In The Shadow of Uncle Sam
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Washington, D.C
Secret Service Agent Donnie always liked parks. Most of his childhood was spent in them, playing baseball with his friends, playing catch with his Dad and having picnics on hot summer days.
When it came to Farragut Square, his opinion was amicable. It was a nice park that honoured Admiral David G. Farragut, a hero of the Civil War. In the past, Donnie sometimes had a sandwich for lunch in this park.
Today, however...
Well, the square had seen better days.
The afternoon sun did little to make the park seem better, the shadows that were cast seemed to be everywhere and it made Donnie a little nervous. The greenery looked as if it was barely clinging to life. The flowers were wilting, their petals were crumpled and dry. Any gust of wind, no matter how weak, would scatter them into the air. The grass was no better, the once vibrant green leaves had faded into a sick brown as if they hadn't tasted any water in days, despite being maintained twenty-four-seven. The trees were devoid of their leaves, the branches stuck out like clawed hands reaching for the sky as they blew in the wind. The worst wasn't even in the park, it was the buildings that surrounded it.
The afternoon made them seem shady and uncomfortable, it was like they were looming over you. When Donnie glanced at the windows, he couldn't see anything through them, no thanks to the shadows and the brightness of the afternoon reflected on them. Anyone could be watching him and he wouldn't even know it.
His job was to protect the president, but for a moment he was more concerned with protecting himself. There were eyes everywhere and he couldn't let his guard down.
He briskly walked across the stone pavement to a bench. On that bench, someone was waiting for him, one of the few people he could trust. More importantly, he was one of the few agents in the know.
"Hey Donny," said FBI Special Agent Thomas as he smiled behind his shaded glasses. "You look tired."
"Tell me something I don't know," Donnie replied as he sat down beside Thomas. "Do you have the file?"
Thomas reached into his coat jacket and discreetly pulled out a folder. Donnie said a quick thank-you and reached for it but just as he was pulling it out of Thomas' hand he felt a tug. Thomas' mouth was a thin line.
"Donnie, I've held up my end. I will be in serious hot water if certain people learn about what I'm giving to you without permission. Now tell me what the heck this is about."
Donnie sighed. Thomas let go of the folder and waited. Donnie opened the folder and looked inside, after a quick read through every page he nodded and quickly shoved the folder into his own coat pocket.
"The young man on this profile wants to break part of the Masquerade, the thaumaturgical side of it," Donnie spoke softly as he rubbed his eyes. "He's one of your people, a promising FBI Agent, Jeremy Looms. I've had my suspicions and the profile and records you've given me confirm it. He's a traitor."
Thomas swore under his breath. "You've gotta be kidding me, I've heard about this kid, he's got a lot of potential to be a great agent. Yeah, he's a little rough around the edges, but this..." Thomas shook his head. "This has to be some kind of sick joke."
"I wish it was Thomas."
"Jesus Christ."
"It gets worse, Jeremy Looms is strongly right-wing, admires bloody dictatorships, hates Toons because he thinks 'they aren't funny' and actually believes in a few conspiracy theories."
"Okay, so he's secretly an idiot who drinks the shit Judge Doom is spewing. But how do you know all this and why does he want to break the Masquerade?"
"A friend of mine who frequents the internet brought a social media account to my attention which, let me tell you," Donnie huffed in amusement. "It isn't subtle at all. I didn't think much of it at the time, but then it announced a live stream that would 'change everything' and 'expose the president as a liar'. So naturally as a Secret Service Agent, I was concerned. I called in a favor and they found that the account belonged to Jeremy Looms. I showed my findings to my boss and asked him if I could investigate and he gave me the go-ahead. When I arrived at his residence, the door was slightly open and the place was empty. I don't know if he forgot to lock it or if he was out for a quick errand, but I saw an opportunity. I found two magical artefacts in his wardrobe, I don't know how he obtained them but I'm hoping an interrogation will change that.
"As for wanting to break the Masquerade..."
"Don't leave me in suspense."
"I found the password for his computer written on a piece of paper underneath his monitor, a look through his search history showed me that he's been looking at many different sightings of female magicians and women from magical communities."
"..."
"..."
Agent Thomas slowly put his head in his hands. "...you can't be serious. That's stupid.
That's so stupid."
Agent Donnie simply rubbed his eyes again, the bags under them had yet to recede. "If given the chance, some people would do anything to get a magical girlfriend."
Agent Thomas pulled his out of his hands and then slapped his cheeks twice. "You do realize that you broke into an FBI Agent's apartment without a Search Warrant. He could use that against you."
"Considering that he's trying to break a part of the Masquerade, the very thing that's keeping us from bloody anarchy, just to try and get laid by a sorceress or whatever. I think the law will give me a pass this one time."
"Still Donnie, do you have any idea how reckless what you did was? If you were wrong-"
"I know. But I wasn't going to take the chance that this was just some big misunderstanding. I'm not going to let anyone break the Masquerade and hurt innocent people in the process. I won't."
A slight breeze passed through the square. Flowers swayed and their petals broke off. The sounds of car engines could be heard in the distance. In a nearby cafe, a toon sitting at a table in the corner took a sip of coffee as they reminisced about happier times.
"So... by looking at his profile and records," Agent Thomas asked as he rubbed his chin in contemplation. "You've found the finishing touches need to stack the evidence against him?"
"Yes," Agent Donnie nodded as he glanced around the park for anyone watching. "It confirms everything I've suspected. Once again, thank you for doing this Thomas."
"Don't thank me yet," Agent Thomas replied. "You asked me to tell you something you don't know, so remember Springfield?"
"I'm guessing the negotiations failed." Agent Donnie narrowed his eyes in frustration. "I knew it. Fucking Burns and fucking Russ Cargill."
"Actually, Burns isn't in control anymore."
Agent Thomas would be lying if he said he didn't slightly enjoy the surprise on Agent Donnie's face.
"What?"
"Apparently, Mr Burns lost everything to one Abraham Jebediah Simpson in a goddamn poker game, and before you ask who that is, I'll tell you; Abraham is a World War Two vet, he led a unit called The Flying Hellish, which was notable for ensuring in the success of Operation Overlord. After the war, he married an eco-activist who went under many names, her current whereabouts are unknown. He has three children, one of them is none other than the man responsible for The Dome being dropped onto Springfield, Homer Simpson. Abraham himself is currently the owner of the Springfield Power Plant. He's the one who told the negotiator to stick it where the sun doesn't shine."
"Has he threatened to reveal the Dome to the public?"
"No, but I suspect that he certainly will if the government tries anything funny. The only bright side to this is that he's nothing like Burns."
Agent Donnie nodded as he processed everything that was said. "Who else knows?"
"At the moment, other than the two of us, The Directors of the FBI and CIA, some high-ranking officials, some agents, and the President."
"You forgot Xanatos."
"Xanatos isn't omniscient. I know he has a lot of fingers in a lot of pies, but he shouldn't have any idea about Springfield and the Dome."
"It's Xanatos, Thomas. He always has an idea."
The sun began to dip into the horizon and bit by bit the orange sky faded into twilight.
"So what now," Agent Donnie asked. "From there, Shelbyville was supposed to be our base of operations for reclaiming The Wasteland. Now thanks to The Dome and Russ Cargill, that isn't possible."
Agent Thomas shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think we can get Abraham to work with us long-term, though if he tries to be like Doofenshmirtz and secede from the USA, things could get real difficult."
"I hope it doesn't come to that."
"I hope so too."
Agent Donnie stood up from the bench and rolled his shoulders. "Alright, I'm going to head back. You need to inform your superiors about Jeremy Looms, I'll do the same for the President."
"Right," Agent Thomas nodded and stood up from the bench as well. "Tonight, we'll nail him to the wall."
"Look out for yourself, Thomas."
"You do the same Donnie, I have a feeling there's going to be many things we'll never be prepared for."
The two agents walked away in opposite directions, determined to see a traitor brought to justice.
Three hours later, FBI Agent Jeremy Looms was quietly arrested for the charge of planning to break part of the Masquerade and sentenced to spend a long time in prison. The magical artefacts he'd bought were confiscated and thrown into a vault, the outcome of his interrogation on how and where he'd got them was inconclusive, because Jeremy remembered nothing at all.
The next day, an accidental mix-up with the prison busses resulted in Jeremy Looms being sent to St. Carnard.
And life went on.
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A/N: The US government and Agencies be keeping up the Masquerade like:
Since this omake was already finished, I think it's okay to post it? Please tell me what you think!
