Cool, looks like we're getting back around steel done next turn! So out of curiosity how does that negotiation work? Do you roll to see if we succeed or fail now, or do you only do that during the actual update?
A Hellfish flys again! ( a Simpsons X DVV CK2 Quest)
- Thread starter Ranger65
- Start date
Rap battle syndrome vs abe
- Pronouns
- Female
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYY!
ABE SIMPSON!
VERSUS!
SYNDROMEEEEEE!
Syndrome: Snow! Who'd you bring around?
You went to Springfield and couldn't even get the Clown?!
(Snow: The last time you met one, he ended up six feet underground!)
Oh right, now let's bring the house down!
In fact, before we flip our lids,
You should quit rap battling me and hang out with your kids!
But I can't keep it straight which of your kids would be Canon,
Make like I'm Abbey and Herb and leave this battle straight up abandoned!
So, Hey pal, you're a soldier?
Then shut the fuck up, that's an order!
Abe: An order? HOMER!
(Homer: Yeah, pops, I heard ya;
with hair like that not sure how he gets on a shirt-)
-But now we're gonna serve ya!
My crapton of skills make you want to turn red,
Like your wacky hairdo this beef is coming To a head!
You hate certain people? Imposter Syndrome!
The last group of people like that I fought got lead to the dome!
You're a loser, a disgrace to your crew!
My 10 year old Grandson handles rejection better than you!
Syndrome: Yeah yeah, keep dissing me you shmuck!
I'd make a joke about doing your wife, but she ugly as fuck!
When it comes to worthwhile people, you didn't make the cut!
You're constantly confused, but I'll clear one thing up when you suck Syn-deez nuts!
With how you run around I should probably address,
Hero Syndrome is my name, not a request!
You're just a dumb clown in a shit town,
The last one of those I met got smacked down!
Make like Rita and abandon this singer,
With the raise of my finger, turn Springfield into a gigantic gravestone!
Abe: ...Talk about Mona like that again and I WILL BASH YOUR FUCKING FACE IN!
You talk about my parenting when you're probably an orphan!
You can't win, you can't even do your hair well
(Flanders: With how much you've sinned, the Devil weeps for you in Hell!)
Lose to you? Hardly
Your company is stress incarnate, mine is a party... HIT IT GANG! (All of Abe's Hero Units show up and start playing the instrumental for the rest of his verse)
You'll think you're great until you get caught, then you'll be posing for a mugshot
You're a joke and a fake, you shoulda dodged this battle, unlike the Bandit's cake!
HUNTER! (Hunter: Yes sir?)
Call a firefighter, cause in this lesson learned, this Pine just got burned!
WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT!?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYY!
The YouTube video closes.
"...I think they got my outfit wrong." Abe pouted.
ABE SIMPSON!
VERSUS!
SYNDROMEEEEEE!
Syndrome: Snow! Who'd you bring around?
You went to Springfield and couldn't even get the Clown?!
(Snow: The last time you met one, he ended up six feet underground!)
Oh right, now let's bring the house down!
In fact, before we flip our lids,
You should quit rap battling me and hang out with your kids!
But I can't keep it straight which of your kids would be Canon,
Make like I'm Abbey and Herb and leave this battle straight up abandoned!
So, Hey pal, you're a soldier?
Then shut the fuck up, that's an order!
Abe: An order? HOMER!
(Homer: Yeah, pops, I heard ya;
with hair like that not sure how he gets on a shirt-)
-But now we're gonna serve ya!
My crapton of skills make you want to turn red,
Like your wacky hairdo this beef is coming To a head!
You hate certain people? Imposter Syndrome!
The last group of people like that I fought got lead to the dome!
You're a loser, a disgrace to your crew!
My 10 year old Grandson handles rejection better than you!
Syndrome: Yeah yeah, keep dissing me you shmuck!
I'd make a joke about doing your wife, but she ugly as fuck!
When it comes to worthwhile people, you didn't make the cut!
You're constantly confused, but I'll clear one thing up when you suck Syn-deez nuts!
With how you run around I should probably address,
Hero Syndrome is my name, not a request!
You're just a dumb clown in a shit town,
The last one of those I met got smacked down!
Make like Rita and abandon this singer,
With the raise of my finger, turn Springfield into a gigantic gravestone!
Abe: ...Talk about Mona like that again and I WILL BASH YOUR FUCKING FACE IN!
You talk about my parenting when you're probably an orphan!
You can't win, you can't even do your hair well
(Flanders: With how much you've sinned, the Devil weeps for you in Hell!)
Lose to you? Hardly
Your company is stress incarnate, mine is a party... HIT IT GANG! (All of Abe's Hero Units show up and start playing the instrumental for the rest of his verse)
You'll think you're great until you get caught, then you'll be posing for a mugshot
You're a joke and a fake, you shoulda dodged this battle, unlike the Bandit's cake!
HUNTER! (Hunter: Yes sir?)
Call a firefighter, cause in this lesson learned, this Pine just got burned!
WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT!?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYY!
The YouTube video closes.
"...I think they got my outfit wrong." Abe pouted.
So what secret do you think old Russ has on the government once we catch him and decide to do a bit of persuasion?
It would definitely help in the negotiation in the future once we decide to use the black mail against the government
It would definitely help in the negotiation in the future once we decide to use the black mail against the government
Last edited:
A fellow GM's quest!
Hello good news and good news, the next part of this quest should be out soon and other good news a GM on this one has made thier own quest.
Scrambled Eggs. A Sonic X Sega All Star Villains CK2 Quest Crossover
Scrambled Eggs. A Sonic X Sega All Star Villains CK2 Quest Crossover
There Has To Be a Twist (part 1)
- Location
- California
"...Luz, is our first date In the Hu- Springfield seriously going to be standing around a graveyard and potentially beating up zombies?"
"Uh, yeah, I know it's not the best, Sorry-"
"Huh? Oh no this is genuinely super cool and unique, I just wanted specific clarification, s-sorry."
"Awww. It's ok sweet potato."
"Thanks. I love you, batata."
....
"*Phew!* I thought he'd never leave! So Where should we go first?...Luz? Luz?". Amity tugs on your arm, her angelic smiling face melting away into worry and fear when you dont move from your spot, your body still as a statue
Your name is Luz Noceda, and everything weird about the last two months just made a horrible amount of sense
"...oh my god. OH, MY. GOD!" You yelp. "He thinks it's real! He really thinks magic and zombies and, and whatever is real!" In the vast, empty graveyard you can almost hear the world's echo back at you.
Amity's face shifts from shock and concern to confusion. Blinking, she asks "..and..that's bad?"
"YES!" You yell, even louder this time. "Amity, remember all those times I said the human world had no magic!?!". She nods, and no matter what you think right now, you know she means it. "I do. I thought it was weird when hunter got a job as a 'Magic researcher', but you seemed to think it was okay."
"That's because I thought he was confused about something!! I don't know what people do at powerplants; I'd probably think it's magic too!"
You cup your face in your hands, close to tears "but now it turns out we've been getting our rent money by exploiting a senile old man!! Can this get any worse!?!"
Suddenly, a voice calls out from behind the girls. "My apologies señoritas, but I'm afraid I'm going to-"
Amity snaps to look at him, her voice almost hurling venom. "Buzz off creep! Can't you see my girlfriend is having a mo..ment...?"
Slowly, the two teens turn to look at a disheveled, limping man walking out if the brush. His club foot drags a long, gash-like trail in the dirt behind him as he walks for the first time in decades. His beautiful, ornate clothes have become worn and faded over time, leaving holes in his uniform that expose pale-geen flesh. His chest has 3 dirty-gold medals.
Nonplussed at the sight of two frightend teens(or simply not caring), he raises a rigid, creaking fist to his his mouth in an *ACH-HEM* that nearly snaps his own neck. His throat and eyes flash a bright, searing green.
"As I was saying: I-"
He says nothing, because in an instant Amity draws a bright circle in the air, summoning a purple golem to uppercut him through the chest, sending the John doe flying through the air and into the top of a tree.
"Aaauuuurrrrrggghh!!" He wails, moaning like a stormdrain flowing in reverse. " What was that!?!"
Amity glares at the man in the eyes, despite being atleast 20 feet lower then him. "That was Abomination Magic, Zombie!" Quickly, Amity turns to you and asks: "He is a zombie, right luz?"
You stare at her, stunned. Slowly, you turn to stare at someone who looks like he walked out of a horror movie.
"...yeah. he. i. I guess he looks like a zombie."
Amity's face softens with worry. She pulls you into a hug. Over your shoulder, you hear her say: "abomination, knock down that tree."
You hear the purple behemoth lumber towards the tree. The zombie yells "wait, what are you doing!?!" at the sound of roots ripping from the soil. With a final heave, the abomination practically caber tosses the ancient oak. "You can't do this to me! I was the president of Mexicooooooo!!-"
BOOM!![<-big text plz]
You both turn to see a green, glowing crater north of the old tree's log.
Suddenly, hunter runs up behind you. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!"
In a stunned, shell shocked voice, you say the first thing that comes to mind:
"I think we just rekilled Santa Anna."
Later...
The rest of the day occurs without much incident. Well, except for the other dead people: four shambling men and women who must've crawled out of their graves. They were all dispatched surprisingly easily, and not a one had Santa Anna's ghastly green glow.
You, Amity, and Hunter have spent the last 40 or so minutes talking as you dug a makeshift grave.
Hunter's boss didn't expect it to stop them from coming back, but insisted it was "the right thing to do." You couldn't help but agree.
Sighing, hunter says: "So, let me get this straight: you thought I accidentally bumbled my way into a high paying job where I extort a senile old man for rent money-" "the exortion part's new-" upupbup. not my point: you thought I got this job under false pretenses and didn't think to say anything?" He give you a frank, narrow eyed look that obviously masks his disappointment.
"Yes hunter, I did do that. All of it. Are you happy now?"
"Nope! Pretty insulted actually! But it's nice to know my friend thinks I'm a freaking moron!"
Amity stops digging(her abomination doesn't)and pokes hunter in the chest "Really hunter, you're doing this now?!? after everything luz has just been through?" She glares daggers at the blonde teen. "While we're burying satan!?!"
"YES!" hunter yells, fully drowning out your confused whisper of "what?"
"This guy isn't even the real Satan Claws! He looks like a Human!!"
Amity rolls her eyes and scoffs: "that's because he's in his mall-satan form you idiot!"
"Don't you DARE start that-"
"GUYS!!" You yell, stepping between them before things can escalate.
"Hunter, I'm sorry I doubted you. I didn't mean to insult your intelligence: you guys have been so confused about things on earth that it was an easy mistake to make. Besides" you add, "I thought I made it clear that humans shouldn't know anything about magic."
Hunter softens, face only slightly mad. "I know. It thought it was weird when I hear that guy call at me an 'elf' from that alleyway and asked if i wanted a job." Your eyes bulged at that. "But he looked shady enough that I knew he wasn't just some crazy person. So I flowed him and well. The rest is history. Besides, I've been calling it a magic job for months and you haven't tried to correct me once!"
You sigh. He had a point. "You're right hunter, that's on me." You rub the back of your head and ask "is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?"
Hunter scrunched his face in thought. "Hmmmmm...nope! I still got a good five minutes of anger left in me. Give me a bit, okay?" He gets back to digging.
"Okay," You say. "Amity, that wasn't Satan, that was Santa Anna: a Mexican president/general from like a hundred years ago!"
"Oooooh. That makes sense."
Hunter, still shoveling asks "how do you know that? Didn't-*hah!*", he hurls a heavy clump of dirt, "-didn't you say you were domainican, not meh hikhan?"
"Dominican and Mexican, hunter" he grunts "and I..might have looked him up because I thought Santa Anna was a girlboss." You blush.
"Fair enough. I can't really tell what they are on account of the whole 'exploded' thing." Hunter punctuated himself by ramming his shovel into the ground. "What's up with that, anyway?"
You shake your head. "I don't know. I don't even know why he's *here* when he should be buried in Mexico."
Hunter nods "Yeah, that's weird. Hey Amity, betcha 10 paper snails it's because of weird human magic."
Amity smirks, "You're on!"
"Ooh I bet-"
"It hasn't been 5 minutes yet, you don't get to bet shit."
Suddenly, a ball of purple light flashes right infront of his face. This happened instantaneously, meaning it did nothing to stop Amity from slapping him, and it, in the face.
"What the hell was that!?!"
"It was a slap, you-"
"I MEAN THE PURPLE THING, AMITY!"
"I DONT KNOW!!"
Whatever the orb is, you reach out to touch it. The Orb deftly dodges, and cups itself in hunter's palm. Suddenly, the ball of light contracts and unfurls into a piece of paper. You had no I dea what it said, but thankfully it started to speak.
"Dear Hunter Noceda: you are hereby cordially invited to Old Abe's Emporium's first ever game of Wizball! Food, Fun, and Fellowship with your magical co-workers will be had by all tonight! Bring a friend(as long as they can be trusted to know about magic)and don't be late! Signed, Professor Crumbs."
Hunter squints at that, but suddenly remembers: "Oh, Crumbs!" He turns to you(and amity). "Crumbs is the wizard I work with. I think he's head of the magic department?"
"Oh cool!" "So he's bogus" you and amity say at once. ""Wait, what?""
"Luz, what's wrong with wizards?"
"What's wrong w-" you sputter. "A DEMON-WIZARD TRIED TO EAT ME! AND EDA! AND KING!!!" You scream. "They told me that wizards are just weirdos who stuff glitter in their pockets to trick people!"
Amity puts her hand on your shoulder(probably because she thinks you're still upset about the almost-being-eaten thing. You're not, but it's still appreciated) and says "Maybe the wizards eda knows are like that, but official wizards in the boiling isles are just researchers paid by the emperor to study magic. Some of my first tutors were Abomination Wizards!"
Hunter nods, or more accurately half nods before thinking better of it. "Yeah. There's usually a huge difference between those guys and real wizards."
"...what do you mean usually?"
"Because Crumbs acts like the most of both! One minute he's the most fake, stereotypical wizard you've ever seen, and the next he's saying something I barely understand, but I know just enough to tell he's being genuine! I'm almost convinced he can't even do magic without making a lightball!"
"..huh." You're at a loss for words. Oh, you have THOUGHTS about what the hell this means, but you had just as many, if not more wrong ones when you first came to the boiling isles last summer.
Amity is the first to speak. "...maybe human wizards use orbs instead of circles?"
"Why don't we ask them tonight!" You exclaim.
"Yeah! Wait, *we*?" Hunter says
You grab him by the collar and shake "Hunter, please!! You need to take me to that wibble thing or whatever tonight!!!"
"I-i-i do-o-nt kn-no-o-ow,, i-it ha-hasn-nt b-e-e-e-n fi-i-i-ve mi-n-n-e-t-es y-e-e-e-t" He says, >:3'ing at you.
"Huuuunnnttteeeerrr I needed thiiiiisss!!!" And when the HELL did he learn to >:3!
Suddenly he stops letting himself be shook, and the inertia from his stupid boy-mass sends you stumbling back. "Buuuuuuut, if you told Crumbs I 'hired' you to help with the graveyard, I think he could let you in. Me and willow could vouch for you and amity."
You "*GASP*"! Yesyesyesyesyesyes "yesyesyesyesyes!!! Amity!! LETS GO OUT TONIGHT!!!"
"Slow your roll tiger, why don't we finish our graveyard date first."
Xxx
Hidden in the folded space of a closet held deep within the bowels of a smalltown nuclear powerplant, an ancient wizard harnessed the raw forces of creation
"Please be honest, Ms Despell-" Zap! Flash! In an instant, prismatic light paints the room in a mostly violet rainbow! Lighting shoots from his fingertips and strikes a nearby table with an unearthly glow! Space and matter warp once again, leaving the room's only other occupant with a single, burning question-
"Which snack table do you think works best?"
Lena despell rolls her eyes at Mr Crumb's garishly wasteful display of magic. With almost casual ease, the old man before her bakes the table in another lightshow. To the untrained eye, it almost looks like he's changing between slides in a viewfinder. Or maybe a doctor's office.
Lena Despell is far from untrained. With just a wave of his hand, this unassuming old man just casted dozens of small spells at the same time. He teleported things, transmuted things, even made or unmade them ex nihlo. even the weakest magican could to that last bit with enough practice, but doing it all at once? Effortlessly?? That was far beyond normal. And he was using it for catering?!?
But she didn't let the shock reach her eyes, instead saying "I think you're asking the wrong gal, Crumbs. Foods food; prettying it up only works if it tastes bad."
In her full opinion, she wasn't much of a fan of *un*conjuring food, even temporarily, but she knew better than to say it. If she asked Crumbs the wrong question, or god forbid said something technical he'd almost immediately go full "teacher mode" on her ass. Nooooooo thank you.
Crumbs scoffs in that way old people do and says "Please, you're a teenager! Who else would I ask if not one of you!"
Lena scoffs "someone who wouldn't eat anything free?"
"That's any teenager with standards!!"
"Well maybe some of us can't have standards you crazy old-"
"Hey hey hey, I hope you don't mind if I brought my giiiirrrrrllllfrrriiiieeeeennnddd!!" A goblin/troll/whatever of a man kicks open the door with an uncharacteristic swagger. Crumbs knows not his character and simply says "As long as she fits the plus one criteria I suppose it's fine"
"eeh" moe ehh's. "I wouldn't know. I figured she'd think all this wizard shit is weird. Don't wanna look like too much of a nut, you know?" Lena nods, surprisingly commisoritory
"Then why did you ask-"
"Ooh is that a snack bar?! Gimme gimme gimme!!" Moe interrupts Crumbs to focus on something even more important
Lena gives a completley unjustifiedsmirk and asks :"y'sure everything's to your liking sizzliy?"
Moe stops what he's doing mid-grab. "don't call me that" a cocktail wiener falls put of his hands. For emphasis, you see. "And are you kidding girlie? I've eaten fancy dirt before! This spread is a dream!"
"That's what I've been saying!" Lena said. "Crumb'sy here's just being freaking paranoid." She smiles, putting on a show of being relaxed.
"Also what the hell was that about eating dirt?"
"Oh boy! Did someone say dirt!?!"
The door opens again, this time opening to reveal a man a white labcoat named John whateverthehell Frink. "I have been just dying to talk to someone about soil composits! Anyone at all!"
Crumbs grabbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation, as frink did just that.
Frink was the last person Lena expected to see here(or would be,if lena ever had any reason to know he existed), but apparently this guy "awakened his gift" by learning magic from a book. And recently too! Crumbs was very insistent about that part, and she didn't know why. Doesn't that happen every time someone casts their first spell? It seemed obvious, but then again, lena didn't have a "conventional" learning period. Ooor any at all.
So, she held her tongue in the same exact way frink didn't.
"-and the strange part is despite the presence of certain heavy metals in the soil, the microbiota in that part of the Springfield desert have been shown startling variety in-"
Finally, Crumbs managed overcome a verbal the verbal mudslide and say "Yes Mr frink, this is all fascinating. But could you spare a moment to tell me how the catering is?"
"Well of course, it'd be rude not too!" Crumbs sighs in relief, thankful for any critique.
Frink pick up the nearest pinwheel sandwich and inspects it. He "hmm"s and "I see"s for a few moments before putting it down on a plate. "The bread is a little low-fiber for my liking, and the micronutrient profile could use for work, but the pork proteins are quite stellar! It's still a little heavy in sodium, fats, and sugar for my diet. But what they hey! It's an office party!"
Crumbs is speechless. "Um..thank you, Mr frink?" "No, thank you!"
Before Crumbs could speak, Moe snorts at frink from his piles of hors derves. "Neat trick Poindexter, did you learn that from 'You Want Lies with That'?" Crumbs and Lena looked at eachother, the reference going over their heads.
"Oh haa-EY'vens no!. That 'film' displayed an abhorrent lack of research ethics and academic rigor! No, I mearly picked it up while preparing food for my son."
Moe barks a chuckle at that. "Really now? You had a kid?" Frink shrugs. "I know, I know, I'm hardly the type to settle down. But well...have you ever looked at someone and thought they were the most beautiful person on earth? Like anything they did could make it a better place?" Frink gets a far away look in his eyes that stops Moe's teasing in its tracks. Frink doesn't notice when he saws: "the kind of woman that makes you say'I wanna spend my life with her'?"
Theres a pregnant pause. Moe slowly looks down at his plate. Shaking his head, he reaches for a cup of fruit infused water. "Yeah. I...I did once. A lotta times, actually." Moe, on instinct, swirls his cup in a competing manner. "Sometimes it feels like that all the way to the end. But most days?" Moe takes a long, slow drink of water. "Sometimes I think I feel it too much."
Frink pats moe on the back. They both share a moment of silence at the empty tableas Crumbs and Lena awkwardly move to give them space
Moe chuckles in a way that's more for frink's sake than his own. "Aaah look at me, dragging this shindig down! What about you Mr. ehhh." Moe stops "'The hell's your last name again?"
Frink smiles, nursing a drink of his own. "Frink is my last name, actually."
Moe claps him on the back with just a bit too much force. "There we go! How's Mrs Frink or whatever?"
Frink looks down at his plate, like hes reminded of something. There's a pig in a blanket and slice of chocolate cake just he can't bring himself to eat. Passing the plate to moe, he sighs.
Moe blinks, and gets the feeling he's fallen victim of an annoyingly obtuse food metaphor
Haltingly, moe says "boy, I wish us sadsacks had a distraction right about now." He looks to the door and finds it wanting. "HEY! I SAID I SURE WISH US SAD SACKS-"
"Ja ja, ve heard you ze first time!"
"Ach, I told you they'd be vaiting for us!"
In just a few seconds, two German men entered the room. One was lithe, disheveled, and on edge. The other was calm, collected, and not alive.
Suddenly, frink sprang to his feet, gaze meeting the living German "Hans?! What the hell are you doing with him!?" Frink points at the dead Kaiser wilhem, finger trembling with rage!
The Kaiser shrugs at the scientist's display "he's my plus one."
"Rotwood, I thought you said you were talking about magic with a peer!"
Hans nods enthusiastically "I vas!" He gestures to the kaiser: "I know nothing about spellwork, and wilhelm knows nothing besides ze fingerguns!" Hans clasped his hands together in joy. "Me und the kaiser are practucally eqvals!"
In front of him, having already gotten bored, Wilhelm hollers from the snack table "Hey! Do not fucking bad mouth me like zat!"
"Oh shut up you baboon, you know it's true!" Frink jeers
"I do: that's vhy I do not like it!" The Kaiser lowers his head and mumbles to himself "Hans vas supposed to be ze nice one :'("
Lena pats the larger man on the back, mostly just to push him away from the nosh: she's been eyeing up the oysters all night and won't take "none" for an answer. By chance, her eyes wander to the Kaiser's plate to see him cover his oysters in...chocolate sauce?
"Damn buddy, you eating for two or something?"
The German laughs, then smothers a piece of broccoli in caramel. "HA! No fräuline, mine tongue's just kaput!" "Oh." Lena nods, because honestly that alone is enough for her to get the gist-
"You see little duckling, ven i returned from the grave, mine tongue lagged behind! Now whenever I eat, I alvays taste things lessly and wrong! Some days are better than others, but today? Just the worst!" Elseware in the room, Crumbs feels a mounting, particularly culinary sense of dread.
Wilhelm whispers where he thinks Lena's ear should be "Honestly, I'm just trying to see if I can like the taste of one thing before the day is done, und then I'll stop eating. But It lookz like zat gonna be a goose egg!" He says with forced cheer. "Oh, speaking of: HANS!" Wilhem yells, "-Zhey don't have goose eggs!"
"Ach, poo. I hoping zheyd have it." Hams pouts. The Kaiser sighs, "you've been in America for longer than me! Vhy the hell did you think they'd have goose eggs!?!"
"Well I. I mean. So you see. GAH!!" Rotwood sputters and flails his arms. "I don't know! I thought was wizard food!" The Kaiser chortles "trying to do magic hand signs doesn't make you more correeccctt!!"
Hans doesn't undignify himself with a response.
Crumbs, his smile getting a little strained at this point, slides up to the Germanic duo.
"If you wish for some better food, I could spare some." he offered.
"Oh, no no, it's fine, I don't wish to be a bother."
"Really, it would be perfectly fine-" He started, barely able to keep the mounting desperation out of his tone.
"Besides, I had some Krusty burger with kaiser before we came here so I'm fine." Rotwood shrugged.
"Zeir secert sauce made everything worse!" the Kaiser added from his little corner. Crumbs sighed in Dismay.
Suddenly, hand tapped Crumbs on the shoulder. "Hey Mr., are you doing alright?"
No, but he'll live.
With a sigh, Crumbs turns to meet the new party goer he must've missed in his self pity. She's a teenager, he notes, young enough to've been one of his students back when he was a teacher. There's a brightness in her eyes that clashes with their bags, and on reflex he wonders how long they've been there. Questions for another time, the important thing for now is that she's being polite and present.
Belatedly, hunter noceda coughs and says "thanks for inviting us Mr Crumbs sorryif icant talkor eatrightnow itsallergay seasonihopethat's finebyyyee!!" The two run to a couch in mind embarrassment.
"It's fine!.." Crumbs calls out. The teen at his side gives him a worried look. "Is it fine? You look pretty sad." Crumbs can't help but agree with her. "It's nothing, really child. Im just an old man whose being unbecomingly affected by a lack of critique" the wizard grouses. "Oooh" the young lady says, after scrunching her face in thought. Triumphantly, she says "You're sad because no one's complimented your outfit tonight!"
Crumbs chuckles "Close my dear, it's the cooking. It's been a while since I've hosted a dinner party like this," to Crumb's shame "and I'm used to the guests being more descriptive, if you catch my drift."
His conversation partner nods. "I could do that, if you want."
"Would you?"
The girl nods, faster this time "Yeah! I'm already gonna be trying everything so I can bring something back for my girlfriend; this'll be easy!"
Crumbs smiles at the bright eyed lass. "thank you miss, I think that would be grand. Tell me, what is your name?"
"Luz, Luz Noceda."
"Uh, yeah, I know it's not the best, Sorry-"
"Huh? Oh no this is genuinely super cool and unique, I just wanted specific clarification, s-sorry."
"Awww. It's ok sweet potato."
"Thanks. I love you, batata."
....
"*Phew!* I thought he'd never leave! So Where should we go first?...Luz? Luz?". Amity tugs on your arm, her angelic smiling face melting away into worry and fear when you dont move from your spot, your body still as a statue
Your name is Luz Noceda, and everything weird about the last two months just made a horrible amount of sense
"...oh my god. OH, MY. GOD!" You yelp. "He thinks it's real! He really thinks magic and zombies and, and whatever is real!" In the vast, empty graveyard you can almost hear the world's echo back at you.
Amity's face shifts from shock and concern to confusion. Blinking, she asks "..and..that's bad?"
"YES!" You yell, even louder this time. "Amity, remember all those times I said the human world had no magic!?!". She nods, and no matter what you think right now, you know she means it. "I do. I thought it was weird when hunter got a job as a 'Magic researcher', but you seemed to think it was okay."
"That's because I thought he was confused about something!! I don't know what people do at powerplants; I'd probably think it's magic too!"
You cup your face in your hands, close to tears "but now it turns out we've been getting our rent money by exploiting a senile old man!! Can this get any worse!?!"
Suddenly, a voice calls out from behind the girls. "My apologies señoritas, but I'm afraid I'm going to-"
Amity snaps to look at him, her voice almost hurling venom. "Buzz off creep! Can't you see my girlfriend is having a mo..ment...?"
Slowly, the two teens turn to look at a disheveled, limping man walking out if the brush. His club foot drags a long, gash-like trail in the dirt behind him as he walks for the first time in decades. His beautiful, ornate clothes have become worn and faded over time, leaving holes in his uniform that expose pale-geen flesh. His chest has 3 dirty-gold medals.
Nonplussed at the sight of two frightend teens(or simply not caring), he raises a rigid, creaking fist to his his mouth in an *ACH-HEM* that nearly snaps his own neck. His throat and eyes flash a bright, searing green.
"As I was saying: I-"
He says nothing, because in an instant Amity draws a bright circle in the air, summoning a purple golem to uppercut him through the chest, sending the John doe flying through the air and into the top of a tree.
"Aaauuuurrrrrggghh!!" He wails, moaning like a stormdrain flowing in reverse. " What was that!?!"
Amity glares at the man in the eyes, despite being atleast 20 feet lower then him. "That was Abomination Magic, Zombie!" Quickly, Amity turns to you and asks: "He is a zombie, right luz?"
You stare at her, stunned. Slowly, you turn to stare at someone who looks like he walked out of a horror movie.
"...yeah. he. i. I guess he looks like a zombie."
Amity's face softens with worry. She pulls you into a hug. Over your shoulder, you hear her say: "abomination, knock down that tree."
You hear the purple behemoth lumber towards the tree. The zombie yells "wait, what are you doing!?!" at the sound of roots ripping from the soil. With a final heave, the abomination practically caber tosses the ancient oak. "You can't do this to me! I was the president of Mexicooooooo!!-"
BOOM!![<-big text plz]
You both turn to see a green, glowing crater north of the old tree's log.
Suddenly, hunter runs up behind you. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!"
In a stunned, shell shocked voice, you say the first thing that comes to mind:
"I think we just rekilled Santa Anna."
Later...
The rest of the day occurs without much incident. Well, except for the other dead people: four shambling men and women who must've crawled out of their graves. They were all dispatched surprisingly easily, and not a one had Santa Anna's ghastly green glow.
You, Amity, and Hunter have spent the last 40 or so minutes talking as you dug a makeshift grave.
Hunter's boss didn't expect it to stop them from coming back, but insisted it was "the right thing to do." You couldn't help but agree.
Sighing, hunter says: "So, let me get this straight: you thought I accidentally bumbled my way into a high paying job where I extort a senile old man for rent money-" "the exortion part's new-" upupbup. not my point: you thought I got this job under false pretenses and didn't think to say anything?" He give you a frank, narrow eyed look that obviously masks his disappointment.
"Yes hunter, I did do that. All of it. Are you happy now?"
"Nope! Pretty insulted actually! But it's nice to know my friend thinks I'm a freaking moron!"
Amity stops digging(her abomination doesn't)and pokes hunter in the chest "Really hunter, you're doing this now?!? after everything luz has just been through?" She glares daggers at the blonde teen. "While we're burying satan!?!"
"YES!" hunter yells, fully drowning out your confused whisper of "what?"
"This guy isn't even the real Satan Claws! He looks like a Human!!"
Amity rolls her eyes and scoffs: "that's because he's in his mall-satan form you idiot!"
"Don't you DARE start that-"
"GUYS!!" You yell, stepping between them before things can escalate.
"Hunter, I'm sorry I doubted you. I didn't mean to insult your intelligence: you guys have been so confused about things on earth that it was an easy mistake to make. Besides" you add, "I thought I made it clear that humans shouldn't know anything about magic."
Hunter softens, face only slightly mad. "I know. It thought it was weird when I hear that guy call at me an 'elf' from that alleyway and asked if i wanted a job." Your eyes bulged at that. "But he looked shady enough that I knew he wasn't just some crazy person. So I flowed him and well. The rest is history. Besides, I've been calling it a magic job for months and you haven't tried to correct me once!"
You sigh. He had a point. "You're right hunter, that's on me." You rub the back of your head and ask "is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?"
Hunter scrunched his face in thought. "Hmmmmm...nope! I still got a good five minutes of anger left in me. Give me a bit, okay?" He gets back to digging.
"Okay," You say. "Amity, that wasn't Satan, that was Santa Anna: a Mexican president/general from like a hundred years ago!"
"Oooooh. That makes sense."
Hunter, still shoveling asks "how do you know that? Didn't-*hah!*", he hurls a heavy clump of dirt, "-didn't you say you were domainican, not meh hikhan?"
"Dominican and Mexican, hunter" he grunts "and I..might have looked him up because I thought Santa Anna was a girlboss." You blush.
"Fair enough. I can't really tell what they are on account of the whole 'exploded' thing." Hunter punctuated himself by ramming his shovel into the ground. "What's up with that, anyway?"
You shake your head. "I don't know. I don't even know why he's *here* when he should be buried in Mexico."
Hunter nods "Yeah, that's weird. Hey Amity, betcha 10 paper snails it's because of weird human magic."
Amity smirks, "You're on!"
"Ooh I bet-"
"It hasn't been 5 minutes yet, you don't get to bet shit."
Suddenly, a ball of purple light flashes right infront of his face. This happened instantaneously, meaning it did nothing to stop Amity from slapping him, and it, in the face.
"What the hell was that!?!"
"It was a slap, you-"
"I MEAN THE PURPLE THING, AMITY!"
"I DONT KNOW!!"
Whatever the orb is, you reach out to touch it. The Orb deftly dodges, and cups itself in hunter's palm. Suddenly, the ball of light contracts and unfurls into a piece of paper. You had no I dea what it said, but thankfully it started to speak.
"Dear Hunter Noceda: you are hereby cordially invited to Old Abe's Emporium's first ever game of Wizball! Food, Fun, and Fellowship with your magical co-workers will be had by all tonight! Bring a friend(as long as they can be trusted to know about magic)and don't be late! Signed, Professor Crumbs."
Hunter squints at that, but suddenly remembers: "Oh, Crumbs!" He turns to you(and amity). "Crumbs is the wizard I work with. I think he's head of the magic department?"
"Oh cool!" "So he's bogus" you and amity say at once. ""Wait, what?""
"Luz, what's wrong with wizards?"
"What's wrong w-" you sputter. "A DEMON-WIZARD TRIED TO EAT ME! AND EDA! AND KING!!!" You scream. "They told me that wizards are just weirdos who stuff glitter in their pockets to trick people!"
Amity puts her hand on your shoulder(probably because she thinks you're still upset about the almost-being-eaten thing. You're not, but it's still appreciated) and says "Maybe the wizards eda knows are like that, but official wizards in the boiling isles are just researchers paid by the emperor to study magic. Some of my first tutors were Abomination Wizards!"
Hunter nods, or more accurately half nods before thinking better of it. "Yeah. There's usually a huge difference between those guys and real wizards."
"...what do you mean usually?"
"Because Crumbs acts like the most of both! One minute he's the most fake, stereotypical wizard you've ever seen, and the next he's saying something I barely understand, but I know just enough to tell he's being genuine! I'm almost convinced he can't even do magic without making a lightball!"
"..huh." You're at a loss for words. Oh, you have THOUGHTS about what the hell this means, but you had just as many, if not more wrong ones when you first came to the boiling isles last summer.
Amity is the first to speak. "...maybe human wizards use orbs instead of circles?"
"Why don't we ask them tonight!" You exclaim.
"Yeah! Wait, *we*?" Hunter says
You grab him by the collar and shake "Hunter, please!! You need to take me to that wibble thing or whatever tonight!!!"
"I-i-i do-o-nt kn-no-o-ow,, i-it ha-hasn-nt b-e-e-e-n fi-i-i-ve mi-n-n-e-t-es y-e-e-e-t" He says, >:3'ing at you.
"Huuuunnnttteeeerrr I needed thiiiiisss!!!" And when the HELL did he learn to >:3!
Suddenly he stops letting himself be shook, and the inertia from his stupid boy-mass sends you stumbling back. "Buuuuuuut, if you told Crumbs I 'hired' you to help with the graveyard, I think he could let you in. Me and willow could vouch for you and amity."
You "*GASP*"! Yesyesyesyesyesyes "yesyesyesyesyes!!! Amity!! LETS GO OUT TONIGHT!!!"
"Slow your roll tiger, why don't we finish our graveyard date first."
Xxx
Hidden in the folded space of a closet held deep within the bowels of a smalltown nuclear powerplant, an ancient wizard harnessed the raw forces of creation
"Please be honest, Ms Despell-" Zap! Flash! In an instant, prismatic light paints the room in a mostly violet rainbow! Lighting shoots from his fingertips and strikes a nearby table with an unearthly glow! Space and matter warp once again, leaving the room's only other occupant with a single, burning question-
"Which snack table do you think works best?"
Lena despell rolls her eyes at Mr Crumb's garishly wasteful display of magic. With almost casual ease, the old man before her bakes the table in another lightshow. To the untrained eye, it almost looks like he's changing between slides in a viewfinder. Or maybe a doctor's office.
Lena Despell is far from untrained. With just a wave of his hand, this unassuming old man just casted dozens of small spells at the same time. He teleported things, transmuted things, even made or unmade them ex nihlo. even the weakest magican could to that last bit with enough practice, but doing it all at once? Effortlessly?? That was far beyond normal. And he was using it for catering?!?
But she didn't let the shock reach her eyes, instead saying "I think you're asking the wrong gal, Crumbs. Foods food; prettying it up only works if it tastes bad."
In her full opinion, she wasn't much of a fan of *un*conjuring food, even temporarily, but she knew better than to say it. If she asked Crumbs the wrong question, or god forbid said something technical he'd almost immediately go full "teacher mode" on her ass. Nooooooo thank you.
Crumbs scoffs in that way old people do and says "Please, you're a teenager! Who else would I ask if not one of you!"
Lena scoffs "someone who wouldn't eat anything free?"
"That's any teenager with standards!!"
"Well maybe some of us can't have standards you crazy old-"
"Hey hey hey, I hope you don't mind if I brought my giiiirrrrrllllfrrriiiieeeeennnddd!!" A goblin/troll/whatever of a man kicks open the door with an uncharacteristic swagger. Crumbs knows not his character and simply says "As long as she fits the plus one criteria I suppose it's fine"
"eeh" moe ehh's. "I wouldn't know. I figured she'd think all this wizard shit is weird. Don't wanna look like too much of a nut, you know?" Lena nods, surprisingly commisoritory
"Then why did you ask-"
"Ooh is that a snack bar?! Gimme gimme gimme!!" Moe interrupts Crumbs to focus on something even more important
Lena gives a completley unjustifiedsmirk and asks :"y'sure everything's to your liking sizzliy?"
Moe stops what he's doing mid-grab. "don't call me that" a cocktail wiener falls put of his hands. For emphasis, you see. "And are you kidding girlie? I've eaten fancy dirt before! This spread is a dream!"
"That's what I've been saying!" Lena said. "Crumb'sy here's just being freaking paranoid." She smiles, putting on a show of being relaxed.
"Also what the hell was that about eating dirt?"
"Oh boy! Did someone say dirt!?!"
The door opens again, this time opening to reveal a man a white labcoat named John whateverthehell Frink. "I have been just dying to talk to someone about soil composits! Anyone at all!"
Crumbs grabbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation, as frink did just that.
Frink was the last person Lena expected to see here(or would be,if lena ever had any reason to know he existed), but apparently this guy "awakened his gift" by learning magic from a book. And recently too! Crumbs was very insistent about that part, and she didn't know why. Doesn't that happen every time someone casts their first spell? It seemed obvious, but then again, lena didn't have a "conventional" learning period. Ooor any at all.
So, she held her tongue in the same exact way frink didn't.
"-and the strange part is despite the presence of certain heavy metals in the soil, the microbiota in that part of the Springfield desert have been shown startling variety in-"
Finally, Crumbs managed overcome a verbal the verbal mudslide and say "Yes Mr frink, this is all fascinating. But could you spare a moment to tell me how the catering is?"
"Well of course, it'd be rude not too!" Crumbs sighs in relief, thankful for any critique.
Frink pick up the nearest pinwheel sandwich and inspects it. He "hmm"s and "I see"s for a few moments before putting it down on a plate. "The bread is a little low-fiber for my liking, and the micronutrient profile could use for work, but the pork proteins are quite stellar! It's still a little heavy in sodium, fats, and sugar for my diet. But what they hey! It's an office party!"
Crumbs is speechless. "Um..thank you, Mr frink?" "No, thank you!"
Before Crumbs could speak, Moe snorts at frink from his piles of hors derves. "Neat trick Poindexter, did you learn that from 'You Want Lies with That'?" Crumbs and Lena looked at eachother, the reference going over their heads.
"Oh haa-EY'vens no!. That 'film' displayed an abhorrent lack of research ethics and academic rigor! No, I mearly picked it up while preparing food for my son."
Moe barks a chuckle at that. "Really now? You had a kid?" Frink shrugs. "I know, I know, I'm hardly the type to settle down. But well...have you ever looked at someone and thought they were the most beautiful person on earth? Like anything they did could make it a better place?" Frink gets a far away look in his eyes that stops Moe's teasing in its tracks. Frink doesn't notice when he saws: "the kind of woman that makes you say'I wanna spend my life with her'?"
Theres a pregnant pause. Moe slowly looks down at his plate. Shaking his head, he reaches for a cup of fruit infused water. "Yeah. I...I did once. A lotta times, actually." Moe, on instinct, swirls his cup in a competing manner. "Sometimes it feels like that all the way to the end. But most days?" Moe takes a long, slow drink of water. "Sometimes I think I feel it too much."
Frink pats moe on the back. They both share a moment of silence at the empty tableas Crumbs and Lena awkwardly move to give them space
Moe chuckles in a way that's more for frink's sake than his own. "Aaah look at me, dragging this shindig down! What about you Mr. ehhh." Moe stops "'The hell's your last name again?"
Frink smiles, nursing a drink of his own. "Frink is my last name, actually."
Moe claps him on the back with just a bit too much force. "There we go! How's Mrs Frink or whatever?"
Frink looks down at his plate, like hes reminded of something. There's a pig in a blanket and slice of chocolate cake just he can't bring himself to eat. Passing the plate to moe, he sighs.
Moe blinks, and gets the feeling he's fallen victim of an annoyingly obtuse food metaphor
Haltingly, moe says "boy, I wish us sadsacks had a distraction right about now." He looks to the door and finds it wanting. "HEY! I SAID I SURE WISH US SAD SACKS-"
"Ja ja, ve heard you ze first time!"
"Ach, I told you they'd be vaiting for us!"
In just a few seconds, two German men entered the room. One was lithe, disheveled, and on edge. The other was calm, collected, and not alive.
Suddenly, frink sprang to his feet, gaze meeting the living German "Hans?! What the hell are you doing with him!?" Frink points at the dead Kaiser wilhem, finger trembling with rage!
The Kaiser shrugs at the scientist's display "he's my plus one."
"Rotwood, I thought you said you were talking about magic with a peer!"
Hans nods enthusiastically "I vas!" He gestures to the kaiser: "I know nothing about spellwork, and wilhelm knows nothing besides ze fingerguns!" Hans clasped his hands together in joy. "Me und the kaiser are practucally eqvals!"
In front of him, having already gotten bored, Wilhelm hollers from the snack table "Hey! Do not fucking bad mouth me like zat!"
"Oh shut up you baboon, you know it's true!" Frink jeers
"I do: that's vhy I do not like it!" The Kaiser lowers his head and mumbles to himself "Hans vas supposed to be ze nice one :'("
Lena pats the larger man on the back, mostly just to push him away from the nosh: she's been eyeing up the oysters all night and won't take "none" for an answer. By chance, her eyes wander to the Kaiser's plate to see him cover his oysters in...chocolate sauce?
"Damn buddy, you eating for two or something?"
The German laughs, then smothers a piece of broccoli in caramel. "HA! No fräuline, mine tongue's just kaput!" "Oh." Lena nods, because honestly that alone is enough for her to get the gist-
"You see little duckling, ven i returned from the grave, mine tongue lagged behind! Now whenever I eat, I alvays taste things lessly and wrong! Some days are better than others, but today? Just the worst!" Elseware in the room, Crumbs feels a mounting, particularly culinary sense of dread.
Wilhelm whispers where he thinks Lena's ear should be "Honestly, I'm just trying to see if I can like the taste of one thing before the day is done, und then I'll stop eating. But It lookz like zat gonna be a goose egg!" He says with forced cheer. "Oh, speaking of: HANS!" Wilhem yells, "-Zhey don't have goose eggs!"
"Ach, poo. I hoping zheyd have it." Hams pouts. The Kaiser sighs, "you've been in America for longer than me! Vhy the hell did you think they'd have goose eggs!?!"
"Well I. I mean. So you see. GAH!!" Rotwood sputters and flails his arms. "I don't know! I thought was wizard food!" The Kaiser chortles "trying to do magic hand signs doesn't make you more correeccctt!!"
Hans doesn't undignify himself with a response.
Crumbs, his smile getting a little strained at this point, slides up to the Germanic duo.
"If you wish for some better food, I could spare some." he offered.
"Oh, no no, it's fine, I don't wish to be a bother."
"Really, it would be perfectly fine-" He started, barely able to keep the mounting desperation out of his tone.
"Besides, I had some Krusty burger with kaiser before we came here so I'm fine." Rotwood shrugged.
"Zeir secert sauce made everything worse!" the Kaiser added from his little corner. Crumbs sighed in Dismay.
Suddenly, hand tapped Crumbs on the shoulder. "Hey Mr., are you doing alright?"
No, but he'll live.
With a sigh, Crumbs turns to meet the new party goer he must've missed in his self pity. She's a teenager, he notes, young enough to've been one of his students back when he was a teacher. There's a brightness in her eyes that clashes with their bags, and on reflex he wonders how long they've been there. Questions for another time, the important thing for now is that she's being polite and present.
Behind him, Crumbs can hear Hunter Noceda mumble under his breath.
"I don't think I'll l never get used to the food here" Hunter whispers. "I haven't eaten something with eyes in months!"
"Me neither", said his friend. She was about his age as well. The blonde scratches his head. "Do you think they'll notice if we dont eat much?" "they will if we say it out loud!" The other teen raps him in the stomach. "Gah!" Hunter gasps,. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!" at his side, a stocky girl with pointed ears blushes in embarrassment while hunter clutches his stomach. "It's fine Captain, I just didn't expect you to hit that hard. I guess all that exercise is really paying off!" despite his pain, crumbs can hear a hint of praise in the boy's voice. "Heh, well i have been working out a lot." "captian" rubs the back of her head. The two look around and notice almost the whole room is looking at them
"I don't think I'll l never get used to the food here" Hunter whispers. "I haven't eaten something with eyes in months!"
"Me neither", said his friend. She was about his age as well. The blonde scratches his head. "Do you think they'll notice if we dont eat much?" "they will if we say it out loud!" The other teen raps him in the stomach. "Gah!" Hunter gasps,. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!" at his side, a stocky girl with pointed ears blushes in embarrassment while hunter clutches his stomach. "It's fine Captain, I just didn't expect you to hit that hard. I guess all that exercise is really paying off!" despite his pain, crumbs can hear a hint of praise in the boy's voice. "Heh, well i have been working out a lot." "captian" rubs the back of her head. The two look around and notice almost the whole room is looking at them
Belatedly, hunter noceda coughs and says "thanks for inviting us Mr Crumbs sorryif icant talkor eatrightnow itsallergay seasonihopethat's finebyyyee!!" The two run to a couch in mind embarrassment.
"It's fine!.." Crumbs calls out. The teen at his side gives him a worried look. "Is it fine? You look pretty sad." Crumbs can't help but agree with her. "It's nothing, really child. Im just an old man whose being unbecomingly affected by a lack of critique" the wizard grouses. "Oooh" the young lady says, after scrunching her face in thought. Triumphantly, she says "You're sad because no one's complimented your outfit tonight!"
Crumbs chuckles "Close my dear, it's the cooking. It's been a while since I've hosted a dinner party like this," to Crumb's shame "and I'm used to the guests being more descriptive, if you catch my drift."
His conversation partner nods. "I could do that, if you want."
"Would you?"
The girl nods, faster this time "Yeah! I'm already gonna be trying everything so I can bring something back for my girlfriend; this'll be easy!"
Crumbs smiles at the bright eyed lass. "thank you miss, I think that would be grand. Tell me, what is your name?"
"Luz, Luz Noceda."
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Ohh I think I know what fink is talking about with the whole heavy metal in the soil. It's from the planet express ship.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I'm kinda curious if Moe will mention off hand that little gremlin aka Kikimora that tried to pay in snails within earshot of any of the owl house character. I'm they'd be VERY interested to know that Kiki is on earth if they aren't aware of it already.
The Froggy Ninja
The Blade Will Never Die
Might also explain the diversity in the microbiome if it carried space bacteria or something. I also wonder if the Glyphs will work on any environmental magic or if it's specifically gotta be Papa Titan.
Loved the update. I got a lot of laughs.
I especially liked Luce realizing magic exists outside of the Boiling Isles.
I especially liked Luce realizing magic exists outside of the Boiling Isles.
The Froggy Ninja
The Blade Will Never Die
Does Gridlocked have the Time Quangle issues most of the other DVV settings do?
Yes but arguably worse
- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
What is the Time Quangle?
It's when time itself gets in a Quangle
The Froggy Ninja
The Blade Will Never Die
So imagine a standard Quangle, but shifted into a temporal dimension. More seriously, I was referring to the kind of stitched together reality of DVV Classic or the SEGA VV and so on, where a bunch of dimensions and timelines got crudely stitched together, disrupting the nature of reality and the laws of physics and magic.
- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
Ah.
So, usual "Time got fucked up and now we have all time periods in the modern day" stuff? Usual PvZ2 Trope?
More you try and time travel, it won't work...also you might suffer from it.
- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
Got it, thanks.
The Froggy Ninja
The Blade Will Never Die
Well, sort of. In DVV Classic no real modern day examples are involved, so it's more like the 100s and the 1900s are coexisting, though the part I was perhaps imprecise in specifying was that because of different dimensions and times smashing together, the rules of magic and clarketech become less consistent, for better or worse.
- Location
- Germany
...I really HAD to jinx things there by thinking about Burns escaping, huh? And he didn´t even team up with another Noble to kick us yet (that we know of at least)
*Friggin great, you German halfwit*...
Kinda like this clip by Cyanide and Happiness?
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiJWCJc4Oec
Anyway, something TVTropes has to say about the whole Poochie debacle by way of their "Strawman has a point"
"Homer's defensiveness of Poochie is treated like a lost cause, given the character clearly doesn't mesh with the show, but the clear reasoning behind this is because Homer is the only person in the creative team who cares about making Poochie work properly, with Executive Meddling mostly defining Poochie's creation by fads and the writers' clear apathy in making him integrate into the formula (to the point of making him Immune to Slapstick and writing zero jokes around him). Along with the fact that they immediately deem Poochie a failed concept and decide to kill him off after one episode (ironically for a show where killing a character off temporarily is the main shtick), it is easy to argue the character could have worked if anyone else had even a sliver of the passion to have him Rescued from the Scrappy Heap that Homer did. This sticks out further given The Simpsons own tendency to add new characters to the mix since it first aired, even gimmicky ones, and actually make them work through competent writing."
So yeah, as I said before *Poochie coulda easily worked out as a third main character for the show* - the execs and Myers in particular just couldn´t be arsed to put in even the minimum amount of effort to figure something out.
As a lay author, that just pisses me off, you know?
It's cool you take all the time you need with it.
Turn 6!
- Location
- Fall, or somewhere close to it
You still weren't sure how to feel about how things had panned out recently.
Life had its ups and downs. You were the proud owner of two TV shows, but more importantly your family was finally being patched up. Homer and, more shockingly, Herb were both back in your life and things were good between you.
There were still issues, of course. Those Zombies weren't going to stay in that graveyard forever, there was some Yakuza bigwig coming to town apparently, and that wasn't even mentioning that, as much as you crippled him, Burns was still out there, scheming in the shadows like the villain he was. Bah.
But overall? As you came up on a year of being in this new position of power, you felt great. To say there was no complications would be a lie, but that was life, wasn't it?
Nothing ever just happened exactly as planned, you have found.
As you continue to mull things over in your new favorite chair, one of your housekeepers shows up.
"Yo. Sorry to bother you, boss, but some crazy scientist is-" Gloria started.
"SIRRRRR!" Frink shouted at the top of his lungs, barreling in.
"...Or you can just come in and interrupt me. No, no, that's totally fine." Gloria drawled sarcastically.
"Thank you for understanding." He waved obliviously at her, not looking up from work calculations. Gloria face palmed and walked off with a grumble.
"By Taft's Belly, Frink! What is it?" You asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Sir! These readings! They're beyond anything I have ever seen! They're practically foreign to what ANYONE has seen! We have to investigate!"
Tick tock... Tick tock...
Ugh, now your clock was probably broken, because you heard that blasted ticking again.
Can't your life ever just be easy?
As you follow Frink, you think on what else you need to do for now…
To be continued in Interlude "The First Step"...
Xxx
As you follow Frink to get to the strange readings, it all reminds you of an equally excitable fellow you met up with not too long ago...
You and Homer were carpooling to work (it was still amazing to be able to just casually sit together like this).
The silence was completely peaceful when Homer suddenly heard something. Something loud.
"Dad, is that your stomach?"
"No."
"... Is that MY stomach?"
"...Homer how would I know that?"
"D'oh!"
Before the two of you could wonder for much longer what exactly the noise was, an entire helicopter touched down in front of you! Homer screamed in terror and hit the breaks, just barely stopping himself from slamming into whoever was inside.
As you caught your breathe, Homer scowled and got out to yell at the guy.
"Are you completely insane!?" He shook his fist.
"Heh. Maybe a little." A voice jovially stated as a man stepped, raising his goggles off his eyes. Homer gasped.
"MR. SCORPIO!?" Homer gasped.
"Ha ha! In the flesh, Homer! How's my old employee doing?" He grinned.
"Ehhh, fine fine. Same old same old. Well. Kinda. Oh Dad, say hi." Homer nodded.
"...Hello." You waved in baffled surprise.
"Ah, this is your father you mentioned! Want me to kill him?" The man asked nonchalantly, stroking his beard.
Your eyes bugged out of your head, But Homer just laughed and waved him off.
"No no, we're good now. Heh. How's business been?" Your son asked the weird man.
"Eh, not very good, Homer. Things sure aren't on the upswing, I'll tell you that much. Butttt... I think you can fix that!"
"Eh, maybe. Or maybe my Dad can! Oh yeah, pops, this is an ex boss of mine, Hank Scorpio."
You aren't sure what to feel as you enthusiastically shake hands with Hank.
"I get the feeling we can Really help each other..." He chuckled.
...Ominous.
—
You have collab options open with Hank Scorpio! You may pick a single one to do next Turn!
Current Income: 5- 1 - 1 + 4 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 13
Any action Jasper is assigned to doesn't count for the total action limit.
Mona has a +5 to the next National Action she is assigned to this turn.
Have access to a free National Action thanks to Quimby that has to be focused on Springfield only.
The Finale, Professor Crumbs, Kaiser Willhelm II and Flanders can give up his ability to perform in a National action this turn to instead use half of their Stewardship and Diplomacy instead of Abe for rolls, and sacrificing also their Personal action makes them use their full bonus. Cannot be used twice in a row.
Available National Actions: 1 in Martial, and Learning. 2 in Diplomacy, Stewardship, Intrigue and Occult.
This turn Kaiser's ability hit: "We're Having A Party!" DC reduced to 45!
BLACKMAIL CHOICE:
According to Fat Tony the evidence gathering dust in your safe about the dome could be sold for a pretty penny to some…"concerned parties" if you so wished. On the other hand, He also comments that you could use that blackmail to demand…a few things from Good Old Uncle Sam. Though that's risky, Fat Tony says, if we asks for too much they might not accept. It would also mean actually following the side of your deal and giving the evidence to them. On the other hand…
What does Abe do about the blackmail?
[ ] Nothing…yet (You don't use the blackmail, options remain open.)
[] Make your demands to Uncle sam in exchange for not releasing the information. (With the advice of Fat Tony you realize that you actually have them on a vice grip. You could asks for whatever you want as long as you held this over their heads…just make sure to be careful what to asks for, or how often)
-[](Write in your demands, be aware that if you ask for too much, the government might just refuse you, blackmail be damned.)
[ ] Offer it to a "King". This information can be quite a door opener with the right people. Can easily land you in the good graces of one of the top dogs around here…if you dare risk it.
-[] (Write which king you will offer the blackmail to)
NOTE: We are now accepting Write-In Actions. If you want to submit a Write-in Action please write it up, mark what stat you believe it should be, and we will take a look at it and try to come up with a DC and if it will fit in.
Life had its ups and downs. You were the proud owner of two TV shows, but more importantly your family was finally being patched up. Homer and, more shockingly, Herb were both back in your life and things were good between you.
There were still issues, of course. Those Zombies weren't going to stay in that graveyard forever, there was some Yakuza bigwig coming to town apparently, and that wasn't even mentioning that, as much as you crippled him, Burns was still out there, scheming in the shadows like the villain he was. Bah.
But overall? As you came up on a year of being in this new position of power, you felt great. To say there was no complications would be a lie, but that was life, wasn't it?
Nothing ever just happened exactly as planned, you have found.
As you continue to mull things over in your new favorite chair, one of your housekeepers shows up.
"Yo. Sorry to bother you, boss, but some crazy scientist is-" Gloria started.
"SIRRRRR!" Frink shouted at the top of his lungs, barreling in.
"...Or you can just come in and interrupt me. No, no, that's totally fine." Gloria drawled sarcastically.
"Thank you for understanding." He waved obliviously at her, not looking up from work calculations. Gloria face palmed and walked off with a grumble.
"By Taft's Belly, Frink! What is it?" You asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Sir! These readings! They're beyond anything I have ever seen! They're practically foreign to what ANYONE has seen! We have to investigate!"
Tick tock... Tick tock...
Ugh, now your clock was probably broken, because you heard that blasted ticking again.
Can't your life ever just be easy?
As you follow Frink, you think on what else you need to do for now…
To be continued in Interlude "The First Step"...
Xxx
As you follow Frink to get to the strange readings, it all reminds you of an equally excitable fellow you met up with not too long ago...
You and Homer were carpooling to work (it was still amazing to be able to just casually sit together like this).
The silence was completely peaceful when Homer suddenly heard something. Something loud.
"Dad, is that your stomach?"
"No."
"... Is that MY stomach?"
"...Homer how would I know that?"
"D'oh!"
Before the two of you could wonder for much longer what exactly the noise was, an entire helicopter touched down in front of you! Homer screamed in terror and hit the breaks, just barely stopping himself from slamming into whoever was inside.
As you caught your breathe, Homer scowled and got out to yell at the guy.
"Are you completely insane!?" He shook his fist.
"Heh. Maybe a little." A voice jovially stated as a man stepped, raising his goggles off his eyes. Homer gasped.
"MR. SCORPIO!?" Homer gasped.
"Ha ha! In the flesh, Homer! How's my old employee doing?" He grinned.
"Ehhh, fine fine. Same old same old. Well. Kinda. Oh Dad, say hi." Homer nodded.
"...Hello." You waved in baffled surprise.
"Ah, this is your father you mentioned! Want me to kill him?" The man asked nonchalantly, stroking his beard.
Your eyes bugged out of your head, But Homer just laughed and waved him off.
"No no, we're good now. Heh. How's business been?" Your son asked the weird man.
"Eh, not very good, Homer. Things sure aren't on the upswing, I'll tell you that much. Butttt... I think you can fix that!"
"Eh, maybe. Or maybe my Dad can! Oh yeah, pops, this is an ex boss of mine, Hank Scorpio."
You aren't sure what to feel as you enthusiastically shake hands with Hank.
"I get the feeling we can Really help each other..." He chuckled.
...Ominous.
—
You have collab options open with Hank Scorpio! You may pick a single one to do next Turn!
Current Income: 5- 1 - 1 + 4 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 13
Any action Jasper is assigned to doesn't count for the total action limit.
Mona has a +5 to the next National Action she is assigned to this turn.
Have access to a free National Action thanks to Quimby that has to be focused on Springfield only.
The Finale, Professor Crumbs, Kaiser Willhelm II and Flanders can give up his ability to perform in a National action this turn to instead use half of their Stewardship and Diplomacy instead of Abe for rolls, and sacrificing also their Personal action makes them use their full bonus. Cannot be used twice in a row.
Available National Actions: 1 in Martial, and Learning. 2 in Diplomacy, Stewardship, Intrigue and Occult.
This turn Kaiser's ability hit: "We're Having A Party!" DC reduced to 45!
Martial
Upgrade Your Security Force. - DC:50
Now that you are the CEO of Burns company you can see a lack of…security in the building. Sure there's lots of traps keeping the place secure against robbers, but not much on actual competent manpower. It wouldn't hurt to fix that.
Rewards: increased DC against any attacks made to your company.
Create Your Own Security Group. - DC:75:
Seeing all those caped people and the current situation of America makes you realize that Springfield isn't as secure as you think. Making your own security group seems like a good idea, having people you can count on to protect you and your family in case of trouble.
Reward: Increase of Dc against people/organizations that are attacking/invading Springfield. Further actions unlocked.
Build Bunkers For The City - DC:45.
Now that the city is back to its former glory you suppose it wouldn't hurt to make some preparations in case another disaster strikes. You can never be too prepared nowadays apparently. (Cost 1 income)
Reward: bunkers to protect civilians build, in cases of attacks or crisis less chances for them to be hurt.
Buy Weapons For The Mob (Mafia Action) - DC:55
Fat Tony may have both Johnny Tightlips back and a bunch of goons, but that doesn't really matter if they're defenseless. Might as well fix that.
Reward:Fat Tony is better armed, potential Fat Tony Martial increase. Fat Tony opinion increase
Now that you are the CEO of Burns company you can see a lack of…security in the building. Sure there's lots of traps keeping the place secure against robbers, but not much on actual competent manpower. It wouldn't hurt to fix that.
Rewards: increased DC against any attacks made to your company.
Create Your Own Security Group. - DC:75:
Seeing all those caped people and the current situation of America makes you realize that Springfield isn't as secure as you think. Making your own security group seems like a good idea, having people you can count on to protect you and your family in case of trouble.
Reward: Increase of Dc against people/organizations that are attacking/invading Springfield. Further actions unlocked.
Build Bunkers For The City - DC:45.
Now that the city is back to its former glory you suppose it wouldn't hurt to make some preparations in case another disaster strikes. You can never be too prepared nowadays apparently. (Cost 1 income)
Reward: bunkers to protect civilians build, in cases of attacks or crisis less chances for them to be hurt.
Buy Weapons For The Mob (Mafia Action) - DC:55
Fat Tony may have both Johnny Tightlips back and a bunch of goons, but that doesn't really matter if they're defenseless. Might as well fix that.
Reward:Fat Tony is better armed, potential Fat Tony Martial increase. Fat Tony opinion increase
Diplomacy
Hire Outside Workers For Your Company - DC: variable higher the better.
So, with Springfield opening its doors to newcomers comes a slew of people who need jobs. Maybe it's best to give them a chance, but it can't go that badly... Right?
Reward: Options to hire a Canon Character from outside the Simpsons
Reach Out To The Government. - DC:70.
You aren't too keen to reach out to that Damn government after their bullshit with the Dome and their bomb. Even so, the city could use the help of the government, it might be worth setting talks with them. But if they dare to put another dome on the city you swear you are gonna send non stop mail to the president until they apologize! Reward: begins communication with the government, possibility to collaborate on actions.
Recruit Super Villains To Your Retinue - DC:70:
Some people might think you are going senile for thinking this But jokes on them! You are already senile! Still back to this. You can tell there are some issues you need help with, and that some goody too shoes wouldn't be amenable to doing. Just have to make sure the people you hire won't double cross you.
Reward: Options to recruit a villain cape.
Recruit Criminals - DC:60:
You know, maybe a sort of reform program could reduce crime instead of just locking people up!
Reward: You form a reform program that adds various criminals from surrounding prisons to your Recruitment list. Increased opinion from people who advocate for giving criminals second chances
Set Up A Meeting With A King: though you are skeptical of these guys truly having control of the U.S.A, you can't deny they really can pull their weight around, reaching out to them to collaborate on a project might be hard to do, but if you can manage it, that will open some nifty doors.
Reward: get in contact with a king and open possible collaboration actions with them.
Dc will vary depending in the king/faction:
Xanatos DC:80
Shego DC:70
Syndrome DC:90
Judge Doom DC:80
Shere Khan DC:60
Glomgold: DC:70
Opening A New Ecosystem - DC:40.
So according to The Finale, there are these walking animals and 2 types at that predator and prey around a place called zootopia. Huh, first time you heard about that. Now apparently the predators aren't being treated right having to wear shock collars that zap them if they get to angry or too scared or to happy...or even to sad...basically if they show to much emotion zap ,so how about you give those folks a place to live where they won't get zapped by making Springfield open to all(animal) predators!.
Reward: Springfield gets a wave of new citizens(and they're money) Bellwether will get slightly annoyed. (Choose this at your own risk).
Reach Out To Military Figures - DC:70
The general was kind enough to give you some of his remaining contacts in the military to reach out to, and while you are not too keen on getting involved with the government, perhaps you could strike a deal with some of these figures?
Reward: Get in contact with figures in the U.S military, unlock new actions.
Advertise Itchy and Scratchy Show - DC:70
Now that you are the proud owner of this decades old cartoon, it's time to focus on making the show great again! To start that, you ought to get the word and promote the show! There is plenty of bad press about toons in general, you have to make people aware that the toons aren't anything like that!
Reward: Promote Itchy and Scratchy show, effectiveness might be reduced because of current toon negativity.
Reach Out To The Zombies - DC:???
So if all the zombies are like The Kaiser and have all their memories and junk then wouldn't they be open to talking? Send someone in to check out the cemetery and actually chat with the zombies to see if they are evil undead out to eat all our brains or just kinda weird guys who can live with the rest of the weirdos in Springfield.
Reward: Communications opened with the zombies, further zombie actions unlocked.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Magically Ward The Cemetery.
So, with Springfield opening its doors to newcomers comes a slew of people who need jobs. Maybe it's best to give them a chance, but it can't go that badly... Right?
Reward: Options to hire a Canon Character from outside the Simpsons
Reach Out To The Government. - DC:70.
You aren't too keen to reach out to that Damn government after their bullshit with the Dome and their bomb. Even so, the city could use the help of the government, it might be worth setting talks with them. But if they dare to put another dome on the city you swear you are gonna send non stop mail to the president until they apologize! Reward: begins communication with the government, possibility to collaborate on actions.
Recruit Super Villains To Your Retinue - DC:70:
Some people might think you are going senile for thinking this But jokes on them! You are already senile! Still back to this. You can tell there are some issues you need help with, and that some goody too shoes wouldn't be amenable to doing. Just have to make sure the people you hire won't double cross you.
Reward: Options to recruit a villain cape.
Recruit Criminals - DC:60:
You know, maybe a sort of reform program could reduce crime instead of just locking people up!
Reward: You form a reform program that adds various criminals from surrounding prisons to your Recruitment list. Increased opinion from people who advocate for giving criminals second chances
Set Up A Meeting With A King: though you are skeptical of these guys truly having control of the U.S.A, you can't deny they really can pull their weight around, reaching out to them to collaborate on a project might be hard to do, but if you can manage it, that will open some nifty doors.
Reward: get in contact with a king and open possible collaboration actions with them.
Dc will vary depending in the king/faction:
Xanatos DC:80
Shego DC:70
Syndrome DC:90
Judge Doom DC:80
Shere Khan DC:60
Glomgold: DC:70
Opening A New Ecosystem - DC:40.
So according to The Finale, there are these walking animals and 2 types at that predator and prey around a place called zootopia. Huh, first time you heard about that. Now apparently the predators aren't being treated right having to wear shock collars that zap them if they get to angry or too scared or to happy...or even to sad...basically if they show to much emotion zap ,so how about you give those folks a place to live where they won't get zapped by making Springfield open to all(animal) predators!.
Reward: Springfield gets a wave of new citizens(and they're money) Bellwether will get slightly annoyed. (Choose this at your own risk).
Reach Out To Military Figures - DC:70
The general was kind enough to give you some of his remaining contacts in the military to reach out to, and while you are not too keen on getting involved with the government, perhaps you could strike a deal with some of these figures?
Reward: Get in contact with figures in the U.S military, unlock new actions.
Advertise Itchy and Scratchy Show - DC:70
Now that you are the proud owner of this decades old cartoon, it's time to focus on making the show great again! To start that, you ought to get the word and promote the show! There is plenty of bad press about toons in general, you have to make people aware that the toons aren't anything like that!
Reward: Promote Itchy and Scratchy show, effectiveness might be reduced because of current toon negativity.
Reach Out To The Zombies - DC:???
So if all the zombies are like The Kaiser and have all their memories and junk then wouldn't they be open to talking? Send someone in to check out the cemetery and actually chat with the zombies to see if they are evil undead out to eat all our brains or just kinda weird guys who can live with the rest of the weirdos in Springfield.
Reward: Communications opened with the zombies, further zombie actions unlocked.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Magically Ward The Cemetery.
Stewardship
Just What Did Burns Own? - DC
ariable.
Man, Burn's vault is insanely big, you can believe so much stuff fits in here, and that's not considering other hidden things Burns may have! Taking stock of all of this is important! Who knows what you will find?
Rewards: Knowledge of what burns actually owned, Chances to obtain items and even more income. Possibly more actions unlocked
Establishing Smuggling Operations - DC:65 (MAFIA ACTION)
Illicit trade has taken a massive downturn since the dome; nothing could get out and nobody dared going in with the frankly ludicrous amount of armed guards. Bringing it back would get the mob's blood pumping and help it get back on its feet.
Reward: Fat Tony Mafia's business reestablished, Income gain.
Look Into Expanding Your Business. - DC:60
So far your company only supplies Springfield with energy: why not see if anyone nearby is willing to have you build a plant for them? They get cheap energy at low costs, you get more money! Win-win situation right?
Rewards: Action to build the power plants near the cities, increase in public opinion, increase of more income once more reactors are built.
Pay Your Damn Taxes - DC:45
Turns out Burns' company has spent so long not paying it's taxes that the IRS is actively suspicious of your attempts to do so. You should probably do it anyway…
Reward: The IRS will not hate you as much, you may gain income from tax returns depending on how well you roll
Engage in Seaside Trade - DCariable (The higher the better)
With the docks up and running, that means a few old seadogs are coming to sell their wares. Maybe you will find something useful!
Reward: Possible new business opportunities unlocked.
A Bigger Mini Mall. - DC:35 (Cost 1 income)
So you've gotten word that Shelbyvilles Building up its business, financial, and shopping areas, including a new mini mall. How about you spend some money building up Springfield's own districts to show shelbyville whos boss...oh and while you're at it, you'll build an even bigger mini-mall too!
Rewards: Springfield outshines Shelbyville and gets a new (and bigger than Shelbyville's) mini mall!...oh and Springfield also gets more money and tourism as a result of the new stores.
All That Shines Is Gold Now. - DC:45 (COST 6 INCOME!)
You'd think the streets were paved with gold,now after jogging your memory for a bit you've remembered when Springfield used to be a city on the growth. Back when the old aqua-car factory was up and running and when half the country wore Springfield galoshes, back then people acted like the streets were paved with gold mostly cause they were!
So why don't you bring back at least some of Springfields glory days by repaving the streets with gold once more!? Now this will be expensive, no doubt about it but it would at least bring back memories of Springfields glory days and perhaps even a little bit of that old pride that Springfield used to have.
Rewards: Springfields streets are repaved with gold! Big Tourism increases along with an increase in town pride (Relationship status goes up another rank), slight increase in car accidents.
Organize A Concert - DC:35 (Cost 2 income)
The mood of the city seems still down nowadays. Even though people seem happy to finally get rid of the Dome, things haven't gotten fully back to normal yet. Perhaps hiring some people to do a big concert would cheer them up?
Rewards: Abe organizes a concert for the whole city. Springfield citizens' mood and opinion towards Abe increases. Small increase in income once for next income turn gain.
This action Synergizes with We're Having A Party! If both actions are taken in the same turn, it only counts as 1 action but has the combined DC and Cost of both. Only 1 hero can be assigned to the Synergized action
Man's Greatest Frenemy The Sun! - DC:55 (Cost 1 income)
Recently Lisa has asked you to help the environment and/or undo the damage Burns had done to it over the years, and this has given you an idea involving Burns sun blocker.
Now you know the thing was made for evil but what if you used it as a giant solar panel; it helps the environment, springfield, and might even piss off burns as a cherry on top!
Reward: Massive sun blocker repurposed. Citizens of Springfield enjoy free solar energy turned electricity. Lisa's opinion of you will increase. WARNING: Doing this will reduce your income gain by 1.
Renovate The Springfield Retirement Castle. - DC:15
So long suckers! Now that you got Burns big ass mansion on your name you don't have to spend a single second inside the place!...Though you feel a little bad for the other residents, that place was horrible…would it hurt to give a little parting gift to them?
Reward: Springfield retirement castle is renovated, increasing the opinion of people about Abe.
Build Lemon farms (Or the "Go suck a lemon shelbyville!" Action) - DC:20
So apparently the USA is having a food shortage due to the dust bowl and Springfields neighbor city shelbyville Is taking advantage of this fact by making money by selling beet juice of all things!
So why doesn't Springfield shows Shelbyville how it's done by starting our own lemon farms and giving the USA a much better juice choice then shelbyvilles` disgusting beet juice.
Rewards: Begin construction of lemon farms. Options to begin selling them. Springfield shows up and annoys shelbyville!...oh and also gets some money and reputation but that's not as important.
Buy La Maison Derrière - DC:35
Oh you remember this place! Lots of people used to go there before, including you! Currently it has gone through some hard times thanks to the dome, but seems like an interesting place to buy!
Reward: Become the owner of La Mansion Derrière, increase income gain, unlock new actions.
(Mafia Action) Restart Sweatshop Operations - DC:85:
You promised Fat Tony the chance to take over Mr. Black's operation, so that's what you will do! You will need to handle all the logistics of this to do that, getting new workers, renewing the contracts, start producing the items, but once that's done you will start getting some dough!
Reward: Fat Tony's mafia gains a sweatshop operation, Fat Tony loyalty up, increase income gain.
Reopen Simpson Laser Tag - DC:45
You used to run a Laser tag business. It shut down like alot of your ventures over the years, but you still own the building and considering your newfound popularity, you could more easily market it now!
Reward: Reopen your laser tag business, increased income, increased opinion amongst the youth
Start Selling Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Again - DC:60
From what you recall, this stuff actually worked REALLY well, moreso failing due to poor advertising than ineffectiveness. You figure what's the worst that could happen?
Reward: Start Selling Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Again, gain income.
Healthy House And Home - DC:Autopass (Cost 1 Income to set up and 1 Income Per Turn)
Living in the Retirement Castle might have been terrible but you had to admit that having a roof over your head is something you never worried about since you returned from the war. Some of your employees can't say the same. You're gonna fix that, you're gonna fix that right now AND throw in healthcare and dental!
Reward: All your employees are given places to live on the company's dime (those that have homes are given a generous bonus for any remodels and repairs) so people stop sleeping on Flander's couch and a fantastic health and dental package. Opinion increases from all employees and increases the hero roster by 5.
Make More Content of Itchy and Scratchy - DC:40
No new seasons of the show had been made in some time, just reruns have been broadcasted since the dome incident, we'll time to change that!
Reward: Make more content for the show, kids will love this. Current violent show has reduced effectiveness.
Make Brand New Content For The Show? - DC:90
You have heard how that Doom guy talks about Toons being too dangerous for society and you think…maybe this show is a bit too bloody and that it proves his point? Asking the Toons if they can maybe change a bit of their usual routine and make it more friendly could make people see how Toons aren't bad at all?
Reward: New more kid friendly content out, people won't comment on how violent the show is, increases the fame of the show.
Merchandising Baby! - DC:40
Krusty is more popular than ever and he loves to slap his name on everything from toys, to burgers, to that camp where your grandkids were used as sweatshop workers. Maybe you should handle the merchandising for the show while Krusty hits people with pies. Also while the Itchy & Scratchy show might not be as popular as before, there seems to actually be a demand for these weird... Frinko Pups? Some sorta action figure and they want Itchy and Scratchy. Seems like a good deal.
Reward: Gain Income and promote both Krusty and Itchy & Scratchy Show! Income gain is based on popularity of shows.
Original Programming - DCariable (The Higher The Better)
Now that you've got a foothold in the entertainment market, several of your employees have come forward with ideas for original programming that you could produce. Hear them out and then decide if any of these are actually worth moving forward with.
Reward: Option to create original programming based on the suggestions and ideas of your Hero units.
Advertise Powell Motors - DC:35
You're an investor in your son's business now so how about you try and get the word out that Powell Motors is the best in the business! Newspaper, Radio, Telegram, and even some internet ads (Lena told you they'd help the most, but you're not sure) to bring in some more business for Herb!
Reward: Promote Powell Motors, increasing Income from the business and gaining more attention.
We're Having A Party! - DC:45 (Costs 1 Income) [This Action Is Only Available This Turn]
Hard to believe it's only been a year since you took over the plant, so much has changed and so many people have come into your life. You really need to give back to everyone and a big ass party is just the way to do it! Food, music, games, the whole shebang to ring in the new year!
Reward: Increased Opinion from all your employees as they feel appreciated. Chance to speak to many of your workers and for their families to mingle.
This action Synergizes with Organize a Concert. If both actions are taken in the same turn, it only counts as 1 action but has the combined DC and Cost of both. Only 1 hero can be assigned to the Synergized action.
Note: The theme and feel of the party will change depending on which hero unit you assign to help the action. Moe's party will be different, than Hunter's, which will differ from Jasper's
Move All The Bodies From The Cemetery Somewhere Else - DC:60
Bodies keep crawling out of the ground of the cemetery and standing back up, so what if you took all the bodies from the cemetery and moved them somewhere else? Then they won't stand up and you'll only need to deal with the zombies you've already got! (Probably)
Reward: All non-zombie corpses will be removed from the Springfield Cemetery and brought somewhere else, hopefully preventing new zombies from emerging.
ariable.Man, Burn's vault is insanely big, you can believe so much stuff fits in here, and that's not considering other hidden things Burns may have! Taking stock of all of this is important! Who knows what you will find?
Rewards: Knowledge of what burns actually owned, Chances to obtain items and even more income. Possibly more actions unlocked
Establishing Smuggling Operations - DC:65 (MAFIA ACTION)
Illicit trade has taken a massive downturn since the dome; nothing could get out and nobody dared going in with the frankly ludicrous amount of armed guards. Bringing it back would get the mob's blood pumping and help it get back on its feet.
Reward: Fat Tony Mafia's business reestablished, Income gain.
Look Into Expanding Your Business. - DC:60
So far your company only supplies Springfield with energy: why not see if anyone nearby is willing to have you build a plant for them? They get cheap energy at low costs, you get more money! Win-win situation right?
Rewards: Action to build the power plants near the cities, increase in public opinion, increase of more income once more reactors are built.
Pay Your Damn Taxes - DC:45
Turns out Burns' company has spent so long not paying it's taxes that the IRS is actively suspicious of your attempts to do so. You should probably do it anyway…
Reward: The IRS will not hate you as much, you may gain income from tax returns depending on how well you roll
Engage in Seaside Trade - DC
ariable (The higher the better)With the docks up and running, that means a few old seadogs are coming to sell their wares. Maybe you will find something useful!
Reward: Possible new business opportunities unlocked.
A Bigger Mini Mall. - DC:35 (Cost 1 income)
So you've gotten word that Shelbyvilles Building up its business, financial, and shopping areas, including a new mini mall. How about you spend some money building up Springfield's own districts to show shelbyville whos boss...oh and while you're at it, you'll build an even bigger mini-mall too!
Rewards: Springfield outshines Shelbyville and gets a new (and bigger than Shelbyville's) mini mall!...oh and Springfield also gets more money and tourism as a result of the new stores.
All That Shines Is Gold Now. - DC:45 (COST 6 INCOME!)
You'd think the streets were paved with gold,now after jogging your memory for a bit you've remembered when Springfield used to be a city on the growth. Back when the old aqua-car factory was up and running and when half the country wore Springfield galoshes, back then people acted like the streets were paved with gold mostly cause they were!
So why don't you bring back at least some of Springfields glory days by repaving the streets with gold once more!? Now this will be expensive, no doubt about it but it would at least bring back memories of Springfields glory days and perhaps even a little bit of that old pride that Springfield used to have.
Rewards: Springfields streets are repaved with gold! Big Tourism increases along with an increase in town pride (Relationship status goes up another rank), slight increase in car accidents.
Organize A Concert - DC:35 (Cost 2 income)
The mood of the city seems still down nowadays. Even though people seem happy to finally get rid of the Dome, things haven't gotten fully back to normal yet. Perhaps hiring some people to do a big concert would cheer them up?
Rewards: Abe organizes a concert for the whole city. Springfield citizens' mood and opinion towards Abe increases. Small increase in income once for next income turn gain.
This action Synergizes with We're Having A Party! If both actions are taken in the same turn, it only counts as 1 action but has the combined DC and Cost of both. Only 1 hero can be assigned to the Synergized action
Man's Greatest Frenemy The Sun! - DC:55 (Cost 1 income)
Recently Lisa has asked you to help the environment and/or undo the damage Burns had done to it over the years, and this has given you an idea involving Burns sun blocker.
Now you know the thing was made for evil but what if you used it as a giant solar panel; it helps the environment, springfield, and might even piss off burns as a cherry on top!
Reward: Massive sun blocker repurposed. Citizens of Springfield enjoy free solar energy turned electricity. Lisa's opinion of you will increase. WARNING: Doing this will reduce your income gain by 1.
Renovate The Springfield Retirement Castle. - DC:15
So long suckers! Now that you got Burns big ass mansion on your name you don't have to spend a single second inside the place!...Though you feel a little bad for the other residents, that place was horrible…would it hurt to give a little parting gift to them?
Reward: Springfield retirement castle is renovated, increasing the opinion of people about Abe.
Build Lemon farms (Or the "Go suck a lemon shelbyville!" Action) - DC:20
So apparently the USA is having a food shortage due to the dust bowl and Springfields neighbor city shelbyville Is taking advantage of this fact by making money by selling beet juice of all things!
So why doesn't Springfield shows Shelbyville how it's done by starting our own lemon farms and giving the USA a much better juice choice then shelbyvilles` disgusting beet juice.
Rewards: Begin construction of lemon farms. Options to begin selling them. Springfield shows up and annoys shelbyville!...oh and also gets some money and reputation but that's not as important.
Buy La Maison Derrière - DC:35
Oh you remember this place! Lots of people used to go there before, including you! Currently it has gone through some hard times thanks to the dome, but seems like an interesting place to buy!
Reward: Become the owner of La Mansion Derrière, increase income gain, unlock new actions.
(Mafia Action) Restart Sweatshop Operations - DC:85:
You promised Fat Tony the chance to take over Mr. Black's operation, so that's what you will do! You will need to handle all the logistics of this to do that, getting new workers, renewing the contracts, start producing the items, but once that's done you will start getting some dough!
Reward: Fat Tony's mafia gains a sweatshop operation, Fat Tony loyalty up, increase income gain.
Reopen Simpson Laser Tag - DC:45
You used to run a Laser tag business. It shut down like alot of your ventures over the years, but you still own the building and considering your newfound popularity, you could more easily market it now!
Reward: Reopen your laser tag business, increased income, increased opinion amongst the youth
Start Selling Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Again - DC:60
From what you recall, this stuff actually worked REALLY well, moreso failing due to poor advertising than ineffectiveness. You figure what's the worst that could happen?
Reward: Start Selling Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Again, gain income.
Healthy House And Home - DC:Autopass (Cost 1 Income to set up and 1 Income Per Turn)
Living in the Retirement Castle might have been terrible but you had to admit that having a roof over your head is something you never worried about since you returned from the war. Some of your employees can't say the same. You're gonna fix that, you're gonna fix that right now AND throw in healthcare and dental!
Reward: All your employees are given places to live on the company's dime (those that have homes are given a generous bonus for any remodels and repairs) so people stop sleeping on Flander's couch and a fantastic health and dental package. Opinion increases from all employees and increases the hero roster by 5.
Make More Content of Itchy and Scratchy - DC:40
No new seasons of the show had been made in some time, just reruns have been broadcasted since the dome incident, we'll time to change that!
Reward: Make more content for the show, kids will love this. Current violent show has reduced effectiveness.
Make Brand New Content For The Show? - DC:90
You have heard how that Doom guy talks about Toons being too dangerous for society and you think…maybe this show is a bit too bloody and that it proves his point? Asking the Toons if they can maybe change a bit of their usual routine and make it more friendly could make people see how Toons aren't bad at all?
Reward: New more kid friendly content out, people won't comment on how violent the show is, increases the fame of the show.
Merchandising Baby! - DC:40
Krusty is more popular than ever and he loves to slap his name on everything from toys, to burgers, to that camp where your grandkids were used as sweatshop workers. Maybe you should handle the merchandising for the show while Krusty hits people with pies. Also while the Itchy & Scratchy show might not be as popular as before, there seems to actually be a demand for these weird... Frinko Pups? Some sorta action figure and they want Itchy and Scratchy. Seems like a good deal.
Reward: Gain Income and promote both Krusty and Itchy & Scratchy Show! Income gain is based on popularity of shows.
Original Programming - DC
ariable (The Higher The Better)Now that you've got a foothold in the entertainment market, several of your employees have come forward with ideas for original programming that you could produce. Hear them out and then decide if any of these are actually worth moving forward with.
Reward: Option to create original programming based on the suggestions and ideas of your Hero units.
Advertise Powell Motors - DC:35
You're an investor in your son's business now so how about you try and get the word out that Powell Motors is the best in the business! Newspaper, Radio, Telegram, and even some internet ads (Lena told you they'd help the most, but you're not sure) to bring in some more business for Herb!
Reward: Promote Powell Motors, increasing Income from the business and gaining more attention.
We're Having A Party! - DC:45 (Costs 1 Income) [This Action Is Only Available This Turn]
Hard to believe it's only been a year since you took over the plant, so much has changed and so many people have come into your life. You really need to give back to everyone and a big ass party is just the way to do it! Food, music, games, the whole shebang to ring in the new year!
Reward: Increased Opinion from all your employees as they feel appreciated. Chance to speak to many of your workers and for their families to mingle.
This action Synergizes with Organize a Concert. If both actions are taken in the same turn, it only counts as 1 action but has the combined DC and Cost of both. Only 1 hero can be assigned to the Synergized action.
Note: The theme and feel of the party will change depending on which hero unit you assign to help the action. Moe's party will be different, than Hunter's, which will differ from Jasper's
Move All The Bodies From The Cemetery Somewhere Else - DC:60
Bodies keep crawling out of the ground of the cemetery and standing back up, so what if you took all the bodies from the cemetery and moved them somewhere else? Then they won't stand up and you'll only need to deal with the zombies you've already got! (Probably)
Reward: All non-zombie corpses will be removed from the Springfield Cemetery and brought somewhere else, hopefully preventing new zombies from emerging.
Intrigue
Infiltration actions
Dc to infiltrate a Kings territory
New York: DC:80
Doofainia: DC:70
Middleton: DC:80
Kronos: DC:60 (70 if the Hero assigned is a cape)
Zootopia: DC:45
Calisota: DC:50
Inventco: DC:60
Cloverleaf: DC:45 (65 if the assigned hero is a toon)
Set Up Some Patrols In Springfield. - DC:50 (Cost 1 Income)
Now that you apparently own most of Springfield, you think that would be ideal to set some surveillance on the city? With Burns and Side Show running free and who knows who else is currently in your city you need to keep a more open eye on your backyard.
Reward: Patrols set in Springfield. DC to infiltrate the city raises by 10. Chances of Increased DC for actions for people or factions hiding in your territory.
Look Further Into The Mysterious Group - DC:65/75/100 (Tiered results)
Jasper's old friend the Finale is reaching out to you to help him look more into this mysterious mercenary group he has encountered. He nor you have much to go in except this mysterious insignia he found on one of their bases. You have no idea what sort of rabbit hole this could led to…not that you mind too much.
Reward: find out more about this mysterious group, increase in opinion score for the Finale, ???
Search for Burns. - DC:Opposed intrigue roll against Burns
Burns has gone to ground again after you captured half of the Burns Six. You don't know what he is planning but your gut tells you that you need to catch that snake in the grass soon or he might just feel like he's not got anything left to lose…
Reward: Find Burn's new hideout and potentially discover his plans. Further action possibly unlocked to intervene/act more.
Research Her - DC:30
Burns has acquired a new hero unit who it turns out is a redheaded child with enough might to beat up an army of hillbillies and the undead Kaiser Wilhelm. She is the last thing stopping you from getting to Burns, maybe it's worth it to look into just who she is, if she has any weaknesses, and just where the hell this girl's parents are.
Reward: Information on Her, potential useful information to counter Her, finding out where she comes from and who her parents are.
Hunt Down The EPA Agent - DC:50/80
You're not 100% sure this is that so-and-so from the dome, but you and The EPA ain't exactly on good terms no matter what and if it is him... well you're sure that the rest of Springfield would love to have a Fat Tony style "small chat" with him.
Track him down like the dog he is and then haul his ass back to Springfield because since you're the one finding him, you absolutely are first in line to get your licks in.
Reward: Track down or capture the rogue EPA agent and potentially bring him back to Springfield for some good old fashion mob justice and then maybe legal consequences. Massive opinion boost with the Springfield public and all hero units from Springfield.
Leg Day - DC:70
When Senator Legstrong approached you about working together, you can honestly say you never heard of the man, but you never really had to keep track of senators before. Still, if you're going to be working with the guy, maybe you should try and find out more about him and what he supports and opposes.
Reward: Find out more about Senator Legstrong and what ties he has, if any.
Dc to infiltrate a Kings territory
New York: DC:80
Doofainia: DC:70
Middleton: DC:80
Kronos: DC:60 (70 if the Hero assigned is a cape)
Zootopia: DC:45
Calisota: DC:50
Inventco: DC:60
Cloverleaf: DC:45 (65 if the assigned hero is a toon)
Set Up Some Patrols In Springfield. - DC:50 (Cost 1 Income)
Now that you apparently own most of Springfield, you think that would be ideal to set some surveillance on the city? With Burns and Side Show running free and who knows who else is currently in your city you need to keep a more open eye on your backyard.
Reward: Patrols set in Springfield. DC to infiltrate the city raises by 10. Chances of Increased DC for actions for people or factions hiding in your territory.
Look Further Into The Mysterious Group - DC:65/75/100 (Tiered results)
Jasper's old friend the Finale is reaching out to you to help him look more into this mysterious mercenary group he has encountered. He nor you have much to go in except this mysterious insignia he found on one of their bases. You have no idea what sort of rabbit hole this could led to…not that you mind too much.
Reward: find out more about this mysterious group, increase in opinion score for the Finale, ???
Search for Burns. - DC:Opposed intrigue roll against Burns
Burns has gone to ground again after you captured half of the Burns Six. You don't know what he is planning but your gut tells you that you need to catch that snake in the grass soon or he might just feel like he's not got anything left to lose…
Reward: Find Burn's new hideout and potentially discover his plans. Further action possibly unlocked to intervene/act more.
Research Her - DC:30
Burns has acquired a new hero unit who it turns out is a redheaded child with enough might to beat up an army of hillbillies and the undead Kaiser Wilhelm. She is the last thing stopping you from getting to Burns, maybe it's worth it to look into just who she is, if she has any weaknesses, and just where the hell this girl's parents are.
Reward: Information on Her, potential useful information to counter Her, finding out where she comes from and who her parents are.
Hunt Down The EPA Agent - DC:50/80
You're not 100% sure this is that so-and-so from the dome, but you and The EPA ain't exactly on good terms no matter what and if it is him... well you're sure that the rest of Springfield would love to have a Fat Tony style "small chat" with him.
Track him down like the dog he is and then haul his ass back to Springfield because since you're the one finding him, you absolutely are first in line to get your licks in.
Reward: Track down or capture the rogue EPA agent and potentially bring him back to Springfield for some good old fashion mob justice and then maybe legal consequences. Massive opinion boost with the Springfield public and all hero units from Springfield.
Leg Day - DC:70
When Senator Legstrong approached you about working together, you can honestly say you never heard of the man, but you never really had to keep track of senators before. Still, if you're going to be working with the guy, maybe you should try and find out more about him and what he supports and opposes.
Reward: Find out more about Senator Legstrong and what ties he has, if any.
Learning
Study Maps Of The Lands/Areas Near You - DC:35
Hmmmmm... You never know when you might have to visit nearby areas, you know? Better safe than sorry In case such a visit is necessary...
Reward: Have a better grasp of the geography of various areas around you. Learn about interesting locations.
Lo! Back-around steel!- DC:130
You are mad that ww2 Era ships and submarines keep getting torn apart for scrap. Apparently steel forged after the first Atom bomb is bad for MRI machines. You own a nuclear plant, that's gotta be in our wheelhouse somewhere! Right?
Rewards: [Find a way to de-radiate modern steel], massive income gain from concerned parties, improved detection equipment, a hand in preserving military history.
The Power Of The Sun! - DC:70
So your eggheads have told you that just strapping a frankly ridiculous amount of solar panels to the sun blocker isn't the most efficient way to harness power and that there has to be a better way. Well let's see what they come up with. That's what you are paying them for.
Reward: the sunblocker is turned into a proper giant solar panel, renamed the sun catcher! Reduced DC for action "Man's greatest frenemy the sun" if not done yet, If done, unlocks option to upgrade the Sun Blocker. Unlocks the option to build more of them and sell to people.
Nuclear Neotypes 1: Nuclear Waste's Potential - DC:100.
Now that you've got a veritable zoo of mutants (zootants perhaps?) to study, its time to see what makes them tick. It's a metaphor Larry…put the Geiger counter away.
Reward: Learn more about the animals' mutations. Unlocks atomic mutations research tree.
Study The Freaky Fish Guy Mutant (Gill) - DC:90
That fish mutant caused you and your workers lots of trouble back there in the Kamp, how the hell was he so freaking strong?! Apparently, he was once human and somehow became like this? You don't understand a lot of it, but you have a feeling your lab coats can figure it out, who knows you might learn something useful? Reward: Learn more about Gill's mutations, unlock new actions.
Research the Tonics - DC:70
... Admittedly, a few eggheads have pointed out a tonic this incredibly potent might cause problems if misused. Guess you should look into it.
Reward: Make a still usable but less potent version of Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic, gain income once you start selling it
Develop New Models to Sell - DC:40/70/100
You've never made a car before but how hard can it be, it's not rocket science right? Now what if we added *another wheel*? Attempt to develop a new model of car or potentially even make a novel innovation to the car market.
Reward: Increased Income from Powell Motors and unlock new automotive actions.
Research Fusion Power - DC:120
Apparently, Fusion power is the nirvana of energy production, or so they say. Being able to harness it would put your name and Springfield on the first page of all newspapers. It shouldn't be too hard to do this right?
Reward: unlock action to develop fusion power
Hmmmmm... You never know when you might have to visit nearby areas, you know? Better safe than sorry In case such a visit is necessary...
Reward: Have a better grasp of the geography of various areas around you. Learn about interesting locations.
Lo! Back-around steel!- DC:130
You are mad that ww2 Era ships and submarines keep getting torn apart for scrap. Apparently steel forged after the first Atom bomb is bad for MRI machines. You own a nuclear plant, that's gotta be in our wheelhouse somewhere! Right?
Rewards: [Find a way to de-radiate modern steel], massive income gain from concerned parties, improved detection equipment, a hand in preserving military history.
The Power Of The Sun! - DC:70
So your eggheads have told you that just strapping a frankly ridiculous amount of solar panels to the sun blocker isn't the most efficient way to harness power and that there has to be a better way. Well let's see what they come up with. That's what you are paying them for.
Reward: the sunblocker is turned into a proper giant solar panel, renamed the sun catcher! Reduced DC for action "Man's greatest frenemy the sun" if not done yet, If done, unlocks option to upgrade the Sun Blocker. Unlocks the option to build more of them and sell to people.
Nuclear Neotypes 1: Nuclear Waste's Potential - DC:100.
Now that you've got a veritable zoo of mutants (zootants perhaps?) to study, its time to see what makes them tick. It's a metaphor Larry…put the Geiger counter away.
Reward: Learn more about the animals' mutations. Unlocks atomic mutations research tree.
Study The Freaky Fish Guy Mutant (Gill) - DC:90
That fish mutant caused you and your workers lots of trouble back there in the Kamp, how the hell was he so freaking strong?! Apparently, he was once human and somehow became like this? You don't understand a lot of it, but you have a feeling your lab coats can figure it out, who knows you might learn something useful? Reward: Learn more about Gill's mutations, unlock new actions.
Research the Tonics - DC:70
... Admittedly, a few eggheads have pointed out a tonic this incredibly potent might cause problems if misused. Guess you should look into it.
Reward: Make a still usable but less potent version of Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic, gain income once you start selling it
Develop New Models to Sell - DC:40/70/100
You've never made a car before but how hard can it be, it's not rocket science right? Now what if we added *another wheel*? Attempt to develop a new model of car or potentially even make a novel innovation to the car market.
Reward: Increased Income from Powell Motors and unlock new automotive actions.
Research Fusion Power - DC:120
Apparently, Fusion power is the nirvana of energy production, or so they say. Being able to harness it would put your name and Springfield on the first page of all newspapers. It shouldn't be too hard to do this right?
Reward: unlock action to develop fusion power
Occult
Bless Springfield - DC:80. (Cost 2 Income)
At the urgency of Ned you started looking for ways to have a high member of the church come and bless the grounds of Springfield. This should help ward off demonic influences, or something like that, if Ned rambling is correct.
Reward: Demonic entities have to pass a high DC to enter the city, and the ones that do suffer minor debuffs while staying within the city limits.
Try To Find Magical Items On The Interweb - DCaries. (Cost: Varies depending on roll and items offered.)
You should probably see if you can acquire some magical items off the Interweb, Thankfully you're now rich so money shouldn't be to much of a problem. What will be a problem is making sure the hokey doohickey you get is actually magical. You just have to make sure you aren't being ripped off.
Rewards: The higher the roll the better the items available to purchase,some items may unlock adventures.
Look for Magic Tomes - DC:60. (Cost 1 income)
Apparently, magic is real. That's swell! Your head lab coat Frink managed to somehow stumble into a magic book on his own. In the children's school no less!!! That means that more magic books could be out there, just waiting for you to grab them. If you find some cool books, maybe you can learn more about magic!
Rewards: Gain magic tomes that can be used to increase Occult stat of occult focused units and unlock new Occult National actions depending on roll, ???.
Hold a Séance - DC:65. It somewhat goes against Flanders' sensibilities, but you have seen enough craziness that you honestly wouldn't doubt the existence of ghosts. Maybe something neat will happen?
Reward: Hold a séance. If successful will summon the ghost of a deceased character at random, with further results varying on how well you rolled and who is ultimately summoned.
Study That Strange Amulet - DC:60
That amulet the sea captain gave you is certainly interesting. You feel some further investigation is in order, just to be safe...
Reward: Gain more information about the strange amulet.
Raise Free Willed Lesser Undead - DCariable
So you've gotten an idea on how this whole Necromancy stuff works, now you can really put it into practice. Summon up some undead completely on purpose and not accidentally and make sure they actually remember who they are.
Reward: Whatever undead you raise and further Necromancy actions unlocked
Raise Controlled Lesser Undead - DCariable
So you've gotten an idea on how this whole Necromancy stuff works, now you can really put it into practice. Summon up some undead completely on purpose and not accidentally and make sure they are under your control.
Reward: Whatever undead you raise and further Necromancy actions unlocked
Occult - Magically Ward The Cemetery - DC:75
You gotta make sure those zombies stay put and Crumbs has said that a magic barrier to keep the undead in shouldn't actually be too complex, but that its a lot like lifting an engine block. Simple, but you're gonna need a lotta power to do it.
Reward: The Cemetery is warded completely, preventing any of the zombies leaving it without the say so of you or one of your wizards.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Reach Out To The Zombies
At the urgency of Ned you started looking for ways to have a high member of the church come and bless the grounds of Springfield. This should help ward off demonic influences, or something like that, if Ned rambling is correct.
Reward: Demonic entities have to pass a high DC to enter the city, and the ones that do suffer minor debuffs while staying within the city limits.
Try To Find Magical Items On The Interweb - DC
aries. (Cost: Varies depending on roll and items offered.)You should probably see if you can acquire some magical items off the Interweb, Thankfully you're now rich so money shouldn't be to much of a problem. What will be a problem is making sure the hokey doohickey you get is actually magical. You just have to make sure you aren't being ripped off.
Rewards: The higher the roll the better the items available to purchase,some items may unlock adventures.
Look for Magic Tomes - DC:60. (Cost 1 income)
Apparently, magic is real. That's swell! Your head lab coat Frink managed to somehow stumble into a magic book on his own. In the children's school no less!!! That means that more magic books could be out there, just waiting for you to grab them. If you find some cool books, maybe you can learn more about magic!
Rewards: Gain magic tomes that can be used to increase Occult stat of occult focused units and unlock new Occult National actions depending on roll, ???.
Hold a Séance - DC:65. It somewhat goes against Flanders' sensibilities, but you have seen enough craziness that you honestly wouldn't doubt the existence of ghosts. Maybe something neat will happen?
Reward: Hold a séance. If successful will summon the ghost of a deceased character at random, with further results varying on how well you rolled and who is ultimately summoned.
Study That Strange Amulet - DC:60
That amulet the sea captain gave you is certainly interesting. You feel some further investigation is in order, just to be safe...
Reward: Gain more information about the strange amulet.
Raise Free Willed Lesser Undead - DC
ariableSo you've gotten an idea on how this whole Necromancy stuff works, now you can really put it into practice. Summon up some undead completely on purpose and not accidentally and make sure they actually remember who they are.
- Zombie DC30 - Huh, this is actually pretty easy. Weird that these ones don't seem as durable as the ones from the cemetery though.
- Skeleton DC60 - Well that sure is a walking talking skeleton alright. It actually seems tougher than the zombies you can make for some reason, though still waaaay weaker than the ones from the cemetery.
Reward: Whatever undead you raise and further Necromancy actions unlocked
Raise Controlled Lesser Undead - DC
ariableSo you've gotten an idea on how this whole Necromancy stuff works, now you can really put it into practice. Summon up some undead completely on purpose and not accidentally and make sure they are under your control.
- Zombie DC30 - Huh, this is actually pretty easy. Weird that these ones don't seem as durable as the ones from the cemetery though.
- Skeleton DC60 - Well that sure is a walking talking skeleton alright. It actually seems tougher than the zombies you can make for some reason, though still waaaay weaker than the ones from the cemetery.
Reward: Whatever undead you raise and further Necromancy actions unlocked
Occult - Magically Ward The Cemetery - DC:75
You gotta make sure those zombies stay put and Crumbs has said that a magic barrier to keep the undead in shouldn't actually be too complex, but that its a lot like lifting an engine block. Simple, but you're gonna need a lotta power to do it.
Reward: The Cemetery is warded completely, preventing any of the zombies leaving it without the say so of you or one of your wizards.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Reach Out To The Zombies
Personals
Jog your memory. You lived a looong life, and you have certainly see more things that other people have. You just… don't remember it right now. Maybe spending some time thinking about it could help you remember something useful? …What were you thinking of again?
Reward: Chances to unlock new actions, national or personal.
Hit them books. Suppose now would be a good time as any to read some of the books that your granddaughter Lisa has gifted you for your birthdays. There's lots of info you could glean from them.
Rewards: need to take this action 3 times, once taken gain 1d3+1 Learning. (1/3 times)
Hang out with your elders. Even though being the boss of Springfield Nucler Power Plant has occupied much of your time you should give yourself some time to spend with your friends in the retirement home.
Rewards: Abe hangs out with the elders, chance to learn info about things going on in the town or interesting tidbits of info.
Abe: Ask another Simpson Family member to help you out.
Now that you have started to make amends with your son and Mona, perhaps you could try to ask their help, and a chance to hang out a bit with them?
Reward: a 1d3 is rolled and depending the result, a certain Simpson is automatically unlocked as a temporary hero unit ((1) Marge 2) Bart 3) Lisa.) for next turn, and in exchange, Abe need to spend next turn using a personal and pick "Hang out with a coworker" and choose the rolled Simpson unit.
Hang out with one of your workers. Perhaps you could use some of your free time trying to get to know one of your workers. Who knows what kind of stuff you may find out! (Can be taken multiple times a turn)
Reward: you get to know one of your hero units better, chance of increased opinion, chance to unlock actions related to the hero. ???
Go look for a fashion designer. Clothes maketh the man. That's something you hear in Tv once and it might have a grain of salt on it. Your wardrobe is nothing to talk home about. Let's do something about it.
Reward: Abe gets a Damn nice suit (costs 1 income). Chances to meet ???
Play Poker: Playing cards is how you got into this mess... But it's just too much fun!
Reward: Abe plays Poker with a random group of people. He may gain or lose income depending on the Roll.
Figure out this damn control panel: Burn's had a lot of weird buttons on this thing. You might as well see what they do before you press something you shouldn't
Reward: Office adds defense against attacks made against the Power Plant, stewardship bonus for some actions.
A test of your own medicine 2: alright, it'll take a while, but you think You've found a list of medicines that'll be at least close to what you want
Reward: Abe goes and buys actual quality medicine, chances for possible Stat ups! (Learning, stewardship or martial +1)(-5 from a previous failure)
Is this my beautiful house?: Geez this mansion is huge! What the hell are you gonna do with it all? And what kind of rooms did he think he needed?
Reward: better house awareness, very small bonus to next turn's/next 4 personal actions. Chances to find some weird rooms?
Hire someone for the power plant (Can only be taken once per turn):
Current heroes units available for hire:
-Snake
-Mina Loveberry
-Probabilitor the Annoying
Hire a Personal Trainer
To say you may have let yourself go is an understatement, sadly. Time to get back in shape!
Reward: Gain a personal Trainer, potential for Martial stat increase
Reward: Chances to unlock new actions, national or personal.
Hit them books. Suppose now would be a good time as any to read some of the books that your granddaughter Lisa has gifted you for your birthdays. There's lots of info you could glean from them.
Rewards: need to take this action 3 times, once taken gain 1d3+1 Learning. (1/3 times)
Hang out with your elders. Even though being the boss of Springfield Nucler Power Plant has occupied much of your time you should give yourself some time to spend with your friends in the retirement home.
Rewards: Abe hangs out with the elders, chance to learn info about things going on in the town or interesting tidbits of info.
Abe: Ask another Simpson Family member to help you out.
Now that you have started to make amends with your son and Mona, perhaps you could try to ask their help, and a chance to hang out a bit with them?
Reward: a 1d3 is rolled and depending the result, a certain Simpson is automatically unlocked as a temporary hero unit ((1) Marge 2) Bart 3) Lisa.) for next turn, and in exchange, Abe need to spend next turn using a personal and pick "Hang out with a coworker" and choose the rolled Simpson unit.
Hang out with one of your workers. Perhaps you could use some of your free time trying to get to know one of your workers. Who knows what kind of stuff you may find out! (Can be taken multiple times a turn)
Reward: you get to know one of your hero units better, chance of increased opinion, chance to unlock actions related to the hero. ???
Go look for a fashion designer. Clothes maketh the man. That's something you hear in Tv once and it might have a grain of salt on it. Your wardrobe is nothing to talk home about. Let's do something about it.
Reward: Abe gets a Damn nice suit (costs 1 income). Chances to meet ???
Play Poker: Playing cards is how you got into this mess... But it's just too much fun!
Reward: Abe plays Poker with a random group of people. He may gain or lose income depending on the Roll.
Figure out this damn control panel: Burn's had a lot of weird buttons on this thing. You might as well see what they do before you press something you shouldn't
Reward: Office adds defense against attacks made against the Power Plant, stewardship bonus for some actions.
A test of your own medicine 2: alright, it'll take a while, but you think You've found a list of medicines that'll be at least close to what you want
Reward: Abe goes and buys actual quality medicine, chances for possible Stat ups! (Learning, stewardship or martial +1)(-5 from a previous failure)
Is this my beautiful house?: Geez this mansion is huge! What the hell are you gonna do with it all? And what kind of rooms did he think he needed?
Reward: better house awareness, very small bonus to next turn's/next 4 personal actions. Chances to find some weird rooms?
Hire someone for the power plant (Can only be taken once per turn):
Current heroes units available for hire:
-Snake
-Mina Loveberry
-Probabilitor the Annoying
Hire a Personal Trainer
To say you may have let yourself go is an understatement, sadly. Time to get back in shape!
Reward: Gain a personal Trainer, potential for Martial stat increase
Spend some time with your sons. Just because you have more… "interesting job" there's no reason to spend more time with your family! You better check on Your kids now that you have some time.
Reward: Flanders spends some time with his sons. Chances to raise opinions of Abe.
Go to Church: Nothing like going to the church and feeling in contact with the Lord! After the Dome incident ended more people seemed to go to church! And you know how people like to blab in those places. Perhaps you could get some interesting tidbits?
Reward: Chances to meet new people and learn some interesting information.
Go to the Gym: Now that you have some free time perhaps you could spend it on the gym. It seems working for Abe might be a bit more physically demanding than your other jobs. Better make sure your muscles are up to the task!
Reward: Martial Stat gain if rolled high enough
Set up a Hang Out Session: You have kids. Camila has kids. Only seems right they meet up. Even if things don't fully work out, you hope the two of you can stay friends after all.
Reward: Flanders sets up Rodd and Todd to hang out with a member of the Hexsquad (decided by a 1d6), further bonding with Camila
Meet the New Family: Oh hey, you had new neighbors in that old other house next to the Simpsons. You should say hi! Especially Since the dad seems a little stressed about The Kaiser still…
Reward: Flanders hangs out with Duncan Family, possible +5 to his next assigned action if it goes well enough
Go on a Double Date with Moe: To say you and Moe are friendarinos would be... An exaggeration, but it's not like you hate each other. You are technically co-workers and he's the only one of whom you're aware of who is merely new dating rather than married!
Reward: ???
Reward: Flanders spends some time with his sons. Chances to raise opinions of Abe.
Go to Church: Nothing like going to the church and feeling in contact with the Lord! After the Dome incident ended more people seemed to go to church! And you know how people like to blab in those places. Perhaps you could get some interesting tidbits?
Reward: Chances to meet new people and learn some interesting information.
Go to the Gym: Now that you have some free time perhaps you could spend it on the gym. It seems working for Abe might be a bit more physically demanding than your other jobs. Better make sure your muscles are up to the task!
Reward: Martial Stat gain if rolled high enough
Set up a Hang Out Session: You have kids. Camila has kids. Only seems right they meet up. Even if things don't fully work out, you hope the two of you can stay friends after all.
Reward: Flanders sets up Rodd and Todd to hang out with a member of the Hexsquad (decided by a 1d6), further bonding with Camila
Meet the New Family: Oh hey, you had new neighbors in that old other house next to the Simpsons. You should say hi! Especially Since the dad seems a little stressed about The Kaiser still…
Reward: Flanders hangs out with Duncan Family, possible +5 to his next assigned action if it goes well enough
Go on a Double Date with Moe: To say you and Moe are friendarinos would be... An exaggeration, but it's not like you hate each other. You are technically co-workers and he's the only one of whom you're aware of who is merely new dating rather than married!
Reward: ???
Talk to those Mysterious Hecklers: Those Hecklers were hilarious! Besides, great as Abe, the other castle residents and the Finale are, a few extra connections can't hurt, right?
Meet: ???, Possible Trait unlock
Play chess with abe. Abe has complained that you cheat on Poker all the time. That's not true! You only cheat half the time! Still if he is gonna complain too much perhaps you can beat him in another game.
Reward: Jasper plays chess with abe. Possible stat increase for high enough roll.
Hang out with the Old Jewish Guy: Its been a while since you talked with your old pal. Who knows what's been going on with him.
Reward: Chance to decipher interesting information out of his rambling.
Meet: ???, Possible Trait unlock
Play chess with abe. Abe has complained that you cheat on Poker all the time. That's not true! You only cheat half the time! Still if he is gonna complain too much perhaps you can beat him in another game.
Reward: Jasper plays chess with abe. Possible stat increase for high enough roll.
Hang out with the Old Jewish Guy: Its been a while since you talked with your old pal. Who knows what's been going on with him.
Reward: Chance to decipher interesting information out of his rambling.
Work On One Of Your Inventions. Now that you have an actual lab again, it wouldn't hurt to work on some of your old Projects. Who knows what you will end up creating.
Reward: Frink gets to invent/recreate either one of his old projects or a totally new one.
Spend Some Time Reading The Scientific Forums. It's been a while since you got in touch with the scientific community online. Who knows what kind of info your fellow scientist might share with you. Who knows, maybe this time you will be able to show "BlueGenius" or "THE Doofacious one" why you are more mad scientist than them!!!
Rewards: Chance to unlock more actions, chance to discover learning heroes to recruit.
Reward: Frink gets to invent/recreate either one of his old projects or a totally new one.
Spend Some Time Reading The Scientific Forums. It's been a while since you got in touch with the scientific community online. Who knows what kind of info your fellow scientist might share with you. Who knows, maybe this time you will be able to show "BlueGenius" or "THE Doofacious one" why you are more mad scientist than them!!!
Rewards: Chance to unlock more actions, chance to discover learning heroes to recruit.
Find Your Men (MAFIA action)
Legs. Louie. Johnny Tightlips. They were your best men, which means they had the sense to leave a sinking ship when they could. Perhaps you can convince them to come back now that things are on the upswing.
-[] Find Legs
Reward: different stat and quest bonuses depending on which one you get.
Visit Your Cousin Fit Tony.
It's been awhile since you've seen your identical cousin from San Diego. Perhaps you should go visit him to catch up on old times and to make sure he's not sleeping with the fish.
Reward: Fat tony hangs out with his cousin, chances to learn interesting tidbits of info.
Look For The Don. (MAFIA Action)
After the Dome broke down, no one has seen hide nor hair of him. Some people might think he finally bit it, but you know different.
Reward: Find where the Don is hiding.
Train Your New Minions: (MAFIA Action)
These guys aren't half bad, but they aren't quite up to your standards. Time to fix that.
Reward: Slight increase to the Mob Mentality Trait
Legs. Louie. Johnny Tightlips. They were your best men, which means they had the sense to leave a sinking ship when they could. Perhaps you can convince them to come back now that things are on the upswing.
-[] Find Legs
Reward: different stat and quest bonuses depending on which one you get.
Visit Your Cousin Fit Tony.
It's been awhile since you've seen your identical cousin from San Diego. Perhaps you should go visit him to catch up on old times and to make sure he's not sleeping with the fish.
Reward: Fat tony hangs out with his cousin, chances to learn interesting tidbits of info.
Look For The Don. (MAFIA Action)
After the Dome broke down, no one has seen hide nor hair of him. Some people might think he finally bit it, but you know different.
Reward: Find where the Don is hiding.
Train Your New Minions: (MAFIA Action)
These guys aren't half bad, but they aren't quite up to your standards. Time to fix that.
Reward: Slight increase to the Mob Mentality Trait
Find Out What Happened After Your Death
It has been some time since you're death and the world has changed much in that time, perhaps it's time you fill in the gabs in you're knowledge jah?
(Progress bar 0/100)
Reward: Kaiser catches up on modern history. Learning stat increase of 1+1d3
Get up to date in war tactics.
Apparently there have been a few significant changes to how war is done nowadays. They don't even use horses anymore! How can this be?!
(Progress bar 14/100)
Reward: Kaiser becomes knowledgeable in modern war tactics. Martial stat increase of 1+1d3
Talk to someone about your fear of... Her
There have been lots of talks about this "therapy" thing lately and Tony sent you the number of a supposedly good one. Maybe you can talk to them about your recent scuffle and the dreams you've been having.
Reward: Kaiser begins therapy and hopefully begins processing things. High Rolls may remove his malice against Her
It has been some time since you're death and the world has changed much in that time, perhaps it's time you fill in the gabs in you're knowledge jah?
(Progress bar 0/100)
Reward: Kaiser catches up on modern history. Learning stat increase of 1+1d3
Get up to date in war tactics.
Apparently there have been a few significant changes to how war is done nowadays. They don't even use horses anymore! How can this be?!
(Progress bar 14/100)
Reward: Kaiser becomes knowledgeable in modern war tactics. Martial stat increase of 1+1d3
Talk to someone about your fear of... Her
There have been lots of talks about this "therapy" thing lately and Tony sent you the number of a supposedly good one. Maybe you can talk to them about your recent scuffle and the dreams you've been having.
Reward: Kaiser begins therapy and hopefully begins processing things. High Rolls may remove his malice against Her
Visit the head of Kwik-E-Mart for some lessons: now that you have some free time perhaps you should attempt to get some lessons from the head of kwik-e-mart himself. you just have to go to the first convenience store all the way in India and on top one of the tallest mountains in the whole country...homer was right, that's not very convenient is it?
Reward: Apu gets to talk with the head of kwik-e-mart, chances to gain stat up in Stewardship, ???
Spend time with your octuplets and wife: Apu's kid and wife can be draining sometimes, but they're still his beloved family. He has to make time for them!
Reward: Apu Spends time with his wife and kids, gains gratitude towards Abe
Take a break: Mr Simpson and your wife are really bugging you that you should take more breaks more often. Pfft, Seriously, you are fine, you take plenty of breaks! Last time was… Uh.
Reluctantly, you admit they might have a point.
Reward: Apu takes some time for himself! If rolled high enough, chances to gain small bonuses to Apu's next National he is assigned to!
Reward: Apu gets to talk with the head of kwik-e-mart, chances to gain stat up in Stewardship, ???
Spend time with your octuplets and wife: Apu's kid and wife can be draining sometimes, but they're still his beloved family. He has to make time for them!
Reward: Apu Spends time with his wife and kids, gains gratitude towards Abe
Take a break: Mr Simpson and your wife are really bugging you that you should take more breaks more often. Pfft, Seriously, you are fine, you take plenty of breaks! Last time was… Uh.
Reluctantly, you admit they might have a point.
Reward: Apu takes some time for himself! If rolled high enough, chances to gain small bonuses to Apu's next National he is assigned to!
Feed Animals Around Springfield
You have a deep connection to nature, and you notice there's quite a few hungry animals around town. Better rectify that.
Reward: The Finale gains the loyalty of various animals around town
Take On A Contract.
Though you are working now for Mr Simpson, you would think he wouldn't mind if you were to take a contract for a small job. You refuse to have your skill rusts off for lack of practice.
Reward: The Finale takes a contract for a job outside of Springfield. Roll will be made to see how well he does on the mission, chances for him to meet new people/factions for Abe to reach out later.
Look On Your Own For More Clues About The Insignia.
Y'know you didn't have much luck looking into the group on your own, and while Mr Simpson says he will lend a hand that is no reason to leave everything to him…there has to be a clue somewhere, no one can hide totally from the world, right?
Rewards: Learn more clues about ???
You have a deep connection to nature, and you notice there's quite a few hungry animals around town. Better rectify that.
Reward: The Finale gains the loyalty of various animals around town
Take On A Contract.
Though you are working now for Mr Simpson, you would think he wouldn't mind if you were to take a contract for a small job. You refuse to have your skill rusts off for lack of practice.
Reward: The Finale takes a contract for a job outside of Springfield. Roll will be made to see how well he does on the mission, chances for him to meet new people/factions for Abe to reach out later.
Look On Your Own For More Clues About The Insignia.
Y'know you didn't have much luck looking into the group on your own, and while Mr Simpson says he will lend a hand that is no reason to leave everything to him…there has to be a clue somewhere, no one can hide totally from the world, right?
Rewards: Learn more clues about ???
Talk to Homer
Your relationship with your son is getting better, but you still have much to make up for. Maybe talking with him is a start.
Reward: Mona hangs out with Homer; possible +5/10 to a National she is assigned next turn
Clean up the Local Park
You hate the idea of nature being disturbed. You better fix this mess!
Reward: Clean up the local Springfield Park, possible bonus against Burns
Hang out with the Green Family
Your old friend Nancy and her family are getting settled in Springfield. You should probably go check in on them.
Reward: Hang out with The Green Family; possible +5/10 to a National she is assigned next turn
Your relationship with your son is getting better, but you still have much to make up for. Maybe talking with him is a start.
Reward: Mona hangs out with Homer; possible +5/10 to a National she is assigned next turn
Clean up the Local Park
You hate the idea of nature being disturbed. You better fix this mess!
Reward: Clean up the local Springfield Park, possible bonus against Burns
Hang out with the Green Family
Your old friend Nancy and her family are getting settled in Springfield. You should probably go check in on them.
Reward: Hang out with The Green Family; possible +5/10 to a National she is assigned next turn
Prank Someone
This may be pushing your luck, but you're mischievous at heart. You doubt these smhucks will do anything too bad as punishment.
Reward: Shenanigans, potential Intrigue increase
Write Poetry
You certainly wouldn't SHARE it with anyone if you could help it, but writing poetry is soothing to you.
Reward: Potential +5 to Lena's next Action she is assigned
Make New Friends: Friendship has never quite gone great for you. But you really don't want to hang around a bunch of old farts (and Hunter) all day.
Reward: Lena goes out and makes some new buddies, ???
Actually Hang out with Webby
Ughhh... It's easier to avoid her, but Gramps is right. You have to talk to her eventually...
Reward: Have a long overdue discussion with Webby.
Note: One of the QMs will be very sad if this is not taken
This may be pushing your luck, but you're mischievous at heart. You doubt these smhucks will do anything too bad as punishment.
Reward: Shenanigans, potential Intrigue increase
Write Poetry
You certainly wouldn't SHARE it with anyone if you could help it, but writing poetry is soothing to you.
Reward: Potential +5 to Lena's next Action she is assigned
Make New Friends: Friendship has never quite gone great for you. But you really don't want to hang around a bunch of old farts (and Hunter) all day.
Reward: Lena goes out and makes some new buddies, ???
Actually Hang out with Webby
Ughhh... It's easier to avoid her, but Gramps is right. You have to talk to her eventually...
Reward: Have a long overdue discussion with Webby.
Note: One of the QMs will be very sad if this is not taken
Run Your Bar
You may work for Mr. Simpson now, but thankfully he doesn't require you to do enough to override your previous responsibilities!
Reward: Potential to meet new people or hear interesting information
Practice Voodoo
You suppose brushing up on your Voodoo knowhow couldn't hurt, especially with that zombie and duck showing you up!
Reward: Increase in skill at voodoo
Create Drinks
You're much more skilled as a bartender than your usual clientele would imply. Time to show it by making new concoctions!
Reward: Make interesting new concoctions, potential to sell them if rolled high enough
Go on a Double Date with Flanders; Ned is a weenie and a Rube, but by no means a bad guy. Plus, being "friends" with one of the most beloved guys in town makes you look good!
Reward: ???
You may work for Mr. Simpson now, but thankfully he doesn't require you to do enough to override your previous responsibilities!
Reward: Potential to meet new people or hear interesting information
Practice Voodoo
You suppose brushing up on your Voodoo knowhow couldn't hurt, especially with that zombie and duck showing you up!
Reward: Increase in skill at voodoo
Create Drinks
You're much more skilled as a bartender than your usual clientele would imply. Time to show it by making new concoctions!
Reward: Make interesting new concoctions, potential to sell them if rolled high enough
Go on a Double Date with Flanders; Ned is a weenie and a Rube, but by no means a bad guy. Plus, being "friends" with one of the most beloved guys in town makes you look good!
Reward: ???
Start an Irn-Bru Smuggling Operation
The beloved drink of Scotland is illegal in America. Idiots! How else are you supposed to cure a hangover! You'll show them the joys of It!
Reward: Willie is made quite happy; potential +5 to the next action Willie is assigned to; potential to get income from the operation
Monkey To The Left Of Him, Monkey To The Right Of Him!:
Yer lovely new shed is under attack by monkeys! These bloody apes are getting out of control and it looks like it's up to Wille to handle this!
Reward: Willie fights those monkeys wandering the manor, potentially corralling them on a good enough roll.
The beloved drink of Scotland is illegal in America. Idiots! How else are you supposed to cure a hangover! You'll show them the joys of It!
Reward: Willie is made quite happy; potential +5 to the next action Willie is assigned to; potential to get income from the operation
Monkey To The Left Of Him, Monkey To The Right Of Him!:
Yer lovely new shed is under attack by monkeys! These bloody apes are getting out of control and it looks like it's up to Wille to handle this!
Reward: Willie fights those monkeys wandering the manor, potentially corralling them on a good enough roll.
Hang Out with the Hexsquad
Sometimes you still wonder if you deserve such good friends. But you have them, so it would be rude to ignore them.
Reward: Hunter hangs with his friends; potential to gain +5 to the next Action Hunter is assigned to; potential to unlock a Hexsquad member as a Trait
Study Human Realm Potions Material
Technically speaking, potions is the Track that a bile sac isn't strictly necessary. But it was hard enough with materials you actually knew about. A little research could be helpful.
Reward: Hunter learns about material on Earth that could theoretically be used in potions
Play with Flapjack
Flapjack seems... actually kinda familiar with the Human Realm? Maybe you're reading too much into it. Eh, regardless, he's your beloved partner and you should hang out with him.
Reward: Hunter hangs out with his beloved pet/first real friend; potential to unlock Flapjack as a Trait
Sometimes you still wonder if you deserve such good friends. But you have them, so it would be rude to ignore them.
Reward: Hunter hangs with his friends; potential to gain +5 to the next Action Hunter is assigned to; potential to unlock a Hexsquad member as a Trait
Study Human Realm Potions Material
Technically speaking, potions is the Track that a bile sac isn't strictly necessary. But it was hard enough with materials you actually knew about. A little research could be helpful.
Reward: Hunter learns about material on Earth that could theoretically be used in potions
Play with Flapjack
Flapjack seems... actually kinda familiar with the Human Realm? Maybe you're reading too much into it. Eh, regardless, he's your beloved partner and you should hang out with him.
Reward: Hunter hangs out with his beloved pet/first real friend; potential to unlock Flapjack as a Trait
Speak With Your People
No, not wizards, the elderly! One of the hardest parts of being ancient is seeing the other Immortals in the Wizarding World galavant like 20-60 year olds. Most of the folks at the retirement castle aren't much older than 100 but at least they act their age!
Reward: Crumbs hangs out with the elders of Springfield; potential opinion increase on Abe
Research Local Myths
You like to stay informed, honestly. Who knows, maybe you will find something interesting.
Reward: Crumbs looks into Springfield Myths. Can find Local hidden cryptids if rolled high enough. Can synergize with Rotwood's "Study Springfield Cryptids" personal.
Try out Candy
You adore sweets. Springfield has a lot of wacky treats. A match made in heaven!
Reward: Find Springfield exclusive sweets and eat them. Potential +5 to his next assigned action if rolled high enough.
Find A Good Yoga Class
You like to stay spry even in your older age, through you don't have the advantage of a the magic yoga room anymore. Maybe you can find a good class.
Reward: Crumbs limbers back up and gains the "Pretty Spry For A 3000 Year Old Guy" trait
No, not wizards, the elderly! One of the hardest parts of being ancient is seeing the other Immortals in the Wizarding World galavant like 20-60 year olds. Most of the folks at the retirement castle aren't much older than 100 but at least they act their age!
Reward: Crumbs hangs out with the elders of Springfield; potential opinion increase on Abe
Research Local Myths
You like to stay informed, honestly. Who knows, maybe you will find something interesting.
Reward: Crumbs looks into Springfield Myths. Can find Local hidden cryptids if rolled high enough. Can synergize with Rotwood's "Study Springfield Cryptids" personal.
Try out Candy
You adore sweets. Springfield has a lot of wacky treats. A match made in heaven!
Reward: Find Springfield exclusive sweets and eat them. Potential +5 to his next assigned action if rolled high enough.
Find A Good Yoga Class
You like to stay spry even in your older age, through you don't have the advantage of a the magic yoga room anymore. Maybe you can find a good class.
Reward: Crumbs limbers back up and gains the "Pretty Spry For A 3000 Year Old Guy" trait
Spread your wisdom: you run a blog that educates the youth about the paranormal. It's not very popular :c
Reward: Chances to talk to ???, opinion increase on Abe for not making fun of it
Study Springfield Cryptids: You would love to meet some of these wonderful creatures Mr. Simpson has mentioned lives here. You have the time and the tenacity!
Reward: Chances to run into local cryptids, opinion increase on Abe
Study with an Occult Unit: You now know for certain magic is real. And there's magic people here!
-Moe Szyslak: Oh. Mien. GOTT! A goblin man! In broad daylight! Okay, calm yourself Hans: you can do this. Just. Talk to him, get to know him a little, and perhaps ask him about vodún.
-Lena de spell: she's the young woman who hired you! Clearly she's a girl that learned how to mold shadows for herself. Ingenious! She already likes you so everything should be fine, right?
–Professor Crumbs: a real wizard! AND a fellow professor! You can't believe it, you have so many questions! What's he a Professor of? What is his wand like? Does he have an organ that will explode if he doesn't cast spells!?!...sweet mercy hans put yourself together.
-Hunter Noceda: this strapping young man knows a wide variety of magic. You have years of experience talking to boys his age, you were *made* for this!
-Frink: your fellow scientist says he hasn't made much progress with that spellbook of his, but it's still one more book than you have!
-The Kaiser: the Kaiser's here!?! and a zombie?!? ANDAND A WARLOCK!?!?! This is 3 of your biggest dreams come to life! Unlife! You're dying to get to know him, and if your new luck continues you might even come back from that!
-Random: maybe you're over complicating things; these people are your coworkers! Surely you can find the time to chat with more than one of them in the next few months.
(Note; if you pick the Randomize option, you will be able to talk to more than one as though you took this action multiple times, but the resulting rolls will receive a malus and associated rewards will be lesser)
Reward: Chances to talk to ???, opinion increase on Abe for not making fun of it
Study Springfield Cryptids: You would love to meet some of these wonderful creatures Mr. Simpson has mentioned lives here. You have the time and the tenacity!
Reward: Chances to run into local cryptids, opinion increase on Abe
Study with an Occult Unit: You now know for certain magic is real. And there's magic people here!
-Moe Szyslak: Oh. Mien. GOTT! A goblin man! In broad daylight! Okay, calm yourself Hans: you can do this. Just. Talk to him, get to know him a little, and perhaps ask him about vodún.
-Lena de spell: she's the young woman who hired you! Clearly she's a girl that learned how to mold shadows for herself. Ingenious! She already likes you so everything should be fine, right?
–Professor Crumbs: a real wizard! AND a fellow professor! You can't believe it, you have so many questions! What's he a Professor of? What is his wand like? Does he have an organ that will explode if he doesn't cast spells!?!...sweet mercy hans put yourself together.
-Hunter Noceda: this strapping young man knows a wide variety of magic. You have years of experience talking to boys his age, you were *made* for this!
-Frink: your fellow scientist says he hasn't made much progress with that spellbook of his, but it's still one more book than you have!
-The Kaiser: the Kaiser's here!?! and a zombie?!? ANDAND A WARLOCK!?!?! This is 3 of your biggest dreams come to life! Unlife! You're dying to get to know him, and if your new luck continues you might even come back from that!
-Random: maybe you're over complicating things; these people are your coworkers! Surely you can find the time to chat with more than one of them in the next few months.
(Note; if you pick the Randomize option, you will be able to talk to more than one as though you took this action multiple times, but the resulting rolls will receive a malus and associated rewards will be lesser)
Homer Spend time with your family:
Spend time with Herb.
The last time Herb and you met things didn't go so…well. But that doesn't mean things can't change! Simpson are meant to stay together right?
Reward: Homer makes amends with Herb.
What Can You Do Today
You tend to get into some crazy shenanigans and you usually don't have control over it, who knows what may happen today!
(This represents the usual Simpson episodes and how Homer gets into…well all the insane stuff it happens. It's a chaos roll that can either give good or bad traits to things)
Reward: Higher the roll the better.
Try and Learn How To Do Your Job.
Now that your father is your boss, you guess you have to try and put in a little more effort? He has tried to change for the better, you could probably do the same.
Progress Bar: 0/150
Reward: Remove the "Box of Donuts" trait
Rebuild the Besharps:
You remember that period when you were an even famous musician. And you really enjoyed singing with your pals a few months (years?) ago, so why don't you give it a shot?
Reward: Besharps are officially reunited, options to promote them, enter the entertainment sector with them.
Clean out your basement.
Marge has been asking you again to clean out the basement. Apparently, when they rebuilt your home, they dumped a bunch of trash there. But you don't see the reason, it's not bothering anyone there!
Reward: Marge is happy with Homer, basement cleaned, chances to find interesting items.
Spend time with Herb.
The last time Herb and you met things didn't go so…well. But that doesn't mean things can't change! Simpson are meant to stay together right?
Reward: Homer makes amends with Herb.
What Can You Do Today
You tend to get into some crazy shenanigans and you usually don't have control over it, who knows what may happen today!
(This represents the usual Simpson episodes and how Homer gets into…well all the insane stuff it happens. It's a chaos roll that can either give good or bad traits to things)
Reward: Higher the roll the better.
Try and Learn How To Do Your Job.
Now that your father is your boss, you guess you have to try and put in a little more effort? He has tried to change for the better, you could probably do the same.
Progress Bar: 0/150
Reward: Remove the "Box of Donuts" trait
Rebuild the Besharps:
You remember that period when you were an even famous musician. And you really enjoyed singing with your pals a few months (years?) ago, so why don't you give it a shot?
Reward: Besharps are officially reunited, options to promote them, enter the entertainment sector with them.
Clean out your basement.
Marge has been asking you again to clean out the basement. Apparently, when they rebuilt your home, they dumped a bunch of trash there. But you don't see the reason, it's not bothering anyone there!
Reward: Marge is happy with Homer, basement cleaned, chances to find interesting items.
Fully Focus on Hosting Your Show
You would do this anyways, but time to give it your all. There's more eyes on you than ever...
Reward: Krusty fully focuses on keeping his show going, Potential income gain, potential +5 to his next action.
Advertise Something
Your Star is on the rise! Which means... Merchandising babyyyyy!
Reward: Krusty shills his face out to some product, quality dependent on roll. Income gain depends on Roll as well.
Look into your Daughter
Over a year. Your beloved daughter has been missing for over a year. You can't give up on her. She's out there somewhere...
Reward: Find clues about Sophie's whereabouts.
Talk with Sideshow Mel
Mel and you have your ups and downs, but he's still your friend.
Reward: Talk with Mel, potential +5 to Krusty's next action. High rolls have Mel become a trait.
Visit Sideshow Bob
With his family in another country, no one is going to see the guy. And... You feel a little bad, despite everything.
Reward: Krusty visits Bob, potential slight Intrigue increase from tips if roll is high enough.
You would do this anyways, but time to give it your all. There's more eyes on you than ever...
Reward: Krusty fully focuses on keeping his show going, Potential income gain, potential +5 to his next action.
Advertise Something
Your Star is on the rise! Which means... Merchandising babyyyyy!
Reward: Krusty shills his face out to some product, quality dependent on roll. Income gain depends on Roll as well.
Look into your Daughter
Over a year. Your beloved daughter has been missing for over a year. You can't give up on her. She's out there somewhere...
Reward: Find clues about Sophie's whereabouts.
Talk with Sideshow Mel
Mel and you have your ups and downs, but he's still your friend.
Reward: Talk with Mel, potential +5 to Krusty's next action. High rolls have Mel become a trait.
Visit Sideshow Bob
With his family in another country, no one is going to see the guy. And... You feel a little bad, despite everything.
Reward: Krusty visits Bob, potential slight Intrigue increase from tips if roll is high enough.
Springfield Actions
Build bunkers for the city DC 45. Now that the city is back to its former glory you suppose it wouldn't hurt to make some preparations in case another disaster strikes. You can never be too prepared nowadays apparently. (Cost 1 income)
Reward: bunkers to protect civilians build, in cases of attacks or crisis less chances for them to be hurt.
Reward: bunkers to protect civilians build, in cases of attacks or crisis less chances for them to be hurt.
Diplomacy: Opening a new ecosystem DC: 40. So according to The Finale, there are these walking animals and 2 types at that predator and prey around a place called zootopia. Huh, first time you heard about that.
Now apparently the predators aren't being treated right having to wear shock collars that zap them if they get to angry or too scared or to happy...or even to sad...basically if they show to much emotion zap ,so how about you give those folks a place to live where they won't get zapped by making springfield open to all(animal) predators!.
Reward: Springfield gets a wave of new citizens(and they're money) Bellwether will be aware of your existence and get slightly annoyed. (Choose this at your own risk).
Diplomacy - Reach Out To The Zombies - DC???
So if all the zombies are like The Kaiser and have all their memories and junk then wouldn't they be open to talking? Send someone in to check out the cemetery and actually chat with the zombies to see if they are evil undead out to eat all our brains or just kinda weird guys who can live with the rest of the weirdos in Springfield.
Reward: Communications opened with the zombies, further zombie actions unlocked.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Magically Ward The Cemetery.
Now apparently the predators aren't being treated right having to wear shock collars that zap them if they get to angry or too scared or to happy...or even to sad...basically if they show to much emotion zap ,so how about you give those folks a place to live where they won't get zapped by making springfield open to all(animal) predators!.
Reward: Springfield gets a wave of new citizens(and they're money) Bellwether will be aware of your existence and get slightly annoyed. (Choose this at your own risk).
Diplomacy - Reach Out To The Zombies - DC???
So if all the zombies are like The Kaiser and have all their memories and junk then wouldn't they be open to talking? Send someone in to check out the cemetery and actually chat with the zombies to see if they are evil undead out to eat all our brains or just kinda weird guys who can live with the rest of the weirdos in Springfield.
Reward: Communications opened with the zombies, further zombie actions unlocked.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Magically Ward The Cemetery.
A bigger mini mall. DC 40: So you've gotten word that Shelbyvilles Building up its business, financial, and shopping areas, includinng a new mini mall. How about you spend some money building up Springfield's own districts to show shelbyville whos boss...oh and while you're at it, you'll build an even bigger mini-mall too! (Cost 1 income)
Rewards: Springfield outshines Shelbyville and gets a new ( and bigger than shelbyvilles) mini mall!...oh and springfield also gets more money and tourism as a result of the new stores.
All that shines is gold now. DC 50: You'd think the streets were paved with gold,now after jogging your memory for a bit you've remembered when springfield used to be a city on the growth. Back when the old aqua-car factory was up and running and when half the country wore Springfield galoshes, back then people acted like the streets were paved with gold mostly cause they were!
So why don't you bring back at least some of Springfields glory days by repaving the streets with gold once more!? Now this will be expensive, no doubt about it but it would at least bring back memories of Springfields glory days and perhaps even a little bit of that old pride that Springfield used to have. (COST 6 INCOME!)
Rewards: Springfields streets are repaved with gold! Big Tourism increases along with an increase in town pride (Relationship status goes up another rank), slight increase in car accidents.
Organize a concert Dc 40: The mood of the city seems still down nowadays. Even though people seem happy to finally get rid of the Dome, things haven't gotten fully back to normal yet. Perhaps hiring some people to do a big concert would cheer them up? (Cost 2 income)
Rewards: Abe organizes a concert for the whole city. Springfield citizens mood and opinion towards Abe up. Small raise in income once for next income turn gain.
Renovate the Springfield Retirement Castle. DC 15: So long suckers! Now that you got Burns big ass mansion on your name you don't have to spend a single second inside the place!...Though you feel a little bad for the other residents, that place was horrible…would it hurt to give a little parting gift to them?
Reward: Springfield retirement castle is renovated, increasing the opinion of people about Abe.
We're Having A Party! - DC45 - Costs 1 Income [This Action Is Only Available This Turn]
Hard to believe it's only been a year since you took over the plant, so much has changed and so many people have come into your life. You really need to give back to everyone and a big ass party is just the way to do it! Food, music, games, the whole shebang to ring in the new year!
Reward: Increased Opinion from all your employees as they feel appreciated. Chance to speak to many of your workers and for their families to mingle.
This action Synergizes with Organize a Concert. If both actions are taken in the same turn, it only counts as 1 action but has the combined DC and Cost of both. Only 1 hero can be assigned to the Synergized action.
Note: The theme and feel of the party will change depending on which hero unit you assign to help the action. Moe's party will be different, than Hunter's, which will differ from Jasper's
Move All The Bodies From The Cemetery Somewhere Else - DC 60
Bodies keep crawling out of the ground of the cemetery and standing back up, so what if you took all the bodies from the cemetery and moved them somewhere else? Then they won't stand up and you'll only need to deal with the zombies you've already got! (Probably)
Reward: All non-zombie corpses will be removed from the Springfield Cemetery and brought somewhere else, hopefully preventing new zombies from emerging.
Rewards: Springfield outshines Shelbyville and gets a new ( and bigger than shelbyvilles) mini mall!...oh and springfield also gets more money and tourism as a result of the new stores.
All that shines is gold now. DC 50: You'd think the streets were paved with gold,now after jogging your memory for a bit you've remembered when springfield used to be a city on the growth. Back when the old aqua-car factory was up and running and when half the country wore Springfield galoshes, back then people acted like the streets were paved with gold mostly cause they were!
So why don't you bring back at least some of Springfields glory days by repaving the streets with gold once more!? Now this will be expensive, no doubt about it but it would at least bring back memories of Springfields glory days and perhaps even a little bit of that old pride that Springfield used to have. (COST 6 INCOME!)
Rewards: Springfields streets are repaved with gold! Big Tourism increases along with an increase in town pride (Relationship status goes up another rank), slight increase in car accidents.
Organize a concert Dc 40: The mood of the city seems still down nowadays. Even though people seem happy to finally get rid of the Dome, things haven't gotten fully back to normal yet. Perhaps hiring some people to do a big concert would cheer them up? (Cost 2 income)
Rewards: Abe organizes a concert for the whole city. Springfield citizens mood and opinion towards Abe up. Small raise in income once for next income turn gain.
Renovate the Springfield Retirement Castle. DC 15: So long suckers! Now that you got Burns big ass mansion on your name you don't have to spend a single second inside the place!...Though you feel a little bad for the other residents, that place was horrible…would it hurt to give a little parting gift to them?
Reward: Springfield retirement castle is renovated, increasing the opinion of people about Abe.
We're Having A Party! - DC45 - Costs 1 Income [This Action Is Only Available This Turn]
Hard to believe it's only been a year since you took over the plant, so much has changed and so many people have come into your life. You really need to give back to everyone and a big ass party is just the way to do it! Food, music, games, the whole shebang to ring in the new year!
Reward: Increased Opinion from all your employees as they feel appreciated. Chance to speak to many of your workers and for their families to mingle.
This action Synergizes with Organize a Concert. If both actions are taken in the same turn, it only counts as 1 action but has the combined DC and Cost of both. Only 1 hero can be assigned to the Synergized action.
Note: The theme and feel of the party will change depending on which hero unit you assign to help the action. Moe's party will be different, than Hunter's, which will differ from Jasper's
Move All The Bodies From The Cemetery Somewhere Else - DC 60
Bodies keep crawling out of the ground of the cemetery and standing back up, so what if you took all the bodies from the cemetery and moved them somewhere else? Then they won't stand up and you'll only need to deal with the zombies you've already got! (Probably)
Reward: All non-zombie corpses will be removed from the Springfield Cemetery and brought somewhere else, hopefully preventing new zombies from emerging.
Occult: Bless Springfield DC 80. At the urgency of Ned you started looking for ways to have a high member of the church come and bless the grounds of Springfield. This should help ward off demonic influences, or something like that, if Ned rambling is correct. (Cost 2 income)
Reward: Demonic entities have to pass a high DC to enter the city, and the ones that do suffer minor debuffs while staying within the city limits.
Occult - Magically Ward The Cemetery - DC 75
You gotta make sure those zombies stay put and Crumbs has said that a magic barrier to keep the undead in shouldn't actually be too complex, but that its a lot like lifting an engine block. Simple, but you're gonna need a lotta power to do it.
Reward: The Cemetery is warded completely, preventing any of the zombies leaving it without the say so of you or one of your wizards.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Reach Out To The Zombies
Reward: Demonic entities have to pass a high DC to enter the city, and the ones that do suffer minor debuffs while staying within the city limits.
Occult - Magically Ward The Cemetery - DC 75
You gotta make sure those zombies stay put and Crumbs has said that a magic barrier to keep the undead in shouldn't actually be too complex, but that its a lot like lifting an engine block. Simple, but you're gonna need a lotta power to do it.
Reward: The Cemetery is warded completely, preventing any of the zombies leaving it without the say so of you or one of your wizards.
Note: This action CANNOT be taken with Reach Out To The Zombies
Martial - Bank Heist - DC Variable
[] Choose a city whose bank you'd like to rob
Hank has given the suggestion to rob a bank and split the profits down the middle. He doesn't really have a care for what bank or who owns it, just that he gets to rob a bank.
Reward: Lump sum of Income (but less than you'd expect since banks don't actually have that much cash)
Martial - Goldfiger DC: ???
So Hank Scorpio notices you've got a large amount of nuclear power and has come to you with an interesting proposal.
What if you nuked Fort Knox to irradiate all the gold inside of it, making all these golden bars Scorpio owns basically priceless?
That seems like a totally normal and reasonable business plan right?
Intrigue - Stealing from a Rival - DC Variable
[] Choose who
Scorpio says he's got a brilliant money making scheme. You guys break into someone else's place of business and just take everything that isn't nailed down, then you break out the hammer and take the nails and the things that are nailed down as well.
Reward: Lump sum of Income and potentially interesting items
Intrigue - Build a Totally Not James Bond Villain Style Hideout - DC 85 Intrigue Action
Scorpio has an idea for a timeshare style deal between you two. What if you made an incredibly crazy and hidden secret lair that the both of you could use whenever you needed to cut someone in half with a lazer (he's very insistent laser is spelled with a z) or contemplate world domination. You're not sure you will need it, but having a secret base hidden away doesn't sound like a bad idea.
Reward: You gain a James Bond Villain style secret base which Hank Scorpio may occasionally use to feed people to the shark tank.
Martial - Terrorism - DC Terrorism
Terrorism
Reward - Terrorism
[] Choose a city whose bank you'd like to rob
Hank has given the suggestion to rob a bank and split the profits down the middle. He doesn't really have a care for what bank or who owns it, just that he gets to rob a bank.
Reward: Lump sum of Income (but less than you'd expect since banks don't actually have that much cash)
Martial - Goldfiger DC: ???
So Hank Scorpio notices you've got a large amount of nuclear power and has come to you with an interesting proposal.
What if you nuked Fort Knox to irradiate all the gold inside of it, making all these golden bars Scorpio owns basically priceless?
That seems like a totally normal and reasonable business plan right?
Intrigue - Stealing from a Rival - DC Variable
[] Choose who
Scorpio says he's got a brilliant money making scheme. You guys break into someone else's place of business and just take everything that isn't nailed down, then you break out the hammer and take the nails and the things that are nailed down as well.
Reward: Lump sum of Income and potentially interesting items
Intrigue - Build a Totally Not James Bond Villain Style Hideout - DC 85 Intrigue Action
Scorpio has an idea for a timeshare style deal between you two. What if you made an incredibly crazy and hidden secret lair that the both of you could use whenever you needed to cut someone in half with a lazer (he's very insistent laser is spelled with a z) or contemplate world domination. You're not sure you will need it, but having a secret base hidden away doesn't sound like a bad idea.
Reward: You gain a James Bond Villain style secret base which Hank Scorpio may occasionally use to feed people to the shark tank.
Martial - Terrorism - DC Terrorism
Terrorism
Reward - Terrorism
BLACKMAIL CHOICE:
According to Fat Tony the evidence gathering dust in your safe about the dome could be sold for a pretty penny to some…"concerned parties" if you so wished. On the other hand, He also comments that you could use that blackmail to demand…a few things from Good Old Uncle Sam. Though that's risky, Fat Tony says, if we asks for too much they might not accept. It would also mean actually following the side of your deal and giving the evidence to them. On the other hand…
What does Abe do about the blackmail?
[ ] Nothing…yet (You don't use the blackmail, options remain open.)
[] Make your demands to Uncle sam in exchange for not releasing the information. (With the advice of Fat Tony you realize that you actually have them on a vice grip. You could asks for whatever you want as long as you held this over their heads…just make sure to be careful what to asks for, or how often)
-[](Write in your demands, be aware that if you ask for too much, the government might just refuse you, blackmail be damned.)
[ ] Offer it to a "King". This information can be quite a door opener with the right people. Can easily land you in the good graces of one of the top dogs around here…if you dare risk it.
-[] (Write which king you will offer the blackmail to)
NOTE: We are now accepting Write-In Actions. If you want to submit a Write-in Action please write it up, mark what stat you believe it should be, and we will take a look at it and try to come up with a DC and if it will fit in.
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- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
...I think this should be in the Plans. Sooner, rather than later.