They're kinda… a lot," I said, staring at a belt covered with studs and skulls and dangling chains.
"Well, obviously!" Lupin picked up one with a wolf's head buckle, examining it critically, "that's the whole point! It's armor, a way of showing the world that no one gets to stop you from going over the top or being too much, that you're not afraid of what they'll do to you anymore and that you can build an identity for yourself no matter how corny or cheap or commercial and they can't do anything to bring you down."
Lupin picked up a long belt covered with spikes, "This is not a $19.95 faux leather belt! No, it is a declaration of freedom, even if being free means indulging in terrible taste and bad cliches and spending money you shouldn't on all sorts of silly things!"
I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. Lupin was fascinating in the way she managed to go from bubbly goth to demagogue from one moment to the next. On some level this was ridiculous. On another, there was a desperate passion driving her every word, as if she needed to be heard and understood.
"That sounds pretty impressive when you put it like that." I had to give her that, however absurd the contents of her speech.
She nodded, "You should try finding your own armor." She stopped, "Umm, unless your dad would be a problem there."
"He is," I said, bitterly.
"Ah, then I'll store the dress for you."
That would probably have induced some kind of panic, had not Temperance been going out of her way to desensitize me to the fact that sometimes people in real life just wanted to force-femme you for incomprehensible reasons.
"Is that what's going on? This is some new ploy from Temperance?" I might have been a little bitter at the thought that Lupin would brush Inessa's feelings aside just because she'd had a plan to jump in on the 'Make Fun of Charlie Brigade'.
"No," Lupin blushed, as the word came out a bit sharper than she seemed to have intended. "She's not really on speaking terms with me these days."
"Oh, umm, sorry…" And, great, obviously they weren't conspiring, I'd never even seen them together in the first place.
Lupin returned to the belts, "I'm too greedy to stop her if taking the wrong path helps her work through some things. And she looks a lot happier now, so it's probably working out for her." Lupin's voice was too carefully magnanimous to be as okay as she claimed to be. There was something there that had yet to scab over and I wondered what the story was. No matter what, finding out that someone you were close to—Mom's face flashed through my mind—felt better off without you specifically in their lives… That had to hurt.
"But," Lupin sneered, "They should know that I'm greedy enough to take her back the moment that she finds out exactly where that road leads. Besides, I've got the most adorable new partner now, so there's no need to mope!" she winked at me meaningfully then dropped the belt back into the display and moved to examine a shelf full of skirts.
I found myself picturing Lupin and Temperance together. Something about that felt familiar and I couldn't help but wonder if Lupin and Temperance had been an item. As far as I knew, Lupin had only started school this year, so it wasn't impossible she'd known Temperance before the latter transferred in. I had no clue what mistaken path Lupin would think the Saint of Temperance was taking, but I had no business asking really.
"That doesn't seem very greedy," I fired back instead.
"Of course it is! It's the greediest thing of all!" There was an undercurrent of zeal in her voice, "To steal a little happiness for yours, even if it means they get to make mistakes and do the wrong thing, that's greedy. Otherwise, why'd everyone care so much about making sure you only get to be happy if you can do it while you look and act 'right.'"
"That," I shrugged, "still sounds more like being nice?"
"I contain multitudes; I am both nice and greedy! It's the best combination you know! I get to be nice to those I like and I don't have to put up with anyone else."
"And yet," I sighed dramatically, "you're joining Temperance in trying to force me into a skirt club."
"Mmmh hmm, because I want you happy," she ran her hand through the fabric of a skirt before frowning and shaking her head. "And some people are only happy when they get a little push."
She abandoned the skirts in favor of advancing on me, carelessly intruding into my personal space until she was only inches from me. One hand traced its way across my jaw.
"That's you isn't it? You complain and you snark and apologize and deep down you like it when you get pushed like this. You need to be forced to be the center of attention, to get fussed over, at least, fussed over the right way. And you're so close to letting yourself realize everything you're missing. Obviously a greedy greedy girl would want to give you a little shove to get you to the finish line."
"I, umm, that's.." I failed to find a word. Was she flirting with me? That would make no sense, why would someone as beautiful and cool as Lupin flirt with someone like me? Besides, she had just suggested she was gay. Of course she could be into both guys and girls. But if she was, Inessa had made her feelings perfectly clear and I obviously couldn't compete with Inessa.
I gulped, and Lupin slid closer still, till we were practically nose to nose. Her eyes looked up to mine, and yet, somehow it felt like she was looking down at me instead. Literal resinners had left me feeling less like prey than Lupin in that moment.
I broke eye-contact first, searching for something, anything, to break the strange stalemate I found myself in. I found it in Inessa's surprised face, staring at me in horror from behind a comically large pair of sunglasses and a fedora she'd clearly pulled from a nearby rack.
"I should wait outside," I stepped away from Lupin and dashed toward the door, trying not to be sick.
Obviously I was being an idiot. There was no way Lupin, or anyone, would be interested in me. Besides, she was almost certainly gay or bi, and if she was, Inessa was, quite literally it seemed, right there.
The stale air of the mall, and the vista of abandoned storefronts proved just the thing to calm me down. I was being ridiculous, Lupin was just touchy-feely. She almost certainly didn't even see me as a boy versus just another friend. And like, would I really want her to? Inessa had been crushing on her forever. I couldn't betray her like that, even if there was nothing there after months of quiet sighs and…
"Here," Lupin's voice was more embarrassed than anything else as she handed me the earrings and a strip of dark green ribbon, "An apology gift for before, no refusals."
"You don't have to apologize, and what even is this anyway?"
"A choker! I believe you're legally required to have at least one." I had no clue what Lupin meant, but she shoved it into my hands and stepped past me before I could object.
"Anyway, beyond finally getting to come here with a friend I don't really have much of an agenda today. Should we check out another store? Hit up the food court?" Her voice was hurried, with an awkward pitch to it.
"Food court sounds fine," I offered just as unnaturally, wrapping the earrings in the ribbon and placing both in my pocket.
So we made our way to the food court and acquired horrific imitation Chinese food. Sadly, the awkward atmosphere prevented us from commiserating over the cultural crimes pretending to be lo mein.
"See!" Lupin said eventually, unable to endure the silence. "This is what I mean when I say I'm greedy! I don't go slow when I should. Anyway, let's just forget that happened."
"I—" what did she think had happened? Lupin had been friendly and I'd run away in a panic, "Look, you were fine, I just," misread things and had seen Inessa and been terrified that things would compound and the person I loved most in the world would think I'd betrayed her. None of that had been Lupin's fault, not really. "It was getting a little stuffy in there and I, umm, sorry."
She shook her head, "You did nothing wrong! I was being pushy; you're allowed to get overstimulated or want some air or some space to sort yourself out. It's important to remember not to let anyone, even me, push you too much and…" she trailed off again. "Let's just forget it and pretend it never happened?"
"What never happened?" I asked uncertainly.
"Exactly!" Lupin reiterated.
"Okay…."
She beamed at me. "I really like it here, you know," she said, grabbing the topic by the horns and forcing it to change.
I made an appropriately curious noise to indicate my acceptance of the escape from mutual awkwardness. I needn't have bothered; Lupin needed no assistance to build momentum.
"It's, like, this is where teenagers go to spend money they shouldn't on junk we don't need. It's frivolous! It's fun! It's hip! And, like," she hesitated, "For the longest time, even after we'd decided to come here, my uncle didn't really want us going out. But, we got to watch your TV and see everything through that little box and wonder what it was like."
She took a bite of noodles, seeming to savor the thoroughly unappetizing pseudo-meat. "And now I get to actually come to one of these and it's better than I imagined. Okay it's dying, I get that, but it's still here and it still means something and if anything being halfway dead just makes it shine even more and getting to be here with a friend…" She blushed. Lupin, who I was fairly certain didn't understand the concept of embarrassment, blushed. "I've never really gotten to do anything like this."
A part of me ached to tell Lupin that it hadn't been hip to hang out in the mall for at least a decade. But I could hardly do it after that speech.
"What was your childhood like?" I asked instead. I couldn't place a lot of what she said into any semblance of a normal life, but enough sounded alarming, even beyond the fact that her uncle was evil, that I found myself worrying for Lupin.
"It sucked and I hated it." Lupin responded cheerfully. "They did everything they could to try and make us into 'virtuous children', no matter what would have broken along the way."
I winced at that. "I'd say 'I'm sorry,' but that wouldn't cover it, would it?"
She shook her head. "No, but we got away, in the end. I mean," she laughed, "I'm pretty flexible, you know. I could have bent myself up enough to fit in without breaking. But we didn't and now things are better and someday we'll get to go back and force them to see that they're wrong and then there won't be any more kids like us!"
A noise I couldn't quite identify made its way out of my lips. Lupin's childhood was unimaginable to me, and I had no idea who she meant by 'us'. But I knew what it was like to be pushed to become an ideal you're entirely unqualified to match.
And yet, I couldn't imagine having the feeling of purpose that came through in Lupin's words, the weight she placed on her values and the way she could dedicate herself to a cause. I wondered what it would feel like to believe so much in something.
"Anyway," Lupin swerved the conversation back to the trivial as easily as she breathed. "Anything else you want to do today while we're here?"
"Do they have a bookshop?" I asked, glad for an escape from the weight of Lupin's ideals.
"A tiny one, but they do have some things if you want to head that way," So spake Lupin: Mall Expert.
So we dumped our trays at the nearest garbage can and made our way down the mall concourse until we reached a small nook full of shelves that were stretched higher than I could reach. I studiously pretended not to notice the redhead shadowing our steps. I had no idea what to say to her or how she was doing, but pointing out that I knew she was there could only hurt and there'd be time to check in with Inessa later.
And, to be honest, it was hard to remember to worry about that sitting on the carpet of the romance section, surrounded by the scent of paperbacks, pretending the bookstore was a library as I alternated reading and failing to explain the appeal of the genre to a curious Lupin.
It was a good day. Well, until the Resinner attacked.
We didn't see it at first. But, after the third time, you don't really need to see it to recognize the signs. Someone screamed in the distance, soon joined by others with a bestial voice calling out louder than any of them. Footsteps added a frantic percussion to things as panic sent the mall's denizens scurrying for safety and showed just how many people could manage to be in a nearly empty mall. More than any of that, the air carried a charge. It was hard to describe, but there was a static charge in the air whenever a monster was near, like the world itself was reacting to their presence.
Besides, we were out in public and Inessa was nearby. It had been inevitable. So few days had ended as nicely as they'd begun since Inessa became Castitas.
I saw Inessa poke her head out from behind a shelf and look around nervously, no doubt worrying that Lupin might see her transform. At least, no one else had stuck around the bookshop but the three of us. That meant the problem was easily fixed. I rose to my feet and began dragging Lupin toward the only exit via a path about as directly away from Inessa as I could manage. The sooner she transformed, the sooner the monster's attention left the bystanders, the sooner this could be behind us and we could get back to whatever was left of the day.
"We should make a run for it," I offered, poking my head through the open book store doors and trying to ignore the rising feelings of panic in my chest.
Lupin shrugged, "If you say so."
In the distance, I could see the monster. Its body was a billowy patchwork cloak covering what seemed to be a mass of jangling chains and hooks. I couldn't read anything on the various patches, but it wasn't hard to guess they represented some kind of branding exercise gone mad.
Seeing as the monster wasn't near enough to grab us, Lupin and I joined the scattered mall-goers in a retreat. I counted the seconds in my head, waiting to hear the sound of our salvation.
"Castitas! Flare! BARRAGE!!!" Inessa shouted, launching right into her biggest attack, before following it up with her standard, "Cleansing evil with the flames of purity…" The heat behind us served as a warm confirmation that everything would be okay in the end.
I didn't hear any of the others, but I'd hardly help anyone by being useless and getting in the way. Instead, I focused on staying together with Lupin as we dashed through the mall.
Someone close to us cried out, and I thought for a moment they'd somehow been hit by a stray attack of one sort or another. That wasn't the case. The noise came from a child of perhaps seven or eight, all bundled up in heavy winter clothes. A glance around at the absence of anyone helping confirmed they'd gotten separated from their parents in the attack and finally fallen and screamed in panic.
Lupin gave me a silent nod, and we moved toward the kid.
Gently, I knelt next to them, helping them to their feet as I offered my best comforting noises and tried to pull them along with us. He—he seemed to be a he—was too panicked to cooperate, almost swiping me as I approached.
"Try to calm down and don't hurt yourself. It'll be okay," my voice cracked, "Just let us help and we'll find your parents, okay?"
For a moment we made eye contact. His cries petered out. Then Lupin's arms came from behind and lifted the boy up into a princess carry. A second later she was moving ahead, easily sprinting despite her burden resuming its attempts at flailing.
"Very sweet, C, but help now, talk later!" she called back to me.
We rounded a corner and dashed through the maze-like floor of a Nordstrom's, made all the more challenging by displays that had been shoved around in the panic. But the monster was on the other side of the mall, and neither of us could hear the battle getting any closer as we finally burst free into the February air and a milling horde of mall escapees.
That, at least, seemed to help the kid calm down.
I panted, a little annoyed at the way that Lupin hardly seemed to be breathing hard despite having run most of the way with an uncooperative pre-schooler in her arms. Well, obviously, between us, Lupin would be the one who actually managed to help instead of standing around doing nothing but talking like an idiot.
I shook my head admiringly, and helped Lupin get the child on his feet, kneeling next to him to make eye contact at his level.
"You're okay. We're all safe out here, okay? The monster can't get us."
He trembled, staring back and forth between Lupin and me.
"What's your name?" I asked as gently as I could.
Gradually he stopped crying. He wiped away his tears with one sleeve before quietly mumbling an answer.
"Okay Jim, can you be a big strong boy for me and tell me if your mommy or your daddy was here with you today?" I tried to sound calmer than I felt.
Lupin groaned audibly from behind me. I did my best to tune her out.
"Dad…" he said at length, still fighting back tears.
"Right, well you need to be a big strong boy for your dad, okay! What does he look like?" Slowly I plied the boy for answers.
"I'm going to check inside the mall," Lupin said after she'd heard enough. She was buzzing with a strange impatience. "His dad might be stuck back there looking for him. You stay here with him."
I wanted to tell her not to, that I'd go, but she'd proven the more athletic between us, platform boots and all.
"Just be careful okay? It'd suck if the day had to end in the hospital."
She grinned, "Don't worry, we both know I'll be fine! We'll finish soon and get back to having fun!"
With a meaningful wink that predictably sailed right over my head, Lupin dashed back into the mall.
I spent a little time looking outside, shouting for Jim's dad before, finally, a panicked man, tears streaming down his face, came out of Macy's. Wordlessly, he ran for Jim, pulling the relieved boy into a deep hug.
Lupin wasn't with him.
"Did a girl find you and tell you Jim was out here?" I interrupted his exhausted attempts at thanks as soon as I could. Honestly, I was almost surprised he cared given that he'd lost his son in the first place and made Lupin run back toward danger to find him.
It took him a few moments to process things, the horror of what had nearly happened, to answer, "Y-yes, she said she was going to look for anyone else who'd gotten lost or stuck inside."
A traitorous little part of me wanted to wait. No one really died in these attacks, and, while they destroyed a lot of property, most of the damage ended up coming up from the human stampedes they could cause. That was mostly over, so Lupin would be safe and I could just wait things out instead of getting pulled into another fight on my own. Besides, if I caught up with her, it felt a lot more likely than not that I'd end up captured again and wouldn't that just put her in more danger?
But, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did nothing, and Lupin—the chaotic lonely girl who insisted that being nice was the greediest thing she could be—got hurt.
So I ignored Jim and his dad and dashed back into the mall. I didn't hear any fighting, even as I crept out of the empty Nordstrom's and back into the mall concourse. Hopefully things were settled.
For want of a better option, I made my way toward where the fight had been. If Lupin wasn't there, she was probably safe, and if she was caught up in things, I needed to hurry, as useless as I'd probably be.
I let out the breath I'd been holding and slowed to a walk as I neared the place where the fight had been. Castitas was standing there, unharmed of course, along with the unconscious form of a familiar Hot Topic clerk. Lupin stood, a few doors down, silently facing Castitas. I couldn't see Lupin's face, but Inessa's brow was furrowed. I guess, even empowered magically, Inessa could hardly deal with Lupin, especially after all she'd been up to today.
Inessa's eyes widened as she saw me. In reaction, Lupin spun and waved cheerfully, "Hiya C!" She wasted no time in bouncing toward me.
And Inessa did something utterly incomprehensible. Slowly, mournfully, she lifted her bow and raised it at us.
"Get away from em!" She shouted, as angry as I'd ever seen her.
"W-what, sorry, I—" I froze. I couldn't understand. All I could feel was a terrible, sinking sensation.
Fire coalesced around the drawn bow, an arrow aimed straight for me. How had it come to this? Was Inessa mind-controlled again?
"C!" Inessa shouted urgently, "You have to run!"
Lupin bounded to me, impossibly fast, slipping behind me with preternatural grace. "Don't worry, be a good girl and get out of this without any lasting problems," she whispered kindly, even as her fingers pressed into my neck.
Then she raised her voice and shouted, her tone familiarly mocking in a way that sent shivers down my spine, "Now now, no arrows today, Inessa."
"What are you doing Lupin, Castitas?! This isn't the time for jokes," I wanted to laugh it off, to go back to the way things were this morning and pretend that Inessa had gone with Lupin and none of this was real.
"Ey's Avaritia Wolf!" Castitas denied me that.
I froze, "Just because they're both 'greedy' goths who…" I trailed off as once again the perception filter broke and I could suddenly put together how blindingly obvious that was.
"Oh," I said, without a clue how to process this.
A dark light pulsed at my— or rather Lupin's— feet before surrounding the both of us. When it cleared, I was unchanged, but the fingers around my neck had been replaced by familiar claws.
"Right! Not a step closer, or your little friend gets it."
Begrudgingly, Castitas lowered her bow, Avaritia took a moment to whisper once more in my ear, "Great, just keep playing along and you'll be fine."
I wanted to do something. I didn't know Lupin half as well as I knew Temperance or Ida, much less Inessa, but I was finally starting to like em as a person and now ey was the person who'd held me captive, who'd kidnapped me, who'd tried to turn me into a monster. Ey owed me an explanation.
"I don't want to fight, just… don't hurt C," Inessa, on the other hand, had been crushing on Lupin forever. Lupin, obviously, had no way of knowing that, but I couldn't imagine how hurt Inessa must have felt.
"For real? Rad!" Without waiting for confirmation, Avaritia shoved me to the side.
I stumbled awkwardly, failing to catch my balance and fell to my knees, clearing the stage for the people who actually mattered.
"Why are you doing this?" Castitas asked simply, still pointing her bow at the ground.
Avaritia shrugged, "I'm sure she could tell you."
I had no clue who "she" was, perhaps Michael. Castitas didn't seem surprised at the mention.
Angelic Saint Castitas shook her head, "I mean, I want to hear it from you. Why are you doing this?"
Avaritia's smile brightened, "I guess, what it comes down to, is that I'm a greedy greedy wolf and that I'd rather have a world that's okay with that, than one that'll condemn me for existing."
Castitas winced, "Look, we can help you! We know you're not bad deep down! But this isn't making things better, it just hurts people! You could have hurt so many people today. You could have hurt C, like, a dozen times over!"
"Thanks Castitas," I added sarcastically. Avaritia turned her smirk on me for a half a second, but Castitas gave no response to the undeserved snip.
"Everyone hurts people," Avaritia's answer took a while, and eir tone was surprisingly serious, "Parents hurt their children to make them act 'right'. Corporations deny people life saving medicine for no reason and that's just 'normal'. But when a person does something right in front of you and you can't avert your eyes fast enough, suddenly that makes them the devil, even if it helps in the end and no one really gets that hurt!"
"That's ridiculous! You can't really think that!" Inessa cut Lupin off, looking more broken than when Lupin had blown her off this morning.
Avaritia shrugged, "I don't hate you. You're a good person, sure, but, like, actually a good person." The word was an insult in eir mouth. "But, most of that's because you've had every opportunity to be good. It's easy to avoid gluttony when you have food, to stay hard working when you always get rewarded for working hard, to be purehearted when your family loves you and you're pretty and well-liked."
"That doesn't justify doing evil!" Inessa shouted, "Look, I know what it's like to get pushed around, but that doesn't make it okay to just throw away your morals and do whatever!"
Avaritia glared, flexing eir claws as ey strafed away from me slowly, "I'm not throwing away my morals! I'm saying that shaming someone who's lost everything else for being greedy doesn't help if that's the only thing keeping them going! When you can't be the perfect little angel everyone just loves, you need wrath to stand up for yourself, envy to let you see how much you need the things you don't get."
Castitas put her hands on her hips and shook her head, "But think about how much you're taking from others! If you're in trouble, we can help! You can lean on us! You don't need to be greedy to be happy."
Avaritia snorted, angrier than I'd seen em since ey thought I was a pervert that one time ey kidnapped me.
"Look at C!" ey gestured dramatically, "How long have they been trying to be good, and are they any happier? C's nice, kind, humble and full of patience, and that makes them miserable. They can't figure out what they want even when all of it is so obvious because the world won't let them want in the first place!"
"Thanks, I love being used as a rhetorical point." I shouted back as I struggled to my feet. I should have been terrified, but it was oddly hard to be scared of Lupin, even if ey was Avaritia.
"Shut up C, you know I'm right!" Lupin stuck eir tongue out, but eir eyes didn't leave Castitas.
"Sure, but we're helping them! We're working through it together and we're making it better!" Inessa offered, proving that my efforts to seem like nothing at all was going on and I was doing great were maybe less successful than I had thought.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Castitas…" I sighed
"Shut up C!" they both yelled; neither facing me.
"You're helping them, what, always get attacked? Stay too nice to actually admit they don't need to earn happiness to want it?"
"Can we please use someone else?" I begged. Neither dignified me with a response.
"I'm protecting him! And we're working on his family situation!" Inessa's words sounded defensive, even to me. And throwing my dad out there like he was a problem to be solved and not… whatever he was to me at this point hurt. I didn't want to be treated like a problem to be solved. Even Avaritia had made a pretense of talking to me about helping instead of just doing things, for all eir understanding of agreement might have been a bit lacking and ey weren't exactly comprehensible about it.
Lupin shrugged, "And have you ever thought that maybe C doesn't want to be protected? That they only go along with everything because they're too afraid to want something and be a 'bad' person? What if they don't want to be a bystander? What if C wants to shine instead of waiting like a good little princess for you to ride to the rescue? That's what virtue does! It tells the people what they're allowed to want! The people who are the good ones, the lucky ones, the ones who want to help everyone be as good as they are, they're only forcing themselves on everyone else!"
Inessa frowned, "That's ridiculous! And C's been my friend for a lot longer than you've known him! He's basically my brother! And everyone needs to be protected sometimes." Inessa paused and took a deep breath, and tried to look at Avaritia without malice in her eyes. "I've needed it."
Lupin shook eir head, and really looked at me, for the first time since ey'd started talking with Inessa.
"Is that right C? Are you fine just hiding behind Inessa? Do you think you'll bloom into something beautiful if you just stand in the background of someone else's story like a good little virtuous friend spouting advice whenever she needs it and waiting for someone else to tell you how to want without sin?"
Inessa's gaze followed Lupin's and her eyes met mine. She'd known me longer; we could share almost anything with each other. And yet, she seemed uncertain, as if she was begging me to reassure her.
"Inessa's right," I said, wondering why it was that Avaritia seemed to be able to give voice to half the words in my heart.
"Hmph!" Avaritia's tone was cold, for all they shot me a knowing wink, as soon as Castitas wasn't looking. "Anyway, I think that's enough answers for one day! Like I said, I don't hate people who can be happy and virtuous. But some people need something else! And someone needs to stand up for them!"
Ey posed dramatically, eir ears standing straight up, one claw raised toward the sky.
Then, without waiting for Inessa to reply, ey gave a bow and brought eir claw down, tearing through the world. With a single purposeful step, Avaritia Wolf was gone.
A few seconds later, the portal sealed itself up naturally, leaving no sign of Lupin's presence.
Both Castitas and I lingered for far longer. She dwelled on the fight before her and the death of her crush. I was consumed with the feeling of the earrings in my pocket poking into my thigh and the strange realization that I'd already decided I would be keeping them. Even though we were together, and thinking about the same things, the space between us somehow felt like an insurmountable gap.
NEXT WEEK ON SHINING VIRTUE ANGELIC HEART!!!
With Avaritia's identity revealed, Lupin has no more reason to hold back. Between Avaritia's schemes during the day, the nameless nocturnal beast and a friend's crisis, the Saints struggle to keep up with their foes' machinations. How will the Saints pull through when attacks come without a pause?!
Tune in for Episode 21: Curtains for Charlie!? The Beast's Name is...
We'd also agreed that it would be better if I was there for emotional support and Lupin bait, but far enough away that they could talk by themselves. So, I found myself waiting a few dozen feet from Inessa for a solid half hour in the cold and unpleasantly damp morning air. At least, Inessa's frenetic pacing was probably keeping her warm enough.
Finally, as the trickle of other students passing us turned into a stream, Lupin appeared. As was becoming the norm, she looked around before waving to me and heading directly in my direction. This was supposed to be Inessa's cue, and yet, the heroine of justice opted to freeze in place instead. She had seen Lupin, there was no question of that. I watched Lupin approach with a silent wince.
"Come on Inessa," I whispered under my breath. "You've got this!"
Finally, Inessa stepped forward in front of the goth, late enough that she might have bowled the other girl over if Lupin hadn't hopped backwards out of Inessa's path at the last moment. Despite the distance, I could still see that Lupin was distinctly amused at the exchange.
I could also see Inessa fumbling, turning the words we'd practiced yesterday evening into a series of incoherent noises going by her increasingly panicked gesticulations. Lupin nodded along, content to watch the morning's entertainment for however long Inessa's one woman show lasted.
"HERE!" Inessa shouted at last, startling a few other students as she shoved the box at Lupin. Finally, it was Lupin's turn to freeze. She surveyed the gift-wrapped package in what had to be mute confusion. .
"H-happy, umm, V-valentines…" I, and every student outside the school could clearly hear Inessa's voice as it gradually fizzled into awkward silence.
Lupin looked at the gift, then at Inessa, as if she wasn't quite sure what to make of the exchange. Then something clicked and she smiled brightly and took the box. I couldn't hear what she said to Inessa, as Lupin had not forgotten how to control the volume of her voice in a gay panic, but I could see Inessa all but melt in response.
Lupin took the box of chocolates and placed it firmly in her bag and then, a little awkwardly, ruffled Inessa's hair. I let out the breath I'd been holding. Inessa had done it. Now she and Lupin could start to get closer.
Then, as Inessa predictably froze, Lupin turned and bounced toward me heedless of Inessa's hurt look.
"That was neat! Anyway, how are you doing this morning C!" She looked me over appraisingly as if Inessa hadn't all but confessed to her. "I see, I see. You're coming along really nicely you know!"
"I, what?" I wanted to be irritated that Lupin had blown past Inessa's feelings so rapidly, but as usual, the goth girl mostly just left me befuddled.
Lupin demonstratively jabbed me in the chest.
"Oww!" I offered, rubbing the affected area. For some reason, it hurt far more than I would have anticipated.
"Yep, yep! Just as I thought. Coming along pretty nice indeed!" she said knowingly.
"What."
"Anyway, you know what this means?" Lupin said, running directly past the fact that I very clearly had no clue what any of this meant.
Mutely, I shook my head, as much at our meticulously planned morning going off the rails as at Lupin's question. This was not how this was supposed to go. Inessa and Lupin were supposed to talk, and I was supposed to be here offering silent emotional support to Inessa. Instead, incomprehensibly, Lupin had ignored Inessa after all her work and turned her attention to me.
"It means we need to go on a shopping trip! A regular girls' day out and all of that!" Lupin said this triumphantly, as if any of this sequence of events made sense.
"Well… have fun I guess?" I tried not to let any bitterness creep into my voice. Lupin couldn't have known how much effort Inessa had invested into this little exchange.
"Aww, you joker! Nope, it means you need to skip school and come with me!" Lupin said, profoundly missing the hint.
Pitch black nails wrapped around my wrist with vice-like strength and Lupin started dragging me away.
"W-wait!" I planted my feet to try and resist the inexorable goth. "Y-you should try going with Inessa instead! I'm sure I'd be useless shopping and if you want a girls' day out, Inessa would be much better company."
Lupin had already hurt things with Inessa, I was sure of that. But if I could just reorient her, maybe the day would still turn out okay?
Lupin stopped, then turned to face me with a pout. "Oh come on!" she said. "I'm your friend, Inessa's nice and all, but, like, I want to spend time with you."
Behind Lupin, I could see Inessa's face distorting into a variety of increasingly tragic expressions as she stumbled toward us.
"I really can't afford to miss school," I parried, trying and failing to pull my hand from Lupin's grip. This was supposed to be Inessa's role. Inessa was the one people liked, the one who'd been working up her courage for days to take that little step and talk to Lupin. Her efforts were supposed to be rewarded. That's what everyone wanted to see.
Lupin flashed me a smile, pearly white canines peeking out from beneath her purple lipstick, "Now now, your grades are fine! You haven't gotten attacked by monsters in weeks, so really you've gotta be way ahead as hard as you work."
She was right, though I'd had no clue she'd been paying attention enough to know that. At the same time, I liked being able to actually attend class and not have to do makeup studying while also nursing a sprained ankle or arm or a minor head injury.
"I can't." I said stubbornly, silently apologizing to Inessa.
The smile fell from Lupin's face, and she let me go, looking a bit like she was the one being dragged somewhere against her will.
"Please?" she asked, the barest hint of a tremor in her voice. "I, uh, don't really have anyone to do this kind of thing with these days and my uncle's been in a mood lately and, of course we hang out, but it feels like it's always just a casual meeting at school and…. I was kind of hoping we could, umm…"
That simply wasn't fair. I wondered how long Lupin had been working up the courage to ask this. It was hard to see beneath her veneer of confidence, but the way she said 'please' left me starting to suspect that her carefree attitude might mask as much trouble expressing herself as Inessa's ineloquent stammers.
"Y-you should go," Inessa said weakly. "Go and, umm, have fun!" her voice cracked; she was smiling, but I could see a tear dripping down the side of her face.
"I-is it really okay?" I asked her.
"Just go!" Inessa stomped her foot. "Don't worry about me!"
Lupin glanced between us, finally realizing just how much tension filled the air. "So…." her voice trailed off awkwardly.
I didn't know what to do. Today was supposed to be a bridge between Inessa and Lupin, a way for them to get closer, and sure, I'd have been pushed to the side a little, but I belonged in the background anyway. And yet, some tiny little bitter part of me was happy that Lupin had looked at Inessa and—for inscrutable reasons—opted for my company instead, that Lupin wanting to ask me to hang out somehow provoked a fraction of the anxiety Inessa felt approaching Lupin.
Inessa's day was already ruined. Would it actually help anything if I crushed Lupin's hopes as well? And Inessa had already given her permission. She didn't want me to blow Lupin off. I wanted to run away, but if that just ended up upsetting both Inessa and Lupin, it would be the worst outcome of all.
"Okay," I sighed. What was the worst that could happen?
---
"No, anything but this," I edged away in horror from the creature advancing on me: a pair of twisted hooks in its hands, an even more twisted grin upon its lips. How had it gone so wrong, so fast?!
At Lupin's insistence, I'd once again found myself in the mall alongside a Lupin who clearly knew her way around this crumbling piece of Americana.
As it was, the mall was mostly deserted at this time on a Wednesday morning (or, I snidely thought, basically at any time on any day). Lupin had dragged me down the largely empty concourse with a clear sense of purpose, marching us into a boutique. The words "Hot Topic" were emblazoned in black block letters against the white mall wall above the store's entrance.
I'd anticipated boredom—and a chance to think over my lingering guilt about Inessa's situation—while Lupin picked out some stuff for herself and pretended that my input would have mattered. It had definitely seemed like the kind of place she would shop, going by the amount of elaborate all black-clothing clothing and the frankly excessive amount of chains.
And that seemed to be exactly what she was doing when she'd marched to the jewelry and began foraging through bits and bobs. Occasionally, she'd held something up to me, an earring or a necklace, before returning it to the tray with a shake of her head. I hadn't thought to wonder why she was doing that until it was too late.
Finally she'd grabbed a purple apple necklace that promptly went in a pocket and a somewhat similar looking pair of green apple earrings.
I'd breathed a sigh of relief. Watching Lupin shop hadn't been boring per-say. The way she'd surveyed all these little cheap accessories with an expert's eye and then asked my input now and then like I was somehow involved in this whole process had felt oddly nice.
But, then she'd turned to me with that smile and said those horrid words. "I think these will suit you perfectly C!"
I'd shaken my head. I'd told her that, as a guy, obviously I had no use for them. She'd insisted that plenty of guys wore earrings and pointed to the cashier who, indeed, seemed to be a guy with enough metal in his ears to drastically elevate the local average.
I told her that my ears weren't pierced, she told me that that was an easily solved problem..
And, deprived of excuses, I'd resorted to denial and retreat. That had only served to stimulate some predatory instinct lurking in the dark corners of Lupin's brain. And that brought us to the present situation, with a monster advancing on me, her face carved into a sadistic grin.
I backed away, shaking my head, "No, anything but this!"
Lupin advanced, offering the earrings to me. "Come on, you know they'd look cute on you, a great match for your eyes!"
"My eyes are brown!" That at least gave me room for a logical rebuttal. Besides, nothing really looked cute on me.
"With cute little green flecks in them when the light hits right. It'll look great!" Wait, what? I had never noticed that.
"Look, you're saying everything," she grinned triumphantly, "Except that you don't want them. "Now, it'd break my poor little heart if you don't have something to match my new necklace; but, if it's not your thing, just say so."
I scanned the store for any escape. I thought I saw a flash of red out of the corner of my eye, but, upon glancing that way, the store was as empty as it had been the entire time.
"I don't wa…." I gazed into Lupin's pleading eyes and the protest died on my lips. "My dad would kill me," I said instead. That wasn't quite true, it wasn't like he'd ever actually hit me or anything.
"Oh," her eyes shifted toward the floor and her smile flickered. "Yeah, parents are like that, huh. Anyway!" She turned back to me. "You can hold on to them for now, and, eventually, you'll be able to wear them. You'll find a place where you can be you."
I thought of Lupin's uncle and how Avaritia, of all people, had seemed terrified of what he might do to em for my failure to become a monster. I really had no reason to complain when that's what Lupin was probably dealing with.
"Sure," I managed, wondering at the strange idea of me owning earrings. It wasn't that wild. I realized that the years when a boy with pierced ears was shocking and controversial had long passed. Even so, it felt illicit.
Immediately Lupin brightened and wrapped me in a hug, "Now that's the reaction I was hoping for bestie!"
She pocketed the earrings with the necklace and hopped over toward a display of belts.
"See any you like?" she asked as if anything in this store was something someone like me could pull off.
"They're kinda… a lot," I said, staring at a belt covered with studs and skulls and dangling chains.
"Well, obviously!" Lupin picked up one with a wolf's head buckle, examining it critically, "that's the whole point! It's armor, a way of showing the world that no one gets to stop you from going over the top or being too much, that you're not afraid of what they'll do to you anymore and that you can build an identity for yourself no matter how corny or cheap or commercial and they can't do anything to bring you down."
Lupin picked up a long belt covered with spikes, "This is not a $19.95 faux leather belt! No, it is a declaration of freedom, even if being free means indulging in terrible taste and bad cliches and spending money you shouldn't on all sorts of silly things!"
I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. Lupin was fascinating in the way she managed to go from bubbly goth to demagogue from one moment to the next. On some level this was ridiculous. On another, there was a desperate passion driving her every word, as if she needed to be heard and understood.
"That sounds pretty impressive when you put it like that." I had to give her that, however absurd the contents of her speech.
She nodded, "You should try finding your own armor." She stopped, "Umm, unless your dad would be a problem there."
"He is," I said, bitterly.
"Ah, then I'll store the dress for you."
That would probably have induced some kind of panic, had not Temperance been going out of her way to desensitize me to the fact that sometimes people in real life just wanted to force-femme you for incomprehensible reasons.
"Is that what's going on? This is some new ploy from Temperance?" I might have been a little bitter at the thought that Lupin would brush Inessa's feelings aside just because she'd had a plan to jump in on the 'Make Fun of Charlie Brigade'.
"No," Lupin blushed, as the word came out a bit sharper than she seemed to have intended. "She's not really on speaking terms with me these days."
"Oh, umm, sorry…" And, great, obviously they weren't conspiring, I'd never even seen them together in the first place.
Lupin returned to the belts, "I'm too greedy to stop her if taking the wrong path helps her work through some things. And she looks a lot happier now, so it's probably working out for her." Lupin's voice was too carefully magnanimous to be as okay as she claimed to be. There was something there that had yet to scab over and I wondered what the story was. No matter what, finding out that someone you were close to—Mom's face flashed through my mind—felt better off without you specifically in their lives… That had to hurt.
"But," Lupin sneered, "They should know that I'm greedy enough to take her back the moment that she finds out exactly where that road leads. Besides, I've got the most adorable new partner now, so there's no need to mope!" she winked at me meaningfully then dropped the belt back into the display and moved to examine a shelf full of skirts.
I found myself picturing Lupin and Temperance together. Something about that felt familiar and I couldn't help but wonder if Lupin and Temperance had been an item. As far as I knew, Lupin had only started school this year, so it wasn't impossible she'd known Temperance before the latter transferred in. I had no clue what mistaken path Lupin would think the Saint of Temperance was taking, but I had no business asking really.
"That doesn't seem very greedy," I fired back instead.
"Of course it is! It's the greediest thing of all!" There was an undercurrent of zeal in her voice, "To steal a little happiness for yours, even if it means they get to make mistakes and do the wrong thing, that's greedy. Otherwise, why'd everyone care so much about making sure you only get to be happy if you can do it while you look and act 'right.'"
"That," I shrugged, "still sounds more like being nice?"
"I contain multitudes; I am both nice and greedy! It's the best combination you know! I get to be nice to those I like and I don't have to put up with anyone else."
"And yet," I sighed dramatically, "you're joining Temperance in trying to force me into a skirt club."
"Mmmh hmm, because I want you happy," she ran her hand through the fabric of a skirt before frowning and shaking her head. "And some people are only happy when they get a little push."
She abandoned the skirts in favor of advancing on me, carelessly intruding into my personal space until she was only inches from me. One hand traced its way across my jaw.
"That's you isn't it? You complain and you snark and apologize and deep down you like it when you get pushed like this. You need to be forced to be the center of attention, to get fussed over, at least, fussed over the right way. And you're so close to letting yourself realize everything you're missing. Obviously a greedy greedy girl would want to give you a little shove to get you to the finish line."
"I, umm, that's.." I failed to find a word. Was she flirting with me? That would make no sense, why would someone as beautiful and cool as Lupin flirt with someone like me? Besides, she had just suggested she was gay. Of course she could be into both guys and girls. But if she was, Inessa had made her feelings perfectly clear and I obviously couldn't compete with Inessa.
I gulped, and Lupin slid closer still, till we were practically nose to nose. Her eyes looked up to mine, and yet, somehow it felt like she was looking down at me instead. Literal resinners had left me feeling less like prey than Lupin in that moment.
I broke eye-contact first, searching for something, anything, to break the strange stalemate I found myself in. I found it in Inessa's surprised face, staring at me in horror from behind a comically large pair of sunglasses and a fedora she'd clearly pulled from a nearby rack.
"I should wait outside," I stepped away from Lupin and dashed toward the door, trying not to be sick.
Obviously I was being an idiot. There was no way Lupin, or anyone, would be interested in me. Besides, she was almost certainly gay or bi, and if she was, Inessa was, quite literally it seemed, right there.
The stale air of the mall, and the vista of abandoned storefronts proved just the thing to calm me down. I was being ridiculous, Lupin was just touchy-feely. She almost certainly didn't even see me as a boy versus just another friend. And like, would I really want her to? Inessa had been crushing on her forever. I couldn't betray her like that, even if there was nothing there after months of quiet sighs and…
"Here," Lupin's voice was more embarrassed than anything else as she handed me the earrings and a strip of dark green ribbon, "An apology gift for before, no refusals."
"You don't have to apologize, and what even is this anyway?"
"A choker! I believe you're legally required to have at least one." I had no clue what Lupin meant, but she shoved it into my hands and stepped past me before I could object.
"Anyway, beyond finally getting to come here with a friend I don't really have much of an agenda today. Should we check out another store? Hit up the food court?" Her voice was hurried, with an awkward pitch to it.
"Food court sounds fine," I offered just as unnaturally, wrapping the earrings in the ribbon and placing both in my pocket.
So we made our way to the food court and acquired horrific imitation Chinese food. Sadly, the awkward atmosphere prevented us from commiserating over the cultural crimes pretending to be lo mein.
"See!" Lupin said eventually, unable to endure the silence. "This is what I mean when I say I'm greedy! I don't go slow when I should. Anyway, let's just forget that happened."
"I—" what did she think had happened? Lupin had been friendly and I'd run away in a panic, "Look, you were fine, I just," misread things and had seen Inessa and been terrified that things would compound and the person I loved most in the world would think I'd betrayed her. None of that had been Lupin's fault, not really. "It was getting a little stuffy in there and I, umm, sorry."
She shook her head, "You did nothing wrong! I was being pushy; you're allowed to get overstimulated or want some air or some space to sort yourself out. It's important to remember not to let anyone, even me, push you too much and…" she trailed off again. "Let's just forget it and pretend it never happened?"
"What never happened?" I asked uncertainly.
"Exactly!" Lupin reiterated.
"Okay…."
She beamed at me. "I really like it here, you know," she said, grabbing the topic by the horns and forcing it to change.
I made an appropriately curious noise to indicate my acceptance of the escape from mutual awkwardness. I needn't have bothered; Lupin needed no assistance to build momentum.
"It's, like, this is where teenagers go to spend money they shouldn't on junk we don't need. It's frivolous! It's fun! It's hip! And, like," she hesitated, "For the longest time, even after we'd decided to come here, my uncle didn't really want us going out. But, we got to watch your TV and see everything through that little box and wonder what it was like."
She took a bite of noodles, seeming to savor the thoroughly unappetizing pseudo-meat. "And now I get to actually come to one of these and it's better than I imagined. Okay it's dying, I get that, but it's still here and it still means something and if anything being halfway dead just makes it shine even more and getting to be here with a friend…" She blushed. Lupin, who I was fairly certain didn't understand the concept of embarrassment, blushed. "I've never really gotten to do anything like this."
A part of me ached to tell Lupin that it hadn't been hip to hang out in the mall for at least a decade. But I could hardly do it after that speech.
"What was your childhood like?" I asked instead. I couldn't place a lot of what she said into any semblance of a normal life, but enough sounded alarming, even beyond the fact that her uncle was evil, that I found myself worrying for Lupin.
"It sucked and I hated it." Lupin responded cheerfully. "They did everything they could to try and make us into 'virtuous children', no matter what would have broken along the way."
I winced at that. "I'd say 'I'm sorry,' but that wouldn't cover it, would it?"
She shook her head. "No, but we got away, in the end. I mean," she laughed, "I'm pretty flexible, you know. I could have bent myself up enough to fit in without breaking. But we didn't and now things are better and someday we'll get to go back and force them to see that they're wrong and then there won't be any more kids like us!"
A noise I couldn't quite identify made its way out of my lips. Lupin's childhood was unimaginable to me, and I had no idea who she meant by 'us'. But I knew what it was like to be pushed to become an ideal you're entirely unqualified to match.
And yet, I couldn't imagine having the feeling of purpose that came through in Lupin's words, the weight she placed on her values and the way she could dedicate herself to a cause. I wondered what it would feel like to believe so much in something.
"Anyway," Lupin swerved the conversation back to the trivial as easily as she breathed. "Anything else you want to do today while we're here?"
"Do they have a bookshop?" I asked, glad for an escape from the weight of Lupin's ideals.
"A tiny one, but they do have some things if you want to head that way," So spake Lupin: Mall Expert.
So we dumped our trays at the nearest garbage can and made our way down the mall concourse until we reached a small nook full of shelves that were stretched higher than I could reach. I studiously pretended not to notice the redhead shadowing our steps. I had no idea what to say to her or how she was doing, but pointing out that I knew she was there could only hurt and there'd be time to check in with Inessa later.
And, to be honest, it was hard to remember to worry about that sitting on the carpet of the romance section, surrounded by the scent of paperbacks, pretending the bookstore was a library as I alternated reading and failing to explain the appeal of the genre to a curious Lupin.
It was a good day. Well, until the Resinner attacked.
We didn't see it at first. But, after the third time, you don't really need to see it to recognize the signs. Someone screamed in the distance, soon joined by others with a bestial voice calling out louder than any of them. Footsteps added a frantic percussion to things as panic sent the mall's denizens scurrying for safety and showed just how many people could manage to be in a nearly empty mall. More than any of that, the air carried a charge. It was hard to describe, but there was a static charge in the air whenever a monster was near, like the world itself was reacting to their presence.
Besides, we were out in public and Inessa was nearby. It had been inevitable. So few days had ended as nicely as they'd begun since Inessa became Castitas.
I saw Inessa poke her head out from behind a shelf and look around nervously, no doubt worrying that Lupin might see her transform. At least, no one else had stuck around the bookshop but the three of us. That meant the problem was easily fixed. I rose to my feet and began dragging Lupin toward the only exit via a path about as directly away from Inessa as I could manage. The sooner she transformed, the sooner the monster's attention left the bystanders, the sooner this could be behind us and we could get back to whatever was left of the day.
"We should make a run for it," I offered, poking my head through the open book store doors and trying to ignore the rising feelings of panic in my chest.
Lupin shrugged, "If you say so."
In the distance, I could see the monster. Its body was a billowy patchwork cloak covering what seemed to be a mass of jangling chains and hooks. I couldn't read anything on the various patches, but it wasn't hard to guess they represented some kind of branding exercise gone mad.
Seeing as the monster wasn't near enough to grab us, Lupin and I joined the scattered mall-goers in a retreat. I counted the seconds in my head, waiting to hear the sound of our salvation.
"Castitas! Flare! BARRAGE!!!" Inessa shouted, launching right into her biggest attack, before following it up with her standard, "Cleansing evil with the flames of purity…" The heat behind us served as a warm confirmation that everything would be okay in the end.
I didn't hear any of the others, but I'd hardly help anyone by being useless and getting in the way. Instead, I focused on staying together with Lupin as we dashed through the mall.
Someone close to us cried out, and I thought for a moment they'd somehow been hit by a stray attack of one sort or another. That wasn't the case. The noise came from a child of perhaps seven or eight, all bundled up in heavy winter clothes. A glance around at the absence of anyone helping confirmed they'd gotten separated from their parents in the attack and finally fallen and screamed in panic.
Lupin gave me a silent nod, and we moved toward the kid.
Gently, I knelt next to them, helping them to their feet as I offered my best comforting noises and tried to pull them along with us. He—he seemed to be a he—was too panicked to cooperate, almost swiping me as I approached.
"Try to calm down and don't hurt yourself. It'll be okay," my voice cracked, "Just let us help and we'll find your parents, okay?"
For a moment we made eye contact. His cries petered out. Then Lupin's arms came from behind and lifted the boy up into a princess carry. A second later she was moving ahead, easily sprinting despite her burden resuming its attempts at flailing.
"Very sweet, C, but help now, talk later!" she called back to me.
We rounded a corner and dashed through the maze-like floor of a Nordstrom's, made all the more challenging by displays that had been shoved around in the panic. But the monster was on the other side of the mall, and neither of us could hear the battle getting any closer as we finally burst free into the February air and a milling horde of mall escapees.
That, at least, seemed to help the kid calm down.
I panted, a little annoyed at the way that Lupin hardly seemed to be breathing hard despite having run most of the way with an uncooperative pre-schooler in her arms. Well, obviously, between us, Lupin would be the one who actually managed to help instead of standing around doing nothing but talking like an idiot.
I shook my head admiringly, and helped Lupin get the child on his feet, kneeling next to him to make eye contact at his level.
"You're okay. We're all safe out here, okay? The monster can't get us."
He trembled, staring back and forth between Lupin and me.
"What's your name?" I asked as gently as I could.
Gradually he stopped crying. He wiped away his tears with one sleeve before quietly mumbling an answer.
"Okay Jim, can you be a big strong boy for me and tell me if your mommy or your daddy was here with you today?" I tried to sound calmer than I felt.
Lupin groaned audibly from behind me. I did my best to tune her out.
"Dad…" he said at length, still fighting back tears.
"Right, well you need to be a big strong boy for your dad, okay! What does he look like?" Slowly I plied the boy for answers.
"I'm going to check inside the mall," Lupin said after she'd heard enough. She was buzzing with a strange impatience. "His dad might be stuck back there looking for him. You stay here with him."
I wanted to tell her not to, that I'd go, but she'd proven the more athletic between us, platform boots and all.
"Just be careful okay? It'd suck if the day had to end in the hospital."
She grinned, "Don't worry, we both know I'll be fine! We'll finish soon and get back to having fun!"
With a meaningful wink that predictably sailed right over my head, Lupin dashed back into the mall.
I spent a little time looking outside, shouting for Jim's dad before, finally, a panicked man, tears streaming down his face, came out of Macy's. Wordlessly, he ran for Jim, pulling the relieved boy into a deep hug.
Lupin wasn't with him.
"Did a girl find you and tell you Jim was out here?" I interrupted his exhausted attempts at thanks as soon as I could. Honestly, I was almost surprised he cared given that he'd lost his son in the first place and made Lupin run back toward danger to find him.
It took him a few moments to process things, the horror of what had nearly happened, to answer, "Y-yes, she said she was going to look for anyone else who'd gotten lost or stuck inside."
A traitorous little part of me wanted to wait. No one really died in these attacks, and, while they destroyed a lot of property, most of the damage ended up coming up from the human stampedes they could cause. That was mostly over, so Lupin would be safe and I could just wait things out instead of getting pulled into another fight on my own. Besides, if I caught up with her, it felt a lot more likely than not that I'd end up captured again and wouldn't that just put her in more danger?
But, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did nothing, and Lupin—the chaotic lonely girl who insisted that being nice was the greediest thing she could be—got hurt.
So I ignored Jim and his dad and dashed back into the mall. I didn't hear any fighting, even as I crept out of the empty Nordstrom's and back into the mall concourse. Hopefully things were settled.
For want of a better option, I made my way toward where the fight had been. If Lupin wasn't there, she was probably safe, and if she was caught up in things, I needed to hurry, as useless as I'd probably be.
I let out the breath I'd been holding and slowed to a walk as I neared the place where the fight had been. Castitas was standing there, unharmed of course, along with the unconscious form of a familiar Hot Topic clerk. Lupin stood, a few doors down, silently facing Castitas. I couldn't see Lupin's face, but Inessa's brow was furrowed. I guess, even empowered magically, Inessa could hardly deal with Lupin, especially after all she'd been up to today.
Inessa's eyes widened as she saw me. In reaction, Lupin spun and waved cheerfully, "Hiya C!" She wasted no time in bouncing toward me.
And Inessa did something utterly incomprehensible. Slowly, mournfully, she lifted her bow and raised it at us.
"Get away from em!" She shouted, as angry as I'd ever seen her.
"W-what, sorry, I—" I froze. I couldn't understand. All I could feel was a terrible, sinking sensation.
Fire coalesced around the drawn bow, an arrow aimed straight for me. How had it come to this? Was Inessa mind-controlled again?
"C!" Inessa shouted urgently, "You have to run!"
Lupin bounded to me, impossibly fast, slipping behind me with preternatural grace. "Don't worry, be a good girl and get out of this without any lasting problems," she whispered kindly, even as her fingers pressed into my neck.
Then she raised her voice and shouted, her tone familiarly mocking in a way that sent shivers down my spine, "Now now, no arrows today, Inessa."
"What are you doing Lupin, Castitas?! This isn't the time for jokes," I wanted to laugh it off, to go back to the way things were this morning and pretend that Inessa had gone with Lupin and none of this was real.
"Ey's Avaritia Wolf!" Castitas denied me that.
I froze, "Just because they're both 'greedy' goths who…" I trailed off as once again the perception filter broke and I could suddenly put together how blindingly obvious that was.
"Oh," I said, without a clue how to process this.
A dark light pulsed at my— or rather Lupin's— feet before surrounding the both of us. When it cleared, I was unchanged, but the fingers around my neck had been replaced by familiar claws.
"Right! Not a step closer, or your little friend gets it."
Begrudgingly, Castitas lowered her bow, Avaritia took a moment to whisper once more in my ear, "Great, just keep playing along and you'll be fine."
I wanted to do something. I didn't know Lupin half as well as I knew Temperance or Ida, much less Inessa, but I was finally starting to like em as a person and now ey was the person who'd held me captive, who'd kidnapped me, who'd tried to turn me into a monster. Ey owed me an explanation.
"I don't want to fight, just… don't hurt C," Inessa, on the other hand, had been crushing on Lupin forever. Lupin, obviously, had no way of knowing that, but I couldn't imagine how hurt Inessa must have felt.
"For real? Rad!" Without waiting for confirmation, Avaritia shoved me to the side.
I stumbled awkwardly, failing to catch my balance and fell to my knees, clearing the stage for the people who actually mattered.
"Why are you doing this?" Castitas asked simply, still pointing her bow at the ground.
Avaritia shrugged, "I'm sure she could tell you."
I had no clue who "she" was, perhaps Michael. Castitas didn't seem surprised at the mention.
Angelic Saint Castitas shook her head, "I mean, I want to hear it from you. Why are you doing this?"
Avaritia's smile brightened, "I guess, what it comes down to, is that I'm a greedy greedy wolf and that I'd rather have a world that's okay with that, than one that'll condemn me for existing."
Castitas winced, "Look, we can help you! We know you're not bad deep down! But this isn't making things better, it just hurts people! You could have hurt so many people today. You could have hurt C, like, a dozen times over!"
"Thanks Castitas," I added sarcastically. Avaritia turned her smirk on me for a half a second, but Castitas gave no response to the undeserved snip.
"Everyone hurts people," Avaritia's answer took a while, and eir tone was surprisingly serious, "Parents hurt their children to make them act 'right'. Corporations deny people life saving medicine for no reason and that's just 'normal'. But when a person does something right in front of you and you can't avert your eyes fast enough, suddenly that makes them the devil, even if it helps in the end and no one really gets that hurt!"
"That's ridiculous! You can't really think that!" Inessa cut Lupin off, looking more broken than when Lupin had blown her off this morning.
Avaritia shrugged, "I don't hate you. You're a good person, sure, but, like, actually a good person." The word was an insult in eir mouth. "But, most of that's because you've had every opportunity to be good. It's easy to avoid gluttony when you have food, to stay hard working when you always get rewarded for working hard, to be purehearted when your family loves you and you're pretty and well-liked."
"That doesn't justify doing evil!" Inessa shouted, "Look, I know what it's like to get pushed around, but that doesn't make it okay to just throw away your morals and do whatever!"
Avaritia glared, flexing eir claws as ey strafed away from me slowly, "I'm not throwing away my morals! I'm saying that shaming someone who's lost everything else for being greedy doesn't help if that's the only thing keeping them going! When you can't be the perfect little angel everyone just loves, you need wrath to stand up for yourself, envy to let you see how much you need the things you don't get."
Castitas put her hands on her hips and shook her head, "But think about how much you're taking from others! If you're in trouble, we can help! You can lean on us! You don't need to be greedy to be happy."
Avaritia snorted, angrier than I'd seen em since ey thought I was a pervert that one time ey kidnapped me.
"Look at C!" ey gestured dramatically, "How long have they been trying to be good, and are they any happier? C's nice, kind, humble and full of patience, and that makes them miserable. They can't figure out what they want even when all of it is so obvious because the world won't let them want in the first place!"
"Thanks, I love being used as a rhetorical point." I shouted back as I struggled to my feet. I should have been terrified, but it was oddly hard to be scared of Lupin, even if ey was Avaritia.
"Shut up C, you know I'm right!" Lupin stuck eir tongue out, but eir eyes didn't leave Castitas.
"Sure, but we're helping them! We're working through it together and we're making it better!" Inessa offered, proving that my efforts to seem like nothing at all was going on and I was doing great were maybe less successful than I had thought.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Castitas…" I sighed
"Shut up C!" they both yelled; neither facing me.
"You're helping them, what, always get attacked? Stay too nice to actually admit they don't need to earn happiness to want it?"
"Can we please use someone else?" I begged. Neither dignified me with a response.
"I'm protecting him! And we're working on his family situation!" Inessa's words sounded defensive, even to me. And throwing my dad out there like he was a problem to be solved and not… whatever he was to me at this point hurt. I didn't want to be treated like a problem to be solved. Even Avaritia had made a pretense of talking to me about helping instead of just doing things, for all eir understanding of agreement might have been a bit lacking and ey weren't exactly comprehensible about it.
Lupin shrugged, "And have you ever thought that maybe C doesn't want to be protected? That they only go along with everything because they're too afraid to want something and be a 'bad' person? What if they don't want to be a bystander? What if C wants to shine instead of waiting like a good little princess for you to ride to the rescue? That's what virtue does! It tells the people what they're allowed to want! The people who are the good ones, the lucky ones, the ones who want to help everyone be as good as they are, they're only forcing themselves on everyone else!"
Inessa frowned, "That's ridiculous! And C's been my friend for a lot longer than you've known him! He's basically my brother! And everyone needs to be protected sometimes." Inessa paused and took a deep breath, and tried to look at Avaritia without malice in her eyes. "I've needed it."
Lupin shook eir head, and really looked at me, for the first time since ey'd started talking with Inessa.
"Is that right C? Are you fine just hiding behind Inessa? Do you think you'll bloom into something beautiful if you just stand in the background of someone else's story like a good little virtuous friend spouting advice whenever she needs it and waiting for someone else to tell you how to want without sin?"
Inessa's gaze followed Lupin's and her eyes met mine. She'd known me longer; we could share almost anything with each other. And yet, she seemed uncertain, as if she was begging me to reassure her.
"Inessa's right," I said, wondering why it was that Avaritia seemed to be able to give voice to half the words in my heart.
"Hmph!" Avaritia's tone was cold, for all they shot me a knowing wink, as soon as Castitas wasn't looking. "Anyway, I think that's enough answers for one day! Like I said, I don't hate people who can be happy and virtuous. But some people need something else! And someone needs to stand up for them!"
Ey posed dramatically, eir ears standing straight up, one claw raised toward the sky.
Then, without waiting for Inessa to reply, ey gave a bow and brought eir claw down, tearing through the world. With a single purposeful step, Avaritia Wolf was gone.
A few seconds later, the portal sealed itself up naturally, leaving no sign of Lupin's presence.
Both Castitas and I lingered for far longer. She dwelled on the fight before her and the death of her crush. I was consumed with the feeling of the earrings in my pocket poking into my thigh and the strange realization that I'd already decided I would be keeping them. Even though we were together, and thinking about the same things, the space between us somehow felt like an insurmountable gap.
NEXT WEEK ON SHINING VIRTUE ANGELIC HEART!!!
With Avaritia's identity revealed, Lupin has no more reason to hold back. Between Avaritia's schemes during the day, the nameless nocturnal beast and a friend's crisis, the Saints struggle to keep up with their foes' machinations. How will the Saints pull through when attacks come without a pause?!
Tune in for Episode 21: Curtains for Charlie!? The Beast's Name is...
Apologies for the delays getting this out. As always, thanks to my beta readers @Chehrazad, @NemoMarx and @Gargulec, as well as thanks to @veteranMortal for helping to proofread.
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- Location
- Lost in Hell
The amount of willful and deliberate fucking ignorance and mental censoring here is fucking astonishing, Holy shit.
C do you think there's a reason you've compared Lupin to Avaritia multiple times now.
Welll that's Ominous especialy with the Earlier speculation about Name shennanigans
- Location
- Lost in Hell
Finished reading. God this is such a good story. I love it and I'll keep saying it.
- Location
- Pennslyvania
- Pronouns
- She/They
Jeez, poor Inessa. Having a whole bunch of things go absolutely terribly for her rn. And aside from that, wow the repression meter is off the charts with C. Lupin literally poked them in the (Magical HRT originating) boob (And god I fucking wish I could just get magical HRT without even needing to do anything) and C just wrote it off.
Flairina
Least Omnipotent Goddess
- Location
- The next infinity over
Huh, that's a jump... what's happening in the in between, I wonder?
Really enjoyed the interactions in this chapter, no matter how crushing it was to see Inessa get shot down that hard... though, after the events of this episode I doubt that crush will be remaining at the forefront of Inessa's mind regarding Lupin. We'll presumably be getting some insight as to how much Temperance remembers about her former coworkers in the process, since that's about to become pretty relevant. If we don't... well, I see team friction in the Saints' future.
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it's always lovely to see an update notification 
thank you for writing this.
thank you for writing this.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
- Location
- Canada, probably
I'm going to guess it was a couple of filler monster-of-the-week episodes, to space things out a little—
Oh, nope, never mind.
I'm interested in this bit:
Magic HRT? Maybe there have been signs before, but I'm guessing this is related to "Curtains for Charlie."
Cracking of the shell? Or maybe C will be like "Lupin's taking the gag awfully far now, this is upsetting to me I'm sure!"
- Location
- The Great Beyond
- Pronouns
- He/She/They
good update and unexpected developments.
I think this is supposed to say 'Inenna all but melt in response' though I suppose I might be wrong that there's a word missing.
No errors here that I notice but I admit I have to giggle at the seeming implication that, effectively, C is getting magical HRT.
I think this should be 'so spoke', not 'so spake'? I might just be missing this being technically correct but archaic english or something.
Now this is definitely an error; 'the sooner this could be behind us', not the sooner this good be behind us which is an obvious case of a correctly spelled but wrong word.
I think this is supposed to say 'Inenna all but melt in response' though I suppose I might be wrong that there's a word missing.
No errors here that I notice but I admit I have to giggle at the seeming implication that, effectively, C is getting magical HRT.
I think this should be 'so spoke', not 'so spake'? I might just be missing this being technically correct but archaic english or something.
Now this is definitely an error; 'the sooner this could be behind us', not the sooner this good be behind us which is an obvious case of a correctly spelled but wrong word.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Loved the chapter!
Not for the first time I find myself wishing I could watch the fictional magical girl anime this story runs parallel to.
Not for the first time I find myself wishing I could watch the fictional magical girl anime this story runs parallel to.
- Location
- Canada, probably
It is technically correct but archaic English, yeah. I think it lends some ironic gravitas. Even if it was a typo, I hope it stays.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This one is correct. The others are fixed and thanks for the corrections!
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The original plan had a few of those sprinkled in where episodes were just pretty clearly skipped entirely, but betas thought it was a bit confusing, and also the story fits the pacing of the fictional show a bit better if there's a 1 to 1 match, so that's gotten changed in revisions basically.
- Location
- Central Standard Time
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- Location
- Earth
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So, Lupin seems to like Inessa, but in a mostly aparthetic way. That...sucks for her. A straight rejection probably would have been less painful. Part of me hopes Lupin is aromantically oblivious just so Inessa will eventually have a less painful explanation for this.
It stinks that Lupin would rather force C to experiment with gender than talk over Inessa's confession. Especially since C isn't going to agree to a girls' day out and Inessa desperately wants one...
I know C means her classmates, but this statement feels directed at both the hypothetical anime's audience and...us.
...
So, do you think Avaricia forced Gula to experiment with gender presentation until she realized she was trans, or the other way around?
Interesting. Both in the "framing any old emotion as greed" sense, and in the pronoun sense.
"Sometimes, 'they' is the silencer on the gun that is he/him." —Abigail Thorn
It might just be the "coward's they," as Ms. Thorn puts it, but...I wonder.
Yeah, um, that's why she thinks it's something she wants to put behind you. She was trying to be friendly and you panicked. What did you expect her to think? That you were being unreasonable and dumb? She'd have to be a bitch to think as little of you as you do!
...Well, I guess that since she's a female canine, she technically is a bitch. But not that kind.
Look, before Lupin moved, her most up-to-date media was probably Animorphs books or something.
Huh. Makes me wonder what Avaricia, Gula, and Superbia were before becoming Abyssal Beasts. Noir and Lupin's family could have just been normal religious types who Noir hid an occult obsession from, but...
This is less the "coward's they" than the "she's the last non-straight person in our friend group to realize she's trans, so I'll call her they".
I was sure C and Inessa would learn who the new Abyssal Beast was during that last confrontation. But we're getting close...
Or Shadell is messing with us.
Flairina
Least Omnipotent Goddess
- Location
- The next infinity over
...I think this might just have been referring to the side of the saints in general, and therefore is just, plural they.
- Location
- The Great Beyond
- Pronouns
- He/She/They
It'd be avaritia if either. Behold;
Avaritia probably point blank told Gula 'you're trans yo' and got her sulking over it, and that's aside the similar extension of this point that Kid!Temperance talks about her 'co-conspirator says anyone can be a girl if I say so' etc.